"Hello and welcome back to the regional curling championships on WSN. Coming up next are the Iron Island Squids against the newest team in the league, The Strangers."
"Where are The Strangers from, Pat?"
"Well Bob, they don't have a city representation yet, they seem to just be a hodgepodge group that came out of nowhere."
"The only player we recognize is Sandor Clegane who once was part of the Lannisport Lions."
"Bob, isn't he the one that got angry and picked up team co-owner Tyrion Lannister and threw him down the lane?"
"One in the same, Pat! They're taking the ice now. And for you viewers at home, I was told by Network management that due to The Strangers taking the ice it may be wise for you to mute your televisions. We'll have our commentary on the crawl at the bottom of the screen."
"Hahaha that's a good one, Bob"
"No, seriously Pat…" stares at camera.
"Clegane is in the skip position and will be going last.'
"That's surprising he's not known for his aim."
"Hopefully he has practiced after hurling a stone through the plate glass partition last year. Remember that Bob?"
"The lead man just threw the first stone and the position is good!"
"And here comes the second throw. My Gods the lead man sweeping like mad. Second throw is pretty good. The Vice is up next and his teammates are poised and ready for the throw.
"Clegane is up and leaning over slightly. The intensity on his face, Bob! And there's the throw…'
"SWEEP YOU LAZY CUNT! SWEEEEEEEEEP FUCKING SWEEP. SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP! I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND SHIT DOWN YOUR CUNT THROAT. SWEEP!"
"And hopefully you were on mute, viewers. *cough*"
Coverage cuts to commercial.