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Do what makes you happy

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When Shinya wakes up the next morning, he feels an arm wrapped around his waist. It takes him some time to realize where he is, and that it is not his arm, resting on his stomach.
Half asleep, he turns around and finds Guren’s head nestling against his side. His eyes are closed, his breath is quiet and steady. Seemingly he is still sound asleep.

Shinya can feel a smile flittering over his face. It was rather uncommon to see Guren being asleep that quietly. The last time Shinya had seen him like this, Guren had fallen asleep in the car several weeks ago. He always looks cute when he falls asleep, almost innocent. But Shinya can not remember to have seen him this content while sleeping.

His body is halfway wrapped within the blanket, one leg showing. The other half of the blanket is wrapped around his own hips. Shinya remembers Guren giving his one left spare blanket to him last night. He had denied to need one for the night, but he unconsciously seemed to have changed his mind during the night, sneakingly stealing it from Shinya. At least half of it.

Shinya carefully rises his arm, considered not to wake up Guren and gently places his hand on his head. Slowly he starts to run his fingers through Guren’s hair, tangling some strands around his fingertips and stroking his head. Guren is making soft noises in his sleep.

He could get used to this. The thought flashes through Shinya’s mind, instantly making his cheeks glow. What was he thinking? He could never get used to this, as this might not even happen again. He tries to talk himself out of it. But he could enjoy this moment a little longer, couldn’t he?

For a while he stays like this. Lost in his thoughts he watches Guren’s chest rise and fall again until Guren slowly starts to move. At first it is his lips that hardly twitch, before his arms and legs start to move a bit. Gradually he opens his eyes.

It takes some time for him to react. His glance wanders around before the is looking up.

"Shinya?" he asks in a soft voice, but instantly freezes. His eyes widen. Quickly he pulls back his arm and tries to back away.

But with gentle force Shinya is holding his head in place.
“It’s okay,” he whispers.

There are no further words needed. Guren immediately stops his tries to get away. Shinya can feel the tension in Gurens body release a bit, while his face is turning red. Still not totally comfortable with the situation, but seemingly accepting it.

He is lying quietly next to him, avoiding Shinya's glance. Shinya can feel Gurens body quiver from his fast pacing heart beat. But his own heartbeat is steady and calm. The heartbeat of a sniper.

Carefully Shinya starts moving his fingers, petting Gurens head and running his fingers through his hair. Gurens face relaxes more and more, though his heart is still racing. Shinya feels it against his skin. For a while they are just lying like this, before Guren breaks the silence.

“Are we done now?” he grumbles angrily. Though his body reaction clearly tells another story.

“Oh, Guren. If you keep acting like this, you will never be a good wife,” Shinya sighs pretended and pulls away his hand. Though he would have loved to keep it there.

“As if I would want that…”

“What do you want then?” Shinya finds Gurens glance. They are still lying next to each other, staring into each others eyes. The memories of the last night are coming back. Wasn’t that what started it all.

Seemingly Guren also notices it, but tries very hard to hide it.
“Not being woken up by an idiot in the morning.”

“Sounds familiar... I also was woken up by an idiot drooling on my T-shirt.”

“It’s my T-shirt,” Guren replies in a dry voice.

Shinya looks down on himself. In fact. That was Guren’s T-shirt, he was wearing. Guren had let him borrow it for the night.
He laughs. “Nevermind. It’s not so tragic then.”

“You’re an idiot!”

“Who’s the idiot here?” Shinya laughs, punching Guren playful in the side.

“Stop it!” Guren tries to push him away, taking him by the wrists and shoving him back. He is not using any force or technique, but Shinya’s instincts are kicking in. With one small movement he frees himself out of Gurens grip, bringing himself up, right over Guren and pushing him down on the bed.

It happened so fast that he did not even realize himself. Not until he is already lying on top of Guren, having Gurens body and hands fixed under him, without Guren offering any resistance. He would not have won, if Guren had fought back. But he didn't.

Shinya is staring down to him. For once he cannot read anything in Gurens expression. He is just staring at him. Shinya’s heart is racing. Guren must feel it as their chests are touching. So much for the Sniper Heart. Why does it fail in such a dumb moment? It should be nothing.

Slowly Shinya releases his grip, waiting for Guren to take revenge on him. But the impact does not happen. Guren rises his hand, gently laying it on Shinyas cheek. What is happening here? He can feel the soft touch of Guren's fingertips on his face. Guren still just looks into his eyes, with this unexplainable expression. He would not -

With gently pressure Guren pulls Shinyas head down to him and into a kiss. Shinya’s whole body freezes in surprise. Guren’s lips press onto his, but only for a brief moment. Guren slightly breaks the kiss, running his fingers gently over Shinya’s cheek and seeking for his glance.

It is as Guren would ask him, if it was okay to do this. Damn. Shinya curses himself in his thoughts. He thought he made it clear for himself. That is was a one time thing. Why does he still want it so badly in this moment? Why he does so badly want to kiss Guren?

He closes the gap between their lips, ignoring the voice inside him, crying for him to stop right there. It just feels so right, to do it. He feels Guren’s tongue gently opening his lips and his arms pulling him closer into the kiss.

The kiss is much more gentle than last night, not that hesitantly and not that rough. It is rather playful how Guren is touching his lips, his tongue. How he is running his fingers through Shinyas hair, softly caressing his head.

Shinya breaks the kiss smiling. “So you liked the head fondling from before."

“What?”

Shinya rests on his forearms, gently touching Gurens cheeks and face “You know what I mean…”

“No… I didn't enjoy it,” Guren says, rolling his eyes and avoiding Shinya’s glance. Which is not that easy, as he is lying under him, so he just turn his head, blushing slightly.

“So...” Shinya leans close to his ear and whispers in a seductive voice, “You’re saying you didn’t enjoy the sex as well?”

He feels Guren flinching under him.

“Shut up,” Guren hisses. “You’re terrible in bed.”

“Oh Guren, that sounded very different last night.”

“You’re a terrible kisser!”

“Try me!”

Guren is slightly turning his head to get a glimpse of Shinya. His face is reddend, but his glance is fiercely.
“Is this another way of saying, ‘I want you to fuck me’?”

Shinya had expected anything but this. Startled he stares at him, before he adds smiling,
“Maybe…”

He leans forward and kisses him again. Sure he would want to. But he definitely shouldn’t. He should stop it, right here and now, before anyone gets seriously hurt. It was not worth it. But the way Guren is kissing him back, is making him want nothing more than to be close to him right now. Touching him, feeling him.

Shinya lets himself fall so deep into the kiss, blocking out everything around him. Gurens fingers are running over his back, pushing his T-Shirt aside. There is only him and Guren. His hands move over his sides and downwards into his boxers. Fuck it, he could stop loving this bastard once they are done.