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"So, do you come here often"

"If you did I definitely would." Mike ‘gay very high’ Morton said, winking with his extremely heavy purple eye makeup that Luca said would make him look very attractive. Though it looked as heavy as multiple Hasturs and perhaps a few cipher machines as well, yes it was definitely working.

Honestly he didn’t know what to say about the makeup though; to say it looked like it was done by an extremely unfashionable middle-aged woman would be inaccurate, and it was far too heavy to look like a drag queen’s makeup (does a man with limp arms and probably a little whack state of mind count as a middle aged woman? Maybe a karen would be better described). All he knew was Luca Balsa should be fucking banned from ever touching that darned makeup palette ever again, his makeup rights were straightup revoked.

Victor takes a deep breath, glancing at the shorter blonde with dead eyes. "Sir, this is still a mcdonalds. Can I please just take your order."

“Calm down cysta! It’s only 2!” Mike dramatically flaunts his polished nails that were probably done at some cheap yet quote unquote fancy nail parlour at the corner of the street. Victor sighed as he glanced at the clock. It’s fucking 2am, not some 2pm shit. He thought to himself, trying to think of good things. Snuggling with Wick and his non-existent lover who was in the shape of a body pillow and perhaps hot chocolate.

But looking at the annoying vsco customer who was going ‘skskskssks’ made him remember how worn-out his body pillow was, and how he would accidentally add too much cocoa powder into his hot chocolate, making it too bitter. Then he would have to use more sugar. Then he would have to buy more sugar. Then he would go broke and starve on his minimum wage. He felt sad. He wanted to cry. Thus, he sat down and hugged his knees and started crying harder than Norton’s dick could ever be, like the disappointment in life he was.

Naib subedar, lone survivor of the tragic accident 12 years ago when a man stole his premium star wars light saber beam at kawaii Con 2012 sighed, staring at the French fry man who lied down sobbing on the floor. He spit out the cigarette that netease stole from Recluse Eli and took a long hard glare at the somehow open window next to the counter, narrating. "Why are we here. Just to suffer."

"Excuse me can I have one order Of a better dick please." Norton waltzed into the mcdonalds like he owned the place and casually ordered. He wasn't sure if this Was the mcdonalds he owned since Aesop burned down the last one after he found out he was fucking Eli at the same dumpster he fucked Aesop at but who cares. "While we're at it-- hey waiter snap out of it. If you don't I'll call your bloody manager."

Oh lord, someone please save Victor from the Karens around him as he cried on the ground before someone slammed the door to the mcdonald’s open, and it was Victor’s one and only fear: his manager.

“I would like to speak to the manager!” Norton so-called kindly requested (but we know Karens can't do that in the face of someone who works in a public place, for they never learnt how to respect an inch of a person ever, and were privileged white women who probably had wrote something stupid on Tumblr when they were 14 and said they weren’t like other girls. Well they indeed weren’t, not in a good sense anyway.) and the manager grabbed his shoulder, turning the man on

He was just too hot for Norton to handle, for his sharp gaze burnt through Norton’s clothes, making the latter feel like a naked newborn. His eyes twinkled under the gaze, trying to not take note of how buff the manager’s hands were. They were huge, which made Norton realise; it was a sign that the manager was a seme.

“A-Ah, Mr Manager~” Norton could only flutter his fake long lashes as the Manager smirked, showing off an extremely handsome yaranaika face, wooing the broke-ass rat who murdered a shit ton of people for his own gain. To think he could do such a thing, wow, truly amazing. And the two just disappeared like that, never appearing again.

Meanwhile, Mike was a little busy making his 51th apology video of the year when he noticed something odd behind him-- something that looked vaguely like him.

Haha, there's no way it was him. Come on, smile for the camera, film another apology video and gain more subscribers

Before he could reach the part where he started crying with the help of raw onions, Victor jumped and pinned Mike onto the ground, growling at him rather seductively. His hot sexy voice blew air into the shorter man's ear and whispered, "I've had enough dealing with such annoying customers like you. Maybe it's time for me to show people like you how to behave."

Mike moaned as he watched Victor become a furry before his very eyes. Those sharp sexy claws dug into his waist which made him let out another sexual noise; there was never a situation that made him feel as much of a bottom as now yet he still enjoyed it. "O-oh daddy~~ please take me~~~ I-I'll be a good boy just for daddy~~~~"

“Uh ok,” Victor growled before he started spitting on Mike constantly, humiliating the Karen beneath him. He spit so much that Mike’s makeup started to wear off, revealing all those layers of foundation and bb cream that Mike used to hide how fake this clown was. Mike started to cry now; he spent so much on those layers of makeup, thinking he’d finally attract Clown-senpai, but instead, they were all washed away by some stupid furry’s spit at a mcdonald’s parking lot.

"P-please. I-I can't take it anymore-- Ah~~~" The clown with a thousand layers of foundation, sunscreen and bb cream and i really don't know anymore, i don't even use makeup moaned. Those french fries hair was in between his Legs and giving Him a good eating out like Victor had never ate before, which might have been true since he skipped eating all together for 2 years dealing with the Karens that constantly bothered him. His tongue that was used to being bitten to hold back his poisonous words to get his very low minimum wage salary check was no longer being held back and was used to teach Mike the lesson he deserved and craved so badly.

On the other side, Naib was taking his time smoking his cigarette like some cool dude when suddenly, an explosion happened in front of him. He gasped, shielding his eyes from the hot fiery blast but felt something soft land on his head. IT WAS MIKE’S LAYERS OF MAKEUP!!!!

"YO WHAT THE SHIT-" his hands desperately tried to tear off the makeup from him but it was no use. The makeup spread onto everywhere inside and outside of him, making him turn into mister deduction equipped with those incredibly sexy leather gucci gloves that naib could never afford.

'This new outfit has turned you into a magical girl!' The game announced. 'You may now partake in the tutorial!'

"What the fuck--"

'No excuses! Now you are a magical girl.'

Now Naib remembered why one of his traits was shell shocked.

Grasping the pipe in his hand, he finally could have power, power enough to destroy his arch-nemesis, the one and only Recluse, who had been resurrected by the furry when he kept spitting on Mike’s fake ass makeup off his face. Twirling around, the corpses dug out of their graves and helped Naib fly high into the sky with their bone that turned bare from overworking, making friends as he went on like in every magical girl show ever, teaming up to defeat the final boss with the power of friendship, love, hope and dreams and capitalism.

The end.(?)










Andrew sat at the back of the mcdonalds watching everything happen. He took a glance at furry victor pounding into melting mike, the tv broadcasting news about some two men having public sex on the top of the streets and Naib's magical adventure to becoming a magical girl.

He took a deadpan look to the camera like he was in The Office™ before biting into his fillet o' fish without tartar sauce given to him minutes before all this happened.

"I don't come here often."