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Rhapsody in my head

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「才能ない愛想もないでもなんかほっとけないのね

そんなんでいいんだあんまり深く考えないでよ」

DEZERT - Rhapsody in my head

 

Chiaki was a man of many words, but when it came to love, his head wouldn’t function the same way it would when he would write songs for Dezert. He had been spending an entire lazy afternoon trying to come up with the right way to express that burning feeling that he had been feeling for a while in his chest, but he found himself more frustrated than he was when he first started his quest.

“Just be honest, Chiaki. I’m sure she will love it if you are yourself.” Sora kept telling him from the moment he made the mistake to confine to him. It was easier said than done for Chiaki.

“Thank you for cliché advice, Sora.” He replied rolling his eyes at Sora.

Sora laughed and patted his shoulder. Chiaki sighed and stared at the sky leaning in on his chair.

“You will be fine.” Sora said and adjusted his sunglasses as they continued to relax on the balcony of their music studio.

Chiaki was an honest person, too honest sometimes. He would blurt out his thoughts with no filter which caused most of the people he had met so far to perceive him as a mean person. He was a shy man who had not been good at socializing ever since he was a kid, so as a way of protecting himself, he built up a tough wall in front of him.

He had his own monsters to tame inside him and he was making progress at bettering himself for his own good, but all were crushed when he met her. Chiaki thought he would be fine alone and felt very comfortable spending his free time doing nothing in particular, just relaxing.

After she had come into his life, he wanted to go outside and take a walk, or even on a trip alone to explore new places.

“Chiaki you seem very happy today. Did something good happen?” Sora inquired with a knowingly smile at the redhead man. Chiaki just threw him a glare.

“It’s true, though. Lately, you’ve been in a good mood. The other day you were even humming.” Sacchan chimed in the conversation in a playful tone, only to receive the same glare from Chiaki.

All the members knew about his crush. It was so obvious that even if Chiaki hadn’t admitted to them, they would have still figured it out.  They wouldn’t make it too obvious when she was around, but they would root for him so much on the side.

She was the reason why he had been waking up in a good mood, as people around him had pointed it out. Chiaki would not admit that to anyone, but he thought about composing love songs. He thought about it, but instead, he wrote a song about how much he despised love songs.

He had been thinking a lot about just confessing his feelings to her, but at the same time, the thought alone made his heartache a lot. Whenever he saw her, he had so many things to tell her that he found himself talking too much with her. They would meet a lot, as she was part of their styling team. She would do anything from hair to make-up.

“Good morning, Chiaki! You came in early today.” She greeted him when he entered the concert venue in the morning. She was at the reception trying to find something in her make-up bag when she noticed him stopping next to her. He looked at her before nodding his head as his lips formed a small smile.

“I woke up early today. Searching for something?” He joked.

She laughed and shook her head while concentrating to search through her bag. “Chiaki, you need to work on your sleep patterns. Yes, I can’t find a concealer and I know I put it inside here.” she sighed shoving her arm in the bag as her fingers fondled the items inside it.

Chiaki laughed and offered to help, but she politely refused. When she finally had found the respective item, she pulled it out victoriously, her expression making Chiaki chuckle.

“You sure you don’t need help with the bag? Seems like a handful there.” Chiaki asked with a smile on his face. She returned the smile. As she made eye-contact with him, she saw his bare face that she always sees before she would apply the stage make-up and she thought that on that day he looked the cutest.

“No, I’m fine, don’t worry. I deal with this every day.” She chuckled along with him. They both walked to the changing room and started preparing for the upcoming concert.

Chiaki appreciated her quality of being straightforward without sounding rude or offensive. She knew exactly how to manage her life and that was another trait that he admired at her. She seemed like a very responsible and put-together person that would always have a kind attitude at work even if she had a bad day. He was very good at analyzing people from afar thanks to his artistic and emotional side. He also talking to her, so that was a good reason as to why he had learned so much about her.

Before he had realized, he was in love with her. He wanted to get closer to her whenever she would apply his make-up, so he would sometimes bring his face in close to hers, making her red in the face. He would suddenly start asking questions about the products that she used and about her techniques. He would also fool around with her and tease her before innocently pretending that it was nothing and changed the subject.

“There, you are all done.” She declared looking at Chiaki. She looked at his face from every angle to make sure he was flawless. He blinked as he felt exposed under her gaze. It was his time to get embarrassed. He found it hard to get used to her face very close to his. He gulped softly.

It felt like no one else was in the room except for them, and though there was a lot of noise, they only heard each other speak.

Chiaki nervously placed his hands on the vanity table in front of him and looked in the mirror to see her doing his hair. The way she ran her fingers through his soft dyed red locks made him less anxious. His chest didn’t feel heavy anymore and his heart felt like it would pop out of him at any time.

“Are you nervous about tonight?” she asked noticing his stiff posture. Chiaki coughed to loosen his posture and shook his head.

“No no, I’m alright. I can’t wait to go back home.” he joked in a bored voice trying to hide his smile.

After finishing his make-up and hair, she moved on to the next member of the band.

As she was doing Miyako’s make-up, Chiaki would walk around her to distract her. He would start asking questions and teasing both her and the blonde guitarist making them and the entire staff that was in the room laugh. He wanted extra time around her and wanted to make her laugh.

Chiaki excused himself outside for a smoke when she finished doing the make-up for Miyako. He needed time for himself to process the upcoming event.

Soon, the concert started. All the four members went up on the stage and she was able to watch them shine as they would always do in her eyes.

The performance finished and Chiaki was the first to come down in the backstage. He took a quick look around and his eyes couldn’t find her. He, unfortunately, had to stay around and take pictures and handle other matters that were to be done after a concert.

Once his job had finished, he excused himself and walked around the backstage. He then had the idea to go outside to check. He exited the venue from the back door and saw her sunk down on her knees on the ground. He immediately rushed to her side and crouched on the cold asphalt in front of her.

“What happened?” he asked softly dipping his head in to inspect her face. She lifted her face and tried wiping away her tears smiling.

“No, nothing, I just, got too moved by your words during the MC part and stepped outside for a while.” She said not looking into his eyes, continuing to wipe away her tears.

Chiaki blinked before he reached softly and grabbed her wrist to stop her from moving. He reached with his other hand and wiped away the tears on her red cheeks. He looked into her eyes before he instinctively closed the gap between them. His plump lips touched hers in a soft kiss. He gently placed her hand down and used his free hand to reach behind her neck to pull her deeper into the kiss in a gentle manner. She gladly accepted him, and they gently adjusted their position on the ground so that their upper bodies would touch more. She had her arms around his neck as she gently tangled her fingers in his dyed hair. His arms snaked around her waist as his chest was pressed around hers.

They both broke the kiss and looked into each other’s eyes catching their breaths. Her face was red and both pairs of lips were swollen. Chiaki’s eyes followed every movement, fearing rejection so much he felt his hands shaking.

Her surprised eyes met his and after processing the new information in her brain, she smiled at him. Chiaki’s heart had never pounded so fast before, not even before his first live performance.

His slightly shaky hand reached her cheek and softly caressed it as her hair brushed his skin.

They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment, both not knowing what to say next.

Chiaki finally broke the ice after letting out a small cough from his dry throat.

 “I… like you a lot. I have been liking you for a long time.” He confessed lowering his eyes to the ground.

After a long pause, Chiaki continued.

“Sorry for the unexpected gesture, I was moved by your reaction and couldn’t help myself.” He mumbled looking at the ground.

She blinked before starting to laugh. Her laugh echoed in his ears so loud, he was unable to hear anything else around them.

He looked at her confused before she went closer and pulled him in a warm hug wrapping her arms around his torso.

“Thank you, Chiaki. I like you too.” She smiled hugging him tightly. He sighed before pulling her closer to his body and nuzzling his face in her hair.

Chiaki let out the longest sigh he could ever let, before pulling her tightly in his arms, burying his face in her soft hair. He finally felt at peace that night.