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Why Are You Like This?

Summary:

An older Chat Noir shows up in the middle of a class field trip with a special mission for his younger self.

Notes:

This is a gift for the amazing Yunyin, based off of this drawing! One of my favorite pieces of ML fanart :D
Happy birthday, Audrey!

(P.S. Time travel is so weird and confusing to me so I hope this makes sense and if not...the shenanigans are what's most important lol)

ALSO thanks to Boogum and Taliax for being my betas <3

Chapter Text

After being Chat Noir for almost a year, Adrien Agreste was used to the unusual.

He had seen it all: blob monsters, living puppets, reincarnations of ancient pharaohs, giant floating heads. He had even been to space.

In fact, just a few hours before, he had helped Ladybug defeat a supervillain by making the entire Eiffel Tower crumble into dust with just the touch of his hand. And, of course, he was currently carrying around the god of destruction in his jacket pocket (along with a stupid amount of camembert—because any amount of camembert was stupid).

But that was just a typical Tuesday. After you’ve helped Santa Claus himself restore order to Paris, nothing can really surprise you.

Well, maybe one thing.

“Move!” Chat Noir shouted. “Everyone, take cover, now.”

Adrien frantically looked around the museum exhibit as his classmates scattered. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. But if Bunnyx had sent him from the future, there must be something huge going on.

He ran off to find somewhere private to transform, but before he’d made it more than a few steps, a hand gripped his shoulder.

“Not so fast,” said a voice. His voice, but deeper, richer. “We need to talk.”

“Um.” Adrien turned around. “Isn’t there an akuma? Shouldn’t I, you know, hide?” He looked up into his own eyes (which was extremely weird) and tugged on his jacket to hint at his meaning.

“Nope. I need you.” The older Chat Noir scanned the room. “And you too.” He beckoned to Marinette, who was edging around the corner.

Marinette spun around. “Oh! I was just going to—I need—I mean—” She stopped herself and took a breath. “Okay.”

The older Adrien waited until the last stragglers had filtered out of the room. “Listen carefully. The Ladybug of the future sent me. She has a special mission for each of you.”

“Really?” Adrien’s heart stuttered in his chest. Even in the future, Ladybug thought of him? Adrien? Or … maybe she knew his identity and was looking for the younger version of Chat Noir to help? A small bubble of hope rose in his chest. She might know him. And hopefully … he knew her.

Whatever the case, she needed him. And he would never let his lady down.

“Yes, really,” his older self said. “But I need to talk to Marinette first, okay? Privately. Wait for me over by that statue, will you?”

Adrien obeyed, watching Marinette and his older self from the shadow of the statue. Chat Noir was whispering to her urgently, but Adrien couldn’t make out the words. Marinette nodded thoughtfully, and then she seemed to ask a question.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” he whispered to Plagg.

Plagg poked his head out of Adrien’s jacket. “How would I know? And why would I care? I’m sure they’re not talking about cheese, so it can’t be anything that interesting.”

Adrien rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Marinette and Chat Noir. Now that he was just waiting around, he had a chance to study his future self. His hair was shorter than Adrien’s, but his suit looked almost the same. He was tall, Adrien was glad to note. And muscular. He couldn’t keep a smug smile from creeping onto his face. Maybe Ladybug would fall for him later, when he’d grown up. Maybe this version of himself was already with her! Maybe they knew each other’s identities. Maybe—

WHAT?

Adrien jolted out of his reverie at the sound of Marinette’s voice. Her eyes were wide, her mouth hanging open. Chat Noir pressed a finger to his lips and leaned in closer to whisper.

Adrien twisted his miraculous around on his finger. If he were transformed, he could probably hear what they were saying. He was tempted to inch closer to listen in on the conversation, but he knew he shouldn’t. Whatever they were saying, he wasn’t supposed to know.

But he was dying to know what Ladybug’s special mission for Marinette was. What could his older self have said that would make her react like that? Maybe he had just told her Ladybug’s identity! Or … did she already know because of the time Ladybug had given her the mouse miraculous? Ladybug hadn’t had her kwami then. She would’ve had to be in her civilian form. But then again, she could always disguise herself the way he did with the banana suit. Well, maybe not that way. Ladybug was smart. She would find a better way. She always did.

One thing was for sure: she was right to choose Marinette for the mouse miraculous. And she was right to choose Marinette now, for whatever she had chosen her for. Marinette was smart too—maybe even as smart as Ladybug. More importantly, she was trustworthy. If there was anyone Ladybug could trust with her secret identity, it was Marinette.

Still, Adrien’s stomach twisted at the thought of someone else knowing who his lady was before he did. He always hoped he’d be the first to know. If he was ever allowed to know.

Chat Noir gripped Marinette’s shoulders. She nodded firmly and then ran off.

Adrien could barely wait until she was gone before he ran up to his future self.

“What did you say to her? Did you tell her Ladybug’s identity?”

Chat Noir chuckled drily. “No.”

“Did you …” Adrien swallowed. “Did you tell her ours?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why was she—”

Chat Noir put up a hand. “Hey. You know what they say: curiosity killed the cat. My lips are sealed.”

“But won’t she need help? If Bunnyx sent you from the future, there must be something awful going on. Is Marinette going to be safe? I should go with her. To protect her. I need to transform. Plagg, cl—”

“Whoa there. Not yet, okay? Trust me. Marinette has it handled.”

Adrien lowered his fist. “Yeah … yeah, you’re right. Marinette can do anything. She’ll be fine.”

For the first time, Chat Noir smiled. “She’s pretty special, isn’t she?”

“Marinette? Yeah, she’s amazing! But … you would know that. Obviously.”

Chat Noir’s smile shifted into a smirk. “You’ve got a thing for her, don’t you?”

Adrien’s face went red. “What? No! I’m in love with Ladybug.”

“Sure. But you definitely have a crush on Marinette.”

“Of course not! Marinette is … just a friend.”

Chat Noir rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve heard that one before.”

“It’s true!”

“Would you cut that out? Just admit that you like Marinette.”

“Of course I like her. But not like that.

“You sure about that, kid?”

Adrien scoffed. “You’re gonna call me ‘kid’? Like Plagg does? I’m you.”

“I know. Which is why I can confidently tell you that you’re an idiot.”

Adrien’s jaw dropped. “Hey!”

Plagg snickered inside his jacket.

“You got something to say, Plagg?” Chat Noir asked. “You can come out. It’s just us here.”

Plagg phased through Adrien’s jacket, cackling. “Oh, this is good. This is very, very good.”

Adrien crossed his arms, frowning. “I don’t see what’s so good about it.”

“Come on. Your future self, telling you you’re an idiot? Priceless. And he’s right, of course.” Plagg turned to Chat Noir. “The kid is totally clueless. He can’t even see that Marinette is madly in love with him when all the evidence is right in front of his face! I’ve tried to tell him, but he never listens.”

“Yeah, I know,” Chat Noir said wryly.

“But Marinette isn’t in love with me!” Adrien said.

“Oh yeah?” Plagg said. “Then how come she has photos of you all over her room?”

“She’s just into fashion. You know that.”

“But she drew hearts all over them! Blegh.”

“They’re not hearts. They’re upside-down spades. Marinette told me that.”

“Come on! That was such a weak excuse. You can’t have actually bought that. Right?” Plagg looked at Chat Noir.

The older Adrien grimaced. “Apparently.”

“Well, how about how she’s always stuttering and tripping over herself in front of you?” Plagg said.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Obviously she’s nervous in front of you. Because she’s in looooove.”

“If she’s nervous around me, it’s probably just because I’m a fashion model.”

“Yeah, because she really seems like the type to care about fame and fortune, huh,” Chat Noir said.

“Well … no. She’s not like that at all. But my father is—”

“Don’t.” Chat Noir’s voice was low. His expression darkened.

“Don’t … what?”

“Don’t mention that man around me.”

Adrien’s eyes widened. “Father? Why? What’s wrong?”

Chat Noir closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “A lot of things are wrong.” His eyes snapped open. “Starting with you and how impossibly, ridiculously blind you are.”

“I don’t—you don’t understand. Either of you.”

Chat Noir laughed. “I don’t understand? You do know I’m you, right? I understand better than anyone.”

“Then how could you say any of this? If you’re really me, then you know that I’m in love with Ladybug and that I could never love someone else. Unless …” Adrien froze as a realization hit him. “Wait. Do you—I mean, we—not love Ladybug anymore? In the future?”

Chat Noir’s catlike eyes narrowed, scrutinizing Adrien. “I can’t answer that. You know I can’t tell you anything about your future. It’s not safe for you to know.”

“But—”

“Just stop. I know you love Ladybug. But if you say you don’t also love Marinette, you’re just being obtuse.”

“I—you’re wrong. Marinette is just a friend. I don’t—”

Adrien let out a strangled cry as Chat Noir grabbed him roughly with both hands and lifted him by the jacket collar. The toes of his sneakers skimmed the floor.

“Why are you like this?” Chat Noir practically snarled. “What can’t you just open your eyes?”

Adrien gulped. Of all the strange situations he’d been in, nothing was as strange as being threatened, not by Hawkmoth, not by a supervillain, but by himself. And the anger and frustration in his older self’s eyes was very real. Real enough to send a chill down Adrien’s spine and make his hair stand on end. In that moment, Chat Noir looked almost … dangerous.

What is it called when you go back and murder your younger self? Adrien thought. Is that homicide or suicide?

He didn’t want to find out.

He raised his hands in surrender. “You know, if you kill me, you’ll probably be erased from time or something. So maybe you could … um, not do that. Please.”

Chat Noir sighed heavily, lowering Adrien back to the ground. “I wouldn’t be erased from time. We would both be caught in an infinite, paradoxical time loop—a state of neither reality nor unreality. Because if I killed you, you’d never grow up to be me. Which means that I never existed to go back in time to kill you, which means you actually didn’t die, which means that you did grow up to be me and I actually did go back in time to kill you.”

“But if—that—what?”

Chat Noir rubbed his temples. “Honestly, time travel has never made that much sense to me. Bunnyx is much better with this sort of thing. That’s why she’s in charge of the rabbit miraculous. I just go where she tells me.” He lowered his hands. “The point is, I’m not going to hurt you. That wouldn’t help either of us. Besides, there’s something you need to do. And as long as you do exactly as I say, we shouldn’t have any problems.”

Adrien’s heart rose. This was it. His special mission from the grown-up Ladybug, who was probably even more perfect than she was now (if that was possible). She was so smart, so strong, so kind, so beautiful, so confident, so Ladybug.

Would she still wear pigtails in the future? Would she still scrunch up her nose as she figured out her lucky charm? Would she still call him “kitty”? Would she—

“I need you to ask out Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

If Adrien had been drinking something, he would’ve spit it out all over his future self’s suit. So it was a good thing he wasn’t, because despite Chat Noir promising not to hurt him, he really didn’t want to test his luck.

“Ask—ask out … Marinette?” he spluttered, ignoring Plagg’s sniggering. “Like … like on a date?”

“Yep.”

“But … why?”

“Because it’s important.”

Adrien’s brow furrowed. “This is my special mission from Ladybug?”

“Actually, this one comes from me.” Chat Noir gripped Adrien’s shoulder. “Trust me. No, trust you.”

“Okay...”

Chat Noir leaned down, his gaze earnest. “Look, I know it doesn’t make sense to you right now, but this is extremely important. Your entire future—and mine—depends on it. Really, the entire future of Paris depends on it. Maybe even the future of the world.”

“On … on me …” Adrien swallowed. “...asking Marinette on a date?”

“That’s right.”

“But … Marinette doesn’t even like me. She likes Luka.”

Chat Noir sighed. He was sighing a lot. Is this what Adrien was going to grow up to be? An exasperated man who violently threatened younger versions of himself? (But who was also, admittedly, very cool?)

“Forget about that,” the older Adrien said. “Just ask Marinette out for ice cream. It doesn’t have to be a big romantic gesture. You can even ask her as a friend if you want to. Just tell her it’s a thank you. For helping Ladybug today and saving everyone.”

Adrien’s shoulders relaxed. “Oh—okay. She deserves that. She’s always helping people.” He smiled. “She’s like an everyday Ladybug.”

Chat Noir shook his head. “You’re really going to compare her to the love of your life and then tell me that you don’t have feelings for her?”

Adrien took a step back, bracing himself to be scolded again (or maybe strangled), but Chat Noir’s expression was soft. “It’s okay. All you need to do is buy her a cone of Sweetheart’s Ice Cream. Easy.”

Well, that certainly seemed much easier than whatever Ladybug had asked Marinette to do. But still … the thought of being alone with her, sharing André’s (possibly magical) ice cream for lovers, with the golden afternoon light framing her face, and her eyes like clear blue water, and her lovely warm smile, and those tiny freckles sprinkled across her nose like stardust, and her laugh that made him feel so strangely proud that he could bring that beautiful sound to life, and that feeling that stirred deep inside his chest whenever he thought of her ...

Adrien felt like a dozen akumas were fluttering around inside his stomach. “But what—what should I say to her?” he stammered. The only real date he’d been on was with Kagami, but somehow this seemed … different.

Chat Noir’s eyes scanned his face. He felt like he was being X-rayed, like his older self could see straight through him to where his insides had turned into jelly. And he knew the telltale blush creeping over his face was clearly visible even without the enhanced vision of the transformation.

Chat Noir smiled. “Just ask her what she would name her pet hamster if she had one.”

Adrien blinked. “Her hamster?”

“Yeah. You’ve always wanted one, right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“So does she. Remember? Her dad mentioned it. That time you went over for brunch.”

“And then got her dad akumatized,” Plagg added with a smirk.

Adrien’s blush deepened. How could he forget that? A girl told him she loved him and then he broke her heart and made her dad turn into a giant hairy wolf man. If that didn’t prove how much of a disaster he was in the love department, he didn’t know what did.

He buried his face in his hands, his cheeks burning against his palms. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Aw, come on, I was just kidding,” Plagg said. “Ask out Pigtails. Like I told you to back then.”

Adrien’s voice was muffled. “But why would she even want to go out with me? I’m so lame compared to her.”

“Hey.”

A hand weighed on his shoulder. Adrien looked up at Chat Noir.

“Don’t sell yourself short. You’re pretty awesome. You’re Chat Noir! Someday, you’ll even be as cool as me.” He winked.

“Come on,” Adrien said. “You and I both know that I’m just a giant dork. And I highly doubt I’m going to grow out of that, so you must be a dork too.”

Chat Noir grinned. “Touché. But, as crazy as it may sound, Marinette likes you anyway.”

“Are you sure?” Adrien asked doubtfully. “Sometimes I worry that she doesn’t like me that much at all, and maybe that’s why she always runs away or acts so nervous when I’m around.”

“I’m sure.” Chat Noir hesitated, then leaned in. “You want to know a secret?”

Adrien’s eyes widened. “Like, something from my future?”

“No. From your past, actually. You know the scarf that”—he paused—“Father gave you?”

“Sure! That was the best birthday present he ever gave me!”

“That’s the thing … it wasn’t actually from him.”

“What do you mean?”

A soft smile crossed Chat Noir’s face. “Marinette made it for me.”

What?”

“See? One of your favorite gifts that you’ve ever gotten. It was from her the whole time. Remind me again what your other favorite gift is?”

“My lucky charm.” Adrien dug in his pocket and held it up.

“Also from Marinette.” Chat Noir’s smile widened. “I still have mine too.”

Adrien stared at the charm twisting slowly in the air. Could the scarf really be from her too?

“But … Nathalie gave the scarf to me. From Father. How do you know Marinette made it?”

“Because he told me.”

“Who, Father?”

Chat Noir shook his head. “No—me. Today. When I was you. I’ve been through all of this before, remember?”

“But how did he know, then?”

“I asked the same thing. So he told me to ask Marinette about it. And I suggest you do the same. You could ask her on your date today.” Chat Noir winked. “That’s what I did.”

Behind Adrien, there was a soft zap. He turned and saw a glowing blue portal, buzzing with energy.

“Looks like my ride is here.” Chat Noir grinned and grabbed the baton from his back.

“Wait!”

He paused.

“That’s really my whole secret mission? To—to ask out Marinette?” Adrien ignored the blush warming his cheeks. “Ladybug doesn’t have any instructions for me?”

“Nope. Oh, wait! She did want me to tell you something: thank you.”

Adrien raised his eyebrows. “For what?”

“Well, you’re about to go help her battle the akuma, right? You wouldn’t leave your lady hanging. You’re always there for her, and you always will be.” Chat Noir smiled. “You’re partners. The two of you against the world, right?”

Adrien swallowed and nodded.

“Oh—that reminds me. You’re supposed to meet Ladybug at the Arc de Triomphe. Better get going or you’ll miss all the fun. Stay out of trouble, kid. I’ll see you later. Or, I guess you’ll see me, huh?” He grinned and offered a two-fingered salute.

As Chat Noir turned to leave, a glint caught Adrien’s eye. He had noticed before that the bell was missing from his older self’s suit, but he’d been too distracted by everything else going on to pay much attention. But now he saw that it had been replaced by a small golden ring.

“Hey,” he asked. “Where did my bell go? Why’d you get rid of it?”

A pair of rabbit ears and a head of bright red hair poked through the portal. “Are you coming or not?” Bunnyx asked. “I can’t keep this open for very much longer.”

Chat Noir walked backward toward the portal, still facing Adrien. “I don’t need a bell. I’m not lost anymore.” He put one leg through the portal.

“See you later, Kitty Noir,” Bunnyx said. “I mean, I hope I won’t. But I probably will.” She disappeared back into the portal.

“Hamster,” Chat Noir mouthed, and with a last salute, he was gone.

 


 

“Cutting it a little close, aren’t you?” Alix said as she closed up the portal behind them. “Why were you even talking to him? That wasn’t part of the plan.”

“It was part of my plan,” Adrien said. “Absolutely essential. Trust me.”

There was a flash of red in the corner of his vision as a figure landed nimbly on the roof beside them. Marinette stowed her yo-yo on her hip. “Hey. Everything go okay on your end?”

His heart throbbed in his chest. Gah, she was amazing. Every time he saw her he fell in love again. He was still the lovesick kitten Plagg had always accused him of being. But how could he not be? She was paw-sitively enchanting.

Well, as clueless and frustrating as his younger self was, he was right about one thing: Adrien was a dork. And that was fine with him.

He gently lifted her hand to his lips. “Just purrrfect, milady.”

Alix rolled her eyes. “Seriously, doesn’t that get old?”

Adrien grinned. “You’re just jealous that you don’t know any good rabbit puns.”

“Why would I be jealous of puns?”

“Because nobunny can resist them.”

He winked, and Alix stuck her tongue out at him.

“Alright, alright,” Marinette said. “Anything to report, kitty?”

“Yes. You look splendid today.”

A smile pulled at the corners of her lips. “Not what I meant.”

“Well, let’s see … mini-you did seem pretty shocked when I said you wanted her to tell Ladybug to bring the miracle box out in the open, but I’m sure she did everything exactly right.”

Marinette nodded. “Good. I’ve set up everything on our side. As long as our younger selves follow our instructions, they’ll lure Chronomaster straight into our trap. What’s our status, Bunnyx?”

“Everything looks good. I haven’t seen anything unusual in my burrow. Minibug and Kitty Noir did the job just like you told them to. Or, they will, I guess. In a few minutes.”

Marinette smiled triumphantly. “Looks like everything went according to plan.”

“Well …” Alix glanced at Adrien. “Except for the part where Mr. Cool Claws here talked to Adrien Jr. I don’t remember that from the briefing.”

“Kitty!”

Adrien shot Alix a dirty look. “That was an essential point of the mission, thank you. And a confidential one.”

Marinette frowned. “What did you do?”

“Nothing. I just talked to him, okay?”

“You know how dangerous it is to know about the future.” Her eyes widened. “You didn’t tell him my identity, did you?”

“No! No. Of course not. Trust me, he’ll remain oblivious for another year or so, just like I did.” Adrien groaned. “Ugh, I could’ve strangled him. Nearly did, actually.”

Marinette let out a soft gasp. “You didn’t hurt him, did you?”

“Nah. Just kind of … manhandled him. Just a bit.”

Her lips slid into an adorable pout. “How could you do that? He’s just a kid!”

“A clueless kid.”

“A good kid!”

“An absolute fool.”

“An absolute sweetheart!”

A grin spread across Adrien’s face. “Aw, bugaboo, don’t tell me you had a crush on me?”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Don’t try to change the subject. What exactly were you doing?”

“Oh, I was just … enlightening my mini-me. Giving him a little nudge in the right direction. Making sure that this”—he flicked the wedding band at his neck—“would happen.”

He stepped closer, bringing his face near hers. His heartbeat quickened as her breath fanned across his face, and he noted a hint of pink spilling out from under her mask.

“Making sure that this would happen,” he breathed. And then slowly, gently, he brought his lips to meet hers.

Adrien had thought that after nearly a year of marriage, kissing Marinette would become a normal, everyday thing. And it was, in a way. But it also wasn’t. Because not a single one of Marinette’s kisses was forgettable. Not the sleepy morning kisses, or the casual hello kisses, or the quick goodbye kisses. Even if it was only for a fraction of a second, when his lips were on hers the earth stopped spinning just so he could treasure the moment a little longer.

And a kiss like this—a kiss he could savor; a kiss so deep he was completely submerged in her; a kiss that let him feel her all around him as he melted against her, into her, by her, with her—set off a thousand fireworks in his soul.

The moment came to an end when Alix cleared her throat loudly.

“You shouldn’t have meddled,” Marinette murmured as she pulled away. “You know better than that, kitty.” She tapped his nose with one finger.

Adrien flushed under his mask. After all this time, she could still make him feel like the helpless, blushing mess of a boy he’d left behind in the museum.

“I just did it exactly how I remembered. How it was always supposed to be.” He clasped her hand in both of his. “So we could be how we were always supposed to be.”

Marinette tilted her head and smiled. “Well, the world hasn’t fallen apart yet, so I guess you didn’t really screw it up. You’re off the hook this time.”

“Good. I’d hate to miss the surprise party we’re throwing for Chronomaster. You know how I love parties.”

“Speaking of, we’re going to be late if we don’t go now.” Marinette turned to Alix. “Ready?”

“Ready.” Alix called back her burrow and stood aside.

“Let’s make this quick,” Adrien said. “We had to leave in such a rush this morning that I didn’t get the chance to feed the hamster.”

Marinette grabbed Adrien’s hand. “Thanks, kitty,” she whispered. “I love you.”

He squeezed her hand gently. “Love you too, bugaboo.”

Together, they faced the portal.

“Let’s go.”