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all of my days

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Hinata wakes up first, as usual, even though it’s supposed to be his and Kageyama’s day off - the first one in weeks, where neither of them have practice or interviews scheduled. 

He considers getting up to get started on breakfast, but one look at the time tells him that it’s still way too early for that. Hinata’s always been a morning person but his life-long rival recently turned husband is the complete opposite when it comes to sleeping habits. Particularly on the days they don’t have practice, Kageyama won’t even open his eyes until nine a.m.. Getting him out of bed later on is a different matter altogether. 

So Hinata doesn't really feel like getting up to make food that he’ll end up eating by himself and one look at the slumbering form of his partner suddenly makes him reluctant to move at all. He knows he’s gonna start feeling restless soon and itch to get the day started, but until then he can enjoy this quiet moment. It’s still such a rare treat to get to watch Tobio like this. 

Tobio’s hair is tousled in a way that nearly covers his eyes, and his left cheek is squished adorably against the pillow. But it’s the peaceful expression on his face that really gets to Hinata. How different he looks like this from his daily life. Although that’s not quite true anymore. 

These days, it’s much easier to pull smiles from Kageyama. Gone are the Kageyama and Hinata who breathed to prove their worth on the court, desperation clinging to them each step of the way. These days, their lives are filled with lighter feelings, desperation replaced with a sense of accomplishment and renewed vigour to soar to new heights together. A partnership that soothes as much as it challenges and a companionship that blooms daily. 

They moved in together about a month ago. Got married two weeks ago. Their friends’ and teammates’ vocal complaints about ‘eloping so suddenly’ without any proper celebrations did subside after a while, replaced with heartfelt congratulations instead, well, as much heartfelt as it’s possible to get out of Tsukishima anyway. 

All things considered there is not much of a change for Hinata and Kageyama, who are merrily back to spending most of their time together. Hinata broke the news to his mother and Natsu over a video call and their elated cries of joy made even Kageyama who typically tends to turn into a stuttering mess around his family, offer his warmest smile and a promise to visit soon. There is not much of a change in the way her mother treats her now official son-in-law either. Kageyama is still Tobio kun to her, and Shouyou is still Shouyou: entirely beloved and always missed. 

Hinata is still Hinata even as he officially started his training for the men’s national volleyball team of Japan. And Kageyama is still Kageyama, the one person Hinata looks up to the most and who he finally beat fair and square in a match. 

Hinata’s thoughts bring his attention back to his sleeping partner and he can’t help reaching to brush Kageyama’s messy fringe off his forehead with a small smile. Kageyama must be really exhausted if he hasn’t even started grumbling about food in his sleep yet. That means he’s likely to opt to stay in bed all morning even once awake. It has been a rough couple of weeks, he supposes, too many things happening at once and leaving much to get used to. And Kageyama stayed up with him last night to clean up the place a little (busy or not Hinata knew something had to be done when he couldn’t find his jersey in any of the multiple piles of clothing in their room) even though he’d already got home late from practice. 

Yeah, Kageyama is well within his rights to indulge in some long overdue rest. In fact, Hinata muses, the inklings of a wonderful idea beginning to form in his head, he may have put a hold on breakfast, but their favourite bakery a few blocks away should be open already. Hinata could easily make a dash for it and back before his husband wakes up. It would make for a good morning exercise and he could get them coffee. Maybe even some fresh baked goods - yakitate - if they have any ready. Hinata smiles to himself giddily. Who’s to say he can’t pamper his own husband whenever he wants now? 

Motivated, he wills himself out of the warmth of their bed (not before pressing a parting kiss to Kageyama’s shoulder) and sets out to get ready. He wants to do this quickly, not so much because he doesn’t want to risk Kageyama waking up and having breakfast without him, but rather because the idea of Kageyama waking up alone in their new apartment on their first proper holiday...just doesn’t sit right with Hinata. 

Hinata makes a fond exasperated sound in the back of his throat, because he doesn’t think he’s even seen Kageyama actually touch a stove and he’s yet to figure out if his husband is just a really notoriously bad cook or he sincerely believes that living off rice balls and milk would be a perfectly reasonable life choice if Hinata let him. Either way, it’s not a competition at all that currently Hinata is the better (and really the only) cook in the house, but it doesn’t mean that Kageyama doesn’t help every time Hinata sets out to cook something. He’s surprisingly good with instructions and maneuvering himself around Hinata from years of practice, and he always does the dishes afterwards. 

With Kageyama still sound asleep, Hinata takes his time stretching before quietly making his way out. The new apartment they got is bigger than their respective former ones combined and far better equipped. There are still a few half-opened unpacked boxes placed around the apartment, despite Hinata and Kageyama spending all of the previous evening cleaning, but still a dramatic improvement from the devastating state the place was in two days ago. 

There are piles of clothes stacked halfhazardely on the laundry basket and in open drawers to be organized and put away later and at a glance Hinata can’t even tell which stuff is whose. 

It’s all still very messy, definitely messier than any place Hinata’s ever lived in. 

But it is also a lot more like home.  

 


 

The chill of the spring morning still clings to him as Hinata makes his way back into the apartment with paper bags in one hand and twin coffee cups balanced in the other and is not surprised to find Kageyama still fast asleep. He huffs fondly as he gets rid of his street clothes. Kageyama hasn’t even moved an inch since the time he left and he looks utterly at peace in his slumber.

Hinata smirks. 

He promptly crawls back into bed beside Kageyama and tucks his wind-chilled face into the hollow of Kageyama’s neck, feeling him gasp and jerk against him. “It’s cold.” Hinata whispers and to be especially mean - “You should warm me up, Kageyama kun!”

Kageyama whines his annoyance into the pillow and gropes drowsily in the vague direction of where Hinata is, but gives up after a few seconds, slumping back onto the bed. “G’away.” he growls, about as frightening as a newborn kitten and Hinata has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing. Somehow, he doesn’t think he’ll live that one down. 

Hinata snuggles closer, making sure to press a few obnoxiously loud kisses along his husband’s jawline in apology. “There’s coffee, sleepyhead.” 

Kageyama’s eyes blink open slowly, and there it is, just as dangerous and beautiful, the full glory of half-awake Kageyama. Looking grumpier and more worn out than usual, but then he seems to inhale the sweet aroma of the coffee, and despite the drowsiness his eyes immediately snap to the bedside table where the treats Hinata brought were placed on. 

“I got cupcakes, too.” Hinata says lightly with a note of laughter in his voice and reaches to take one of the paper cups, “And some of that pandan cake you like.” 

Kageyama only blinks at him slowly a few times and makes grabby hands for the warm cup Hinata’s holding. Their fingers barely brush as Kageyama takes it carefully, inhales the rich smell of his favourite coffee once again, eyelashes fluttering, and takes a deep sip. Hinata blames the sudden weakness in his knees on his empty stomach. 

Then Kageyama has the audacity to turn that pleased half-lidded gaze to him, quite literally pinning him in place, and Hinata watches helplessly as Kageyama reaches for Hinata’s hand, drawing it closer to his face until chapped lips are pressing to the inside of Hinata’s wrist.  

“Good?” Hinata asks, voice cracking. 

Kageyama only hums, taking two more sips before his attention returns to Hinata, and Hinata can only let out a startled wheeze of a breath as Kageyama, without any warning, pulls on Hinata’s wrist still in his grasp, effectively toppling him fully onto the bed. Hinata watches, surprise slowly melting into mild amusement as Kageyama backs him against the headboard and then unceremoniously plops himself down on him, his back now reclined against Hinata’s chest. 

“What, don’t want me to go away anymore?”

“Shut up.” Kageyama says with no heat, busy trying to wrap Hinata’s arms around himself. Hinata hides his stupid grin against Kageyama’s shoulder while the latter arranges them to his liking. Once satisfied, Kageyama turns to look at him, and Hinata is quick to wipe the smirk off his face. “Stay with me?”

Hinata has to take a few steadying breaths before he finds his voice, because yes, he is officially married to the most ridiculous person on Earth. Someone who snores loudly and drools on his pillow every night and regularly gives him heart attacks by saying the sweetest things.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Hinata says softly and makes himself comfortable under the blankets, finally settling to nurse his own cup of coffee, almost left forgotten. Who is he to deny his husband anything? He’s suddenly thankful for his foresight to change back into comfortable home-clothes for he really doubts he’d have had the willpower to rip himself away from Kageyama for a change of clothes of all things. They finish their coffees in comfortable silence and eventually lie back down, on their sides this time, facing each other. 

When the light catches softly on his gold ring - the one Hinata gave to him - Kageyama looks at his hand and his sleep-soft eyes turn reverent, and Hinata can’t resist reaching out to him. Their fingers find each other on top of the covers and Hinata moves closer still, pressing against Kageyama’s side so that their legs are also tangled under the blankets. Kageyama’s breath hitches and Hinata can’t help but smile to himself. It’s good to know that he’s not the only one still not quite used to this. He can feel Kageyama’s warm breaths against the side of his face and he lets the sensation lull him into a state of utter calm, feeling his eyelids start to droop. Being cozy with Kageyama like this is almost always guaranteed to make him feel sleepy.

“I don’t know where I’d be without you.” A confession, breathed whisper soft against orange hair so quietly Hinata would’ve missed it were they not pressed so close to each other and Hinata snaps into full wakefulness almost immediately.

“Tobio.” Hinata murmurs, stroking a soothing hand along Kageyama’s back and feels himself relax a little when Kageyama leans into his touch. “Where did this come from?” 

He watches Tobio’s face twist into a deep frown which Hinata recognizes as his thinking one, but his eyes are glazed over with a kind of resigned longing that makes worry curl, cold and ugly in the pit of his chest.

Did something happen? Did anyone say anything to him? About him. If it’s another stupid article, Hinata will - 

“It’s nothing bad.” Kageyama huffs against him as if sensing his unease. His face goes through a series of complicated expressions before he says quietly, “Remember when I hurt my ankle in second year and couldn’t practice for a while? I was so frustrated I’d have just locked myself in the whole weekend if you hadn’t come pestering me -”

Now it’s Hinata’s turn to frown. “ Hey -”

“You wouldn’t go away until I let you in.” Kageyama continues, undeterred but reaches for Hinata’s hand to appease him. “You’d brought video games. I yelled at you to stop wasting time and go practice with the others but you stayed anyway.” 

Hinata’s lips curve into a warm smile at the memory, “We played all day and I won almost every round. You tried to kick me out again for that.”

“You deserved that.” Kageyama tells him seriously and ignores the indignant noise Hinata makes in favour of pressing their foreheads together. “I guess what I’m saying is you’re pretty good at making me feel better even when I don’t know that I need it. Whether it's by bugging me all day or waking up early to get me my favourite coffee and pastries.”

Hinata is momentarily stunned into silence. “Tobio…”

But Kageyama isn’t done talking apparently even as embarrassed pink dusts his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

“Every day since the day I met you in Karasuno, you’ve made my life so happy.” Kageyama says, eyes averted and Hinata’s heart stops. “I just - I hope you know that.” 

The air in his lungs leaves him all in a rush and Hinata’s not sure if he wants to cry or laugh from utter elation.

“Gosh.” Hinata murmurs, eyes bright and wondrous as he brushes his fingertips across Kageyama’s red cheeks helplessly. “You’re so.” He trails off, overwhelmed and opts to tug Kageyama into a clumsy but nevertheless sweet kiss instead. They both draw apart with matching gasps and before Kageyama’s recovered from his surprise, eyes still a little lost with pleasure, Hinata ploughs on, “What has brought this on?”

Kageyama pouts, seemingly dissatisfied that he’s being asked to talk instead of carrying on with the kissing. Kageyama is not an especially talkative person in the mornings, is essentially dead to the world until he’s gone for his morning run and had breakfast, so such a degree of vulnerability this early on in of itself is one for the record books. 

Hinata glides his hand soothingly up and down Kageyama’s arm a few times, and then rests it against the side of Kageyama’s neck, a touch meant to ground. Kageyama’s scrunched up face relaxes noticeably.

“Nothing.” Kageyama says at last. “Everything’s just been happening so fast. The match, the apartment, this…” He curls the fingers of his left hand almost subconsciously, cheeks going pink. “Even though we didn’t have a ceremony or anything, you still had this amazing speech prepared when proposing and I just... needed you to know.”

There goes Kageyama, again. Saying things that make Hinata’s heart perform some involuntary acrobatics in his chest. 

“Tobio, I do know.” Hinata says and the words come off Hinata’s tongue as easily as breathing when he adds, “I love you.”

It takes the weight in his chest with them, but he feels worry crawl in his throat at Kageyama’s oddly amazed expression. It’s true that everything’s been progressing all too quickly after Hinata’s return from Brazil and this fervent thing between them has only recently been properly addressed and given an official name too. And while Hinata knows that the novelty of professing their feelings has hardly worn off, he also knows that Kageyama should never, never ever look so floored when reminded of Hinata’s love. 

In the wash of the morning light Kageyama always looks painfully beautiful curled in the blankets on their bed, but suddenly, in this new light, Hinata can see it all. The circles under his eyes and the start of stubble on his chin which typically never goes untended to by the setter. Even the pandan cake that Kageyama would’ve normally scarfed down within seconds of setting his eyes upon, has remained there untouched all this time. Kageyama loves pandan cake. Suddenly, Hinata realizes two things. One, Kageyama is hurting. Has probably been hurting since even before their moving, while he put on a brave face for Hinata who’s been in seventh heaven, excited in equal amounts about getting to finally be with Kageyama and having recently been recruited for the national team. 

Hinata didn’t even realize. He’s gotten so much better at reading Kageyama’s red flags for anxiety, and he didn’t notice . Simply accounted Kageyama being more agreeable than usual to all these changes taking place. Between the match against the Adlers, the rushed proposal, Hinata starting his practice with the national team and them moving in together, they barely had a chance to talk to each other. It must’ve only added to Kageyama’s stress. It all happened too fast for either of them to fully keep up with. It happened way too fast for Kageyama who needs a certain amount of reassurance on all matters except volleyball for him to keep his footing firm. Hinata can picture Kageyama’s mental process almost too vividly now, him slowly feeding himself with old insecurities in quiet moments by himself until he was rushing full steam ahead into a twister hurricane of anxiety. 

Two, Hinata must be careful. Instinctively, he wants to gather Kageyama in his arms and tell him, in great detail, how much he loves him, and then smother him with praise until this anxiety spell is in the past. But that’s not how it works. Not with them. Kageyama isn’t the kind of person who appreciates direct confrontation of his feelings, and doing so will only result in Kageyama drawing away from him. Kageyama will either think Hinata is coddling him, or faking his sympathy thus only fueling Kageyama’s fears.

Lightly , lightly, he must approach this lightly. 

“You’re thinking too much.” Hinata murmurs beside him, lips warm at the nape of Kageyama’s neck. Under the blankets he shifts to drape his arm across Kageyama’s waist protectively. He teases, “You’ll give yourself a headache.” 

Kageyama ignores the quip. 

“You’re thinking, too.” Kageyama says quietly, almost accusingly, but Hinata knows him inside and out by now. Can tell how terrified he is behind the feigned nonchalance. 

“I am thinking.” Hinata confirms, while combing gentle fingers through Kageyama’s bed hair, all the while Kageyama watches him silently, face grim waiting for a heartbreaking blow that never comes, “I’m thinking how to convince you to let me teach you cook at least one proper dish, so you don’t accidentally starve yourself when I’m away for games.” 

His answer is unexpected enough to startle a surprised laugh out of Kageyama. Hinata’s useless heart flutters in response. 

“Shut up! I’m proficient!” Kageyama protests. 

Spoilt is what you are.” Hinata says, and then adds incredulously, “but seriously I stress about what you’re eating, like, all the time. You can’t just have onigiri for every meal.” 

“Are you complaining, husband ?” Kageyama husks out and Hinata is relieved to hear that the uncharacteristic fear in Kageyama’s voice has almost entirely been replaced with warm affection. 

“Never. Husband.” Hinata fires back and doesn’t complain when Kageyama musses his hair up, cause soon he’s darting in to kiss that self-satisfied grin he adores right off his partner’s face. 

They kiss for a while, cocooned in the warmth of their blankets and each other, and when they draw apart Kageyama looks even smugger with his flushed cheeks and wide smile and half-lidded eyes - 

And Hinata is not sure why he even bothers at this point. Surely Kageyama must know how terribly Hinata adores him. Cooking abilities or not.

As for his partner’s knack for overthinking -

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Hinata says, lacing their fingers together, the sight of Kageyama’s gold ring is still a novel enough addition that the feel of it alone against his curled fingers fills his chest with warmth. “Whatever’s bothering you. Or not bothering you. That’s what I’m here for.” 

Kageyama doesn’t answer verbally. But Hinata’s inclined to take the soft sigh and brush of lips against his cheek as a sign of agreement. Kageyama’s eyes are still sparkling in that too-pleased way that makes Hinata swoon on a normal day, and which Hinata hates to be the one to ruin it now but this - them - is too important. He turns a little so he can cup his husband’s face in his hands to keep his attention, but also can’t resist squishing Tobio’s cheeks playfully. 

Kageyama gives him a hard, narrow-eyed look then, and okay, maybe he sort of deserves it.

“We weren’t that good at talking back in school.” Hinata says, and Kageyama’s face turns carefully blank, guarded, “But we’ve gotten so much better at it, ‘Yama. We wouldn’t have made it this far if we hadn’t. So you’ve got nothing to worry about, okay? We’re good. You’re so good.” Kageyama closes his eyes and nods to himself. Letting Hinata’s words ground him. 

“Okay.” Kageyama says quietly, finally placated. He reaches out to loop his arms over Hinata’s shoulders and cup the back of Hinata’s head, pulling him in close. “I...didn’t want to worry you with this.”

“How long has this been going on?” 

“I think since the day we had dinner with Romero san? We were talking about trying for foreign leagues in the future and it was something stupid, you probably don’t even remember saying it -”

“What did I say?”

“It’s no -”

“No, tell me .” Hinata says, voice steely. “Tell me, so next time I’ll know better.” 

Kageyama takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. It’s so rare these days for him to need to reign in his temper and not close himself off the second he feels someone getting too close. Kageyama has already made himself more open than he’s comfortable with for the sake of their relationship and Hinata itches to reach out to him in comfort. 

Finally, Kageyama nods to himself, resolved. “You said that you weren’t worried about either of us playing in a foreign league ‘cause the distance wouldn’t matter. I know what you meant but it just stuck,” Kageyama shrugs, picking absentmindedly at the edge of the blanket, “And it kept repeating in my head until I started taking it as you not needing me anymore. Like it wouldn’t affect you at all if we were apart.” 

Hinata’s chest feels all too hollow suddenly, the sting of his misstep making him want to immediately offer comfort and reassurance but - 

He needs to choose his words right, free from the weight of his own feelings. 

“First of all, you’re right about me not meaning it like that. I meant that our bond is stronger than the distance. That our relationship has survived distance before and will again if necessary.” Hinata says, fighting hard to keep the tremble of emotions out of his voice. Kageyama needs something solid to lean on right now, and he will give him that. He waits until Kageyama nods, processing the words before he continues, “Secondly, why would you think that being apart wouldn’t affect me as much as it would affect you? You have to believe me when I say, it absolutely would . We have already been through this once and no matter what happens, I promise you we’ll find a way to be there for each other. Phone, video...doesn’t matter. When I was in Brazil -”

“I missed you the entire time you were in Brazil.” Kageyama says quietly and Hinata actually recoils, would’ve probably fallen off the bed from the force of it if not for Kageyama’s tight grip on him. “I knew it was going to be...hard when you said you wanted to train in another country, but I didn’t want to make it harder on you by saying anything.” Hinata frowns at that and opens his mouth to respond but Kageyama cuts in, “You know I’m right. You looked two seconds away from buying a plane ticket to Japan every time you video chatted with me and the others.” 

“I did not!”

“Did, too! I had to threaten Tsukishima to keep his fucking emotions in check if he wanted to keep joining the group calls.” Hinata suddenly recalls a conversation, at the beginning, hardly a few weeks after his arrival: a strangely quiet Tsukishima who kept rubbing at his eyes and complaining about seasonal allergies, a Kageyama who kept glowering darkly from behind the screen much as he is now and too cheerful Yachi and Yamaguchi doing most of the talking. “Who knew that stupid bastard had any feelings in that shriveled up heart of his.”

Hinata actually laughs at that, and Kageyama snaps his head towards him, having momentarily forgotten himself in the Tsukishima slander. 

Kageyama’s cheeks go pink again and Hinata is endlessly endeared by the sight. A definite improvement from Kageyama looking and sounding like he’s committed the most unforgivable sin of his life by admitting that he’d missed Hinata. 

“Okay. That was really um thoughtful of you but I don’t want you holding back on my account.” Hinata says and his hands go to rub Kageyama’s back again once he feels that they’ve weathered the worst of the storm now. “I missed you like crazy, too. The first month was especially difficult and I wanted to call you, like, all the time but I... felt a bit childish. For missing you so much and wanting to hear your voice because I’d been planning Rio for three years and then it was suddenly real and I hated every moment I wasn’t with you.” 

Kageyama blows out a puff of air and he looks more fierce than Hinata recalls him looking all morning when he says, “It’s not childish, Shouyou.” 

Hinata smiles. 

“I know. But then I got into my routine and you got into yours, so I was definitely not gonna cause any distractions for you - hypocritical I know!” Hinata adds quickly when he sees Kageyama’s raised eyebrow and the expression of silent judgement on his face. “But the distance didn’t scare me as much after that. I knew I was going to work hard and return as quickly as possible. And seeing you doing well in games put my mind at ease. I knew we were gonna make it.”

Hinata lets the words hang in the air between them, giving Kageyama all the time he needs to sort out his thoughts. While he was talking Kageyama’s taken to stroking his fingers through Hinata’s hair, an action meant to soothe himself as much as it is to soothe Hinata. The last of the anxiety has finally started to leave Kageyama’s body: Hinata can see it in the softness of his face without the tension of troubled thoughts hardening it. This close, the dark circles under his eyes look even more pronounced and Hinata strokes over them with careful fingers. Kageyama peers back at him through half-lidded eyes and the barest hint of a smile starts playing on his lips.

“There you are.” Hinata whispers, offering a smile of his own, “How are you feeling?”

“Mhm. Good.” Kageyama says, and then, “Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” Hinata says immediately, “I’m your husband and I want you to be happy.”

Kageyama smiles properly then and Hinata’s breath hitches slightly because he knows at once that the sentiment is returned tenfold. 

He cups Kageyama’s face gently and touches their foreheads together again just letting them breathe in the comfort of each other for a moment.

“We’ll have away games and try for foreign leagues.” Hinata tells him firmly, thumbs stroking at Kageyama’s cheeks, “But this time it’ll be different from Brazil. This time you’ll tell me when you miss me, so I can tell you that I miss you, too. And I’ll probably still make fun of your cooking and tell you that I can’t wait to return to you and cook an actual meal for you. We’ll do better from now on.” 

Kageyama looks at him, eyes twinkling, threatening to steal all the air in Hinata’s lungs and says, “I love you.” Hinata does choke on nothing this time and Kageyama looks only mildly concerned by his dramatics as he explains, “I didn’t say it back earlier, sorry.”

One of these days, Hinata reckons, as he tries to gather his wits together, this man is definitely going to kill him with his unintentional bouts of sweetness. Although, catching the satisfied way Kageyama’s smirking at him, he has to wonder how much of it is actually unintentional.

“Just...just come here, you big oaf.” Hinata grumbles, opening his arms and immediately gathering Kageyama against him. Hinata squeezes his sides in warning when he feels Kageyama’s silent huffs of laughter against his shoulder and when Kageyama looks up at him, his eyes haven’t lost their sparkle at all. 

Hinata loves it when Kageyama looks at him like this.

It’s childish and maybe a little silly. But Hinata is secretly afraid of the day he’ll look at Kageyama and he won’t find him looking back with this overwhelming wonder that tugs at Hinata’s heart and makes him flounder helplessly for words. It is silly and they have only just started the rest of their lives together but Hinata’s afraid of losing this - not Kageyama, but the deep awe in Kageyama’s eyes every time he’s reminded that he gets to keep Hinata in his life forever. The same wonder that is always, unfailingly, reflected in Hinata’s eyes. 

You waited. I chose you and you chose me back and we’re here. 

Hinata jolts slightly in surprise when Kageyama’s stomach rumbles loudly against him and true to form he finds that Kageyama’s already eyeing the bag of pastries on the table with keen interest. 

Or maybe, just maybe, Hinata thinks, hiding a large grin in Kageyama’s hair, he doesn’t have to worry about things changing at all.