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How to Be a DiNozzo

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Chapter 8 – Hijinks – June 2026

Tony kissed Ziva after he loaded the last of the dishes in the dishwasher. The two had just finished a meal of olive chicken and rice pilaf with grilled asparagus.

"Thank you for my favorite meal," he kissed her again. "While you finish up putting the leftovers away, I'll go get a movie set up in the Blu-ray."

He walked to the family room as Ziva carried a stack of plastic food storage containers to the refrigerator. She put the food on the shelves and wiped the counter with a damp cloth.

Tony picked up the universal remote for the TV, cable box, and Blu-ray player. He pressed the power button; nothing happened. He tried again and still nothing. Ziva came into the room as he tried a third time.

"Battery thieves at it again?" he commented to Ziva as he pried open the battery compartment of the remote. Sure enough, the batteries were missing. He held it up so she could see the empty battery compartment. "I thought we'd seen the last of that back on April Fools' day."

Ziva shrugged, "I guess it is good that the children are all at the McGee house for the night."

"Why? So I can't interrogate them again?" he grinned at his wife sheepishly.

She took the remote from his hand and placed it on the coffee table; she wrapped her arms around him and locked her lips on his. "There is only one thing I am interested in… Perhaps there are other ways we can spend the evening?" she whispered seductively in his ear when they broke for air.

"Oh? And just what do you have in mind, Mrs. DiNozzo?" he purred as she ran her hand under his shirt.

"Something that does not require batteries," she grinned and waggled her eyebrows at him as she grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of the master bedroom. "Last one there is on the bottom…"

As he watched her sway her hips as she headed down the hallway, he swore he saw the outline of three AA batteries in her back pocket…