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Morning Sun

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A month only and yet an eternity.
29 times I have seen the sun rise, but not once did I see it slowly drown behind the burnt out shadows of the city in its own sea of fire.
Bluish, indeed bluish, she shined into my room every day, making the shadows of the night disappear in the empty corners.
Many think blue is cold and oppressive, but I saw joy and sometimes even hope in it.
The moment when the sun, with its blue rays, pulls me out of the crushing sleep of exhaustion every morning is the only moment when I can really forget where I am and no longer feel as if I am on the verge of drowning.
I thought I could start over, rebuild myself completely and lead a life of my own.
I came here, left everything behind, thought it was the best decision.
Hoped.
I go out early and come back late.
People say someone's waiting for them at home or they're looking forward to going home.
Home.
One more thing I haven't seen in a month.
Sure I have a flat, a roof over my head - but no home - empty it was, quiet, cold, dark.
Red houses on a blue and white background and watching the sun disappear just around the corner.
A few short minutes in the morning when she sends me her blue greetings.
Blue light which for a short time turns my room into a home and the feeling of drowning in hope.