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In a Million Alternatives, I Would Choose You

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"Hi, sorry to bother you, ma'am, but are you Lena Luthor?"

"Yes, I am, sir. Who are you?"

"Oh, I'm no one. Your family asked me to give you a message if you don't mind."

Before Lena could react, the short man was reaching for something inside his coat. She looked down, trying to see what was it, and she only had a second to gasp in shock before it all happened. She tried to take a step back, to turn and run, but he pulled the trigger before her heel even touched the ground and the wind was knocked from her.

It was nothing like she experienced before, not surprising considering she was never shot before either, but it was a strange feeling. She didn't felt it at first, it was like he had punched her in the stomach and pushed her to the ground. In fact, in the first moment, all she felt was the hard concrete under her, her hands scratching against it, her back and shoulders hitting the ground painfully.

Lena looked up to where the man was standing, now over her, gun still pointed directly at her and decided she was not going down looking scared. She raised her chin and looked at the man in the eyes while waiting for him to give his last shot, but it never came. A blur rushed pass her and suddenly the man wasn't there anymore. She blinked and the world around her started moving again, people were screaming, sirens went off, cameras were flashing, it was a mess and she almost wished her brain would go slow motion again because it was overwhelming.

"Lena!"

She had no idea where that voice came from, but she recognized it immediately. A second later, or maybe it was a little more and her brain was failing her again, there were hands over her body, making pressure and opening coats and pushing her skirt down a little bit.

"Lena, it's going to be okay. The ambulance is around the corner. Until they get here I need to make pressure to stop the bleeding, okay?"

Lena wanted to raise her hand and touch Alex's arm to tell her it was fine, she was fine, but her body wasn't on board with that. Her hand couldn't move, her tongue felt like a strange organ inside her mouth and her eyes couldn't focus on Alex that much anymore. And then she felt it, the gunshot wound, she felt it when Alex placed her palm against it and she wished she could push the woman away.

It hurt more than anything else that ever happened to her. She broke her ankle once and she thought it hurt like a bitch, but it had nothing with the pain she felt on her abdomen right now. It was burning like there was a living fire inside her, but it also felt like someone was repeatedly punching her or sticking something on her muscles.

She must have yelped. "Sorry, I'm sorry, Lena. I know," She wanted to tell Alex it wasn't her fault, but that she could be a little more gentle with the wounded person lying in the middle of the sidewalk, but she couldn't even see the redhead anymore. Her eyes moved to see the blue sky above her and all effort she tried to make to look anywhere else was pointless. So she blinked. "No, Lena, stay with me! Don't give up!"

She wasn't giving up. Of course not. Why would Alex even think that? She still had so much to do. There were L-Corp and the fact that, if she died, her brother would be in charge of it and it would be no good. Then there was the embarrassing amount of stuff she didn't want people to find in her room, so she needed to get rid of that. Then there was that cool project she was working on. Then she needed to call Jess and ask her to come back because she had no idea how to keep track of her agenda without her and maybe that's how she ended up being shot while leaving a public speech because she was late to another meeting and if she was on time that man might not have been able to catch her.

And then there was Kara. There was so much she needed to tell her. She needed to tell her she was still hurt. She needed to say she broke her heart with her lies and that she didn't know she could ever trust anyone ever again. She needed to tell her she doesn't understand why she was the only one that was left out of that secret and that it makes things even worse. She needed to tell her that she closed her eyes to all the evidence presented to her because she never thought Kara would lie to her.

She needed to tell her she fell in love with her and that Kara broke her heart a thousand times. Every time she appeared with a new boyfriend or a date, every time she would give Lena that smile when she would flirt with her only to call herself her friend a second later, every time she made Lena go home alone when all she wanted was to have Kara with her. And the lies, too.

And Kara needed to know all of that because they haven't spoken and it all seems like something she should have told her before she started ignoring her calls and sending her away.

"Lena, stay awake!" Alex was sounding a little desperate now and the pressure was increasing.

She groaned and tried to wiggle her way away from the woman's strong hands, but she couldn't move yet. That was a shame. She wished she could punch Alex in the face to show her how delicate she was being.

"Lena, oh Rao, Lena!" Out of nowhere, there was another pair of hands on her. They touched her hand first, then made even more pressure on her wound, then the felt them against her cheeks and her head was turned to the side. She blinked, realizing she had closed her eyes at some point, and sure enough there was Kara, kneeled by her side, wide-eyed and looking completely torn apart. "Lena, please, stay with me."

"Kara, she's losing a lot of blood."

Kara moved her eyes away and Lena blinked again when she couldn't see the blue orbs anymore. She couldn't look down, but she saw the look she shot Alex and it sent shivers down her spine, something she wasn't sure was only because of the fear she felt suddenly. "I'm taking her to the hospital." Kara's voice was firm and she immediately started fussing over Lena to find a better way to grab her.

But Alex placed a bloody hand on her shoulder and shook her head. "You can't! You're not using your suit!" Her voice was only a whisper but Lena could hear the scream behind it as she could barely contain herself from yelling at her sister.

She couldn't see them anymore. Why couldn't she see them anymore? It was all black again. "I don't care, Alex! She's dying!"

"If you do that..."

"I know and I don't give a fucking damn! I'm not waiting for the ambulance and I'm not going to risk losing her. Step back."

"Kara, I can't let you do that."

"Alex, step back."

Lena felt a hand slide under her knees and her legs raised a tiny bit. It was enough to make her body react. The pain was even worse and she groaned again, clenching her hands into fists.

"Kara, stop."

"If that was Kelly, you would have sent me away already. Now, step back, I'm taking her and you're not going to stop me."

She wasn't going to because an arm slide under her shoulders, she felt her body being raised from the ground and then she felt the wind. It was hard and not gentle against her face and it made her cold, but it also distracted her from the gunshot.

"It's going to be okay, Lena," it sounded like a promise, but she could hear the fear and terror on Kara's voice. "I got you."

Lena fought her own body, the tiredness, and soreness, to crack her eyes open and she instantly regrets it. Kara was crying, it was clear by the trail of tears down her cheeks, and they were flying. Lena wasn't a height fan, she hated it, even if all she could see was the sky and white clouds above them.

She must have made a sound or Kara just sensed something because the blonde looked down at her, blue eyes shining with tears and emotions as she held Lena a bit closer to her own body. "I'm sorry, Lena. I'm so sorry."

It's not your fault. She wanted to say, she couldn't. What was wrong with her mouth?

Instead, she blinked twice.

"We're here." A second later, she felt when they touched the ground and then Kara was running. "I need a doctor!"

Lena wished she could see what was going on around her, but her eyes could only partially focus on Kara. She could smell the hospital, so she knew they had made it inside. She could hear babies and kids crying, she could hear beeps and phones, and she could hear people talking around her now.

"What happened?"

"She was shot."

"Is that... Is that Lena Luthor?"

"Yes, she is. Now help her!" Kara wasn't happy or in the mood for chatting, not surprising.

"Ma'am, please put her in this stretcher."

She felt the moment Kara did exactly that, her whole body retracting thanks to the pain that shot through it, even if the blonde did it as gentle as she could manage. A second later, she couldn't see Kara anymore. That made her pause.

Lena felt her heart pick up the pace and her body felt alive for the first time since it all started. Her hand shot out, searching, and her eyes started to roam the faces that popped in front of her now and then, begging.

"Hey, I'm here, it's okay." Kara's face showed up on the other side from where she was before and now she was standing by her left shoulder. It was a weird angle for Lena to look, but she would make do. The blonde put a hand on her shoulder and slowly caressed her arm until she was holding her hand. Kara's hand was wet, she didn't know if it was sweat or blood and she didn't care either, but it was firm against her and it was grounding her when people started pushing, cutting and poking.

"I talked with Dr. Chan, he will be waiting for us in Operation Room 5," someone informed. "We need to take her now."

They started moving. She could feel every time the wheel of the stretcher passed by a junction on the floor and she could see that Kara was running with them, never letting go of her hand.

"Ma'am, you can't go inside with us."

"You can stay and fill up her forms."

"But..." Kara didn't finish her sentence. They had reached a place and they stopped again. She looked around, not sure what to do, Lena could tell.

She didn't want Kara to leave either. She was scared.

"Lena, I will be right there when you wake up, okay?" Kara made some nurses move out of the way so she could hover more directly on her line of sight. She held Lena's hand with both of hers and squeezed almost too tightly. "You're going to be okay." She was still crying when she raised Lena's hand just a bit and leaned over the rest of the way to press a long kiss on the back. "I love you."

She wanted to say it back. She would mean it even. But then someone pushed a mask over her mouth and nose and they started moving again. This time without Kara.


“We need to take you out of here, Kara,” Alex whispered desperately the second she stepped in the waiting room her sister was pacing while biting her nails.

Kara was crying, the tears were sliding down her face non-stop and she was sniffing every couple of seconds, and her whole frame changed when she turned around to face Alex. “Alex,” she gasped in relief a second before throwing herself at her sister.

Alex collected the blonde on her arms without a second thought, easily allowing Kara to hide her face on her neck as her hands started to caress her sister’s hair and back. “Kara, please, come with me to the DEO. It’s safer there, J’onn is waiting for us and...”

“What?” Kara mumbled against her skin with a frown.

The director sighed and took a step back to stare dead-serious at the other woman. “People saw you, Kara. There were cameras everywhere and you just flew away carrying Lena. And the hospital was also...” Alex interrupted herself with another sigh and squeezed Kara’s forearms while shaking her head. “People know it’s you, Kara. They know you’re Supergirl.”

Kara’s eyes went wide and her jaw went slack. She took two steps back, quickly pulling herself away from her sister’s hands and started shaking her head. “Alex...”

Mistaking her reaction with fear, Alex was fast to raise her hands and soothe her own voice. “It’s going to be okay, I’m sure. We just need to put you in safety for a little while and...”

“I’m not leaving her,” Kara cut in strongly.

Both of the director’s eyebrows shot up in shock as she watched her sister. “You what?”

“I’m not leaving Lena.” The blonde shook her head decisively and her tone was not leaving any space for discussions. “I can hear her heart, they have her in surgery right now and...”

“Kara,” Alex chipped in slowly and carefully. “We have to take you to the DEO.”

Kara’s entire demeanor changed. She straightened her back and shoulders, set up her jaw, her blue eyes became almost ice cold and her hands clenched into fists. If Alex wasn’t her sister, she would definitely be scared of her. “I’m not leaving,” she repeated roughly.

The redhead felt the fear start to eat her inside and cloud her rationing. “You’re risking your life.”

“I don’t care.”

“You’re risking your life,” Alex continued as if Kara hadn’t said a thing, “for someone who hasn’t spoken with you in almost six months.”

Kara took two large steps forward and suddenly she was very close to Alex, their noses almost touching, breaths mixing, as she invaded her personal space. “I’m not leaving, Alex. I don’t care what you think. I love Lena and I’m not moving an inch out of this place before she asks me to do it.” Her voice was dangerously low and her hands were starting to shake to the level were Alex actually started fearing for her safety.

Someone cleared their throat by the door and Alex was both thankful for the distraction and immediately frightened when she turned her head and saw who decided to separate their fight. She could handle Kara. She could even handle if Kara lost her temper and physically snapped at her. But she didn’t think she would be able to forgive her sister if she hurt Kelly and it could become a possibility now that her girlfriend was in the same room as her emotionally unstable sister.

“I’m not going to say I’m sorry to interrupt,” Kelly started, looking between them with an arched eyebrow. “Alex, why don’t you go call J’onn and buy everyone something to eat? I can stay here with Kara.”

“Absolutely not,” Alex replied instantly and firmly. “I’m taking Kara to the DEO. It’s not safe for her to be walking around now that people know who she is and I’m not leaving the two of you here.”

Kara finally turned around and started walking again, pacing from one corner of the room to another, mumbling to herself and looking down at her shoes, so Alex took the moment to look at her girlfriend. She tried to silently communicate with her to tell her she was not okay with leaving Kara there and she was not backing down from that, but Kelly crossed her arms and stared back at her with the same determination. Alex was about to pull out the ‘I’m the boss’ card when Kara whined behind her.

“Lena,” she said and the DEO’s director turned in time to see her sister placing a hand against her chest and closing her eyes.

“Kara?” she worriedly asked as she took quick steps to reach her. Alex placed a hand on her shoulder and was surprised to see Kelly was doing the same thing on her other side. She threw her a thankful smile before focusing on her sister again.

“Her heart is so low,” Kara explained with a broken voice as more and more tears slid down her face. Before anyone could do anything about it, a heartbreaking sob cut through her chest and her hands instinctively reached out for Alex, grasping at her like an anchor.

Alex sighed heavily as she allowed her sister to hold onto her and took a step closer to be able to hold her weight better. If Kara’s legs gave in under her they would all go to the ground, she knew it, but she would still try to hold them up. Once she was close enough, Alex leaned over and placed a sloppy kiss on the side of her sister’s head, closing her eyes, and sighed again. “She’s going to be okay,” she said. Alex wasn’t sure she was allowed to make such a promise, but it sounded worse not to say anything.

Kara sobbed again, loudly, and shook her head. “I should have told her,” whispered the blonde.

Unnoticed by the sisters, Kelly dried her tears with her back of her hand. Instead, Alex stared replying. “It’s too late to change that now, Kara. Mxy gave you the chance, you saw all the options and you chose to...”

“No...” Kara shook her head again, this time more desperately, and the grip on Alex’s hand became almost too much. “I should have told her I love her,” the woman corrected.

Sensing her sister was already beating herself for it, Alex slid her arm around her waist and pulled her closer. Kelly allowed her to pull the woman away from her and took the moment to try to collect herself. “You couldn’t have told her something you didn’t realize until now,” she offered gently.

“Not now,” Kara denied. “Six months.” That was all she said and it was honestly all Alex needed to know.

Feeling even more heartbroken for her sister, the director bit back her tears and pulled her for a full-on hug, allowing her to sob on her shoulder and soak her shirt with her tears. “She’s going to be okay,” not sure what else she could say, Alex just repeated the words.


“She’s out of surgery and doing as well as can be expected at this point.”  Dr. Chan’s words weren’t very reassuring and they kept running around her brain like a curse.

She had no idea what that was supposed to mean and she was still trying to wrap her head around when the nurse stopped in front of a blue-ish curtain and smiled at her.

“This is the post-op,” the elderly woman informed in a low voice. Kara could hear the beeping from machines, the beating of hearts, the sounds of the city, she could smell the disinfectant, dry blood and dead, and the woman’s soothing voice wasn’t enough to make her feel better. “We will move her to a bed in ICU soon until she regains consciousness.”

After telling her she only had half an hour, the woman left and Kara realized she was suddenly alone standing in front of a curtain. She took several deep breaths before pushing it open slowly, almost like she was scared it might be a bomb on the other side.

It wasn’t a bomb.

“Lena,” Kara murmured as her feet dragged against the floor until she reached the CEO’s bedside.

Her face was pale, slightly swollen and tensed like she could feel the pain even when she was still anesthetized. The blonde couldn’t see her wound since she was covered by a fluffy white blanket, but she could smell the blood coming stronger from under it and it made her sick. She swallowed thickly as she reached out to tenderly trace the side of Lena’s face with her knuckles, her eyes refusing to leave her face.

Alex could say a million times that she would be okay, but nothing would make her believe it until Lena opened her eyes and spoke. She could even scream at her, send her away like she did many times before, tell her to go to hell or whatever. As long as she opened her eyes and spoke again.

Kara had no idea how long she stood there gently caressing her friend’s face and she also didn’t notice when her other hand moved to hold Lena’s one even more gently, but at some point, the curtain behind her opened again.

“We’re moving her to ICU now,” the nurse from before said.

“Can I go with her?” Kara asked as the panic started to install in her bones. She didn’t want to leave Lena’s side, not even for a second. Her heartbeat was still so slow, she needed to stay close and make sure she would be fine.

The nurse hesitated for a second, Kara could almost hear her thoughts. “I think there will not be a problem.”

ICU wasn’t much better, just a series of beds separated by curtains with no privacy at all, but Kara noticed none of this. She pulled a small stool and sat by Lena’s side and stared at her face for what felt like forever.

At some point, the ICU nurse, a woman who was calling her Supergirl since she walked inside, came around to apply something in Lena’s arm and smiled at her while doing it. “There’s a crowd outside waiting for you.”

Kara ignored her.

After she left, Kara found herself absently smoothing her thumb over the back of Lena’s hand, noticing how cold it felt, and stared imploringly up at her. “Please wake up, Lena,” she whispered desperately. “Please. I need you to wake up, please.” She felt the tears coming back and she didn’t try to stop them, knowing there was no point in doing so. “I need you, Lena.” Her head leaned over to rest on the edge of the brunette’s bed. “I love you.”


“She didn’t wake up in ICU, so they took her to a private room this morning,” Kara talked on the phone quietly not to disturb the sleeping woman behind her, even if she knew it wasn’t her tone that was going to wake her up. She waited for the reply on the other side of the line, then sighed. “Yes, mom, I know she needs time to recover. Yes, I know. Yes. Yes. No, I won’t. Yes. No, Alex already did it for me. Yes, I will. Okay, bye.”

She sighed heavily and looked down at her phone once the call was over before she turned around to come back to the chair she had pulled over to stay right beside Lena. She tried to smile, even if the other woman couldn’t see her. “Eliza sent you a kiss. She also told me to stop hovering, but I’m not doing that.” Kara sat down and chuckled softly. “Alex’s going to bring me some clothes later and I can shower in that awesome bathroom, so mom can stop complaining. I looked outside now and the number of people at the street lowered a bit, guess people are getting tired of waiting for me to get out.”

When no answer came, Kara leaned over to hold a limp hand on hers, careful not to disturb any wires or IV. “I’m not leaving until you tell me to,” she promised again.

Two hours later, Kara walked outside the room to follow Alex to an empty hallway while keeping an ear out for Lena’s heartbeat. “What?”

“We’re monitoring several groups that popped up since the reveal of your identity, many of which aren’t amicable. I still think we should take you somewhere safe. Lena’s stable now, even if we don’t know when she’s waking up.” Alex raised a hand before Kara could say anything. “I know you don’t want to leave. I’m not going to make you, I’m just saying that, once Lena wakes up, there’s a lot you’re going to deal with.”

“I don’t care,” Kara shook her head. “As long as she wakes up.”

Alex sighed and ran a hand through her short hair. “The man who shot her was found dead on his cell this morning.”

“What?!”

“I know. We have no idea how that happened, we’re still investigating, but I think you should know.”

“Do you have any idea how much I had to hold myself back so I wouldn’t kill that son of a bitch?”

Alex nodded. “I have an idea, but that’s not the time nor the place to discuss how bad you beat the guy up before dropping him at the DEO. The point is that someone killed him and now we have no one to give us names.”

“You know the names.”

“I know the names and you know the names, but we can’t just go around shouting them with no proofs.”

Kara sighed exasperatedly and opened her mouth to reply when she heard something. At first, she thought it was coming from Lena’s room since she was keeping her ear out in that direction, but then she noticed it was actually coming from the opposite side. She narrowed her eyes as she looked over Alex’s shoulders, listening to steps, screams, and shouts.

“Kara?” Alex asked with furrowed brows.

Kara placed a hand on her sister's shoulder and pushed her behind until she was shielding her, placing herself between her sister and whatever danger that was coming their way. She tried to make it out but the noise was just too loud and confusing for her to crack her mind around it until it was too late. She felt it before she saw it.

Her insides started to burn and she immediately knew what it was.

“Alex,” she whispered in shock as she took a step back and bumped against the director.

Before her sister could say anything someone turned the corner that leads to them. Lex. He smiled at them the second he noticed they were standing just a few feet from him. “Oh, look what the wind brought me,” he chanted happily.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked since Kara seemed to be glued in place.

The bald man shrugged. “Visiting my dear sister. She’s hurt, you see.”

“Stay away from her,” Kara warned in a low dangerous tone.

It made Lex beam at her. “I don’t think you’re in the position of making threats, Supergirl.” He winked, then took a step closer. “I’m going to go see her now if you don’t mind.”

Kara noticed the burning on her veins got worse as he got closer, but she couldn’t back away, not if she wanted to protect Lena. “Go away, Lex.”

“Since you asked so nicely...” He mocked before turning his head to the side to scream over his shoulder. “Over here!”

All the noise stopped for a second, then it started to come their way. Kara knew Lex had reunited the groups Alex had mentioned before she even saw the crazy men joining the crazy scientist in front of her. “Alex, get to Lena.”

“Kara...”

“Go.”

“Kara...”

“Go!”

Alex took one step away before a man draws a weapon and shot into her direction. Kara was able to deflect from it, but she couldn’t avoid all the effects that the proximity of the green-ish substance caused on her. She could already feel her body could weaker and the pains installing on her bones, muscles, and veins, but she was not allowing herself to lose, not when Lena’s life was in line.

“Kara!” Alex shouted from somewhere behind her.

“Call for back up, Alex,” Kara asked calmly as she prepared herself for the next attack.

It all happened too fast and suddenly the hallway became a green flashlight space.


“You know, it almost hurts me to do it,” Lex said while preparing the syringe with the poison he was intending to inject on Lena’s arm. The woman was still sleeping peacefully on the hospital bed. “You and I were working quite well together, I have to admit. In fact, we were quite the duo, so don’t take this personal. I just prefer to work alone. You know, fewer chances to fuck up.”

He put the flask of poison down and turned her arm so he could see her vein. Lex smiled sickly when he spotted it and then took off the protection from the needle. He was about to stick in on her arm when the door shot open and Supergirl strumbled inside. Her skin was looking a little green and she was clearly having problems walking and breathing, but she was still standing and she still had a ferocity on her eyes that could make any man or alien shake in fear.

“Stay away from her.”

Lex sighed almost sadly. “Why won’t you just die, Supergirl?”

The heroine chuckled humorlessly. “Because I still have reason to keep fighting. Now, take a step back from Lena.”

“What have you done to my anti-Supergirl guys?”

“Stay away from her, Lex, I’m not warning you again.”

At that, the man laughed. “But, Supergirl, I don’t think you’re in any position of stopping me. You’re dying.”

“I’m not letting you hurt her,” she said as she shook her head and took another step inside.

The needle touched Lena’s skin and she stopped immediately. “I gave those men enough kryptonite to kill Krypton twice and you’re still standing. I’m impressed.” Lex, faithful to his words, looked amazed by her display of strength, even if he still had a needle stuck to his sister’s arm. “You really do love her, don’t you?”

Kara didn’t allow her surprise to his words to show on her face. “Take a step back and drop the needle, Lex.”

“It must suck knowing you fuck it up with her,” Lex giggled. “You must think I’m helping both of you. I’m giving you another shot. You can born again and you can try not to be a liar like last time.”

“If you touch her...”

“Goodbye, Supergirl.”

The second that took for Lex to stick the needle into Lena’s arm all the way inside was all it took for Kara to react. She ignored all the pain her body was in and forced herself to move. She ran, hand reaching out for Lex’s arm, eyes wide and moving from Lena’s tense face to the man’s hand, legs shaking underneath her.

She realized Lex’s gun a second too late.

The kryptonite bullet hit her chest, perforated her heart and made all the way out from her back. He shot again, just an inch to the side, and her knees collapsed under her. She heard DEO’s agents running down the hall a second before she heard Lena’s heart monitor go off. She tried to use her super hearing to catch her heartbeat but there was nothing there.

A second later, it all went black.


“National City’s hero, Supergirl, revealed her true identity to the word,” Lex's voice came from the TV. Alex clenched at her glass so hard Kelly was afraid it would break and cut her hand. “She not only revealed her true name, Kara Danvers, but she also brought to light her real intentions.” He took a deep breath and looked down at the papers he was using as notes. “As I was visiting my sister in her hospital bed yesterday, Supergirl showed up, proclaiming us, the Luthors don’t deserve to be in the same word as her anymore. She killed my dear sister, Lena, before I could do anything, then she charged at me. Thankfully, I had a gun with me, charged with kryptonite since I was making some tests on guns to help her, and I had to shot to stop her. So, I come here today to inform with sadness that my sister, Lena Luthor, and Supergirl, also known as Kara Danvers, are both dead after a failed attempt of the fake hero to kill me.”

“Liar,” Alex whispered to no one in particular as the symbol of Luthor Corp flashed on her TV for the minute of silence Lex had proposed. “I’m going to get him. I’m going to make him pay.”

“I trust you will,” Kelly whispered against her ear. “I believe in you and so did Kara.”


Lena blinked and she was back into her living room.

She had no idea what she was expecting when she found a tape entitled “The One Where Lena Works With Lex” on her coffee table, but it certainly wasn’t that. It absolutely wasn’t that.

Lena took a shaky deep breath as she looked around her almost empty living room, almost scared that she would look to the side and see some of the characters that were just on the screen of her large TV a second before. Lex, the shooter, Alex or even Supergirl. She had no idea what the hell was that tape, but it had to be a magical thing and it was a scary thing for sure.

She needed a drink.

And a very strong one to be honest.

Lena got up and walked to her small bar where she purred herself a full glass of scotch, not bothering with half measures or mixing anything with it. She took a large gulp from it and sighed when the drink burned it’s way down. It didn’t make her feel better, but it made her feel something.

“Just tell me what you want to see and I will show you.”

She gasped so loud that it sounded almost like a scream and turned around with one hand on her chest and the other one that was holding her glass ready to punch someone. Her eyes quickly found a short man sitting on her coffee table like it was a comfortable chair and she had half the presence of mind to tell him to get lost before he broke it, but she was too shocked to do it because she had no idea how he got inside in the first place.

“That’s mine, by the way, so you need to give it back to me,” he pointed at the tape that she had brought with her to the bar and arched an eyebrow.

“Who the fuck are you?” Lena finally rasped out as she took a step closer to him and narrowed her eyes. “And what the fuck are you doing here?”

“Funny of you to ask,” he answered, jumping from her table. “Kara was a little more gentle about it, though.”

Lena arched her own eyebrow, surprised to hear her (ex) friend’s name from the stranger’s mouth. “How do you know her?”

“Did you honestly thought we would have some other friend in common?” He mocked. “You know, she saw four different versions. I left an identical tape for her when I left and she didn’t want to watch that one.” The man opened his arms. “She never watched that one. You did.”

“I’m not going to ask you again. Who are you?” Lena had no idea if this man could die if she was right and he was a magical being, but she was starting to think of ways she could grab her gun.

The intruder dared to smile at her. “You can call me Mxy.”


It has been a hell of a night.

A fucking hell of a night.

It wasn’t the worst night of her life, but it was the weirdest and it had to mean something, Lena was sure.

She needed to go to therapy. She needs to stop pushing it.

After kicking the weird man who simply popped in the middle of her living room with different tapes proclaiming he could show her anything she wanted to see and give her another chance, Lena realized she needed not to drink anymore or she would end up doing something stupid like watching the damn tapes.

She had already watched one and it already messed up her brain.

So she decided to make some tea. Mxy or whatever was his name tried to stay and drink it with her, saying it was a wise choice and he liked her for it, but she glared at him and he snapped his fingers and disappeared, taking every single tape with him. She made sure of it because she checked her living room twice.

Her mind was running like a marathon runner while she waited for the water to boil, trying to understand what exactly all she saw meant.

The tape clearly said “The One Where Lena Works With Lex”. It could mean some point in the future or it could be an alternative reality where it could happen if something else had happened in the past. Maybe she should have asked that bit of information before kicking the guy with the answer out.

In that tape, she died. Lex killed her. He tried to send someone to kill her and when that failed he went there himself.

In that tape, the world finds out the true identity of Supergirl because she flew Lena to the hospital instead of waiting for the ambulance to take her. Kara didn’t want to wait, she ignored Alex’s orders, she took Lena and she flew away with her, exposing herself to the word.

In that tape, Kara had promised to stay by her side until she woke up and sent her away from herself. She never broke that promise because Lena never woke up, they both died. They both died because Lex killed both of them. He shot Kara.

In that tape, Kara died trying to protect her. She fought her own body, she fought kryptonite, to go back to Lena to save her, only to be shot by Lex and die beside Lena. So close and yet too far.

In that tape, Kara said she loves her. She said she wished she had told her before because she had known for a while now. Six months, the same amount of time they hadn’t spoken. In reality, they had been in, they hadn’t spoken in five months. If the tape showed the future, they were fated to die in a month.

In that tape, Lena thought to herself, right before her mind went all black, that she also wished she had more time. More time to give Kara another shot to explain herself because she had also kept a secret during their friendship. More time to tell Kara she was in love with her, but she was still hurt by her actions.

In that tape, they both died without telling each other how they felt. And it all happened in a month.

Lena was startled from her actions by the sound of something hitting the ground of her balcony. She looked from the cup, only then noticing she must have been mixing the same tea bag for at least five minutes, and saw that Kara, dressed as Supergirl, had just landed on her balcony.

Her heart stopped beating for a second, then it started beating too fast against her chest, enough to make it feel like she was having a panic attack. It made her react the only way she knows how: with sarcasm, to protect herself. “Let me guess, you’re here to tell me once again that I should forgive you. Or that I shouldn’t work with my brother.” She really shouldn’t work with Lex, to be fair, not that she ever had the intention of doing so.

“Not this time,” Kara replied not so gently. Her voice was a little harsh as she shook her head and Lena felt her heart fall to her stomach. “I recognize I made a mistake in hiding my identity from you for so long, but the past is the past and I can’t change it. Forgive me or not, that’s your choice.” The blonde opened her arms and gestured around like she was actually showing the said choice. “Just like it’s your choice to work with Lex.” Lena felt the back of her eyes burning with tears and she suddenly felt the need to run. “I’m done blaming myself for your bad decisions.”

“Then why are you here?” Lena could barely recognize her own voice. She had never felt weaker and she had just, an hour ago, watched herself die on her TV screen.

“To tell you that from now on, you’re accountable for your own actions.” Kara took three steps closer and she was almost inside her penthouse now, but Lena couldn’t move, she felt glued in place, in fact, she wasn’t even sure she was even breathing. “If you decide to forgive me, I will be there for you. But if you continue to work with Lex, if you go through whatever it is the two of you are planning, I will do everything in my power to stop you. Just like I would any other villain.”

The words hurt more than they should, probably. Lena still couldn’t move when Supergirl turned around and prepared herself to fly away. The CEO wanted to scream at her that she wasn’t a villain, something she had told her before, but she couldn’t quite repeat that. She wanted to scream that Mxy had just left. She wanted to scream that she had made two cups of tea like she had been doing for the last five months even if she knew there wouldn’t be a second person to drink it with her like usual.

She just wanted to scream.

Because in a month they were going to die without telling each other how they feel and she would never forgive herself for letting Kara die thinking Lena hates her.

But then Kara flies away and Lena can’t do anything to stop her.


The thing about being accountable for your actions, Lena realizes a couple of days later, is that you're not always glad about how things turn out to be.

Lex used to be a good person. He used to be her favorite person in the world. They used to play chess, he used to go watch her on her fencing games and they would talk about Science all the time.

And now she was watching as cops took her brother away again, handcuffed and screaming at the top of his lungs that he hated her and that she would regret ever turning her back at him. She knows he’s going to be out jail before the week is over because that’s Lex they’re talking about. That’s why she had to kill him the first time, but she’s not sure she can do that again.


“I need to ask you a couple of questions and I need you to be honest with me. In return, I’m going to be honest with you,” Lena is saying before Kara is even done landing on her balcony.

She knew she would come over. Of course, she would. Lena sent Lex away. That meant she was choosing Kara.

“Of course,” Kara’s voice sounded so different from the other night that Lena had to close her eyes for a second to regain her composure and not start crying right on the spot she was leaning on while she waited for the hero to show up.

“If you could change things, would you do it?” she asked after slowly opening her eyes.

It brought Kara to a halt. She didn’t answer it for a long time and Lena was almost afraid she wouldn’t until she heard the woman sighing behind her. “I wouldn’t have let Lex be the one who told you, but I know things could have been way different if I had taken any other decision.”

Lena reminded of the strange intruder that left her a tape and dropped Kara’s name in the middle of a conversation like it meant nothing and she thought she understood, so she nodded. “I have so many questions I want to make, but...” She sighed heavily. “But to be honest none of them matters right now.”

Lena turned around to face Kara and almost closed her eyes again when she took in the Supergirl’s suit. The blonde kept her distance, but her expression was open and her posture was not like the heroine signature one, and it made Lena be a little more at ease.

“I lied to you,” Lena confessed into the quiet night, not quite daring to look at the blue eyes, but not sure she should look anywhere else.

Kara arched one eyebrow, a little surprised with the turn in the conversation. “About what?”

“About a lot of things, I suppose.” The CEO took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “After Lex told me, of course, but before that too.”

“What do you mean, Lena?” Kara was clearly nervous now.

“You weren’t my best friend, Kara,” the brunette started as she flicked her tongue through her lips. “I guess you kind of wore, but you also were so much more and I never told you that. I always thought that the expression ‘love is blind’ is ridiculous until I experienced it first hand and saw how true it is.” She eyed the woman standing in front of her up and down a couple of times before sighing. “I saw many signs that Kara Danvers is Supergirl and I chose to ignore all of them simply because I chose to believe you would never lie to me.”

“Lena...”

“Which was a little hypocrite of me, considering I was also keeping a secret.” Lena crossed her arms, preparing herself for the impact her words would cause in both of them, and took a deep breath. “Kara, do you remember the time you walked on me while I was drunk and I said that you always believe that everything is good and kind and that is one of the things I love about you?”

Kara waited for her to keep talking, but when it became clear she wasn’t going to say anything else until she did, the blonde nodded. “Yes,” she whispered and blinked to fight back the tears.

“Turns out there’s a lot of things I love about you,” Lena’s voice had also become a whisper, so low that, if it wasn’t for Kara’s super hearing, she wouldn’t be able to understand her. “You didn’t turn your back to me back then and that was the moment I realized I was in love with you.” Kara gasped and the brunette saw her hands contracting, but she had open a door now and she couldn’t close it. “So for the entire time in our friendship from that moment on I had lied to you. I lied to you every-“

Suddenly she wasn’t able to speak anymore.

Lena had expected the words to die on her throat at some point when it became too hard for her to speak over her tears, but she didn’t expect her incapacity to talk to be over Kara’s lips on hers. She didn’t even saw the woman approaching her, she just felt when Kara placed both hands on her waist and covered her lips with hers. Her own arms acted on instinct as they raised to circle Kara’s neck to pull her closer before she could stop herself.

She gasped, opening her mouth, ready to take it a bit further, but then Kara parted their lips when a sob escaped her throat. Lena’s eyes snapped open almost instantly in alert and she barely had time to react when the other woman fell on her knees in front of her. Kara moved her arms to circle Lena’s waist, grasping at her like she was about to disappear into thin air, and she rested the side of her face against her stomach as the sobs became too much and she needed to close her eyes.

Lena stood there in shock for a couple of seconds before her body started working again and her hands moved to touch blonde curls and strong shoulders. She pressed herself closer to the crying girl and leaned over the best she could so the tip of her nose was touching the top of Kara’s head.

“Shh,” she tried to soothe her.

“I’m sorry,” Kara spurted between sobs. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” the confession fell from her lips on a breath and her hands grasped on the back of Lena’s shirt, only a second of tearing the material apart. “I was so scared you were going to chose him.” Losing Lena would shatter her, there was no point even trying to deny that fact because she had been faced with the hard reality of that possibility twice before. “I would fight for you until the end.”

Lena smiled sadly as a memory of a possible future hit her. “I know,” she whispered against the crowd of blonde hair. “I know you would.”

“I love you so much, Lena,” Kara confessed, feeling the weight of the world leaving her shoulders and her chest, and her beating heart trying to reach Lena with how hard it was beating against her ribs. “I’m in love with you.”

“It’s okay,” Lena soothed. “It’s going to be fine. We’re going to be fine,” promised her.

“I love you,” Kara repeated over and over and over and over again.

Hearing and feeling the desperation on the heroine’s voice, Lena kneeled in front of her so they could be at the same level. When Kara didn’t have her belly to hide her face anymore and was forced to look up, Lena cradled her face between her warm palms and gave her a waterly smile that Kara returned instantly like Lena was everything she wanted in the world.

“Lex’s going to be so mad when he hears about this,” is the last thing Lena says before she leans for another tender kiss and all thoughts of Lex and a possible future disappears.

A months later, when she has to go on a stage and gives a speech, Supergirl is by her side, acting as a guard but also being honored again for her services as National City’s guardian. Once Lena steps from her CEO’s clothes and Kara removes her super suit, they cuddle on her couch for the night, whispering sweet love confessings between kisses.