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It feels the same. 
A seasonal cycle, I guess.  
A natural phenomenon. 
Grey trees. The green leaves left.
A white blanket stretching out for miles, 
and people 
buried beneath warm faux fur 
passed down from someone, 
somewhere since 1999. 


This time, uncontrollable. 
This time, you’re here.  
Warm breaths, 
our bodies knitted together
away from the frenzied flurry. 
Two cups filling the air. 
Sweet like you. 
The fire burns. 
Your voice rings like soothing bells.
My heart is red.  


It feels the same. 
A seasonal cycle, I guess. 
A natural phenomenon. 
It never ends. 
It doesn’t have to. 

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A new decade. What's new?
Fireworks: a grand illusion
that life is bright like glitter.
A chaotic crowd yelling like it's their last.
All these superstitions
I've done habitually 
for years but I'm not any
taller, richer or healthier.
And each year made me lonelier.
What's new? 

A new year, except 
it's all the years I've lived, on loop.

Never had a New Year's kiss.
Maybe next year.
Or in another decade, in another life.
I had my first love, a second one too-
but that was over half a year ago,
I almost forgot if love is true.

So tell me again,
what's new? 

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for the years i've known you, 
love bloomed. slowly but surely. 
not sure how. not sure why. 
was it the husk of your voice 
or your sweet, brown eyes? 

new vines 
seeping into tiny cracks.  
green leaves 
growing for every moment you spend with me. 
love is beautiful, love is great. 
love is refreshing, it rejuvenates. 
love is pain. 

"she loves me, she loves me not."
the last petal falls. now i know. 
i hope she makes your insides
feel like an entire garden or   
a field better than the one in Netherlands.

i planted the seeds. 
showered it 
with love and affection 
disguised as water and sunlight 
for you. it doesn't matter. 

you don't like flowers anyway. 

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my mind is light. 
the screen is bright. 
red wine. 
two out of three. 
california red. 

my heart is happy. 
my blood flows rapidly 
and as red as water. 

waiting for the day 
i get to do this with whoever. 
in a dimly-lit room, 
static in the background. 
a dream- nonsense. 

let the thoughts flow. 
"drink responsibly" - next time 
when i'm less lonely. 
life will be better.

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in the light, the dark, 
or the hazy shades of grey, 
you are all i see. 

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There! A star. Just 
I saw you last night, 
the night before, 
many nights ago. 

(At daytime too). 

Here. On This road. 
If this is 
               North, you’re on the 
side. Always. Never heading

                                              or further East. 

You’re always shining. 
but you look lonely. Sometimes
when the moon is with the sun or the ocean. 
Covered by passing clouds, smog, 
exhaled worries. 

Sometimes, you don’t even appear, 
like poof! Gone. 

(There’s always tomorrow). 

Don’t be afraid! 
I will stay 
until the day I turn into stardust 
in outer space. 
So… same time, same place? 

See you, then. 

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a hollow home, an empty heart. 
a distant dream, so far apart. 
my hands reach out, want nothing more. 
i long for love, our home restored. 
you're blinded. cold. and you don't care. 
you make a Mother seem so rare. 

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slides of squares 

surrounding love. a red knot tied. 

must be nice. stay tight. 

hope nobody cuts it. 


my mind embraces the thought, 

never letting go. 

(the love chemicals are in motion again). 

the screen is dark. i'm back home. 


my digits scroll away 

in hopes of a virtual love letter 

or the right match for me. 

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i’d do anything to spend time with you,

to see you happy. no reason, really.

you look nice wearing that silly smile. you,

among a warm sea, orange sunset, and

purple locks dancing slow with the breeze. you,

are picture perfect in this moment. you,

the flower i’d pick if he wasn’t

in the picture. but it’s fine. anyway,

i am not in love! and if i was, you- 

i hope you stay.