"Kassandra, come down here!" My dads voice boomed throughout the house.
I left my homework on the bed and hesitantly crept down the stairs.
My dad was splayed out on the couch, sitting with his back towards me.
I wasn't even near him, yet my nose burned with the scent of vomit and alcohol.
"Yes sir?" I shakily asked.
"Get me another beer."
I went into the kitchen and headed for the fridge, I opened the door and grabbed what seemed to be the only thing my father made sure to have.
I looked at the bottle, the substance that took over this house hold.
I closed the fridge and quickly gave the liquid substance to him.
He grabbed it from my hand, stood up and pulled me to him. I nearly added to the vomit that had already dried.
"You look so much like your mother..." he ran his disgusting hand down my cheek.
My breathing quickened and my heart started to pound out of control as tears started streaming down my face.
He leaned towards me and so many thoughts were going through my head, I had to stop him, this can't be happening, I need to stop him.
I kneed him and he let out a yell as I tried to reach the front door.
I heard him lumberimg towards me, "Where the fuck do you think you're going!"
I wrenched the door open only to have it slammed shut and that's when I black out.
I woke up feeling nothing but pain all over and when I look down at myself I see that my clothes are torn off and bruises are starting to form on body.
I try to lift myself up but screamed.
I can't do anything but cry.
Eventually, I get myself to the bathroom all the while hissing at the pain. I look at myself in the broken mirror, at all the piece that seem to be staring back at me.
Accurate I think, a broken girl looking at a broken mirror.
I scoff at myself and shake my head, stripping off the remnants of clothing that I have. I look for the blade that I've used so many times before and stare at it as if I'm looking at it for the first time.
I then look at my legs and stomach where dozens upon dozens of scars in different states of healing already lay.
I turn the shower on to the hottest setting and step in. I don't care that it feels like my skin is boiling, this is the only way I feel that I can wash off all the disgusting things done to me.
I bring the razor my legs and cut deep, I repeat the process on each leg until I see copious amounts of blood running down my legs. I'm standing in a tub of my own blood and I still don't think it's enough, it'll never be enough- not until I'm dead.
I set the blade down and I scrub my body until my skin is as red as the blood that leeks from my legs.
I turn off the shower and watch the tainted water go down the drain, that's what I am - tainted.
I grab a towel, not even bothering to stop the bleeding- there's no point- and head up to my room.
My father's not here, he works the night shift, which I'm thankful for, I can sleep most nights. I turn on the lights and look at the unfinished homework on the bed, passing it on the way to my dresser and pull out something to wear.
After I'm dressed I search for my phone and see all the text messages from my girlfriend.
I couldn't find it in me to smile. I couldn't find it in me to feel anything.
I set the phone down without reading the messages and move to do my homework.
I don't know how long its taken me to finish until my alarm goes off. I look up to see natural light creeping in from the window.
I panic as I only have a few minutes to get ready before my dad comes home. I scramble to get my homework put away and I hurriedly grabbed clothes from the closet.
I put on some shoes, took my keys and backpack, brushed my teeth and I was out if the house in five minutes.
To any onlookers I probably looked like a bat out of hell running down the street like I was but I didn't care, my only thought was to get to school as fast as I possibly could.
When I couldn't keep running, I stopped to catch my breath and continued walking. When I got to school I could see my friends and girlfriend waiting for me.
As I got closer, they seemed to be in a heated debate but when Allison saw me she got everyone to stop talking and motioned to me. I looked to them, confused.
Katie, my girlfriend, turned to look at me and she looked guilty... like fearful... then concerned
"Hey..." she mumbled.
"Hi? Is there something wrong?"
"Did you get read your text messages yesterday Kassandra?" Allison budded in.
I turned to her and her eyes widened, "God what happened to you?"
I panicked before calming myself down, "What do you mean?"
She stepped closer, "You have bruises all over you."
I lifted my touch my face and I let out a hiss when my fingers brushed over me face.
"I got jumped on the way home yesterday, I'm sorry that I didn't tell you guys, I got enough of it from my dad."
I didn't want them to know, I didn't want anyone to know. They would figure out how tainted I am.
"Oh my god, Kassandra!"
"Did you call the police?!"
"I'm fine, everyone, I'll live." Unfortunately I thought, "I didn't get the chance to look at my phone yesterday, sorry, I think I forgot it at home. Did any of you bring your make up? I didn't have time to cover the bruises up this morning."
Ashley nodded, "Yeah, I always bring my make up, you should know this by now. Let's head to the bathroom though, there's better lighting in there."
I nodded and followed her as Allison and Katie trailed behind us. I could hear their hushed whispers but couldn't make out what they were saying. I let it go though, if it's important enough, they'll tell me.
We had fifteen minutes until the bell rang and Ashley somehow managed to make me look presentable. I was always impressed by her make up skills.
Katie and Allison had been acting weird and when it was time to go to class Allison gave Katie a pointed look and she left after giving me a hug.
It took everything in me not to scream out in pain right then and there but thankfully no one paid attention to the grimace on my face.
Ashley put all of her stuff away and I thanked her, she smiled sadly at me, patted my shoulder and left.
Katie was the only one left and I usually walk her to class but today she seemed nervous.
"Are you ok?" I asked gently.
She looked up at me and seemed torn with indecision before saying, "Yeah, come on."
She grabbed my hand but it felt different, like she wasn't grasping it, as if she wasn't afraid that I'd slip away.
She'll tell me what's going on eventually.