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„Going Nowhere“ by Modstep & Dion Timmer


Way to early Jason gets dragged out out of his light sleep by his nightmares. He spent half of the night rolling from one side to the other, sweating and clenching.

It´s still dark outside, slowly the horizon is markable as a grey stroke and he can sense the outlines of the bunker in the pale semidarkness. The moon is still high up in the sky, a thin sickle that barely causes any light and seems more like a scrawny finger then a heavenly body .

He dreamed of Liza and home, remembered how they got together and what an up and down their relationship was until now. There has always been this faint doubt that the thing she had going on with Steve, her ex boyfriend, wasn´t really over yet and it got confirmed in his dream. He was able to see all those little things that made him doubt her honesty and it hurt him unspeakable.

But is it really a surprise that she prefers the organized, better paid and more intellectual Steve over him? He didn´t even manage to get a job after High School until she procured him the job at her ex boyfriends work. What a humiliation.

Citra crept her way in his head right after and he dreamed about her smooth skin, her tight breasts and her beautiful face. She whispered gentle and teasing things and he let himself fall in her touch but something seemed wrong. Something oppressed and gnawed on him subconsciously, something he couldn´t describe with words, more so with feelings.

It felt like something was blinding him, as if her words and her presence would daze him and take the ability to think clear. As if he was missing something important and this feeling didn´t left, despite the erotic and wet fantasy.

His mind wanderd to Vaas and he saw him once again in front of him through the bamboo bars, with his insane and chased look. He once again pressed his hands on Grants wound and felt the weaker getting pulse in the tips of his fingers. Listend to Vaas´ tirade as he tried burning him and Liza alive.

He soaked his definition of insanity up and played it like a never ending matra again and again in his head while he plunged down this cenote, tied up, again and again.

He felt irrepressible hate and sheer fear. His mind tried to unsolve the haphazardly lined up words of this maniac and he only lost himself more and more in them and felt insane himself in the end.

´Who give you that ink, hmm? Citra give you that ink? My sister give you that ink, huh?´

´You think that makes you one of us? You think that makes you like me, huh?´

´It´s really too bad that Citra had to ink you up. Because now the only way to kill you is to erase you completely.´

He finally jolts awake by the picture of Vaas thrusting the dagger into his chest and his face changing to Citras, a fond smile on her lips followed by the bittersweet and gentle words „You´re a warrior Jason…“

Jason sits sweating in the damp sleepingbag and tries to take a deep breath to calm down his racing heart.

„It was just a dream, everything´s alright. It´s over soon and this bullshit means nothing. Nothing. It´s just the stress.“

He clings to this words like a drowing man and swallows the tight bump in his throat with effort.

It takes a long time for him to finally calm down enough so his hands won´t tremble anymore. The sun already crawled over the horizon and dips the jungle in red fire. It would be a breathtaking view if Jason would´nt be distracted by the quiet Dubstep music that still resounds over the iland.

Jason strechtes and his back cracks and he takes a noisy yawn while he scratches his hurting shoulder. It´s time to move on and he does´nt want to dawdle and packs his rucksack.

He only takes the most important stuff with him and stowes the backpack underneath a pile of leaves and sticks, hoping that some roaming pirate won´t spot it right away. The only things he takes with him are his machete, the bow, a pistol and a few of the medicine suringes, to that the small flask filled with potion. If everything goes as planned he will sneak into the camp and operate from the ambush, kill Vaas without causing a great stir and leave quickly.

He does´nt want to fight against a whole piratefortress on drugs but he still packs some granades just in case something goes wrong. Better safe than sorry.

It´s a good sign that the music is still playing, the pirates are´nt patrolling yet. It should be easy breaking into the fortress, Jason does´nt expect a lot of a guards and even if so they´re probably all drunk or high as balls.

He feels a little bit like he did right before he fought against Buck. The adrenaline rushes through his veins and causes an unpleasant but still familiar tingling, goosebumps form on his head and a tremor urges through his spine, over his guts to the outside. If he could see his own eyes right now he would look into drastically dilated pupils that cover the watery blue green of his irises almost completely.

In the doorway he turns around and notices that he removed all traces succesfully and nodds satisfied. He turns and heads to the north, to the noise and his actual goal. Vaas.

He´s progressing slowly, it´s a hot and humid day and it feels like he is swallowing the air. The sun stings on his head and burns his naked arms, he is´nt noticing it much, all he can perceive is the kick. His machete cuts almost blindly through the thick undergrowth and it´s barely audible over the noisy screaming oft he jungle, he´s entirely one with his surroundings.

It almost takes him the whole morning to arrive the small shore across from the pirateisland. With one last jerk he makes sure that every weapon is in place, then jumps right into the waves.

The water is pleasing warm and the stream is soft, thank god too flat for sharks. With strong moves Jason plows through the waves and swims to the small weathered dock where any boat that wants to visit or leave the island has to stop.

There´s only one isolated pirate visible on the pier, he moves unsteady from one end to the other, bawling and taking a sip of his dirty brown bottle from time to time.

Jason only understands some of the scrap words and the guy does´nt take care of his surroundings one bit, just like he suspected.

He dives in precautionary, swims directly underneath the man, jumps out oft he water and kills him in a matter of seconds with a targeted cut of his knife.

A little smirk creeps onto his face, it is in his blood. The killing.

In a crouched position he moves along the abadoned dock and hides in the bushes as soon as he leaves the rotten wood. The music gets louder and now Jason is able to spot voices and screaming, fusillade and the rustling of bottles.

Right in front of him he observes loud whining and panicked crying, multiple men are swearing and bawling and he cowers deeper into the bush, peeking through the solid scrub. In the middle oft he road lies a young woman, a local Rakyat, enslaved for prostitution. Two pirates bend over her, one is hitting her and threating her with a knife, the other one laughs and grabs his crotch, drinking from his bottle.

They scream filthy things Jason has never heard about und menace her in a different language he can´t understand. Though the gestures they make are more then unambiguously as one man grabs her by the hair and holds her down while the other one opens his belt and pulls down his pants.

´Time to intervene.´

Jason dashes forward and stabs the guy with the pulled down pants through his throat. Blood splatters and he feels him twitching at the base of his machete. It´s a good feeling.

The woman gets bathed in the blood of the gurgling pirate and screams raucous. The other pirate doesn´t get what just happend and holds the woman down, moves up his head and watches how Jason pulls out the knife of his friend and lets go oft he Rakyat, grabbing his gun.

He fires two shots, then Jason is by his side and cuts his throat as well. With a quiet gurgling voice the guy slumps and Jason drags them both into the bush. As he moves around to look after the young woman, his eyes jump to the gaping holes in her chest and he grimaces. This asshole got her with his bullets.

Jason also drags her corpse off the road and moves on. The path is lined on both sides with giant rocks and it makes it harder for him to move along unrecognized. As the jungle gets lighter and a crumlby concretewall comes in sight Jason starts crouching again and pulls out his camera.

Theres a sniper to the right on a small bamboo tower, he does´nt seem to be wary but still holds his gun at the ready. To the left in front of a big iron gate are two pirates walking vigilant up and down, accompanied by two dogs. It appears too easy to Jason and the music echoes deafening so he decides to no longer sneak and to make a quick process.

At first he kills the sniper with his bow, crawls underneath the tower and shoots an arrow through his head. The man is dead immediately and Jason climbs the tower. The sight is good up here at the two pirates and their dogs. If he does´nt want them to hit the alarm he either has to be quick or lure them away from each other.

He tends towards the first option an raises his arms, draws the bow and aims at first towards the dogs that stroll a little to the side through the bushes. They croak noiseless and he turns to their owners.

The first one gets shot in the middle of the chest, while the two pirates laugh together and rais their bottles. Jason hears the other one scream „shit!“ and quickly pulls another arrow and hits him in the thigh. The guy shrieks like crazy and Jason jumps off the tower crosses the field and slamms the knife into his face.

His Heart flickers in his chest, hes overwhelmed by euphoria and pulls the machete with a slurp out off the man´s head. It feels good, so fucking good, like winnning. It feels right.

It seems that the pirates inside the camp didn´t notice what happend, the music is still playing and Jason hears the men screaming and jeering. His eyes search the concretewall and he discovers a small ledge a few meters next to the frontgate.

With quick movements he climbs up on the liana that infested and crushes the wall slowly with it´s deadly hug. Right above him is a little roof, he´s in the shade and hides behind a few barrels.

Through the wire fence he catches a look on the pirates that are scatternd around a few makeshift poledancebars to watch almost naked girls dance. None of them is going to keep an eye on him.

The courtyard is dusty and easy to overlook. To his left the road contuniues to climb up the small hill and dissapears in some sort of warehouse. On the front to both sides are empty buildings that seem to be used as barracks.

Jason believes that the actual camp starts behind the warehous and he´s sure that he has to go through it. It should work if he only stays close to the barracks.

The excitement starts to mix with his euphoria and the light tingle of panic gets noticeable. So it´s getting serious. For one momment he considers drinking the potion right now but puts the flask back.

Citra told him that the potion unfolds its full effect in less then a quarter hour. He should at least be close to Vaas. Otherwise it would be hard for him to focus on the essentials.

Theres a heavy steel door next to him that opens to the side and he pulls it slowly to the left. The door shrieks creaky and he pauses to check if someone noticed it. But the pirates in the court pay no attention to him so Jason squeezes through the small opening and enters the musty and dark room.

His eyes accustom slow to the darkness and he recognizes a bunch of televisions, a few desks and knocked over chairs. The empty windowopenings are covered with planks and leave little to no light through the small cracks. Dust is dancing in thin rays of light and the air inside is surprisingly dry and stuffy.

Jason notices in one corner of the room a bunch of pallettes stacked with cocain and he plans to set them on fire later.

Slow and crouched he works his way through the barracks and creeps down small stairs. The music sounds muted through the brakish walls and wooden boards and he listens for voices or footstamps.

Back outside he skulks around a building that releases loud moaning and screaming. It should disgust and scare him but he barely even notices it. He only has one thing in his head and that´s Vaas. Everything inside him burns to finally meet him and to let him pay for what he did to him.

Everything else is irrelevant.

He reaches the end of the building and the yard spreads in front of him. Two men are leaving the house and he pants and jumps behind the ledge. They didn´t notice him yet but one of them is heading directly towards him.

„I need to fucking pee man, my cock burns like fire and I don´t know what this fucking whore gave me this time.“

The other one laughs dirty and barks „That´s why you took her bloody, no?“

The pirate comes around the edge and opens his pants while walking and Jason jumps out of his cover and smashes his head against the wall. His jaw breaks with a nasty crack and a hard punch against his temple knocks him finally out. Jason waits for a moment and the other guy stamps from one foot to the other in front oft he barrack.

„Hurry up man the boss wants to see us. You know how he snaps if we don´t jump right away when he barks.“

Jason presses himself even harder against the wall as the other guy walks around the corner.

„Hey asshole, why is this taking…“

He isn´t able to talk much more and gets the same fate like his friend did with the result of Jason breaking his neck and the man dying right away. Theres no time for him to celebrate his small victory, he needs to move on, needs to finally reach the end.

He carefully squints around the corner and discovers the warehouse in some distance. The red gate is opend a small gap wide and he has to run fast accross the open field to get inside and he could lock it from there.

Right in front of him is a tiny ledge with a rail and with an easiness that the adrenaline bestows him he pulls himself over it and dissapears behind the nex row of buildings. Theres little going on here, Jason can see a pirate in the distance, hes throwing up, other then that hes alone. It´s the perfect ambush.

Jason crouches and pulls out the small flask. He´s not sure what exactly awaits him behind the warehouse and doesn´t want to wait any longer.

With a long sip he empties the tiny vessel and gasp and tips over forward, coughing. He immediately feels sick and tries to throw up, swallows with difficulty his gastric acid mixed with the liquid.

The potion is viscous and thick and feels like an oily film in Jasons throat. The foul taste of rot won´t leave his tounge, no matter how hard he swallows and spits out saliva. He needs a moment to catch himself then pulls himself up and staggers along the wall.

He´s dizzy and holds his stomach, his view blurrs and his ears tingle. It feels unreal, he can´t feel the ground under his feet and experiences the feeling of falling. The puking pirate comes closer and Jason sees his contours through a radiant fog, slighty distorted and blurry.

His hearing is hypersensible and he believes to notice everything down to the smallest detail and to decompose it in his head to their original ingedrienst. The throaty chocking sounds the man makes, the hurt moaning and screaming, the hoarse grunting and the cracking of bottles, over that the teared up screeching of the music. Ist way too much, too loud and it seems like he´s the only human in the world, all the others are ghostly schemes and colors.

He follows his instinct and keeps moving towards the pirate, throws himself onto him and drags him to the ground to smother him with bare hands. Theres a strentgh to his arms that he never noticed before, an urge to kill and a gentle voice that whispers what he is supposed to do. He does´nt really remember why he´s here, all he does is following his intuition that impels him to move.

He eventually arrives at the end of the building. The open gate flickers weird and he heads towards it, stumbles over his own feet but still manages to get to it. Screaming turns up behind him but he won´t turn around and squeezes through the gap that appears to him like the opening of a pitchblack maw.

Inside it´s almost completely dark and the black emptiness swallos him. To his left he discerns the light contours of a gateway and stumbles towards it, the nausea comes up and besides that an unknown and intoxicating feeling. He doesn´t understand it and it feels like he´s dissolving.

Suddenly the gate behind him closes with a loud bang and the room lights up, barrels explode and a voice, ghastly through a speaker and terribly familiar reaches him through the chaos.

„Surprise Motherfucker! You didn´t think I knew you were coming, right? I am so dissapointed! You showed so much promise, Jason. So much fucking promise! Now here you are trapped in the boxes of life like a fucking rat. And the thing is, I did not bring you here. You walked in here by your own goddamn self! And that´s what Citra does to you, right? She turn you fuckers into rats and now I have to deal with the rodent problem. But, that´s what brothers are good for, right?“

Right next to him another barrel explodes and the bang seems to tear his eardrums apart. He pants and jumps through the gateway, his eyes are watering because of the acrid smoke and he can´t breathe, everything is spinning and he doesn´t know where to go.

The voice keeps talking to him, he can´t figure out where it´s comming from and wanders around blind, it gets darker even though the fire burns with a fervent power that threatens to devour everything.

„Oh, Jason, Jason, Jason! You come to fuck with me in my own house for a bitch, for Ctra and you bend not a sinlge fucking finger for your own brother? You fucking bastard!“

His words are like poision, they scoff themselves inside his brain and choke him; Pictures appear in front of his inner eye, Grant dying in his arms, his life flowing out of his body with every twitch of his carotid.

The Picture flickers and gets displaced over and over again by Citras breasts that dance up and down while she´s riding him. Then how she stabs the knife into his chest and how her face turns into Vaas´ and back.

He wants to throw up and gasps, the smoke pollutes his lunges and burns him from inside. The words are true, so true and send a shiver through his body, panic overcomes him. He betrayed Grant, Riley, his friends, his family.

´Do it for me, for my tribe, for the Rakyat and become a true warrior!´

„Don´t worry, hermano, don´t worry. I don´t like my family either. When you meet me, OK? When you see me, you better thank me, because I am gonna free your soul.“

It´s as if his words get through the cotton that seems to surround him. He believes to understand something in them, but he isn´t entirely sure. His sight turns black and he fights his way forward, not even sure if he´s walking or floating. His breath is racing and his feelings surge up and down. Memories flash through his head, memories of Vaas, of Citra, Riley, Grant, Liza, his mother, America.

Everything blurrs and he looses himself, can´t catch his identity and witnesses how he drifts away more and more.

„Jason, look at you. I mean look at you. Stupid motherfucking white boy. You come here in my fucking jungle and you think you´re a fucking warrior, you think you know what it takes to fucking kill?“

´Become a true Rakyat warrior.´

´First time I ever killed was for my sister.´

´All the Tataus will be yours.´

´ But that was not enough for her.´

´Let go of everything, sacrifice yourself to me and the tribe.´

´Them or me? Me or them?´

And all oft he sudden theres nothing left but the black emptiness. He´s falling and theres nothing to hold on to, his ego dissapears and he gasps and pants.

Then a path, consisting of flickering televisions. He looks around, still gasping for air and looks down but can´t see his body. A Picture appears, of him or what he supposes to be himself.

It flares and shifts into a different man, a man he knows very well but he can´t figure out who he is. Both oft hem put a gun on their temple, ready to pull the trigger.

´Who are you, Jason Brody?´

He keeps wandering along the path, senses that he has to do this, that theres no going back.

´You are strong, powerfull.´

A different immage appears of a beautiful woman that dances lascivious around a pole. She turns into the man and it doesn´t appear less arousing to him, it confuses and hypnotises him.

´The world is on a diagonal. I am the balancing point.´

He sees himself, sees how he has sex with this lovely and formidable woman, sees how the man has sex with her. He feels like him, is able to feel the bonding, something unspeakable, something deep, abysmally.

The man is right in front of him, flickering and diped in cold light, he moves towards him, shifts slow and sneering.

„Are you enjoying my sister´s company? Huh? She´s gonna make a warrior out of you.“

´All the Tataus will be yours.´

The woman. The knife in his chest. Everything plays within seconds in his head, he wants to kill her, wants to erase her, doesn´t want to let her get to him. Loves her. Hates her. Deifies her and still wants to annihilate her.

The man comes closer, his eyes are clear, deep like the sea and Jason sees his own future in them.

„You are so fucked, Jason. C´mon pull the trigger.“

The man grabs his hands and presses the gun to his own forehead and screams „C´mon motherfucker. Pull the trigger! Let´s go, shoot me!“

Jason can´t, in the moment he wants to pull the trigger, the moment he wants to end this vision, the picture changes to his own face thats screaming at him. He pulls back and the figure turns into smoke.

Something keeps him moving on, he can sense it, feels the bond between him and the other man. They both are the same person, he can see his whole life spread out and his future, sees himself in the other man, witnesses the hate, the desparation, the fear, the insanity as if those are his own thoughts.

„Take me into your heart. Accept me as your savior. Nail me to the fucking cross and let me be reborn!“

Then he´s by his side, pulls out the dagger, vaguely noticing the request in his head to do it, to end it. To become a warrior.

´Do it for her, for the tribe, for the Tatau and end it.´

He raises his arms and the other man blocks his attack, the knife slips out of his hand and falls to the ground, he can´t get it, does´nt want to get it, needs to get it.

His eyes snap up, fear and panic is flooding him and blue, of hate and madness contorted eyes drill into his, send shivers over his back and eat him alive.

He failed, he knows it.

„We are so fucked, Jason.“