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Do what makes you happy

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“This mission was way to risky, Guren!” Shinya calls out throwing his pillbox on the floor.

“No, it wasn’t,” Guren replies in a calm voice and turns his back on his comrades.

They are all standing in a circle. It was Guren's idea to go against that many vampires and they barely made it back to the base alive. Again. Like so many times.

It hit them hard. Shinya is the one that is the least injured as he kept the others save from the distance. Sayuri is still bleeding from her face, though she is pressing the compress on the deep cut. Mito is holding her broken arm close to her body. Shigure and Goshi are also trying to hold themselves up. It is obvious. They are all exhausted from the fight.

Even Guren is hurt badly. His left shoulder is still bleeding but he moves like he does not care. He does not even bother about patching it up as he may thinks it would heal anyways

Nobody speaks up against him. But Shinya won’t let Guren's words be the last statement in this discussion.

“It was! What in the world got into your mind to send us out on a mission like this?!”

But Guren does not react. Without looking up he is untying his sword from his belt. His calmness drives Shinya insane. He knows Guren. He knows that Guren is fully aware of what he is saying. And Shinya knows that he wants to break Guren's shell. As a friend he has to.

“Guren, you could have killed us all!”

Guren pauses in an instant. Slowly he turns around. His eyes are blank, his expression stiff. Shinya immediately knows heou has gone too far. But he cannot take back these words. He does not even want to.

“I will go to sleep…” Guren mutters and walks past Shinya without taking another look at him or the others. Shinya is just standing there, unsure of what he should do. He turns around to see Guren leaving the room. By the way he walks, Shinya can clearly see he is still in pain. Like am injured predator crawling back to his shelter.

Shinya lets his eyes wander, uncertain if what he said was right. “Did I go to far?”

He seeks the glances of the others. Sayuri is staring at him stunned as if he just killed Guren in front of her. Shigure and Mitos expression tell a similar story. They look angry and sad at the same time. Only Goshi replies to his question,

“You maybe did. But you are not wrong. This mission could have killed us. And we can all be happy be are alive.”

“But you should not have talked like this to Guren-sama,” Shigure adds.

“Shit!” Shinya knows he had gone to far. He had hurt Guren more than he intended. Still in his thoughts Shinya is staring at the door where Guren just left. His anger had made him blind to see how Guren felt. But now Shinya remembers the sadness in Guren's stiff face as he left. He knows he has to apologize.

“I will go after him,” Shinya says turning around. Why did he do that? Why did he intentionally hurt him? Why? He hurries after Guren.

Shinya catches up with him in the hallway. Though Guren definitely notices that Shinya is coming closer he does not slow down a bit. Not until Shinya is on the same height, he turns his head.

“What do you want, Shinya?” Guren asks. “I can find the way back myself.”

“I want to apologize.” He is trying to catch Guren's glance.

“You don’t have to.”

“I didn't mean what I said earlier.”

But Guren looks the other direction and continues walking. “Sure you did. And you were right.”

“No, I wasn’t” Shinya replies.

“You were. I am the maniac that pulled you into this.”

“Nobody is mad at you.”

“Weren’t you shouting at me?"

“I was. But guess what? I am no longer mad.” Shinya smiles at him. “You did your best. And I appreciate you are always giving your best to keep everyone save. So stop making that face!”

“Shut up,” Guren hisses but his voice is not as strong as always. He stops at the office door and pulls out his key. “Shinya, I really want to go to sleep...”

He unlocks the door and enters. Shinya follows him but Guren does not mind at all. He does not even bothers to turn on the light as he enters. He just throws the keys on shelf next to the door and stumbles into the office.

Shinya can clearly see that he can no longer pretend that his shoulder is fine. His upper body is bent forward and he can barely take a straight step. This looks even worse than Shinya expected. Worried he turns on the light and closes the door behind him. He won’t leave Guren alone, not when he's hurt like this.

Guren sinks on the couch at the opposite side of the room. His office is practically furnished. Apart from the large desk there are only three cabinets with a lot of files and this couch shoved against the left wall. Two doors open from the office, one leading into the private bathroom, the other into a small bedroom.

Shinya can see the relief on Guren''s face. Now that they are alone, Guren stopped pretending, stopped acting like he did not feel anything. Shinya steps closer.

“Your shoulder hasn’t heal yet, has it?”

Guren sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. “No, it hasn’t.”

“At least let me patch you up,” Shinya says in a voice that Guren cannot contradict. “Where do you keep the first aid kit?”

“Over there in one of the drawers,” Guren points to the cabinet in the corner which looks like he never opens it. Shinya walks over and opens the drawers. There is a lot of stuff in there. It takes him three tries until he finds the small bag with bandages and compresses.

When he turns around he sees that Guren somehow managed to get a whisky bottle. But as he seemingly did not manage to get a glass as well, he is drinking straight out of the bottle. Shinya hurries over to him and pulls the bottle out of his hands.

“You know, we have better pain killers than this”, he says jokingly but in fact he is damn serious about it. Shinya puts the bottle on the desk, far enough away from Guren's arm reach.

“It hurts really bad.”, Guren protests and glances over to the bottle. But Shinya is not sure if he is really talking about the physical pain.

“I know! So now, let me see.” He sits down next to Guren's left and helps him out of his uniform jacket. Guren presses his teeth together and quietly hisses as he moves his wounded shoulder. But Shinya manages to take the jacket off with just a few skilled hand movements, revealing Guren's trained chest and shoulders. Shinya had seen him without his shirt several times but even now he has to try very hard to focus on the wound and not Guren's even skin over the defined muscles.

Focus. His eyes wander over the wound. The cut is so deep, that it reaches centimeters into Guren's shoulder and even parts of his chest. The sword of the vampire hit him hard, almost cutting his arm off. Most of it already reattached by now, but it still looks horrible. Without his cursed gear he definetly would have lost his arm.

Carefully Shinya disinfects the wound, then applies several compresses on it, fixating them with a bandage. He tries to be as gentle as possible. Guren's skin is soft under his fingertips but Shinya ignores it the best he can, always keeping in mind, that he is only touching Guren for a medical reason. But somehow he enjoys being able to take care of him. Even if it is just patching up his wounds.

Guren is just sitting there stiff, remaining silent. Apparently he is deep in his thoughts. Shinya can see that he has something on his mind. But he cannot tell exactly what it is. For sure, it must be more than what he said before. There is something else, maybe even something that he’s been keeping to himself for a lot longer.

As Shinya finishes and fixates the bandage with tape, he breaks the silence, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Guren's answer is just a grumble. He silently puts back on his shirt, buttoning it up.

“This is not what talking sounds like."

“Shut up”, Guren says harshly and tries to stand up. “I want to got to sleep.”

But Shinya immediately stretches out his arm, to keep him there. With his hand, he gently pushes Guren back onto the couch. “You're not getting away this easily!”

Guren looks at him puzzled.

“Not until you talked!” Shinya adds. “So. What's on your mind?”

“Nothing,” Guren looks the other direction. His voice is weak as he already knows that Shinya won’t believe the lie anyways.

“But you feel bad. Everyone can see it. I can see it! At least tell me what can make you feel better.”

Guren glaces over to the whisky bottle on the desk.

“Except of alcohol”, Shinya adds sighing. He leans over to Guren so that he cannot escape his glance anymore. “Do you need a hot bath? Something to eat?” Without noticing he leans in closer. “A hug? A kiss?”

“Cut the crap, Shinya!” Guren grumbles angrily and gets up so sudden that it makes Shinya flinch.

This is more than just the usual insult. Shinya knows Guren is really mad. He heard it in his voice. This is a really bad day. First he hurt his friend and now he made him mad. Could this get any worse? Why he made this bad joke in the first place?

Shinya can only see Guren's back, as he is leaning against the desk, shaking on his still weak legs.

“I wish I could tell you, Shinya…” Guren whispers.

These words hit Shinya. His chest tightens uneasily. What ever it was that Guren could not tell him, he must haven been taken this upon himself for a long time. Guren always tries to solve problems on his own. And each time he takes on more. Shinya gets up and walks over to Guren. If Guren does not want to talk, all he can do right now is to cheer Guren up. Casually he leans against the desk.

“Okay, Guren. I admit it.” Shinya snatches the whisky bottle from the desk, opens it and takes a big sip. He feels the alcohol burning in his throat. It is not even good whisky. Why Guren had to bring the cheap stuff? Then he offers the bottle to Guren. “You win this time.”

Guren stares at the bottle, then at Shinya. “Are you serious?” But his lips curl into a smirk. He take the bottle from Shinya. With his eyes still on Shinya, he takes a big sip as well. “Isn’t it pathetic to drink alcohol without any reason?”

“If it makes you happy,” Shinya smiles lighthearted. “Isn’t that a reason for now?” He waves for Guren to give him the bottle. Guren does as he is told and Shinya takes one sip again. Still not good.

“Why the sudden change of mind?” Guren asks.

“You are always keeping secrets and try to deal with them by yourself.” Shinya lowers the bottle and carefully places it on the table. “So for once, do what makes you happy.”

Their eyes meet. The silence that follows feels strange. Shinya would have expected Guren to say anything, at least insult him, telling him to shut up. But nothing happens. They are just looking at each other until Guren turns away.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Guren asks. His voice is shaking strangely.

“What of the many things I said? You have to be more specific.”

“That you would kiss me.”

Shinya giggles. “Guren, that was a j-”

“Do it!"

Shinya freezes in suprise. What? He can just stare at Guren. Did he really say that? Was that really happening?  Guren is standing in front of him, unable to act in such a situation. Usually Guren is the one that always knows what to do. But now, he is just standing there, asking Shinya to kiss him. Shinya thinks about denying it. But there is no way to play it down anymore.

Shinya feels his heart racing in his chest. Wasn’t this what he always wanted? He had admired Guren since he can remember. Shinya knows that this was not a love confession, that was just Guren asking him for a favor. But does this even matter?

He takes one step closer to Guren and gently puts his hand on his cheek. Shinya's fingers are shaking as he touches his skin. The way Guren is standing there. Lost. The way he does not know how to act. It all makes Shinya nervous as well. For once Guren let all his guard down, making himself extremely vulnerable. Shinya feels like this is making him even prettier.

Shinya lowers his gaze to Guren's lips then back up to his eyes. He is still unsure if Guren really means what he said. Fearing that he could tell him every second that this was just a bad joke. But the way Guren is looking at him with the same uncertainty that Shinya feels, ensures him that Guren was being completely honest.

As Shinya slowly leans forward, Guren closes his eyes. Their lips touch, but only for a brief moment. The touch is short, soft and gente. That is all. He kissed Guren. Their faces are still close. Shinya can even feels Guren's breath. He gave him what he wanted, but inside Shinya struggles against the urge to do it again. He should not. But Guren does not back away. Why does he stay this close? Shinya takes his courage and leans into the kiss again. On the last bit, Guren comes towards him.

Their lips touch again. First it is only a gentle touch. Then Shinya opens his lips a little. With the tip of his tongue he cautiously touches Guren's lips. Again and again. It’s still a reluctant kiss, as Shinya does not know how far he should got. With every touch he takes it one step further, feeling more and more comfortable with the situation. His tongue and his kiss is getting deeper and so does Guren's. His nervousness is waning with every touch, leaving room for a tense excitement.

The distance between their bodies is getting shorter and shorter, until Shinya feels Guren's body at his. Shinya slides his hand down Guren's neck an pulls his head closer to intensify the kiss. Guren's chest is touching his. Shinya feels it moving up and down with every breath he takes between the kisses. He feels Guren's quick pacing heartbeat against his skin, as well as Guren's crotch pressing against his hips.

It is feels strange to know so much about Guren's body. But at the same time, Shinya wants to know even more. His hand is running down Guren's back. With pleasure he notice Guren flinching under the his touch. Shinya gently puts his arm around his hips and pulls him even closer. He did not even notice he had gotten an erection until he feels Guren's body pressing against his pants.

Guren's fingers run over Shinya's shoulders and arms. Shinya enjoys his touch. But more, he kind of enjoys to be in control of Guren. Every time he touches Guren, he feels his body reacting, with a flinch or Guren purring in a soft voice. This is even more fun than teasing him with words.

Shinya's fingers slip under Guren's shirt. This is time it feels different from before. His fingertips are almost burning under the touches of his soft skin. Shinya's grip is getting tighter. With one hand between Guren's well-trained shoulders, he is holding Guren close to him. The other gropes along Guren's back and into the waistband of his pants.

But Guren as well cannot keep his hands off Shinya. His fingers run over Shinya's hips and under his jacket. He pulls at Shinya's shirt until it loosens from his trousers. Then strokes along Shinya's sides, from his waist up to his chest.

Their hands are now all over their bodies and hair, caressing each others skin, digging deeper under their shirts, shoving away the fabric to reach skin, they have not touched yet. Still they are kissing over and over again. Shinya is feeling excited, more than that. His heart is racing, his breath is short. He feels his lower body twitching every time Guren's body accidentally rubs against his penis.

Fabric is now an obstacle that has to be removed. Eager and with trembling fingers Guren is unbuttoning Shinya's jacket, and pulls it off his shoulders. Shinya helps him getting rid of the jacket, before Guren fingers slip under his shirt again, running all the way up and touching his nipples. Shinya flinches and lets out a soft moan.

Even Guren noticed. He smirks at Shinya, continuing to gently touch his nipples, again and again, while he softly kisses his lips. Shinya is suppressing another moan. He knows that now that Guren found his weak spot he would not hesitate to use it against him. And it would work so damn well. But Shinya won’t let him do that. At least not that easily.

Shinya grabs Guren's wrist, slowly pulls his hand out of his shirt and breaks the kiss. Guren looks at him questioningly. But before he can say anything Shinya takes Guren by the healthy shoulder and applies pressure on it. Guren is not resisting. He lets Shinya push him back until his back hits the wall. With his whole body he pins Guren against the wall, holding his wrist tightly, before he kisses him again.

The kiss is a lot rougher than before. Shinya presses his lips against his, giving Guren little chance to catch a breath. His thigh rests between Guren's legs. Every time Guren moves a little, it strokes over Guren's hard penis, making Guren flinch even more. For sure, Shinya is doing this on purpose. With each time it happens, he feels Guren's kiss getting more and more passionate. Shinya cannot deny, he loves teasing Guren, making him feel pleasure. It gives him pleasure as well.

He loosens the grip around Guren's wrist. His other hand runs over Guren's stomach and slowly lower into his pants. His waistband is tightened by his erection, but Shinya's finger slip through. With his fingertips he touches the tip of Guren's penis. It feels soft. Guren moans quietly. With gentle force Shinya shoves his hand deeper into his pants, so that he can embrace Guren's penis with his whole hand.

Shinya's heart is pumping loudly in his chest. It has been a long time since he had touched a penis that was not his own. But Guren's penis feels perfect, this incredible soft skin with a hard base. Slowly and extremely gentle he starts moving his hand up and down. Guren gasps for breath. His moans get louder, but Shinya kisses him to shut him up.

Guren frees his hands and gropes for Shinya's ass. Then up to his chest. With his fingertips he strives Shinya's nipples over and over again. Shinya cannot help but moan. His whole body contracts trembling in excitement so that he has to support himself on the wall. He is bend over Guren. Both are breathing heavily. Guren's face is all pink, his mouth slightly opened to catch his breath. His hair is all messy from the times Shinya stroke trough it. Shinya feels his face burning as well. Just now he notices his hand is still resting in Guren's pants, around his soft penis.

Shinya has no idea when it got that sexual. But it feels good. It feels incredibly good. For once, the toughness on Guren's face gave way to lust and desire. He looks messed up, but in an insanely attractive way. Shinya knows he definitely does not want to stop here.

As if they both had the same thought, both are turning their heads towards the bedroom door. Then back into each others eyes.

“Should we move to the bed?” Shinya whispers. But at the same time these words make him tremble. This is getting real. He is so close to sleeping with Guren. It excites him and scares him at the same time. But one thing he is sure of, he would definitely sleep with Guren if Guren also wanted to.

“Are you already tired?” Guren teases him with a smirk on his face. Seemingly he recovered his temper though he is still blushing all over his face.

“Why should I? Are you?” Shinya looks at him provocatively and starts moving his left hand around Guren's penis. Guren gasps.

“No,” Guren replies, clearly suppressing another gasp. He puts his hand onto Shinya's neck and pulls him into a kiss so suddenly that Shinya immediately forgets to move his hand.

This time Guren is clearly taking the lead in the kiss. His tongue stroking against Shinya's, his lips moving teasingly over his and his hand stroking though his hair. With his other hand, he starts unbuttoning Shinya's shirt. But he does not come far as he is not that skillful with one hand.

Shinya breaks the kiss and pulls his hand out off Guren's pants to help Guren with the shirt. But not without giving his penis a last stroke. Shinya manages to unbutton his shirt, then Guren leans into the kiss again. His fingers run over Shinya's neck and slowly slide the fabric off his shoulders. Shinya takes the last bit and pulls the shirt off his wrists.

Guren's lips start caressing his neck, moving slowly lower over his chest. Shinya feels the tension getting tighter in his chest. When Guren's tongue finally touches his nipple, the tension partly releases in a moan. Guren puts his hand on Shinya's pants and starts stroking his penis from the outside while his mouth is sucking gently on his nipple. Shinya can feel his whole body trembling. He closes his eyes and gives into the tight feeling, gasping quietly.

Slowly Guren gets up again. He is holding Shinya tenderly as he shortly kisses his lips. Shinya opens his eyes and sees Guren smiling at him mischievously. He got his revenge. A revenge that Shinya does not mind at all.

“Let’s move to the bed,” Guren whispers. Shinya nods.

Gently Guren takes Shinya's wrist and pulls him with him. With one hand he opens the door and turns on the light. The bedroom is so small that it fit exactly one queen size bed without any space left or right to the walls. But Shinya pushes Guren gently on the edge of the bed, forcing him to sit down, while he bends over him.

Shinya stops just centimeters away from Guren's lips. Instead of kissing him, he strokes through his hair, remaining in the position of their lips almost touching. It is meant to tease Guren. But Guren just put one hand in Shinya's neck and pulls him into the kiss and on his lap. Shinya wraps his arms around Guren. Their lips move fiercely. It’s strange how comfortable he already feels kissing Guren. Almost as has they had done nothing else in the past eight years.

Guren's hands slide down Shinya's back and down to his pants. He loosens the belt and carefully opens his pants. Shinya flinches as Guren's hand touches his penis through the this fabric of his boxers. Then Guren's finger slip into his boxers, stroking over his sensitive skin. Shinya can feel his face burn, but at the same time, he enjoys the excitement, that pleasant feeling spreading all across his body. Guren starts touching his erection all over, stroking, caressing, gently shoving his foreskin up and down. Gasping for breath, Shinya has to break the kiss. He pulls Guren closer and embraces his shoulders, pressing his upper body against his. It makes him feel save. Softly he moans into Guren's ear. Amused he notices that this is making Guren go faster, intensifying his grip.

But there is still too much fabric between them. Shinya starts unbuttoning Guren's shirt, while Guren is still stroking his penis. This definitely makes it a lot harder for Shinya to concentrate on the buttons. His finger slip off more often than he is actually able to open one button. Fuck this. He gives up trying and instead into the feeling of pleasure. He feels the tension rising within him, his lower body contracting. But if Guren continues, he would not be able to hold back himself much longer. This is getting way to quick. Still gasping, he grabs Guren's hand and pulls it out of his boxers.

“Get undressed,” Shinya demands in a husky voice. There are no further words needed. Guren hurries to get off his shirt himself, while Shinya stands up to take off his pants, shoes and socks. He gets undressed very fast, but as the last sock would not come off his foot, he is hopping on the spot until he manages to pull it off.

When he looks up, Guren is already undressed, just sitting there in his boxers. The bandages still cover his shoulder, but the rest of his beautiful skin is showing. Guren is sitting there, with his arms resting on his thighs, highlighting his muscular shoulders. Shinya can see the battle scars all across his skin, but this makes the sight even more gorgeous.

With gentle force Shinya pushes Guren onto the bed and further so that their full bodies are lying on the blanket. Guren is holding his head up to kiss Shinya, but Shinya pushes him down, applying gentle force with his whole body weight. It feels incredible feeling Guren's warm and soft skin against his chest, feeling him so close to him. His hands slide along his body, down into Guren's boxers and up again. The thought that they could actually have sex, makes Shinya's heart race even faster. His hands are trembling as they touch his skin. This is really happening. But right now he is way to nervous about this. Especially as he has no idea what Guren wants.

Shinya pauses, still lying on top of him. His cheeks are burning, as he does not feel as comfortable with the question as he pretends to be,

“What do you prefer in bed?”

Guren looks at him insecure. His eyes are moving around as he is thinking about this. “I…,” he starts off but then dodges a question. “What do you even mean by prefer?”

“I mean what you’d like to do. Or what you’d like me to do.”

Guren's answer is taking way to long. Shinya is unsure if Guren does not want to tell him or if he does not know it himself. Guren is not a virgin, he definitely had slept with Marihu once. He should know what he likes. But he just grumbles without giving an answer, escaping Shinya's glance. Seemingly he has not had any sex since, at least not with anyone but himself, and especially not with another guy. There way just one way for Shinya: he had to find out himself.

“I should have known you're not good with words,” Shinya whispers with a smirk and continues kissing Guren's chest, skipping the part with the bandage and moving down his abdomen. He feels Guren's body getting tense with every touch. With his hands he gently pulls down Guren's boxers revealing his penis. It is not as stiff, as Shinya expected but not unusual concerning how nervous Guren must be as well.

Shinya's lips move further. As his lips touch his glans, Guren lets out a quiet moan. Shinya lets Guren's penis slip into his mouth and strokes his tongue over it. Slowly he starts moving his mouth, supporting Guren's penis with his hand. Bit by bit his penis is getting harder again making it easier for Shinya to run his lips over it. Guren pants heavily. Shinya can clearly hear he enjoys it.

With one hand he reaches between Guren's legs. He grabs Guren's thigh and gently pushes it so the side, spreading his legs open. Shinya releases Guren's penis from his mouth and starts kissing his inner thighs. The closer he moves to his testicle, the tense Guren's body becomes.

Shinya looks up, smirking. He loves how Guren enjoys his touch, how easy it is to tease him like this. He wants to tease him even more. Shinya leans over him, gently sliding two fingers into Guren's mouth. As expected Guren starts sucking on them, stroking them with his hot and wet tongue. Shinya feels his body shiver. Guren is licking his fingers, embracing them delightfully, making Shinya feel as it actually was his penis, Gurens tongue was touching. He looks so pleased, doing this, that it is almost cute.

But he would rather want to kiss him. Shinya pulls out his fingers and and instead places his lips on Guren's. Now his sweet tongue is touching his, giving into the passionate kiss, while Shinya fingers wander between Guren's legs. With his fingers still wet with spit, he fingers for Guren's anus. As he finds it, he carefully presses against it.

Guren stops the kiss immediately. “What are you doing?” Guren asks in a shaking voice.

Shinya pauses, but keeps his finger between Guren's legs. “Should I really explain that to you? Or do you want me to stop?”

Guren's face is getting even more red than before.

“Shut up!” he hisses. He looks so cute, when he pretends to be angry especially when he is blushing all over.

“Is ‘shut up’ the synonym for ‘please continue’?”

For a few moment they are looking into each others eyes. Shinya knows that this is a fight over who will be looking away first. He almost knows the answer to his question, but he gives Guren the time to admit. Finally Guren looks away, muttering a “Ya... Continue...”

Shinya smirks, sticking his finger into his own mouth and licking over them. Then he reaches down between Guren's legs. With little pressure his finger is slipping into Guren's anus. He hears Guren gasping.

Guren is underneath him, his head is bend backwards, his mouth opened just a bit. He looks more than okay with it. Slowly Shinya starts moving his finger. Guren is trembling a little each time Shinya shoves his finger back and forth, giving out quiet moans. With his other hand, Shinya reaches out for Guren's penis, moving his foreskin up and down in the same rhythm.

Shinya is watching him. His fingers clench into the blanket, while he is moaning in lust. He can clearly see how Guren is enjoying this. It feels so rewarding having Guren under his control, making him feel pleasure and having the moaning feedback every time his finger slides into his ass.

Just as he his pulling out his finger to moisten a second one, Guren gets up, grabs him by the shoulders and throws him over his side and onto the bed. Guren is rolling on top of him, taking his wrists and pressing him onto the bed. Then he leans forward, kissing him, shoving his tongue deeper into the kiss. Applying force on Shinya, like a predator catching his prey, was Guren's way of regaining the control.

And Shinya loves the way, Guren is being dominant. He enjoys Guren's tight grip, his wet tongue against his, the way his skin rubs over his, as he moves. Right now, this even feels better than being the one in control. Shinya is willing to surrender to him, letting Guren take the lead. There is no way to escape Guren's confidence at this moment. It gives Shinya thrills.

Guren is pulling Shinya's boxers down, making him finally feel Guren's soft skin against his penis. Shinya moves his hips to get rid of the boxers completely, but as they won’t off down that easily Guren assists him, breaking their kiss for just a second, then gets back on top of him. He bends over him, for a long moment they are looking into each others eyes. Shinya loves the look on his face, his blushed cheeks, the way his hair hangs into his face, his lips slightly opened, his eyes shining with desire.

“Aren’t you going to continue?”, Shinya whispers in a way he knows it would provoke Guren.

“Shut up,” Guren replies in a soft voice. “I was.”

Then Guren takes his hand to his mouth and spits on it. With his wet hand he reaches for Shinya's penis. Shinya gives a moan. With the spit it feels even better, as the touch is warm and wet. He notices the smug smile on Guren's face. Then Guren starts moving his hand carefully.

Heat spreads inside Shinya's whole body. This feels good. Shinya's finger cling into Guren's upper arms. Guren's hand is getting faster and stronger, so that Shinya cannot even take his breath anymore. His body is trembling, the tension is too tight.

“Stop!” he gasps and Guren stops immediately. Shinya's body is still shaking.

“You want me to stop?” Guren asks teasingly stroking with his thumb over Shinya's glans. The little tease makes Shinya chuckle, but he won’t let him win.

He puts his arms around Guren and pulls him roughly down to him. With his lips close to Guren's ear he whispers,

“No, I want you to fuck me.”

With pleasure he feels Guren flinching in his arms. It is cute to see him getting all messed up by the little dirty talk. But Guren recovers quickly. He frees himself out of Shinya's embrace, with a smirk on his face, he slides two fingers in his mouth, licks them wet and let his hand move downwards and between Shinya's legs. Shinya intuitively spreads his legs, bending his knees and putting his legs up. He feels one of Guren's finger slip into him. His body is trembling as Guren starts moving his finger. Damn, he learned fast.

Guren slips in a second finger, continuing to move to them slowly but intensively. The tension is spreading all over Shinya's body, he is panting heavily. Guren bends over him, pausing his movement and gently spreading his fingers within him. Shinya lets himself fall deeper into the feeling, bending his back, clinching his fingers into Guren's shoulders.

“Like this?” Guren asks smirkingly, gently kissing Shinya's neck.

“No, with your dick, dumbass," Shinya gasps. He knows he wants Guren, he wants him inside of him. But he cannot leave this teasing unsaid.

“If I had only known that…,” Guren chuckles and pulls his fingers out and spits on his hand once again, then he reaches for his own penis. He leans forward, trying to find the right position. Shinya's heart is pounding in his chest. But as Guren has some problems finding the right angle, Shinya intervenes supporting Guren's penis to hit the right spot. With a little pressure Guren penis slides inside him.

Shinya gasps and lets himself fall backwards. This is a lot more intense. He can feel Guren filling him up. His whole body is on fire. 

“Like this?” Guren's asks ins a husky voice, also panting heavily.

“Yes,” Shinya whispers smiling, but he cannot say anything more as Guren starts moving his hips making Shinya groan. Slowly but steady Guren begins sliding his penis inside of him and out a bit. With every thrust can feel his body flinching with pleasure while Guren increases the speed.

But Shinya wants more. He want to feel like he’s dominated by Guren, he wants this lovely bastard to take control over him. Making himself surrender to him. With one hand he stops Guren and carefully pulls back his hips from Guren, only to roll over his side. He kneels before Guren and he immediately understands, bending over him and sliding his penis back inside him.

Shinya's fingers cling into the blanket. He feels Guren's breath on his neck, his strong arms, next to him, his big penis moving rapidly inside him. This. This is exactly how he wanted it. With one hand he is stroking his own penis. Guren is moving into him in a constant rhythm.

The tension is almost unbearable, Shinya whole body feels comfortably numb all over. He hears himself moaning lustfully in the rhythm and panting for air. Guren's hand is reaching for his, embracing his fingers. He is almost there. With one last hit, the tension releases at once in a wave of heat, making his whole body tremble uncontrollable, but so rewarding.

Three strokes more and he hears Guren moaning. His whole body is trembling as well, as he is clinging to him. Shinya loves to feel him losing himself over his orgasm as well. For a few moments they remain in this position, Guren still holding on to him. Then the exhaustion kicks in and both lets themselves fall to the side.

Shinyas hand is full of sticky cum, as well as the sheets next to him. But in this moment is does not matter, he feels satisfied, almost happy. And it does not seem to matter for Guren as well in that moment. Still inside him, he puts his arms around him, embracing him, pulling him closer. He feels a soft kiss on the neck. Shinya did not know that Guren was the cuddly type.

For a few moments, they lie like this, until Guren gently pulls himself out. But he remains lying on the bed as Shinya gets up.

“Guren, you got any tissues?”

Guren opens his eyes and looks at Shinya, at Shinya's hand, then to the blanket and gives out a sound of surprise, “Oh -”

He thinks for one moment, then he comes up with the simple answer, “Why don’t you take the sheets? They are dirty anyways.”

For one moment, Shinya is actually amazed by this simple but rational answer until he remember it’s Guren he’s talking to. When it comes to the simple things, he never actually thinks further than the obvious. But that makes him Guren. Smiling, Shinya takes the sheets, wipes his hands and penis and throws them off the bed. Then he falls back next to Guren.

“I like how you think, Guren,” Shinya acknowledges but Guren's answer is just a grumble.

Shinya is laying a few centimeters next to him. It feels strange, to have this distance between them again, as they had been so close some seconds ago. But Shinya feels, it is the proper distance for two friends.

“It felt good, huh?” Shinya asks resting his head in one hand and leaning slightly to one side. “I especially liked the part when you were begging me to continue.”

Shinya can see Guren's face turn pink and he avoids Shinya's glance. “Says the one, who was begging me to fuck him.”

“You seemed like you needed some persuasion.”

“Shut up, Shinya,” Guren grumbles, but Shinya can see a light smile flitting over his lips,

“You feel better now?”

“Mhmm…”

“Great. Then I think I will leave now,” Shinya says lifting himself up, but Guren reaches for his wrist. Surprised Shinya turns towards him.

“You can stay”, Guren says in a calm voice.

“You’re serious?”

“Yes, but for fucks sake, put on some cloth!”

“Says the one, lying in bed naked,” Shinya smirks. He frees himself out of Guren's grip and gets up form the bed.

“At least it’s my bed!”

Shinya picks up Guren's boxers and throws them at him. “Here!” Confused Guren is catching his boxers. Then Shinya grabs his own cloths. “Can I use your shower?”

“Go ahead.”

Shinya has almost left the room as he stops on the door step and turns around to Guren, “Don’t do any dirty stuff, while I’m gone.”

“You wish!”

The pillow misses him only by an inch.

“You missed,” he points out and dodges the second one.

“Go take a shower!”

Shinya laughs and leaves the room. His mind is full of thoughts, while he is clinging to the cloths in his arms. This really happened. He actually slept with Guren. He slept with his best friend. He cannot even recall, how it ended up like this. He just knows that it kind of makes him happy. His body feels great, exhausted but satisfied, and he cannot even stop smiling. Though he knows that this would not change anything. By tomorrow they will continue to be nothing more than friends.

But does that even matter? As long as it makes them both happy?

Chapter Text

When Shinya wakes up the next morning, he feels an arm wrapped around his waist. It takes him some time to realize where he is, and that it is not his arm, resting on his stomach.
Half asleep, he turns around and finds Guren’s head nestling against his side. His eyes are closed, his breath is quiet and steady. Seemingly he is still sound asleep.

Shinya can feel a smile flittering over his face. It was rather uncommon to see Guren being asleep that quietly. The last time Shinya had seen him like this, Guren had fallen asleep in the car several weeks ago. He always looks cute when he falls asleep, almost innocent. But Shinya can not remember to have seen him this content while sleeping.

His body is halfway wrapped within the blanket, one leg showing. The other half of the blanket is wrapped around his own hips. Shinya remembers Guren giving his one left spare blanket to him last night. He had denied to need one for the night, but he unconsciously seemed to have changed his mind during the night, sneakingly stealing it from Shinya. At least half of it.

Shinya carefully rises his arm, considered not to wake up Guren and gently places his hand on his head. Slowly he starts to run his fingers through Guren’s hair, tangling some strands around his fingertips and stroking his head. Guren is making soft noises in his sleep.

He could get used to this. The thought flashes through Shinya’s mind, instantly making his cheeks glow. What was he thinking? He could never get used to this, as this might not even happen again. He tries to talk himself out of it. But he could enjoy this moment a little longer, couldn’t he?

For a while he stays like this. Lost in his thoughts he watches Guren’s chest rise and fall again until Guren slowly starts to move. At first it is his lips that hardly twitch, before his arms and legs start to move a bit. Gradually he opens his eyes.

It takes some time for him to react. His glance wanders around before the is looking up.

"Shinya?" he asks in a soft voice, but instantly freezes. His eyes widen. Quickly he pulls back his arm and tries to back away.

But with gentle force Shinya is holding his head in place.
“It’s okay,” he whispers.

There are no further words needed. Guren immediately stops his tries to get away. Shinya can feel the tension in Gurens body release a bit, while his face is turning red. Still not totally comfortable with the situation, but seemingly accepting it.

He is lying quietly next to him, avoiding Shinya's glance. Shinya can feel Gurens body quiver from his fast pacing heart beat. But his own heartbeat is steady and calm. The heartbeat of a sniper.

Carefully Shinya starts moving his fingers, petting Gurens head and running his fingers through his hair. Gurens face relaxes more and more, though his heart is still racing. Shinya feels it against his skin. For a while they are just lying like this, before Guren breaks the silence.

“Are we done now?” he grumbles angrily. Though his body reaction clearly tells another story.

“Oh, Guren. If you keep acting like this, you will never be a good wife,” Shinya sighs pretended and pulls away his hand. Though he would have loved to keep it there.

“As if I would want that…”

“What do you want then?” Shinya finds Gurens glance. They are still lying next to each other, staring into each others eyes. The memories of the last night are coming back. Wasn’t that what started it all.

Seemingly Guren also notices it, but tries very hard to hide it.
“Not being woken up by an idiot in the morning.”

“Sounds familiar... I also was woken up by an idiot drooling on my T-shirt.”

“It’s my T-shirt,” Guren replies in a dry voice.

Shinya looks down on himself. In fact. That was Guren’s T-shirt, he was wearing. Guren had let him borrow it for the night.
He laughs. “Nevermind. It’s not so tragic then.”

“You’re an idiot!”

“Who’s the idiot here?” Shinya laughs, punching Guren playful in the side.

“Stop it!” Guren tries to push him away, taking him by the wrists and shoving him back. He is not using any force or technique, but Shinya’s instincts are kicking in. With one small movement he frees himself out of Gurens grip, bringing himself up, right over Guren and pushing him down on the bed.

It happened so fast that he did not even realize himself. Not until he is already lying on top of Guren, having Gurens body and hands fixed under him, without Guren offering any resistance. He would not have won, if Guren had fought back. But he didn't.

Shinya is staring down to him. For once he cannot read anything in Gurens expression. He is just staring at him. Shinya’s heart is racing. Guren must feel it as their chests are touching. So much for the Sniper Heart. Why does it fail in such a dumb moment? It should be nothing.

Slowly Shinya releases his grip, waiting for Guren to take revenge on him. But the impact does not happen. Guren rises his hand, gently laying it on Shinyas cheek. What is happening here? He can feel the soft touch of Guren's fingertips on his face. Guren still just looks into his eyes, with this unexplainable expression. He would not -

With gently pressure Guren pulls Shinyas head down to him and into a kiss. Shinya’s whole body freezes in surprise. Guren’s lips press onto his, but only for a brief moment. Guren slightly breaks the kiss, running his fingers gently over Shinya’s cheek and seeking for his glance.

It is as Guren would ask him, if it was okay to do this. Damn. Shinya curses himself in his thoughts. He thought he made it clear for himself. That is was a one time thing. Why does he still want it so badly in this moment? Why he does so badly want to kiss Guren?

He closes the gap between their lips, ignoring the voice inside him, crying for him to stop right there. It just feels so right, to do it. He feels Guren’s tongue gently opening his lips and his arms pulling him closer into the kiss.

The kiss is much more gentle than last night, not that hesitantly and not that rough. It is rather playful how Guren is touching his lips, his tongue. How he is running his fingers through Shinyas hair, softly caressing his head.

Shinya breaks the kiss smiling. “So you liked the head fondling from before."

“What?”

Shinya rests on his forearms, gently touching Gurens cheeks and face “You know what I mean…”

“No… I didn't enjoy it,” Guren says, rolling his eyes and avoiding Shinya’s glance. Which is not that easy, as he is lying under him, so he just turn his head, blushing slightly.

“So...” Shinya leans close to his ear and whispers in a seductive voice, “You’re saying you didn’t enjoy the sex as well?”

He feels Guren flinching under him.

“Shut up,” Guren hisses. “You’re terrible in bed.”

“Oh Guren, that sounded very different last night.”

“You’re a terrible kisser!”

“Try me!”

Guren is slightly turning his head to get a glimpse of Shinya. His face is reddend, but his glance is fiercely.
“Is this another way of saying, ‘I want you to fuck me’?”

Shinya had expected anything but this. Startled he stares at him, before he adds smiling,
“Maybe…”

He leans forward and kisses him again. Sure he would want to. But he definitely shouldn’t. He should stop it, right here and now, before anyone gets seriously hurt. It was not worth it. But the way Guren is kissing him back, is making him want nothing more than to be close to him right now. Touching him, feeling him.

Shinya lets himself fall so deep into the kiss, blocking out everything around him. Gurens fingers are running over his back, pushing his T-Shirt aside. There is only him and Guren. His hands move over his sides and downwards into his boxers. Fuck it, he could stop loving this bastard once they are done.