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Playbill for Episode IX: The Musical (The Untold Fall of the First Order)

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Plot

Act One

Having ascended into the Force afterlife, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker watches the ongoing struggle between the Resistance and the First Order, reflecting on how history repeats itself in comforting, sentimental ways (“Nolstalgia”). Luke reflects on how the new war began when he mistakenly considered murdering his nephew, Ben Solo, in his sleep. The play skips back to the day of this incident and Ben’s fall to the dark side, renaming himself Kylo Ren (“Grandpa, what have I done?”). 7 years later, Kylo Ren is Supreme Leader of the First Order, and the First Order has fallen into disarray under his rule (“Now that Leader Snoke’s Dead”). In an effort to spite his former rival General Armitage Hux, Kylo summons Allegiant General Pryde, heightening the tension between Hux and Ren (“Careful, Ren”).

Meanwhile, the Resistance receives new intel from a spy and celebrates upon hearing about the sorry state of the First Order (“Winning This War”). However, the celebration is inadvertently ruined by Rey’s uncontrollable blue lightning powers. Rey continues her Jedi training, hoping to gain support from the Force ghosts, but only receives useless advice and interruptions from Kylo Ren (“Be with Me”).

Discouraged by the Supreme Council’s disdain and his most recent failure to contact Rey via Force bond, Kylo seeks comfort from his grandfather’s helmet. A mysterious voice advises him to go back to the dark side’s Sith roots by embarking on the ancient Sith Artifact Scavenger Hunt. The scavenger hunt leads Kylo to the lair of Emperor Palpatine who offers him an enormous fleet in exchange for tracking down Rey and warns him of a spy in the First Order (“Wayfinder”). Kylo returns to tell the Supreme Council about Palpatine’s fleet. After the meeting, General Pryde expresses his concern about Hux’s apparent “strategic” interest in Resistance pilots. In spite of Pryde’s warning, Hux, who is revealed to be the spy, continues to correspond with Commander Poe Dameron, his main contact in the Resistance whom he knew before the war (“In My Life”).

Back at the Resistance Base, Rey has a vision of her Sith lord doppelganger, who attempts to lure her to the dark side (“You’ll Join the Dark Side Tomorrow”). Disturbed by the dream, she consults General Leia Organa, who alerts her of the Sith Artifact Scavenger Hunt. Rey resolves to travel to the Sith planet of Exegol using a Wayfinder, hoping this will get to the root of her lightning problem. She is accompanied by Finn, Poe, Rose, Chewbacca, C3-PO and BB-8, though the first three continually emphasize their status as the true heroes (“The Sequel Trio”).

The Resistance gang arrives at the planet of Pasaana in the midst of a carefree celebration. They are welcomed by Lando Calrissian who gives them hints for the Sith Artifact Scavenger Hunt, though they are all constantly distracted by the festivities (“Welcome to Pasaana”). Kylo Ren finally succeeds in contacting Rey, but the two only argue and exchange threats (“All I Ask of You”). Distracted by her duet with Kylo, Rey fails to realize the approaching Knights of Ren, who capture Finn, Poe and Chewbacca. The prisoners are brought onboard a First Order Star Destroyer but are freed by Hux. Poe offers Hux a new life with the Resistance, and Hux accepts, allowing him to escape execution (“Treason”). Using Rey’s Force powers and Rose’s technical abilities to hack the First Order security, the group escapes. Kylo contacts Rey over the Force bond again, revealing that she is Palpatine’s granddaughter, and proposes that they join forces. Rey rejects him, leaving Kylo more solemn and conflicted than ever as the group wonders how to move forward (“Defeating Palpatine”).

Act Two

Pryde receives the news of Hux’s defection and grieves the loss of the younger general (“Little Cur, Little Armitage”). Having tracked the Resistance back to their base on Ajan Kloss, Pryde orders an attack on the planet, ignoring Hux’s pleas to accept his relationship with Poe. Much of the Resistance fleet is destroyed, leaving them absurdly outnumbered by the merged First Order/Final Order Fleet. Leia accepts a limited-time package to become a Force ghost, which she deserves because she’s dealt with more than enough of this galactic war BS, promoting Poe as general of the floundering Resistance (“Your Command”). Kylo receives word that his mother has joined the Force ghosts and the Resistance is almost defeated. He laments his inner conflict once more (“Torn Apart”).

While Poe rallies the Resistance, Rey and Finn travel to Endor to search for the Wayfinder. Finn meet Jannah and her gang of defected Stormtroopers, with whom he reflects upon his defection (“Finn”). After hearing his story, Jannah’s gang immediately adores Finn and take them as the King of the Traitors (“Consider Yourself”). In the ruins of the second Death Star, Rey meets Kylo, who once again attempts to form an alliance with her. In her anger, Rey inadvertently shoots lightning at Kylo, nearly killing him. Kylo recovers due to Rey’s mysterious healing powers, leaving them both confused about how the force works. Needing guidance, they both reach out the Force ghosts and successfully summon Anakin Skywalker. However, they soon discover that Anakin has no good advice to give, leading them to realize that they need to stop looking at the past for solutions (“All That Sand”). Rey and Kylo leave for Exegol, while Finn goes back to the Resistance with his new fanbase of defected Stormtroopers.

Poe and Hux craft a convoluted plan which involves destroying the power outlet to charge the button that toggles the fleet’s wireless connection to the navigation tower, though Hux is dubious of Poe’s hopeful outlook (“Plotting Song”). Poe, Hux, Rose, Finn and Jannah’s gang plan to infiltrate The Steadfast while the rest of the Resistance distracts the First Order with various annoyances, despite Hux’s warnings that bringing traitors and high-profile Resistance fighters on an undercover mission is not advisable. They are caught by Stormtroopers shortly after breaking in, but Poe dupes the Stormtroopers into believing they are a group of entertainers for Empire Day and allowing them onto the Command Bridge. The Rebels search for the power outlet while distracting the crew with a performance by Hux’s drag queen alter ego “Zorii Bliss” (“The Legend of Miss Zorii Bliss and the Rebel Scum”). The performance is met with thunderous applause, but they are nonetheless recognized by Pryde who imprisons them. Pryde finalizes the battle plans with Palpatine, decrying the disintegration of straightforward morality and unquestioning obedience (“Bad”).

Rey and Kylo arrive at Sith World, a dazzling Dark Side wonderland. There, they meet Palpatine, who is delighted to have his granddaughter home. However, his explanation of his survival makes no sense and his evil plan confuses both Rey and Kylo (“Good, good, good!”). Rey refuses to support her grandfather’s evil schemes and an angered Palpatine begins to shoot lightning everywhere, attacking the Resistance fleet above and propelling Kylo backwards into a conveniently placed abyss.

Back in The Steadfast, Pryde attempts to connect with Hux about how he was once just like him. His story leads them to the realization that Pryde is Hux’s father, reflecting the nostalgia of unexpected paternity (“Nostalgia (Reprise)”). As Pryde and Hux continue to argue, Kylo climbs out of the abyss with the support of his father, Han Solo, and the Force ghosts (“Dear Ben Chewbacca”). He and Rey overcome Palpatine but realize that killing the Emperor will only reset the cycle of war. Kylo and Rey resolve to use their influence as the last Skywalker and the last Jedi, respectively, to find peace and balance between their alliances. They return to the First Order, where Pryde has come to an uneasy truce with Poe, compensating for 35 years of missed birthdays and lack of paternal care for Hux. The company reflects on how change is inevitable in the galaxy but makes for a no less satisfying ending (“Finale”). The musical closes when Rey and Palpatine accidentally shoot lightning at the stage lights, causing a blackout.

Characters (in Order of Appearance)

Luke Skywalker – a renowned Jedi Master, now a Force ghost

Rey – the Last Jedi, granddaughter of Emperor Palpatine who struggles to control her lightning powers

Han Solo – a smuggler and scruffy-looking nerf-herder, the father of Ben Solo

Obi-Wan Kenobi – Luke and Anakin’s former mentor, a Force ghost obsessed with the High Ground

Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) – the heir of the Skywalker family and Emo Supreme Leader of the First Order

Anakin Skywalker (Darth Vader) – Kylo’s grandpa with an aversion to sand

Poe Dameron – the Resistance’s star pilot, former acquaintance (and perhaps more) of Armitage Hux

Leia Organa – the general of the Resistance who is very ready to retire, Ben’s mother

Armitage Hux (Zorii Bliss) – the youngest general in the First Order, resident rabid cur, his drag queen alter ego whom he performed at in his academy days is named “Zorii Bliss”

Dopheld Mitaka – acquaintance and peer of Hux, constantly Force choked/Force thrown by Kylo Ren

Enric Pryde – the Allegiant General of the First Order

Finn – a defected Stormtrooper-turned-Resistance-hero-turned-Force-sensitive-King-Finn-later-on-in-the-musical

Rose Tico – a skilled Resistance technician who is constantly overlooked by the main trio

Chewbacca – a Wookie veteran of the old war, the best copilot ever

C3-PO – a protocol droid who served both the Rebels and the Resistance, also constantly overlooked and underappreciated

BB-8 – Poe’s adorable metal ball of a dog, doesn’t speak or sing but beeps endearingly

Emperor Palpatine – Rey’s deranged, tyrannical, lightning-shooting grandpa

Sith Rey – Rey’s Dark Side Doppelganger

Lando Calrissian – an old friend of the Skywalkers who’s always wherever the party’s at

Jannah – leader of a gang of defected Stormtroopers

First Order Ensemble (Stormtroopers, First Order Officers, First Order Technicians), Knights of Ren, Resistance Ensemble (X-Wing Pilots, Resistance Troopers, Resistance Technicians), Pasaana Festival Ensemble, Defected Stormtroopers, Sith Ensemble, Force Ghost Ensemble

Musical Numbers

Act I.

  1. “Opening Text Crawl” – Cantina Band
  2. “Nostalgia” – Company

(Based on “Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof)

  1. “Grandpa, What Have I Done?” – Kylo Ren

(Based on “What Have I Done” from Les Misérables)

  1. “Now that Leader Snoke’s Dead” – Armitage Hux, Kylo Ren, Enric Pryde, Dopheld Mitaka, First Order Ensemble

(Based on “At the End of the Day” from Les Misérables)

  1. “Careful, Ren” – Armitage Hux, First Order Ensemble

(Based on “Mein Herr” from Cabaret)

  1. “Winning This War” – Poe Dameron, Rey, Finn, Rose Tico, Leia Organa, Resistance Ensemble

(Based on “King of New York” from Newsies)

  1. “Be with Me” – Rey, Leia Organa, Luke Skywalker, Force Ghost Ensemble

(Based on “Think of Me” from The Phantom of the Opera)

  1. “Wayfinder” – Kylo Ren, Emperor Palpatine, Knights of Ren, Sith Ensemble

(Based on “Matchmaker” from Fiddler on the Roof)

  1. “In My Life” – Armitage Hux, Enric Pryde, Poe Dameron, Leia Organa

(Based on “In My Life” from Les Misérables)

  1. “You’ll Join the Dark Side Tomorrow” – Sith Rey, Rey, Sith Ensemble

(Based on “Tomorrow” from Annie)

  1. “The Sequel Trio” – Rey, Finn, Poe Dameron, Rose, Chewbacca, C3-PO

(Based on “The Schuyler Sisters” from Hamilton)

  1. “Welcome to Pasaana” – Lando Calrissian, Pasaana Festival Ensemble

(Based on “Willkommen” from Cabaret)

  1. “All I Ask of You” – Kylo Ren, Rey

(Based on “All I Ask of You” from The Phantom of the Opera)

  1. “Treason” – Armitage Hux, Poe Dameron, First Order Ensemble

 (Based on “Helpless” from Hamilton)

  1. “Defeating Palpatine” – Company

(Based on “Defying Gravity” from Wicked)

Act II.

  1. “Entr’acte” – Cantina Band
  2. “Little Cur, Little Armitage” – Enric Pryde, Armitage Hux, Dopheld Mitaka

(Based on “Chavaleh Ballet Sequence” from Fiddler on the Roof)

  1. “Your Command” - Poe Dameron, Leia Organa, Resistance Ensemble

(Based on “Right Hand Man” from Hamilton)

  1. “Torn Apart” – Kylo Ren

(Based on “On My Own” from Les Misérables)

  1. “Finn” – Finn, Poe Dameron, First Order Ensemble

(Based on “Belle” from Beauty and the Beast)

  1. “Consider Yourself” – Jannah, Defected Stormtroopers

(Based on “Consider Yourself” from Oliver)

  1. “All That Sand” – Anakin, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Force Ghost Ensemble

(Based on “All That Jazz” from Chicago)

  1. “Plotting Song” – Armitage Hux, Poe Dameron

(Based on “Wedding Song” from Hadestown)

  1. “The Legend of Miss Zorii Bliss (And the Rebel Scum)” – Poe Dameron, Armitage Hux, Finn, Rose Tico

(Based on “The Legend of Loco Chanel (And the Blood Red Dress) from Everybody’s Talking About Jamie)

  1. “Bad” – Enric Pryde, Emperor Palpatine

(Based on “Class” from Chicago)

  1. “Good, good, good!” – Emperor Palpatine

(Based on “Wonderful” from Wicked)

  1. “Nostalgia (Reprise)” – Armitage Hux, Enric Pryde, Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Force Ghost Ensemble

(Based on “Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof)

  1. “Dear Ben Chewbacca” – Han Solo, Enric Pryde

(Based on “Dear Theodosia” from Hamilton)

  1. “Finale” – Company

(Based on “You Can’t Stop the Beat” from Hairspray)