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Your Ghosts

Summary:

An expanded story of Kevin.

Notes:

So, a lot of the fic is going to be just abusing Kevin to start with.

Ok, so this is Part 3 of the Series (although Part 4 had things before, it intersects this one).

- I will be working on adding 'The Weather' to the fic. I won't add it chapter-by-chapter on the Alternate version of Act 2, but I will be adding a weather to the start of Act 2 Alt. -
Here is the link to the weather playlist On Spotify
The Weather for Your Ghosts is (you guessed it) - Call Off Your Ghosts - Dessa
I will try not to use actual weathers for chapters but as I named the fic after the song, it would be odd to pick a different one.

Chapter 1: Training

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Good morning, Desert Bluffs.” The cheery voice repeated and repeated and repeated and repeated and repeated and repeated. The radio cracked and coughed the words in a way that they had not been spoken. Again and again and again and again. It was what he woke to now. His own voice through the silence. The silence was why he couldn’t sleep. His voice was why he couldn’t wake up.

Even the air didn’t seem to want to stay to listen to the distorted words. Over and over and over and over. His lungs deflated. He begged them to stay that way but they did nothing to oblige.

A woman marched into the room. Her dress came to just below the knee and just below the shoulder. Her voice was not sweet. She was obviously trying to have a sweet voice but her voice was not sweet. Again and again and again and again. What was she saying? Did it matter? It didn’t matter, Kevin decided, lulling his head away from her and blowing out harshly through his nose. Please stay deflated, he begged silently. She kept talking all the same. Those unsweet, unuseful, unhelpful words. Those vile, toxic, ridiculous words.

Vanessa walked through the corner of his vision and he jumped to life.

The woman also jumped but she jumped in reaction to him jumping. She hadn’t liked jumping and so made his body jump once again. Upwards and outwards. His fingers spread. His body tense. Not him, just his body. He was not surprised or caught off guard by this, he simply felt the pain rushing through his arms and up his chest, through his heart, and neck. It was over in less than a second but what is a second when time doesn’t work? It felt much longer and also much shorter, depending on which of their viewpoints you looked at it from. It was obvious that the woman wished his body could stand to draw it out.

The woman continued talking and Kevin could not stand it any longer. That unsweet, vile, high pitched venom. Her voice was more torture than her torture most of the time. He wondered if this was intentional. If she had realised how she grated on every part of him.

“Shut up, Lauren.” He rasped. It was meant to be a sneer. He hadn’t thought about it but his throat seemed like sand at that moment. Not because of the words, he didn’t think. He didn’t stay pressed against the back of the chair. He didn’t know when she had last let him have a drink. He had become habituated to the migraine, afterall.

Another shock. In the electrical sense only. He knew the consequences now. Kevin laughed for a moment and then stopped himself in shame.

He could see Lauren out of the corner of his eye, smiling. Lauren didn’t smile. Not in here. Not when she wasn’t in public. Kevin remembered the first time he had seen her facade drop. He had been scared more than he had ever been scared in his life but wasn’t actually sure if it was because of her expression or if it was because of the knife in her hand or if it was because of the biorobotic men holding him in place and the blood of Vanessa on the window to the control room. He had seen what Lauren had done to Vanessa. His beautiful Vanessa. The one with the smile that he loved and the memories that they held. The touches they had shared and the love between them. How he yearned to tell her just one last time.

“Are you even listening, Kevin? Your lack of cooperation is just not productive. We need a nice, productive voice, Kevin. StrexCorp deserves that much, don’t we?” Lauren said, tapping her taser on the back of his hand but not touching him with the metal prongs, “Sometimes I wonder if you actually like this, Kevin. Are you being this unproductive because you like this? Do you enjoy pain, Kevin?”

“Are you always such an insufferable woman?” Kevin asked, feeling a smile pull at his face but fighting it back, “Do you-”

Kevin was interrupted by a harsh slap across the face. Lauren seemed to wait for him to continue. She didn’t talk, which was a first for her.

“Vanessa hit way harder.” He laughed, trying to stop himself but failing. He felt sick at how successful they had been at making him insufferably happy. It still wasn’t enough for them, “I thought you were trying to hurt me? You might as well keep talking, that’s worse than you-”

Lauren slapped him again, harder, leaving a large red mark where her hand had collided. Kevin couldn’t help but laugh and wheeze and laugh and smile.

Lauren just watched him and that made Kevin laugh even harder.

“Oh, Lauren!” Kevin cried in faux joyous laughter, using the bridge to ground himself into a normal talking pattern again, “Again! Again!”

He looked down and shook his head, trying to contain himself. He shouldn’t love fighting her this much. “You really think that’s how people act? Lauren!? You think that I’ll magically just bend to your will because you flash some images in my face and shock me? You slap me like a five year old and get a psych to tell me that smiling is healthy? Really, Lauren? Really?”

Lauren sighed, giving a defeated look and waiting for Kevin to acknowledge it. When he saw her face his heart stopped for a moment, staring. Was she really giving up? She couldn’t be? He had worn her down? After all this time? How long had it even been? I was meant to win… Cecil had told him so… but was this really his victory? Just like that?

He went to raise his hand, forgetting the restraints that held him in place and wincing at the cut they gave him.

“Oh, Lauren. You know that I’ll win in the end.” Kevin giggled, his tongue running across the inside scars of his smile. It felt horrible to do but his tongue was just so attractive to what shouldn’t be there, “You don’t have to beat yourself up about it. It’s just how the future goes.”

“Oh, Kevin. You really have bested me, I know.” Lauren said, although he could tell that she didn’t mean that, “I suppose that I’ll let doctor Reed see you then, Kev. I obviously am not helping your disposition. My poor puppy Kevvy. So sick and not at all smiling.”

“Don’t call me tha-” He was cut off again by her taser. His whole body reacting.

She held it on him for longer than she had before. Longer than she maybe should have. Long enough to burn the skin noticeably under the metal. A scar he’d carry forever.

Specks started to dance in his vision, slowly fading out to the sight of a thin, boney face. Another woman with no obvious StrexCorp mutilation. He wasn’t sure that she didn’t have any but whatever it was wasn’t visible.

She just sat there, staring at him. Kevin assumed she was waiting for him to come to, so kept his eyes moving to postpone the awful conversation he knew he was about to have. It seemed to work for a few minutes but eventually the doctor just continued anyway.

“How are you feeling today, Kev?” She asked, taking the pen off of her clipboard clip. It tapped against the clipboard but there was nothing for it to record yet, unless she was that interested in a man staring randomly around the room.

He didn’t answer until after she had restated the question twice. It wasn’t clear if she had bought that he wasn’t fully conscious or if she was simply more patient than him. He couldn’t stand hearing the question again. Hearing her call him that stupid abbreviation.

“Numb.” He replied, clicking his tongue and looking away from her. It wasn’t a lie, emotionally at least. It wasn’t the answer she wanted but he was sure that most StrexCorp employees must feel numb. There was no way they could do such horrible things with such happiness. Not really. Except maybe Lauren. She felt something but it certainly wasn’t happiness.

“Oh no! That’s not good.” The facade started. Reed was smiley. It was hard to tell if she was smiley due to a lack of empathy or if it was to hide her real feelings. Either way, her enthusiasm was clear. She had dropped the smile and tilted her head as if trying to show sympathy but not really understanding what sympathy meant, “Well, maybe working will help. Work makes everything better.”

Kevin glanced at her and then rolled his eyes. He had thought that she was unarmed but a sharp shock ran through him and a burning rose in his temples alerting him to the electrodes that had been stuck to his head. It occurred to him that Lauren had probably knocked him out and he hadn’t even realised. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

“So, Kevin, we are going to be productive in today’s sessions, aren’t we?” She hummed, smiling wide again, “What do you remember today, Kev? It’s important that we at StrexCorp know what memories are really distressing you!”

“Don’t ca-” He stopped talking as he saw her reach for the button again. His stomach twisted at the mere thought of another shock, “I remember a lot of things, you’ll need to be more specific. Your definition of distressing and mine are polar opposites.”

“Favourite memory?” She asked in a clinical tone, looking back down at her clipboard and then shocking him anyway, “Oh dear, my hand slipped.”

Her voice was plain. It neither sounds like she took pleasure for it nor regretted it.

“Oh, my induction into Strex, of course. Distressingly favourite!” Kevin smiled mockingly, sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes.

“Replace eyes.” The doctor mumbled, making a note on her clipboard, “Tell me about your induction.”

Kevin’s blood ran cold. She couldn’t be serious. His eyes were perfectly fine and Strex only used what they needed. They prioritized saving money, they wouldn’t replace his eyes if they didn’t need to, surely. He would have struggled but he didn’t want to repeat his earlier mistake. His restraints were not well kept and each time he forgot about them or pulled at them or was shocked they cut into his wrists, ankles, and upper arms. He was sure that they had been sharpened.

“You brought me in here and here we are.” He retorted, getting another shock. He panted, dizzy and weak. Every muscle in his body was sore already but the last shock had taken the last of his energy, “Lauren and the representative bots pulled me into the station. They held me on my chair and pulled my eyes open. Lauren was talking and talking but I wasn’t listening…”

Kevin trailed off, staring past doctor Reed and towards Vanessa. She was standing against the far wall. She was the only thing that was clear at that distance. He couldn’t risk another shock, he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He took a deep breath but it wasn’t enough to stop his voice from shaking.

“... I was looking at Vanessa. Lauren saw that. I guess she didn’t want to share the attention…” Red flashed in his eyes and he looked down to his restraints. He saw the cold metal hands of the robot representatives holding him to his office chair, “... I struggled so much and I couldn’t save her. I screamed and cried and Lauren didn’t like that either.”

Doctor Reed took notes and then waved dismissively.

“That sounds like a wonderful time, Kev! That’s great!”

Her words passed over Kevin but didn’t go in. He was watching the blood pool at his feet and could only focus on the burning in his face. It would have taken more than he had to stay present, to keep talking. He heard her talk but her words just carried over him. He heard himself talk but couldn’t tell what he was saying.

Reed also didn’t know what Kevin was saying, but this brought a smile to her face again. She put the clipboard to the side and hummed, standing and walking closer to him.

Kevin could feel her touching him, his arm, but couldn’t move. He couldn’t see her. He could only see his blood soaked studio, courtesy of Lauren Mallad. He could see her, standing over him. Towering. She was taller than he remembered. She was taller than she had been when she was standing in this room just a moment ago.

He had no idea how long he had been stuck like this but he felt a weight lift off of his chest. His anxiety and pain seemed to melt away and the room came back into focus. He was alone again. That made him happy. He couldn’t tell if it should make him happy or not. He was not free and he still needed to fight. He still needed to win. The thought made him laugh, gently and in a way that felt pure.

At least, his laugh had felt pure until he had noticed his arm.

A tube ran from the fold up into a medical bag of who knows what. He loved it. He hated it. His brain was telling him that it was a terrible thing. That the tube would be his downfall, or at least the medicine inside it. His heart told him a different story completely.

His heart leapt with joy. Pure, unadulterated joy! He pulled at his hands and shivered as he felt the beautifully warm blood heat his cold hands. It was beautiful.

No! What were they giving him? His thoughts raced, wanting to escape. Wanting more. Sensations in places he hadn’t imagined. Heat in his face. So happy. So wrong.

“Kevin!” He was snapped back into reality again by a tall nurse with a strong jaw. They were carrying a tray of food and smiling at him, “It’s your favourite today. Pasta Salad. Are you hungry enough to eat?”
Kevin tried to swallow but his throat was too dry. He looked at the water and the nurse had immediately put the cup to his lips.

“I snuck you a juice box too.” They told him, humming as he watched Kevin drink, “I hope they haven’t been too hard on you today.”

“No.” Kevin said as he swallowed the last mouthful of water, “Juice?”

A small laugh came from them. A genuine laugh. Then they looked out the window to check for Lauren before holding the juice box up for him to drink. Again Kevin finished it quickly.

“Just questions today. No images yet, so that’s a plus.” Kevin hummed in a sing-song tone. He knew it was the medicine but he hoped that they wouldn’t notice.

The nurse, whose name was Alex, just smiled and offered him food. Alex’s entire job was to feed Kevin. He was the only person still in the training facility. Alex had told him so as they had discussed their hobbies a few days ago. Kevin was sure that there must have been cameras on him because Lauren had mentioned painting to him yesterday. Alex had assured him that it was a coincidence and showed him with a mirror that there were no cameras. This hadn’t fully convinced Kevin at the time but today he was feeling so joyful that he just didn’t care.

“Alex.” Kevin purred between mouthfuls, rocking his head back and forth, “What have they given me?”

“No idea but you seem happy, so I’m happy.” Alex said. It took him a moment to realise that their wording was perhaps not the best, considering their position and company, “I mean, you seem to be enjoying it. I haven’t seen you enjoy anything in a while.”

“Why do you work for Strex? Such a lovely person, I thought they would have taken that away from you.”

“I applied for the job because it paid well.” They explained, letting Kevin’s wrist out of their restraints, “Don’t pull out your IV. I will be fired.”

“That’s a good thing, surely.” Kevin hummed, “Except then I won’t see you and that would make me sad.”

Alex handed him his pasta salad and Kevin savoured it. Alex always made it just the way he liked it. It made him feel special, even in a place like this.

“Your turn. Tell me about you, before this. Tell me about your childhood or your first crush. Something special to you”

“Oh…” Kevin started, spinning a piece of pasta on his fork. He tried his best to get comfortable in his seat, “Well… I mean, you’re pretty special to me. I wonder how long I’ve been here a lot but never when you’re here.”

“It would be nice to hang out outside of work.” They mused, looking into Kevin’s yellow eyes, “Other than me. Tell me a special memory or something.”

He froze. Reed had asked him the same. He was sure she had asked today. It had to be coincidence though, he assured himself. Alex was just interested in him. Interest in him. The thought made Kevin smile so wide he felt one of his stitches pulling at his skin. He didn’t even care.

“Well, Alex, I would love to teach you my father’s caramel recipe. My brother and I would always try to sneak some before it cooled but my father said it would burn our hands.” Kevin excitedly explained that he watched his father melting the sugar and cream and how it tasted just heavenly when cooled on a tray, “It was just my favourite treat and one of the only times my brother and I wouldn’t argue. It looked amazing when it was gooey.”

“I’d love you to show me how to make it.” Alex leant forward, cupping Kevin’s cheek softly and causing his heart to leap, “You’re a very special person too, Kev.”

“Please don’t call me that.” Kevin laughed, leaning against Alex’s hand, “I despise that name so much!”

“Sorry. It’s just what they call you. I had no idea.” They took their hand back and checked the window again, “If I let your arms go fully, promise you won’t try anything?”

Kevin thought. He didn’t know what he would try with his legs still bound. He could try hurting Alex but he certainly didn’t want to do that. I could pull out his IV but he could do that now if he was that bothered. He honestly was welcoming it’s comfort at this point.

“Promise.” He agreed and leant back to give Alex space to lean over him.

Once he was free, Kevin handed Alex the bowl and stretched as much as he could. It felt amazing. Better than anything he had ever remembered.

“Thank you,”

Alex smiled softly, sending shivers through Kevin as he watched their face. They put the empty bowl on the floor and leant forward again, pressing their lips against Kevin’s. Kevin certainly did not move away. He reached a hand up behind their head and pulled them closer, making the most of this short burst of affection and how sweet it felt at that moment.

As soon as he pulled away and Alex sat back down, Kevin felt a guilt in the pit of his stomach. Vanessa was standing right there, after all.

He looked towards where she had been and she was no longer there. Had she left because of Alex?

“Oh no…” Kevin breathed, staring at that one point on the wall, “...Vanessa.”

“Vanessa?” Alex asked, following his eyes and then looking back at him.

“My…” Kevin thought about his words. He thought carefully. He thought about his feelings and he felt a surge of that burning joy in his chest and a rush in his head, “... intern! My intern!”

Alex tilted their head, looking back and forth one more time before questioning, “The dead one?”

The air fell silent. The silence seemed to weigh down on him. Alex’s words weighed down on him. Then their words sparked a sick and amazing happiness.

“You know Vanessa? Oh, she’s so lovely, isn’t she?” Kevin cried, leaning back in his chair and letting Alex restrain him again. He hummed a tune, his radio’s tune, “She loved that song and I love her.”

Alex clicked their tongue and then stood, walking out the door as Kevin called after them.

“No, Alex!” Kevin yelled between ecstatic laughs. He didn’t even know where they were coming from. He didn’t know why he was so happy! “Please, Alex, come back!”

He felt tears run down his face, laughing harder and harder. He couldn’t control it.

“Lauren!” He called. Why had he called her? He didn’t want her here! Not now! Not ever, but particularly not now! “Lauren! Lauren! Lauren!”

Kevin breathed deep to try and control himself but all he could do was laugh. All he could do was cry.

He kept calling her. He couldn’t stop himself, crying that he was so happy. So deliriously happy. He thought about the Strex representative he had killed and his laughing grew harder. His smile grew wider. The blood. It made him so happy. The feeling of his throat… hose… Why did it make him so happy? The feeling of that warm life source. He couldn’t control it! At least when Lauren had come in she was laughing with him. No.

She was laughing at him.

Notes:

And now, The Weather People I Don't Like - UPSAHL