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Real Life is a Bitch!

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~~~~~REAL LIFE IS A BITCH!~~~~~~

Methos tossed his napkin on the table and sat back in his chair. What a great dinner, he thought. Duncan had really outdone himself. He smiled. Thoughts about his lover put wicked ideas in his head and heat in his groin. As if reading his thoughts, Duncan looked up at him, a smoky promise in his brown eyes as he ran his tongue across his bottom lip sensously.

Methos reached out his hand across the table, not disappointed when Duncan reached over and took his hand in his own.

A silent look, and they stood and glided towards one another. Methos breathed in deeply and inhaled the spicy scent of Duncan's aftershave. The smell was intoxicating. Just a small overlay of sensual spice intermingling with Duncan's own natural maleness. He reached around and enclosed Duncan's body in his arms as he melted into the embrace enclosing his own body. He was already hardening in his pants as his blood began to thrum in his veins.

They drew closer, their lips seeking warm breaths and wet caresses. He angled his head and opened his mouth, then coughed and choked as Duncan's lips touched his. Fuck! He crinkled up his nose. What the hell had the Highlander been eating?

"Methos? What's wrong?" Duncan pulled back and asked him in concern.

"What the hell did you eat? Your breath smells like shit," he spat at his partner.

Duncan cupped his palm over his nose and mouth and breathed in. Methos watched, amused, while Duncan's face turned a lovely shade of red.

"Um, sorry. I'll be right back," Duncan offered before trotting towards the bathroom. Methos folded his arms across his chest and snickered when he heard the water running, followed by the sound of Duncan scrubbing his teeth.

A few minutes later and Duncan was back at his side, still slightly embarrased, but with a fresh and clean mouth. He leaned towards Methos again.

Methos wrapped his arms around Duncan's muscular frame and pulled him closer. Their lips met. 'Blurrrppp' The belch came all the way up from Methos' gut and erupted from his mouth just as their lips opened and melded together.

"Methos!" Duncan pulled back, disgust evident in his shocked exclamation.

"Um, sorry." Methos wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Give me a minute," he sighed and walked towards the bathroom. He went in and grabbed his own toothbrush.


Methos was lying on his back in bed, the strong aroused body of his lover draped on top of him. He shifted his hips upward and groaned when his cock rubbed against Duncan's hip. "God, Duncan." He shuddered.

"Turn over," Duncan's husky voice instructed him. Duncan lifted his body and Methos obediently rolled over on his stomach.

Soft warm lips brushed his shoulder, sucking a gentle trail down Methos' back until they reached his buttocks. Methos' cock was throbbing and hard. He moaned deeply and began thrusting against the silk covered mattress. Strong but gentle hands caressed his buttocks before sliding into the crevice to seperate and tease. He squirmed and ground his pelvis into the mattress harder. A wet lick of tongue drew down his crease and he shivered, then bucked when the wet point delved into his opening.


Duncan darted his tongue against Methos' opening and pressed inwards. Methos was squirming against the mattress as he bathed the puckered opening with loving care. His own cock was pulsing against his belly as he grasped Methos' hips and bathed his hole with sucking kisses.

'Pfffffttttttt' The fart was ejected forcibly from Methos' anus. Duncan jumped back with a look of horror on his face. He smacked his lips and crinkled up his nose in disgust. "Damn, Methos!" Fuck! He coughed and choked as the foul odor filled the air around them. Double fuck!!

Without a word, he jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom to grab the mouthwash. Bad enough his nose was right there when his lover decided to fart. But did he have to do it when Duncan's tongue was sliding inside? Ugh! Would he ever be able to get that taste out of his mouth?


Methos flipped over on his back and groaned. Double fuck! he cursed his own body. Why did he have to pick that moment to fart? Now Duncan would never want to stick his tongue back in his asshole. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Well, nothing for it now, he decided as Duncan came back into the room. "Sorry love," he offered lamely as Duncan slid back into bed.

"It's okay, Methos. It's not like you could help it," Duncan told him kindly. With a gentle hand he began to caress Methos' body again. He started with a hard, pink nipple, stroking it gently as his lips kissed and sucked down Methos' chest to his groin. He slid down the bed until he was hovering over the pulsing shaft of his partner. Flicking out his tongue, he licked up its length, grinning when it jumped under his ministrations. He continued to lick and suck on the sensitive organ until Methos thrust his hips upward and moaned.

"What do you want, Methos? What do you need," he asked silkily.

"You. I want to fuck you. Now." Came back the husky and urgent reply.

Duncan shivered, his body on fire from need, the words of his lover sending sparks of urgency to his groin. He shifted back up in bed and wrapped his arms around his partner, rolling them over swiftly until he had Methos on top. Wrapping his legs around his lover, he began to undulate, rubbing his slick needy cock against Methos' belly. Methos was heaving above him, thrusting his own hips to meet Duncan's hardness. Suddenly, he raised up, removing his heat. Duncan moaned in disappointment.

"Shhh. I'm here." Methos promised as he returned to place a slick finger against Duncan's opening. A long finger entered him slowly, then backed out gently. A second finger joined the first -- in and out-- in and out. Gently finger fucking him. Duncan moved his hips in time and reached down to grasp his cock. "That's it, Duncan. Touch yourself for me. Let me see you come," Methos whispered thickly, while removing his fingers and placing his cock at Duncan's hole.

Duncan began to stroke harder as he was filled with his lover's thick cock. Methos began to stroke in and out of his body, and he increased the force and tempo of his own strokes on his cock. His blood was pulsing in his organ, strumming, sending shocks of pleasure against his nerve endings. He thrust his hips and stroked harder. Methos' pelvis was hitting Duncan's ass with every thrust, his balls slapping against his buttocks.

Their strokes were becoming frantic as their urgency increased with the pressure in their cocks. Duncan's balls tightened and he tensed as his climax built to the point of impending release. Methos' arms tightened around him, his hips thrusting frantically, the rhythm nonexistent in his driving need for completion.

Duncan's orgasm came crashing down, ripping through him forcibly. One more hard thrust inside his body and Methos bore down and screamed against Duncan's chest. Duncan felt his lover's cock jerk inside him, and they were both coming-- hard.

A soft sigh, a shuddering chuckle of relief, and Methos pulled out. Duncan watched him from hooded sleepy eyes ---and groaned. The tip of Methos' cock was covered in shit. He looked into his partner's hazel green eyes, read the annoyance offered there and shrugged. "Sorry." Damn, but why couldn't they be like tv heroes? Real life was a bitch!

The End