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re:Birth

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            “Yggdra—”

            …Oh.
            I call out to her.
            I call out her given name in a pitiful voice without meaning to.

            She stops for just a moment, and then smiles.
            “—It’s all right, Roswell.”

            With those words.
            She reaches out to the energy pouring from the Grail, and I can feel it connect to her will.
            It will answer her if it is able.

            Before I can do anything.
            There is a great light that takes my vision away, and the ground rumbles ceaselessly beneath me as if to steal my senses—

 

            …
            ……
            ………

            “Hm—ah.”

            …My head is muddled.
            My head is filled with mist and not working properly.
            Distant events jumble in my mind and keep me confused even as I wake up.

            …When I open my eyes.
            There’s a troublesome girl giggling at me from the other side of the bed.

            “—”
            Ahh.
            …There’s an overwhelming kind of relief that I wasn’t merely dreaming.
            An ache that feels like being stabbed through the chest.

            To make her shut up, I reach for her.
            I cover up her smiling mouth with my own in a good-morning kiss.
            She makes soft contented noises against me and reaches out to play her hands along my naked back, tugging insistently.
            She could pull me with her own strength if she really wanted to, but she’s content just to invite, and I’m glad.
            …It wasn’t too long ago that those things happened, and I’m undergoing what a certain magus like an uppity cat calls “trauma therapy for idiots”.
            The main part of it that the people around me are supposed to take part in is to be especially careful about my consent for a while.

            Well, she’s pulling at me.
            It’s not like she won’t take no for an answer, but the movements of her hands are like a child whining, and I’m not opposed.
            I move over and cover her body with mine, and she winds white limbs around me and sighs as our bodies link and combine.

            My anxiety vanishes quickly.
            …I can feel her with my entire body.
            It feels good when we touch, it hurts when she scratches or bites, and my muscles ache when I strain them.
            This is real.
            We take our time and love each other for hours, unwilling to leave the bed.

            “—”
            Well, we can’t just do that forever.

            Still, it’s already about noon when I get up to go shower off my sweat, and when I return to the bedroom, the large bed is vacant.
            She left it unmade for me, and the sheets are not only still warm with her body heat but are damp with our sweat.
            I sigh and undo the coverings of the bed.
            We must always consider body soil when it comes to health.

            When I get downstairs, she’s already in the kitchen.
            “—”
            As usual.
            She knows how to distract me and by now she almost always makes breakfast by herself.
            She recently learned various ways to prepare eggs and tries out different ones every morning.
            Today’s seem to be baked rather than fried, and the popping oil on the stove comes from French toast in a frying pan.

            …Yggdra is so beautiful bustling around the kitchen that I just want to walk into the room to wrap my arms around her and cry.

            It’s pleasantly warm in the house, as we have the air conditioner working just slightly.
            The sky outside the window is gray and I have only just recognized the pattering outside as the sound of rain.

            It is July.
            It has been several months since then.

            In that place, the world shook and became so bright that I nearly lost consciousness.

            And when the rumbling stopped, I was so afraid that Yggdra would be gone when I opened my eyes that I couldn’t lift my head.
            …I couldn’t even move until she embraced me.

            …Yes.
            Yggdra is here.
            Not as my familiar, but as a complete being granted physical form by bathing in the energy of the Holy Grail.
            Her body is filled with power, and as long as she rests well she is even still capable of using her Noble Phantasm from time to time.

            …I don’t know why she chose to remain here instead of having her wish fulfilled.
            I don’t know why, but…

            These days.
            These days that are filled with myself and Yggdra, Vienya and Ein and Rose all living in the same town and cooperating with each other under the direction of the young lady Tohsaka who owns this land—

            These days are so filled with joy that I can still hardly believe in them.

            In the kitchen, Yggdra seems to be finished with breakfast.
            She places eggs, toast, hash browns, and bacon onto two plates and carries them to the table with a proud expression.
            …The pile of plates and pans in the sink will likely be my task later, but I’m weak against her and can’t really complain even when she causes trouble for me.

            “Thank you for the food.”
            Everything has been cooked wonderfully.
            …After everything ended, Yggdra attacked cookbooks with a slightly terrifying fervor.
            She is really serious about this.
            It’s the most fun when we do things together.
            And even though we work every day with the other magi of this town to protect it and to promote peace, that still leaves at least half the day to live together and do whatever we want.

            So Yggdra has accumulated albums, leaves my room a mess when we wake up, makes me wash dishes and buy things for her and ambushes me in the bath for sex.
            And I’m bewildered by it all, but I can’t complain.
            There’s no way I could possibly complain.

            …This is a dream that I was too afraid to even pray for during the war.

            I finish off the perfectly fluffy eggs and sit back.
            Yggdra is looking at me with a smile like she wants me to praise her.

            “—Yggdra.”
            …I’ve been wanting to ask why for all this time.
            But.
            I always lose courage at the last moment and falter.

            “—”
            She stands up.
            …Yggdra stands up and walks over to me.
            I push my chair back as if to meet her halfway, but she just sits down on my lap.

            “—”
            She’s close.
            …I still haven’t completely gotten used to her presence, and she’s really close.

            Quietly.
            Yggdra wraps her arms around me like she knows what I’m thinking.
            “—”
            I just hold her.
            …Maybe I’m still afraid that she’s going to disappear somewhere.
            She’s too much for me, and I couldn’t stop her if she wanted to leave.
            I guess I’m just anxious.
            …These days are too happy and I worry that they’re going to vanish.

            “—Roswell.
            “When you called out to me that time, I thought of something.”
            Yggdra says so as she holds me tightly.
            She says so in a very calm and gentle voice.
            “I want peace.
            “More than anything, I want a peaceful world.
            “—But I do want it to come about by my own hands.
            “And if I’m going to work for that personally instead of just wishing—then I want to do that with you at my side.”

            Simple, very kind words.
            …It’s a rainy summer day like any other.
            Yggdra continues to hold me, and I’ll hold her.

            Tomorrow will surely be sunny.
            And we’ll have work to do when this weather clears up.
            So for as long as the rain falls, all there is to do is enjoy each other’s company.
            We can play together, love each other, and argue about chores.
            …Yggdra’s will is very strong.
            She ran through the battlefield, and so she will surely run through her new life with equal fervor, and I’ll wind up pulled along behind her as she goes.
            …But there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
            It’s the future that I’ve desired more than anything else.

            In a moment.
            …In a moment we’ll let go of each other and then bicker about who’s going to do the dishes this morning.
            But for now—
            For now I hold the girl that I love tightly.
            As long as she’ll have me, I’ll never let go of her.
            So we sit together, and I comfort myself by breathing in her scent.

            There’s a faint scent of flowers in her hair.
            I think that this is her shampoo, as her perfume is scented like butterfly flower.
            Faintly, the air of lilies and a brightness like the smell of summer suffuses her.

            …Together.
            I can face anything as long as I have her.
            And so we’ll race into the future awaiting us, together—