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Three Times

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Three times. That’s all it takes for the sound of his name to undo him. Three feelings, three instances.

The first undoing is the very first time the word passes from their lips… A name belonging to tragedy, to the past, now said with such confidence by one he wishes to stand beside till the end of days…. The clutch of his hand in theirs, the slight sparkle in their eyes like they might shed a tear. The heavy weight in his heart contrasted with the twisting fluttering in his stomach. The idea that at dawn, he still has a place that is uniquely his, here with them.

The second is pure joy, their excitement launching the name from their lips and their arms around his shoulders. It was a simple gift, something that made him think of them during his last trip to market. He didn’t think it was something cute himself, probably a more utilitarian gift than anything. The knuckles glistened on the table next to them, and as they pulled back from their embrace the stars in their eyes could almost blind. He was dazzled for a moment, his half mask hardly concealing anything of the blush on his face.

The third time is passionate, yet low. A bare ember across his skin, dragged out and mouthed again and again, leaving hot marks in its wake. The heat rises in his chest, his skin, his heart… his pants. It’s his undoing, the way it rolls from their tongue. Something only they know of him, something between just them, right now. Everything he was and is. “Xing…” The gentle caress of their breath in his ear and he can’t suppress a strangled sound. He wants to hear them repeat it again. And again and again, hands gently caressing their body, bringing them together. Again and again, heavy breaths and broken syllables. Again and again, swelling hearts and passionate looks. And again, as they wrap themselves up in a fluffy blanket and settle in for sleep together.

And again, through their last adventures together.