Actions

Work Header

Oneiric

Work Text:

Princess Celestia was walking down a hallway with her usual poise and elegance. Her gold-adorned hooves clip-clopped against the marble floor, her head held high atop her sleek neck. She needed to exude confidence even in the simplest of actions to assure her subjects that all was well in Equestria.

...except her subjects seemed oddly absent.

Strange. There should be some guards standing in the corridors and servants, maids, and clerks bustling about as they did their daily work. Perhaps she would find them in the throne room?

Deciding to search for the missing ponies, Celestia pivoted around to head back to the hall when she felt something brush against her fetlocks. It wouldn’t be too strange, usually. Her mane and tail were both long enough to ger tangled around her legs if she were not careful. This thing, though, was certainly not made of hair. She could feel the leg touching it just as clearly as she had felt it touch the leg. The thing was long, narrow, and connected to her underbelly. Suspicion dawning in her mind, she looked around one last time to assure herself she was completely alone, before cocking up one of her hind legs and bending her neck to look.

Yes, it was exactly what she thought it was.

“Luna, this is not funny! Don’t take it out on me just because you are a sore loser.”

Silence.

Well, at least she knew that her sister wasn’t watching her right now. She probably just created the dream and left to do her nightly duty. Celestia refused to acknowledge the possibility that this strange situation could have been generated by her own mind. Princesses did not dream of having huge penises.

The knowledge that this was all a dream put her somewhat at ease. She need not be embarrassed about anything she did here. No one would know. Well, no one but her sister who would not be telling anyone. Luna had sworn a solemn oath to never reveal what she had seen in dreams of others. She hadn’t broken it even when she had turned into Nightmare Moon.

Celestia resumed her journey to the throne room, trying hard to ignore the appendage swaying between her hind legs. It was rather counterproductive. A bit like focusing on not feeling the presence of your tongue.

*****

There was much to discover in the empty dream version of her castle. The differences started off as subtle changes in the arrangement of the furniture, but the more rooms she peeked into the more bizarre the contents became. It was quite scary in some places. One room, for example, looked fine at first sight, but upon closer look, she could see that everything was slightly fuzzy and transparent at the edges. Out of the corners of her eyes, she could sometimes see something move and when she turned around to leave, she found that two large bookshelves had halfway blocked the exit. She was much more careful about entering any rooms after that, but it seemed as if the horrors were limited to that particular space. The most sinister thing she saw afterwards was an empty hall with a giant butterfly cocoon hanging from the ceiling.

At some point during her exploration, her bladder started demanding attention. She thought nothing of it. It was only a dream after all, and she would come across a bathroom sooner or later, right?

Wrong.

Since she wasn’t tiring from the constant walking, it was difficult for her to measure the passage of time. She guessed that at least several hours had passed since she went to sleep, but dreams could seem longer than they actually were. Her need was reaching the point where it passed from present but negligible to slightly uncomfortable, and not a single place that should have contained a bathroom actually had one. The door leading to the toilets were either missing outright, leading to a different place in the castle or, in one slightly strange case, contained an angry octopus with way too many tentacles. After that incident, Celestia opened all the doors she came across with her magic, peering in from a distance before approaching.

After a small eternity of wandering, she found the throne room. It came as a surprise since it was in the wrong part of the building. The princess took a moment to admire the strange stained-glass windows, before realizing that they were no windows at all. The roof was floating in place with no visible supports and a swarm of giant dragonflies sitting along the edges created the illusion of pillars and glass. She backed out of there quietly. She didn’t know whether these insects were predatory like their real-world counterparts, but she was not willing to find out first hand.

Her need to pee climbed up another degree. It was now hard to ignore and quite annoying. The continued exploration had still failed to provide an acceptable place to relieve herself (and pissing on the floor was not an option, even in a dream). Even the old commodes that had been kept around mostly as museum pieces were missing or deformed beyond recognition. Celestia was starting to become frustrated and the fact that her increased walking pace made her member swing around wildly did not improve her mood either.

Arriving at yet another place that should have held a bathroom, she was greeted with a sight of a hole in the wall. Outside, the royal gardens could be seen. Perhaps she could fly down and water the grass a little.

The glide seemed much longer than it should have been, but she had come to terms with the fact that the dimensions of the world around her were warped unrealistically. She landed in the middle of a maze. The hedges creating the walls were short, just reaching her flanks, but that was enough privacy for her. She spread her legs, leaned forward slightly and hitched her tail up. Finally, relief.

Just as she began to pee full torrent, however, she heard voices. The royal gardens were suddenly full of ponies. Couples walked around, families sat under trees, and a group of fillies was about to enter the maze…

Celestia panicked. For a moment she forgot that none of it was real. All she could think of was that everyone could see her. Sure, the plants covered her lower half, but her posture signalled what she was doing quite clearly. And someone could walk up to her in the maze and discover the puddle. Gritting her teeth, she managed to stop peeing, although small leaks were periodically escaping her. Spreading her wings, she leapt up and flew to the closest balcony, fervently praying that none of her leaks hit anyone below her.

Ducking back inside the castle, Celestia was getting desperate. Despite going for at least a minute before her panicked retreat her need had not abated at all, and her member was still occasionally dripping urine onto the floors. She resumed her search for a place to finish peeing, but this time she was much less picky. She would accept anything as long as it meant not flooding the floors like an ill-behaved pet. Luck seemed to be on her side. She had found the kitchens. Not wanting a repeat of the garden situation, she grabbed the largest empty pot (easily large enough for an adult pony to stand in) and carried it off to one of the small empty rooms with no windows. Celestia locked the door, used her hind leg to lift the offending appendage over the rim of the pot and stopped holding.

Urine immediately sprayed out like water out of a firehose. It hit the bottom with such a force that it splashed back up and a few droplets hit her belly. She tried to slow down, but her bladder and sphincters were unresponsive. She could do nothing as she continued to void into the copper receptacle. Within seconds, the sound of liquid hitting metal was substituted by liquid hitting liquid. The noise was obscenely loud and Celestia worried that it might be audible outside of the little room. The level of urine was raising steadily and she seemed no closer to being empty. Eventually, there was so much that the tip of her penis was submerged within the warm fluid. Celestia winced in disgust and levitated it slightly. Shortly after, the pot began overflowing. The urine spread across the room and eventually began seeping out under the door. Voices muttering unintelligibly could be heard outside and a hoof knocked on the door. Celestia teleported away.

Since she could not be certain about the layout of the castle, she decided to aim for a spot very high above the ground. She materialized above the cloud layer and landed atop one of the puffs. She was still peeing uncontrollably. The cloud began absorbing the moisture and turning dark under her, but it would hold out for a while before it began raining. She could feel familiar magic fill the air around her.

“Luna, this is getting ridiculous. I apologise for forcing you into that sucker bet, but please stop now.”

“I admit that I have tampered with thine dream in the beginning, but thine current situation is the result of thou needing to pass water. Even had I changed the dream, it would swiftly revert to a similar situation as it is thine body that is in control of it now. May I suggest waking up and visiting the closet?”

“No! This is my first chance to sleep in in over 1000 years and I am not going to waste it!”

“Very well, but do not come crying to us when thou wettest the bed.”

Celestia felt a bit guilty for snapping at her sister and resolved to apologise in the morning. For now, though, she had to deal with her own problems. Namely, her still pissing dick. The cloud below her had doubled in size since she had landed on it and was threatening to start spilling soon. She didn’t care anymore. It was just a dream. She pierced a hole in the fluff with one of her hooves, inserted her member, and laid down on her belly to make herself comfortable while she waited to finish her ridiculously long pee.

The cloud quadrupled in size before it could no longer hold what Celestia was adding. The rain began as a sparse shover, but soon torrential sheets were flooding the land below her. From her high perch, she could see the liquid running down the city streets, overflowing the moat and flooding the plains. The yellow water soon swallowed up the small villages and lower levels of the city. Rivers and lakes connected into a uniform body similar to a sea. And the level kept rising. When all that remained above the surface were tips of mountains, something changed. Celestia actually began to feel relief, as if her bladder was finally nearly empty. Standing back up, she watched as her stream slowed down and stopped. The sky cleared around her, clouds disappearing from below her hooves and she fell.

*****

Celestia shot up in her bed. The sun was up, birds were singing, and her sheets felt wet. A cursory look confirmed her fears and she darted off to her private bathroom to clean her fur before it became stained. White was such an annoying colour.

She came back to her room, contemplating what to do. She didn’t want to explain to the maids why her sheets were wet, but she didn’t know any cleaning magic. Well, she raised the sun every morning, how hard could this be?

*****

Luna passed by her in the corridor as the servants were removing the charred remains of her bed from the room. She did not say anything, but the smug look on her face practically screamed: ‘I told you so!’