When Rey spun around herself, the strands that had gotten loose from the braids that wrapped around her head tickled her cheek. That would have never happened before. Before, Rey made sure her hair was always perfectly secure on the three buns so nothing about her seemed disordered to anyone who crossed her path.
But that was before, and a lot had changed since then.
The change happened so gradually, at such a comfortable pace set by her, and only her, Rey didn’t even notice it happening. That was until for the second week in a row, she kept losing to Ben at practice.
She grunted in frustration as Ben laughed, offering his hand to her. Rey slapped it away and stood up on her own, patting off the sand that had dirtied her black pants. Black, still, because Rey never changed her opinion on it being the most flattering color on her.
“I think there might be something wrong with my lightsaber,” Rey said, glaring when the statement made Ben laugh harder.
He bit back the rest when a wave of rage hit him through their bond. “What makes you say that?”
“For one, I keep losing to you.”
“Have you considered I’m just- better?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Shush, Solo. We’ve been training with each other for over a year and now miraculously you’ve started to win all the time? No, no. There is something wrong with my lightsaber,” Rey declared, looking down at the weapon her hands, the blades sizzling red as they always had.
Ben tipped his head and decided there was more to her statement than pride, gently wrapping a hand around the hilt, right next to hers. When Rey let go of the saber Ben took a step back and swayed it on his sides, getting a feel of it. “You know your weapon far more intimately than I do, but to me, it feels the same as it always did.” He gave it back.
Rey frowned at the thing as if that would help with anything. She sighed. “You’re right. It feels the same as it always has, but for some reason…”
“For some reason?”
“I don’t feel in sync with it anymore.”
Ben noticed how distressed Rey looked, staring at her weapon like it was making her incredibly frustrated. He pushed Rey’s hand down and she got the cue, turning off the blades so he could come closer. Ben pulled her to his chest, tucking her under his chin and running his hand through the loose part of Rey’s hair.
“I have no idea of what’s wrong,” Rey murmured into the fabric of Ben’s shirt. “Maybe it’s me.”
The realization hit Ben so fast he wondered how he didn’t see it before. “Oh, of course! It’s you.” Rey pulled away, looking partially hurt and partially really angry. He hurried to clarify himself. “There is nothing wrong with you, I just don’t think that the Rey that built this lightsaber is the same Rey standing in front of me.”
Rey did not look any less upset after his explanation. “I didn’t build my saber to begin with, it was made for me. I altered it to fit me as I grew older.”
“Okay, maybe I expressed myself poorly. I was trying to make a point about the core of the saber.”
“The Kyber? I cracked it by accident when I was making alterations a few years ago, but I wouldn’t have kept it if it still didn’t work perfectly fine. I’ve had it this way for a long time and it has never been a problem before, so if that’s the point you were going to make, it’s wrong.”
Ben wanted to laugh at how stubborn Rey was, that was something that had never and would probably never change. “No, sweetheart, that was not the point I was going to make.” He set a kiss on her forehead. Ben didn’t know if it was the appearance of the rare nickname or the kiss, but Rey looked (slightly) less angry when he leaned back to explain. “I’m not sure if you know this, I only learned it because of my Jedi training, but Kyber crystals are attuned to the light side of the Force by nature, they resist darkness. So say a dark-sider wants a Kyber for their lightsaber, they need to use the Force to bend the crystal to their will, which makes it bleed and turn red. Corrupting the Kyber to dominate it, if you will.”
“Okay.” She looked more receptive to Ben’s theory.
“The Kyber in your lightsaber responds best to darkness, it expects it from you,” he said softly, trying to avoid her from closing up again, knowing Rey enough to predict her response to what he was saying. “If you’re not in sync with it, maybe it’s because you’re not giving it what it needs.”
Rey didn’t seem defensive as he had expected, but rather amused. “Are you saying the lightsaber is resisting me because I have forsaken darkness? Starlight, you know me better than anyone. You can feel the Force inside me, you know that’s not the case.”
“I didn’t say you have turned away from darkness completely, but… you’ve been growing in the light, Rey.”
There was the defensiveness Ben was expecting to see. “Ben,” she said his name in the familiar way he knew as whatever you’re doing or saying, stop it.
Luckily, Ben was one of the only people in the galaxy who truly didn’t fear Rey. Not anymore, at least. “I know change frightens you and you don’t want to talk about this-”
“You’re right, I don’t.”
Ben huffed, pulling her closer once again, but that time taking his lips to hers, pressing a gentle kiss there. “I wasn’t going to suggest that we talk about it, I was going to suggest a solution to your problem.”
“You may offer the solution, then, wise one.” He thought it was a positive thing Rey had only used a slight hint of sarcasm.
“Let’s get you a Kyber that hasn’t been corrupted. One that you actually chose yourself too. I went to Ilum as a youngling to harvest mine from the Crystal Cave, I could take you there.”
Rey cringed and he tipped his head in question. “Well, Snoke had some- plans for Ilum, so I believe the First Order has had domain over it for a long time now.”
She hesitated, then cleared her throat and said in a scarily casual tone, “Yes, something about using the planet’s core to power a system-destroying superweapon called Starkiller Base.” Ben looked absolutely horrified. “Don’t worry, I don’t believe Hux knew about this plan, Snoke was very secretive about it,” she huffed, “Even if he knew, I don’t think he would execute it properly, he’s truly a disgrace as a Supreme Leader.”
“Now, I feel better,” Ben said ironically.
Rey patted his arm condescendingly. “That’s great, starlight.” Ben rolled his eyes. “Anyhow, want to go with Ilum with me tomorrow?”
“No planet should ever be this cold,” Ben complained as they walked among the trees, arms wrapping around himself to try and retain some warmth.
Having grown up in a frigid spaceship, Rey was more than comfortable with the cold, pulling the wrap on her neck tighter and huffing a laugh. “Haven’t you been here before?”
“Doesn’t mean I liked it the first time.”
Rey turned around and pouted, mocking. “Come here, sweet thing, I’ll warm you up,” she said, circling a complaining Ben to hug him from behind. Ben stopped his protests when her arms were around him, realizing he didn’t want to push her away even if it was to prove a point. “Better?”
His hands came to rest on top of her arms. “Much, actually.”
“Glad to be of help.”
Considering how much taller Ben was compared to Rey, walking behind him was difficult enough, but adding to that challenge was the fact they were in a forest covered in snow. They ended up stumbling and slipping more than they made progress to reach the cave.
“Ah! This is not working, Rey, I’m going to end up on top of you,” Ben said after almost falling.
“And that’s suddenly a problem after all this time because…”
Ben snorted and rolled his eyes, gently pulling her arms away. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Rey didn't have to consider the idea she had for long, sliding the heavy cape off her shoulders and throwing it onto his before he could argue. She didn’t really mind being one layer down and the face Ben made when he realized how warm the fabric was made being a little bit colder worth it.
“Won’t you be cold?” he asked, guilty, as Rey fastened the clasp of the cloak.
“I’m used to it, starlight. Besides, you know I like you like this.”
Ben huffed, as he always did when she pointed out how good he looked in black. “I do.”
Rey winked and turned back around, going to the direction Ben had pointed to. They were talking casually, but the conversation stopped abruptly when they heard a few noises in the distance, hands coming to rest on their lightsabers.
They gravitated closer in a reflex, ready to protect each other if they had to, looking around for the threat. The tense silence was filled with laughter when the source of the noise, a wandering animal, hopped by.
Ben grabbed Rey’s gloved hand in his. Let’s go. She nodded and they hurried, thankfully reaching the cave without bumping into any trouble. Rey was about to make a snarky comment about Hux’s guarding of the planet, but the words died in her throat when she saw how beautiful the place was.
It wasn’t pitch black as one would expect a cave to be, the rock walls bathed in light from the crystals, small white beams that were buried within. The Force was strong there too, tranquil and comforting like an embrace, and as Rey walked inside she brushed her fingers on the walls, feeling the energy buzzing under her fingers even through the glove.
“What now?” Rey asked in a murmur, mesmerized by her surroundings.
“Now let the Force guide you,” Ben said, standing a few steps back, letting Rey take her time.
Rey walked further inside, looking up and around, truly fascinated. Needing something more, she brought a hand to her mouth, biting on the glove to remove it then spreading the uncovered palm on the wall. She took a content breath when she felt the buzzing energy under her bare skin and walked further until something told her to stop, her fingers brushing right on top of a beam of light.
Rey knew she had found what she was looking for, the Kyber was practically calling out for her from the other side, like the best music she’d ever heard.
“Here.” She looked back at Ben.
“Okay, now you mine it with this.” He came closer to offer her a tool.
Rey looked at how deep the beam seemed to be buried inside the rock, then back at Ben, raising her brow. She took her lightsaber from where it was clipped at her waist and ignited one of the blades, painting the walls red. “I think this will be faster.”
“And only slightly unconventional.” Rey shrugged and Ben huffed a laugh, taking a step back.
She was careful digging her blade into the stone and cutting a circle around the beaming crystal, leaving a safe distance to avoid damaging it or cracking it (again). Once that was done she pulled the big piece out, stumbling back from how heavy it was.
Ben offered the tool again. “Now you chip away the rock with this-”
“Or I can do this,” Rey interrupted, taking the big rock piece and chucking it back at the wall, making it break into smaller pieces and fall to the floor.
Rey ignored the irresponsible and reckless cries coming from Ben and smiled widely when she realized the crystal had broken free, lying on the ground. She kneeled to take a closer look, leaning in.
“It’s white? I didn’t expect it to be white.”
Ben sighed in frustration when he noticed she had just ignored everything he had said, but since the Kyber seemed intact and Rey looked incredibly happy, he let it go. “It should take color once you touch it and claim it.”
She looked up at him, hands planted on her knees like they were glued there. “If it becomes one of the common Jedi colors I will never hear the end of it from Finn.”
Ben laughed. “Jedi colors?”
“You know, blue and green just scream Jedi. If it turns out to be one of those Finn will never stop saying he thinks I should cave and let Luke train me.”
“He just says that because he knows it annoys you.”
“Still, I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.”
Ben smiled and motioned to the beaming white crystal, lying on the ground. “Let’s see if you will.”
Even if she had no reason to, Rey couldn’t help but feel nervous, just staring at the beaming white crystal for a while. Eventually, she let out a shaky breath and went for it, taking it between two fingers and bringing it to eye level. Rey realized upon touching it she didn’t care what color the crystal would turn out to be, the Force in its core instantly going in harmony with her own and reminding her of the reason why she had chosen it in the first place.
“Oh, that’s so unique. It’s going to look- incredible on the handle,” Rey said once she saw the color appear on the crystal, already picturing her blades glowing in the new shade. “Gold. For royalty.”
Ben couldn’t stop smiling. “And how does it feel like?”
“Like it’s mine… or like it’s an extension of me.” Rey stood up, looking up from the stone to Ben’s face. “Thank you for suggesting we’d come.”
Ben held Rey’s chin, tipping her lips upward so he could set a kiss there. “I’m glad you let me help.”
Rey stood high on her toes and wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck, sliding her tongue along his lips until he opened up for her, meeting in a deeper kiss. Ben’s hands came to her waist, pulling her closer to him, eyes falling shut to just focus on feeling her, tasting her.
They parted after a short while and Rey left a kiss on the corner of Ben’s mouth, then on his chin, jawline, just below his ear, until she reached his neck, burying her face there and taking a deep breath, incredibly full of him. “I love you so much,” she whispered, not sure if she was telling Ben or reminding herself.
He couldn’t help the way his heart jumped or the smile that stretched his lips, as it always did on the rare occasions Rey managed to verbalize her feelings. Ben turned to place the softest lingering kiss on her temple. “I love you too.”
Ben felt her smile on his skin in response. After a moment Rey pulled away. “Let’s go, I want to make the exchange.”
They found their way back into the ship without any unfortunate events, but that time Rey couldn’t help but comment on Hux’s carelessness, they hadn’t encountered a single stormtrooper, no guards, nothing.
“It sounds like you’re complaining that we’ve had no issues.”
Rey huffed in amusement, grabbing the bag of instruments Ben had brought at her request and going into the room, turning it upside down on the bed. “I’m not. I just can’t miss an opportunity to point out Hux’s incompetence, that's all.”
Ben watched as Rey carefully placed the Kyber and her lightsaber on one of the soft pillows, browsing through the small tools and not hesitating for a second before starting to disassemble her weapon. It made Ben smile, how excited she was about this even if she wouldn’t admit it, not willing to wait until they got back at the base to exchange the crystals.
“I still don’t think it’s a good idea to just keep the ship on the planet, I’ll get us out of here.”
“Keep it steady,” Rey ordered, not taking her eyes off her task.
Ben snorted and murmured back an ironic yes, Supreme Leader before he headed to the cockpit, considering a rocky takeoff just to annoy Rey, but deciding against it. He didn’t know how long he had been distracted by the passing stars before he was startled by some loud banging, followed by some sizzling and grating sounds.
A pause, then loud panting. “Yeah?”
“What’s that noise?”
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” she responded, sounding short of breath. After another pause she continued, “Actually, can you come here a second?”
Ben immediately put the ship on autopilot and made his way to the room, stopping at the door when faced with the scene inside. Rey had taken most layers of her clothes off, left in her breast band and high-waisted pants, a light coat of sweat covering her forehead as she randomly stood in the middle of the room. The room, also, was in complete chaos, tools, pieces, ship equipment scattered all around the floor.
“What- Rey, what is all this?”
“There you are! I need your opinion, starlight.”
Ben aimed the tip of his feet on the free spaces he could see on the ground so he could step closer to her. At the center of the bed, Rey’s lightsaber was completely disassembled, separated into pieces.
“I thought you were just going to change the crystals. You took the whole thing apart.”
“I did, yes, that’s why your help is needed.”
Ben sat on the bed (or curled himself to fit around the scattered junk) to inspect closer, realizing some pieces that used to have some detailing in red were gone. “Are you removing pieces? It will probably throw off your balance, the hilt will be shorter.”
“I’m not removing them, I’m replacing them.”
Unlike Ben, who had tiptoed around the mess, Rey kicked things aside with her feet and moved closer, showing Ben what she had in her hands. His eyes widened when he recognized the broken pieces of her dear training staff, looking up at her with shock.
“Holy stars. This is Mandalorian steel, Rey, how did you break this apart?!”
Rey pointed to her sweaty, half-clothed figure. “With considerable effort. Now, what do you think of using these circular parts where the red detailing used to be? I think the gold blade will look better with the darker metal.”
Ben stared at her like he couldn't believe it, then laughed softly. “Show me the options.”
Rey sat beside Ben on the bed and he helped her create a new design from the pieces she’d broken off. It came together nicely, and Rey knew immediately when they had made the right layout.
“This, just like this. I like it.”
“It looks beautiful. It’ll suit you.”
Rey didn’t even try to hide how much she’d liked the comment, Ben would know either way. “I know,” she said, leaning in and leaving a kiss on his shoulder.
Rey felt a hand covering her mouth, keeping her from making more noise, so naturally, she bit it.
“Ah! Do you want someone to find us?” Ben asked, breathless, halting his movements so he could glare at her.
Rey smirked. “Coward. No one is going to find us.”
She nudged him forward with the leg that was hitched on Ben’s hip, urging him on. Ben didn’t have much self-control when it came to Rey, so that’s all it took for him to cave and bury his face on the curve of Rey’s neck again. He kept going, every thrust sending Rey’s back against the wall behind her, tearing those pretty breathy noises Ben loved from her.
Ben watched Rey bite her red-tainted lips, head thrown back, sweat sliding down her throat to the collar of her dress. She held the hem of the dress higher so they could see Ben sliding in and out of her, and how lucky he felt to have that beautiful woman on his arms to love and worship.
“I’m starting to think- you want to be found, taking this- ah, Ben! Taking this long,” she said in what he recognized as an attempt at a teasing tone.
Ben huffed and started to go faster, harder, grunting on her neck when he felt her squeezing around his cock, trying to push him over the edge. It worked.
Rey felt the warmth of Ben spilling inside her, filling her up, and rested her forehead on his shoulder, letting him ride it out. She let go of the dress to wrap her arms around his back, hands brushing up and down lazily as Ben came down.
“Your dress, I don’t want to stain it,” Ben said between deep breaths.
“It’s fine, you won’t. We should get back, people must be looking for us.”
He frowned. “We’re not done.”
Her leg fell from his hip, the parts of the long dress that weren't trapped between them falling to the floor. “We can finish this later-” she started saying but Ben was already on his knees.
He grabbed her leg again and threw it over his shoulder, pushing the dress back up. “I’m not risking getting your dress dirty,” he murmured with a smirk before his mouth took over where his cock had been, working his tongue in the way he knew she liked.
Rey could argue or push him away, but they had gone that far, why stop now? She widened her legs and threaded her fingers on the loose part of his hair, meeting him halfway. When that pair of pretty eyes looked up at her she smiled. Force, she was lucky to have Ben.
He licked every bit that was trickling out of Rey, both his and hers, then sucked on her clit like he was on a mission, building a rhythm to get her to fall fast. Compliments, profanities, and his name mixed and spilled from her lips as she rode his face, not shy about it, knowing how sexy Ben found it when she just took what she wanted.
Ben held her as Rey’s body shook, peppering kisses to the inside of her thighs when she pushed him away from her sensitive clit. After Rey felt stable enough, she let her leg slip from his shoulder to the floor.
“See? Not a coward.”
Rey huffed, lifting a hand to wipe Ben’s chin clean as he fixed his shirt, then smoothed the creases from her dress. When he looked to her face, Ben brought the back of his finger to delicately brush the corner of her lips, probably getting rid of a smudge. Her heart still sang when Ben touched her like that, gentle as if she was something precious to him.
“I thought I had ruined your braid,” Rey murmured, holding Ben’s chin and tipping his head to see the braid that he had made on one side of his head to match hers. It looked the same, still tight to the scalp, no unwanted hairs flying out of it. “But I didn’t.”
He smiled. “Good, your hair is still the same as well.”
She grabbed Ben’s hand, locking their fingers and pulling him from the balcony toward the noise of laughter and conversation inside.
The first person they saw coming in was Poe. “Enjoying the view? I know we’ve been stationed here a while, but the view is- breathtaking.”
Rey ignored what he was implying he'd heard and grabbed the drink in his hand, something purple and fizzy, finishing it for him. “Were you watching the door?”
“Someone had to, with all that noise you were making you were bound to attract unwanted attention.”
Ben shot Rey an I told you so look and she rolled her eyes, shoving the empty glass back into Poe’s hand. “It’s my wedding, Dameron, I’ll do with my husband as I please.”
“I would drink to that, but...” Poe glanced at his glass, then back at Rey, eyes filled with amusement.
Rey huffed a laugh, then patted her friend’s shoulder. “Thank you,” she said truthfully.
“Someone had to look out for the wellbeing of the bride and groom.”
Ben wrapped an arm around Rey’s waist and another on Poe’s shoulder, walking along the corridors of the base back to where the celebration was being held. As soon as they reached the party, Rey got pulled from Ben's arms by a slightly intoxicated Kaydel, who offered him a smug triumphant smile and dragged her to the dance floor.
Rey’s arrival was celebrated, people urging her on, screaming compliments as she danced.
Rey was grand in every sense of the word. She was capable of great darkness, but she had also become unafraid of her growing light. Rey was constant change but she was also familiarity and comfort. She was bravery, beauty, power, endless potential. Ben loved her so much.
Ben didn’t even realize he was grinning as he watched her dance, twirling around herself, laughing with their friends, full of life. Rey’s red lips were stretched around her wide smile, her black dress (which was stainless, thankfully) flowing and moving with her, beautiful as she’d always been.
Then she was looking at Ben, her smile just for him, offering him her hand from far away. Ben took it and joined her, arms lacing around her middle and bringing her toward him. Somewhere in his mind he registered people were looking, but he couldn’t pay them too much attention when Rey was looking up at him like that, chin on his chest, stars in her eyes.
Ben leaned and pressed a kiss to Rey’s forehead, smiling against her skin when a voice in his head reminded him that he was kissing his wife, he was holding his wife.
“What are you smiling about?”
“It’s my wedding day, am I not allowed to be happy?”
Rey narrowed her eyes at him before huffing and resting her head against his chest, right over his heart, as they continued their dance. When the song was over Ben felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see his parents standing right there.
Ben raised a brow. “You want Rey for a dance, dad?”
Han huffed his amusement. “Of course not, your mother wants you for a dance so I’m gracing Rey with my presence until that’s done.”
“Would a dance with me be so bad, old man?” Rey teased, a smirk on her lips that could rival his.
“You know I don’t dance, kid.”
Han offered Rey his arm and she took it after giving Ben a warm look, walking to the side to watch him and Leia dance from a distance.
Rey would never know what had happened to her own parents and the thought used to anguish her in the past, keep her from sleep, but thankfully the present was brighter.
The pain of what she could have had was still there, but it didn’t take from the comfort of the family she’d found, who were loyal and relentless on their task to be there for her, supporting her regardless of what she’d done in the past. Finn, who had once called her a master but later found his true place as Rey’s best friend. Poe, who had been Rey’s prisoner, but had become her confidant, her companion. Kaydel and Rose, who from the moment Rey joined the Resistance never once doubted her character. Leia and Han, who never held the fact Rey had tried to take their son away from them against her, always helping her on her journey to the light.
Ben, the man the Force had tied Rey with in its mysterious wisdom, the one whose soul was an extension of her own, that she had chosen to fight by, to protect, to love, as long as they both lived.
The pain of the parents she’d lost would be there forever, but also would be the certainty of the family she’d found, and that was enough for Rey.
“Are you leaving tonight?” Han asked.
“Tomorrow. You know me, no drinking and flying.”
“So responsible.” Han seemed amused. “Let’s see how that changes now you’re officially a Solo.”
Rey laughed, happiness bubbling in her chest. She finally had a surname that wasn’t borrowed or inherited by someone she’d never met, she finally had a surname that truly belonged to her.
Rey Solo. Who would have thought?
“Give it time, it’s only been a few hours.”
By the end of the celebration, most people were back in their rooms, sleeping with their stomachs full and their feet bruised from dancing, but there were still the ones that resisted. Poe had made a pun out of it.
Kaydel was still dancing even though there was no more music playing, but they suspected it was because the new girl, Jannah, was dancing with her. Rose and Poe had disappeared, and knowing his friends, he knew exactly what they were doing.
Ben was sitting on the floor, watching Rey and Finn stare deeply into each other’s eyes from a distance, almost holding their breaths.
“Yes!” Rey screamed, stumbling to her feet. She swayed to the side. “I win!”
“I call,” Finn hiccuped, “for a rematch!”
Rey sighed, dramatically. Her cheeks were flushed. “Don’t you get tired of losing to me?”
“No. I want another game.”
“Fine. What game?”
Finn looked around himself, to the training room which was covered in wedding decorations, weapons shoved to a corner to give way to now mostly empty tables of food. He had an idea. “Battle game!” Finn walked in what he thought to be a straight line to the table behind him and grabbed one of the two objects there. He looked back at Rey with a playful smirk and dangled the shiny object in the air. She raised a single brow.
Finn looked down at his own hand, surprised to notice he had grabbed Rey’s lightsaber instead of his own. He glanced back just in time to see his own weapon levitate from between the empty glasses carefully before flying directly into Rey’s hand.
With the polished and familiar sound, the blade shone blue in Rey’s hand, reflecting her playful eyes.
“Let’s see what Skywalker has been teaching you.”
Finn was usually responsible with his lightsaber, an elegant weapon from more civilized days, his master had told him, but he was not exactly sober, so he ignited Rey’s weapon and got ready.
Somewhere in the back of Ben’s mind he was aware that might be a danger to that “game”, but Rey was smiling so wide, Finn was laughing so loud, Ben was so drunk, he decided to just enjoy it.
Finn and Rey made snarky remarks, jokingly calling each other Supreme Leader and traitor between loud laughter and clashing lightsaber blades. Ben was happy looking at the man and woman he loved so deeply. He couldn't believe that feeling, that love he felt for Rey, had once terrified him in a dream. Weirdly, the dream had looked just like that.
“You can’t do that! That’s cheating!” Finn said when Rey used the Force to make him lose his balance, then summoned her weapon to her hand and left him to fend for himself.
“Said who?” she asked, swaying the sabers on her sides with surprising dexterity for someone slurring through her words.
They both looked at him, expecting an answer. “I mean, you could have done what she did, just-” He flicked his hand and Finn stumbled the other way, nudged by the Force once again.
Finn gasped, outraged, struggling to find his footing. “Stop it!”
“Rey wins,” Ben announced and the next second she was running toward him, arms wrapping around his neck. She aimed for his lips, but ended up kissing his cheek, his nose and his chin before getting it right.
Their friends cheered, whistling and shouting obscene jokes until Rey and Ben broke apart laughing.
That night when Rey fell asleep in her lover’s arms, she tried to remember how things were before Ben, before the Resistance, before finally finding her family.
She tried to remember the life she had before, feeling like she didn’t belong to herself, how it felt to not be in control of her emotions, her power, her life. She tried to remember how it felt to not be safe, accepted, respected, loved.