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The End and the Way

Chapter 9: A Morning on Ashas Ree

Summary:

Finn and Rey each struggle with expressing their truths. A strange new force used appears.

Notes:

I took a big break to think about this one, but I'm back now. As this story has progressed, it's turned into something that's not just reylo, but also extends to the other characters. I felt bad about this at first, like I was doing something wrong. No one wants to read about the Resistance characters, I reasoned. It's certain not something I see a lot. So I told myself I needed to stop including them in order to write a "good" story. But at the same time, I love writing them. I love Rose and Finn and Poe and how I've characterized folks like Connix and Beau and everybody that we were robbed of in TROS. So their perspectives will stay in, though this will always always be Rey and Ben's story.

Anyway, I appreciate you reading and hope you enjoy this update.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Finn?" 

Sitting on the hard ground of the planet Ashas Ree, a part of Finn recognized that Rose was talking to him. He could see her, out of the corner of his eye, sitting next to him on the ground. Behind them was the small, two-man craft that had brought them there, ensconced in a color-shifting tarp to keep it away from prying eyes. Above him was a canopy of trees full of rustling birds and the occasional falling leaves. But beyond that, he was also aware of something else, something other . He could feel something , in this place. He couldn’t quite give it a name. 

It was like a pulsing at the back of his mind. The kind of thing he’d have ignored, back before he joined the Resistance. Back before he learned that the Force was real. Part of him wanted to explore this further. Part of him wanted to close up and forget it ever happened. 

"Can I see it? The Holocron?"

He felt like he was standing in an airlock. Go out or stay in, either way, he had to make up his mind. He didn’t know what to do. Focus on something else , he told himself. It was an old trick, and one that had seen him through a lot: Pick something else to think about, cross your eyes, and it confuses the pain. You could distract yourself from anything if you tried hard enough. He glanced around for something to latch onto. He settled on Rose’s furrowed eyebrows, but why --

“Finn!” 

This time, Rose punctuated his name with a punch to the shoulder. He jumped, brought back by the impact. 

“Ow! What was that for?” He genuinely winched, rubbing his shoulder; the girl could throw a punch. 

“For you not listening.”

“I was listening.”

“Okaaay, then what was I saying?”

“The...holocron?” he ventured. Rose nodded pointedly at him. “Yeah, sure, hold on…” He swung his bag around and pulled it out. He’d wrapped it in a towel, to protect it, which he pulled away as he handed it to her. Rose’s fingers were light as they moved across the Holocron housing. She twisted the emerald cube until the knob on the side, the one he had pretended to push to make it work, was on the top. She pressed down, but, of course, nothing happened. Rose raised a questioning eyebrow. He tried to smile, pull a nonchalant shrug, but she shook her head, eyebrows climbing higher. He sighed. She saw right through him, of course she did. She always did.

“How’d you know?” he asked, a little sheepish, a little afraid. 

“Rey told me.” his shock must have shown on his face because Rose shook her head and quickly added: “not about...you know, you. But about the holocrons and how they work.”

Promise you won’t tell?”  

Rose looked incredulous. “Why not?” she asked. He just shook his head. “Why does it matter? Finn. If you can use the For--”

“Shh!” He shook his head again and held up his hands as though to clamp them over her mouth. “Don’t say it!”

“Why not?" Rose gently moved his hands away from her face. "Rey would be ecstatic, honestly, and Poe --”

“Right, I’m going to tell Poe: hey, buddy, remember that thing that got used to torture you? I have it, too. That’ll go over real well.” Finn pushed to his feet, craving movement to clear his thoughts. He began to pace around the clearing. Since the moment they met, Poe had made him feel like a person. He’d made him feel whole. He’d given him a name . Admitting that he could use that power -- he couldn't name it even in his head -- it felt like a betrayal. Something tainted, leftover from when, however reluctantly, he'd served the First Order. And Finn couldn’t betray the man who gave him a name. And as for Rey... “Rey needs everything to be easy, right now. You saw her in medical, she fragile right now. I can’t spring this on her. Not when she’s got so much to worry about.”

“Rey’s stronger than you think.” Rose observed. She had clambered to her own feet now and matched him stride for stride across the little grove. “If anything, she lonely, it's like she thinks she has to carry this burden alone --"

"Why would she think that?" Finn asked, genuinely puzzled. "She has all of us." 

"And as for Poe," Rose continued "...he’ll come around. You’re still you , you’ve just got this power that means --.”

“No,” Finn said, rounding on her. He looked down at her, gripping her shoulders, trying to will her to understand. “Rose, listen to me: I spent my whole life being told what to do and how to feel because of...because of some stormtrooper conditioning. I finally break out of it and now it’s the Force pulling me around? No way. I make my future. That’s what the Resistance is all about, right? Doing what’s right. Finding our own path.” 

Rose looked up at him, chewing on her bottom lip. Finally, she said softly: “If I can figure it out, they will, too. You’re not going to be able to--”

“But you’re not gonna say anything?”

Rose sighed. “No, I won’t say anything --”

Finn cut her off with a crushing hug. “Thank you." He rested his chin on top of her head. “I knew I could count on you.” He felt her laugh against his chest and he smiled. She felt solid and real and it grounded him. 

“I won’t say anything for now,” she spoke into his shoulder. “But you have to promise me that we'll talk about Rey, I'm worried she --”

Whatever she was going to make him promise was lost in a sudden sonic boom -- ships entering the atmosphere. They both looked up as a flock of green-blue birds fled the trees in a sudden squawking storm. 

“That’ll be them, right on schedule!" Finn said, scanning the skies for the familiar outline of Poe's X-wing. Poe was here. Rey, too. And like Rose, they were solid and real. He’d stake his future on that foundation over any half-feelings at the back of his head any day. 

Rose slipped out from under his arms and headed back towards the ship. 

Behind him, unnoticed, Rose scooped the Holocron up from where it lay abandoned in the tree litter and slipped it into the bag at her side.

---

Rey came bounding out of her X-wing, bright and feeling more alive than she had in months. She actually laughed out loud as she returned Rose’s frantic wave. 

“I can’t believe you found a holocron and didn’t tell me!” Rey shouted down to Finn, tossing her helmet aside as the canopy hissed open. Behind her, BB-8 dropped onto the ground and rolled into the clearing.  

“Call it payback for building a lightsaber without me!” Finn called back, laughing as he jogged over to where Poe’s ship was landing nearby.  

Rey’s smile faltered. Her hand closed on the weapon at her side, fixed and whole. What would she tell Finn, when he asked? 

See, Finn, everything's fine: Kylo Ren came to visit me after you left through a hole in the Force and helped me fix everything. Also, I might have wanted to kiss him -- No. No . Better to keep silent for now. 

It was a problem, but one for later. For now, she had to get out of this fighter. Pushing herself forward, she zipped out of her flight suit. She clipped the lightsaber to her side, wishing desperately for the fabric of her usual gauzy wraps to hide in. She swung herself over the side of the ship, landing lightly. However, as soon as her boots touched down on the leaf-strewn ground, she felt it: a strange background hum in the Force. It resonated within her bones and set her teeth on edge. In a nervous, instinctive gesture, she tried to sweep her hair up and off of her neck -- but halfway through the motion, she realized she didn’t have anything to tie it back with. She let her hair fall again, loose and heavy to her shoulders. 

She closed her eyes and tried to reach out with her feelings. What was this? 

A string of small beeps made her look down. BB8 was bobbing back and forth in front of her. She blinked, translating the beeps in her head, then frowned.

“I am going with them, they’re right --”

She looked up and realized that Finn, Rose, and Poe were now several yards ahead, up the winding mountain trail. Finn had turned to wave at her, beckoning her to follow. 

“Go on then, let’s catch up!” Rey said, pulling a smile onto her face and breaking into a run. BB-8 chirped happily and sped along after her. 

Ahead of them, Rose had stopped to wait for Rey and the little droid. “What are we going to do if he hits something he can’t climb?” Rose wondered aloud. 

“He’ll figure it out, he always does. Don’t you, buddy?” Poe said, winking down at his little droid. BB-8 chirped an affirmative. Finn laughed, but Rose’s eyes were on Rey’s face. 

“You okay?” Rose asked. “You look...tired?”

“This place,” she responded slowly, “it's...does anything feel strange to any of you?” 

“Not to me. Finn?” Rose asked, looking pointedly over at him.

“Feels like a forest?” Finn asked, looking innocently back at Rose, who scoffed and shook her head. Rey was about to ask what that was about when Poe cut them all off. 

“Feels like we’ve got a lot of ground to cover and not a lot of time before nightfall. Come on, keep up, we gotta go.” Poe said. 

“Fine,” Rey said, schooling her face into what she hoped was a Jedi’s nonchalance, that flat expression Luke used to wear. “It’s probably nothing.” 

---

On they trekked along the winding mountain pathway. The trail narrowed, with a sheer drop passing down to a rushing river below. Rey was wary of the edge. The water below was swift and white-capped, much angrier than the beaches of Athch To.

As they traveled, Finn filled her in on everything she’d missed: the trip to Batuu, the various scrapes they’d gotten into finding the Holocron, how they had decoded its message -- the story accompanied at every turn with colorful commentary from Poe. They made quite a double act, tossing the conversation back and forth. No matter how bad things got, Finn always found a way to laugh at it. Not for the first time, Rey envied his lightness. 

But as fascinating as the stories were, eventually Rey struggled to pay attention. The pulsing of the Force continued to press in on her, until her steps, her breaths, even the beating of her heart seemed to match its rhythm. Sometimes it was a vibration. Sometimes it felt like voices. She half imagined it was trying to tell her something, like there was an answer there waiting, tantalizingly out of reach. If only she could just strain a little more... 

The trail became rocky and sparse the further up they traveled. The edges on one side yawned down into nothingness, the dizzying descent back to where they had landed the ships. On the ledges beside them were ruins, half collapsed structures and gates of stone. Rey rested a hand on one of the moss covered columns in passing; it pulsed with the same energy that pushed against her senses. 

Eventually they were stopped by a rockfall which had blocked the path. Rose knelt next by the rubble while Poe and Finn glanced around. “Rey, can you help?” She asked. 

Rey nodded, stepping forward. Finally, something she could handle. She closed her eyes, hand outstretched, focusing on the Force moving through her.“You know, Luke was angry with me when I told him that the Force was for making things float, but this is the second time I’ve --” 

"And what do you think you're doing?" rang out a sudden strange voice. 

Rey’s eyes snapped open, her concentration shattered. The rocks she had been moving fell hard and fast to the ground, some tumbling into the ravine below. She glanced around for the source of the voice and found that a figure had appeared beside them, quite literally from nowhere. 

Where once had stood a patch of scrubby trees and empty air now stood a slender woman wrapped in a black and white cloak. Her face was a ghostly white with red markings across her cheekbones. She raised a hand and smoothed a lock of equally pale white hair behind her ear, her gaze fixed and haughty. 

Rey was frozen, unsure of what to do. She looked sideways at Rose and Finn, but they seemed as confused as she. It was Poe who took a step towards her, smiling confidently, hands up in a placating gesture."We're looking for the land of the noonday sun.”

Rey tilted her head at him quizzically, then glanced back at the others. Finn caught her eye and mouthed: Resistance passphrase . Rey nodded.

“Hmm,” the woman said, jumping lightly onto the path, continuing to survey them. Rey thought Poe’s smile slipped just a fraction.

"I wasn't talking to you, boy," the woman said scathingly. She nodded at Rey. "I was talking to your Force user. I’ll say it again: Who are you?"

"I'm Rey." She tried to say it defiantly, a complete sentence. 

"Rey? Rey who?" the woman asked, tilting her head to the side. 

Rey’s shoulders tensed and she fought to keep her face smooth. She hated his question, had always hated it. Even here, surrounded by her friends, it made her feel like the sad little girl she’d been on Jakku. She was thinking up a suitably acerbic response when they were both surprised by Rose pushing her way up from the back, placing herself between the stranger and her friends. 

“Tico. Her name’s Rey Tico.” 

Rey stared down at Rose, utterly dumbstruck. This was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her. She tried to open her mouth, to say something, but Rose ignored her, still focused on the newcomer, and continued: “I’m Rose Tico, he’s Poe Dameron, and," she jerked her thumb backward, "that’s Finn.”

The stranger raised an eyebrow and inclined her head towards Finn. “Let me guess, Finn Tico?”

“Yes,” Rose said without hesitation. "They're my siblings, or anyway...as good as."

“She gonna want our blood types next?” Poe asked sotto voce to Finn, who grimaced back. 

"You're a sharp little one," the woman said to Rose, ignoring Poe. 

"Can you help us, or not?" Rose pressed. 

The woman opened her mouth to speak, but she was cut off by a new voice from behind them. 

"Pahn, sweetheart, please stop interrogating our guests."

Shockingly, the woman groaned aloud. Her lips thinned and she turned, hand at her hip. “ Father, I  have this under control.” 

An old man stepped out of the dark forest ruins. He moved carefully with the aid of a stick, but with a grace that belayed his age. Something caught Rey’s eye, a glint of metal at his waist, half-hidden by the folds of his robe. Beyond that, the pulsing that had flooded her senses had diminished, as though someone had pushed it away. Realization dawned in a rush and Rey's mouth fell open as she realized what he was -- a Force user, perhaps even a Jedi Master?

"You're -- are you a Jedi ?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself. She felt her face flush. She had been ashamed, later, about how starstruck she’d felt upon first meeting Luke Skywalker. Yet here she was, doing it again. She was disappointed in herself. 

But unlike Luke, this man grinned at her, sunburned face crinkling at the eyes in well-worn laugh lines. "A Jedi, me? No. I’m Cal Kestis. I see you’ve already met my youngest, Pahn-Chosin,” The woman in question let out a long-suffering sigh, all her hauteur replaced by abject embarrassment. Ignoring her, he swung an arm around, encompassing the half-collapsed structure around him. “Welcome, travelers, to the Nantahala Temple -- what’s left of it anyway." 

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading! Please consider leaving a comment or kudos if you enjoyed. I love to hear folks' thoughts and reactions, honestly any interaction is more precious to me than gold.

Notes/References:
-I love Jedi Fallen Order and my goal in life is to get Cal and the gang into every story ever. If you're a Cal/Merrin fan, too, I'll direct you to my "A Very Star Wars Fictober" where I believe they are Day 3.
-I wanted to try to figure out a reason why Finn would be reluctant to tell Rey he was force sensitive. I think it's an interesting look at hiding something intrinsic about yourself in an attempt to keep things smooth for your friends. It's different to truth someone with your life vs trusting them with the core of who you are. That takes vulnerability and I don't think Finn (or Rey about her connection to Ben) are there yet.