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It's Not Cherry Pie But It's Just As Sweet

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Emerson is in a good mood. Yes, a good mood. He sits behind the wheel of his Mercedes and he grins as he drives. The road is smooth, the air is nice, and Ned and Olive are asleep in the back of the car – that translates to the kids being quiet.

And that is what he likes.

The girl just talks too much, most of the time, and it is frustrating. Especially given that she should never have known about their business in the first place.

But, thinking about business ...

It's a few hours away by car, but he'd only just managed to bundle Ned in the back before Olive had thrown herself in too, and it'd been what, eight o'clock? It's only nine. These people tire easily. But he'd explained the case – lady died, lady left immense fortune to boyfriend, but boyfriend might have been the killer.

It all tasted like moolah.

There's a craft and baked goods fair going on in town for the weekend, as the lady had apparently done some weird sculptures for a living – thus all her money. But she'd sponsored the Kreationz fair (dumbass name, Emerson thinks), and that's their way in. Ned and Olive will set up their pies on a stall, and they can talk to whoever.

He glances in his mirror: Olive's head is on Ned's shoulder now, and even in his sleep he's stiff and unsure about being touched.

Weird. Does he even like girls? Does he like boys? Does he not like anyone?

Does Ned even have sexy parts to play with if he does like someone? Who knows?

Emerson doesn't, and frankly, he doesn't care.

Man's asleep, and that's what Emerson likes about him right now.


Ned.” Noise. Noise. Ned is sleeping. What?

He opens his eyes, and is met with Olive. Olive who is, unnaturally, at face level with him.


You've got to get outta the car, Ned.” She says, and she tilts her head. She's pretty, Olive is, but he doesn't say so. They have a purely platonic relationship. Employee and employer. Piemaker and lady.

Ned has platonic relationships with everyone. It's sort of by necessity.

Oh. Okay.” He says, and she steps back; he gets out of the car, awkwardly making his way toward the motel. He knows the plan. They'll go to the morgue in the morning, and he and Olive will set up their stall, and it'll be great. Well. He'll still be reviving a dead person to ask who killed them, which isn't completely great, but other than that, anyway. “What time is it?”

Just a little past eleven.” Olive says lightly. “You sleep okay?” She seems to be looking at him significantly, but as Ned doesn't know what the significance is exactly, he makes the decision to just nod and then rush inside the motel after Emerson.

I want three rooms.” Emerson says to the guy behind the desk. The guy tchs. Oh, no. That's not good.

I can give you two.”

What? You nearly full?” Emerson asks, eyebrow raising. “'Cause if this is some “honeymoon suites don't count” shit, I can pay.”

No, sir, there's only two rooms left.”

Huh.” Emerson shrugs, hands over the money – he pays in cash. Ned had heard him begrudging using a card in motels before, but he hadn't been paying enough attention or asking enough questions to glean why exactly. “You got any twin beds?”

Nope. I'm giving you two singles.” Emerson shrugs again, and when he gets the keys, he throws the second to live.

Sleep tight.” He says, as he starts walking off in search of room 79.

Hey, hey, wait! Which-” Ned swallows. “So, am I sharing with-”

Oh, no. ” Emerson says, waggling his finger and speaking as sternly as he possibly can, shaking his head at the both of them. “I ain't sharing my bed with no one. You guys share.”

But- but it's only a single!” Ned protests, and Olive echoes in a not-nearly-as-disappointed tone, “Only a single!” Sharing a bed with Olive. Sharing a bed with anyone is a bizarre thought – Ned doesn't think he's actually slept in a bed with someone before, and the thought of being so close to Olive is-

Well, no, no, not bad , exactly, but intimidating and a bit terrifying, and oh, God.

Not my problem. Night night!”

Ned looks down at the motel key card. Room 19. He looks at Olive. Olive puts her hands behind her back, and she shifts on her feet, looking up at him in a way that can only be described as coquettish. Ned swallows hard, trying to rid himself of the lump in his throat.

I'm sure we'll be alright.” She says softly, with just the slightest seductive drawl that he most definitely must be imagining completely. He's not even attractive. Yeah. Yes. She's definitely not looking up and down, uh, the way she is. With her eyes. With her pretty blue eyes.

Her hand is on his hip, and he takes in a very slow, deep inhalation, shivering a little as she adjusts his sweater. “You don't mind sleeping next to me, right?” He shakes his head, mutely. He hasn't quite been able to will his feet to move yet. “But, Ned, I gotta warn ya...” She looks down at his feet, and he feels like her eyes are devouring him as she looks slowly up his body, until she meets his eyes again. She's so tiny . “I sleep naked.”

Ned lets out a sort of choked noise, and she laughs, patting her dainty little hand on her dainty little, very full chest. He breathes out. That was a joke. She's not going to be naked. Oh. Oh, God.

We'll just sleep in our underwear! You know, like cowboys!” She laughs again, and Olive's laugh sounds really, really nice. Pleasant, ringing – like bells. She hooks a finger through his belt and pulls him in the direction of their motel room, and his chest is very tight.

Did- did cowboys do that?”

Yeah, pretty sure!” She says. That doesn't really indicate anything – people are pretty sure of lots of things. Like, that the guy that makes the pies in the big pie store on the corner doesn't bring dead people back to life just by touching them. Lots of people are sure of that.

He almost manages confidence until they get into the room. It's small and it's cold – cold meaning that they'll want to press together. For warmth. Oh. Oh, no.

He stares at the bed, and it's so small. It's a single bed, but somehow it seems smaller, thinner, than any single bed Ned has ever seen in his life. The whole bedroom is small enough – there's a TV and a cupboard, an adjoining bathroom, and the bed with a sideboard next to it. Nothing else. No couch he can sleep on.

Olive just seems confident. Olive just takes off her clothes.

Ned croaks out a strange utterance that is very embarrassing to the year, but he can't really help it. She's already in her bra and panties, and they're pink with cupcakes printed all over them. They match.

Olive's breasts are beautiful , and Ned shouldn't be looking at them. He turns his head sharply away, and begins to very slowly undo his belt. Undressing is a slow and awkward affair, but he knows she won't be looking – she'll just have laid down in bed.


Olive is definitely looking.

Ned's back is pretty, big white stretch of skin and the dimple at the centre of his back, and it's broad, too. He's a skinny boy, true, with his little waist and his small hips, and even though he's slender he's still pretty large.

And God, that little behind. His derrière is just pretty, round and nice and she wants to put her hands on it, grab at the flesh with her fingers.

Are you looking?” Ned asks, and he doesn't look around yet.

Nah, course not.” Olive lies, and she lies on her side, on the right side of the bed, so he can slide in on the left.

Are- are you sure you want to- I mean, because-”

Ned, get that backside into this bed.” She feels the sheet raise, feels him slip into bed, and she feels him hesitate, trying not to press to much onto the little mattress. He can't even be right under the sheet. She reaches back for his hip and pulls him in, listening intently for the adorable little noise he lets out, until her back is pressed against his chest. “You okay? You feel cold.”

Mmm. M'okay. S'fine.” Ned mumbles as softly as he possibly can, and his words are warm and quiet against the back of her neck. She presses her feet back, and tickles his knees with them. “ Ah .” God, that cute little noise.

He feels so warm, and she just wants to rub right up to him – not just to tease, not just to express her desires , but because she's just a little bit cold.


Olive Snook is in her bra and panties, and she is pressed against his chest. She is very warm , but he is not used to physical contact. He barely ever touches anyone at all, never presses against anybody naked – hasn't done so in a very long time. And for good reason.

She's so small. So tiny . He could wrap his hands around her hips, and he could – but he shouldn't. And couldn't. And it would end badly. And his cock is actually starting to pay attention and he barely ever gets erections because he sort of stifles them, and he has to make a very conscious effort not to let out a soft squeak.

It's definitely bad what Ned wants to do to her. By which he means have sex with her. Have sex. With Olive. Oh, God.

You pokin' me, Ned?” She asks, and her question is light, teasing, and there's just the  slightest hint of something seductive, except Ned can't actually be sure about the last part because he doesn't get seduced very often.

Uh, no.” She slowly, ever so slowly, rolls her backside back against his crotch, and Ned lets out a soft mewl of sound. “Ah, ah, you really, ah, shouldn't do that, uh, no, you shouldn't-” She does it again, and he gasps despite himself.


Ned is hard. He's got his pretty pecker against her pert posterior, and Olive wants it. Oh, she wants it.

Ned- Ned, let's do it.” She says, and she grinds herself against him once more, and he lets out that noise again, stiffer than ever.

I- I-”

If you wanna, we can.” Olive whispers. “It'll be okay.”

I want- I want-” Ned peters off, but he's already let out a little noise, and his own hips roll against her backside. Yes. She pulls back, and then she begins to wriggle out of her briefs, and then she undoes her bra.

She pushes him to lie on his back, and then she straddles his thighs. His eyes appear to be somewhat glued to her breasts, and his hands twitch at his sides for a few moments, hesitant. He's always so hesitant about touching her, about touching anyone. She reaches for them, and then she lifts them up, laying his hands on her chest.

His hands are warm and his fingers are so long, very slender, and he hesitates for a second longer, his eyes wide, his mouth open. “Are you- can I...?” She's never been so eager to answer a question from the piemaker in her life.

Yes. ” She says, and he pushes a little, testing the weight of her breasts in his big ol' hands, and he plays over her nipples with his thumbs. His tongue darts out, flicking over his lip, and she leans down, pressing her mouth against his mouth, and his mouth is nice , warm with plump lips. He gasps, and then he kisses her more deeply, eagerly.

He kisses her like she's air and he's drowning, and it makes her heart beat harder than it ever has before in her chest.

Oh, Ned. ” She whispers, and he's so big under her – her thighs have to spread a little bit apart for her to straddle him, and she rubs herself down against him, naked against his boxers. “I need you. I want you. Let me take you out.” She whispers, and her hands move down, her thumbs hooking in the waistband of his underwear before pulling them down. “Oh my God. ” She says, and she stares at Ned's pretty pecker with wide eyes. “That's big.

I don't- I don't think it'll fit, Olive-” Ned's protests are soft, and then he bites his lip and Olive is so wet for this. Why hadn't they done this already?

Oh, honey. ” Olive says, and she wraps her fingers around it, feels it thick and heavy and she can't quite get her entire hand about its girth. “It definitely will.” Ned gasps, throwing his head back as he tries to thrust himself up into her hand, desperate for more. Her other hand slips lower, and she plays over his balls, and he mewls. Like a big, sexy kitten. “You don't have sex very often, huh?”

I don't even masturbate.” Ned says breathlessly, and his cheeks are so red, his chest is so red, and Olive wants him right now . “Please, Olive -” He sounds so plaintive just like this, so needy, and Olive drops his dick, reaching out to play over his nipples, pinching them just a little and making him whine.

She puts her hands either side of his head and pushes herself forwards, rubbing herself from the base of his cock to the head, and she's wet, wet and open, and she just needs him. Ned gasps and moans and closes his eyes as tightly as possible, bucking his hips up for more.

Olive grasps him again, holding him up straight before lining herself up. With that, she begins to descend, pressing herself down little by little, and it's a stretch , oh, yes, it is, but she's wet and ready and she wants it, God.

Ned squeaks and gasps and bucks , and it's when she's half way down, having taken four inches out of nine that she takes a little break.

I- are you sure it's gonna- you're so tight , Olive, Olive -” She thrusts herself the rest of the way down, and she lets out a choked whine because he's thick , and long , and he's shaking underneath her. His hands move up, onto her hips, and then very slowly his right hand moves to her stomach and presses, just slightly.

He lets out a little wheezing sound, flushing redder than ever.

You okay for me to move?” Olive asks after a pause, and Ned gives a tiny, nervous nod. His hands slide to up to her breasts again as she begins to move, thrusting herself up and down and rolling her hips carefully. She lets out quiet moans as he begins to play over her nipples again, and Ned's lips quiver.

She clenches around him as she lifts herself up, and Ned whines, and it's loud , and God, he's just so wonderfully sensitive. She could just eat him all up.

I'm gonna- Olive, God, I can't really hold myself back because I don't exactly have practice and I'm really sorry for that but-” All of this tumbles out of Ned's mouth choked and whimpered, every word more than a little stressed for the token of sheer effort.

Ned. Sweetie.” Ned looks up at her, swallowing hard, and she is enchanted by the sight of his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. “Go right ahead.” Ned cries out, head dropping back, and God, yeah , she can feel him pulse inside her, feel his dick move . She lets him ride him out, watches him gasp , and then she grins.

I wanna- ah, I want to-” Ned sort of gibbers in his post-orgasmic state, and then he lifts Olive with the grip he has on her hips, setting her down.

Oh, hey now, piemaker, I wan- ah -” Olive is cut off when his mouth presses against her clit, warm and wet and hot , and Ned begins to suck at the flesh there. His hands, his big wide hands, pressed on her thighs and keeping them spread as he just goes to town with his mouth. She wriggles underneath him, and Ned is actually really good at this, and when she comes it's with a drawn-out yowl.

She lies beneath him, panting where she lies, and he meekly wipes his mouth with the heel of his hand. “I- I really like doing that.” He says awkwardly, and he's about to say sorry before she grabs his hand, pulls him close and silences him with a firm kiss to his lips.

Don't you ever apologize for that. That was– well, it was great. You're a man of hidden talents, huh, Ned?” He swallows, looking as awkward as ever, and then he nods. The kneel across from each other for a few moments, both catching their breaths, and then Olive gives a little grin. “You wanna go again?”

Ned lets out a soft noise, and then he nods repeatedly.

Good, good. Now.” Olive strokes her hand down his chest, enjoying how broad it is and loving most of all how his eyes follow its movement. “You ever spanked a girl, Ned?” He shakes his head. “You wanna change that?”

Oh, God. ” Ned mumbles, and then he nods. “Yes. Yes, I would enjoy that. Muchly.”

Great. Scoot that boot to the edge of the bed then.” Ned does; Olive is delighted.

Ned is a delightful man, after all.