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ringing

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it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts

there's ringing, blood, warmth, bile, all mixing together into a sticky, sobbing mess collapsed on the floor

it hurts so bad

muscle exposed, skin bubbling into nice patches of absolute agony. it's all melted together, bursting and mending together poorly into one mess of a man

why am I alive

my skull should be cracked open, spilt all over the floor like the most rotten egg, swirling and pooling into nice puddles of mushy red and pink, white bone sprinkled in between

it should have been me it should have been me

I manage to stumble to my feet, my face is half peeled off, exposing the sticky sweetness hiding itself under my skin, dripping, dripping, dripping

I nearly collapse again

walk. walk. keep a rythym, messy sloppy rythym, a rythym of a doll that needs to be oiled. I make it to a safer spot in the hell hole I can only presume is a cave

an arm reaches for me, it's fingers bloated and broken, blood oozing from between the cracks like a berry that has been crushed underneath someoens boot. I do not reach back. a gurgled scream makes it way out of my throat.

how am I not dead.

I wish I was, I wish I could just find a pickaxe and shove it into my chest, peeling away skin and bones to reveal my rotten heart and then finally pop that thing like a large welt.

I'm so tired

distantly, through the ocean of fog that seems to cover my ears, I hear my stomach grumble.