I'm doing this next part just to mess with you.
Negaduck smiled warmly as he pet Buddy Pal Friendly. The duck looked over the buff dog, watching as three duckling yellow pups feed off their sunshine yellow father. Buddy blinked sleepily as he spoke, "What do you think their names should be, Ducky?" The villain pondered for a while then listed, "Arson, Robbery, and Fraud." The canine closed his black eyes. He mumbled clearly enough to be understood, "What's an Arson?" The bird just chuckled and curled up around the mammal. "I'll explain later, just rest."
Negaduck flapped his wings a few times getting into the lake. He floated on the water for a moment before a noise from the woods caught his attention. The duck waddles out of the lake, wandering into the woods. Whatever it was, the carnivorous fowl intended to murder it. The unknown beast was near, it was large. A stick broke nearby, The bird dashed off to prove his superiority to the beast. A large, yellow, canine stood before him, Buddy. Buddy cocked his head in curiously and then licked him. The fowl hissed angrily.
Pal walked fearfully slow to Negaduck, black eyes shiney like buttons with hope. The duck flapped his wings threateningly. Then the mammal mounted him. It felt like Friendly was confused and needful as got atop the much smaller animal. The mutt didn't rub against him, just pressed the hard place against him. The feathered male made a few calls to get the mammalain to mate him yet there was only something poking him and confused, wanting, whimpers. It was times like these that the smaller man wished he had knots in him.
Negaduck wandered through the woods, a box for a heart and a knife in his possession. He exited the woods, Buddy Pal Friendly lay on the ground. Scared and caught in some bush with barbs. Buddy looked up to him with an innocence, frightened by everything but the hunter. The killer raised the knife, The victim smiled hopefully. The knife was above his goal. His prize. The heart.
He didn't. He cut the vines instead. The duck snapped at the dog, "Leave! Run!! Never come back." The canine blinked in confusion as he got out of the bush. The bird boiled loudly, "I said, GO AWAY you moron!" The mutt frowned in pain. Buddy did as he was told, leaving. Leaving him alone.
Back to reality.
There was a lot of things to hate about Buddy Pal Friendly. The way he assumed he was already your friend upon meeting you. How he was so sickingly sweet. The fact that he always smelled like candy. His overly affectionate behavior. His stupidity. The way he loved every single person he met. How childish he was. His cutesy nicknames. The fact that he's just too good. A million tiny things that added up to a image issue. How was anyone supposed to take Negaduck seriously as a villain if he had a puppy dog that kept calling him "Negaducky" or something stupid like that. He was a super villain, not "silly willy nilly bird."
He especially couldn't have a mutt running around town talking about how much better Darkwing is than himself, even if it was about stupid, lovey-dovey, affection, stuff. Mainly because a rumor was going around that Strawberry Shortcake ripoff had broken up with Him, the villain, of all people. Sure, Buddy did say, "I don't want to be with Meanie Beans like you." But they weren't dating in the first place and No he ISN'T bitter about being rejected! Anyways, The masked mallard, the evil one, knew there was only one solve. He had to kill that candy colored, candy, mutt!
Because clearly that toony sweet was making him too soft therefore should die. You know, The completely sane logic that clearly shows he isn't bitter or upset at all. As you do.
The sharp toothed fowl started off to find the candy dog. First, checking all the candy shops in Saint Canard then setting them on fire. Next, checking the flower field where he first found the yellow smiley idiot then setting that on fire. Finally, not going to jail for setting a bunch stuff on fire. However this didn't work. Somehow, burning everything that reminds one's self of a particular person doesn't make them want to come back. You know, after they left you for being too mean. Who would have guessed!?
Yet the criminal kept on trying to find the beefy man that often appeared in his nightmares. He swore he saw that smiley face everywhere he went, but he couldn't find the man who owned it. In the sunshine and in the flowers, there wasn't too many things that didn't remind him of Buddy Pal Friendly. It was driving him absolutely daffy.
Until after a long while, the duckie found the doggie. The birdie popped up from the hatch of the tank and yelled down at the puppy doggy, "Come out now and I will peacefully blow you to a billion pieces!!" Which was a lie, because regardless of if it was now or later the plan was to violently blow him into a billion pieces. The building was silent. The super villain aimed the barrel of the tank to the door, fuming, "I am giving you to the count of ten! Come out here and be with me!!" Because that totally doesn't sound like you want them back. The door didn't open. "Ten!" He counted. In the window, The literal sweetie lay on the ground. Not responding to the threat.
The ducky continued, "Nine!" From the view of the window, The puppy merely curled into a fetal position sadly. The tank crashed though the building. Negaduck shrugged and commented, "I got bored of counting." Still, The mammal lay there on the ground. Unresponsive. The bright and sunshiny Sir looked depressive. The yellow dressed duck blinked in surprise at this, The man who represented everything too sweet to be real was... Sad. How? Just how? Mr "What does dead mean?" Mr Unaffected by reality. Mr "Don't be a meanie." This anti bullying mascot from a Saturday morning PSA? The Friend to Everyone!?
How in ever living Hades was this strawberry beefcake depressed!?!
More importantly why wasn't he with Darkwing Duck?
Buddy Pal Friendly sigh melancholic, "Hey Darkwing." Negaduck steamed, "I'm Negaduck, can you not see the tank in the room?!!" Buddy shook his head no. The masked man hopped down from the weapon. He huffed and puffed angrily, "I have been looking all over Saint Canard for you!" Pal Friendly jadedly grumbled, "It's not like you really cared when I was there." What? Was there a Nega Buddy that wandered into this universe? WHO is this? The Edgy recolor snarled, "Who the @#$%& are you and what did you do to the diabetic heart attack I am completely over?!" A black bowler hat was tipped to hide hurt eyes.
"What's a @#$%&?" The black eyed man asked. The duck stared at the lump on the ground and realized that is Buddy Friendly. The smaller man questioned, "What the ¶∆§π₱‡℅ happened to you?" The goodie huffed out an answer, "Darkwing has a witchy lady and Launchpad do I thought he doesn't need me... Then I left. Unfortunately I get sad when I don't get pets sooo." The energy seemed to leave his body. He returned to being unresponsive and unmoving. It was things like this that made Negaduck glad he didn't have a heart. Imagine caring about being loved so much you turn into a pile on the floor.
Cough cough, Hypocrite! Cough cough.
The birdy flopped himself upon the mammalain. "Feel better yet?" He gruffed. The literal sweetheart wrapped his arms and legs around him, nuzzling him into a cuddle. "Entrapment!" The villain cried out before his cries were smothered out in hugs and kisses. Fire, requires two things. Oxygen and fuel. It can be smothered to death when it lacks oxygen. Villainy is a bit like fire. In that when it lacks fuel and one important element, it dies. The Mallard found the fire dying inside him as he was licked, and petted, and kissed, and cuddled, and hugs. Then a different kind of fire grew.
By that I mean, he had a boner.
Buddy smiled dumbly in his nearly endless cheer, on top of the supervillain who was face down and wishing he had his boxers on. Also that he hadn't made a law in the Negaverse that requested most if not all pants be burned. Or at least that the goodie two shoes on his backside would move a little more. Buddy simply laid on him, warm and sweet. The costumed man pondered if the dipstick was ever going to get it into his thick head that the fellow adult wanted some adult content and not this PG 13 bs.
Yet Pal Friend wasn't a mind reader so he didn't know what his friend wanted, also he didn't know what that was.