Pernille wakes up and before even opening her eyes she feels around the bed, her arm hitting the left side of the bed with a thump. Empty.
She stretches her arms and yawns, wondering where Magda could be. If on cue, one of the babies kicks against her ribs and she places her hands to her stomach.
She smiles to herself and rubs her hand across her belly. “And good morning to you guys.”
Her stomach grumbles softly which leads her to assume Magda is most likely in the kitchen cooking her breakfast.
Magda has been amazing throughout her pregnancy. Always making her breakfast (or really any meal), doing all the chores, making sure she’s always comfortable. It’s really a testament to what kind of mother Magda is going to make.
Pernille knows Magda is making up for the fact that Pernille is the one doing most of the work and she wants to be as involved as she can, but sometimes Pernille wishes Magda would be a little less caring, if that makes sense. Pernille is grateful, don’t get her wrong, but she can see how it is taking away from Magda's football.
Of course being a parent will come first, Pernille knows that, but she can already see it affecting Magda’s football. It seems like she’s playing scared. Not taking as many risks, playing it safe. And Pernille can’t help but think that it’s her fault.
Pernille is scared too, yes, but at some point these babies are going to come, and soon, so they need to be prepared to be scared all the time.
Maybe they should talk about this. However, Pernille feels another kick to her stomach and forgets all about the fear that was on her mind just a moment before.
Right now in this moment all she feels is love. Even though she still has a couple months left, she is already so in love with these babies and she knows Magda feels the same. The love she feels is stronger than the fear at this moment. She just hopes that it will always stay like that.
“Well we better get up, huh?” She says to the babies.
Pernille slowly rises from the bed, as it’s been getting harder to do normal everyday things, much less play football. She never thought about how much harder it would be to carry two babies.
She hobbles her way into the kitchen and glances around the room. Magda nowhere in sight. Hmm.
There’s food set out on the counter and with the chef nowhere in sight, she pops a strawberry into her mouth.
“Morning.” She hears from behind her as Magda wraps both of her arms around Pernilles waist, Magda’s hands stopping to rest on her swollen belly. Pernille moves her hands so that they lay on top of Magda’s. “You were supposed to stay in bed. You ruined my breakfast in bed surprise.”
Pernille laughs against Magda. “Is it really a surprise if you do it everyday?”
“I guess not.” Magda places a kiss to her cheek.
“Here come sit and I’ll bring you your plate.” Magda pulls out Pernille’s chair for her.
“Thanks babe.” Pernille says. She can get her own food, but she doesn’t want to fight, so. instead she opts to follow Magda's wishes. She knows Magda is just being thoughtful for her and for the babies.
“So what’s on the agenda today?” Pernille asks Magda as she takes a seat across from her. It’s Saturday and Magda has the day off from training.
“Not much.” Magda says between bites. “Thought we could just hangout.”
So basically what Pernille does everyday. She doesn’t want to seem ungrateful. Of course she’s grateful to be carrying their children and she wants to do what’s best for them, but she misses football and she misses being able to have the energy to go out and do things.
“Okay.” Is what Pernille sticks with. She loves Magda and loves spending time with Magda. So a day together isn’t the worst thing she can think of.
Later they are sitting out in their backyard, the early spring weather just right. Not too hot where Pernille’s already very pregnant body would start to overheat, but just the right amount of sun and breeze. From the past few years she’s been in London, Pernille has found that spring is probably the best season here.
Pernille shifts her gaze to look at Magda. She looks so peaceful with her eyes closed, soaking up the heat of the sun.
Pernille turns her body and lifts her legs so they now rest on Magda’s lap. Magda slowly opens her eyes and smiles in her direction. Without a word, Magda promptly starts massaging Pernille’s swollen ankles.
It’s moments like these that having a long distance relationship in the past that has made her learn to appreciate even the most mundane moments. Right now she is doing just that. Especially since when the babies come it won’t be just them anymore.
Pernille feels the babies moving around again and softly lays her hand on top of one of Magda’s hands that is massaging her feet. She moves Magda’s hand to her own stomach so she can feel the babies movements.
Pernille is used to this, but the babies are usually most active when Magda is at training, so Magda doesn’t get to experience a lot of this.
She keeps her eyes trained on Magda’s face so that she can observe every facial expression that crosses her face. Her eyes seemingly flutter at every movement with a smile always pinned on her lips.
“They're amazing.” Magda finally says. “You’re amazing.”
“So are you.” Pernille responds. And she really means it. Magda has been so good through all of this that even in the moments she does feel scared, Magda cures that.
Magda rises from her spot next to Pernille and Pernille feels the loss of Magda next to her. “I’ll be right back.”
After a moment, Magda appears back through the door, now carrying a book.
“I bought this after practice yesterday.” Magda says, proudly waving the book. “We didn’t buy any books yet and I figured we’d better get some.”
Pernille smiles and she’s sure nothing could wipe it off of her face.
“Magda.” Pernille says emphasize the a in her name.
Magda sits back down next to Pernille and crouches down so her face is close to Pernilles stomach. She leans in and gives it a smooch. “Momma’s gonna read you guys a book, okay? So quiet down in there.”
“In the great green room. There was a telephone. And a red balloon. And a picture of a cow jumping over the moon.” Magda starts and Pernille feels her heart flutter in her chest. She’s overcome with so much love and emotion. She doesn’t know if it’s the pregnancy hormones or just the tremendous amount of love that she feels right now, but she feels tears start to roll down her face.
“Baby what’s wrong?” Magda urgently questions when she realizes that Pernille is crying.
“No, no, I’m fine.” Pernille laughs despite the tears that continue to fall. “I’m just so so happy. And I love you so much.”
“And our babies.” She says after a moment, moving her hands onto her stomach.
“Me too.” Magda says, placing her hands over Pernille’s, after kissing her on the cheek. Magda brushes her hand against Pernille's face and wipes away her tears.
“I’m just so happy.” Pernille says and Magda sits all the way up so she can properly kiss her.
Their lips lock as their hands remain together on Pernilles stomach.
She doesn’t know if it’s the hormones or if it’s because it’s getting late in the pregnancy, but Pernille wakes up in a terrible mood. Her body aches and she feels like she is going to throw up. And with the due date coming closer, her anxiety has increased and she’s scared. So scared.
Even with how sweet Magda is for caring for her, she just wants to be left alone.
“Pi,” Magda says, walking into the kitchen as Pernille is putting away the dishes. “You really shouldn’t be reaching up like that. Here let me do it.”
Magda reaches for the glass and Pernille pulls it away, causing the cup to crash to the floor with a loud crack. “Dammit Magda.”
“How is this my fault? I said I was going to put it away for you.” Magda scolds. She starts to clean up the glass, but Pernille stops her.
“I’ll do it. You’re going to be late for training.” Pernille snaps. “I’m not a baby. You don’t need to help me with every single thing.”
Magda’s face falls and without a word she grabs her bag and storms out the door.
Pernille immediately wants to take back what she said. She loves Magda and loves how helpful she’s been, but her nerves have caused her to lash out. And if she’s honest her body really hurts today.
“Magda I…” Pernille starts, but she’s already gone.
She hates that she lashed out at Magda when she should have just told her how she is feeling, but that’s too late now, so she puts all her energy into cleaning up the glass.
Halfway through, she sends Magda a text telling her that she’s sorry and that they should talk when she gets home.
About 30 minutes later, she’s finally just finished putting the last bit of glass into the garbage, when she feels a sharp pain in her stomach. It isn’t the normal pain she usually gets when one of the twins kick too hard.
The sharp pain hits her again and this time she falls to the floor with a scream. “Ahh.”
She tries to get up but the pains too much so she just lays there on the floor.
She looks around trying to locate her phone, but it’s halfway across the kitchen floor. Shit. She must have knocked it off of the counter after her fall.
The babies. Oh no the babies. She can’t lose them. She’ll be destroyed. Magda will be destroyed. But, oh the pain, she thinks as another sharp pain hits. It’s unbearable.
She should have listened to Magda. Why didn’t she just listen to Magda?
After a while either the pain has seemed to get better or she has gotten used to it. Pernille is able to sit up on the floor. Sighing, she closes her eyes and leans against the cupboards waiting for Magda to get home.
It was a short training in the gym today, so Magda wasn’t gone too long, but her annoyance towards Pernille has faded. She can't stay mad at her wife who also happens to be carrying their children.
Magda won’t lie, she has been micromanaging Pernille a little bit, but she can’t help it. She just wants to do what's best for her.
Magda reads Pernilles text as she is walking up to the door of their home. She knows realistically that Pernille probably didn’t really mean what she said, that doesn’t make it okay though. And intellectually she knows that Pernille is going through changes that she can’t even imagine and she’s probably scared. And if Magda is honest so is she.
She opens the door, prepared to apologize and make up. She loves Pernille and their babies and one little fight can’t change that. “Hey babe, I’m home.”
“Babe.” She calls again.
“I got your text and I’m sorry too. I know we are both anxious and…” She cuts herself off as her eyes scan the scene in front of her.
“What… What are you doing on the floor?” She laughs, more out of confusion than anything.
Magda notices Pernille wince in pain and stops laughing.
“Oh my God. Pernille are you okay?” A thousand thoughts race through Magda’s head, none of them good.
“Um yeah.” Pernille finally says and Magda sighs with relief. “Well I don’t know. It hurts a lot and I can’t get up and it’s not because I’m clumsily this time.”
Pernille lets out a little laugh, but Magda can see she’s really in a lot of pain.
“Here let me help you up.” Magda bends down and puts one of her arms around Pernille and lifts her up off of the ground. “Let’s get you to the hospital.”
“Okay, so the good news is Pernille is going to be okay.” The doctor says coming into the hospital room. Magda is seated on a chair next to Pernille, holding her hand. At first when Pernille told her how much pain she was in Magda felt like it was her fault. If she hadn't pushed so hard maybe this wouldn't have happened.
“And the babies?” Magda says urgently.
“They are fine.” She answers. “With twins, there are often complications during pregnancy and this can cause premature labor, but I don’t think this is the case. Her water hasn’t broken, so it looks like this is just Braxton Hicks. In other terms, this basically means that the pain Pernille is feeling is like real contractions, but they are considered false labor pains. Meaning she is not in labor. Pernille should be able to carry the twins close to term, but because of the higher risk with the twins I am going to have her remain on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy to prevent further complications.”
“Okay.” Magda lets out with a relieved sigh.
“It’s going to be alright Magda.” The doctor says, placing a hand on Magda’s shoulder before leaving the room to give them some space to talk.
“Pernille don’t ever do that again, you scared me.” Magda presses a soft kiss to Pernilles cheek. She lifts her head, but Pernille stops her, putting her hands to Magdas face.
“It was just a little pain.” Pernille says looking Magda straight in the eyes.
Magda gives her a look and Pernille rolls her eyes jokingly.
“I won’t. And I’m sorry I didn’t listen, I should have listened and been grateful for all that you have been doing for me.”
“No, no. I shouldn’t have been so pushy.”
“No you should have.” Pernille says. “And you weren't pushy. You did all the right things. Caring for me, making me rest. It's what I'm supposed to be doing. I love you so much. I should have just told you how I was feeling.”
“No it's not. I’m…” Pernille stutters. “I’m scared okay. That’s why I was pushing you away this morning.”
Magda laughs and quickly corrects herself once she notices Pernille’s hurt face. “You don’t think I’m scared too?”
“I mean… you scared?”
“Yes, I’m scared. I’m scared that I won’t be able to protect you and our kids, that I’ll do the wrong thing? Just everything.” Magda says. “That’s why I’ve been a little too helpful.”
“I’m starting to realize that maybe being scared is a good thing. Maybe that's what makes you a parent.” Pernille says out loud, but Magda thinks it’s more to herself.
“And I like that you’ve been helpful, but really I can’t even help put away one cup?” Pernille laughs and a second later Magda joins in.
A few days later, when they are back at home Magda gets up early once again and makes breakfast in bed for Pernille. And this time when she brings in the breakfast for Pernille, she doesn’t complain. And Magda just smiles, overcome with excitement. They are so ready to be parents.