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I'll Find You

Summary:

It's been about a month since Exogal. Rey hasn't seen Ben since then, but she can feel him and she sees him in dreams. On top of that, her stomach has been giving off strange feelings of light and life, and she's more nauseous by the day. She’s determined to find answers to all her questions and figure out if she is what she thinks she is. And above all else, she needs to find out how to bring Ben home.

A Reylo fix-it fanfic taking place right after “The Rise of Skywalker”.

Updated note: After completing this fic, I found the song “Find You” by Ruelle and it fits this fic PERFECTLY! Check it out ❤️

(Cover art by Laura Martinez)

Chapter Text

 

 

The sand is hot against her calves; Jakku doesn’t feel the same today. It isn’t the home of a lost little girl. It’s the home of a woman who’s finding the man she loves because she refuses to believe that he’s gone.

Rey is sitting down with Ben facing her, smiling, just happy to be with her again. Any moment they get together is something to be treasured.

“Ben, we did this once before, and we can do it again now.” Her eyes burn with hope, and if there is one thing she believes in—now more than ever before—it’s that hope can make anything possible. “Come on, let’s try again,” she says. She smiles, her dimples apparent. He can’t help but smile too.

“Okay,” he says. He isn’t sure what is really going to happen, but one of the reasons Ben loves her so much is because her spirit is so fiery and passionate that she seems to get whatever it is done that she sets her mind to. She did turn him back to the light, after all.

He believes she can do anything.

He holds out his hand again, and the sight of it sends a familiar shock through Rey’s body. Although his hand is now tinted blue and is a little less defined, it reminds her of the day she truly fell in love with Ben. That day in the hut on Ahch-To. She didn’t think anyone understood her. In an entire galaxy, there had to be someone. But that someone was found in the unlikeliest person. Kylo Ren. Ben Solo. She had never known that they’d fall in love, but in that hut on that rainy, starry night, all she felt was the warmth of someone who truly understood her, cared for her, and longed for every part of her to be with him. Ben Solo was the one person in the galaxy who truly understood Rey.

His hand reaches out to her the same way it did that day, and she reaches back, even more eager than before. “Rey,” he breathes. Her smile brightens as she reaches out to touch him. His fingers look so tangible, as if he were in that very room with her. She places her palm against his, but when she does, her whole body jolts. She flies backwards and wakes up with a start.

She’s panting sharply and is sticky with sweat. Everything is hazy and it takes a few moments for Rey to focus on her surroundings and get her head around what’s going on.

She’s alone. She isn’t with Ben on Jakku. She’s alone on Tatooine. The dread of reality sinks in, and as it does, Rey slowly curls up into herself, sobbing into the dark sand in the small hut she’s been using for shelter. The blanket she’s been using as a bed shifted in the night and is now tangled in a sandy heap a few feet away.

The dream was so real, she thought, it can’t possibly be just a dream. It can’t be. It was so real. It was a vision. I felt Ben. I did.

“I did,” she whispers, crying into her sleeve. Ben’s sleeve, really. Ever since the night he disappeared, she’s been using his tunic as a night shirt. She can still smell him as she drifts to sleep each night. She hopes his scent can stay on her skin forever.

It’s been about a month since she lost Ben. Life has been a fog. Eat, breathe, sleep. Talk when someone talks to you. Keep moving…

She can’t fall back asleep, so she dries her face, picks up her staff and bag, and heads outside. Maybe I can get a head start on some breakfast.

As she walks, she feels as though her spirit isn’t in her body. It’s as if she’s watching herself from the outside and hasn’t been whole since Ben left. “He didn’t die, “ she says to herself as she trudges up a dune, “I can’t accept it. I mean, I can still feel him. He isn’t dead, is he? He can’t be. I feel him.” Tears spill down her cheeks. Crying and the sharp pains in her chest and stomach are the only physical signs that she is still alive. Other than that, she’s completely numb and encased in a thick, muddy, soundless void. She functions as best she can, but the only thing that is keeping her moving is the fact that she can feel Ben still. Everything logically points to him being dead—he used the last of his life force to breathe life into her, and then he disappeared. Logically, Rey would think Ben became one with the Force, as Luke and Leia had, but she doesn’t buy that.

“It isn’t denial if you know it isn’t true, right, BB-8?” Rey asks, the same sharp pain sinking into her belly. BB-8 beeps happy beeps and she smiles. “That’s right. I know he isn’t gone. I can feel him. He never left me…” her voice trails off. If he never left her, where did he go? Why can’t she see him? Why hasn’t he visited her? It’s because he isn’t one with the Force, right? Where is he? This doesn’t make sense. She saw Luke and Leia a few days ago…where was Ben?

“Ben isn’t gone,” she says quietly, mostly to herself, “he’s just…somewhere else.”

Hours go by and Rey doesn’t see any signs of wildlife, which is usually where she can find her meals. For a while, she forgot that she needed to eat, but now her stomach is rumbling and nausea is building up inside her. She needs to hurry and find food before she gets sick.

She turns towards a new direction and quickens her pace. The suns are blazing and burning into her skin. She can’t remember if she’s cried recently. Everything is numb, and her face is so dry from the heat that she wouldn’t know if she had cried or not if she tried. I don’t know what to do, she thinks. Where do I go from here?

“What’s on your mind?” a voice beside her asks. Her heart leaps for a split second, and her reflex is to search for him. But she doesn’t. She’s frozen in time. Her life stopped the moment his body slid away from hers and disappeared.

“Rey?” the voice insists. Her stomach squeezes. When’s the last time she ate?

She still doesn’t look to see who it is. It’s not Ben. That’s all she really cares about.

Rey!” the voice demands. She turns around quickly.

“Master Skywalker?” she asks. No one’s there.

“Rey!” the voice calls out again, not as loud this time. She turns around again. No one.

Beads of sweat swim down her hairline. Frustrated, she rubs her head with the back of her hand and continues looking around, breathing heavily as the world starts to spin.

No one’s there. No one says her name. It’s no one.

BB-8 beeps up at the young jedi.

“Yes, you’re right,” she replies, “I probably just need something to eat.”

Rey continues on the path she was starting towards before, deep through the desert of this foreign planet. Something about being in a desert was comforting to her, despite being out of familiar territory. Tatooine wasn’t all that different from Jakku. Still, was the sun always this hot? 

She starts coughing. Only a few coughs at first, but then they get more frequent and with more force. She’s making her way up a large dune when her head starts to spin out of control and the coughs become unbearable. What is going on? 

Suddenly, she topples over and begins heaving. Vomit spills from her lips and her head is soaked from sweat. Her head throbs and her stomach is sour. With hands clutched against the hot sand, Rey holds on through the pain now coursing through her body as best she can before it passes as quickly as it came.

After a few moments, she coughs and sits up, holding the back of her hand to her face. The nausea is still there, but she’s in a much better place now. She looks up at the blazing suns in the sky. I’m not sure how long it‘s been since I started my trek, she thought, but surely it hasn’t been long enough for me to get heat stroke or anything like this. 

She gets to her feet and finds a water jug from her bag. After a few swigs she screws the top back on and plops the bottle back inside before slinging her pack around her shoulder. 

It’s so odd. I used to always walk in the sun. I grew up in a world much like this, and I’ve never gotten sick. Other than that one time when I was a kid...

Shthought back to when she was about nine years old and was working for a woman who owned a market in Jakku. She hadn’t been away from her parents for very long at that point and wasn’t used to caring for herself. It was easy to accidentally stay in the sun too long without the proper precautions. She nearly died that night. She was feverish and I’m so much pain, thirsty to the bone and too dizzy to do anything but lie in a sweaty heap inside the shop owner’s hut. After that, Rey learned to adapt even faster. She found light cloths to wrap around herself. Mismatched rags at first, but eventually better, sturdier fabric that kept the sun from her skin without being too hot and sticky. 

Rey’s stomach burns. She places a hand along her navel and looks down at her stomach. The space between her eyebrows creases. “Is…am I…no…it can’t be…”

BB-8 whistles in confusion, but Rey still studies her stomach. Something is inside of me. I can feel it. A source of light…

Her heart flutters. Ben’s face flashes across her mind. “Ben,” she whispers. She closes her eyes and sees him there. He’s coming to her. She’s lifeless in Exogal. He’s placing a hand over her stomach. Life is pulsing into her from him. Her soul sucks up his, but their souls are of one fabric that they will both always share. They are threaded together and cannot be removed from one another. Just because a little more fabric is in Rey doesn’t make his threads disappear. If his threads were gone, the fabric would collapse and Rey would disintegrate from existence entirely.

Rey’s eyes shoot open. Ben is still out there. Somewhere.

“BB-8,” Rey says excitedly, “I know now for certain—Ben is out there. I can feel it. Our souls cannot be disconnected. They can’t be severed because they are woven together. If I’m alive, he’s alive. I just—I just need to find where he is…I need answers.” BB-8 beeps up at her, but she just looks off into the horizon.

Where can I go for answers?

She runs back to the hut. BB-8 whistles, reminding her to eat. “No now, BB-8! I have to find where I can see Ben. I have to find out where he is. I have to save him!” Rey runs faster and faster, and her breathing gets sharper and shallower. By the time she sees the hut, there are two. There are two huts, four suns, and two BB-8s. She’s seeing double. Her eyes get glazy and her body turns cold. Her stomach is sour and her palms are wet. She gives one last sharp breath before keeling over and passing out into the sand.

Chapter Text

 

Ben’s hand is outstretched. She can’t help but take it. He’s given her his hand so many times before, but he wasn’t ready for her to take it, no matter how much she wanted to. He just wasn't there yet--he wasn't pulled enough into the light. Ben needed to figure it out on his own before Rey could give him her all. Now, he’s here in a grassy field on a planet Rey doesn’t recognize, and she’s taking his hand and twirling into him. His smile is infectious, and she can’t help but light up with a smile herself as he spins her into him and she presses into his chest. They fit together so perfectly, as if their bodies were made for each other. Maybe every dyad in the force is like this. One soul split in two bodies has to come with bodies that fit together precisely. 

He spins her out and they dance in the field, slowly and longingly. Their eyes never leave each other’s, and her hands are warm in his. Her heart thumps faster and faster the longer she looks deep into his eyes. Those eyes that melted into hers when he brought her back to life. From that moment on, they knew: they were always the only ones, in the entire galaxy and beyond, for each other. They could never be separated. Time, space, not even death could separate them from each other. It wasn’t possible. They were one. They would always be one. They would always belong to each other. They were a force to be reckoned with that could never be sundered.

They were in love.

Deeply, ardently, irrevocably in love.

Ben smiles down at Rey, tears building in the corners of his eyes. Hers do the same thing. “You know I cry when you cry,” she laughs shakily, choking back the tears.

He laughs softly back, with such pure joy radiating from his face. Rey‘s happy that she was able to see him smile like this in her lifetime. She hopes she’ll always be alive to see it.

Alive.

The pain crushes her chest and the world shrouds in darkness. Ben’s smile fades and he whips around to see what’s going on, his long hair following at the nape of his neck. It makes Rey’s heart skip, despite the confusion and fear that is clogged in her throat. Black clouds are swirling in the sky behind him, spreading and bleeding into the entire sky above. It shadows the once iridescent grass and darkens the entire world. Lightning bolts splinter the blackness, cracking and crumbling everything around them. 

The ground begins to shake.

“Ben!” Rey shrieks. He turns back around and starts racing over to her. He was so close to her. How did he get so far away? He’s running and running, and she’s running towards him too. But they can’t reach each other. The air gets constructed and her lungs are tight. 

“Rey!” Ben shouts, his face both desperate and determined. 

He falls into the blackness below and Rey cries out, “Ben!”

Her eyes shoot open. She’s by a fire. It’s dark all around her. She’s still on Tatooine.

Of course, it was just another dream. A tear trickles down her face, joining the wetness that had already puddled along her cheeks. She’s been crying. 

Rey sighs, frowning and shuddering. She lets her face fall into her hands. Every morning is like this. Every morning she dreams of Ben and wakes up in tears.

She isn’t surprised anymore when she wakes up from this alternate life, but part of her always feels like it’s too real not to be true. Ben’s smile in that field settles into her mind. She’d give anything to take his hand now. 

When Rey finally sits back up, sniffing and wiping her face, she realizes that things are off. She’s not in Luke’s old hut. It’s not even morning. What’s going on? 

She rolls over and notices a blanket tangled around her legs—a blanket she’s never seen before. A fire crackles nearby and she can smell fresh food cooking in the heat. The air is brisk, and out one window Rey sees the millions of stars speckling the night sky. It isn’t even morning yet.

“Where am I?” she mutters, looking around the foreign hut. The room is small, but spacious; she notices that the ceilings are low and the room itself is small, but there’s nothing really in it. There’s a stone table and a couple of stools by one wall, a door leading to the outdoors on the opposite wall, and in between the two is a tiny room that Rey guesses is used for sleeping or entertaining guests. It holds two folded blankets and a basket. On the wall on that side of the hut is a rounded doorway leading to a second part of the home. A beep sounds from down the hallway.

She gasps and gets to her feet, “BB-8!” she shouts, “Where are you?” She grabs hold of her lightsaber and turns it on. Whistling and a cluster of beeps sound closer to her until she sees her familiar droid companion rolling over to her from the rounded doorway. Behind it is an old man Rey has never seen before. “Who are you?”

“Is that the thanks I get for putting you up and saving you from the beasts around here?” the man asks, huffing. He’s a small man with wisps of white hair and a soft white beard clinging to his cheeks and chin. His skin looks like worn out leather, aging his face further. He looks up at Rey with tired eyes and a raised brow. Ashamed, she turns off her lightsaber and tucks it into her belt. “Now,” he said, “Why were you passed out in the middle of nowhere?”

BB-8 let out a frenzy of beeps. Rey straightens its antenna and gives BB-8 an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, BB-8. I didn’t mean to concern you.” Sighing, she continues, “I actually don’t know what happened. I’ve been feeling quite sick. My stomach…even now it’s burning up inside. It’s been feeling odd, and my body just…I don’t know. It just didn’t cooperate yesterday. I think it was from all the heat…” she trails off, touching her tummy. That same sour feeling from the day before is plaguing her from the pit of her stomach.

“You’re not feeling well now?” the man asks gruffly. He’s chewing something unidentifiable. It’s mashed around his lips and pieces of whatever it is fall out of his mouth as he talks. Nodding quickly, Rey takes a few steps back and then hurriedly runs out of the hut. Bile from her stomach starts shooting up like a fountain. She barely makes it outside before vomiting all over the place. Pain throbs through her head, and her stomach doesn’t stop burning, even after she’s done throwing up.

Rey straightens herself up and gets ready to go back inside, but when she does, she feels like she’s going to faint. She staggers to a nearby rock and sits down. The world around her spins. She lowers her head and sinks her palms into her face. “What is going on with me?” she asks herself.

The cool night air feels good on her face. She closes her eyes and tries to gain some control over herself, but the pain of everything over the last month is just too much. Flashes of the scene from just a few weeks ago strikes her mind. Ben's pain. Him falling and disappearing. She waited so long for him to be at her side, and then the moment he was, he was gone. She never loved anyone like that before. She was so alone. No one understood her.

But Ben did. From the moment they started connecting when she was back on Ahch-To, she knew she found someone she could confide in. More than that, though, she was falling in love with the very last person she knew she should fall in love with. She knew him better than anyone else did, though, and she knew he had so much light left inside of him. He was just betrayed so much in his life. He needed someone to believe in him. He needed someone to help him see that it wasn’t too late.

He grew. He grew into the man she knew he could be. But now he’s gone, and she’s left alone.

“What’s wrong, kid?” she hears from behind her. The same voice as yesterday before she passed out. She didn’t pay much attention then, but she is now. Turning around, she sees the voice of someone she never gets tired of seeing.

“Master Skywalker!” she says, relieved. His spirit glows close by, and he looks just as he did the last time he visited her before she traveled to Exegol. He smiles until he sees her reddened eyes and the dried tears underneath. He walks over to her and sits beside her.

He looks into her eyes like a gentle father and asks, “Rey, can you tell me why I’m here?”

The corners of her mouth turn down. She knows she can’t hide the truth from him. “I’m scared,” she says quietly, “and I miss him.” Her eyes meet Luke’s for a split second before she stares off into the night, her mind fixed on the scenes she can never get out of her mind. “I see it all,” she whispers, haunted, “I can’t stop seeing it. I can’t stop…” feeling him on my lips, she wants to say. But she won’t. Those words are only for her. That memory is hers. And Ben’s. “…and I hear him sometimes,” she says, eyes trailing off into the sand, “I swear I do.”

Luke places a hand on Rey’s shoulder, which makes her jump. She didn’t know she’d be able to feel him. She’s about to ask him about this when he says, “It’s strange. I can sense something in you. Another force of light. It feels like Ben's.”

Her heart twists into her stomach. “What do you mean?” she eyes him warily. Then suddenly, she perks up and asks, “Does that mean Ben is still with me?”

Luke shakes his head. “Well, yes and no. Ben is always with you. You share a soul. He will never really be gone from you, but…this is different.” Rey isn’t sure what she wants answers to first—Ben or this mysterious light inside her. 

Ben. It will always be Ben. “Where is he? Where’s Ben?”

Luke shakes his head again. “Look, I don’t have all the answers, kid. All I know is you have more than Ben Solo in you now.” 

Rey’s brows furrow. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying you need to figure out what’s going on inside you.” 

Rey’s stomach hardens. She swallows. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Luke sighs. “Look, I needed to come here to help you on your Jedi path. I don’t know what that entails. What I do know, though, is that we’re dealing with some uncharted territory.” He looks at her as if he’s expecting her to take down mental notes, and then continues, “Find a woman named Calyn. She's on a planet called Taru. I think she can help you figure out what’s going on. I’ve never felt anything like this before. Then again, I’ve never dealt with dyads before either.”

“Master Skywalker,” Rey says, going back to her main concern, “members of a Force dyad cannot be separated, right? I hear Ben. I know he’s out there. These dreams I have...they’re real. Too real to not be true. I have to find him. I know he’s out there.” 

Luke doesn’t say a word. The two of them sit in silence with nothing but the distant crackling fire making noise against the night air. He sighs again. “I have to go. Just find Calyn. She can help you.”

“Master Skywalker, there’s something you’re not telling me! I can feel it.”

“Rey, I’m bound through the Force! I can’t tell you everything. You have to find out some things for yourself.” His voice is harsh and Rey bites back her lip and tries not to look too wounded. She can’t help it, though. This is the last thing she needs right now. “I’m sorry,” Luke says, softer. “Just know that everything will be okay and that you can trust your feelings. Follow them, and may the Force be with you. Always.”

With that, he disappears. Rey is left alone. She wants to cry, but there are no tears left. What does she do now? 

She looks down at her hands and studies the lines on her palms. Ben’s hand in hers materializes. She knows it’s just a dream —a memory—but she indulges and takes the bait. She needs to see him. She holds his hand in hers and presses it against her face. 

She must have fallen asleep because when she opens her eyes, there he is. His face bright, his eyes the same deep brown, and his full lips smiling. He‘s wearing Jedi robes, and his hair falls softly along his neck and beneath his chin, as it always has. He looks mesmerizing. 

“Rey,” he says, his hand sliding up to cup her cheek. His fingers bury into her hair as he puts his forehead against hers. He smells so familiar. Sweet but musky, with a hint of something evergreen.

A lump forms in her throat, and she swallows it down before whispering to him. “It shouldn’t be like this, Ben. You saved me. You should be alive. Why did you save me? Why didn’t you stay alive? It should have been me who died. Not you.”

He holds her fingers in his hands and kisses them. “You saved me, Rey.” His eyes open and look at her with the same softness he did when they silently communicated on Exogal. When she gave him her saber right in front of Palpatine. “It was only natural for me to do the same for you.” 

Rey can’t hold back the tears now. Gone is the numbness and the cruel reality of her new life. Here she can sob as loud and as hard as she wants without a second thought, so she lets herself sob. She pulls his shirt into her and buries her face in his chest. He wraps his arms around her tightly and buries his face into the crook of her neck. He will keep her safe. This is their world. They are one soul, one world. Forever. No matter what happens, they will always be one.

She moves, and he backs his head away to look at her, their bodies still pressed together. He moves one hand up her face.

“Ben,” she whispers with bloodshot eyes, “I love you.” 

He traces her trembling bottom lip with his thumb before leaning down to kiss her. Just before his lips touch hers he whispers, “I love you too.” His lips land perfectly on hers and she tastes him the way she tasted him on Exogal. His hands find the back of her head, and her arms grip his back. They let themselves go. They clutch each other like holding on will keep them together and like they’ve never wanted anything more than to melt into the other person. She pushes against him, wishing with all her might that this moment will never end.

Kissing Ben is like tasting the stars. She can feel the bright, ethereal rays of every part of him with every movement of his lips. He sucks on her bottom lip before pulling back. Her heart is racing. They smile at each other and hold each other’s faces. Their foreheads touch. Everything is warm. Everything will be all right.

“Remember,” she hears as her eyes flutter open and she finds that Ben is gone, “No one is ever really gone. No one.”

“Ben,” she whispers, clutching the cloth of his tunic she’s wearing, “Don’t worry. I’ll find you.”

A tear rolls its way down her cheek. Her voice is barely audible, but it’s filled with the same fiery passion she always radiated when thinking of Ben. 

“I’ll find you.”

Chapter Text

When she gets back into the hut, Rey can’t stop shaking. That was so real, she thinks. There’s no way Ben’s dead. He can’t be. But what was Luke talking about? A light force inside me that feels like Ben…How could Ben be both with me and not with me, and have two different parts of himself inside me? She ducks into the room where BB-8 is still sitting with the old man. The droid is looking up at the man and an elderly woman who has now come in and sat down beside him. She has a tattered shawl around her hunched shoulders, and her hair is a dirty gray, a stark contrast to the man’s bright white. Luckily, he’s done eating and is wiping his mouth and hands on a cloth napkin.

The woman smiles, wrinkles cracking around her mouth. “My husband tells me you’re feeling ill,” she says. Rey nods and sits back down on the makeshift bed the couple had prepared for her when she passed out in the desert earlier.

“Yeah, I-I don’t know what’s come over me,” she says, covering her stomach, “I’ve lived in a desert my entire life. I don’t know why the suns here are affecting me so much.”

The woman’s tired smile remains as she slowly gets to her feet and wobbles over to Rey with the help of a crooked cane, her gnarled fingers clasping its head. Rey gets up to help the woman walk over to wherever she wants to be, but the woman waves her off. “I’m all right, dear,” she says, “Can you sit over here with me?” She gestures over to the steps leading to their front doorway. She nods and does as she’s told.

“I’m Zara,” the woman says, her voice shaky and coarse.

“Rey,” she replies with a smile, her dimples etching into her cheeks. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

Zara nods slightly and studies Rey’s face. A soft smile is still engraved upon her face, and Rey’s starting to think that’s just the way the woman holds herself. It stays there as Zara says, “You’re very pale, my dear.”

“Yeah, the heat, it…it’s been giving me problems.” She smiles nervously and continues before she has to talk anymore about herself. Tonight has already been too emotional. I just want to be on my way to Taru.

After a long pause, Zara looks directly into Rey’s eyes and says, “It’s not the heat.” She looks fixedly at Rey with knowing eyes, as if she’s ready to tell her that she has a surprise party waiting for her in the next room. Rey’s face pulls together in confusion, her brows almost touching.

“What do you mean?” she asks, “I don’t understand.”

The woman finally makes it to the step and sits down next to Rey, who helps her steady herself onto the small stony platform. She looks directly into Rey’s eyes, and the pallor of the old woman’s eyes seem so striking to Rey. They’re so pale that they’re almost white and look to be made of some rare type of crystal. Although they’re small and sunken into the leathery face of the woman they belong to, they look gentle and wise. Beautiful. Rey has never seen someone so weathered yet so content.

Zara smiles. “I’m an empath,” she explains, looking down at her wrinkled hands, “I can both feel what others feel and help them be at ease.” She looks back at Rey and studies her face as she continues, “I have been around a long time. I have seen many things. Felt many things…You can say that I know a thing or two.” She gives Rey a wink before closing her eyes. Her smile curls up, creasing like dirt in a desert. “I can feel it in you. I could feel it when you first came in through that door, and when my husband said you were sick, and that you had fallen in the desert and looked lost…I knew I had to be the one to tell you.”

Rey’s already tumultuous stomach churns. “Tell me what?”

The woman’s eyes open, and for a moment, she looks like a grandmother Rey never knew. Someone she could have told her secrets to and been held by when things got frightening. Someone to help her through life and to understand herself. For a moment, she feels safe.

She knows she can trust this woman.

Zara adjusts herself to look more directly at Rey. With a quiet, joyful serenity she says, “You’re carrying a child.”

Something deep within Rey lets out a thunderous thump, and her ears start to ring. “What?” she asks, heat rising up her body and into her chest. A rush of emotions, thoughts, and questions pummel her in every direction in one big crashing wave. She doesn’t know what to do or think; all she can do is hold on and wait for the crashing wave to finish barreling over her entire system.

“I can see that you’re quite shocked…” Zara begins to say but is interrupted by Rey, who isn’t listening anymore, caught in her own whirlwind.

“That’s…it’s impossible…” Rey says absently, but as she says it, she begins realizing how very possible it actually is. Ben’s hand on Exogal flashes through her mind, and she can feel his warmth on her belly. She gasps and tears burn her eyes. What was that? She thinks, her chin tremoring. “I don’t remember that. What was that? A memory?” Her eyes are wet, but the tears are stuck in her eyes. She can’t swallow. She can’t breathe. She doesn’t even realize that she’s thinking out loud. “I just remember feeling his hand on me and holding onto it as I looked up at him. I don’t…this feeling…” her voice trails off into a whisper.

Rey’s mind flashes with unseen memories. A dark, rocky gulf. Flashes of light. Ben holding her against his chest in Exogal when she wasn’t even alive…

Her whole body is shaking, and her hands make their way to her scalp. Her brain is on a rampage. A fire. A flash. A familiar feeling and a lightning bolt down her back.

It’s as if things are being unlocked that she never knew about. Memories of her that weren’t hers. Things only Ben would know. Things about…

Her hands clasp her stomach, and the pressure is familiar. Then the queasiness returns. She slaps a hand to her mouth. A strange sensation of both the creeping feeling of almost throwing up and crying uncontrollably simultaneously rises to her lips.

Stranger things have happened.

“I have to go,” Rey says, shooting straight up but then immediately getting woozy. Without warning, she bends over and heaves. The man in the corner winces, which is met by his wife sending him a scolding look as she pats Rey softly on the back.

“Now, you should just sit down and—”

“No!” Rey says, wiping her chin and standing upright. “I can’t. I’m sorry. Thank you so much for your hospitality, but I really must be going.” She shifts her weight to her other foot and quietly says, “I honestly couldn’t rest right now if I wanted to.”

“I know it seems impossible right now, but—”

“I really can’t!” Rey shrieks, which surprises BB-8, and even herself. Her bottom lip quivers.

“You really should rest,” the woman repeats, holding out a shaking hand as if taming a small beast. “Please.” She fixes her gaze on Rey, who tries to avoid the woman’s gaze but can’t resist. She stares back into Zara’s pale, knowing eyes, mesmerized. “Rest, eat, and then you can go wherever you need to in the morning.”

The tidal wave Rey hadn’t escaped from starts to calm down and reach an acceptable level. It’s not until she regains this slight level of composure that she realizes how exhausted she is. She nods and says, “All right.” She doesn’t stop to see the woman’s reaction to this. All she wants to do is lay down, sleep, and pretend none of this was happening. She can’t process this. Everything that has happened over the last month has been harder than anything else she’s ever had to go through. And she’d been left to survive on her own as a child. She would trade this for that in a heartbeat.

Rey pushes away any and all thoughts from her mind and just thinks of the sun on Jakku and how it looks so different from the suns on Tatooine, but still the same. How is it that every planet is so similar and yet so different, she thinks dreamily.

Today was more than she bargained for, but tomorrow’s a new day. She can figure out what to do tomorrow.

And with that, she’s fast asleep.

 

Rey slept in surprisingly long the next morning but didn’t stick around. She politely took a basket of bread from the old woman and thanked the couple for everything they’d done for her.

“You’ll be a wonderful mother,” Zara says as she cups Rey’s hands in hers, “I can feel it.”

Mother. Rey’s stomach twists at the word. She nods, “Thank you. I’ll do my best.” As she says the words, she fights back tears, forcing them as far away from her eyes as possible.

She gives the woman a hug and waves to the man before turning around and leaving with BB-8.

She only has to stop to throw up twice on her way to the Falcon.

 

The familiar hum of the Falcon is surprisingly calming to her queasy stomach, and now that things are steady in space, she can sit back and think of what to do next. The image of a little baby boy enters her mind. It makes her jump and clutch the arms of her chair in the cockpit.

A baby boy. He looked like Ben…

Tears were brimming along her eyelids. The thought she most ardently tries to escape keeps coming back, and with it, the realization that scares her the most creeps even closer…

The realization that she wanted this baby more than anything.

But she felt too guilty and too scared to justify the desire.

Is this good? She thinks to herself as she studies the freckles of stars suspended around her. The ship isn’t moving, but it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t even know how to get to Taru yet. She has to find a way, but…

A baby.

Rey doesn’t know what to think anymore. The image of that little baby boy keeps popping up in her mind, and each time an overwhelming sense of love and protection fills her body. She’s been numb for so long. But now, with the image of that little baby boy, the shell of numbness that’s been encased around her for weeks is starting to crack, and life is breaking through and making its way back into Rey’s spirit and body, spreading through her every limb and every inch of her being. Light pierces her in places she forgot existed. Ben had to be alive. How else could such a life be inside her?

The memory that wasn’t hers plays back in her mind. A memory she must be somehow borrowing from Ben. His hand is pushing into her womb, and his life is transferring into her. A little spark from his soul breaks off and falls into her womb.

Did she imagine that? Or did that really happen? Did a part of Ben create life inside of her? Did he put a baby in her?

Her heart skips.

“He must have planted a part of himself inside me when he gave me his soul…” her heart burns and flutters, and she looks over at BB-8, who is bumping along in the Falcon next to her—her trusty co-pilot. The droid must have done something with the ship, or maybe she did, because they’re moving. The falcon is moving. She doesn’t know who did what, but they’re moving. That’s all Rey knows, but she doesn’t even care.

She’s still too stunned to even smile or fully process everything. “When he revived me, he gave me part of his soul—part of his life…he…” she places a hand on her belly, and when she does, a shock ripples up to her face and she begins to cry. The rush that began at the news of her pregnancy crashed down at full force. Now that she has finally come to terms with it and things are coming together, the dam that held her tears at bay on Tatooine has now finally burst open.

She cries with vigor matching the intense emotional torrents that are storming inside her, choking on her own sobs, her hand covering her mouth. Tears stream between her fingers, and before long, she let her face sink into her hands. Her whole body shakes, and racous sobs boom from her in ways she’s never even felt before. Her nails dig into her arms as she wraps herself in her own embrace. Her cries get even louder before they get softer, and her throat is sore by the time she starts calming down. At first, the crying gets a little less intense, and then more even, and then settle into a quiet whimper.

She wipes her nose on the back of her hand and takes a deep breath.

What does all this mean? she thinks to herself, sitting back in her seat, her head limp against the cold metal of the chair. I want this baby. And I’m scared, and I’m excited, but most of all…tears spill from her again as she finishes her thought aloud, “I miss Ben.”

Her shoulders shake and she lets out audible sobs once more, shedding all of the pain from inside her, dropping it out of her system without inhibition. She rids herself of all the sorrows that have curled up inside the depths of her soul and crawled out when she needed them least.

She wants to molt. She wants to leave that pain as an old skin behind her.

I want to be free,” she says to herself as her crying weans once more. “But I can’t…” she looks over at BB-8. “Everywhere I go, I see him. Everywhere I turn, there he is.” Her breaths quicken, and she can feel how red her eyes are—a sensation she never knew was possible.

“I just want to be free…but I can’t be free without…”

Ben.

Without him, she will never be free. Every voice she hears, every smile she sees, every heartache she feels. It will all be him. He’ll be in the lakes she flies over on Naboo. He’ll be in the dunes on Jakku and Tatooine. He’ll be in the stars every time she looks up or travels between worlds. He’ll always be with her, but too far to reach.

Now she’s pregnant with his child, and she feels more alone than ever.

He feels so far out of her reach, but so close that she will never rest until everything comes together.

“He’s alive, and our baby is inside of me,” she says, her hands balling up into fists on her lap. “Enough of this.” Her fiery spirit bubbles up and spits out as she clutches a lever to send her into a promising direction, the Force and her own intuition as her guide.

“Enough of this,” she repeats, rolling her shoulders back and shifting her passion into determination. She looks over at BB-8 and feels something almost forgotten stretch across her face.

A smile.

She nods to the droid, who whistles at her with glee, and then looks straight forward and pushes the lever with force. “I’m coming for you, Ben. I’m bringing you home.”

That’s my girl.

Chapter Text

What is this? What is going on?

He’s suspended in a pool of darkness, accompanied by nothing more than the large droplets of light that are sprinkled everywhere, surrounding him in every direction. He looks to the right, and then to the left. His head starts to spin. The dots blur together, and everything shifts. He’s floating. He’s in a black, space-like sea of stars, and he isn’t touching the ground. He isn’t touching anything, because there is nothing out here. Just him, and the stars.

What is this place? Where am I?

His stomach pulls down in that uncanny sensation of falling that turns everything sour, and for a moment, he’s worried that this is truly the end—that he’s falling into the underworld, or something like it. He squints his eyes and kicks his legs until he feels himself thudding onto a hard, translucent floor in the middle of the void he now finds himself in. His brows furrow and he looks at the ground below. There is no ground. He’s looking at more stars in a blanket of black. But, for some reason, he is now separated from the space below by an invisible barrier, which, to his relief, is keeping him from descending any further. He knocks at the mysterious barricade and can feel something there, but noise doesn’t reverberate from it.

“Huh,” he says, his deep voice echoing into the void around him. He looks around and slowly pushes himself up by his arms, his palms pressed against the invisible floor. “Well, I can speak…but…” he looks forward, “Where am I?”

He gets to his feet and focuses on what’s around him. “Stars. Just stars,” he says, sighing and continuing to study the field of bright, incandescent beams. After another moment, something catches his eye, and he halts. There’s something out there. Something big and bright but too blurry to make out. It’s not a star.

He starts walking towards the light, each step a soundless foot print against the sky. He continues walking, but after a while, his forehead creases and he realizes that the light’s not getting any bigger. He’s not getting any closer. Focusing on the distant beam, he picks up his pace. Faster. Faster. Faster. He starts running.

He’s almost breathless with the effort, but it gets him nowhere. The mysterious, diamond-shaped speck in the distance hasn’t budged.

He can’t get there. He can’t get anywhere. He’s stuck in this place of nothing—in this “nowhere” space in time.

It doesn’t look like he’s moved at all. The ocean of dark, the speckles of stars…it’s all the same.

His black hair drapes down his face before he falls to his knees onto the imperceptible floor. His heart is racing from running, and he’s so weak. Far weaker than he’s used to. He lies down on his back, and his hands make their way to his face. Sorrow, fear, and confusion scratch into him from the inside out, bleeding into his shriveled stomach. He turns to his side, his hands still burying his face, and curls within himself, feebly trying to stop the trembling. His body won’t stop shaking, yet no tears or sounds escape him. It’s as if he’s being strangled by an invisible being that’s trying to stifle him into nothingness. He curls further within himself, and then everything grows cold, and his body goes still.

Rey’s face flashes across his mind. He opens his eyes and pulls his hands from his face. He thinks back, remembering every single detail of that moment when she smiled. The last thing he can remember is that sweet, dimpled smile, her whispering, his hand on her stomach, the way her hand cradled his face after he thought all was lost, and the touch of her lips on his. That kiss breathed a new life into him.

In that moment, he was fully reborn as Ben Solo. He will never be Kylo Ren again.

But if Kylo Ren is dead, where does that leave him?

There were so many questions. So many unknown answers lightyears from his reach. Despite everything, though, Ben smiles, and he thinks of her. Rey…

Tears drift down his eyes and nose, blurring together as he remains lying on his side, the salty trails falling sideways across his face. That smile I…she’s never smiled like that. I’d never seen something so beautiful. The last thing before I... He shakes his head, swallowing the lump in his throat. Tears burn in his eyes and his chin starts to shake. Soft cries escape his mouth. “Rey,” he whimpers. “Rey.”

He cries, letting himself drain the pain from inside into the pit of darkness below. He sobs harder and harder, never once letting the image of her face leave his mind’s eye.

His soul turns to her, as if he’s calling her name through something inside him, throughout all of space and time. When he opens his eyes, the shock that flows through him is profound. His eyes grow wide. He can’t believe what he’s seeing.

“Rey,” he says, more as a question than a statement. His jaw drops, his mouth now gaping open. The space in front of him somehow peeled back, as though a tear was created in this mysterious realm he’s lost in, and revealed Rey, trudging along the dunes of Tatooine. He’s looking into a screen of some sort, and it’s showing him the one thing his soul ached to see.

“Rey!” he says more urgently, quickly getting to his feet, his eyes desperately glued to her. “REY!” he shouts, running towards her. “Rey! It’s me!” He shouts as loudly as he can. “Rey! It’s Ben!” He runs faster, harder. Everything is urgent. Everything is fierce.

Then he stops. The realization stuns him, flooding him with a sick feeling from the pit of his stomach. It’s like the diamond-shaped star he couldn’t reach.

It’s no use. She can’t hear him.

“Rey,” he says one more time, his soul so powerfully yearning for her. Her name echoes against the stars.

She turns around.

She’s looking right at him, her eyes narrowed and her hand pulling at the white material tied around her stomach. Ben’s heart rises, and a smile stretches along his face.

Then she looks beside him and then she turns back around and keeps moving, BB-8 rolling alongside her.

Ben’s shoulders drop slightly, but he focuses on her. He walks slowly towards Rey, following her every move. As she walks in this strange seeing glass, he’s walking in this nothingness that now holds two things: himself and the vision of her.

But then that begins to fade.

Ben jolts. “No! NO NO NO!” He leaps towards the tear, his hand outstretched and calling for Rey. His body shakes violently, and he drops to his knees, his hands caught in his hair, holding onto his throbbing head. He cries for a long time. He cries for himself. He cries for Rey. He cries for everything he’s ever lost and everything he’s ever done. And then he cries for nothing at all.

He screams and he hits and he slams his hands against the floor. He yells at the sky and the stars. And he sobs. He has no idea what’s going on and whether or not he’ll be in this in-between galaxy for eternity.

After an indiscernible amount of time, Ben slows down and finally catches his breath. When he wipes his face and looks up, to his surprise, Rey is still there. Only now there isn’t just one visionary screen. There are many. Hundreds. They’re stretched out before him for as far as he can see. He walks into them and finds himself surrounded by her. The visions turn and then spin around him. He tries to follow one, but he is spinning in the opposite direction. He jumps around and runs after it, and to his relief, it stops in front of him. All the other visions fade away, and he is left watching the love of his life—the person who holds the very fabric of his soul—weeping. Sobbing uncontrollably, alone in the desert, wearing his shirt. The shirt that he died in—or, disappeared in at least. Ben doesn’t know what’s happening to him, but there’s one thing he does know: he isn’t dead. His body is just as human now as it always has been—if not more so.

He walks slowly to the floating, screen-like vision of the woman he loves more than anything in the galaxy, and he places a hand on her face. He can’t feel her against his fingers, but he can feel her inside of him. Her sorrow is palpable and he can’t help but cry with her.

“Rey,” he whispers, his voice shaking, “Rey, hang in there. I’ll come for you. I’m not dead. I’m…” he looks to one side and then back at her, “here…wherever ‘here’ is…but I’m not gone.”

She can’t hear him. She may not be able to feel him either. She continues to cry. Ben sniffs and tries to stay strong. “Rey…” and then, he is swept into the vision. It’s blurry, and she is barely visible now, but she is right next to him. He can’t touch her, but he can sit down next to her. So he sits as closely as he can to her and whispers.

“Rey, my love. Please listen. If there’s any way that you can, please hear me.” He looks down and fights back more tears. This is important. He can’t cry now. He has to tell her these things. He has to let her know. “You’re the fire that has burned inside me my entire life. The bright, vibrant soul that kept me going—that has kept me going, even now that I’m…gone.” He looks down at her. She’s lying on the floor with her face in her hands. He holds a hand over the blurred outline of the back of her head and continues, “You’re the part of me that will forever keep me alive. No matter what happens. For as long as you live, you are every piece of me. Before I even knew it, you were everything good I ever felt, ever experienced, in my entire life. Every laugh, every whisper, every warm embrace…you were there.” His eyes look at her gently. He lifts his hand and gets down beside her.

He lies his body next to hers and faces her, their bodies making a heart into the sand. He smiles at her and tries to brush her hair from her face. It doesn’t move of course, but he doesn’t care. He’s just glad that he can be here for her, because he knows some of this will get through to her. He doesn’t know what, but he knows something will.

He continues, “I kept offering you my hand. There were moments I thought I’d never feel your hand against mine again, like that night when we touched through the Force…I thought you’d never take it,” he smiles to himself, “but the bigger part of me knew. I always knew it would be us in the end. What could have been…lies in you now. Live for both of us. Live. Just live. That’s all I want for you.” He can’t help it. Tears are streaming down his face and through the vision that he’s hoping he can stay within as long as possible. “That’s all I want for you,” he whispers as he cries, “I gave you every last breath inside me so you could live and fulfill the life you always wanted…”

Ben opens his eyes and the vision disappears, swirling all around him before bursting into light. Before he can worry, though, he sees Rey. She’s at peace. She isn’t on Tatooine. She isn’t really here, at least not entirely, but he can see her, and she can see him. He doesn’t know how real this vision is, but right now he would risk anything to see her. To have some shot at speaking with her. To have another chance at being there for her. Of being with her.

Rey smiles at Ben, and his heart stops. She’s blue and he can see through her, but she’s waiting for him. He runs to her and is relieved beyond comprehension when she isn’t out of reach. He gets to her and places his hands on her face. The world around them turns to color and it’s as if he’s reached her in the real galaxy, on Tatooine, and he’s holding her face with his forehead against hers.

Tears stream down her face. “Ben,” she says. He smiles wide and tears continue to fall around it. “Ben,” she says again, her lip quivering as her eyes close, “Ben, I’m so scared. I miss you. How am I supposed to do this without you?” She starts to cry.

“Rey,” he says to her, letting her name linger on his lips as he kisses her forehead. “Please don’t be sad. I’m here. We’re bonded together. I’ll never leave you.” He looks down at her, his forehead back on hers, and continues, “and I want you to have every part of me.” She looks up at him through bleary eyes. He smiles softly and whispers, “I’ll fill your chest with warmth whenever you’re having a bad day. I’ll rock you to sleep when the pain you’re facing is too hard to bear. When life beats you down and you feel broken, I’ll touch your heart, and I’ll heal you all over again, every moment of every day, if that’s what you need. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you happy. I’ll give you the rest of my soul if I have to, if that’s what keeps you going.”

Her eyes close. “I just want you,” she says.

Ben kisses her forehead again. “Then that’s what you’ll get.” She looks into him and he smiles, and he’s strong, and he does everything to show her that he’s okay and that they’re okay, and that everything will be okay. “We’re in this together,” he says. She smiles, her cheeks dimpling. He leans down to kiss her on the lips, and she disappears.

His stomach drops, and the sinking feeling returns tenfold. All the visions of her are gone, but he’s no longer in a field of stars. He’s now in what looks like a stormy world. He doesn’t see anyone anywhere. He’s in a wide-open field. Grass and flowers are everywhere, but they’re gray, and storm clouds brew overhead. Lightning crashes.

Then that disappears too.

And he falls.

He falls until he lands on a hard, earthy surface, square on his back. Puffs of dirt bloom around him like a volcanic eruption. He grunts in pain but gets up, a hand cradling his lower back. When he makes it to his feet, Ben sees that he’s in some sort of cave.

Something’s there.

What is that?

A voice?

He follows it, staggering and wincing from the pain of his fall. He moves more quickly, going faster and faster until he turns a corner and his face lights up. His body suddenly feels okay, and he rushes over to the familiar screen of Rey walking on Tatooine. Only this time she looks different. She looks sick, and she’s walking to the Falcon. His face falls again.

He holds his hand out to her and closes his eyes. He tries to reach her, his whole being searching and yearning. “Rey,” he says, “Don’t worry about losing me. I’ll never leave you. You’ve found me in soul, and I’ll find you in body.” He opens his eyes and sees her crying again. She’s crying in the falcon. Tears roll down his cheeks once more. “Rey, I’ll be there soon. Just please…hold on. Stay strong. You’ve always been strong. Keep going. I’ll see you soon. If you ever need me, reach out, feel me, and I’ll be there.”

She looks like she heard something, but Ben can’t be sure. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, hoping that some of it reached her. Even if it’s just a feeling.

“Nobody’s ever really gone,” he says, watching her head fall into her hands, “Not even me.”

The vision fades. He holds his hand out to her face as long as he can until it dissolves completely and all that’s left is a stone wall.

He drops his hand. What now?

His mind searches for possibilities and what to do next. If he can reach her like this, there has to be a way he can reach her in person.

When he was still on the Dark Side, he learned about dyads, so he knows a lot of how they work. He studied a lot, and he knows more than probably anyone in the galaxy. If anyone has a good starting place of how to find her throughout space and time, it’s him. He will find her, and he will finally be home.

Rey, he calls out in his mind, clear, firm, and unwavering, Don’t worry. I’ll find you.

I’ll find you.

Chapter 5: Chapter Five

Chapter Text

“Well do you have any better ideas?” Rey snaps, turning the steering wheel so sharply that she turns the Falcon onto its side. BB-8 wails in a flurry of beeps and whistles. The stars and planets whisking by zoom past at every angle, so quickly that it’s hard to make out which is which. BB-8 rolls to the left side of the ship, which is now the bottom. Rey grumbles as she holds herself vertically, all her strength holding onto the levers that are allowing her to fly sideways. Once she passes the last of the large stream of boulder-like asteroids that had been clustered together in one shocking patch, she eases up and slowly turns the falcon upright. BB-8 rolls back over to the right of the cockpit. 

“See?” Rey says, as the ship slows to a more palatable speed. “We were fine.” BB-8 gives her a long disapproving beep. “Hey, don’t give me that attitude!” she says, leaning over and smiling. She leans down and straightens his antenna. “We were perfectly fine. I just didn’t see all those asteroids there. I was…distracted…” her mind trails back to the vision she had just before their space travels became perilous. His face was so real. She touched his cheek gently, and he smiled. He looked at her like he’d never seen someone so amazing—so wonderfully brilliant, or so strikingly beautiful. 

He had her smile, but other than that, he looked just like his dad. 

She held him as he giggled and gave her unintelligible coos. He was so chubby and small, and his hair was curly and black, just like Ben’s. She held him against her, and she felt his warm breaths against her neck, fluttering like a baby hummingbird. He smelled like clean flowers, and his little heartbeat pumped against her chest.  

That vision…was so real. Is that…was that the future? Was that really my baby? Or am I just tired and stressed and…

BB-8 squeals at a high frequency. Rey winces and waves him off. “Okay, okay, I get it! No more daydreaming. I need to help keep us safe.” Traveling without help was harder than Rey realized, but she can’t take anyone else with her. This mission is bound to get dangerous, and she needs to be able to be vulnerable and ready for Ben at any moment. What if he comes back through the Force somehow? Or she has to meet him somewhere alone and she can’t drop off any other passengers anywhere else, and if she risks that person’s life, she risks losing Ben forever? What if there is a place only they can go to? They are one in the Force after all…

She can’t risk anything happening to this mission. This is the one part of Rey’s life left worth fighting for. Ben isn’t just a part of her life. He’s a part of her.

She thinks of the baby in her belly as she steers down to the planet she needs to land smoothly on. I’m carrying his baby now, too. Maybe everything will crumble around Ben and I to bridge us together or something. So many things could go wrong. I can’t risk anyone getting hurt. I have to do this alone. And I have to do it alone for me too. This is for Ben and me. She places a hand on her stomach as the Falcon lands onto a pile of lush grass.

And for this little one too.

“Here we are,” Rey says, pulling herself down from her thoughts and back into the matters at hand.

“Ajan Kloss. Where the resistance allies are, for now.” She goes to adjust BB-8’s antenna but sees that it’s already straight, so she gets to her feet and begins walking down a couple corridors and finds her bag. She places some food in it, as well as her lightsaber, some small towels, and her canteen. She starts to tie it up when she sees Ben’s shirt out of the corner of her eye. It’s lying on the ground in a crumpled heap. Her heart speeds up slowly. She thinks of Ben and how he smiled at her moments before he turned into nothing, right before her eyes. When he slipped away and left her with nothing but a crumpled pile of clothes.

She can’t take her eyes off the shirt. It both stands for everything she loves and everything she lost. She both hates looking at it and can’t bear being without it. At the sound of yelling coming from outside the Falcon, she quickly grabs Ben’s shirt and shoves it into her bag.

She never wants to leave without him. She can still faintly smell his familiar scent on the shirt, and she knows it won’t be like that forever. She hopes she will never have to know a time where she isn’t smelling that earthy, yet sweet smell. 

Before it fades away, she will find him. She has to.

Rey walks over to the back of the Falcon and presses a button to release the door. It falls down into a ramp, and she sees two familiar faces smiling up at her so hard she can hardly see anything else. 
Her face lights up. “Finn! Poe!” she runs over to them and wraps them up in a hug. 

“How are you?” Finn asks. Rey smiles and looks away.

“I’m…good.”

“BB-8!” Poe calls out and runs over to his trusty pal as the droid rolls off the ramp towards them. “I missed ya, buddy! How’s hangin’ with Rey these days?” BB-8 gives off a series of dramatic beeps, which makes Poe laugh. Finn comes over and greets BB-8 as well, rubbing him on the head. 

They all exchange “how are yous” and “I miss yous” before Rey remembers the urgency of her matters here.

“Hold on, I need to talk to Leia—,” she stops herself in an instant. Her heart aches and her stomach drops. The memory that escaped her momentarily comes crashing back in an instant, the dread pooling through her body like it’s filling her with boiling water. “Um…never mind,” Rey says quietly, mostly to herself, trying to brush off the pain of her fleeting mistake. Finn looks at her with solemn eyes, not buying her facade. 

He pulls her into a hug and says, “It’s okay to not be okay right now, Rey. It’s okay.”

She holds onto her friend and cries into his chest. He’s the brother she never had, and right now she’s grateful she has family to turn to. 

“I miss Ben,” she says, sniffling and trying to calm her sobs. Finn flinches. 

“Yeah,” he says, trying to comfort her but not really knowing how. All he can see is the man in the mask when she brings up Ben. He has a hard time putting together what good he did for her, and what good he did for the entire galaxy. He wishes he’d seen it for himself to help aid the process, but since he didn’t, he will just have to take her word for it and eventually soak in the facts himself. “I’m...uh. I’m sure he’s okay.”

She jerks back, pulls away from him, and scowls. “What? You know he’s not okay, Finn. You know he—“

“I know. I know.” He nods. “I just mean wherever he is. I’m sure he’s okay.”

The pain still stings Rey’s chest. Her fists are clenched so tight she can feel her fingernails digging into her skin.

Her blood turns cold and her stomach is sick. Her stomach...

She turns around and throws up without any warning at all. She heaves over and over again, and Finn rushes over to help her.

“Whoa, Rey, are you okay?” 

Annoyed, Rey says, coughing and still bent over, “Does it look like I’m...okay?” She throws up one more time before being able to stand up and feel normal again. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m not really myself lately. For obvious reasons and...” she trails off and thinks of the baby boy she dreamed about last night. 

“Rey?” Finn asks, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Water....” she whispers absently. “…can you please bring me some water?” 

“Yeah sure,” he says, “Be right back.”

Rey nods and smiles faintly. She takes a seat on a nearby crate and drifts back to thinking about that little boy. He looked just like Ben, and he was happy. She was happy. How could she possibly be happy without Ben? How could she have his baby and not share in the joy with him? No. He’s out there. I know he is. I know. 

Finn returns with a glass of water, and it isn’t until she sees it that she remembers that she just packed a water canteen in her bag. She figures it’s best not to tell anyone.

“So, Rey, how are you doing?” Poe says, giving her a pat on the back.

“Whoa, be careful. She isn’t feeling well, remember?” Finn says, handing a small can of water to Rey. She takes it graciously and chugs it down. 

“Oh yeah. What’s going on? Are you sick?” Poe asks. Rey finishes her water, and then sets the cup beside her. Her fingers lightly trail around the rim without really touching it. The sound of her baby laughing hums in her ears.

“Rey?”

She jumps. “Oh sorry, yeah...I um...I’m okay,” she adjusts herself into a better sitting position and faces the two of them. “I need some water, can you guys get me some water please? I think I need to be alone for a second to gather my thoughts. It’s been a long journey.”

They exchange glances but do as they’re told. “Sure thing,” Finn says.

“We’ll be back. We’ll check on you in a few minutes, if that’s okay,” Poe says.

She nods. “That’s fine. See you soon.” She holds a forced smile until her friends fade from view.  She lets herself fold in half. Her stomach feels like rotting food, and her whole body feels like it’s made of paper and gelatin. She feels like she hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in a year, if that, and it feels as though her insides have all been sucked from her body. All she’s left with is agony and a sour stomach. 
She looks out into the trees and tries to feel human again.

“BB-8,” Rey whispers, as a tear drips down from the bridge of her nose, “I don’t know what to do. I have a pain inside me that won’t go away. In my chest...in my stomach. It’s not from being pregnant...it’s from missing Ben.” She sobs, her arms wrapping around herself, “I never really even got to tell Ben how much I loved him. How much I love him, and how I always will. Every day...I’ll love him more. That won’t ever go away.” She sniffs and looks at her droid friend, “This pain may never go away. Because the only way it will is if I find Ben...and I don’t know if it’s even possible, which is terrible because...I know he’s alive.” She lifts a hand to her heart and looks straight at BB-8. “I can feel it, just as much as I can feel this pain. Probably stronger.”

“Then you should go get him,” a voice says from behind her. She turns and sees Finn smiling softly down at her, Poe approaching behind him. 

A worried jolt sizzles up Rey’s spine. “How much of that did you hear?” she quickly asks.

He smiles wider, and Poe finally makes it by his side. 

“What’d I miss?” Poe asks, looking between the two of his friends. Rey has a stern, fixed stare on Finn, who can’t resist spilling the news. 

“I heard that you’re pregnant.”

Poe’s eyes widen. “What!” his voice booms, and his face is both surprised and smiling, mouth wide open. “Little Rey here? Pregnant? So you—”

“No,” she says quickly, “it wasn’t like that. I—“

“Wait a minute,” Finn interjects. 

Poe points at Rey but looks at Finn as he says, “No, no, no! I need to know how this happened!”

“You’re not my father, Poe. Does it really matter?” Rey asks, annoyed. 

“Actually it does. We’re trying to help you, and it would be kind of nice if you’d—“

“Guys, stop,” Finn says, patting BB-8. He leans down and greets his old friend.

Rey jumps to her feet. Her vision is wavy for a moment and it’s hard to stand up straight. Poe hurries over to help her, but she waves him off. “I’m all right. Just...not used to being...well, you know.”

Pregnant?” Poe asks.

Rey freezes. “Yes...p...” she trails off. Poe narrows his eyes at her.

“Why are you so averse to admitting you’re pregnant? What are you hiding? What’s going on?”

“Would you please just let it go for a second?” Rey presses back, glowering.

“Well pardon me for caring—”

“GUYS!” Finn yells. The two of them stop again, this time abashed, like school kids caught fighting on a play yard. 

“She started it,” Poe mutters. Rey’s mouth gapes open as she turns to Poe in disbelief. She’s about to say something when she remembers Finn’s pleas and doesn’t want to leave him pleading for a third time. So she bites her tongue and shakes her head, facing forward and trying not to say anything else.

“Seriously, Dameron?” Finn says with a cocked brow. 

“Well look at her! She prickled when I asked her about being pregnant. She’s all prickly now.”

Rey looks away; and Finn’s face falls. His eyes are fixed on Rey. He can practically feel her heart pumping at a rapid pace, and she refuses to meet eye contact with anyone as she pretends to look off into the horizon at something that isn’t even there.

“Rey,” Finn says quietly. She turns to look at him.

“Yes, what is it?” Rey responds calmly, matching the softness and genuine concern of her friend.

“What aren’t you telling us?” 

For a while, she just stands there in silence, looking at her friend with desperate, worried eyes, begging for help through her mind. 

Poe studies then and then shakes his head. “Are you guys communicating in your minds? ‘Cause if you are that’s just not very nice.”

Finn focuses and looks deeper into Rey. He closes his eyes and he can feel the conflict and pain swirling inside her.

She presses into his mind to show him what happened on Exogal—Ben sacrificing his life for her. She tries with all her might to get him to feel what she’s feeling. To understand the pain she’s been going through, if only for a moment. In his mind, Finn sees Ben. His love for Rey, his hand on her belly, and his falling and fading away.

Without warning, tears roll down Finn’s cheeks, and he’s crying whole-heartedly, with Rey joining him in his sobs. They waddle over to each other and cry. 

“You’re in so much pain, Rey. I’m so sorry.”

Poe comes over and pats Rey softly on the back. “I’m sorry,” he says.

Rey can’t speak through her sobs, but she clenches Poe’s hand tight in hers to let him know everything is okay.

After a few minutes, the crying dies down, and Poe feels comfortable asking Rey, “Can you explain to us what happened?”

Rey nods and sits down on a log nearby and breathes. She pushes down the nausea threatening to bubble up her throat again before she starts.

“As I told you after we celebrated the victory last month…Ben…sacrificed his life for me.” Her voice begins to shake. She looks up at her friends, who are listening attentively—Poe with narrowed eyes and his head rested on his knuckles, and Finn with his arms crossed, leaning back. She looks down at her hands and continues, “He…he somehow…um…” How do I explain this? “He placed his hand on my belly when he brought me back to life, and I think he placed a part of his soul in me.”

“Didn’t you say you were made from one soul or something to begin with anyway?” Poe asks, recalling the initial conversation they had about a month prior. 

Rey doesn’t look up. She just shakes her head and says, “No…it’s not like that, and that’s not what I mean.” She sits up and places her hands on her stomach. Closing her eyes and taking a breath, Rey realizes she should just come out and say it. “Ben somehow impregnated me through the Force. I’m carrying his child and I’m very much pregnant. I am scared, I am lonely, I’m sad, and I don’t know what to do.” Rey breaks out in tears, letting her face fall into her hands. Her shoulders tremble and everything is foggy. She can’t hear or feel anything, and her skin begins to prickle.

“Rey. Rey, we’re here for you. It will be okay.” She hears. She concentrates and shakes herself out of the dreary fog that keeps pulling her into its depths.

She looks up and sees both of the guys at her side. “I’ll be fine, thanks. I-I just need to know where to go. I need to know what to do. I need to learn more about Force dyads and I need answers.”

Finn’s eyes narrow. Rey opens her mouth to speak, but Finn stops her. “Rey, I found a book a couple weeks ago. In Leia’s things. I think it may help.” 

Rey’s eyes widen. “What is it?” Her heart flips. Poe gives Finn a confused look.

“I’ll find it. I’ll be right back.” He jumps to his feet and starts running off. He turns to Poe before he gets far and says, “Make sure she’s okay and doesn’t, like, fall over or something!”
Rey rolls her eyes, “I’m pregnant, not feeble.” 

Poe gives her a half-smile. “Ah, he has good intentions.” Rey smiles and laughs, wiping at her nose with the hem of her sash. Poe stops her by holding gently onto her wrist. “I’ll go get you some tissues,” he says with a smile. She laughs sadly as he walks away. 

She stares off until she hears Poe’s footsteps return with a handful of tissues. “Thanks,” she says. 
Before long, Finn comes running back with a bag on his back. It looks old and heavy, and it’s the shade of burnt mud. 

“Hey,” he says, swinging the bag from his back in front of him, shrugging it off his shoulder. Finn pulls out a worn leather notebook from his bag. Its color is a deep sage, with a tattered binding and frayed edges. The cover turns up like a growing wave, its pages fanning out at its crest. It looks ancient.

“What’s that?” Rey asks, watching Finn open the book.

“It’s a book that used to belong to Maz. Her name is scribbled inside. She must have given it to Leia at some point. She wrote something about a dyad inside.” Rey’s heart punched against her chest in one great thud. 

“What does it say?” she asks in a whisper, her eyes wide and her body stiff.
Finn shakes his head and turns the book around so Rey can see it. “All it says is ‘dyad’ and something about the Force, and some scribbles that I can’t make out are around it…I don’t know. I don’t know if she’s the one who wrote it or what it means.”

Rey smiles wide. It’s like sunshine has spilled into her, filling her with hope and direction. “This is great!” she says.

Finn gives her a puzzled look, “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t you see? This is how I can find Ben!”

Finn closes the book. “Look, Rey, I don’t want you to get your hopes up. Ben is gone, and I don’t know if Maz is still where she told us she was going a few weeks ago…”

“Finn, I heard him. I heard Ben.” Rey fixes her gaze on his. “He’s not gone. I can feel him, and I heard him say ‘that’s my girl’ when I was on the Falcon. It had to be him,” she says, her mind searching every possible explanation. “I heard him. It wasn’t long ago…a few hours, or maybe a day. I don’t know. But I heard him. I know I did.” She looks up at her friends. Both Finn and Poe are looking at her, wearing sad, doubtful expressions that they’re trying to mask with sympathetic smiles. It’s not working. “You don’t believe me.” She stands up and starts to gather her things.

“Rey, no, wait—” Finn starts.

“We don’t have all the answers, Rey,” Poe says, “but it just doesn’t seem possible that he—”

“That he spoke to me?” Rey challenges, walking right up close to him and looking him straight in the eyes. “Because everything else any of us has experienced over the last few years has made any logical sense at all, right? And I wasn’t brought back from the dead, right?” Poe purses his lips and nods slowly.

“You’re right,” he says, “Like I said, we don’t have all the answers…”

“No, we don’t,” she says, taking a step back and looking at both Finn and Poe, “which is why I need to go find them.”

“Find them? Answers? From who? For what?” Finn asks. Rey’s picking up her things and grabbing the book Finn just handed her moments ago. 

“I need to find Maz. She knows something. She’s helped me before…” she thinks back on the time she found Luke’s lightsaber. When it was calling to her. She shakes herself to the present, “According to this, she’s my lead.”

“Your lead?” Finn asks.

“Why is she your lead? How?” Poe asks.

Rey whips her bag around her shoulder and says, “Because her name is in that book.” She looks over to Finn. “And I have to do this alone. I’m sorry.”

“You can’t just go places alone—”

“Finn, I have to.” Rey’s voice booms across the forest, hitting every tree, and causing birds and nearby creatures to squawk and scurry. She looks at Finn with eyes that assure him that nothing will change her mind, and he can see how desperately she needs to do this.

He takes a deep breath and puts his hands on Rey’s shoulders. “Rey,” he says, looking at her somber eyes that seem to be fighting back tears, “How do you know you’re even going to find him? And how do you know he’s even out there?”

“Finn,” Rey says in both a whisper and a commanding tone, urging him to listen up and listen up good,

“He is out there. I know it. I can feel it. I can feel him. And I heard him. He and I are a dyad in the Force. We can’t be severed…I need more answers. Maz can help me. She’s the only one I can turn to. And I have to go alone. This is between Ben and me. I’m sorry, but I have to. Please understand that.” Tears silently roll down her cheeks. She doesn’t break from looking at him with pleading eyes, begging him to understand.

After a long pause, Finn sighs and drops his hands to his side. “Okay. I understand. I trust you, Rey. If you feel something and know something, I trust that you know what you’re doing.”

“But you can’t go alone,” Poe interjects, walking up close so the three of them are in a tight group together, “that’s suicide.”

“I have no other choice, Poe.”

“You can bring one of the droids that have been helping us here. We have a couple that have been helping with maintenance and stuff. You can use one of them.”

Rey laughs and wipes the tears from her cheeks, “Thanks, but I think I need more than a maintenance droid. That’s not the kind of help I think I’ll need when times get rough.”

“They don’t just do that,” Poe says, as if she should’ve already known that, “they worked with us throughout the entire rebellion.” Rey smiles. Finn puts a hand on her shoulder again.

“We’ve got you, Rey. We’re always here for you,” Finn says. Rey chokes back tears as she wraps her arms around her friends. 

“Thank you, guys. Thanks. For everything.”


*

“Is everything set?” Finn calls up into the Falcon.

Rey rushes around, checking the fuel, food, and cargo. She now has extra blankets, back-up fuel, and carefully wrapped cheeses, fruit, and bread, along with water and juice. There isn’t a lot of everything she needs, but she has enough to get her where she needs to go and not leave her stranded and starving in the middle of nowhere. 

“Everything looks good!” she calls back, her chest filling with butterflies. “I’m ready to go!”
Finn and Poe come up the ramp and give Rey one last hug. She squeezes them tight. “Thanks for everything,” she says, “Really. Thank you.” She pulls away and says, “I’ll see you all soon. I’m sure of it.” 

“We better see you soon,” Finn says as he starts descending from the Falcon.

“Preferably in one piece,” Poe adds as he starts following Finn off the ship.

Rey laughs. “It’s a deal.” When they land their feet on the grass, Rey hits the button, and the door starts closing. She waves to her friends as they slowly fade from her view. She also waves to the others as well, who are scattered behind Finn and Poe—friends and fellow resistance members who she knows and loves but doesn’t have time to talk to right now. She’ll come back again one day. But it will be with Ben. Not before then. She makes a deal with herself right then and there that she will not come back without him. She refuses. 

It’s a deal. 

It’s a promise.

Finally, the door seals shut and Rey is left alone. Now with just BB-8 and IQ-39, the mechanical droid with mercenary and pilot experience, rewired during the rebellion. It makes its way to the cockpit to begin piloting to their destination of Takodana, where Rey was told Maz just went back to about three weeks ago. 

She watches the droid leave. It doesn’t look anything like BB-8, but it reminds her of some of the droids she’s seen in the past. It’s long and silver, with four knobs and three lit, yellow buttons jutting out at different depths on its face. The buttons make an upside-down arrow, and the four knobs form a constellation of metal parts along the left side of its buttons. It’s as tall as Rey is—maybe a bit shorter—and not very personable. It will be a good addition to her team, though. She can’t really handle being around anyone who would talk too much right now anyway. She has one thing and one thing only on her mind.

Ben.

The ship rumbles and lifts into the sky, but just before they hit light speed, something inside Rey’s stomach strikes her like a lightning bolt cutting through her from her womb into her spine.


She yells out in pain and grabs at her belly. The pain hits her again. And again. 

The Falcon hits light speed. As they push at full force into the sky, Rey falls backwards, hits her head against the side of the ship, and passes out.  

Chapter 6: Chapter Six

Chapter Text

He looks at his hands and studies every line. Is this real? Am I still real? He slowly curls his fingers into a fist and watches his hand ball up. He sits down and leans back on the cold, coarse wall of the cave. Ben looks at the space where he’d just seen her. The wall that brought her to him. So close. He was so close.

The memory flutters back. He remembers her face. Her tears. Her reddening face and hollow cheeks. She looked sick. He just wanted to reach out and grab her. He almost did. He almost touched her. Was that real?

I thought I found her, but I was wrong. He picks up a black, jagged rock that looks like a burnt chunk of bread, and he tosses it at the wall, as if that would bring the vision back. The window to Rey.  I won’t be wrong for long. I can’t be. I won’t let myself be. I’ll find her.

He takes a sharp turn and runs out of the cave. He races through the opening, each step quickly escaping the rocks as the cave dematerializes behind him. He leaps out of the mouth but staggers back when a flash of bright light blinds him on the other side. Covering his eyes with the back of his hand, he winces. The light fades and suddenly he’s surrounded by vibrant flowers and grass stretched out as far as he can see. Ben looks around. No one else is here. Just flowers and lush grass, blowing sweetly in the warm night air—if it actually is night. It’s either a peaceful night on a fertile world of spring, or Ben is floating on a palette of ground in the middle of the mysterious universe that he’s been walking in and out of for what’s seemed like days—maybe weeks, or even longer. How long have I been here? In this world between worlds? Ben shudders and shakes off the thought. He can’t let anything scare him right now. He has to figure out how to keep going. He has to keep his motivation alive.

Stars tucked in that blanket of night stretch across and around the mysterious land like a dome. Despite all the travelling he’d done in his life, Ben had never seen anything like this place. It was like a little piece of his dreams stretched out before him. A favorite memory yet to happen.

He’s walking in the grass, breathing in the sweetness of the world around him, when he sees something out of the corner of his eye. A flicker. A vibrant flame the color of ice. He turns toward it and gasps.

It’s a girl. A woman. She’s facing the opposite direction, so Ben can barely make out anything other than the long dress she’s wearing. It’s as clear blue as a secret stream, untouched by man and hidden away in the farthest corners of the galaxy. From this distance, she looks like the mouth of a water fall, pooling against the grass. Ben walks closer, slowly, unsure of what to do or what’s happening. The closer he gets, the more he can make out. She’s still pretty far away, but he can see her clearly now. Her skin is the color of cream, and her nose makes a point up into the sky, where she seems to be counting the stars. Behind her head, her hair is knotted into three chocolate-colored buns on the back of her head.

He freezes.

It’s her. His heart rises. He walks faster, and faster, and faster. Soon, he’s sprinting towards her, afraid she might disappear if he takes too long to get to her. “Rey,” he whispers, mostly to himself. Then again, louder, for her, “Rey!”

She turns around. Her eyes widen and her mouth opens in surprise. “Ben?” She asks. “Ben, is that you?”

He laughs in relief, tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. He slows as he gets to her and stops a few feet in front of her. He wants to snatch her up and never let her go. But he wants to make sure she’s all right.

He knows this may not really be Rey. She may just be a figment of his imagination, or a Rey from another time, or an image he doesn’t understand, but he doesn’t care. All he knows is he misses her and will take any chance he can to see her. But just in case this Rey wasn’t ready for him to latch onto her under the stars, he does the only thing he knows to do.

Ben reaches out to her, giving her his hand.  

It stays there for a while, outstretched, his palm-up and open for her. He looks into her eyes and sees a shooting star reflect off of them. The freckles on her face are even more striking than he remembers. His face softens, his heart filled with such joy just to be in the same place as her. He memorizes every curve of her face, and every inch of her skin, planting it into his memory so he never forgets. He doesn’t know how much time he has with her, but he won’t waste a second of it. The longer he looks at her, the more his heart melts inside.

Rey looks down at his hand. She stares at it for a few seconds before slowly raising her hand to tuck it into his. She curls her fingers around his hand, When their palms touch, the world between them—the world that only belongs to them—electrifies like it did back in that hut on Ahch-to. When they knew they’d always be one. The only ones to understand the other. Two halves of one whole. They didn’t know at the time how true that sentiment really was.

She looks at him with fire in her eyes and excitement on her face. Her nose scrunches up when she finally just smiles and lets herself fall into him. When she does, he twirls her body to curve into him. He wraps his arms around her, squeezes her tight, and nestles into the curve of her neck.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers. Her soft, even breaths wax and wane against his chest. I don’t think she heard me…

The air around them picks up, and Rey’s hair moves along Ben’s skin. With the rush of wind, he can smell the sweet scent of berries and cream that somehow always lingers on her skin, even during battle. A scent he wishes he could bottle up and keep with him forever—to remind him of the one person who truly understands him and loves him unconditionally, when things are too hard to handle alone. The scent of the woman he loves. The woman he misses.

Rey’s face nestles against his chest, and he decides it’s okay that she didn’t hear him. He just wants to enjoy this time with her. Her rubs her back slowly and traces his fingers along her shoulders. She looks up at him with dewy eyes. He smiles and kisses her on the forehead. To his dismay, he can’t feel her skin against his lips. Panicked that this dream may come to an end, he quickly holds on tighter to her and intertwines his fingers with hers.

“Shall we dance?” he asks, his smile evident in his voice. She nods against his shoulder, leans back, and looks up at him with such pure love he could cry. Rey, you’re everything to me. I hope you know that. He wants to say these words so badly, but he’s too afraid to open his heart to this dream. He wants to know he’s really speaking to Rey. The real, true Rey. The one who held him when he fell. When he passed on to wherever he is now.

“I’d love to dance,” Rey says, and Ben is brought back to the present. Here, with the woman he loves, he will dance. He doesn’t know what will come after this or what to even expect, but right now, he will make her happy. He will do anything he can to have one more look at her. One more touch. Even though it seems he can’t kiss her here.

They twirl around, letting the stars be their spotlights, guiding them from one patch of field to the next, he smiles at her as long as he can before tears start trickling down his face. His hands fall and he wraps his arms around her.

“Ben,” she laughs shakily, “You know I cry when you cry.” He laughs too, the kind of trembling laugh you make when something relieves you of the pain of crying, even if it’s just for a second or two.

They pull away far enough to look into each other’s eyes. They stand there smiling at each other and drinking each other in for so long that Ben starts to see that this truly is his Rey. Somehow. Not in the “flesh,” but it is her.

“Rey?” he says, but the word doesn’t sound. His head wrinkles and his eyebrows knit together. His chest aches in panic. “Rey!” he tries again, but still nothing. Rey’s face falls and the world around them starts to fade. “Rey!” he tries again, tears spilling down his face. “Rey…” he reaches out to her, but she slips away into the darkness, the world of flowers vanishing with her.

Storm clouds brew around him and suck him into a large twister. He beats his fists and kicks his legs, but the storm throws him left and right effortlessly like he’s a doll made out of rags and cotton. Suddenly, he’s thrown from the top and lands back in the middle of the nothingness of the galaxy. Right back where he started when he came to.

Alone.

Ben drops his face into his hands, pulling his fingers into his hair. He cries. He lets everything drain from him until he finally beats one fist into the invisible floor and then jumps to his feet, beyond angry and extremely determined.

“AHHHH!” He yells into the void. He huffs and puffs, slowly catching his breath and slowing his heartrate down. He has to focus. He can’t let this be the end. He can’t let that be the last time he has any kind of interaction with the woman who owns half of his soul. If not all of it.

He thinks of the visions of Rey and all the ways she’s been showing up since he’s been here. His face pulls together.

What does this mean? Why do I keep seeing her? And why can’t I find Rey herself—the living, breathing one I can kiss and hold and live with on Jakku, or Tatooine, or Naboo, or anywhere we choose? Why can I only see these shadows of her? Why do I see her but can’t get to Rey herself? This doesn’t make any sense. Ben sits back down on his invisible seat in the endless sky, and he thinks. Wracking his brain for any possible explanation—anything that may connect all the dots.

“She’s so close…I keep seeing her. Why do I keep saying her?” He closes his eyes, and there she is. Her face just as solid as it was in that field of flowered grass. It’s like he couldn’t lose her if he tried.

His eyes shoot open.

“That’s it,” he says. He stands up, staring out into the nothingness, remembering every word from the books he read just a little while before he passed into this place—before I woke up in this place, he reminds himself. He can see the pages in his hands, his eyes searching through them, memorizing every symbol, every legend, every fact and myth, every experience noted. Every detail.

When he was still under the pseudonym of Kylo Ren—right before he told Rey about her Palpatine lineage—he learned as much as he could about Force Dyads. As soon as he found out that they were One in the Force as a Dyad, and realized that it was in fact true, he hungered for any information on it. Ravenous, he found any and all details he could that could bring him more understanding of his bond with her. Of course, the books, notes, and other information would only bring him insight into their bond within the Force, and not on the bond that they planted and grew themselves. The one most special to him.  

Remembering what he’d seen when he was still alive, he gets to his feet and starts walking. All he sees is darkness and stars, but he knows that it won’t be like that for long.

He reaches out with his heart, closes his eyes, and breathes. “Rey.”

When he opens his eyes, there she is. Over and over again. Rey. Different visions and different screen-like windows showing her—walking, crying, laughing, racing, training—in all different places throughout all spaces in time.

He smiles and starts walking, feeling which direction to go, which paths to take.

Suddenly, he stops. He looks straight ahead, his brows furrowing.

“Rey?”

Chapter 7: Chapter Seven

Chapter Text

The sword skims the skin just below her left shoulder and slices down to the middle of her bicep. She screams in anguish but keeps fighting. The burning of her flesh is nothing compared to the fear she has of losing her child. She feels his heart slow inside her womb. She doesn’t know how, but she can tell. She’s losing him.

She fights harder. No one will take him from me. “RAHH!” she yells, thrusting the lightsaber into the soldier’s armor with her unscathed arm. She pushes the burning blade directly in the chest of this creature. This creature who is trying to kill her and take everything she holds dear. Her baby. Her life. And even Ben.

Rey catches her breath, panting heavily, scanning the desert landscape. A planet that is both desert and relatively populated. It’s not as hot as Tatooine or Jakku, but the terrain is almost identical.

A shadowed being with no face comes rushing towards her from behind a broken-down star destroyer on the horizon. Terror pumps through her and turns everything inside her cold. She puts another hand on her lightsaber, both hands not clasping the hilt, and runs toward it at full force. Screaming, she waves her lightsaber into it, but she misses. She doesn’t know what happened. She just swung and then flew back and crashed onto the ground on her back.

She’s surrounded in darkness. Pain is pulsating through her like a thousand tiny heart beats living in her veins. A sharp pinch sinks into her right arm.

“Ah!” she groans, wincing and shaking her arm.

“Hold still. I have to get this into you fast.”

Rey opens her eyes. She’s not on a desert planet. Trees are draping over her, and silver and grey buildings are jutting out here and there between them. Lively talking and a cacophony of sounds indicate an atmosphere much livelier than anything Rey has been used to, at least for a long time.

She looks to the person talking to her. It’s a woman with dark curly hair pinned up behind her ears, aged lines creased within her cheeks and in the corners of her eyes, and a nose that points down towards her mouth.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Rey asks.

The woman smiles. “I’m a nurse. Your droid over there found me.” She motions her head over Rey as she pricks her with the needle again. Rey winces and then turns her head to see BB-8. He whistles happily. “It seems you had a nasty fall on your ship. Your droid was quite worried.”

She smiles and adjusts the droid’s antenna. “It’s okay, BB-8. I’m quite alright. Thank you, though. I don’t know if I would be okay if it weren’t for you, so thank you.”

IQ-39 walks over to Rey from behind the nurse. “The BB unit was quite helpful,” it said, “I didn’t notice your fallen state, but I rushed you to safety as soon as we landed.” The long droid waits patiently for Rey’s approval.

Everyone wants to feel appreciated I suppose, Rey thinks to herself as she smiles. “Thank you, IQ. I don’t know if I’d be okay without both of you. I’m very glad I took you along on my journey.”

Her smile quickly fades when she remembers the pains in her stomach. “The baby. Is my baby okay? I fell pretty hard and I—”

“It’s alright,” the woman hushes, taking the needle out of Rey’s arm. “The baby is the first thing I checked. The droids informed me of your pregnancy, and it seems you’re starting to show as well. Congratulations.”

Rey looks down at her stomach and sees it slightly puffed out. I hadn’t noticed that before…

“How long—” Rey starts to ask, but IQ-39 interrupts with the answer.

“You were unconscious for 10.8 days.”

Rey’s eyes bulge out. “What? That’s impossible! How did I possibly survive? How was the baby even okay?”

The woman shakes her head. “I don’t know, honestly. I don’t have all the answers, but strange things seem to be going on with you. Your body has been tensing and relaxing, moving and twitching. You’ve been in a very restless state.”

Rey thinks of the dream she was having before she woke up. The cut in her arm felt so real. Maybe that was the needle or something? Everything felt so real. So tangible. It couldn’t have been just a dream…couldn’t it?

“Thanks, I…wait,” Rey looks around, searching the people walking by. They’re outside. She’s on a stretcher near a large gathering area. “Why am I outside? Where am I?”

“You’re on Takodana,” the woman replies, “and due to the state of emergency, we got you out here as soon as we could. The hospital is a two-day journey by foot, and flying some more didn’t seem like the best idea to your droids, and I’m inclined to believe them.

“We’re on Takodana?” Rey asks, breathing a sigh of relief. Then her eyebrows knit together, “Wait, why shouldn’t I fly?”

The woman makes a face like she’s trying to figure out how to put a thick piece of thread into a tiny needle. “Well…it’s hard to explain, but it seems that the fetus is in a distressed state, and being on the ground has given it some ease.”

What is going on? What does any of this mean? Why am I okay still?

I need answers.

“Where’s Maz?” she asks the woman as she patches up her arm. “Oh, and I’m sorry, but what’s your name?”

“I’m Hallana.” She smiles. “It’s okay. I understand. Things aren’t going easy for you right now, are they?”

Rey thinks of Ben. She thinks of his face fading away when she last saw him in a dream. She thinks of her baby strained in her belly as she fought for him in the sand. She thinks of her hard fall and the lump that has formed a volcano on her head.

The gravity of it all pulls at her like a puppet on a thousand strings.

She places a hand on the back of her head. “Ow,” she hisses.

“Ah, ah! Don’t touch that!” Hallana says, placing a cold ice pack on the back of Rey’s bandaged head. “You got a nasty bump there, and a cut to match. You need to let it heal.”

Great. This is great. Rey grumbles. How am I supposed to find Ben all banged up like this?

Rey looks back at Hallana and says again, “Where can I find Maz? Ah!” She bends over in pain. Hallana eases her back down onto her side.

“I’ll arrange for her to come see you. First, we need to get you inside and take care of you. You need to stay put, though. Okay?”

Rey sighs. I don’t have time for this.

The woman gives Rey a reprimanding look, knowing what type of thoughts are going through the young Jedi’s mind. Before she can scold her and escort her in the building a few feet away, someone comes shouting. “Hallana! Bree is up! She needs aid! Quick!” Hallana stands up and frantically looks from the young boy calling for her help and Rey, lying on the makeshift stretcher.

“I’m fine,” Rey says, “Go ahead.”

The woman nods and says, “Don’t you go doing anything foolish! You stay there! I’ll be back!”

Rey nods and waves as the woman leaves. As soon as she’s out of sight, Rey jumps out of the stretcher. BB-8 whistles at her angrily.

“Oh, I’m fine, BB-8,” she says, “I just need to take a look around. I need to find Maz. I don’t know if Ben has much time left. I know he’s out there…I just don’t know what to do.” She looks out thoughtfully, scanning their surroundings. “I need to find him…”

Rey almost forgot how beautiful this planet is. She can see running lakes and so many trees. So, so many. She starts walking towards the woods beside the building. She passes its stony walls and doesn’t realize it’s the crumpled, somewhat revived castle Maz used to reside in. The one that was destroyed back then…

Flashes of memories race inside her mind, overwhelming her with visions of the past. The lightsaber she didn’t want to keep. Finn. Han Solo. Running from destruction and pain. A voice. Kylo Ren. The moment she met Ben. Behind a mask. Deep within the shell of a villain he so desperately tried to be. Inside, he was always Ben. Scared. Afraid of more loss. Afraid of more abandonment.

She keeps going, diving deep into the woods. The memories continue. The stormtroopers. Finn. The fear that boiled inside her like nothing she’d experienced before.

The beauty that this world emanated. A beauty Rey had never seen before. She looks around, remembering those feelings and realizing she feels the same way about this world now. The whistling of the wind through the trees. The bright green landscape and the bustling of hundreds of peace-seeking people. But then the memories grow dark. Sounds of blasters and war. Cries for help. She keeps walking, deeper and deeper into the woods.

 The sound of Kylo Ren’s ship landing. The sounds that brought her to Luke’s lightsaber.

The sounds keep carrying her through the woods, as if guiding her to a specific place. A place Rey needed to go.

Then they stopped. All Rey can hear now are the chirps of birds and clicks and caws of other creatures. It doesn’t take her long to realize where she is. She’s standing in the spot where she first saw him. Kylo Ren. This is where she fell. Where he carried her to his ship. The spot where she met the persona that was holding Ben captive. The one he had to break free of.

Even back then, part of her knew. Ben wasn’t really gone. He was balled up inside of him. He was too scared to fight his way out.

And she was there too. Part of her was in there. She just didn’t fully understand it at the time. The conflict of feelings. The jarring rush of the Force, as its newborn powers surged through her veins. It opened up her mind in ways she couldn’t fully grasp. That day…

Rey runs her finger along a rock and looks out into the woods around her. Her stomach twists. Nausea bubbles up her throat. For a moment she forgets she’s pregnant. The sickness stays inside her though. The feeling may not be from that.

The memories…

Rey looks around and remembers the fear she had when she couldn’t resist Kylo Ren’s powers. She couldn’t break free from the Force he used to hold her still. Even now, she can’t reconcile the thought that Kylo Ren was ever Ben. Because he wasn’t. In a way, Ben was being held captive by Kylo Ren. She never could have been with him like that. He had to come out. Ben had to break free.

Rey smiles as she thinks, I never would have been able to guess that there was someone inside Kylo Ren that was so beautiful. He was beaten and bruised. He needed hope to come out. He needed love. I could show him, and I did, but he needed to make the rest of that journey out on his own. He needed to grow out of that shell. I knew he could do it, but I had to let him get there without me. If I hadn’t…I may have wondered how true his turning really was. How pure his heart really was. She smiles, but he became the purest person I’ve ever known. And he saved me.

Her eyes burn and a tear rolls down her cheek and onto the thick, cracked mud below. Ben had to make his own journey out of Kylo Ren before she could let him into her heart completely. She knew he had the power to do it. She knew he had the strength, even when he doubted it himself.

She never stopped loving him, and that was the hardest part. To wait. To wait until he was ready to come home. He had to make that choice. It was hard to wait, but the joy she felt when he came to her on Exogal was so sweet. It was well worth the wait—to feel his Force so pure and strong. To feel how his love for her and for himself burst through his bruises. He came to her, ready to love himself and love her with everything inside him. He became someone she knew he always was. From the beginning of time. Before she even realized she knew him.

Pride swelled through Rey’s breast. Ben was so brave. He is so brave. He made that decision to change for himself before he came to me. And that was the greatest gift he gave me. Until…

Her hand once more gravitated towards her stomach. A habit she realizes is starting to become more of a compulsion. Maybe to make sure he baby is really there. That all of this is real. That Ben is still alive, and part of him not only lives through her from his own fabric, but also from the fabric of their little one’s sweet, gradually forming soul.

She hears something.

Whipping around, Rey looks all around her, disoriented by the trees spinning about her.

Rey…

Her name whispers through the trees as the wind catches the flittering leaves in its breath.

Rey.

She looks right, and left, and all around her.

More sounds. People shouting. A baby crying. Rey screaming for Ben.

Ben’s voice ringing through her ears.

Rey!

She collapses. In the very spot she collapsed into Ben’s arms the first time they met.

Everything is dark. Her eyes are open, but it’s so pitch-black that she has to open and close them a few times to make sure they’re not closed. She tries to look around but sees nothing. Just darkness.

Then it gets a little less dark. And a little less. There’s no glowing light or illumination of any kind, but the darkness is fading and becoming light enough for her to see herself. She watches her hands and her swollen belly as they become increasingly more visible in the lightening darkness.  

Rey. The voice echoes around her, sending waves through the void she’s trapped inside.

She gasps. Looking all around, she says, “Ben? Ben, is that you? Are you in here somewhere?” She keeps looking but can’t find him anywhere.

Then a small lump starts solidifying far away. As she walks towards it, she realizes who it is. Ben. He’s trying to stand, and he’s partially see-through, but he’s there.

“Ben!” she yells, running to him. She gets closer and closer and watches as his face brightens up at the sounds of her voice. She’s so happy to see him. The joy sends rushes of fire through her body. She can’t get to him fast enough. “Are you real? Are you really there?” she says, too quietly for him to hear. He’s walking towards her too, but she’s speeding by so quickly that he won’t have to move much before she gets to him. As she runs, she studies his face as it comes into view, to make sure it’s really him. He looks tired. Exhausted. Beaten down. But it’s him.

Her footsteps echo through the void. They sound like chunks of metal dropping down a flight of stairs from afar. When she finally makes it to him, she can see he’s now smiling from ear to ear, which makes her heart race and stomach fill with butterflies. “You’re here,” she sighs “It’s really you.”

His smile shines even brighter. “Rey! I’m so glad,” he says, relieved but shaking. He stops moving suddenly, wincing in pain and holding his right side.

“Ben!” Rey gasps. She finally makes it to him. She tries to wrap her arms around him, but they go right through him. The disappointment sinks through her body like water draining from a pipe.

Ben isn’t surprised by her inability to touch him. He just stands straight up again and says, “Rey, listen. We don’t have much time. They’re coming for us. I don’t know where you are, and I can barely see you right now. I can feel you there and I know you’re in front of me.” He looks right at her, but his eyes don’t have that same relief as hers did. He really can’t see her.

His words sink into her.

“Wait, what?” she says, trying to drink in as much as she can of this vision of him. “Who’s coming for us?”

He bends over in pain and makes a loud, involuntary noise. “Ah!”

“No! What’s going on? Why are you hurt?” Rey’s eyes search all over him. He has no wounds, but he’s clearly been through some sort of trauma.

“Rey,” he says, now holding his side and kneeling on the ground, his head down, “I’ll be okay.” He looks up, meeting her eyes. Despite not being able to see her, he can find her. Even though he hasn’t found her yet in the flesh, he can feel her through the Force. Wherever he is. “I’ll never leave you, Rey. I’ll find you. Don’t worry.”

“I’ll find you too!” she says, her eyes welling up,

“Yes, I…I need your help. We need to find each other.” He’s trying to keep smiling, but the pain in his side is burning through him and making it hard to breathe. He stays strong though. Rey can tell he’s trying to stay strong for her. So she quickly tells him what she’s been wanting to tell him for a long time now.

“And Ben, I—” she holds her stomach. The baby.

His mouth turns up in a smile. “I know.”

She smiles harder than she thinks she ever has before. “I’m so excited!” She says, choking back tears.

He smiles and laughs, tears in his own eyes, “I am too. I love him already.”

Rey’s mouth drops, “You know too?”

“Of course I do,” he says. He holds a hand up to hold her face, knowing they won’t be able to feel each other. He just wants her to know he is there, and he won’t ever let her be alone. “Be strong, Rey. Be strong. Find me. I’ll meet you where the ends of our string of destiny meet. Follow it, and find me there.”

“I will,” she says.

“Oh you will, will you?” a voice asks her. It’s not Ben’s. Rey squints and opens her eyes. She’s not with Ben anymore. He’s gone. She is in Takodana. Lying on the ground, right where she was before she blacked out…or whatever it is she did.

“I knew I’d find you here,” the woman’s voice says, calm and sure.

Rey looks up and sees a familiar face that soothes her frantic soul.

“Maz.”

Chapter Text

“Come on, child. Let’s get you a drink, and something to eat. You look famished.” She looks from Rey’s gaunt face to her swollen belly. “And, if I’m guessing correctly, you need more food than just for you.”

Rey nods, still stunned from her dream and lying on the ground, balanced by the hands at her side. 

“Come then, let’s go.”

They take a seat in the rocky building that used to be a much more put-together tavern here on Takodana before all the events a few years ago occurred. Its walls are uneven and look slightly unsafe, and the ceiling is much lower and is made up of large rocks and metals of different types and colors. Overall, though, it’s a nice little tavern, and Rey is excited to be sitting in it, getting ready for a meal.

Still, she can’t help but remember her last time here and how different everything is now. It was a much larger, brighter place. Before everything happened. Before the horrible battles and destruction that took down this place, and many other buildings on Takodana, and sparked the changes in Rey’s life. Before Ben. Back when she started having feelings for a man behind a mask. A man she once thought was a monster. Back then, she hated how she felt a curious pull towards Kylo Ren—an intense attraction and longing for him—despite the disdain that fumed out her ears.

She laughs at the thought now. If only I had known back then what was in store...she thinks of Ben on Exegol and how he must have been racing as hard as he could to get her before Palpatine did. She thinks of how he saved her, sacrificing himself for her. I don’t think I would have believed it, even if I came from the future and told me myself. 

A Twi’lek waitress brings Rey her food. It’s a large plate packed to the rafters with pink meats, large green vegetables, salted red potatoes, and a large cloud-like roll. Her mouth waters at the sight of it all. She looks to Maz before digging in.

The old woman laughs. “You don’t need my permission,” she says as the waitress places a pink drink in front of her, “Eat up!”

Rey beams and does just that. She takes her fork and dives right in, eating every single piece of food on that plate. The meat is thick and juicy. It’s salted on the sides, mixing well with the dense, steaming potatoes. The vegetables are buttered to perfection and she closes her eyes in satisfaction as she puts every single last piece in her mouth, one by one. Finally, she gets to the roll. She takes a huge bite, sinking into its warmth. It’s crispy on the edges but as soft as a blanket inside. She’s never been so hungry in her life. It occurs to her that at some point her pregnancy nausea must have left her and was replaced with ravenous hunger. 

“I’ve never tasted something so delicious in my life!” Rey says with a mouthful of bread. Maz laughs.

“Hunger makes a great cook.”

Rey takes a long drink of water, relishing in its ice-cold, refreshing waves as they wash down her throat. “Ah,” she gleams, sinking back into her seat. She looks at the empty plate on the table in front of her. She ate it all. Every last crumb. She pops the remainder of the roll into her mouth and decides that it was the best part. She takes one more sip of her drink and then lightly pats her small belly. “Thank you.” She’s talking to Maz but looking at her stomach. I can’t believe a little human is inside there, she muses, I wonder if he enjoyed the food.

“Now tell me,” Maz says, lacing her fingers together and placing her elbows on the table, “What were you doing out there? Why were you talking to yourself?” She cocks a barely-visible brow and gives Rey a quizzical look.

The busy canteen is loud around them. A man with blue skin and tentacles is guffawing across the room, and two waitresses are talking amongst themselves, shaking their heads and rolling their eyes. One of them gets summoned to a table filled with a boisterously drunk Yakora, Gran, and two human men—one with long brown hair parted in the middle and the other a large man with spiked red hair and a pointed beard that looked like an upside-down arrow. 

Rey focuses. She looks at her hands as they push her plate away and brush crumbs along with it. When the space is clean, she places her fingers on the cool, slick surface. “I see him. I see Ben.” She looks up at Maz’s cool expression. “Oh,” she says, realizing Maz might have no idea what she’s talking about, “Ben...um...he saved me. I know it sounds crazy. I mean, he was Kylo Ren, but...” she trails off, smiling dreamily, thinking of Ben’s sweet expression and trembling lips when he revived her. He was so happy, even though he probably knew he was about to die. But he was happy. It didn’t matter to him. All that mattered was her. “He saved me. I loved him...I do love him.” She looks at the old, former pirate earnestly. “I know it sounds crazy, but I know he’s alive. I see him in my dreams.”

Maz takes a sip of her pink drink and sits back. She’s thinking about something and staring away from Rey. They sit there like that for a long time before Rey asks, “Do you want me to tell you? Everything? From what happened here to where I am now?”

Maz looks at her. “I already know a lot of things, and...” she looks away slowly, somewhere beyond Rey, “and I don’t think we have time for the whole story...” she looks back at Rey and finishes, “so why don’t you tell me the short version?”

Rey smiles, a little confused but relieved to know that Maz believes her and will trust her story. “Okay,” she says, and starts her story. She tells of her visions with him—those times they connected and told stories, confided in one another, and felt trust and acceptance in ways they’d never felt before. She tells Maz of how somehow she knew that Ben wasn’t lying when she was talking to him in that hut on Ahch-To. She felt it. Through the Force and deep inside her. She didn’t know at the time, but they were deeply connected. They were always supposed to be one. “We are something called a Dyad in the Force, which is one of the things I want to talk to you about,” Rey says, “but I’ll finish my story first.” Maz hides a smile and ushers the girl to continue.

Rey circles back to the events on Ahch-To and then goes into the events that took place in the throne room on Snoke’s ship and how Ben betrayed his master to save her. She tells of how Ben had to go through a journey of self-acceptance and knowing he’s still loved and that the dark side would not bring him what he needed—that he could always return to the family and the ones he loved, and that Rey loved him. She loved Ben. Not Kylo Ren. He had to know that. Rey yearned for Ben to know that. Then he learned it for himself. He listened to Rey, believing she wanted to take Ben’s hand and not Kylo Ren’s, and he came to terms with who he was. Who he wanted to be.

“It’s actually strange,” Rey says, her forehead scrunched in confusion, “I sometimes have these memories that aren’t mine. I see him. Things that he’s seen.” Then she continues. She tells Maz of her interaction with Ben on the planet in the Endor system, where they crash landed and found the remnants of the Death Star. Most importantly, she tells her everything that happened after that. On Exegol. Then afterwards, on Tatooine.

She tells her every little detail of what happened between her and Ben on Exegol. Right down to the look in Ben’s eyes when she came to. When he brought her back to life.

Maz studies Rey, soaking in all the information. She pauses and then says, “I always knew there was a connection between you and young Ben Solo.” Rey’s eyebrows pull together.

“What?”

Maz nods. “You have to remember. I’ve been around a loooong time. I know Ben Solo better than you realize. I saw him in his youth. I saw him many times, in fact. Riding on Chewbacca’s shoulders, at his dad’s side, looking up at Han with such admiration back when he was a young boy.” Maz frowns, a dark somberness in her eyes as she continues, “And I saw his struggle. His torment as he entered his teen years. His identity crisis. His longing for acceptance. And I remember Han and Leia’s anxiety when they sent him to Luke.” She looks beside herself thoughtfully and takes more time to think. Then she looks back at Rey and smiles, “And as I’ve said before, if you’re around long enough, you see the same eyes in different people.” Rey watches curiously. “And I have always seen the same eyes in you as I did in Ben Solo.”

Exhilarating emotions rush into Rey, filling her with hope and excitement. Of course. Of course she’d know Ben and I are two halves of one soul. She’s been around for a millennium. “So…have you always known Ben and I are a Force Dyad?” Rey asks softly, hoping no one else hears. This is something fragile and special. Rey doesn’t want anything to happen. She can’t risk anything bad happening that could stop her from finding Ben. It may not be a rational fear, but she wants to be cautious. Just in case.

“Well…no, I haven’t always known. I found out when word got out at the Resistance base that Ben had saved you. People talked about what had happened. About you two coming together as one. And of course, while I was there, Finn talked to me.” Maz and Rey exchange smiles. Finn. Of course. “So, I found out with many others. Others who will keep it within their own companies,” she assures her, “but it made sense once I found out. So…in these dreams you’ve been having...you see him?”

Rey nods quickly, “Yes, I do. I see him and he’s so real. But something always happens. I always wake up before I can really touch him, though. Before I can really even talk to him most of the time.” 

Maz takes another sip of her drink and then sets the glass down. Her eyes trail off. She looks haunted, as if she’s remembering something she wishes she could forget. I wonder if she's been through something—seen something, someone—go through something like this…in some way…and it didn’t turn out well.

The silence between them fills Rey with anxiety. She stands up, determined fists balled up at her sides. “Maz, I know I will find him," she says defensively, "I’ll find him wherever he is, and I’ll bring him home.” 

Maz nods, looking back to Rey and folding her arms. She leans back in her seat and replies, “Well then, I’m sure you will.” 

Rey’s tensed body falls, her fists releasing. “What?” 

“These dreams you’re having,” the old woman says as she looks fixedly on Rey, “They’re not really dreams. Ben is stuck. I believe he is in a place called the ‘World Between Worlds.’” 

The world around Rey is suddenly steeped in a thick fog, clogging her ears and mind. It’s hard to breathe. She can’t think or speak. It’s like her mouth is stuffed with cotton and an arrow is lodged in her chest. Maz is saying something, but she can’t hear it. Rey’s falling under water and trying to get out.

“Rey,” Maz says, reaching over the table to hold Rey’s hand, her whole tiny body on the surface. “It’s okay. Everything is okay.” The storm eases out of her. She calms enough to snap out of her fog.

She needs information. She needs to know what’s going on.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear you. What did you say?” Rey asks.

Maz sits up on the table, slides off, and walks over to Rey. She looks up at her with steady eyes. “You aren’t seeing him in dreams, Rey. You two are connecting through the Force, just like you did when you were both on this plane together—this dimension.” Excitement builds up Rey’s body, and this time the feeling is electric. “You are reaching out to each other— finding each other—throughout all of space and time. He's alive. He can be found between worlds.” 

Rey can’t stop the tears that are now spilling down her face. She is so relieved. For so long she’s been afraid, worried for Ben. Worried she’d never see him again. Worried she would have to raise this baby alone. But now there’s hope. Now she knows she can reach him. She just has to figure out how to do it when she’s awake.

She’s smiling so hard and shivering. Trembling. So relieved, so happy. She swears she can feel her baby do somersaults in her belly.

“So I can actually see him? Really, truly, in the flesh? Can I save him? Can I bring him back over to this side?”

Max lifts up her tiny hands and says, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don’t get too excited yet...”

Rey stops abruptly.

“What do you mean? I saw him. You said he’s alive—that I can save him.”

“I said he’s in the World Between Worlds and that you’re connected. I do think you can find him, but-”

“You said he can be found there, so I'll find him.” The passion in Rey’s eyes is undeniable. It’s clear to Maz that this fiery young woman will stop at nothing to find the father of her child. The other half of her soul. She will bring him home. "But I need your help. If you know anything, please, please tell me."

Maz smiles gently, like a grandmother happy for a beloved little child. “You have the capability of finding him, Rey, and he can be found...but I can’t help you.”

Rey’s face falls. “But what—what do I…”

The old friend reaches out and puts her hand on Rey’s knee. She looks up at her and says, “I can’t help you get there, but I think I know someone who can. You need to go to a woman by the name of Calyn.  She is an oracle. A seer. She had been around since the beginning of time. She can help you. You should go. Before it’s too late.”

“Too late?” Rey searches Maz’s face, which is growing uneasy. “Too late for what?”

Maz looks away, as if going back to that dream—that memory she was looking at before; the one with the unhappy ending—and says, “Before it’s too hard to find each other, and you get lost on your way.” She looks to Rey, “I don’t want him to fall deeper away from you, Rey. I’ve heard of it happening before. I’ve seen it...”

Rey wants to press her about this but decides it’s not a good idea. Not the kindest idea. Maz is giving her the information she needs. There’s no need to make her relive painful memories.

Maz smiles and says, “But you two,” she looks at Rey and then at Rey’s growing belly, “and your child...I have heard whispers of prophecies in the past. I’ve studied Dyads and heard much about them. I think your baby will be the answer to your coming together.”

The sweet little boy with curly hair like his father comes bubbling into Rey’s mind. She tries to feel him through her clothes, but she doesn’t of course. He’s too small. She hasn’t even felt him kick yet. But she knows he’s there. She smiles. “Really?” Tears burn in her eyes, tinting them a light pink.

Maz pats the young mom’s belly. “Yes, I believe so.” 

“Well what have you heard? How do you know?”

Maz shakes her hands and walks back over to her seat, now also shaking her head, “I don’t want to remember incorrectly and give you the wrong information. I’ll write down what I know, including the coordinates to Taru. This is where Calyn is. I want you to see her about the rest. She can help you.” 

Calyn. I almost forgot. That’s who I started searching for in the first place. The woman Luke told me about. The one he told me to find. Luke’s weathered face enters Rey’s mind. Sitting with her on Tatooine, at one of her lowest moments since Ben disappeared—not died, disappeared; Rey’s heart flips at this—he told her where to start. He gave her a name and a place. Now she has the missing piece to get her there.

“Luke…” she utters.

Maz smiles. “Luke knew about her too.”

The young Jedi lights up. I’m finally going to get answers. Everything is coming together. I finally know where to go. She can’t help but laugh giddily, tears falling down her face. She gets up and runs over to Maz, throwing her arms around her slight body. “Thank you,” Rey whispers with eyes tightly shut, tears squeezing their way through. “Thank you so much.”

She hugs back, placing her head against Rey’s, “Of course, child. Of course.”

“I’m going to get the Falcon ready,” Rey says, getting up and straightening her clothes, “I’ll get the droids. I’m feeling fine, so I don’t think I need any more medical attention. I just needed some good, unpackaged food. I’ll meet you at the Falcon when you’re ready.” She leans down to give Maz one last hug.

“Okay, I will meet you there,” she says as the two of them break from their hug. Before Rey turns to leave, she adds, “But be careful on your journey, child. Where there are strong fires, there will be those who seek to blow it out.”

 

Chapter Text

It’s her. Ben sees her image. It’s an outline. A shadow. But it’s her.

He runs, sliding and skidding as the rocks beneath him turn to ice.

Flashes of lightning pulse around him, circling the cave with blue and white lights. The air is somehow both ice cold against his skin and hot against his face. He doesn’t care, though. From deep within himself, Ben feels the gap between them wane. I read something about this. This feeling…

He lets the thought slide away from him as he approaches her. He’s so close to her now. Her image is solidifying in the wall in front of him. It’s the end of the cave. An ice-like barrier. Maybe this is the entrance between worlds. His heart launches up to his throat, excitement brewing inside him. This is it. This is where we meet.

A smile spreads across his face as he makes the final skid to the slick barrier at the end of the cave.

Rey’s face materializes through the foggy, glass-like wall. Ben shivers with excitement as he lifts a hand to touch the only thing standing in the way of them being together. Before he does, though, he sees her. Rey. She’s crystal clear, and absolutely beautiful.

His smile fades as something hits him. His stomach sinks to his feet and horror washes over him like hot water being poured down his body. This isn’t right.

He’s seen her like this before. He saw her on this day before. He could never forget that day.

The Rey standing in front of him has wet hair dripping down to her shoulders and is wearing sopping wet clothes covered in muck.

This is her the day we touched hands…when she was on Ahch-To. Right before she came to me on Snoke’s star destroyer. This was her when we first truly connected. When we knew we were the answers to each other’s missing puzzle. When we realized we were connected…

“This is you on the day you changed my life forever…” he whispers, watching as her brows furrow, her hand laid flat on the ice in front of her. She can’t see him.

This must have been what had happened before she came to him. This is why she was confused. Why she came to him in her hut. She was so hurt and lost, so she went to see him. She wanted answers, but she couldn’t find them on that island. She couldn’t find them on her own.

You came to me, and I opened up to you in return…

He puts his hand on the ice, placing it gently against hers, lining up their fingers so he could see her hand warm inside his. “You were the first person to make me feel like I wasn’t alone.” He leans forward to be closer to her, never letting go of her gaze, his heart breaking as he stares into her eyes. “We touched for the first time that day, and you made me feel something I’d never felt before.”

Her face falls and she lets her hand drop from the ice. She turns around and disappears. Ben’s hand stays glued to the barrier, unwilling to drop and accept another defeat. Refusing to move forward and accept that he failed to truly touch her yet again. He was so close this time.

“You filled me with love and desire. With light and longing,” Ben says, calling out to her as she turns to leave. “You gave me a reason to keep going. You showed me that I could be loved after all. After everything, I could still be loved.”

His outstretched hand balls up into a fist, his nails digging into his skin and his forearm lying against the cool surface in front of him. His head drops, and his body slowly follows as he crumbles down into a pool of anguish. His shoulders shake and he lets out loud sobs. His body floods with sorrow. With anger and confusion. With frustration and the twinge of lost hope.

Why do I feel so close to her? Why do I feel like the space between us is getting thinner? How do I find her in the right timeline? In our true timeline?

Ben sniffs hard and swallows down tears. Still shaking, he says to himself, “I can’t give up. I can’t lose hope now…I’m so close…It’s just…how do I do this? This is so confusing…”

He sees Rey in his mind. Her eyes looking right at him through the frosty barrier. She saw him. She saw him back then but couldn’t make out that it was him. She saw him, but didn’t know it was him. Yet, he was able to find her. Ben sits against the barrier, playing the images and visions he’s had of her over and over in his mind. On Tattooine. On that dream-like planet. On Ahch-To. These were all different times and places. They could find each other throughout all space and time.

Ben gasps, a sharp pain jolting through him. “That’s it.”

That book. A frenzy of thoughts and memories rush through Ben’s mind. He’s brought back to when he searched different worlds to find what he was looking for. When he was “alive” and before he turned to the light. After he knew the truth about his connection to Rey, he gathered books to study about Force Dyads. “Something in that book…it talked about this.” He concentrates, trying to remember everything in those pages.

He remembers the blood red color of the exterior and the tiny writings penciled inside. He remembers the dark room, where he hid away from Storm Troopers and officers, huddled in silent darkness with this book and two or three others. He searched and searched. He needed to know everything he could about his connection with Rey—about every possible power they may hold. About any information they may need to understand their bond. He’s glad he did that now. He just wishes he could remember it all.

“I remember,” he mutters, frustrated and deep in concentration, his eyes squeezed shut as his mind searches every crevice, every thought. “I remember something about us being connected through something. Not just the Force. Something inside. Something only we shared. If we were the chosen Dyad. If that’s us…” which I think it is… I know it is. It’s us. I know it. Then, as if coming to him from one of those enigmatic screens in the sky, Ben remembers. He sees it all like it’s happening right in front of him now. The memory. In that room on that day. He remembers that piece of information that’s stayed stuck into a back corner of his mind, biting at him until he remembered it was there.

Just for a small moment in time, he closes his eyes and sees it in his mind, and it’s like he’s there again:

He’s in the dark corner of a closet near his quarters. He’s encased in darkness so nobody finds him, but has enough light streaming in through the vents in the door that he can read the books beside and in front of him.

The String of Destiny,” he reads almost silently, in awe, “They will follow the string of destiny until their two ends meet. Then together, they will tie a bow around their fates forever…” Ben closes the book and places his palm on its cover. He stares at it, thinking of the powerful words it gave him, feeling the letters engraved in a language so ancient that only few know its origin. “A String of Destiny,” he repeats, “to that Dyad in the Force.”

His brows knit together as something pulls at him. He opens the book again and glides through the pages. He saw something else written there about the “string,” but what was it…He continues flipping through the book until he finds the spot he was at before. He follows his finger down the page. “Ah. Here it is. He leans closer down and reads, “Their destinies are one, but when balance shall finally be fixed in the Force, when the two truly become one, there will be another…someone to aid in this journey, woven within the string itself. A beacon pulling the two ends together, gather it at both ends.” Ben frowns. Someone will help us? Someone woven in our string…what could that mean? Who could that possibly be?

His eyes open now, and he’s back in this cave between worlds. That memory…so recent, but so far from where I am now it’s hard to believe I was the same person. The same person who searched those texts for every scrap of information. For every note of what could be a prophecy about Rey and me…

Ben’s back adjusts against the slick cave wall. It’s rough and awkwardly grooved, but his back fits against it well enough. He looks down and brushes a hand against his stomach, realizing that he hasn’t been hungry since he woke up here, however many days or weeks ago that was. He gathers the cloth of the shirt he’s wearing, not really caring how he came to be wearing it. He holds it in a knot at his chest.

“Do we have that string inside us? Are we knotted at each end?” Ben keeps his fist balled up tight. “How do I follow it to her? How do I get this string wrapped around us so we never part again? So we fulfill our destiny…” he remembers something else…in another book. “We will bring balance to the Force…” he says, remembering the note that hit him like a thousand punches to the gut. “We will be the ones to do it…but how? How can we do that unless we’re together? And who is going to help us? Who’s woven in our destiny? That doesn’t make any sense. We’re a Dyad. There’s only two of us. Who could be woven through our destinies like that?”

Ben lets go of his shirt and gets to his feet. He stretches his body and clears his mind. I know I’ll find her. I can feel her closer each second. He closes his eyes again, this time taking deep, even breaths, remembering that the only way he can feel close to Rey is through focus and effort. Through meditation and concentration. He must be calm and feel out to her in a pure connection—a clear line of communication between only the two of them—to be sensitive enough to feel her throughout the universes and worlds between them.

He feels out and instantly thumps against something in his mind. His eyes open. He hears the thump again. And then again. A heartbeat. He looks around and he’s still in the cave. He looks at where he came. The dark mouth of the cave gapes open at him, eerie and ominous. Ben hears it again. Louder this time. He looks into the darkness and takes a step forward.

It’s coming from the other side.  

 

Chapter 10: Chapter Ten

Chapter Text

 

The air is so warm and sweet that it’s almost soft to the touch. Rey’s eyes flutter open. She’s not on the Falcon. Blinking a few more times, Rey sits up and looks around. She’s outside somewhere, in a place where the sky is bright and the sun is large and warm beside her. She doesn’t feel hot, though. She’s nestled in soft white sand, and the ocean beside her is keeping her cool.

Ocean? Rey stands up and takes in her surroundings in awe. It’s like nothing she’s ever seen before—just things she’s heard about or dreamed about while listening to stories. Sea salt and sunlight. Sand that isn’t white hot as it cups your sinking feet. A cool breeze making the warmth not only bearable but unbelievably enchanting.

What is this place?

Strands of Rey’s hair brush lightly against her cheek bones as she looks out onto the sea. Something stirs in her. A familiar feeling that makes her insides flutter and brings life to her eyes. He’s here. I can feel it.

She turns to look behind her when it hits her. It’s happening. I’m dreaming again. Panic floods her. Worried she’ll wake up, Rey desperately tries to stay anchored in place. Stubbornly willing herself to stay, she plants her feet deeper in the sand below and squeezes her eyes shut. Her mind focuses on the task at hand as her fingers curl up into fists at her side. Awaiting the moment where she starts feeling herself slip away, Rey’s fists clench tighter and tighter.

But nothing happens.

She lets out a loud gasp, as if she’d deep underwater and coming up for air, and opens her eyes. She’s still here. Still glued to this world, for whatever reason. She doesn’t understand. Her brows furrow as she examines the captivating world she finds herself in. It feels so real, yet so far away. It’s like she’s been plucked from her world or dimension and planted in a storybook—a tale told only to her and imagined in her mind. She’s walked into a field of words, of images she can see and feel but aren’t quite real.

Suddenly, something tugs on her arm. Rey turns but sees nothing but the landscape. She places her fingers on her bicep, covering the phantom mark of whatever had touched her, searching the vibrant grass not-so-distantly swaying against the edge of the rocky sandbar.

Nothing. No one.

She rubs her arm and stares into the blue horizon. It felt like someone grabbed her. To keep her where she is maybe? To keep her in this place—where the sand is both warm and cool and curls around her feet before getting washed in the water. Where she can feel Ben existing on the same plane as her. A place she can actually reach him.

This dreamy fairy tale isn’t how Rey would like to reach Ben, but she is starving for his presence. She doesn’t care how she sees him right now. She longs to see him in any way she can. Every day she longs for that. Not a moment goes by where she doesn’t ache for him.

She looks around, searching for him, the breeze teasing her hair. She knows he’s here. She’s not dreaming. That’s clear to her now. She can’t even wake herself up, not that she wants to. She just discovered she can’t slip away like she can in sleep.

I realized I was here, but I didn’t wake up. I’m still here, as solid as I can be…

Maz told her these weren’t dreams—these places and times they met within. Maybe the rules are different. Maybe she can’t wake up like she would in a dream, after realizing where she is. Maybe she has no control over when the dream comes to an end. The thought makes Rey shudder. She isn’t sure how she feels about that truth, but it doesn’t sit well in her stomach.

She looks to her right and smiles at the vastness of the sea. At the way the waves ripple calmly, at the tiny winged creatures squealing in glee as they fly into the setting sun. The sun on this planet was large and inviting, the color of a raspberry and so close it looked like it may collide into the sea. How is this planet not melting? How is any of this possible?

Something whistles in the air as another big breeze washes over Rey, dancing around her body and tugging at her skirt like a toddler wanting to dance with her mom. A dress? Rey was so swept up in the world around her she didn’t realize her attire. She’s wearing a soft white dress that feels like air and looks like a flower pedal. It’s beautiful. She touches it, runs her hands along the sides, and revels in its silky texture. As she’s looking at its hem, she notices the tide creeping closer to her ankles. The azure water spills over her feet and kisses her legs. It rushes against her for a moment and then disappears as quickly as it came. It leaves soggy sand in its wake.

An idea flickers to life inside her. Rey smiles and kneels down, placing her hand in the sand. She closes her eyes and stays still. Everything calms around her. Every noise. Every moment. She lets every thought drift away. All but one.

Him. She sees him in her mind’s eye, and she smiles even wider. The Force is strong inside her as she longs for him—feels for him. Reaching out through space and whatever else stands in their way to each other. Air drifts between her fingertips and grains of sand tumble softly around her.

“Be with me,” she says quietly. “Ben. Be with me.” Opening her eyes, Rey feels the connection to him still strong. Tremendous and breathtaking. She looks down and sees that the sand tumbled into the shape of an “O” around her hand.  Still smiling, she runs her finger along the grooves, changing it into the shape of a heart. She feels her cheeks flush. “Be with me,” she says once more as she looks down at her modified creation.

Then, she feels it. The strong sensation behind her. That someone is there. Someone found her. Her stomach somersaults giddily as she recognizes the waves in the air. It’s not just anybody. Her eyelashes flutter, dabbing tears away. Her smile is bright and pure, and she turns to see the man she so desperately yearns for.

“I did it,” Rey says in disbelief, her face wet with tears, “I found him.” She laughs and claps a hand to her forehead. “I can’t believe it. I reached out…and I actually found him.”

Ben is coming for her. She’s running. Racing. She can’t tell if he’s known she’s been here and has been waiting for her to pull him across a curtain of time to come to her or if she helped guide him here from wherever he was. Whatever the reason was, she didn’t care. She leapt up and raced toward him too. The two of them broke out in both tears and wide smiles. Rey isn’t sure how it’s possible, but Ben is even more vibrant than the beautiful world they are calling their own in this moment. He’s wearing colors matching her dress, but in loose pants and a tunic similar to the one she holds close to her each night, when she’s not wearing it.

Rey feels her nose scrunch up and her face grow red as tears spill faster down her face in a surge of emotion that lied even deeper than the ones she had been experiencing just moments before.

“Ben!” she yells to him. He yells something back, but she can’t hear. She doesn’t care. She just wants him. They run and run, and then he’s so close. She’s worried he won’t make it to her, because it’s too good to be true, but he does. Ben does. He makes it.

She cries as he grabs her, holding so tightly she can feel him breathe against her. She knows it’s him. It’s him.

“Ben,” she whispers. His lips press against her forehead. She smiles giddily and rubs her eyes. He grabs her hands gently and kisses them before looking deep into her eyes. She looks just as deeply back into his, ignoring everything else. He tangles his fingers in her hair, breathing in the sea salt that’s lingering on her skin. He mouths something. She still can’t hear him. She frowns. “Ben? Why can’t I hear you?” His face drops, matching hers. They both look at each other with hands clasped so tight, so desperate. They’re so confused at what’s going on but so terrified of it ending. Rey shakes her head. “Ben. I—Ben, there’s something I need to tell you.” Ben smiles. She can see him mouth ‘What is it?’ She smiles again. He can hear me.

She opens her mouth, but then it happens. The sky grows dark and stormy. Her whole body drops. “No! NO!” she screams. “This can’t happen!” She looks to Ben, who’s still holding onto her desperately. His eyes are welling up with tears and he’s mouthing her name. He places one hand on her cheek, the other still holding onto her as hard as he can without hurting her.

“Ben,” she says again, crying into his palm. “I have to tell you. I’m—” The world around them shakes. The waves roar and Ben becomes harder to see. He looks to her yearningly and devastated, yet something in his eyes reflect that he knows this isn’t the end.

Rey shakes her head and refuses to let go of him. He holds her hand as he drifts away, looking at her with the kind of smile she both dreams about and has haunted her since his disappearance. He lets go and she watches him fade away. Her hand drops to her side, and her heart sinks along with it. She wails silently as everything around her turns to black.

The beautiful scenery that warmed every part of her disappears. Even though this is the hardest one yet, Rey isn’t surprised by these departures anymore. It’s frustrating, yes, but she now holds onto the firm belief that she will see Ben again. It’s the only thing keeping her from collapsing entirely.

Her eyes grow tired and her body aches. She slowly falls down into the engulfing abyss in a dizzy whirl of exhaustion. Darkness covers her eyes, and the next thing Rey sees is the ceiling in the Millennium Falcon. She’s back in reality. She sits up and notices Ben’s shirt bunched up beside her in a comforting ball. She must have been holding it in her sleep. She picks it up and holds it to her face, breathing in and out and closing her eyes to remember every bit of the dream—vision, or whatever it was.

She sees Ben’s smile on the beach. His eyes as he watched her and held her hands close to his chest, the way he curled his fingers in her hair. The way he held her and looked deep into her eyes. She smiles slightly, but her stomach churns at something she wishes she could ignore. She lowers her hands and Ben’s shirt to her lap and stares at the ground listlessly, coming to terms with what she’s known all along.

It’s not the same. I couldn’t even hear him.

The feeling of being able to see Ben in those dreams is intoxicating, but it’s not the same as when they’re together—really, truly together. When they’re together in the flesh, she can feel so much more. In these dreams, she can feel him through her senses and touch him, but the sensation on her fingers is almost artificial. She can’t process the feelings like she can when he’s with her. The nerves in her fingers and dimples in her arms and legs don’t feel things like they do in real life. It’s like touching a soft wall. The tragic truth is that she still won’t be whole until she can be with him in the flesh. They’re still not together the way they’re meant to be until they’re reunited in real life. When she can feel every sensation of him on her skin. When he can take her and scoop her up and they can feel each other’s tears on their fingertips and on their cheeks as they kiss away each other’s pain.

Her heart aches, longing for the day when they can hold each other warmly and never be apart again.

That day will come. I’m sure of it.

BB-8 comes rolling in, peeling Rey away from her thoughts. She smiles, her eyes still dreamy. “BB-8. How are you?” He spits out a sequence of beeps at her. She frowns. “What?” she says, worry prickling her skin and tightening her chest. A great boom fills the air and shakes Rey on her bed. She stands up, places Ben’s shirt beneath her pillow, and turns to race down the corridors leading to the cockpit. Dodging the ground and falling supplies as the Falcon tilts and rumbles, Rey hurries down the Falcon in a daze. It almost feels like she isn’t fully in her body as she makes her way from one passageway to the next. As if she’s watching herself while awake, but still within herself—just a couple seconds behind.

She finally makes it to the cockpit where her face suddenly gapes in horror as she watches IQ-39 madly pulling levers and twisting the steering controls so hard Rey is worried it might break off.

“What’s going on?” she shrieks.

IQ-39 continues moving at a rapid pace as his calm, mechanical voice replies, “We are being attacked. Enemy ships are around us. We are going down. I am trying to land us on the planet below.” Rey’s eyes are almost as wide open as her mouth as she lunges forward and peers at the world below. Its tan, cracked appearance looks putrid from up on the Falcon, but Rey closes her mouth in resignation as she looks up at the enemy cannons twisting toward them in what look like crude TIE fighters. Her eyes narrow. “Who are those people? I thought all the Sith and First Order followers were gone….” The Falcon shakes madly. Rey loses her balance and falls to the floor, scraping her arm on a hook jutting out of the control pad to her right.

She grabs hold of something before hitting the ground and pulls herself to her feet. She watches as beams crash down at them, causing the Millennium Falcon to shake uncontrollably. Her swollen stomach aches, and she places a hand on it protectively, her other hand firmly clasped onto an immovable piece of the Falcon.  

“We are going down,” IQ-39 says blankly, “The next destination is Geonosis. This is where we must land. We have a 12% chance of survival.”

Terror rips into Rey like shattering glass. Sweat pills on her forehead and cramps pull at her stomach. She closes her eyes and focuses on her baby. Stay with me, baby. Stay with me. It’s okay. We’ll be okay. We’ll be okay. Stay with me. Just stay—

A piercing chorus of alarms goes off, and lights burst through the cockpit as more blasts from the ships barricade into theirs.

“We must exit this vehicle,” the droid says in the same emotionless tone.

“We can’t!” Rey screams. BB-8 lets out a stream of angry beeps and whistles.

One more blast hits them and it feels like a thousand blazing suns pouring lava down Rey’s back. She screams as the sensation of falling pulls inside her as they drop down to the rocky planet below.

Chapter Text

 

Rey coughs through a cloud of dust. She looks at her hand and watches bloodshot dirt sift through her fingers and down to the ground below. The rocks embedded down her back are far from comfortable, and she has some scrapes and cuts down her arms and legs, but Rey's just relieved that the Falcon was able to skid to the surface of Geonosis without exploding entirely. The back hatch spit them out like a bitter, chewed-up tanulberry before any major damage could be done to any of them.

Still, it wasn't fun.

Rey groans and slowly gets to her feet, holding her lower back to steady herself. “How did this even happen?” she grumbles as she brushes off the back of her legs, dislodging the rocks embedded in her backside. She is dusting off the ruddy sand from her torso and legs when she realizes how big her stomach has gotten. "Was I this big yesterday?"

Beeps tumble out of BB-8 as he rolls towards her. “Oh, BB-8!” Rey says sadly as the droid bumps along with dents in his outer plates and smears of red dirt across his head and body. “You can’t catch a break…” BB-8 continues his beeps and squeals, overriding Rey’s concern for his physical state. Rey’s eyebrows lift. She whips around to see the Falcon burning in all-too-familiar flames bursting out the back. Her shoulders drop. “You have got to be kidding me.”

She had rolled onto the red dirt and rocks below them, rolling faster and faster until finally hitting a bag of something somewhat soft but mostly stiff. She shielded her belly and kept the connection with her little one to give him protection during the fall. Now on the ground, Rey feels inside herself to make sure he’s all right. He. I know he’s a boy. How do I know that? Rey can’t help but smile as she rubs her tummy and smooths out the tiny wrinkles in her tightening white shirt. Her eyes grow wide. Something just happened. A quiver beneath her palm. She stares at her belly and feels it again. Is that…?

She smiles wide and laughs, holding her stomach and feeling her baby flip in glee. “You’re welcome,” see whispers to him through her smile, “I’m here. You’re safe with me.” She felt a distinct flutter inside. It wasn’t a kick on her hands or anything, but she felt it—movement. Her baby is okay.

She looks up to face this new planet, this new moment, feeling on top of the world. But when she starts moving forward, BB-8 rolling slowly by her side, her elation quickly disappears. Her footsteps slow and then stop entirely as she sees the planet more fully, and the realization of her situation falls darkly around her. The planet is desolate and dry. There are a few people here and there, and what looks to be a shop is a little ways out, tucked in what looks like a little patch of shade against a tall pile of rocks. There’s nothing here. Rey makes eye contact with a hunched woman walking by with a white cowl draped over her head. “Hello,” Rey says with a dimpled smile. The woman stops, cranes her head to see who spoke to her, crinkles her nose as if smelling something putrid, scoffs, and then keeps snailing forward as if Rey was just a pile of trash waiting to be put out.

Rey feels everything inside her drop, from the shadow of her smile to her weakening legs. It’s not going to be easy getting out of this place.

“Miss Rey,” a mechanical voice comes from behind her. She turns around and sees IQ-39 hobbling over with his hands in the air. “Where are you going?”

Guilt pills up inside Rey’s stomach. “Oh, IQ-39, I’m so sorry. I completely forgot to check on you. I guess I felt that you were okay, and I was so distracted with—”

“Never mind that!” the droid interjects. Rey closes her mouth and lets the droid continue, although the guilt in her stomach is still strong. “We are in desperate need of a sublight engine piece, multiple shield protection pieces, and many other vital parts for the ship. We need to get those immediately, and we must put out the fire.”

She’ll have to figure out how to make it up to IQ-39 later. Right now, they have to figure out what to do about the Falcon. “Okay,” she says, “You and BB-8 should start working on the fire. Maybe start with the dirt, and—”

“We need you to help us with the dirt, Rey. You will be able to move it much more quickly and efficiently than the two of us." The droid makes a fair point. Rey nods and quickly moves back towards the Falcon.

When they get there, she moves to the back and readies herself to take care of the fire. She closes her eyes and focuses on the dirt around them. She lets herself be one with the ground and the elements, slowly letting the Force give her strength, energy, and the ability to move one thing to the next.

She opens her eyes and sees herself lifting a curtain of dirt from the ground up towards the sky. It hangs above the Falcon, ready to dive. She moves her hands gracefully, rushing the ruddy wave down onto the ship. It crackles and hums as every ounce of dirt and every rock encases the smoking ship. She does this over and over again, increasing in energy and ability with each stroke. Why is this coming so easily? I feel stronger than before…I thought pregnancy was supposed to make me more tired. I feel great. She continues the process until the fire is put out, and then happily claps her hands up and down to remove the dirt that barely dusted her hands from the ebbing and flowing from the Force. I’m not even nauseous anymore.

“Well done!” IQ-39 says with a static-y sigh of relief. Rey looks to the droid and gives him a hug. “I’m really sorry I didn’t check on you. I don’t know why…” Suddenly, she bursts into tears. She doesn’t know why. She knows it wasn’t the best thing to do to think more of the mission and immediate need to get things figured out before checking on the droid, but this seemed like a little much. “I’m sorry.”

After a few moments, Rey stands up, sniffing and wiping her nose and under her eyes with the hanging white sash from her shirt. Her cheeks grow red. “I know that was a little much. I’m sorry for that too.”

BB-8 beeps up at her teasingly, which just makes her smile.

“It’s quite all right,” IQ-39 says, unsure of how to handle such an odd human encounter. “I think you had the right idea. We were all fine, and we need to find a place to get food and parts.”

Rey’s eyes grow wide. “What? Did something happen to the food?”

“No, but from the state of the ship, it looks to be an issue of quantity at this point. We may be here for a while.”

“We can’t be!” Rey says, tears brewing again, “We don’t have time for that! What parts do we need? I’m sure we can figure out how to fix the Falcon.”

“We need sublight engine parts, a new Isu-Sim SSP06 hyperdrive system, deflector shield projectors, and many deflector shield pieces.”

“Is there any way we can get those in other ways? Can we make them somehow?” Rey asks, her face dirty and her stomach twisting tighter by the second.

The droid looks down. “I have been specialized as a pilot and in machinery. However, I cannot make something out of nothing. We must see what we can find, and then we can see what can be done.”

Rey nods, blinking away the tiny beginnings of tears. Swallowing, she looks back up at the droid, and then down to BB-8. “Okay,” she says, “Let’s get going then. We should find a town, or maybe go to the shop out past those tents.” She points over at the pile of rocks with the somewhat large building made out of stone and metal pressed up against it.

IQ-39 nods and BB-8 spits out a beep. They’re all in agreement.

The droids follow Rey as she moves forward towards the shop. Her strides are wide and fast as she speeds to the shop. She looks around her the whole way, hoping to find friendly locals to help her so she can get out of here as soon as she can.

The walk takes forever and the sun is boiling hot. The shop isn’t even as close as it seemed to be. Beads of sweat are forming at Rey’s hairline and her lungs are struggling to keep up with her strides. She slows down a bit and squints towards the horizon on her right. Still nothing. Nothing. Nothing but red dirt, rock, sand, and a local here and there. Geonosis. Rey had heard of the planet before, mostly from people on Jakku, but also when she learned about everything that went on here in the times of Vader and the Empire. Sorrow pricks at her chest when she remembers the genocide that went on here. What Vader and the Empire did. All of the true locals are dead now… Rey thinks as she passes by a woman with an animal, tugging at it to steer away from the strange human girl, at least as far as I know anyway.

When Rey learned of all the stories of Geonosis, she pictured a place much more…inhabitable than this. Here, with the deep red sand and scorching sun, Rey wonders if she’ll ever get to be stranded on a planet that hugs her with humidity and capes her in leaves. The heat here rivals the blazing temperature of Rey’s home planet. She holds a hand up to her face, shielding the sun from her eyes. The intensifying warmth instantly bleeds onto the top of her hand and soaks into her dark hair. “Just our luck to be in a place like this, huh, BB-8?” The droid beeps up at her, as if to say, “I know, right.” He then continues his chirruping and Rey understands completely.

“Yeah, if only…if only we could find a place with more water and less heat. A place more…” Rey trails off. The memory of the dream she had only a few hours ago instantly sweeps her up into a place that is nothing like Geonosis. Her mind clings to the beach. To the grass at the edge of the sand, where Ben came running towards her. Where she felt the warmth of his embrace, and his fingers in her hair, as the sea washed away the pain of their looming separation, and of the fact that they haven’t been truly together in such a long time. Nothing mattered in those moments in that oasis. She felt nothing but peace. All that mattered was them.

“Ben,” Rey whispers as she smiles, her eyes still closed and her lungs breathing evenly again. She swears she can smell the salt in the air.

“What do you want?” A gruff voice interrupts her dreaming. She opens her eyes and sees a man the size of Chewy, but far less friendly and with far less hair. He looks like a warthog with a broken tusk and murky green skin.

Rey groggily comes out of her daze, reorienting herself into the real world. The thought of Chewy makes her homesick, but she shakes him out of her head and continues to anchor back down to reality.  “Um...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say anything. But…” She realizes she had stopped walking at some point. She wipes the back of her hand across her head and laughs awkwardly. “Um, do you know where I can find some parts for a ship? Mine made a pretty lousy landing, and I’m in desperate need of some parts.”

The creature made a throaty sound, like a cough stuck in his chest, and then he made another, much louder sound that was more like a bark, and then he let out a giant boom of hoarse laughter as Rey struggled to keep calm, despite the fierce anger and impatience boiling inside her. Something about the man reminds her of Unkar Plutt from back on Jakku, which makes her shudder and causes even more frustration to grow inside her.

Someone passes by behind him. An elderly human woman with skin like crinkled-up paper. Rey moves to see her more clearly and is about to say something when the woman drops her bag, rocks and pottery spilling out. Rey moves past the man and bends down to pick up the woman’s belongings.

“Don’t you come near me!” the woman croaks. She sinks to the ground and scowls at Rey as she quickly picks up her belongings, shoving them in her bag. She looks around suspiciously, as if hoping no one saw her revealed possessions, and hobbles away in a worse mood than before.

What happened here? What happened since those times I heard about? What happened since that horrific genocide all those decades ago?

A large hand clasps against Rey’s shoulder, grabbing her and whirling her around. Her shoulder aches beneath the man’s grasp as he squeezes her tighter and grabs her other one with his free hand. “How dare you turn your back to me when I was speaking to you!” The broken-husked creature snarls at her, shaking her as he speaks.

Rey scowls. “Get your hands off me.” She tries to shake free, but the man’s hold on her is stronger than she anticipated. She looks up at him with fury shooting out of her eyes like beams from a blaster. He smiles as drool drips from one side of his uneven mouth. She doesn’t let her gaze stray from his tiny, beady eyes until she closes her eyes and gathers the necessary strength to loosen herself from his grasp. She yells out and then shoots out her arms and releases herself from his grasp in one movement. She smiles at him as she jumps back triumphantly.

The man snarls and yells something in a language Rey doesn’t understand. Sweat is soaking through her clothes and the heat is intensifying above her. Her breaths get shallow as she drops to her knees. She holds up a hand to her chest and steadies her breaths. Suddenly, another pair of hands are on her from behind. They grab her wrists and tie them from behind, shackling her like an animal, or more accurately, a prisoner.

She yells out in pain as she’s forced to the ground. “What are you doing to me?” She growls up at the three men now eclipsing the sun and looming over her like ghastly shadows. Next to the gruff man Rey had already encountered are two new figures—insect-like creatures who don’t look too happy that someone used the Force on their friend.

“No one has used those powers here for a long time,” one of them says in a dialect she can understand.

The warthog man smiles down at Rey, watching as she struggles to steady her breaths while chained on the ground. “We don’t like Force users here,” he grunts, letting out another booming laugh.

“You’re coming with us,” the third creature says.

“BB-8! IQ-39! Are yo—”

The creatures grab her and hoist her up as one of them ties a cloth around her mouth. Rey coughs. Her heart beats at her chest like it’s trying to escape. Her breaths grow shallower by the second, and pain strikes through her chest like a lightning rod. Tears can’t even trail down her face because the creatures are holding her tight against one of their backs, directly up towards the blazing sun.

You won’t get away with this, she thinks, burning the thought into their minds. You don’t know who you’re dealing with.

She steadies herself and lets the world around her become still. Be with me, Ben, she calls out through the Force. Be—

Her heart nearly stops. The sounds around her fade away, and it’s as if every noise in the universe has fallen into a void somewhere, replacing her ears with cotton and stars. Warmth spreads through her chest and her breathing returns to normal.

He heard me.

He’s coming.

Chapter Text

 

It doesn’t take long for Rey to regain her strength. She can’t believe that she was taken by these three goons. She had defeated her grandfather, the most powerful ruler in the galaxy. Why was she too weak in that moment to defend herself and escape?

She knows the answer.

Lately, her strength and abilities have been going haywire. Sometimes she can do things with even more ease than before she got pregnant. Other times, she’s so weak she can barely walk.

Bile crawls up Rey’s throat and burns in her chest as the creature she’s strapped too purposely makes his strides less even and bumpier than necessary. Anger boils in her blood, but she has to stay calm.

Just a little bit longer…

Rey can’t look down without giving away that she’s regained the ability to break out of her bonds and escape. At this point, she doesn’t even want to escape. She’s actually relieved that these three are going to take her somewhere she can find answers on where to go, what to do, and where to find the parts she’s looking for. It saves her a lot of frantic wandering around the desert.

More time passes on her bumpy ride before Rey starts hearing noises from a distance. Her heart leaps. We’re almost somewhere with more inhabitants. They hit another bump, and the nausea returns. You’ll be sorry for this, she thinks as she slowly moves her hand up towards her restraints.

The noises turn to distinctive chatter and the clinking of dishes and grumbles of what Rey assumes to be workers, wherever she is. As they make it further into what seems to be a market, Rey can make out the people around her. Many of them look tired and worn out from living in such hot, dry conditions. She doesn’t see anyone around her age—they all look like they’re at least twenty to thirty years older than her, and all of them wear either a sullen or angry expression. Light cloth covers their heads and wraps around their bodies, just like the women Rey saw earlier. There aren’t nearly as many people as she’d guessed there were from the noise, but there are enough that Rey’s sure that there will be at least one person who can help her.

The sun leaves Rey’s eyes as they four enter a compact building made of stone. Without the sun’s direct heat, the temperature immediately cools down, and Rey silently sighs in relief. They pass a few different people, who are dressed differently than the ones outside, with makeshift armor of rods and dented metal, and enter a room that is well lit with candles and stocked to the rafters with food and ornaments of every kind. There are cloth curtains covering the walls, despite the fact that there are no windows anywhere in sight, at least as far as Rey can tell from her angle. They’re adorned with gold embellishments and have a crest of some sort beaded in the middle. They must be banners. Rey moves her eyes to the other side and catches sight of a table with delectable treats, freshly made and divinely scented. The sight of fruit and freshly baked goods makes Rey’s mouth water beneath the cloth that restrains her.

The man carrying her shrugs her off and drops her to the ground. She makes a pained sound as she hits the floor on her side. Every time she gets hurt, her mind immediately turns to the baby. Anxiety fuels her to ensure he’s okay. She has gone through a lot and is sure this isn’t the end, so she desperately hopes that the Force inside her, and Ben’s help, will keep the baby well and alive.

Still on her side, Rey stares off and thinks of Ben. Of how she felt him. How she knows he’s coming. How is that possible?

“Get to your feet, Jedi scum,” one of the insect creatures growls as he whips Rey up and then kicks her to her knees. She glares at the creature before shifting her eyes to the one before her. She must be the leader. She looks a lot like the insects who carried her here, but much larger in stature yet a slighter, more polished face. Her eyes tip up more than her counterparts, and she wears a lavish gown of silver silk and sapphires. Rey’s seen nothing like it before.

“You may untie her,” she says airily, as if bored and wanting to quickly get on with it. However, something in the way she looks at Rey tells the young Jedi that this leader is far from disinterested in their meeting. The two insects bow and do as they’re told. One of them unties her hands and the other takes the cloth from her mouth. Rey winces as she licks the sides of her mouth in an attempt to balm her chapped lips and rolls her wrists a few times. She looks behind her and notices that the warthog creature must have left a while ago, leaving her only with this strange leader and her subjects, as well as two others on either side of her throne, presumably guards.

Rey studies the queen, sitting comfortably on a throne of cool stone. Just like her dress, it’s adorned with jewels. How much does all this cost? What could be done on this planet with the money spent on this leader’s luxuries? Rey stands up and eyes the leader with disgust. She bites her tongue. I have to stay calm. I’m a visitor here, and I have nowhere to go and no means to leave. I have to play my part. For Ben.

Rey’s face softens as she kneels again, before she can be told to and hit once more. Bowing, she says, “My name is Rey. I’m a scavenger from Jakku. I am carrying a child and have nowhere to go. I beg you to help me in my plight.” She swallows, still bowing, and anxiously waits for the leader’s reply. A few moments pass in silence, and all Rey can hear is the rapid beating of her heart against her chest.

Finally, the queen speaks, “You have caused quite a ruckus, Rey of Jakku.” Rey looks up and meets the leader’s gaze. “I have been told you’ve used forbidden powers on my planet.” She glowers down at Rey. “I am Yuflora, the queen of Geonosis. I’ve fought to protect my people for generations, ever since the genocide of our people.” She points a skinny leg at the wall, at an area Rey was unable to see when chained. It was like the other red banners in the room, but it had pictures and symbols on it, telling a story. “I was able to survive, with a handful of others.” She looks off distantly, pained with cruel memories. She sits back up authoritatively and looks Rey in the eye, “It’s taken me many years to build up what I have. It may not look like much to you, but we’ve been building from the ground up, and I will not have another Force user destroy what I’ve spent my whole life creating.”

Rey feels a familiar sting of loss at Yuflora’s words. Flashes of her parents leaving, of Ben dying, and of her feelings of loneliness come spilling into her. She stands up slowly, cautiously, her hands up to show she isn’t armed, which she isn’t. She winces. My saber’s back in the Falcon. How could I be so stupid? She opens her eyes and looks steadily at the queen, whose guards point spears tentatively at Rey. She pushes her hands down slightly, showing them she truly isn’t armed.

“I’m not here to threaten you or your people. I’m not here to ruin anything,” Rey says, slowly putting her hands to her side and standing up all the way. “I crash landed here and just need parts for my ship. Then I will be on my way.” The guards stay positioned to attack, and the queen laughs mockingly as she leans down closer to Rey.

“Do you really expect me to give you our resources?” the queen sneers. “We have worked excruciatingly for what we have. We do not give handouts away here.” She laughs again and sits back on her throne. Rey eyes the jewels twinkling around Yuflora, anger rising inside her. How can you say that when this room alone could feed your people and provide them with better living conditions?

Again, Rey bites her tongue. “I mean no disrespect,” she says. Yuflora stops laughing and glowers down at Rey. “I just need help. Please. Please. I beg you. I have to get to the father of my child, and he’s in great danger. Please. I will do whatever I can to help you and work for it. I just need to fix my ship as quickly as possible.” She bows again, her heart still racing.

Silence fills the air. Rey’s knees slowly fall into the dirt. Her stomach twinges with hunger, and flutters from her baby moving around tickle her from the inside.

The queen lets out a long sigh. “Well,” she says, finally, “We do always need help.” Rey’s heart soars. She snaps up and says, “Thank you. Thank you! I just need some parts. I could help work on some of your machinery. I just need to find parts for my ship’s defense systems and engine, and I need—”

“You,” the queen interrupts, laughing slightly with irritation, “You don’t get to decide what you do. You don’t get to get off so easily and expect we give you resources. You have to work hard on my terms. You need to help us with what we need before you get anything in return.”

Rey’s face twists in distress. “No, you don’t understand. I have to get to—”

The father of your child,” the queen finishes mockingly, “I know. But that is no concern of mine. I can only offer you a job and let you work for what you need.” Tears burn Rey’s eyes. Ben. No, I can’t wait that long.

“I have to get to him!” she cries, “You don’t understand. Truly. You need to. Please. I need to get to him. He’s in danger.”

The queen waves her skinny leg at Rey as she turns her face away, as if to say she’s done hearing what Rey has to say. “I have done my part. Uutatu and Yalin, take her to Alor and give her instructions on what to do with the girl. I’ll have someone follow with further instructions.” The two insect creatures, who Rey now knows to be Geonosians, each grab her by one arm and usher her forcibly out of the room.

“Please!" Rey calls out behind her. "I need to get out of here as soon as possible!”

One of the Geonosians hits Rey on the back of the head. “You heard Madame Yuflora. You get a job. Be grateful she showed you such mercy.” Rey looks down and keeps calm. Ben is coming, she reminds herself. He’s coming, and we will figure out what to do. We’ll figure out how to save him. I just feel…I have a feeling it’s important to get to him before the baby is born…I’m not quite sure why.  

Uutatu and Yalin escort Rey into a hut nearby, if it can even be called that. It’s a shack with a straw roof, mismatched blocks of stone barely pieced together properly, with holes broken into areas where the stone didn’t align properly. A counter is out front and pieces of wood and metal are stacked inside. A woman who looks to be somewhere in her sixties walks out from within the open hut, an oil-soaked cloth in one hand and a broken compressor piece in the other. “Can I help you?” she asks, eyeing Rey warily.

“Yuflora has instructed you to give this woman a job. She has to earn money for parts for her ship,” one of the men says.

The woman raises her eyebrows and shakes her head. “I don’t know. That’s…I mean, of course I will. It’s an order from the queen, but…” she looks to Rey, “I don’t know how you’re going to do that. We hardly have any parts here to begin with.” Rey tastes something sour in her mouth, her face growing cold and light.

She swallows. “Well, I scavenged on Jakku my entire life. I’m sure I can manage. I just need to work for them.” Her confidence is evident in her gaze. The woman nods.

Smiling, the old woman holds a hand out to Rey and says, “Well, come in, dear. I’ll show you around, and we’ll do what we can. My name is Alor. And you are?”

“Rey,” she says, her shoulders relaxing, “And thank you.” She grabs Alor’s hand and follows her into the hut, past the wooden slab that’s being used as a counter, presumably for when there are trade deals going on for the woman’s business. Rey looks around and sees all kinds of broken parts, from a variety of materials—polished wooden block, tubes and droid parts, and metal engine pieces. None seem to be anything that could be sold or used, but it’s a start.

“I’ll show you to where you will be sleeping,” Alor says, still holding Rey’s hand. Rey nods and smiles, her heart growing warm. The woman reminds her of the woman who helped her on Tatooine, and even though things may not be going smoothly, she knows they could be a lot worse.

“Thank you,” she says as Alor stops at a wooden door and takes out keys from her pocket, her hands shaking slightly. “For everything.”

The woman stops and looks at Rey. Her wrinkled face pinches into a smile that makes her eyes close and camouflage into the wrinkles around them. “Of course. Now, once you’re settled, I want to hear all about how you got here and where you are going.”

Alor sticks a key into the door and pushes it open.

“Okay,” Rey says, passing the woman into the room, “but it’s a long story.”

 

Chapter Text

 

 

The booming from the cave grows louder with each step Ben takes. He puts one foot down. Then the other. His heart is pounding and the booming turns into a growling hiss like a steaming wave from some ocean from the underworld.

After creeping slowly along for a few seconds more, Ben stops. What am I doing? Enough of this. Ben runs forward, using only his desire for Rey to fuel him to go faster. The longer the waits, the farther away they may become. He has nothing to lose. He just needs to get out of here.

He sprints almost as quickly as he did on Exogal when he needed to save Rey from her grandfather. Almost.

The mouth of the cave is ominous, and as Ben flies through it, his ears fill with disconcerting sounds. Hisses and cries. People talking, stressed and desperate. Moaning. Crying. Screaming.

Instead of escaping to a neutral ground on the other side, Ben is instantly pitched into a blanket of darkness. A black smog, hungry and alive. It grabs him and holds, pulling his limbs together so he rolls up in a ball. He screams and uses all his strength to break free from whatever is trying to bind him.

Gathering the Force in every corner of his body, he bursts out freely, his arms and legs retracting back to his own free will. He jumps through the blackness and falls through the other end.

He lands shakily on his feet and finds himself on the other side of the cave. He swivels behind himself to check his surroundings.

Nothing.

The voices are gone. The sounds. The black smog…

Ben’s eyebrows pull together, and his eyes narrow beneath them. “What is going on…” He walks around in what he now has deemed The Void, where only blackness and small specks of what seem to be stars and planets, out too far to reach, inhabit his surroundings. Back where he started when he first woke up. Kind of…

“Something’s here…” Ben whispers to himself, impulsively reaching down to catch hold of his lightsaber, only to remember that he doesn’t have it with him. He flinches, feeling more vulnerable now than ever. He’s weak and tired.

Something is definitely here. A presence…of some sort. He can feel it, but there’s nothing there. Nothing but the stars that constantly surround him now, watching him wherever he goes. He looks around and sees the same thing over and over again: stars. Stars. Stars. Stars.

A low grumble hums behind him. He stops, dizzied by his meaningless search. What was that? The hum grows louder. He turns around, ready to defend himself with his feet planted on the ground and his arms at the ready. It’s that same noise. That blackness…

The hum quickly becomes a roar, and Ben doesn’t have time to even decide what to do next when a massive shadow rises and rushes towards him like a monstrous wave tumbling rapidly towards the shore, ready to crash and destroy anything in its path. It’s making a loud brewing noise, like it's winding up a terrifying music box of thunder and lightning, getting louder and louder, ready to let everything out of the box at once, attacking everything and anything it can. Ben looks around once more, as if begging this dimension to give him something to work with, but there’s nothing else to do and nowhere to go. So, he just bows his head and squeezes his eyes shut, readying himself for the crash and whatever will happen next.

A few seconds tick by, and nothing happens. He hears nothing. The rumbling has stopped. He’s still in fighting position, with one arm up in front of him, balled in a fist and ready to fight, the other arms bent down by his other side to balance himself, and his legs are spaced apart, with one slightly bent and positioned in front of him. He’s tried to distribute his body weight to sink towards his feet, to keep him anchored to whatever invisible barrier he’s rooted on. He opens his eyes.

Nothing.

“This isn’t right…” Ben whispers.

Then he feels it. A shock through his body. Like eyes right on him.

He knows where it is.

He looks up. To his horror, the wave of black smog is bent over him, watching him. A shadow with a mind. There’s no time to think, move, or somersault away. The wave drops directly onto Ben, sinking through his body and rushing out like an extreme gust of wind. It sucks his breath away from him and rises Ben from his space in the galactic sky. It won’t stop rushing through him until the very end of its barely-visible tail whips through and tosses him back onto the transparent ground.

Ben lands on his face and hands. His knees fall next, thumping hard against the barrier. The wave leaves as quickly as it came, leaving Ben in quiet chaos. He pants in and out in shallow breaths, fighting to gain back the air he lost.

He gets up to his knees and looks at himself, touching every part of him with his hands. He looks fine. He feels…normal, but tired and confounded. He slowly catches his breath and wipes his hair with his hands. He gets to his feet and lets his hand fall to his side.

“What was tha—"

A hard thump knocks Ben back down from behind. Something hit him square on the back. Hard.

Another blow gets tossed at the back of his head. He groans and wheezes on the ground, grabbing his head with one hand, and holding his weight with the other. He pivots slowly to one side and sees an ominous black guard bending down towards him. The guard drops his weapon with a loud clank! and jerks Ben’s hand from his head. He yanks Ben up and holds him to his side. Another clank! resounds behind him. Ben starts to turn towards the noise when another guard appears, mere inches from his face, grabbing hold of his other wrist. 

These two black-clad soldiers have him. These ominous creatures covered in some sort of thick iron-like armor. Upon further inspection, Ben recognized it as cortosis—a rare material that is both incredibly hard to find and nearly impossible to permeate.

He looks up at one of them. “Who are you? What do you want with me?” he asks, struggling to wriggle free, but to no avail. That black, wave-like creature took so much energy out of him.

“Silence!” the other one—the one on his right—says. “Do not attempt to ask us any further questions. Unless you’d like to have another visit from—”

“Do NOT speak its name!” the guard on the left yells to his partner. “You should remain silenced as well. We cannot give away our mission here.” Ben’s brows furrow again as his face grows white and his stomach lurches. What is going on?

The two guards—one barely shorter than Ben is and the other an inch or two taller—escort Ben further into the Void. Only now, something’s different. It’s as if they’re carrying slowly down a staircase into the stars below. Ben was never able to get beneath the invisible barrier who always had beneath his feet—the one he seemed to fall back to time and time again, regardless of where the Force, the visions, and Rey took him. Yet, these two are taking him there. They descend deeper into the darkness, the stars that once blanketed Ben on his journey now becoming a thing of the past.

They’re going somewhere new.

Ben wan watches as they fall into darkness—controlled chaos—and leave the place he’d been stuck within this whole time. If they hadn’t just attacked me, I’d think I’d be making some progress around here…

They continue on through the shroud of darkness, and as they do, Ben’s body grows colder by the second. Oddly, he also feels his energy slowly return. He wishes he could look at his hands and feel his arms so he can gauge just how great he’s really feeling.

Some sort of crashing sound echoes towards them. He focuses ahead and sees an opening. Sparks of lightning flash in and out of what appears to be the way out of the uncomfortably empty tunnel. The closer they get, the more Ben shivers, but the more the Force swells inside him.

They get closer and closer.

Then something strong rushes through him—something monumentally strong and pure.

He recognizes it immediately.

The Force. It’s electric. It’s not his alone, either. That’s the part that strikes Ben straight through the chest and causes tears to burn in his eyes. He feels Rey’s too, and somehow…even more. There’s so much energy inside him—he swears he could burst out of this place from his fingertips and feet if he let himself soar. He hasn’t felt this strong since feeling Rey with him as he took down the Knights of Ren.

Ben steps inside, leaving the tunnel firmly behind, and enters the throng Lightning crashes all around them. Crashes of lightning and eerie chirps splinter through the air, momentarily leaving the entire arena-like dome both blind and quaking. The barrier covering them on all sides like the top of a ball is almost clear and spans hundreds of feet in every direction, except one. In front of them, Ben can see a filmy barrier only a few paces away. Something unidentifiable is behind it, but Ben has a strong feeling that it’s something of great significance. It goes beneath them as far as he can see, but the ground here isn’t as translucent as the ground he’s used to. This one is foggy and gray, with the consistency of polished stone. It dips down where the barrier wall closest to them is and seems to spin down somewhere in a makeshift staircase.

They walk towards it, but as they do, Ben starts feeling something. Like needles pricking his skin. He hears a muffled voice in his mind. His eyes narrow as he tries to make out what it’s saying while attempting to piece together what could be going on. His mind runs through all the pages of text he studied and studied on Dyads and things that don’t quite make sense, in areas that people don’t know a lot about. But he comes up with nothing. Still, he keeps his mind open and walks in silence with the guards at either side of him.

The only sounds he hears are the thumping footsteps of the three of them. They approach the barrier and turn to descend the steps. Ben turns to peer through the barrier to find out what’s behind the wall when his name rings clear as day into his mind.

“Ben. Ben. Be with me, Ben.”

His heart, everything around him, and time itself immediately halt.

He turns around. Rey? He looks to his right, to his left, above, and below him. He can’t see her anywhere, and these guards are on each of his arms. It takes some effort to control his body shaking. Rey, he thinks. I’m coming. Don’t you worry. I’m coming. He can feel her. He can nearly smell the way her hair does when she brushes against him, and the way she sounds when she breathes, when she fights, when she says his name…

“Be—”

REY!

“HEY!” a gruff man’s voice rings in Ben’s ear. One of the guards forces Ben’s head forward. “Straight ahead! Don't move a muscle!”

Fury burns inside him. You will not keep me from her, he tries to burn in the man’s mind as they continue down the steps. Biting his tongue and maintaining his composure, Ben fights the urge to punch the guard right in the mouth. If I have any chance of getting out of here and reuniting with her…I have to play my cards just right. Plus, I don’t want another encounter with that…thing. If they find out his strength, they may keep Ben in that smog-like creature indefinitely. He stifles a shudder as he moves forward.

The guards lead him down into a deep, cellar-like cavern that looks a lot like one of the caves Ben has found himself in since being in this strange world. But...this time it’s different. This place is different somehow

“BEN!”

Ben whips towards the source of Rey’s voice. It’s still in his mind. Only he can hear her. But…

Ben’s eyes grow wide. To his right, in the corner of one of the walls, he can see Rey through two stone walls. It’s her in the Falcon. Clear as day.

“REY!” he calls out to her.

Ben takes a deep breath, centers himself, and then attacks.

He ducks and kicks the guard on his left and uses the Force to blow them far into the direction from which they came. He uses his free forearm to crush the grip of the guard on his right and break free. He uses the Force energy he has to keep them behind him as he runs towards the vision, watching Rey’s beautiful face become more and more distinct, her surroundings becoming more evident, by the second.

“Re—”

A blow to the head knocks him to the ground. He rolls over and pushes the guards away through the Force. One of them takes something from their armor and shoots something at him.

“AH!” Ben falls back as tiny electric shocks pulse over his body. His dark hair falls back onto the stone, causing the frigid air to feel even icier against his face and neck. The shocks hurt some, but the pain isn’t the part that’s keeping him on the ground. It’s holding him together somehow, numbing him and binding his movements. It’s like a little bottled-up dose of whatever was in that black wave…

Ben internally shudders but is frozen to the ground. The guards come over and grab him together, one of them holding him from under his arms and the other holding him by the legs. 

They throw him into a nearby cell like a bag of garbage. Luckily, he’s too numb to feel any pain, and he doesn’t know if he would notice any pain anyway.

He can’t stop smiling. “I’m so close to her…” he whispers, “I can feel her with me. She’s so close. So much closer than before…and I think she…heard me.” His heart leaps in his chest as it continues thudding rapidly.

Ben turns his eyes about the room, taking in his new temporary quarters. It’s damp, dark, and has no way out with no light in, save a tiny window at the top of the door, where the guards can presumably keep an eye on him. He knows they said something to him when they slammed the door shut, but he wasn’t listening. All he cared about was one thing: Rey.

Once he hears their footsteps disappear, he closed his eyes and focused on healing himself of whatever ghastly material is intoxicating him. It takes quite a while, but eventually the feeling passes. When it does, he rolls his shoulders back and stretches out his arms and legs.

There’s still a lot he doesn’t know about what’s going on or how to find Rey in person, but what he does know is that these guards—whoever they may be—have led him to a place where he can communicate with Rey almost effortlessly. A place where he is closer to Rey than he has been for a very long time.

 

Chapter 14

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

“What’s taking you so long? The customer asked for that part this morning! Come on, girl! Hurry up!” A man Rey now knows all too well barks at her before engaging in a roaring coughing fit and disappearing behind the curtain that separates the front of the shop from where Rey works. She hears the man mumble something to someone about the “good-for-nothing Jedi girl” who is largely pregnant and takes “all day to do one simple task.” Rey’s blood boils with anger, but she scrubs the part even faster. She has no choice but to do any and all work she can to save up for her ship parts and earn her way off this planet.

She took on this part-time work on top of the work she was assigned to with Alor in an effort to speed up the process of leaving. There wasn’t enough work at her other job. She first needed permission, of course, but luckily Alor liked her well enough to put in a good word with the queen, and subsequently Trof—the ghoulish-looking, yet oversized and bloated green man who seemed to always be covered in some sort of filth, whether it was something resembling snot, oil, or grease. And they don’t work with grease.

Rey shudders at the thought.                          

She blows out air in a hefty exhale and looks back down at her hands. They’re covered in dirt and not nearly enough water. Everything is dry here, and it’s hard to get water, let alone anything that could wash these parts. Wincing, she pours the mixture of unidentifiable liquid she’s given every day onto the small metal droid part and keeps scrubbing. It smells like metal, meat, and paste…and maybe some sort of flower? Rey can’t tell what it smells like. It’s just gross, and it’s soaked into the rag she uses to clean with, and subsequently her hands.

Using the thought of seeing Ben again to fuel the fire burning inside her, Rey scrubs and scrubs until her lower back begs her to stop. Even then, she struggles to stop. I have to finish this, she thinks as she sees the finish line on her cleaning job, just one more spot… but then her back tightens even more. She throws down the dirty towel and surrenders to a seat nearby. She lets out an audible sigh, relieved to finally be sitting. It’s been harder to work as her pregnancy has gone on. Her belly is far more swollen than it has ever been, and she’s tired. Emotionally, physically, mentally. It’s been weeks since I felt Ben coming. Where is he?

A twinge of guilt pricks at her chest. She wipes her brow with the back of her hand and calms herself, correcting the negative thought with one much more hopeful, and something she knows to be real: I know he’s been with me…I just can’t explain it or figure it out…I don’t understand what’s going on anymore. She tries to sink her face into her hands, but it’s too uncomfortable for her belly. She groans and then relents to sinking her face into just one. Her shoulders drop. So much is going on inside her body and mind—it’s hard to know what thought to settle on and to know how she’s really feeling. Is she lost? Is she scared? Is she confused, or hurt, or frustrated? Is she hopeful? At peace? Motivated?

Regardless of any doubts she ever has throughout the day, Rey can always count on her thoughts and feelings settling to one thing and one thing alone: I have to find Ben. I know he’s out there. I feel him… Sometimes she sees him in dreams, but oddly, he’s never close enough to touch, and he often doesn’t even see her or know she’s there. He’s harder to find, and the thoughts are murky, and it’s like Rey can see straight through him. Then, this last week…the dreams stopped altogether. Rey leans back in her seat and swallows back tears. Is he…gone? Why can’t I see him anymore…am I too late? Her lower lip trembles, and her eyes sting with the beginnings of tears.

No. I can’t think like that—a mantra she’s memorized these last few days. I know he’s there…but…now…it’s more of a feeling. Less so in dreams, and more inside me. A feeling. She doesn’t know how, or even what to make of it, but she’s felt him, and she knows she’s felt him. At first, it was small, and then…as time went on…the feeling grew. Like the fluttering of a butterfly, sometimes floating through her body before landing back in her consciousness, not without first landing softly in her chest.

At times, the feeling is strong, nearly palpable. She can feel him, but she can’t see or hear him. Her brows knit together. There’s a gap…of some sort. I can’t make out what it is…

She looks down at her hands and sees that she’s still holding the plate of an old droid. How much more of this is going to happen? Us missing each other and me left in the dark…not knowing.

Her mind flickers back to the day she was assigned to work and live at Alor’s shop. The old woman was a lot stronger than she looked, and Rey was impressed at how skilled she was at making parts and baking goods on the side. No matter what planet you’re on, food is always a greatly sought-after commodity. Sometimes Alor slips Rey something or places it on her bed to make the young Jedi smile after a long day’s work.

She thinks back on when she told Alor the story that brought her here. Short and not too revealing, but she gave her a version that touched the old woman all the same.

Rey had smiled, taking a seat on the bed that would now be her resting place to fall asleep and hopefully dream of Ben. She ran her fingers over the sheet and looked at the flattened pillow. She wondered how many heads had rested on it, and whether or not she’d still use Ben’s shirt to prop her head up at night. The faint smell of him has lingered on it since his death, but it’s starting to fade now. In fact, it might have already faded, but the scent of his skin was now so ingrained in Rey’s memory that her mind could fill in the gaps. She hoped it would never leave her.

The old woman’s eyebrows rose, showing the creased lines cracked in her desert-dry skin leading up to her hairline. “Are…you going to tell me?” The woman laughed, which made a small smile appear on Rey’s distant face.

The Jedi blinked a couple times, returning herself from the daze that had so easily seduced her, and looked back at Alor. She gave the woman a small smile, “Well, I don’t really know how to start, but…I…had someone special…have someone special.” She looked down and smoothed out her shirt, cupping her growing belly with her hands on her lap. Rey continued, her voice quickening in pace as panic bubbled inside her, “He’s missing, and I think he’s in danger. I don’t know where he is, and I’m worried that something bad will happen to him. I want to know he’s okay, and I think I’m the only one who can save him, and—”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down,” Alor said, placing a weathered hand on Rey’s. Rey nodded as she took the advice. She let her shoulder drop and slowed her breathing.

She took a deep breath, blinked back tears, and continued, “I have to get to him as soon as possible. Before it’s too late…and I don’t know how long the clock is ticking, and…” her voice trailed off as she returned to the trance that so easily pulled her in whenever doubt wriggled into her mind. She could feel it all. It encompassed her like a dark cloud. The fear. The not knowing. The speculative thoughts. It’s a whirlwind of agony, and Rey wished she could stop walking into its grasp, allowing herself to get sucked right into the storm.

“And he’s the father of your child, I presume,” the woman said, remaining patient but still coaxing Rey to continue.

Rey turned to her, “How did you know?”

Alor smiled, “It’s not too hard to tell, dear.”

Rey nodded, earnestly trying to stay present. “I love him…and I…” didn’t even get to tell him, she stopped herself from saying. It wouldn’t make much sense to someone outside of Ben and I to understand how we feel about each other. We’re a rare case. I mean, I’m pregnant with his child and I love him and am so worried…but I still haven’t told him that I love him….how would she understand that…we’re a dyad. No one would understand that…

“Well,” Alor said, holding both of Rey’s hands up in front of her, “I’ll help you in any way I can to find your husband.”

The word “husband” sent a lightning bolt up Rey’s body. He is…in a way…but so much more. “He’s a part of me,” Rey said, tears trailing down her face, “and I can’t have our baby alone.”

Alor smiles sadly, “That’s completely understandable. Now, don’t you worry.  I’ll help you. Love is a powerful thing. The bond between lovers is stronger than anything in the entire galaxy.” She looked at Rey with sad, yet hopeful eyes. Rey could tell how much this woman yearned for Rey’s life to turn for the better. Love really is powerful. I guess anyone can see that…whether they know of dyads or not.

“You’ll see your husband again soon,” Alor said, patting Rey’s hands. Rey smiled, laughing softly upon hearing the word again. Giddiness filled her before the darkness returned, eclipsing the light.

Still, she managed to smile through the pain. “Thank you. I really appreciate it. I need all the help I can get.”

Are you done yet?” a voice roars as a curtain rips to the side. Rey jumps, leaping out of her memory. Panic instantly fills her as she looks at the not-clean-yet droid piece in her hands. The man roars, barreling over to Rey and ripping the piece right out of her hands. “Are you kidding me?” he growls. “ARGH! All this time and you aren’t even done?” He glares at Rey with his tiny eyes—they’re so little sitting on his large nose. They look like two little spiders on top of an enormous, green carrot. He growls again, spits on the piece, wipes it with his shirt, and says, “Good enough.”

Rey’s face twists in disgust, and before she can realize she’s making the sour face, Trof yells, “Well if you had finished it in time I wouldn’t have to do it myself!

Rey sinks her teeth slightly into her tongue. Don’t say anything, Rey. You need this extra work. Think of Ben. Think of the baby.

After the small pep talk she gave herself inside her head, Rey smiles her cheery, dimpled smile, and says, “You are so right. I will work even harder on the next one. If you c—”

Trof let out a loud guffaw, his belly jiggling like water inside a flimsy jug. “YOU!” He yells as he abruptly stops laughing, “ARE LEAVING! NOW!”

Rey’s eyes bulge out. “What? That’s not fair. I was working as fast as I could!”

“It sure looked like it!” the man sarcastically spits back.

Rey’s eyebrows lower as she glowers at Trof. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“No, I—”

She looks at him more intensely, the Force rising from within her. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Trof relaxes his rubbery shoulders, his face more serene. “Okay,” he says.

Rey smiles. “Good. Have a good night!” She stands up, wipes her hands on her white shirt (which is now more of a light brown), and heads past the large green man and into the shop. She passes an angry customer, who peers at her with all eight of his angry eyes, as she opens the mouth of the tent and begins her walk back to Alor’s.

The sand starts to pick up with the wind as Rey journeys back to the woman’s humble hut. By the time she finally gets there, she isn’t able to see. The Force is more exhausting to use these days, too, so using that to keep the sand at bay wasn’t an option either. Although sometimes the Force is even easier to use—and more powerful, stronger—than Rey ever experienced before. Those occurrences were fewer and far between, though.  

“I’m here!” Rey calls out as she enters Alor’s place. She moves aside the canvas partitioning the storefront from where they live and ducks beneath the top of the opening. The old woman is sitting at her small wooden table, a few feet from a warm stove with a small piece of meat and a biscuit on it. Rey beams.

Alor laughs, “Yes, that’s for you, dear. Don’t eat it too quickly or it will upset your stomach.”

Rey runs over to the food and picks it up eagerly with both hands. The warmth of the biscuit warms her shivering hands. Geonosis is blazing hot in the daylight and unbearably cold at dusk. The piece of meat sitting on top of the biscuit looks like the best thing Rey could ever eat. She shoves the food into her mouth and hungrily eats it all within a matter of seconds.

“Now, what did I say?” Alor says, teasing. Rey continues chewing, savoring every little piece and every ounce of flavor. Alor reaches behind her and grabs something from beneath the chair. It’s another biscuit—without the meat and not as fresh, but a biscuit all the same—and tosses it Rey’s way. The young Jedi’s eyes sparkle as she looks at the older woman with awe and deep gratitude. Alor laughs softly and says, “For the baby.” She winks and adds, “Good night, Rey. I have some things you can do with me in the morning if you’d like. I know how badly you need to leave. I know how much you miss your husband.”

Rey’s stomach drops. She smiles warmly at Alor and nods, but she’s lost her appetite. “Good night,” she says before turning around and heading for her door.

As Rey turns around and puts her hand on the doorknob to her room, she can feel the tears burning in her eyes. She twists the knob but nothing happens. “Oh, that darn door,” Alor says from behind, “Is it giving you problems again?”

“N-No, I’m fine—it’s fine,” Rey replies. She urges the door to budge. She can’t let Alor see the tears in her eyes…she can’t risk any more questions…How could she answer any questions without knowing most the answers herself anyway?

Finally, the door gives, and Rey stumbles into the room.

Alor says something like “Oh good!” from the other room, so Rey says another “Thanks! Night!” and then closes the door. The room is quiet. Fear creeps into Rey, like monsters clawing up from the shadows. She hates this part of the day. The part where she can’t escape from her thoughts anymore. The fears. The worries. The regrets. Seeing Ben die over and over again.

“No,” she tells herself angrily, tears spilling down her face, “He did not die. He can’t be dead. He’s not gone…Ben…” She sobs as silently as she can into her hands as she wobbles to her bed and lies inside. She lets everything inside her go. Tears stream down her cheeks and pain twists from her body, but the whole time she’s thinking of Ben. She can’t stop seeing him. His smile, his touch, his lips as he kissed her, his arms as he spun her into him. Where is he now? Where is he now?

Rey cries and cries until the tears start to dry and her body hardens into numbness. She blows her nose into her dirty work shirt before sitting up and taking it off. She’s engulfed by the silence of the night as she pulls Ben’s shirt over her body. She closes her eyes and pretends he’s holding her as she slips back down onto her sheets.

She must have been crying for a long time. Alor is nowhere to be heard and the smell of biscuits and the warmth of the stove is far gone.

She opens her eyes and stares at the wall to her right. One more tear escapes down her face. She sniffs and then closes her eyes. “Ben…” she says, wrapping her arms around her chest, “Be with me.”

“Rey.”

Rey’s eyes shoot open. Her body is frozen. Did I imagine that? It was so clear…She waits, and listens. Too afraid to make a sound, she hardly even breathes.

“Rey, I’m here. I’m here.”

She sits up so fast she’s dizzy when she turns to look around the room. She scans every inch of the room, but no one’s there.

“Ben?” she asks, her arms still wrapped around her chest. Her body starts to tremble. Maybe I did imagine it…maybe I’m going mad…she shakes off the thought. No. I know I heard it. He’s here.

“Rey, it’s me. Can you hear me?” Ben’s voice is as clear as crystal. “I think I finally found you.”

Notes:

I'm so sorry for the delay! I'm finishing my Bachelor of Arts degree. Next week is my last week, though! Only seven more days until I graduate! :D Yay! Then I'll wrap this fic up. :) I'm hoping to get it all done by the end of May. So stay tuned for more updates (and more frequent updates after May 2nd). :)

Chapter Text

 

“Rey?” He repeats.

The sound of her name calling to her in Ben’s voice sends Rey’s heart to lightspeed. This isn’t really happening, is it? Flashes of memory spin through her mind. Every moment she’s caught a glimpse, a kiss, a touch from him over the last few months pours through her and crashes into her mind as tears beg to spill out.

“Ben,” she says back, both a question and a call to him. The room is silent. She pauses, waiting.

Then it happens. “Rey? You can hear me!” His voice is alive and joyous, astonished and overcome with emotion. Rey’s breath shivers up her body, leaving her body shaking and her heart swelling. There is silence in the room, but it’s not empty. Their joy and connection fill the room like a field of flowers all blooming at once.

“Ben! I’m here!” She cries, leaning forward with eyes wide open. There’s a ringing in her ears and her whole body is white hot. I…don’t think this is a dream.

“Rey… I’ve looked everywhere for you. I can’t…I can’t believe this.” He laughs a full-body laugh of relief. He takes a moment to stifle a sob. He sniffs, trying to compose himself before continuing, “I’ve been looking for you for so long….”

Rey slides her body off the bed and sinks her knees into the dirt floor. “Ben.” She can’t stop saying it, as if leaving his name inside herself would make him disappear.

You found me,” she whispers, smiling through tears. She wipes them away and scoots closer to him, grateful her belly is only barely larger than a piece of meiloorun fruit.

“Of course,” Ben replies softly, “I told you I would.”

The smile on her face spreads to her ears. She laughs softly and wipes her face along her cheekbone. It’s strange. She can’t see him, but she feels his presence. His life and everything he’s made of—everything they’re made of together—is coming alive in the room, and she can feel him right next to her.

She moves her fingers closer to where she feels his presence. As she does, she feels his warmth. She scoots closer.

“I’ve missed you more than I could ever begin to express,” he says, and she knows he’s looking right at her.

“I’ve missed you too,” she says, her throat tight. She swallows the lump lodged inside. “I…” Her eyebrows knit together. “Ben, you can see me, can’t you?”

“Yes, I…you can’t see me?” His voice is so close to her. She can almost feel his breath on her skin.

“No, I can’t,” she says, her stomach dropping. No, it’s enough just to hear him, she scolds herself, just appreciate what we have right now.

“Rey,” he says, his voice lighter, cheerier, “You look adorable. I can’t believe we’re having a baby.”

Rey laughs, shoving aside her disappointment in being unable to see him. “I can’t believe it either. I’ll find you, though. Before he’s born.”

“I’ll find you too. We’re so close.”

“Yes, we are! I can feel it…Where do you think we’ll meet? I…I don’t know where to go…” Rey swirls her finger in the dirt, making spirals.

“You’re going to Taru, right? To see Calyn?”

Rey’s finger stops. “Yes,” she says, “I know that, but…I just don’t know where to go to find you.”

She looks up to where she can feel his face is. Even though she can’t see it, she can feel his eyes on her, and it makes her melt inside.

“I read a lot about us,” Ben says, “well, not explicitly us, but it was a prophecy of people who sound an awful lot like us—people I’m sure are us…and I’ve learned a lot. I think it’s really important you know too. It’s information that could save us—that could be pieces of a puzzle to bring us together. I don’t have all the answers, but I have some parts of it, and maybe you can piece it with whatever Calyn tells you.” He stops thoughtfully before saying, “I don’t know when I’ll see you again. Our connection seems so strong, and close, but I don’t want to assume anything. I don’t want to let the chance slip away…” He trails off, and for a moment, Rey hears nothing but the insects chirping outside. But she can feel his sorrow. His worry. As if the other parts of their souls were desperately trying to reattach and make them whole again.

“I wish I could talk to you about everything,” Ben says, breaking the silence, “About how much I’ve missed you and how much I care about you. About how I’ve searched what seemed like a thousand timelines but could never find you.” Rey’s eyes burn, and she can’t stop the tears this time. She lets them flow freely as Ben continues, “But I don’t know how much time we have, so at least right now, I need to tell you as much as I can to make it easier to find each other. And when we do, I’ll have the rest of forever to tell you everything I want to tell you right now.”

Rey sniffs back tears as she whispers, “Can you tell me some of that first?”

Ben laughs the kind of shaky life you do when you’re both crying and extraordinarily happy. Rey’s head, which had been leaning against one shoulder, perks up. She can now fully hear Ben’s breaths. He’s getting closer. He’s coming into this world—into this room—more and more. She lifts her hand to reach out to touch him but stops when he speaks. “I can,” he says. “I miss seeing you like this. I miss the spark in your eyes. The way you make me better. The way you make me feel like I’m not alone—know that I’m not alone.” Rey blushes and smiles as she tucks her hair behind her ear.

“You give me the strength to do what I need to,” he continues, “To carry on. To believe in myself and others. To know I can find you. To know what love can do for me, and what I can do when I love someone with my entire being, and beyond.” Rey gasps. She feels him. A hand against her cheek. Her eyes swell with tears, but she’s too shocked to move.

“I miss you, and the wholeness I feel when we’re together,” he says. Rey’s body trembles. She closes her eyes and lets her head fall into the palm of his hand. His warmth fills her like springtime sunlight. “When I came to you on Exogal, and we felt each other…I’ve never felt anything like it. The purity and wholeness…the electricity—"

“The fire and light,” Rey interjects.  “Feelings so palpable and beautiful you could drink them. They were intertwined like two snakes—one with yearning and passion, the other so pure you’re afraid to touch it.”

“Yes, exactly!” Ben says, his voice booming. Rey feels it move up her body and begs it to stay.

She leans in closer. “Ben?”

“Yes…” his voice is quiet but his heart is loud. Or maybe it’s hers. She can’t tell whose is whose in this quiet darkness. All she knows is that she hearts a throbbing heartbeat pulsing in her ears.

“I can feel you. Can you feel me?” She closes her eyes so she can envision him as he speaks.

“I can’t,” he says, his voice lined with disappointment. “But I can see you. Every freckle on your breathtaking face. Every hair on your head. The way your mouth moves in such a tantalizing way when you’re excited. The curves of your body.” Rey bites softly on her lower lip as she lets her mind drift away in him. “The body of a woman I love more than anything. A body carrying our life force inside, in more ways than one. Someone I long to kiss. To touch. To hold until everything around us disappears.”

He leans closer to her. Her eyes are still closed as she feels his hand leave her face. She frowns, knowing he can’t feel her and she can’t see him. He continues, “Rey, I’d give you every world if you wanted it...and…” his voice breaks, “I’ll watch over you and our son if I don’t make it out of here.”

“Ben,” she says, firmly. “You will. We’ll get through this. We will find each other. We—” Rey gasps as she opens her eyes. “I can see you!” He sits up, his face lighting up with such adorable urgency and longing it makes Rey weak. She smiles and cries, gasping and laughing. “Ben! Look at me! Ah! Can you feel me now?” She sits up on her knees and looks deep into his eyes. He smiles wider than she’s ever seen him smile before, and it makes her fall in love with him all over again.

“Rey,” he says. His eyes search her like he’s never seen anything, or anyone, so extraordinary in his entire life. He lifts his hand and places it on her cheek. They look at each other with teary smiles like they did when he revived her on Exogal. His fingers comb through the back of her hair. His lip quivers as he smiles deep into her. “I’ve found you,” he whispers.

She wraps her arms around him and cries into his pale-colored tunic. “Ben. Please stay. Please stay with me forever.”

“Always, Rey. I’ll always be with you.”

They let themselves cry. They know that they’re together on borrowed time and that it will soon come to an end.  

Rey doesn’t know how long it’s been since she started crying, but they just let themselves hold each other as they cry.

Finally, Ben pulls away and speaks. “If only I…if only I could feel you. Touch you.”

Rey’s head moves back, alarmed and confused. “But…I can feel you…” She leans closer and places a hand on his arm. She trickles her fingers down his skin like tiny drops of water skating against a windowsill.

She looks to him and smiles warmly when she catches him still drinking her in with adoration and disbelief. His dark eyes sending hot waves through her chest and down her whole body.

The continues touching him and perks up when she realizes something. “Ben, the more I touch you, the clearer you become. Maybe, you can start feeling me too.”

He sits up. The two of them look at each other, faces only a few inches apart, their bodies in opposite directions like two pieces of one body. They each put up one hand, giving them both the same sense of déjà vu. They smile at the shared memory. She presses her hand on his. She can feel his fingertips on hers, and the way her palm is swallowed up in his.

He frowns and shakes his head. Rey shares his frown and sighs. She casts her eyes to the ground and starts to think. What will break this final barrier between us? I know we can do it. Before this miracle fades.

“Maybe we should just focus on getting closer,” Ben says. Rey looks up. “Just stay with me. Let’s focus on just being together. This is enough for now….”

Rey shakes her head, a faint smile on her face. She leans forward, her chest pushing against his. His body responds to hers. She puts her fingers through his hair. “Can you feel this?”

He stares up at her with the same look of adoration that’s been on his face all night. He smiles teasingly. “No, but I haven’t been this close to you since…that day…so, I’m happy.”

“How do I feel you, and how do you move with me, if you can’t feel me?” Rey asks herself just as much as she’s asking him.

“I don’t know,” he says, sitting up to be as close to her as possible. He moves his hand up her neck, without really touching it. She feels it brush her softly, like someone blowing on her skin. “I guess I’m, little by little, starting to feel you…it’s just…” He sighs. “I can feel something. I just can’t feel you, if that makes sense. I can’t curl your hair around my finger or take you and kiss you like I long to do. I can’t initiate any moves. My body goes right through yours unless you initiate. And even then, I can’t feel more than a strong wind pushing against me.”

Rey nods, listening as she twirls his hair around her finger. She watches each and every dark strand fall back to him. The wind outside starts to howl. She smiles and closes her eyes. She leans down to his ear and lightly blows air down the nape of his neck. “Can you feel this?” she asks, in a soft, deep, alluring voice only he can hear.

“I-I think I felt something,” he says, which makes her smile.

Rey can feel his skin get hot, so she leans her cheek against his and closes her eyes. Stay with me.

She opens her eyes and continues her quest to help him feel her. Really, truly feel her.

She smiles coyly. His eyebrows rise. “What?” he asks, now smiling himself.

Rey rises up on her knees and uses her hands to gently push him to the ground by his shoulders. Slowly, she lifts one leg up and shifts her body over his. She sits down on his lap and watches his stunned face as crawls on top of him, her hands sliding forward in the dirt at either side of him, her back arching as she gets closer and closer to his mouth.

He looks at her breathlessly. She smiles. “Can you feel this?” she asks and puts her lips on his. She kisses him adamantly, as if saving the world depended on how passionately she kissed him. He hungrily kisses her back, his hands gripping her hips and bringing her closer to him. They slide up her back as the two of them kiss even deeper. Rey moves her fingers through his hair and holds onto him, tasting him and reveling in the softness of his lips. Her mind goes blank and fuzzy, and the world around them is a dizzying pool catering only to them. She sheds herself from the skin she’s in—from the world that’s keeping her away from him. Now, it’s only them. The only person other than herself is him, and nothing will harm them or keep them apart. They’re in their own world now, and she refuses to believe otherwise.

They keep kissing until Ben breaks away to kiss down Rey’s neck. He buries his face in the crook of her neck and wraps his arms tightly around her. Her arms wrap around him too, and they stay like this as they catch their breath.

“Well,” he says, still catching his breath, “I felt that.”

Rey sits back and throws her head back in laughter, her hands linked behind his neck. He laughs too, as he watches her in awe. She looks down at him and says, “So, you really can feel me?”

Ben moves his hands up her legs and nods up at her. His eyes look down to her growing belly. He lifts his hands to touch it but then stops and asks, “May I?”

Rey’s nose crinkles as she smiles, “Of course! He’s yours, too.”

Ben beams and then looks back at her stomach. Slowly, he places a hand on it. Rey’s heart flutters. A tear spills from one of her eyes. It drops on Ben’s hand.

He frowns up at her, “What’s wrong?”

Still smiling, she shakes her head. “Nothing. I’m just so happy.”

He smiles back at her, ear to ear. “Me too.”

Everything feels so right. So perfect. I wonder what I would have thought this morning if someone had told me my day would lead to this. She smiles and watches Ben wait for something to happen. “I don’t think you’re going to feel anything,” she says, placing her hand on top of his. “I haven’t felt him kick yet.”

Ben leans down and places his head on her stomach, cradling it gently. “I’m here,” he whispers, “Daddy’s here.”

Rey’s body fills with the flutters of a million tiny wings as her eyes burn with tears again. She sniffs them back and puts her free hand on Ben’s head. She’s about to say something when she feels it. They feel it.

He looks up at her, shocked, and she looks back at him with wide eyes and an open-mouthed smile. “Ohmigosh,” she says with a laugh. “Ben!”

“Was that—did that really just happen?” he asked pointing down to her belly, his eyes as wide-open as hers.

“Yes!” she cried. “He kicked! You did it! He heard you!” She clapped and laughed. Ben’s eyes burned red with tears as Rey threw her arms around him. “You’re a wonderful father already.”

He looks up at her, still smiling, and places his palm to her cheek. She closes her eyes and soaks in every touch as he tenderly strokes her cheek with his fingers. He moves forward and kisses her on the lips. Her heart leaps again, and she wonders if it will always leap, even when they’ve been kissing for a hundred years.

Ben’s face suddenly goes grim. “Rey...I don’t think we have much time.”

“What’s wrong?” Rey asks, her blood running cold.

He looks at her, worry etched so evidently on his face. “I can feel the connection weakening. Can you?”

Her heart beats faster. She can’t accept it. She can’t accept that he’s going to slip away again

But she feels it too.

Even if she wanted to pretend it wasn’t true, she didn’t have the time or luxury to do so. Ben is already starting to fade. Even though she can still see and feel every inch of him, it is now so painfully and undeniably clear that he’s still stuck somewhere else. Like he’s caught in a big bubble that’s impossible to pop. 

His eyes fill with tears. “Rey,” he says, grabbing her hands and holding them in his, “Rey, I’ll find you. I won’t leave you to have our son without me. And quick—I need you to listen. Listen—” As he starts to disappear, she feels the warmth of his hands turning into air. She can’t deny the pain any longer. Tears spill from her and her eyes close. “Rey, Please. Stay with me. I need to tell you as much as I can before I disappear. I don’t know when I’ll see you again.” She wipes her eyes and looks at him. He buries his eyes deep into hers so she can’t look away. She shakes her head and does her best not to cry. 

“No...no, Ben, no... I can’t lose you again. Please.”

“Listen to me. Listen to me,” he says, and for a moment she can feel him again. He holds one hand on the nape of her neck while the other still holds hers, pressed against his chest. “I don’t have time to tell you what all this means, but hopefully it’s better than nothing: ask Calyn about the thread connecting us and a third person—our baby, I have been thinking—and ask about the World Between Worlds, and ask as much as you can about Force Dyads…and maybe about this evil thing. I can’t explain it. It’s like an enormous black cloud or wave or something. It’s here. I don’t know where I am or what it is, but please try to find out. I—I’m fading. I love you, Rey. I love you.”

Rey’s body drops the few inches to the ground where the last of Ben’s body had been solidified. Now, all she can see is a faint vision of his face.

“I love you too,” she says through tears, “and I promise I’ll look into all of those things. We can do this. We can do this.” She buries the words into her own mind as much as she’s trying to speak them to him.

He smiles at her, and she knows he’s trying to be strong for her. The least she can do is be strong for him too. “I’ll see you soon, Ben,” she says, smiling to him—for him—but also for herself, clinging onto the thought of their reunion—the one she so desperately longs for. No more of these goodbyes. I am done with these goodbyes.

“We’ll see each other soon,” he says, completely fading from view. She nods, and through the darkness, she hears him finish: “I promise.”

She swallows her tears as she feels his presence leave. Her hand is still up, positioned by him when he held it to his chest. Part of her never wanted to move it. She wants to keep him with her as much as possible. She wants to feel him.

Sighing, she slowly brings her hand down to her side. The only way I’m going to feel and see him again—and never have to deal with these horrendous goodbyes again—is if I buckle down and get out of this place. Warmth pushes through her chest and spreads through her like a warm cup of tea, calming her breaths and easing her mind. She smiles her dimpled smile and knows it’s Ben touching her from wherever he is. He’s with her, and nothing can take that from her. Nothing can separate two souls that are one. A Force Dyad like none before. “It’s all right,” he’s saying, “I’m here, and we’ve got this.”

Rey smiles and calls out to him. Let’s do this.

 

**

 

Ben is back to being alone in his cell. He still has no idea where he is, but after seeing Rey, and feeling the kick of his son, he feels stronger than ever. He looks around and realizes that the whole time he was with Rey, he didn’t even notice his surroundings. He isn’t even sure if he was where she was or if she was where he is. All that mattered was her.

His mind instantly returns to her. Of their conversation, her smile, the way she swept towards him, crawling onto his lap, before laying a kiss on him, covering his body with shivering sparks.

He sits down on the stone slate that acts as his bed and lets his mind wander back to her. He smiles as he sees her face in his mind’s eye. The freckles that scatter her face like the stars in the sky. The fullness of her lips. The way she moved on top of him, sending electric shivers through his whole body. His face gets warm, and it takes him a moment to remember what else happened.

Then he smiled at the memory of feeling his son kicking to him, as if to tell him that he’s there and that there’s no time to lose.

Ben opens his eyes. They narrow as his eyebrows knit together. “There’s something I’m not remembering,” he says to himself, “something about the baby…I don’t know if it’s even about the baby. ARGH! The texts were so unclear!”

He runs his hands through his hair, but before he can get any more frustrated, Rey pops into his mind and it’s like a fire has instantly been extinguished from inside him. He scoots back so his back is against the wall. “She looked so strong…so beautiful…so brave.” Ben smiles as he swims in the pride of loving such a woman—a woman who looks like she’s been working day in and day out while carrying their child. While looking for him.

“For me,” Ben says, “She’s looking for me…”

Before he can think of anything else, he hears a racket on the other side of his door.

The feelings of frustration and confusion are quickly replaced with fire and fury as he looks at the door where the guards are roaring on the other side.

“I’ll get out of here, Rey,” he says as he raises a hand to the door.

Fury boils as his mind locks onto the soulless guards behind the wall. One by one, the bolts that had seemed invincible before begin slowly twisting off the door.

“I just have to take care of some things first.”

Chapter 16

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Ben’s eyes stare at the door as the last screw is about to fall.

Okay, I may only have one shot at this…for now, at least.

He takes in a deep breath and lets it out as he drops his arm and shakes it out.

“Here we go.”

Without hesitation, he lifts both his arms and uses the Force to first lock onto the door, and then he pulls towards him with the Force, as if grabbing hold of a tight set of reigns. The door came flying towards him, ricocheting against the walls. He ducks as the door, now dented and caved in, settles sadly onto the space Ben was supposed to use for sleep.

Well. That was easier than I thought.

“ARGGGGH!” a voice comes rattling in. Ben looks and sees the guards push themselves through the steaming doorway. He smiles and moves one hand again. Through the Force, he pushes one of the guards towards the other. He raises another hand and crashes the guards together.

Seemingly unfazed, the guards continue barreling towards him. He runs forward and punches one of the guards in the face of his helmet. It’d be so much easier if they weren’t so heavily armored. He kicks the one behind him as he continues punching the other one. He turns around and uses the Force against the one behind him.

It goes like this for a few moments, a frustrated dance between enemies, before Ben lets out a yell from the core of his stomach. Gathering such immense strength from that core, Ben pushes the Force through the air, his arms quaking, with what feels like invisible harpoons on either side of him. The two men are pinned against either cell wall. Ben holds them up with his outstretched arms and slams them together again, this time using that same strong energy through the Force.   

The two crash together so tremendously, their helmets and armor bend together and clamor down on the floor at Ben’s feet. Ben crouches down and takes both helmets and tears them off the guards.

A cold shiver washes through Ben’s body and fills him with the same feeling he got when confronted with that black, smog-like wave.

He drops the helmets and stares down in horror, both shocked and confused.

When he tore off the helmets, there was nobody there.

Just smoke. Fog.

The whisper of a shadow.

 

~

 

A bug keeps landing on Rey’s shoulder, and two customers are in a yelling match a few paces away, but Rey doesn’t seem to notice any of it. Her mind is on Ben, and on their last encounter in her room that night. The way his eyes lingered on her every move, drinking her in. The way he felt against her after being gone for so long. Most of all, she recalls and feels the exciting sensation of his lips on hers. The way he tasted is still on her tongue. It makes her dizzy every time she pulls the memory to the forefront of her mind. Some moments, it feels like he just finished kissing her. Other times it feels like it’s been a year since she felt him at all. She doesn’t let herself get carried away in the sadness of his parting anymore, though. If his appearance that night proved anything, it was that she’s completely, utterly intertwined with him and that Maz was right. Those dreams she was having weren’t dreams. They were passageways to a middle ground—places she could step into and be somewhere with Ben again, even if it was just for a moment.

Those dreams…those places…

Rey smiles wider and closes her eyes. She can almost taste the sea breeze that tangled in her hair as Ben leaned down to kiss her. She could smell the fields of flowers and see the starry skies. All the dreams she ever dreamed had him in them, but those ones were special. They were a refuge from reality, to help them hold on until they could plant their feet on the ground and be somewhere together. Somewhere solid. Somewhere they never had to fear would disappear or harshly rip them away from each other, forcing them apart and waking Rey from the life she longed to live.

No.

That fate will not come for them.

They will find each other soon, and Rey can feel it.

She’s not scared anymore.

She doesn’t have to fear the absence of his soul in hers because she feels it. With every rise and fall of her chest, he’s there. Every heartbeat. Every laugh. Every struggle. He’s there. His heart beats in hers. They may not be together, but they’re sure not far apart. She just needs to find where his body’s trapped and pull him back to her. Then they can relax. They can be together again. Fully, truly. Whole.

Rey opens her eyes and continues her menial task of scrubbing an unidentifiable speeder part from a bin of newly found machine parts. It’s a cylindrical piece with holes for screws and too many nooks and crannies to get properly clean. It’s taking longer than she’d like, but she keeps her mind on her goal. Soon, I’ll be with Ben, and none of this will matter anymore.

Scrubbing and fixing parts over the last few weeks has seemed to fly by. Rey hasn’t heard Ben since that day, but she’s felt him, and she knows it will all be okay. She knows what to ask Calyn, and she’s determined to get to Taru as quickly as possible. Although, from time to time, she starts to worry and can’t help but plan a new escape plan. She always pulls herself back down to reality and reminds herself that her escape plans won’t work and will only push her further away from finally being able to leave.

Still, when Alor dumped off this morning’s junk pile, Rey beamed at the half-broken speeder. I could get around this whole planet…find some means of escape, she’d thought. There’s no way there’s not another ship on this planet. I could leave today.

The thought was more than tempting, but Rey was panged with guilt at the thought of her escape. She couldn’t do that to Alor. Who knows what the leader would do to her if she found out one of the items entrusted in her care went missing, and not only that but the Jedi girl was gone as well.

Rey had shaken her head and kept moving forward with her day after that, not giving it a second thought. She’d get out of here the right way, and that was that.

Rey looks down at the part and jams the burgundy rag into one of the tiny holes. She can’t fit it in. It only partially goes in, and even then it flops out. Rey checks and sees it wasn’t cleaned past the first ring inside. She huffs and keeps going. The only thing that keeps her sane is thinking about anything else. Her mind shifts to her droid friends. Worry strikes her side, but she pushes it away with thoughts of rationale.

BB-8 and IQ-39 have remained hidden in the Falcon so no one tries stripping them for parts, and luckily the locals are too afraid of Rey’s powers to snoop around in her broken ship. This thought brings her vast comfort whenever they pop up in her mind. She visits them from time to time. She brings them oil and talks to them about what’s going on, and they keep her lightsaber there for her and stay waiting until Rey knows what their next move is (which will likely be whenever she’s done with the tedious labor around Geonosis).

Rey swivels the part around to try to get at the hard-to-reach gunk from another angle when something in the air causes Rey to shiver. It passes through her body like someone pushing a wave through her chest and gut. She takes her eyes away from her work and casts them around the shop. All the parts around the shop are shuddering. From where Rey is working to the booth nearby and the ones in front of the store.

“What’s going on?” she mutters, absently placing the part and the rag down on the sink just above her waist. The rag slips off the sink as she walks out toward the shop’s entrance. Rey’s baby somersaults inside of her. She places a hand gently against her stomach, assuring him that she’s okay. He flips again. She smiles. These flips are what caused Rey to give him his new little nickname. “My little fish,” she says quietly as she continues to move.  

She opens the small partition connected to the counter and walks into the evening air. The sky is blue but is sitting on the edge of turning orange. Everything is still, but there’s a strangeness in the air. Something’s going on…I just don’t know what…

Rey’s eyebrows knit together as she stares into the sky, studying each cloud individually. Then she hears something. Her ears prick up. What is that? A whistle?

Sudden realization washes over Rey’s face. “Wait…I know that sound…but…” Rey trails off as she walks further into the light and away from the shop, anxiously scanning the sky.

Why would any ships be landing here? It’s pretty clear I’m the newest company they’ve had in a while.

Panic pulls at Rey’s chest. Unless…

Then she sees it. It’s coming in fast. An old-model TIE fighter hurdles toward her.

They found me, Rey thinks, then stops herself. Wait. Who? Who would be finding me? No one’s looking for me.

Rey takes a step back, steadying herself and her growing belly as her mind pushes her to run to the Falcon. Get your lightsaber, it says, Now! Quick!

Rey knows never to second guess instinct, so she bolts.

The Falcon is pretty far away, but chances are, whoever’s on that ship won’t know where to find her before she gets her hands on her saber.

The sounds of the incoming ship grow louder, the hum of its engine vibrating the ground beneath Rey’s feet as she races to the Falcon. It’s in view when a feeling of intense heat radiates against her shoulder.

“AH!” she yells out, holding her arm. The ship's blast didn't hit her, but only by about a foot. The heat of it burns against her skin. She looks behind and sees the ship so close she can almost see who’s inside. They shot her pretty good, kind of. They grazed her left bicep enough to hurt her but not seriously wound her. Rey can’t tell if the person’s a bad shot or if they’re trying to keep her alive. When they move closer, she can sense through the Force that they want a second go. They’re definitely trying to kill her.

She runs a little faster and then jumps like she did on Pasaana when Ben was still Kylo Ren. It’s more difficult now that she’s pregnant—it takes a little more effort through the Force to push herself up—but she does it. To her dismay, she doesn’t have her lightsaber in hand, so she can’t do the damage she’d like to. She merely evades their attack. She lands on her feet, her stomach pushing forward and her arm outstretched toward the Falcon.

“Come on come on come on,” she mutters as she feels out for her saber. Sweat beads against her hairline and starts trailing down her temples. She keeps reaching, switching her gaze between watching the TIE looping around and the Falcon being just before the horizon. “Come on!”

Something shifts in the air. The corner of Rey’s mouth pulls up. “Yes, yes, come on!” She sees it. Her trusty new lightsaber comes hurdling over to her. She watches as it gets closer and closer.

“ARGH!” She drops to the sand, her arm going limp and the lightsaber falling into the sand a little ways off. It didn’t make it to her, and while her back was turned, Rey didn’t hear her enemy’s ship landing behind her. They’re shooting at her with blasters now. She looks over her now sweltering shoulder and sees two people in black running after her. One has something under his arm. They both look to be men—one large and one of medium build. They aren’t wearing anything symbolizing the First Order, but why would they be? That war was put to bed the day Ben passed away.

They start running towards her. One of them is shooting a blaster at her, and the one with the parcel under his arm is following at a somewhat leisurely pace. Rey gets up and her unharmed arm goes up. She lifts the man with the blaster off the ground and throws him several feet away with a yell. He topples to the ground, and the man with the parcel continues towards her, now picking up his pace. Rey runs towards her saber, checking behind her every couple seconds. The man gets closer, now sprinting to get to her, and takes out some sort of staff he’d concealed on his back. Rey calls for her saber one last time. It swivels over to her and lands in her palm with a satisfying smack. She ignites it and turns to her enemy.

The man jumps at her, and Rey realizes she isn’t dealing with just anybody. He springs at least twelve forward and seven feet high. He angles his staff to hit her directly in the face, but she dodges and swings her lightsaber at him, slicing a few inches off his staff.

She looks to the man’s face and sees that he has some sort of dark-tinted goggles on and a cloth covering his face. He has a black cloth hat and a matching vest and gloves. He has dark green pants and a pale shirt. He doesn’t seem very threatening, but Rey can’t understand why he’s after her at all.

As soon as his feet hit the ground, he starts wielding his staff, trying to hit Rey at any angle he can. She dodges every attack with ease.

“Look,” she says as the man continues to harm her. “I don’t know what you want with me, but I suggest you don’t make me fight back because I’m sure you won’t like it, and I don’t want to kill you if things get nasty.” To Rey’s surprise, the man stops. She smiles. “Good. Now, what’s in that package?”

Rey can’t tell what the man’s expression is like beneath his accessories, but an uneasy feeling bubbles in her gut. He tugs on a cord around his chest and reveals a leather satchel. He opens it and takes out a book. Pain enters Rey’s mind. She doesn’t feel it, but it’s a feeling through the Force. Something’s telling her “DANGER,” and she’s pretty sure it’s coming from that book.

It has strange markings on the front. It looks ancient. What could it hold? Is it dangerous to read, or does it hold power that could be dangerous in the wrong hands?

She plays dumb. “What’s that? Some sort of spell book or something.”

The man slides his hand across the cover and says beneath his kerchief, “Or something.”

Rey doesn’t like the way this guy is making her feel. Her baby rolls in her stomach, and now she’s reminded that she’s not just trying to keep herself safe but that she has very precious cargo on board as well. She smiles that awkward kind of smile people do when they feel uncomfortable and try to move on from a situation. “Okay, look, I don’t know who you are, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to fight you unless you give me that book.”

The man chuckles as he puts the book back in his satchel. “Why would I do that, darlin’?” He holds his staff with both hands again.

Rey smiles. “I guess you don’t know who I am,” she says, igniting her lightsaber. The man doesn’t move, but Rey senses his shock in her lightsaber. She lets out a yell and charges towards him. She hits him below the knee easily, and he crumples to the ground. Yelling, he tries to pull her down with one hand. She pulls back, staggering, when the man uses his pole to trip her from behind. She lands hard on her side on the ground, dust coughing up all around her.

Scowling, she gets to her feet and knees the man in the face. He takes her knee and tries to pull her to the ground. She maneuvers out of the way and stands on the man’s wrist with her boot. He lets out an angry bellow. I don’t think he expected a fight like this from a pregnant lady she thinks with a satisfied smile. She ignites her saber and points it at his throat. “You will tell me what’s in that book and what you want with me.” Through the Force, she senses that his next move will be violent as he lifts his other hand, so she steps on it. He’s now completely pinned to the ground below as her saber gets closer to his neck. “I don’t want to hurt you, so tell me. And leave me alone. Leave this planet alone. NOW!”

There’s a moment where neither of them does a thing, and then the man kicks up to get Rey between the legs, but she dodges and kicks her leg around his instead and pins him down by her legs now. “We can do this all night if you want, but I’d prefer to move on with mine if you don’t mind.”

The man nods, so Rey gets up and lets the man roll over. She watches his every move carefully. He has to know he has no chance. What’s he plotting?

He lunges forward with his whole body. Rey groans, annoyed and tired, and jumps up and kicks him to the ground with far more force than she’d used so far. The man now lies groaning in the dirt a few feet away. Rey runs up to him and grabs hold of his satchel. As she does, the man takes out a blaster. She takes out her saber and cuts off his hand before he can pull the trigger. She slices the strap off the satchel and grabs the bag and bolts away. She doesn’t know where she’s going, but she knows she has to hide and figure out what’s in this thing before that guy, or his friend, comes looking for her.

Still running, Rey pulls out the book, dumping the satchel completely, and studies its cover. She opens it. It belches out dust when she opens the cover, but not only that, goosebumps suddenly cover her body, and she swears she hears someone saying something. She halts, her heels digging deep into the sandy dirt. “What was that?” she mutters to herself as she studies the book’s contents. She tries to read its title, but it’s in a language she doesn’t recognize. “It’s ancient…” Suddenly, an idea shoots through her whole body. “Calyn!” I bet she can read this! But…no…I don’t have time to solve mysteries right now. I need to find out what I need to to get Ben back when I find Calyn. If I have time on top of that, or if she thinks this book is worth discussing, then we can talk about it. Anyway, I gotta hide this thing.

She looks all around her and sees nobody, and nothing other than the Falcon now only a few strides away. So she picks up her pace and heads over to her ship. BB-8! It’s me! Quick—open the ship! I don’t know who’s following me, and we have to figure out—AHHH!”

Shots from a blaster pierce through the quiet night air. The sun is setting, and the world is getting dark. It’s harder to see, and Rey’s having a hard time feeling out. Panic builds inside her. Sometimes I feel the Force stronger than ever before, and sometimes I can’t feel at all. Is this what all Jedi women go through? Rey thinks as she hides in a groove beneath the Falcon. Leia’s face pops into her head. I wish you were here…you’d know what’s going on with me and what to do.

“I know you’re out there, little girl!” A raspy, booming voice calls out to her. Storm clouds gather above, eclipsing the moons and causing a dark sheet to mask the night sky. Something Rey knows can’t be natural. “Don’t make me get you the hard way!”

Rey’s eyebrow twitches. Does he know who he’s dealing with? I’ve defeated Palpatine! Why would he be special?

“Or are you too scared?” the man’s voice booms again, echoing across the desert. “I know you must be scared. Found someone’s lightsaber and wants to play ‘hero.’”

Rey’s blood boils. He’s baiting me…I know he is…but still…

She jumps out from beneath the Falcon and feels around for this strange man. It doesn’t sound like the man with the satchel…who are these people?

Something cold licks Rey’s neck, sending shivers down her spine. She ignites her saber and turns around, slicing whatever it is behind her. She’s swift and sharp, but nobody’s there. She frowns. “Wha…”

“Found you.”

Rey doesn’t see him. She didn’t even hear him or sense him move in on her. She just felt herself slam against the side of the Falcon. Pain struck the whole right side of her body. She heard cracks and felt herself flop to the ground like a fish.

The pain in her ribs makes the pain in her shoulder feel like a kiss from an angel. Her breaths are quick and shallow. She squints her eyes and focuses on breathing, but the more she tries the more it feels like she’s sipping through a very small straw.

Her body lifts again. She’s floating the same way she was a minute ago. She shuts her eyes again and feels out. She gathers strength. She tries to call for help and to her saber and to Ben all at once. But then she feels it again. That same pain, but worse. She’s slammed again and again against the side of the Falcon, and the last thing she remembers before she blacks out is that she can’t feel her baby’s movements anymore.

Little fish…

 

~

 

Ben passes the shells of the guards he just fought. The ones who put him in his cell. The ones who hushed each other and moved like normal men. The ones he knows were just inside their armor. As he walks over to them, he wonders what they were…Were they real? Were they Sith spirits? Is there such a thing? Am I in an underworld? No, I can’t be. I’m connected to Rey and she’s still alive. I know I read about the World Between Worlds, but is that a real place? Is that why I felt the need to tell Rey to look into it? To ask Calyn about it?

Ben moves forward, looking through the caverns and seeing visions of Rey come in and out of view. Moments he’s lived with her, and moments he’s seen. Her crying on the Falcon. Her kissing him on Exogal. Every tender moment of his life could be playing on these mysterious cavern walls and Ben would still feel so painfully alone. Without Rey by his side, nothing feels right. He can’t feel things with his whole heart because half of it is missing.

Without her, he’s painfully aware of the coldness around him. The darkness hiding in the cracks in the corners and beneath him. He doesn’t know how she does it, but she makes all the pain, in his head and all around him, disappear. He longs for her presence, and for the chance to look into her eyes and see the light she keeps blooming inside.

He stops and stares at one moment in time he’ll never forget. Rey’s hand reaching out to touch him. Through stars and space and everything and everywhere between, Rey reached out and he felt her. In that hut on Ach-To, and him on Snoke’s Star Destroyer. It was the first moment he knew he truly wasn’t alone.

A tear falls down his cheek. Then another. “I need her,” he whispers, swallowing and keeping his eyes glued to that moment as tears silently pooled down his face. He stays glued to the way her face looked so sure and excited. So forgiving and believing. His heart races like it did then, and all the feelings he has for her come bursting through him all over again, filling his body with her whispers and sighs. The taste of her lips and the way she looked at him like she’d never seen anyone so wonderful. Something he’d never felt in his entire life. A foreign feeling she only gave him. A gift that re-animated the body he was hiding inside.

Ben wipes the tears from his face and turns around. “I need to find her.” He looks all around, then spots the staircase. “I’ll find you,” he says as he bolts toward the stairs. As soon as he gets there, he stops. He doesn’t know why, but something is pulling on him. A feeling. Two feelings. Two feelings are at war inside him, and he doesn’t know what they are or what they’re doing there. All he knows is that one is screaming at him to go up the stairs, and the other one is begging him not to.

Whispers fill his ears. “Don’t go. She’ll die.”

He turns around. “What? Why?”

No one’s there.

His heart is pounding as he hovers his foot over the step. Nothing is going to happen to her because of me…it’s something in this weird place. Something is going on. It’s trying…It’s trying to keep me away from her, and I won’t have it! He puts his foot down on the step. He winces. Nothing happens. This is where I must go, he thinks as he looks up the strange staircase. It starts as stone, and then turns into tile, then some kind of hologram, and then nothing at all—maybe something made of stars…

Ben ascends the staircase. With the next few shaky steps, he reaches out, and he feels her. Ever since they kissed again, he’s felt her heart beating in his veins. It keeps him going and keeps him knowing she’s alive. He takes another step. And another. Soon, he’s made his way onto the main platform, a creeping feeling biting hard against the nape of his neck.

This is where I need to be. I know. Still…

He looks around, that uneasy feeling boiling and burbling inside him. He stays planted in one position and shifts his eyes from one side to the other. The enormous filmy membrane is a massive wall to his right. To his left, and straight ahead, is a wide-open space of white, chrome, and ominous echoes.

Something isn’t right.

Ben!

The sound of Rey’s voice pierces his chest. He can feel her grow weak, and the heartbeat of their baby grows slow.

He gasps and bolts upright, losing his footing as he steps forward. “Rey!”

His voice echoes across the large auditorium, and right away he knows he made a mistake.

The floor beneath him shakes. A low hum starts from behind. It grows louder and louder. Ben knows he should look at the source of the humming, but part of him is too horrified, knowing what he’ll see.

Without a second thought, he gulps down his fear and turns around.

Ben readies himself and watches the black fog-like wave, the size of a small skyscraper, roll towards him at lightning speed. He stands strong, ready to take this thing head-on, but inside himself he knows that once this thing gets to him, he has no idea what to do.

He doesn’t know what this thing can do or what its weaknesses are.

It doesn’t matter, though. Here it is, careening towards him and almost to his feet. He has to act.

Whatever he’s going to do, he has to do it now.

Notes:

Sorry for the delay! I've been working on multiple chapters of this at once because they're so intertwined and we're getting to the climax. I'm starting up my new author brand and romance series as well, so I've been working on that. I'll give more details so you guys can read my upcoming books if you're interested. My vampire romance, "Smoke and Mirrors", will come out spring 2021, and my paranormal romance, "The Broken Witch", will come out either late 2021 or early 2022. I'll include a link in one of these notes when things are up and running for all who are interested. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next one will be up shortly!

(Edited note to update which books are coming out when).

Chapter 17

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

Murky whispers call to the man, filling his head with directions, ideas, and hunches he’d never know himself. He looks off. A word comes to mind. Then another, and another. A planet. A location. A book. A girl. A spark lights behind his eyes. He’s swept away into a fantasy. A vision. He doesn’t know what it is, but it shows him his deepest desires and that voice whispers to him. It tells him what to do. He just needs to find that book. That girl.

The screen hisses and gets hazy, but as it comes back into focus, Ben watches as the man walks into a broken, abandoned building on a new planet. He rummages inside, whispers growing louder, more urgent, as he finds a book. A shock wave booms through Ben as he recognizes the cover. Memories flood his mind. Him in that cramped room beneath shadows, learning all he could about dyads and worlds, legends and speculations. That…that must belong to…they must have been written by whoever wrote the ones I had read…they’re ancient texts of great importance. I thought I found them all. If they get into the wrong hands…and who knows what that one holds? Something about it feels dangerous, a negative image to the ones I read. A shadow of the ones I read. A Sith book. A volume that maybe shouldn’t be read.

Ben shifts his eyes up at the foggy monstrosity keeping him tied down. It’s whirling above him, funneling out like a tornado, trapping him at the base. His arms and legs are bound by its shape-shifting arms, and somehow, its constant, rotating energy is keeping Ben from being able to use the Force. Slowly, his energy gets sucked away one second at a time. Exasperated, Ben stews over how he got into this mess. It all happened so fast. He had watched the Monster come hurdling towards him. He stood his ground, calling upon any and all Jedi in the universe to come help him. He felt power beyond his own, but not enough to escape. Maybe it was because he wasn’t in a plane where they could reach him…

There wasn’t an escape for him here. Wherever here is. Ben had no time to think. He had to act. So, using his own Force strength, paired with whatever help the Jedi could give him, he pushed against that wave, sending ripples through its wall-like body. His arms were out-stretched, his hands in almost-fists as he desperately pushed the Force against the odd creature’s body. The harder he pushed the Force at it, the more its smoggy body swelled, undulating with each powerful blow.

It wasn’t enough.

The wave collapsed onto him, making an ominous howl as it swallowed him whole. Its whirring catacomb stripped Ben of his powers and sent him smacking against the floor. Its body formed tentacle-like limbs that caught hold of his legs and laced up his body. He was stuck.

Once he got here, stuck within this odd, faceless, monster—in the very spot he tried to defend himself—screens appeared all around him, just like his first day in this weird in-between dimension. Screens just like the ones he saw Rey in, only now it followed various people all sharing the same disconcerting expression. Each one looked like someone had frozen them in place and told them a secret beyond their comprehension—a secret that mesmerized them, allured them, beyond mortal control. 

Then, he felt something, and his eyes settled on one screen. He felt a pull so strong that he knew something was uniquely wrong with the man in this screen. Even without whatever whispers were going on within his head.

The man had stringy dark hair that looked like wispy feathers splayed out around a brown-and-gray bird’s nest. Ben saw this man going from place to place. Sometimes, he could hear the words being whispered in the man’s head, and the more it spoke, the more Ben’s stomach twisted. Tighter and tighter until he could barely breathe. What girl is he looking for? It can’t be…it can’t be her. It can’t be.  

Now, Ben’s eyes narrow at the roaring creature around him. What is thing? Why is it showing me this? Returning his gaze to the screen, he swallows. The vision of the man goes foggy again. When it clears up, there are multiple men. They’re speaking. There are three of them in all. One of them is the man from before. Looking around, the men duck into a house veiled by trees. Inside, there is nothing more than a dirt floor and a table tucked into the corner. The men take a seat and begin to talk.

“Now listen,” the man from before says, “I found this book. It talks about…” he lowers his voice, “power. Beyond comprehension. We could get anything we want.”

“Come on, Zeth. How do you know this is even legit? I mean—”

“I KNOW IT! I…” he composes himself before continuing, “I know it’s true. A voice spoke to me. I know it sounds crazy, but it…it showed me things. I saw myself at the top. Eating the best dinners and having so many people catering to me...” his face falls. His eyes narrow, and he points down to the table beneath him. “We may not be here. Things will come to an end it says…it says here…” The man picks up the Sith book and fumbles through it until landing on the page he was looking for. “It says here that if this girl lives and she fulfills some kind of destiny, the ‘Force’ or whatever will be balanced in a way that won’t allow us to get what we want.”

Ben’s eyes narrow. What is he talking about? I never read anything like that. He continues watching the conversation unfold, listening to every word carefully.

The other two men look at each other. One of them has long blonde hair drifting past his collarbone. The other has a shaved head and olive skin.

“We just…” Zeth continues, “We need to do something….something that, well, ain’t too noble…but if we don’t do it soon, the opportunity will be lost forever. There’s no time to lose.”

The blonde man leans in closer. “What do we have to do? What’s this ‘dark’ deed?” he laughs, obviously still not convinced.

Zeth takes out a knife, swirls it around, points it at the blonde man, and then tosses it at the wall to the left of him. It hits it with a hollow thud. He looks back at his comrade. “We have to take out the girl. No girl. No prophecy.”

“What is this prophecy?” The third man asks.

Zeth makes a sour face and fans the air like he’s swatting away a bug. “Oh who cares. Something about her meeting up with someone to balance out the universe or something.”

The two lackeys shoot each other a look., skeptical, and confused.

The blonde man shifts his eyes to their leader. “So, you want us to kill this girl?”

Ben’s body goes cold, and a ringing buzzes in his ears.

“Yup. Pretty simple,” Zeth replies with a tight-lipped smile and making a gesture like his hand is sailing through smooth land. He continues, “Pretty clean cut. Gets us right where we need to be.” His smile turns sinister and Ben’s cold body instantly burns with boiling blood.

He’s a dead man.

He clenches his fists until they’re white. Stuck within the grasps of this monster, Ben seethes as he watches the men speak final words before the vision fades away.

How is this thing whispering to them? How is it showing people visions of grandeur while I’m tied up here? Is it taking things from my memory? Does it know about the prophecy between Rey and me? What was that guy—

Every part of Ben’s body and mind stops as another image becomes clear. It’s a ship. A ship he could never forget in a million years. Someone could wring out his brain and he’d still remember that ship.

The Millennium Falcon.

His heart makes up for the inactivity in his body as he watches that ship—the ship holding so many of his memories, and now holding the only family he has—being followed and shot at by these thugs. They shoot and move. The Falcon turns and flies faster, dodging the attacks. Then the shots hit. Again. And again. And again.

The Falcon ricochets against debris before it spirals down to a blood red planet below.

Ben leans forward like he’s going to puke and shouts from the pit of his stomach. “NO!” He thrashes about, trying to simultaneously destroy this gaseous monster and escape to save Rey. “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!” he screams as he tries to escape, “WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO GAIN?!”

The monstrous wave roars, as if laughing, as a screen comes in to view once more. Ben stops thrashing. He catches his breath as he watches more horrors unveil before his eyes.

This time it’s that first man again. Zeth. He’s preparing to leave some strange planet in an old-model TIE fighter. Ben knows Imperial ships like the back of his hand, and he knows this isn’t a real TIE fighter. For some reason, this man purchased—or made—a ship that looks like an old TIE fighter. Why would he do that?

He watches the man fly away in his new ship, clutching the Sith texts against his chest through a dark brown satchel. Ben’s eyes narrow as the man lands on the same blood red planet the Falcon had fallen on.

He shakes his head. Please…no…NO! “NO! STOP! What are you doing?! STOP HIM!” his voice cracks. Tears form in the corner of his eyes. He is moving his entire body, trying to kick himself free.

Ben can’t move. He just has to sit there and watch as his worst fears come to life before his very eyes.

He shakes his head as he watches Zeth close in on a pregnant woman in the desert. He doesn’t have to guess who she is. “REY! NO! GET OUT OF THERE!”

“Your screams will get you nowhere,” a voice hisses through the wave. Ben looks up. Brewing with anger, he yells. A yell so piercing it almost sounds like a scream. With it, he bursts through the creature’s claws and uses the energy he has to bolt away from its whirlwinds. He looks back at it and throws the Force against it so hard that it actually moves this time. His body pulses with anger and panic. He’s more motivated now than he was when he escaped the decoy shells that this monster hid behind.

It comes hurdling back towards him.

He runs toward it this time. He screams as he jumps a hundred feet in the air and blasts the creature with a bolt of energy from the Force with his hands. It blasts away like Ben unleashed an entire ocean to come crashing against it.

He controls his descent back to the ground, and once he gets there, he bolts back to the screen that still lingers in the air.

Every emotion is still fresh in his body. Anger. Hate. Stress. Love. Fright. He blinks a few times and tries to focus on what’s going on. He can’t see anything. The screen is just showing red sand. Ben watches closer, his heart pounding as he waits for even a tiny glimpse of something—anything.

Before he sees anything, he feels it.

Something’s wrong.

Rey’s lifeforce inside him grows weak. She’s calling to him, but she’s fading. It’s making him hollow, carving an empty space inside him that only she has ever been inside. Her, and now their baby. And now that too is fading. Ben has kept his son’s heartbeat nestled in a special place inside his heart since he felt him kick when he last saw Rey. They connected that day, and Ben has cherished that feeling like a jewel he keeps in his chest pocket. But now…that heartbeat is so faint Ben can’t even feel it.

Then he sees her. Lying limp on the ground. Eyes closed. Alone in the middle of the desert, on a planet she barely knows.

His body shakes. The ringing in his ears gets so loud he can’t hear himself think.

“NO!” He yells, throwing his arms out. “SOMEONE! HELP HER!” Sobs leave his lips, causing his shoulders to shake. “Please…” He bites his lip and blinks away tears. Shaking his head, he falls to his knees. “Please. Somebody. Please” He sends out the Force to where she is, as if mailing out a Jedi mind trick, hoping he can will someone to find her. His shoulders drop. He sits back on his heels and lets out a big sigh. “I have to calm myself….I have to get to her. To both of them”

Despite the way his chest is crushing his lungs, and the way his stomach is so tight he can barely move, Ben closes his eyes and takes calming breaths. His mind goes back to the day he gave her his life. He had to have this same resolve then too. But now, it has to be even stronger. Much stronger. He has to find his way to her, and then he has to do everything he can to lift her up and keep her going. And save their baby.

“Rey…”

He imagines their dreams together. The worlds he found her in, when she’d come to him in her dreams. The times they’ve been able to be free. No worries, other than the fear of departure. What if we will only ever get a departure? Ben’s chest tightens even more. No, I can’t think like that. We’ll get to each other. I’ll find her. This is what this is. Okay, Ben. Find her.

Rey.

Rey.

Can you hear me?

Rey.

Ben does this over and over again, growing stronger and calmer by the second. He does it so long that he doesn’t realize he’s completely and wholly connected to the Force until he hears her.

“Ben. Ben, I need you.”

He opens his eyes, and she’s there.

He’s there. In her bedroom like that last night. Only this time, everything’s clear. He can see every part of the room like he’s really there. He can feel the dirt beneath his fingertips and can smell the sawdust in the air. Rey’s eyes are closed and Ben can see where Zeth had hurt her and where she fell to the ground, but she’s alive, and either half awake or half asleep. Breathing peacefully.

As soon as he sees her, he feels him too. Their baby. His son. In his chest, that little heartbeat returns. It's a little faint, but it's there. 

So much joy and relief passes through him that he cries, shaking and almost laughing at the wonder of making it here. A smile spreads across his face, and through his tears he reaches out to her. He wraps his arms around her. He’s kneeling by her bedside. She’s facing him with eyes peacefully shut. He tries to control his sobs as he strokes her hair and leans down to put his mouth on her cheek. He gives her a soft kiss and whispers in her ear, “Rey. I’m here.”

His smile would have gone away if he were afraid. But he isn’t.

Now that he’s here, he knows everything will be okay.

He can feel it.

Notes:

I know there's not a lot of info about Rey and Little Fish in this chapter, but don't worry--the next chapter will be up on Monday! <3

Chapter Text

 

Everything around Rey is warm. She’s falling, but slowly, like she’s encased in water. She’s out of breath but keeps falling. Her eyes are closed. Her body’s weak. She’s alone.

She hears a baby cry.

Her eyes shoot open, stinging as the water touches her eyes. She is in water. She looks around and only sees black. What is going on?

The baby cries again.

She looks around. Little fish? She swims forward, searching for the source of the sound. She hears it again. It’s growing louder. She swims faster, harder. The louder the cries, the harder she swims. Her arms ache, but she keeps going. Soon, she sees a light. She swims towards it. It gets brighter and bigger. Almost there. She keeps going. Then, she’s there.

Her eyebrows pull together. She holds out her hand to touch the ball of light. Her finger is about to touch it when she hears someone call her name from behind.

“Rey,” he says.

Ben, she tries to say back, but when she opens her mouth, she sucks in the strange black water and starts to drown.

“Rey, I’m here,” his voice says louder, but she’s falling, faster now, like the water was suddenly sucked away and now she’s falling into a bottomless pit.

“Rey.”

Rey’s eyes close. She can’t breathe. The baby’s cries stop.

Then a hand touches hers. It grabs hold and yanks her up. The water returns, dunking her upside back into its depths. But now she has someone pulling her up to the surface. The one that won’t let her fall.

“I’m here.”

Rey’s eyes shoot open. She gasps for breath in her bed. Her sides burn and the back of her head throbs with pain. She sits up, holding her chest as she coughs.

“Rey! Are you okay?”

A hand touches her forehead. The cool sensation against her skin is both reassuring and unnerving. It soothes her aching head, but it also makes her realize how feverish she is. She’s burning up.

Her eyes slowly open, looking up toward the source of the feeling. Everything is blurry, but the more Rey blinks, the clearer her focus becomes. As the image in front of her becomes clear, her heart stops. Is she dreaming? Is this real?

“Ben?” she whispers, her voice catching in her dry throat. She sits up, dizzy with deja vu from the time he saved her on Exogal. Only this time the motion of sitting up feels like a thousand knives are cutting through her side. “Ah!” she cries, wincing as she inches her way back to the pillow beneath her.

“Be careful,” Ben says softly, gently cupping his hand on the back of her head, helping her back down. She closes her eyes and allows him to steady her. When her head gets back on her pillow, her eyes open. A smile spreads across her face. She looks up at him.

“You are real,” she says, her voice still soft and small. She coughs, but even when she takes her eyes away from him, she can feel him, and she can’t stop smiling. How is he here? She looks up at him and lifts a hand to his face.

Tears are in his eyes, and although she can tell he’s scared, a smile is wide on his face too. A smile of disbelief, and of love and longing. When her fingers touch his cheek, he closes his eyes and lets the sensation of her touch warm his entire being. He revels in the feeling of their skin touching. This is the most he’s ever felt her this entire time.   

Her fingers move along his jaw. He puts his hand over hers, begging it to stay. He opens his eyes and looks down into her caramel eyes. He studies every line of her face. Every strand of her hair. Every curve of her body. He strokes the side of her face again, and she weakly smiles in reply, her teeth barely showing. Worry sinks into his gut. She looks so tired. She’s badly injured. Yet, she’s just as happy to see him as he is to finally lay eyes on her.

They both laugh softly, hearts fluttering and stomachs light. When he reaches out to touch her face again, she takes his hand and kisses it. She looks up with a sly look in her eyes, accompanied with the dimpled smile he can never seem to get out of his mind. For a little while, things remain silent. The only sound is a crackling fire from outside. It’s well into the night, but time has stopped for them. They drink in this moment, unsure what the future holds but paying no attention to it. All that matters is this moment. They’re here together, and that’s all they care about.

Finally, Rey breaks the silence. “How are you here?” Her eyes beam up at him, but they’re tired, and her voice is hoarse. The euphoria of reaching Rey starts to subside as Ben realizes the critical condition she’s in.

“Oh Rey,” he asks, as if just now realizing she’s so unwell. “What happened? Those men…”

In Rey’s eyes, Ben starts to blur. Her body starts flashing with different waves of temperature. She opens her mouth but can’t get anything to come out.

“Oh no,” Ben says as he frantically leans over and rubs Rey’s forehead. “What’s going on? Rey, can you hear me?”  He stares down at her, panicked at what might come next. The irony of actually being with Rey and her still not being able to hear him is the cruelest joke fate has ever played on him. No, he thinks, this can’t be it. As he watches her struggle to breathe, dread solidifies in his stomach and spreads throughout his entire body. For a moment, it feels like he’s turned to stone.

“Ben,” Rey rasps. Ben’s taken aback a bit at the sound of his name on her weary lips.

“Yes?” he whispers, biting back tears, tremors of panic covering his whole body as he continues rubbing her head.

“Did you find me?” she asks. Tears pill in his eyes and quickly pool down onto Rey’s shirt—his shirt. His shoulders shake as his head falls slowly onto her chest. He tries not to cry, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t know how to answer her. He came for her, but he still hasn’t found her truly yet.

Finally, he just lets it out. All of the emotions and the sobs and cries. As soon as Rey feels his shuddering body and hears his cries—feels his tears on her chest and neck—she wraps her arms around him and holds him close. She holds him like she’s keeping him from a nasty creature that’s hunting for him. Like she’s keeping him from the pain of tomorrow, or any day where they’re not together.

She strokes his back as he calms down. Although she’s weak, she leans down slightly to kiss him on the head. He looks up at her, eyes still red and cheeks still wet, with hope and anticipation. She smiles at him. “It will be okay,” she whispers, tears silently rolling off her cheeks as she smiles. “I know it. I can feel it. I don’t know how…but…” her voice trails off and her eyes flutter closed.

Ben bolts upright, sitting back on his heels as he hovers over her. “Rey, speak to me. Rey?” He gently shakes her shoulders and feels her head. Tears crawl down his cheeks again. “No…please…not again.” His chin quivers and a lump the size of a meteor sticks, lodged, in his throat. He doesn’t let himself sob anymore. He keeps going. This can’t happen. What happens if they die? What happens if she doesn’t make it? What happens if their baby…

He swallows back his tears, pushing down the lump in his throat, and looks down at Rey’s barely moving chest. He puts his fingers along her neck and gently wipes tears away. The tears he had spilled onto her, and onto his shirt.

His shirt.

An idea pops into his head. He moves his hand along her belly, which is only slightly larger than it was the last time he saw her. He feels for the baby. He puts his ear against her, listening for the baby, feeling for him. Not just for a kick, but for the spark of the Force that he has felt in the baby and from the baby within him for a long time now. He reaches out, like he reaches for her.

He listens.

And reaches.

His eyes open. He laughs, overjoyed. “Yes,” he says, rolling his head over so his forehead stays softly against her stomach. “You’re here.” He laughs again, still feeling for their baby. He nods, speaking silently with his mind. He nods again before pulling away and getting to his feet. Carefully, he moves his body over Rey’s to get to the other side of her bed. As he moves, he carefully pushes Rey to her side so he can slide behind her. His hand makes its way over her belly again as he nestles in behind her. Before doing anything, Ben lets himself hold her for a moment. He has wanted to hold her for so long. “I love you,” he whispers, kissing her on the cheek. Then, he closes his eyes, and he feels through the Force.

Light shine through his mind, radiating in his eyelids and filling his body with strength and warmth. Everything becomes static. Electricity sizzles within him as he reaches for his little helper. He smiles when he feels the little spark. “That’s my boy,” he says, and the two of them reach out towards Rey’s soul, which lives within both of theirs.  

An enormous wave of electricity burns, white hot, against Ben’s hand. “Ah!” he says, waving his hand as he pulls away.

“Ben?”

His heart gives one big thump.

Then it races.

He looks over to Rey’s face, and she looks better than ever. “Rey,” he breathes and covers her body with his. “I thought I lost you,” he says, burying his face in her neck.

“I honestly thought I was lost too…I don’t know where I was…how did you save me? What happened?”

Ben sat back so he could look at Rey’s expression as he told her. “Well…I did something that I’d never even heard of before, but I knew as soon as it came to my mind that it would save you. I…I reached out to our son through the Force. And…he heard me.” Ben watches as Rey smiles an open-mouth smile.

“What?” she asks in disbelief, tears welling in her eyes. She laughs softly. “Little Fish saved me?” she says, processing the information. Her smile softens to one any mother can recognize, another tear falling down her face. “Just like his daddy.”

Ben’s smile is even wider as he leans down and kisses her. Feeling her mouth on his in this moment is the most satisfying thing he has ever felt. He wishes he could scoop Rey up and keep her with him forever. He wishes they could be one forever, and never part again. He stops kissing her for a moment to put his forehead on hers and asks, “Little Fish?”

Rey laughs self consciously. “Ha, yeah, I-I didn’t know what to call him. I want to wait until we see him to name him, and he feels like a little fish in my belly. So…I just started calling him that one day and just never thought twice about it.” She laughs again and looks up into Ben’s eyes. He’s smiling even wider somehow.

“I love it,” he says, leaning back down to kiss her. Her lips are like the home and belonging he searched for his entire life. Everything about Rey spells “Home” to Ben. Every word she speaks. Every flash of sparks she sends his way with just a glance, or a smile. The way she holds him, helping him know that it’s okay to be vulnerable—that it’s okay to be taken care of and to take care of in return. Every movement. The taste of her lips… Every time he tastes her, his mind goes blank. Nothing else matters. He just knows he’s home.

Rey lets herself melt into Ben. Her arms wrap around him and she dives into his kiss. To Rey, tasting him is like touching fire that doesn’t burn you. Sparks burn throughout her body, and she gives in to its celebrations. His hands follow her every move as she sits up on top of his lap and pushes him against the wall. She grabs his face and kisses him so deeply she feels like she could never be closer to him than she is right now. She lets her hands drop as she pulls away from his face.

Ben looks into her eyes. The intensity and desire exuding from his dark gaze melts Rey and casts a spell upon her body. Entranced, she closes her eyes and lets herself falls into his arms. A smile flickers on her face as she feels him kiss up her neck as his mouth carefully finds its way to hers. When it does, she kisses him back and spreads her fingers into his hair. They kiss until light tumbles in from the window behind them.

Slowly, they pull apart and nestle back down on Rey’s bed, this time facing each other, huddled in their own little world. As much as they wish this moment together would never end, the brightening light spilling into the room was a harsh reminder that time hadn’t stopped after all. The war against them wasn’t over yet.  

“What now?” Rey asks, trailing her finger over his lips and down his chin. Her skin is hot, and her head is light. Everything she’s ever felt for Ben is bursting out of her, and she wishes she could feel him even more. She wishes she could sink right into him. She longs to have this baby and feel Ben’s touch against her even more.

“Get to Taru,” Ben says, and Rey blushes as she returns to the conversation at hand. He continues, “I’ll be with you. Tell me where to go and what to do, and I’ll do it.” When he speaks, she can feel his breath on her skin. She can smell exactly how he always smelled to her. A scent she can’t quite identify but knows she loves.

Why couldn’t they just be together already?

“Okay,” she says, trying to hide her giddy smile.

Ben’s laughs. “What is it?”

Rey shakes her head, “Nothing!” She laughs.

“Okay then,” he laughs. “Well, let’s get to it.” He puts his hand on her stomach and lightly rubs it. “Let’s beat the clock and find each other before Little Fish is born.” He winks.

Rey’s smile spreads along her flushed skin. “Yes, let’s.”

He looks down at her endearingly. He leans down to kiss her one last time, and just as their lips meet, a pounding resounds at her bedroom door. They both look up. Before they can say or do anything, a woman bursts through the door, huffing and puffing. It’s Alor.

“Rey,” she says, clearly not able to see Ben, “You gotta go. They’re looking for you.”

Rey looks to Ben, panicked. “No, I can’t—”

He picks her hands up and holds them in his, like he did before, and looking directly into her eyes he says, “You can. You can do anything. You’re the strongest Jedi in any galaxy. You defeated Palpatine. You saved me from myself. You can do anything. Now, really quick—I need you to know that I need you too. Please reach out to me as much as you can, and—”

“Rey, I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, but you gotta go—”

“Okay!” Rey snaps back. She holds out a hand as if pushing herself back and says, “I’m sorry. I’ll be right there. Can I just have a minute?”

“Sure, I gotta get something anyway. Hurry. Get your things.” Alor ducks out of the doorway and leaves.

Rey looks back at Ben. “Be safe,” she says, “I don’t know what it’s like where you are, but be safe.”

Ben nods, rubbing his thumb along her fingers. “I will. You promise me that too.”

“Of course,” Rey says.

Ben smiles. “Good.”

The sounds of blasters become clear from outside the hut.

“Come to me soon,” Ben says, and he gives her one last kiss and drifts away. Rey’s hand holds the side of his face until he disappears.

Then she’s alone.

The loss of Ben’s presence is palpable, but she has no time to be swept up in her sorrow. It’s time to go.

She gets to her feet and starts to stretch.

Don’t worry, Ben. I’ll find you.

~

As Rey fades away from Ben’s view, she is replaced with the grisly view of the last thing he wanted to see. The Monster. The one made of fog and shadows. It lets out its gong of ominous noises as Ben takes a few careful steps back.

Rey. Please hurry.

Chapter Text

Rocks and pieces of metal skim the air in front of Rey, almost hitting her as she and Alor dodge blasts on their way out of the hut. Blasters continue shooting through the walls, crumbling the entirety of Alor’s shop and home. Rey hurries to get the two of them out of the wreckage. She wants to apologize for the woman’s house and tell her that she’ll come back and help her after everything is said and done, but she can’t. Not right now. She has to make sure they’re safe. A broken house is nothing compared to death, so she grabs the old woman and leads her behind the counter at the front of her shop’s open entryway. “Stay here. I’ll handle this.”

The woman’s eyes bulge as she finally gets a good look at Rey. “How are you doing so well? You were so hurt, and your stomach—”

“I can’t explain right now. Just stay here.” Rey turns and races out of the shop. She spots the man who hurt her—who almost killed both her and her baby. He shoots at her, but that doesn’t stop her from bolting around his blasts and running towards him. He keeps trying to hit her. “BACK DOWN! I WON’T HURT YOU IF YOU BACK. DOWN.” Rey yells and slides beneath another blast. The man just laughs and shakes his head. Panic fills the air around her. She doesn’t like hurting people, but she has to save her baby and herself, and then Ben.

With her amplified health and strength just given to her by Ben and her baby, she races towards the man at full speed. Letting out a strong yell, Rey uses the Force to strike him down. The closer she gets, the more she can make out his face. He looks rough—cuts gashed along his cheek and neck, where his kerchief isn’t covering, and his hands look burned and rubbery—one of them is using the blaster while the other clutches the strange book. His shot nicks Rey’s shoulder, but she holds out her hand and blasts him with lightning—something she hasn’t done for a very long time. Something she never wanted to do again. But she has no choice.

The man shivers as the lightning crawls over him. He falls to his knees and then collapses onto the ground. The book falls from his hands. Rey rushes to his body and grabs the book. Something about this book isn’t right... the way those clouds behaved around him…and…why didn’t he kill me when he had the chance? she tucks the book in her shirt and looks up at the sky. This is all so strange. I wonder what this book is… she starts to feel its cover beneath the side of her shirt but stops when static bites her fingertips. “Ouch!” Rey sucks on her finger and focuses on moving forward. I’ll just ask Calyn. It’s probably best I don’t poke at it on my own.

Rey picks up her pace and finds her way to Alor. She walks into the open shop and holds a hand out to Alor behind the counter. “You’re okay,” she says to the woman, smiling softly. Alor looks like she’s seen a thousand ghosts, but she takes Rey’s hand and gets to her feet.

“I…I want to know what happened, but we don’t have time,” Alor says, “The queen will be searching for you. I don’t know what she’ll have done to you. She may have you work yourself to death to pay for everything, and then you’ll never leave.”

Another roaring of a ship flying through the sky overhead interrupts their conversation. The sand whirls up like a dusty cloud reaching up to the sky. Rey’s swallows hard. “I don’t think I should stay anyway.” She looks directly at Alor and says, “I am so sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused.”

“Never mind that,” the woman says, her kind eyes sparkling, “Let’s just get you out of here.”

Rey frowns. “How?”

Alor motions out to the desert and says, “Go to your ship. I know where it is. I’ve seen you sneak off in that direction many times.” A wry smile shows on the old woman’s face, causing the corners of Rey’s mouth to turn up too.

She laughs. “You saw me?”

“Of course I did,” Alor shrugs, “it was none of my business.” She winks at Rey.

Tears shimmer in Rey’s eyes. She throws her arms around the woman and gives her a tight hug. “Thank you for everything.”

Alor pats her back and says, “Of course. Now go. I’ll see you soon.”

Rey nods, and without another word, she heads out towards the Falcon.

The closer she gets, the longer the trek feels. It’s hard to run on a planet with nothing but sand and dirt. Nothing to look at but where you’ve been and where you have to go. The sun blazes behind her, soaking into the black shirt she refuses to take off these days.

Finally, she arrives at the Falcon. She knocks against its door and calls out to BB-8. “BB-8! It’s me! Please hurry and let me in!” She hears some tinkering and clashes and clangs, and then the mouth of the ship opens. She climbs up the ramp and sees BB-8 chirping happily at her. She smiles back and climbs up the ramp. “Good to see you, friend,” she says, rubbing the droid heartily before adjusting his antennae. IQ-39 hobbles in.

“Oh, Miss Rey. I did not know you would be here.”

Rey gives him a sad smile. “I know I haven’t been here much. I’m so sorry for that. And…” she sighs, “I have to leave this place.” She shakes her head and then bites her thumbnail. “I don’t know what to do. What will you guys do? I need to get my things, and then we can figure it out.” She rushes through the corridors before finding her bag and extra clothes. She opens the bag and counts the food rations inside. “Okay. That should be enough.” She looks around. “Where’s my saber?”

Oh no. Rey remembers it rolling out of her hand in the sand. When that man hurt her.

“Oh no. I have to go find that.” Panic fills her. “I need my saber. I can’t afford to not bring it with me. And if it gets into the wrong hands…or if a child finds it…” she grabs her head. Her chest tightens.

BB-8 rolls over to her and beeps against her leg. IG-39 comes in behind him, saying, “Not to worry. Someone retrieved it. You can go find them.”

Rey’s eyes widen. “What? Who? What did they look like?”

IQ-39 stares blankly at her and says, “They are outside the ship, Miss Rey.”

Her brows furrow. “What?” She makes her way back to the ramp and sees Alor hobbling up. Relief washes through her. “Oh thank goodness,” she sighs. When Alor hands it to her, she asks, “How did you find it? And…actually, come to think of it, how did you find me? How did you know where I was when I got knocked out? I could have died out there, but you found me…all I remember is waking up and seeing…” Ben, she wanted to finish, but decided it would be too complicated to explain.

Alor smiles, but something about her face reads confusion. “I actually don’t know. I just had this feeling. This urgency. I was guided and I found you. It was so strange. I was working on fixing a speeder when I heard a man’s voice, and you lying on the ground appeared in my mind. I knew exactly where to go and everything. Quite strange.”

Rey smiles. Ben. Her heart swells. How many times will you save me before I save you? She puts her hand against her chest and feels his shirt against her skin. It’s the closest thing she has to him holding her for now. She cherishes the feeling every moment she has time to stop and think about it.

“Now,” Alor says, breaking Rey from her thoughts, “I…I have a ship you can leave on.” She casts her eyes to her wrinkled hands, which are folded together in front of her. “My granddaughter and I worked on it together. We worked on it every day before she left to brave the galaxy on her own.” Her sad, thoughtful expression makes Rey realize this isn’t just an ordinary ship. “I would have let you take it to begin with…if it wasn’t so special to me. I guess I just always thought she’d come back, and we’d finish it together. I finished it myself a few weeks back. I ship like that shouldn’t go unused anyway.”

Rey shakes her head. “No, I completely understand why you wanted to keep it. It’s yours. It’s a part of you, and a part of your heart and memory. And…I know what it’s like to wait for someone you fear will never come back, but I’m sure your granddaughter will come home to you. Either way...you can’t let me take it.” It pains Rey to say these last few words, but she knows what this ship must mean to Alor.

The old woman shakes her head. “No, Rey, you need this now. This ship can finally go somewhere. I tested it, so I know it works, but it wasn’t ready in time for Era to take it. We…we were going to explore the galaxy together one day. She and I were very close. She had a rough upbringing, but…we were close. She was like a child to me.” She lets out a long sigh and looks up at Rey. “You know how kids are when they grow up, though. They all want to venture into the galaxy and make it their own.” Her eyes drift a bit as she says, “I hope she comes back soon.” A couple tears fall down her cheeks.

Rey takes her hands and looks into her eyes. “If she’s as close to you as you say she is, she will come back. I promise you that.” Alor smiles and nods, letting out a tight laugh. “And I’ll bring this ship back to you,” Rey says, then adds with a smile, “And we can trade. Ship for ship. I’ll miss mine in the meantime too. It’s special to me as well.” The two women share a quiet moment together, both silently building the strength they need to take the next step forward. It won’t be easy, but they know what they have to do.

“Okay,” Rey says finally, picking up her bag. “I’m off. Oh!” She turns around to look at her droid companions. “BB-8. IQ-39…I think this journey will be too risky for you…I’m so sorry. I wish I could take you with me. I wish I could get the others to find you here. Is there a way you can signal to Poe and Finn here on the Falcon?”

“Negative,” IQ-39 says at the same time as BB-8’s sad beeps, “We have tried to fix the radio, but there is no signal.”

“I can help with that,” Alor says, “I have strong radios at my shop that hold strong signals. I can get them out here and help your friends with the radio.” She smiles at Rey.

“Thank you so much. How will I ever repay you?” Rey says, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Get to your sweetheart. Be happy and free. And come back here so I can meet him, and so we can exchange our ships,” she adds a wink at the end.

Rey smiles back and nods, “I will. It’s a promise.”

After bidding goodbye to her friends on the Falcon, Rey follows Alor to the ship she made with her granddaughter. The trip proved to be anything but short, but once they caught sight of it, Rey beamed, her eyes shining brightly at the large ship sitting on the horizon. It’s shaped like an enormous dome, but the top of it is covered with heavy metal, likely for protection against blasts as well as against the sun while sitting here on Geonosis. It has four wings—two on each side—and a tail on the back that split out on both sides. “It’s amazing!” She says, “When you said you and your granddaughter worked on a ship together, I had no idea it would be one of this size!”

“Yeah, well, don’t let its size fool you,” Alor says, “It can only carry two passengers and can’t do much but fly. Don’t get into any trouble out there, because there are no blaster cannons on it. The rest of the ship was made for sleep, recreation, and cargo, but since Era left before we planned any trips, it doesn’t have anything inside but dust, sand, and flat, hard surfaces.”

Rey smiles and puts a hand on Alor’s shoulder. “It’s perfect.”

They reach the ship, and Alor pushes a button from a control pad in her hands. “This is a little rudimentary, but it’s effective to easily open and close the ship when it’s on land. I suggest you take it in case you need to leave anywhere in a hurry.” She hands the device to Rey, who puts it in her bag and slings everything over her shoulder.

“Thank you,” she says. She looks up at the open ship and says, “Well. This is it.”

“Oh, one more thing,” Alor says, rummaging through a knapsack at her side. “I almost forgot to give you this.” She pulls out Rey’s saber and hands it to her.

Rey nearly soars off the ground at the sight of it. “Oh, thank you so much! I was so scared I’d lost it.”   

“It was quite a few feet from where you’d been lying, but I managed to keep it protected. I packed it in the speeder I traveled to you on.” Rey smiles one last time at the kind old woman who did so much for her here and then bends down to hug her. They share one last embrace, and then Rey hops into the ship. Alor shouts out some tips on getting it started, and Rey follows obediently. When she gets the hang of all the knobs and levers, she closes the top and starts it up.

As the engine roars beneath her, Rey thinks of how far she’s come and how this is the moment she’s been waiting for. She worked for so long, always fearing she’d never leave—that she’d never be able to see Ben again. But now here she is. Ben has visited her multiple times and she’s leaving to go get him.

“Life is good right now. Don’t you think so, Little Fish?” she says, lightly grazing her stomach as the ships hovers above the ground. Rey’s eyebrows flicker and her mouth scrunches a bit. She puts both hands on the steering wheel. That’s strange. My stomach is so much bigger than it was yesterday. A lot bigger. Was it even this big an hour ago?

Rey can hear Alor shouting up to her, asking if she’s all right. Rey gives her a thumbs up, then readies the ship to go into hyperspeed.

She shrugs. “I guess that’s pregnancy,” she says and presses the final button. Steering the ship upward, she braces herself as the engine roars and the ship shoots up into the sky. Then off she goes, tearing through the atmosphere of Geonosis and into the stars.

Chapter Text

 

“I said out past the Arkanis Sector. No—that way!”

“I was just in the Arkanis Sector!” Rey snaps back.

Rey didn’t know what she was doing. She didn’t know how to get to Taru. So, she did the only thing she could do. She enlisted in the enlightened help of the Jedi who came and passed on before her. Unfortunately, Luke isn’t the best backseat driver.

What have I done…she thinks as she continues pushing and pulling levers and controls.

“Come on, kid, I said go left!” Luke says from somewhere on Rey’s shoulder. She can’t see him, but she can hear him. Unfortunately.

“You did not say left…” Rey says through gritted teeth, pulling the lever to her right and hitting a pedal with her left foot. The spherical ship bounces uneasily.

“You’re doing that weird thing again!” Luke says, flitting a hand in her line of sight. So I can see him. Rey sighs.

“I can’t help it!” Rey shouts back, nearly growling at this point. “I’m not used to this ship! It’s designed so…so—”

“WATCH OUT!”

Rey screams and swerves past an enormous asteroid barreling in her line of sight. She spins in circles before properly stopping. Once she gains control of the ship again, she lets out a big breath she’d been holding in. Her heart beats rapidly, and her baby is dancing in her belly. She smiles and puts a hand on where she can feel him kicking. Her eyebrows rise in surprise, and a smile widens on her face, when she sees her belly stretch a little with his extended foot. “Wow,” she whispers, gently pressing her fingers against his foot. Tears glisten in her eyes as she holds her hand there for a moment, letting a warm rush of maternal love fill every single inch inside her.

She revels in the moment until a soft voice says the only two words that could make this moment even happier: “We’re here.”

Rey looks up with a gasp. In front of her, not so far off but not extremely close, is a planet with lush green covering its entire body. She reluctantly takes her hand off her belly and puts both hands on the steering levers. She pushes on the pedals of the ship and presses against the steering levers. She moves closer, now in a clear starry sky, and watches as this green planet grows bigger. It’s a straight shot to Taru.

She smiles and turns her head toward Luke’s voice. She sees him sitting in the co-pilot’s seat, smiling as softly as he last spoke. Rey wipes the tears from her eyes and says, “So you are here. It’s not just your voice.”

He shakes his head, smiling slightly, and says, “No. I’m here.” His eyes drop to her stomach and then back up to her. He looks at her with paternal love in his eyes and says, “You better hurry and get down there, kid. We’re all counting on you.”

Rey rolls her eyes teasingly. “Great. No pressure.”

“Well…there’s a little pressure,” Luke says with a sly expression, “Buuut we’re here for you if you need us.”

She laughs softly and then turns her eyes to the planet. It’s green is a nice change of pace from all the planets she’s been on over the better part of a year. She takes a deep breath in and then lets it out, bracing herself for what’s to come.

“You’ll do great, kid,” Luke says. Rey looks to him, still holding in the anxiety that’s begging to break out of her. She nods stiffly. It will be okay. It will all be okay. I’m almost there.

She exhales. Okay. I got this. She turns to Luke with a soft smile of reassurance. “Thank you. For everything.” He nods, and then he fades away. Rey watches as he disappears, knowing that as soon as he’s gone, she’s on her own again. Her heart pounds against her chest, and her baby starts pounding against her belly, as if reminding her that he’s here too.

She laughs. “Oh, I know you’re here too, Little Fish. Don’t worry.” She rubs her stomach, still chuckling to herself. “You’re just like your daddy already, do you know that?” Another set of kicks thump against her. She laughs even harder and puts her hands on the controls. “Well, let’s go get him. He deserves in on this.” Rey pushes on the pedal and heads straight for Taru.

It doesn’t take long to get there. Before Rey can even get her thoughts or plan straight, she’s diving through the atmosphere and frantically looking for a place to land. “This thing’s a monstrosity on this planet! There are so many trees…Agh!” She swerves up and around trees, knocking the tops off some and the branches off others.

Finally, a clear heather appears. “Okay, this is our chance,” she says, bracing herself for the landing. She pulls up on the levers and eases on the pedal, gliding down onto the grassy ground beneath. She takes off her seat belts and picks up her bag. She slings it over her back and loops it around both arms like a backpack. It fits perfectly over Ben’s shirt. Rey looks down gratefully at the shirt. Not only has it served as a connection to her with Ben’s body and memory, but it has provided her with clothing that actually fits her during her pregnancy. I should probably think about getting more clothes…

She opens the hatch and steps out of the ship. “Oops! Can’t forget this!” she says, leaning into the cockpit and picking up the remote control Alor had given here. She tucks it into her back while pressing the button to close up the ship. When she’s done she looks at the planet in front of her. If a place had to be deemed the complete opposite of planets like Geonosis, Tattooine, and Jakku, it would be this place. Green trees scatter the horizon, which is painted a beautiful light blue, and Rey stands in a lush field of sweet-smelling grass. The ground feels like an adventure at every footstep, and the air breathes like nothing Rey ever had before.  

After taking in the scenery, Rey closes her eyes and feels for Ben.

Can you hear me? Can you feel me? Us?

She waits. She doesn’t get a response. Usually, she’d keep trying, but she’s in a hurry, and she knows who she needs to try for next.

She closes her eyes again. Luke. Where can I find Calyn?

Still nothing. She opens her eyes. “Oh well…I—”

Rey. Just ask around. People know her here.

Luke. Rey rolls her eyes, but she can’t help but smile. She closes them again and thinks, Thank you.

Don’t mention it, she hears back.

She shakes her head and laughs to herself as she walks into the woods.

 

It’s nearly sunset by the time Rey finds any sign of people living here. She found countless animal species she’d never seen before, and insects, but no people. Until now. She walks through a thicket of trees and into a small space within the sea of trees. Within this ovular patch of green are shopping stands, all lined up one right after the other, making up one wide ring. Rey’s eyes narrowed. “What is this? A marketplace?”

Many people are leaving the site, while a few others are cleaning up at the stands. Likely the shop owners, Rey thinks as she approaches one of them. “Hi! Do you know where I can find a woman by the name of Calyn?” The person grunts. It’s a woman. She has beautiful purple skin and blue hair that cascades down her back like a waterfall. She’s carefully packing away various handmade ornaments, likely to be sold the next day. Rey opens her mouth to speak again when something next to the woman’s arm catches her eye.

It’s a tiny pendant made of stone. It’s no bigger than a coin but is finely detailed and carved into the shape of a heart. The two sides of the heart have been whittled down to the width of a stick and have been painted silver, with wide curves dipping in the middle where the two halves meet. The part that catches Rey’s eye the most is the little red heart that’s carved inside, perfectly encased within the other two halves of the big heart around it. It’s us, Rey thinks as she leans in closer. It’s our little family. She stares at the heart, memorizing the piece entirely. It’s so simple, but so striking. A thin silver heart, two sides meeting and fusing together, and a little, solid red heart inside, keeping them all from breaking apart.

The Tarunian woman takes the heart and leans over to put it in her bag with the rest of her creations. “No! Wait! How much are you selling that heart for?”

The woman stops, still bent over, and looks back at Rey. She speaks in a language Rey doesn’t understand. “Oh, um,” Rey points to the heart and digs in her bag. She finds some of the extra money she accrued on Geonosis (that she thankfully didn’t have to use to get away) and shows the woman. She chooses one of the coins to hold up and points at the heart pendant while showing the woman the currency. After turning around to get a proper look at Rey and her money, the lady shakes her head and points at the hand with the rest of the coins in it. Rey nods and puts another coin in her hand. She holds up the two coins, but the woman shakes her head. Rey shakes her head in return and shrugs. Well, I can’t afford more than two because I have to be able to eat and drink. Plus, who knows what will happen from now until I see Ben. The thought sends flutters through her chest. She’s about to put the money away when the Tarunian woman holds out her hand and shakes it, saying, “No, no, no.” She smiles and opens up her hand to receive Rey’s coins. Rey beams. She hands over the coins and takes the little hearts. She holds it against her chest for a small moment before putting it safely within her bag.

When her bag is situated on her back again, she asks again, “Do you know where I can find a woman named Calyn?”

The woman puts the money in the sack she’s been filling. She sighs, “I…do know that name.”

“You speak Galactic Standard?”

The woman laughs and nods, “Yes, I do.” She continues putting her shop inside her bag. Rey fidgets in place.

“So…do you know where I can find—”

“Yes, yes. ‘Calyn’. I heard you. I have heard of such a woman but have never met her myself. You’d have better luck going into town and talking to the people there.”

Rey beams. “Great! Can you take me there?” The woman stops and looks at Rey with an expression that reads, ‘you’ve got to be kidding me.’ “Oh, and what’s your name, by the way?”

The woman finishes putting the last item from her shop into her bag and heaves it onto a small wooden cart. “I’m Liliea,” she says gruffly, starting to pull her cart into the opposite direction from which Rey came.

“Oh, let me help you with that!”

Liliea snorts. “How’s a pregnant woman with skinny little arms going to—”

Rey pushes one hand through the air and lifts the cart completely off the ground, and a good ten feet in the air. Liliea’s jaw drops. She looks at Rey like she’s seen a ghost. “What are you?”

Rey smiles. “I’m just Rey. I’m a Jedi.”

Liliea exhales. “Well. If you can keep up, you can follow me to town.” She eyes her cart in the air, both shocked and impressed. “And…thank you.”

“Of course,” Rey says with her cheery dimpled smile.

It doesn’t take them nearly as long as Liliea made it sound to get to town.  Once they get there, Rey helps her get the cart to an inconspicuous spot before lowering it to the ground. “Thank you,” Liliea says again. “Now, I think that Dev in the pub can help you. Go talk to him.”

“Thanks. Take care of yourself, Liliea.” The woman smiles and nods softly.

“You too, Jedi.”

When Rey heads into the middle of town, she’s surprised at how loud it is. For such a small population, they sure generate enough noise to get to keep up with planets like Coruscant. She winces as she weaves through crowds of people. The town is made of solid houses covered in wood. The restaurants and shops are all made with the same material. Rey thinks of the small shop circle Liliea was selling her trinkets at. I wonder if that’s a secret place they sell things at without any taxes or trouble, or if it’s designated for the selling of lavish goods not seen as necessities.

After longer than she would have expected, Rey finally makes it to the one pub in town. It’s filled with lively Tarunian villagers—laughing, yelling, and playing music.

“Can I help you?” a deep, toad-like voice asks from behind. Rey turns around. The man is about seven feet tall and looks just as toad-like as he sounds, with a large, drooping mouth and bulging eyes.

“Y-yes,” Rey stutters, “I’m looking for someone named Dev.”

“AH!” he booms. “That’d be me!”

“Oh, okay, great!” Rey smiles, relieved not to have to search the entire pub. “So, can you tell me where to find Calyn?”

The man lets out a loud croak. “Ooh another outsider looking for Calyn. Yeah…well…she’s in the heart of the forest. Lives in a little hut somewhere over there. Hardly anyone can find the kriffin’ thing. Anyway, I can have one of these ingrates find her for you. EY!! EEEEY!!! Any of you want to escort this lovely lady to Calyn’s?” The entire pub stops simultaneously. Every eye is on Rey.

Her stomach drops. “Um…you know what, I-uh I think I can probably find it—” she starts to say.

“AH, don’t be shy. I’ll send you with Jarv. JARV! You and Harry should go now before it gets any darker!” Dev shouts so loudly a ringing pierces Rey’s eardrum. Two raggedy-looking men rush over to them, knocking over mugs of frothy liquid and chairs on their way. Both men have dark blue hair and the same skin color as Liliea. One is so scrawny that Rey can see his bones beneath his shirt, and the other is almost as thin, but he’s wearing an odd, puce-colored ruffled cloak so bulky it’s hard to tell.

“Oh yeah, we can show her to Calyn’s,” the skinnier one says, looking at Rey like she’s something to eat. Nausea pills in Rey’s gut. These guys better not be as shady as they seem, or they’ll have the same fate as that kerchief man back on Geonosis.  

“Greeeat!” Dev says blandly, turning back around. “I have too much time to deal with these outsiders,” he mutters. Rey narrows her eyes at the two men as they awkwardly totter past her and motion for her to follow them out of the pub. As she follows them out of the pub, she discreetly motions for her lightsaber in her bag, her arms straight at her sides. She feels it jostle.  

She fakes a smile as they look back at her every couple minutes. They’re well into the woods when the man in the bulky cloak asks her, “So, what’s in the bag?”

Rey flinches. “Um…my clothes and things. Why do you ask?”

“No reason…” he says, and then lets out a small “ow!” when the other one—Jarv, Rey gathered—jabbed him in the side.

Maybe it’s the exhaustion Rey’s been forced to endure these last few months, or maybe the baby is sucking the common sense right out of her at times, but it finally dons on Rey that she can just use a simple Jedi mind trick to keep these goons in line if necessary. She may just use it now…

“So, you’re Jarv I take it?” she tasks the taller, skinnier one.

The two men whisper frantically to one another, consulting each other on what to say. Finally, the taller one speaks. “Yes, I am. And…I think we’re here.”

Rey looks around. No one’s there. They’re in the middle of the woods. Rey shoots a dark look at him. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. How can we be at Calyn’s?” she mutters through gritted teeth. The two men walk towards her now. Rey isn’t afraid. She just doesn’t have time for this. She needs to find Calyn.

“Yeah, well, maybe I was mistaken,” Jarv says, clenching his yellowed teeth together as his eyes make way to Rey’s backpack.

The other man says, “Well, to be fair, this is where we’ve heard her living.” Jarv pushes his friend’s face.

“Shut up, Len! You wanna get the stuff or not?”

Rey groans. “I can hear you, I can smell you, I can see what you are going to do. Stop playing games, or I’ll be forced to do things I don’t want to do. Now, take me to Calyn.” She waves her hand over both of the men’s faces. They nod and continue walking. Rey smiles and follows them, proud of herself and at the general direction things are going in. It doesn’t last long, though, because it only takes about ten minutes before Rey realizes the men are just walking in circles.

This must mean they actually don’t know where they’re going. She sighs. “So, let me guess. You have no clue who Calyn is or where she’s located.”

“Oh, no, we know Calyn. She’s a seer, I think,” Jarv says.

“She’s not a seer,” Len says, slapping Jarv’s shoulder, “She’s a fortune teller.”

“She’s not a fortune teller, you idiot.”

“Who are you calling an idiot? Dev said she knows the future!”

“That’s what a seer is!” Jarv grunts, lifting his arms in exasperation.

“Where does she live?” Rey asks, still following the men, just in case they know more than they’re letting on.

“I don’t know,” both say in unison. Rey stops, her face going blank.

Sighing, she lifts her hand and asks, “Were you going to steal my stuff? Tell me the truth?”

“Yes,” both say in unison.

Her shoulders drop. The goons led me on a false journey, and I have no plan to fall back on. What now?

A squeaking sound breaks Rey away from her thoughts. She looks down to see a small, bird-like creature with a chubby body and tiny beak. It’s double the size of a porg but just as cute. “Aw,” Rey says, trying to bend down and then remembering she can’t. She frowns and looks down at her stomach. “Okay…I was not this big a few hours ago. I know it.” The bird squawks and flies off the ground, snatching Rey’s bag in its beak. It’s the fastest flying creature of that size Rey has ever seen. “You too?! AGH! Is there anyone—or anything—around here that doesn’t want to steal anything I have off my back?!” She pulls the bag back to her through the Force and watches as it tumbles towards her. Right before it gets to her hand, her lightsaber and new trinket fall out onto the ground.

Rey is contemplating how to best bend to get her stuff when someone says, “Only the shady ones.” Rey turns around to see a woman half the size she is and with hair twice as long braided at her sides. She is so wrinkled and withered she looks about the same age as Maz. Rey gasps.

“Come,” the woman says, picking up Rey’s lightsaber and pendant and handing it to her, “I’ve been waiting for you.”

*

“How long have you known?” Rey asks, holding a teacup in her hands, letting its warmth soak into her palms.

Calyn waddles through her kitchen and to the table, bringing Rey a plate of steaming hot food. Mashed potatoes, bread, and a side of some kind of meat stew. Rey’s stomach audibly growls. Calyn laughs.  “I made this for you right before I heard all that racket outside, ha-ha! And, uh, how long have I known what, dear? That you were coming?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Rey hums as she shovels her mouth full of potatoes.

Calyn laughs again. “Slow down so you don’t choke, dear! There’s plenty of food. Haha…and oh, I have known for a long time.”

Rey swallows and looks at the older woman thoughtfully. “Like…for a year or…longer?”

The woman’s mouth cracks into a small smile. “Well, I suppose I’ve known for decades, but I only knew it was you recently.”

Rey scoops up more food, but her mind is elsewhere. “Knew what?”

The woman sits quietly smiling as Rey takes another bite. “The prophecy of the Dyad who will bring balance to the Force. It’s you, Ben Solo, and your little one.”

Rey doesn’t know what to do. Should I ask what she knows? Do I start by asking where Ben is and how to find him, or do I talk about everything that happened just to make sure she knows what’s going on? Just in case she’s not getting us confused with someone else...not likely, but still…it’s better to be safe than sorry, right?

Calyn places a thin hand on Rey’s knee. It has a surprising amount of warmth for being so little. Rey snaps out of her thoughts and immediately opens her mouth to say something, but the older woman raises her hand as if to shush her. “Calm yourself, child. I can sense your distress. Now, it’s getting quite late. I’m sure you’re tired from your journey and need a place to rest for the night. Place stay here. I made the bed up for you before you came. And don’t worry about me—I’m going to sleep on my couch. It’s quite cozy there, and I don’t sleep much.”

“But I need answers—”

“And the answers will still be here tomorrow. And, just to be clear, I don’t have all the answers. I just have a lot of years of experience and knowledge that my mind doesn’t allow me to forget, and I have a gift that allows me to understand things others don’t. This sometimes comes in the form of seeing the future and having feelings one may consider being from the Force. I believe it is, but I am no Jedi. I simply use the Force a little differently is all. With all of this combined, I can help you. Just remember that I don’t know what will happen in your future. I can only tell you what I know. Luckily, I’ve read many ancient texts and have been around long enough to learn of prophecies and secrets most people will never know. Because of this, I know I can help you. I hope the Force can make up for whatever I lack.”

Rey takes this all in, surprised at how much information the woman gave her right off the bat. She probably wants me to understand so I don’t make any mistakes. She obviously knew I was coming, so she’s probably been preparing to help me and to know what to say.

“I’m good at reading people too.” Calyn sits back in her chair and picks up her teacup and takes a sip. “A gift that comes with age.” Rey nods slowly. She can practically read my mind. Well, I guess she might be able to because she has the Force, but…she said it’s different with her.

“Calyn, how do you use the Force differently than a Jedi?” Rey asks, moving forward in her seat. Calyn keeps sipping her tea, letting the moment grow quiet. The ticking of a clock makes itself apparent in the silence, emanating from the quiet sitting room behind them.

The wise Force-user puts down her cup and looks over to Rey. “Now, what did I say about questions?” She winks and scoots herself off her small wooden chair. She hobbles over the stones in her kitchen and starts rummaging through her pantry. Rey remains seated but looks around the room. Calyn’s entire home is this small room, which consists of a sitting room behind them (complete with a torn but fluffy couch, a side table with a medium-sized clock on it, and two bookcases filled to the rafters with books and papers). Other than that, there’s a small nook of a hallway that branches off into what appears to be the only other rooms in the house: a bedroom and a bathroom.

Calyn shuffles back over with a cup of water and hands it to Rey. “The bedroom is right over there on your right, and on the left is the bathroom. Please make yourself comfortable and have a good rest. We have a big day of asking each other questions and finding answers to what’s going on with you, Ben Solo, and your child ahead of us tomorrow. So sleep as much as you can, and we’ll figure this out. No more questions.” She smiles at Rey and lightly nudges her arm. “Have a good night. If you need me, I’ll be in the sitting room. With that, Calyn shuffles away, and Rey stands up with a sigh, begrudgingly walking to the bedroom.

“Good night,” she says to her host, “I look forward to tomorrow.”

The woman smiles, seating herself on the couch. “Me too, dear. Sleep well.” Rey smiles and then opens the bedroom door. She walks in and sees a very cluttered room, packed with even more books and papers. The room is practically made of books and papers. They cover a dresser on her right and a table on her left. The only thing they don’t cover is the bed, which looks soft, comfortable, and incredibly inviting. An extra blanket is folded at the end of the bed. Rey rushes over to it and wraps herself inside like jelly in a toasted bun. She falls onto the bed carefully and scooches back towards the wall, burying herself in the comforter, still encased in the blanket.

Growing up on Jakku has made her accustomed to the heat, so this set up is heavenly.

Tiny thuds poke against Rey’s belly. She puts her hand over the movements and feels her baby continue to kick wildly. It’s as if he wants her to move the blankets away from them. She laughs and looks down at him. “What, you don’t like blankets?” She giggles and watches her belly rise with his kicks. Her face falls a bit as she continues, “Maybe Daddy doesn’t like them. I don’t know…there’s so much I don’t know about him.” Her baby kicks again. Rey smiles. “Don’t worry, Little Fish. We’re going to find him soon. We’re here! We’re already at Calyn’s house. Tomorrow we’ll find out what to do next, and we’ll find out where Daddy is. Then we can get him...” she brushes her hand along her stomach and lets her head fall to her pillow. Her eyes flutter closed as she finishes, “…and then we can find out how many blankets he likes to sleep with…and if…”

Then she falls asleep, Little Fish still gently pushing against her belly, and the night air coolly slipping through a tiny window carved above her bed.

 

 

****************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Here's a cute drawing of Rey and "Little Fish" by Laura Martinez <3 (lauvamp-art on Tumblr--she takes commissions!)

Chapter 21

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

A familiar breeze whispers to Rey, begging her to wake up. She breathes it in and sleepily opens her eyes. Blurred hues of blue and white appear above her head. She squints her eyes, eyebrows knitting together. She blinks a couple times to make sure she’s seeing things clearly and then sits up slowly, watching the clouds slowly curl above her. This isn’t Calyn’s place…where am I? Oh no, was that I dream? Did I never make it? I—

She hears the seagulls behind her and turns around. The same beach in that dream from months ago lies spread out before her. The white sand, the salty blue water. The field of grass where the shoreline ends. Everything. The only thing missing is…

Rey stops. She feels something—something she hopes isn’t a figment of her fantasies. She stands up and looks out onto the soft sea of grass that stretches as far as she can see in that direction. The dewy blades brush against her as she gets to her feet. It takes a little extra Force to get her to her feet these days, but she gets there, and she looks all around. “Come on, come on, come on. I know you’re here,” she says, walking out into the cushiony field with her bare feet. She continuously scans the area, her heart rate picking up and her nerves getting frenzied, even out towards the sea, for any indication he might be there. I know here’s here. I know it.

After a few more minutes of walking, Rey decides to take a rest. “It was a lot easier to frolic around here when I wasn’t so pregnant…” her stomach growls, “…or hungry.” She’s about to stand up again to find some source of food when a hand touches her shoulder. A hand she’d recognize anywhere, on any dimensional plane.

She whips around, and her heart nearly stops. Everything in her body lights up, as if seeing him has brought her back to life all over again. Her eyes both light up and swell with tears. And for a second, she forgets to breathe. How could she, when Ben is smiling right before her eyes? When everything she ever wanted is standing right in front of her.

“Don’t worry,” he says, “Allow me.” His hair gently flutters with the wind. He bends down to lift her up, one arm around her shoulder and upper back, and the other about to fold under her legs.

“Ben, I-I’m pretty big now. I don’t think you can—”

“Shhhh,” Ben hushes, his face so close to hers that her face blooms pink. He lifts her up, holding her tightly against him. “You’re not nearly as big as you think you are,” he laughs. Her face reddens more, but she smiles.

“Well, I don’t want to be carried,” she says, planting her feet back on the ground. Ben looks at her, confused. “It’s just really uncomfortable with a baby in me and all.” Ben smiles and nods. He takes a step closer and brings her against him again, only this time their faces are nearly touching.

“Then I guess I’ll just have to kiss you until you’re so weak I have to carry you,” he says with a wink. He runs his fingers through her hair. Her eyes close, and her face stays smiling as he does it. He does it again. “I’m only teasing. I would never do anything that you wouldn’t want me to do.” Rey’s eyes open again, and she gives him a sly grin.

“Oh really?” she says, raising an eyebrow. “Well…” she starts but then looks up into his eyes, and all her cleverness leaves her brain. She can barely breathe, let alone think, while enraptured in his spell. His dark eyes look at her the way that makes her heart race on end. The way she craves. And every time he moves his fingers, she gets paralyzed all over again. She takes a deep breath and exhales. Okay. Let’s try this again. “Well…” she says, “If that’s true, then you’re going to have to kiss me and bring me some food from wherever it is we are.” She folds her arms and raises her eyebrows, but her mouth gives away her ruse. He laughs.

“Okay, okay. Anything for you and our little guy. Let’s find some shade, and then I’ll run off.” He slips his hands from her arms and holds her hand. They smile at each other, and Rey’s heart melts into her stomach. “Now, let’s find a tree or something.” She nods, her smile dimpling her cheeks, and they set off. After a few minutes, she realizes they might not find anything. Everything around them is either flat ground housing grass or slow, curling waves.

Finally, they spot something, and lo and behold, they find a tree. They rush over, watching as it comes clearer into view. Its wide branches umbrella the ground, and its thick, tan trunk makes for a nice backrest. Rey squints at it. It looks oddly out of place here, and it’s the only one here.

They get to it, and Ben helps her to the ground. “Stay here in the shade until I get back. That way I’ll know how to find you. I don’t really know my way around here. It’s only the second time I’ve been here.”

“Same,” she says. “Obviously.” They both laugh.  

“Okay. I’ll be right back. I’ll go as fast as I can.”

Rey nods. “Well, I’ll miss you. Please hurry back.”

“I will,” he says, then leans down and kisses her mouth, holding her hands in his one last time. “Be back soon.”

“’kay,” she says. His hands slip away from hers again, and then he runs off in the opposite direction, looking around at the planet before him. Rey watches as he looks around with determination in his eyes. She can’t help but smile—something she’s been doing a lot of today. Something she hasn’t done nearly enough for the last…well…her entire life. She watches Ben disappear, and the breeze sweeps in like a forgotten song. It covers her with warm tingles, and her eyes flutter dreamily as she keeps herself awake by reveling in this perfect moment. In this perfect world. I don’t want this to end. I can’t risk falling asleep. I don’t want to wake up. I can’t…

“Rey?” Ben asks, amused. He’s blurry at first, but then her eyes focus on him. When she can see clearly his grin is as bright as the sky above them. She sits herself up and looks around, not really knowing what she’s looking for. Oh. I must have fallen asleep after all. Well, I’m still here. That’s all that matters, I guess. “You okay,” he asks, holding out his hand. Rey takes it, and Ben carefully tugs her to her feet. His other hand finds the small of her back. He holds her, his arms tight around her. “Rey. I love you.”

Butterflies escape from her stomach and rise to her chest. They flutter like they’re going mad inside her body. Her face warms and turns rosy. She looks into his eyes and finds herself under his spell again. Her heart feels like a rock as it beats heavy thumps against her chest. “I love you too,” she whispers. His eyes stay fixed on her, but his broad smile has faded into a small grin as he looks deep into her eyes. She doesn’t know what he’s thinking, but she knows how he feels. Because she feels the same way.

He leans down and kisses her, his arms still keeping her from falling. Rey will never get over the way it feels to be kissed by Ben Solo. The way it sends shivers rushing through her body. The way her mind goes both numb and dizzy at the same time. The way her skin gets hot with every touch of his fingertips.

She keeps kissing him until her stomach growls. She pulls away with a giggle. “Sorry. Like I said, I’m hungry.” He smiles and kisses her on the forehead.

“Well, follow me,” he says, taking her hand and leading her into the wide-open grass. They walk along until they get to a hill. “It’s just on the other side,” he says. “Are you doing okay?”

Rey nods. “Yeah, of course, why?”

“Um…the baby…?” Ben asks, unsure if this was a dumb question to ask. Rey just laughs.

“I’m a Jedi,” she says with a wink.

“Okay, fair enough,” he laughs. He swings her hand in his as they walk up the hill. “So, how have things been with you and Little Fish?”

Rey hesitates. The last few months play inside her head like a racing hologram. The exhaustion—mental, physical, emotional—has nearly crushed her. The fear. The uncertainty. The physical effort it’s taken to carry this overwhelmingly heavy emotional burden while carrying a baby and working has trained her in a way not even Leia could have accomplished. The only consolation she’s had is that she’ll be with Ben soon, and all of this will be over. That, and she’s felt his strength within her. His heart and soul have kept her going when she hasn’t been able to do it alone. And that’s been her rock.

But then she thinks of Little Fish and how it’s felt to have in her tummy. To feel him grow, and kick, and even hiccup. Every little jostle is a future footstep from her son. She smiles as she thinks of the first time she found out she was pregnant up until now.  Since then, she has formed this powerful connection with her baby. That is something to celebrate.

And she thinks of the moments when she and Ben have found each other through time and space, bending every law of physics and of the fabric of reality itself to find each other.  Like now.

Nothing could tear them apart. They are a dyad. One soul in two bodies. A power like life itself.

She smiles and looks up at Ben, lacing her fingers in his even more. “It’s been really hard, but really great too.” He looks at her with a knowing smile. There are some uncharted territories of what Rey and Ben can feel, think, or know about each other—can they feel what the other person is feeling, can they understand them to perfection in any given moment? Rey doesn’t know the answers to all that, but she does know that in this moment, both of them feel exactly the same. Together, they’ve felt the pain and the joy, and they’re taking it all, together.

Ben squeezes her hand. “We can get through this,” he says softly.

“I know,” she says, “I know.” He smiles at her with the same softness as his words. He’s been smiling at her nearly the entire time they’ve been together today, but there’s something else too. Something in the way he looks at her. The way his eyes trace every line and dip of her face—her eyes, nose, mouth, cheekbones. He looks at her with such wonder—such awe—like he’s looking at the source of all human happiness. Like he can’t believe his luck.

Rey blushes. There’s no luck here. Only destiny.

“Here we are!” Ben says, waving a hand over the valley below like he’s making way for her vast amount of hungry surprise. She looks over the top of the hill and gapes at his findings.

“Ben…” she says in a single breath, his name catching in her throat. Below them is an entire vineyard, stretching out so far and wide that the Falcon could have made various landings and still have space to spare. They start to descend, and as they do, Rey focuses in on what is carried on each vine. She smiles wide with excitement and starts running through the vineyard. She stops to grab a plump purple fruit the size of her palm. She plucks it from its stem and plunges her mouth into it. “MMM!” she lets out, continuing to eat it until nothing was left but a shriveled pit that she throws into the dirt. She grabs another one and starts eating it as she rushes toward the next row.

“Here, why don’t you give me the fruit you want and I’ll carry them for you so we can sit down and eat them,” Ben says. Rey nods, not really paying attention.

“Sure, yeah. Ooh, Ben, look at this one!” she says, rushing around the corner to another row of vines. This fruit is bright pink with ruddy spots freckled around its ovular frame. “I wonder what it tastes like!” She’s about to take a bite when Ben interrupts.

“Uh, uh, uh! Hand it over,” he says with a raised brow. Rey shoots him a look. “Hey, don’t you want to sit and eat these properly so you can savor them? So we can savor them and talk, and enjoy all of this together?”

Rey sighs and hands him the fruit. “Yeah…” she says. Ben laughs.

“You’re funny sometimes,” he says. Rey fights a smile and pushes him lightly.

“How am I funny?” she says with a feigned offended tone. He laughs again, more loudly this time.

“Like this,” he says, “Your fire, even when it’s about food.”

“I take food very seriously,” she says, biting down a smile as she walks to another row. “So, maybe you should be more considerate next time.” She lets her smile curly out beneath her teasing eyes.

“You almost got me with that wonderful acting,” he says, stepping towards her with her fruit still in his hand. She opens her mouth wide in amused disbelief.

“You bum!” she says, “My acting skills are wonderful!” This makes him laugh even harder than before. “What’s so funny?” she teases and tugs on his sleeve.

He throws his arms around her and nestles his face into her neck. “You make me smile,” he says, almost with disbelief, and tinged with wonder.

She wraps her arms around his neck. “You make me smile, too.”

 

After they’re done picking all the fruit Rey can stomach, they find a soft patch of sand near the calm waves of the endless sea. “Do you think we’re on an island?” Rey asks as Ben helps her sit on the beach. She isn’t sure if he knows she can manage fine on her own, but she’s hoping he doesn’t. She loves the way it feels to have someone taking care of her for a change.

“I don’t know,” he says, taking a seat behind her. Her heart leaps when she notices he didn’t take a seat beside her. She pushes away the thought of how fast her heart is racing now and nestles against him, laying her head on his chest and holding his legs with her hands on either side of her. They look out onto the horizon. Wherever they are, time is passing. The sun is melting like a frozen sweet on a hot day, pooling citrus syrup out across the horizon just above the rolling sea.

Rey feels Ben’s hands on her head, and then his fingers through her hair. He sweeps through it, massaging her from her forehead all the way to the nape of her neck. He brushes her hair with both of his hands, pulling just hard enough that her head rolls back to him every time he reaches the ends of her hair. She gets sleepy as he does it again. And again.

She’s starting to drift to sleep when the realization of the coming days barges into her mind. She blinks and notices the sky is now black, freckled with white stars.  

“Ben?” she asks. His hands stop moving. “Don’t you think we should start figuring out what to do? Like…once this dream, or whatever is…you know…once we get back to what’s going on. I feel like we should be using this time to figure everything out. I don’t think we have much time left. I’m at Calyn’s, but—”

“Rey,” he says, his voice low and calm. He starts brushing her hair again. “It will be okay. You’re getting answers at Calyn’s, and I think I’m making progress where I’m at, too. It’s okay to use this time to just be together. To take a much-needed vacation from everything and curl up in blankets in the eye of the storm.” He runs his fingers through her hair again, and instantly, Rey surrenders to the soothing power he has over her.

She smiles sleepily and closes her eyes. “You’re right. It will be okay.”

His hands move down to her belly. She smiles at the warmth of his touch. Little Fish wiggles and kicks, as if knowing his dad is there to see him perform. They laugh, Rey opens her eyes and looks up behind her in amazement. Ben looks similarly enthused.

“I can’t believe he did that!” she says, laughing, “It’s like…he knows.” She rests the side of her head against Ben’s chest again. “He knows.”

“He does,” Ben says, brushing his fingers along Little Fish’s line of kicks and resting his head on top of Rey’s. “He knows I love him.”

Tears form in Rey’s eyes. “I love him too. I love both of you.”

Ben shifts back and then gets to his feet. Rey watches as he plants himself next to her in the sand. He looks at her with the same smile and look he’s been giving her all day, and she’s not sick of it one bit. If anything, this time it made her even happier. This time, it hit her the hardest. This is the man I love. The man I might lose…

He lifts a hand to her cheek and looks at her for a moment. For that moment, Rey feels the electricity between them. The way they create an entire force of energy when they’re together, as if their souls are desperately trying to patch back together again. Ben brushes her cheek with his thumb. “I love you so much,” he says, his eyes getting red. Tears pill up in his eyes, causing Rey’s to do the same. “And I won’t lose you. Nothing can come between us. I promise you. We will be okay.”

Rey lets the tears fall. Ben pulls her into him, creating a home for her out of his arms. He kisses her head and rubs her shoulder and back. He sniffs back tears and keeps holding her tighter. “You’re right,” she finally says, muffled against his shirt. She wipes her face and sits back, looking up at him. “We’ll be okay. We’ll find each other. I promise, too.”

Ben smiles, his eyes still red and a little puffy. She smiles back, and they share a look. One of love. Of knowing. Of longing. Then he grabs her face and pulls it into his. He kisses her against the clashing of waves and under the shooting stars fleeing far away from their little corner of the galaxy. She kisses him back and lets the distant chirping of bugs and the sounds of the tide form a soundtrack to her soul. A soundtrack to their lives.

Come what may.

Notes:

Sorry for the delay! We're in the homestretch now, though, folks! Get ready for what's next! :D

Chapter 22

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

When Rey wakes up the next morning, her heart is filled with warmth and peace. Everything she did with Ben—every touch, every laugh, every embrace—is still fresh on her skin. She swears she can still feel his presence near, and the faint mist of the ocean at her feet. She smiles to herself, running her fingers through her hair, dreaming of when Ben did the same thing, longing to know when he will do it again. When they meet. When she can finally find him and pull him to her. When they can embrace more fully, kiss completely, and never have to let go or worry about disappearing. They’ll be in charge of their own lives again. They’ll be together. They’ll be home.

Rey’s fingers fall still at a knot in her hair, bringing her back to this little cottage and the task at hand. She sits up and begins stretching when she realizes that the day has greeted her with more than just warm memories—but the warm aroma of freshly baked cinnamon bread, too. She smiles and gets to her feet. Her baby flops happily against her ribs. She winces, but her smile remains. Nothing could break her spirits right now. Today’s the day. The day of answers. The day of new beginnings. The day of freshly baked bread.

Rey opens the bedroom door and meets Calyn in the kitchen. The rickety old woman can barely look over the oven, but there she stands, pulling the bread right out of it.

“Let me help you,” Rey says, paddling forward, her bare feet cold on the dirt floor below.

The woman waves the Jedi off with an “Ah, ah!” and proceeds picking up the loaf and placing it on the stove above. She claps her hands together and takes off the oven mitts. “There.” She turns to Rey. “Breakfast will be served as soon as this cools down.”

Rey’s stomach grows. Smiling, she says, “Perfect. So, when can we start?”

Calyn waddles into her living area, folds her long gray braid behind her, and crouches down for something at the bottom of one of her bookcases.  “Start what, dear?”

Rey’s eyebrow rises. She can’t tell if the old woman is teasing her or simply oblivious. Calyn’s kind of an oracle, isn’t she? That’s why I’m here, right? She has the answers. Then again, maybe she’s just wise and has a good memory…but then that means she is joking…because she knows full well why I’m here.

Calyn laughs as she pulls out a thin, dusty book from between two larger ones and stacks of paper above. “I’m no seer, if that’s what you’re thinking. But…I have my ways. And yes, I know full well why you’re here.”

“You read my thoughts,” Rey says, both a question and a statement.

The woman shakes her head. “No, I just felt them.”

Rey’s brows furrow. “But…Maz said you’re an oracle…”

Calyn laughs again—a wobbly laugh that shakes her whole body. “What else did she tell you?”

“Well…she said you’ve been around since the beginning of time…that’s how you can help me. Right?”

Calyn laughs even harder, but this time it ends with the old woman pouting. “That Maz! Oh, she’s no spring chicken herself. I may be old, but there were others before me.” She laughs again, “Oh anyway, don’t worry about it, child, and we can talk more about me in a bit, if you’d like. For now, though, let’s get you settled on the couch over here. We can do this part before eating, to speed up the process.

Rey shuffles over to the couch and sits down. “But why would she say you’re an oracle?”

Calyn bends her body down into a bag the size of Rey’s, and it almost swallows her up whole. “Well, I guess it’s because that’s how I’m known,” she says, her voice muffled in the bag, “It’s how I’d like to be known anyway. The reality is much more complicated. Besides, Maz probably knew I’d explain the finer details to you anyway.” She pulls herself out of the bag with a set of floppy tubes and wires. Rey tenses as the tubes flop their way over to her stomach. “Don’t worry, my dear. It’s fine. I won’t hurt you.”

Rey hadn’t realized how eccentric the woman looked until this very moment. With her cat-like eyes magnified beneath thick goggles, her hair knotted in an unkempt braid that dragged by her bare feet on the earthy floor, her mismatched patches of clothes. None of it matters to Rey objectively. She actually finds it exciting. She just worries about the woman’s medical expertise—or lack thereof—as she begins plopping wires along her now exposed belly. She suction cups one on the bottom and follows the wires to a square device on the ground. “Um…what are you doing?” Rey asks, almost too afraid to hear the answer. Calyn keeps working on plugging things into the monitor and grabbing more things out of the bag.

Rey sighs and lies back. Finally, Calyn speaks. “We’re going to check the status of your baby,” she says. Rey starts to sit up, a smile bright on her face, when Calyn says, “Ah, ah, ah! What are you doing? Lie back down!” Rey does as she’s told. “These wires are for a bit later. Right now, I just need to touch your stomach myself. Is that okay?” Rey nods slowly, confused and carefully watching this strange woman, who she’d just met, place her hands on her stomach.

Calyn closes her eyes. “The Force isn’t as black and white as some may think. You aren’t a Jedi or a Sith or anything. No. There is so much in between. There are many roles the Force plays. Some many don’t know about.” She opens her eyes and looks to Rey. “If you want to know why Maz called me an oracle, it’s because that is what I’ve become. It’s what I’ve taught myself to do—what I’ve taught myself to use the Force to allow me to do.”

Rey’s mouth gapes open. “You’re Force sensitive?”

Calyn sighs. “Yes. I am. No one chooses to be Force sensitive or not. When I was young, I didn’t know what to make of it and what to do with it. As time went on, I decided I didn’t want to be a Jedi. I wanted to help people, but not in such a rigid way. I wanted my freedom—”

“Jedi have freedom,” Rey interjects. Calyn smiles softly.

“Yes, well, in my time, there were rules, and I couldn’t be a part of something bigger—at least, I didn’t want to be. I wanted complete autonomy. So, I started exercising the Force to allow me to be more sensitive to people’s lives, feelings, and thoughts than any other Force user. I didn’t do mind tricks, and I didn’t fight. But I felt. And I saw. That has always been enough for me.” She closes her eyes again. “And I’ve been around to learn many things, and fortunately, exercising my mind has given me a complete eidetic memory. I cannot forget any bit of information, and I can easily sort through all of it. I can also see certain futures for someone, as not every future vision is correct. A lot depends on the person. Anyway, I hope that’s enough to help you understand for now, as I have to look into yours—your future, as well as your past—and I need to sense and understand everything. We can talk after. I still don’t know everything, despite what many people think. I will need to talk with you more about your situation before I can help you best know what to do. For now, though, you must be still, and I must be quiet. I shall now let my mind work.”

Rey watches the woman in awe. Everything she just heard is amazing to her. What it must be like to have lived so long, to experience so much—to have trained your mind to do what you want it to, and to grow in such a way. Calyn’s eyes are tiny beneath her falling spectacles. She is feeling her tiny hands around the wireless parts of Rey’s stomach. Her face is calm, but her eyes beneath her lids are searching wildly. Her nearly invisible brows are almost one in her concentration.

Everything is still in the house. Everything is quiet. All Rey hears is the faint pattering of rain as it drizzles outside the windows.

“Interesting,” Calyn says. Rey jumps at the sudden noise and watches the woman open her eyes. “I’ve never seen anything like this before,” she says, her brows still one, “but I’ve heard tales of it before...or the possibility of it, at least.”

“What? What is it?” Rey asks.

“Where to start…where to start…” Calyn mutters to herself as she turns around and reaches into her bag. She pulls out a book. “I thought we’d be needing this,” she says, wiping dust off the front cover. It’s a good-sized book (it’s so big Rey is confused at how Calyn can even hold it. It’s bigger than she is, yet she holds it with such ease), bound with red leather and ornamented with golden inscriptions in a language Rey has never seen before. “This is a book of legends from the galaxy. Now,” she says, patting the book, “Many of these are prophecies, and many are legends. Only time has told which ones were which, and as we’ve been experiencing more of them each day, we can see that many of them are indeed prophecy. Now, there is a legend,” she looks at Rey and says, more clearly, “a prophecy. Of two halves of one soul being born as one and being split in two. The two pieces should have been distraught being torn, but they weren’t. They were in such intense harmony before that their bond was never truly severed. Then, they were placed in two mortal bodies. The strings of fate bound them throughout all time and space, holding them together through mortal existence until they could return to one another again one day.” Rey stares blankly, not knowing how to take this. Calyn goes on, “The prophesied souls were said to spend their whole mortal lives longing to be put back together again. Searching for each other, yearning for them. The prophecy tells that these two souls would find each other again one day. However, once they did, their harmony would be disrupted. Something would go awry. Their souls were said to have been in such desperate need of the other, that when one of them falls, the two of them will create another soul—life— solely out of love and light. This third soul will help the two become one again. It will guide them home. Then all will be well, and the galaxy would be balanced.”

Rey lets out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. I don’t think I breathed that whole time. That’s a lot to take in…So…were Ben and I prophesied to bring balance to the universe? And we were prophesied to have our baby, and for him to reunite us? How?

Her head spins.  

“I know this is a lot to take in. You came to me for answers, though, so here they are: this prophecy is a famous one. One told over many centuries. The Force has been balanced for longer than anyone can even remember hearing or reading about. Longer than any records anyone has ever been able to find. However, we do have records of disruptions in the Force. Of darkness creeping in and spreading more and more…things like that. There is a great deal of things that have been recorded. Many prophecies. Many stories.” She looks at the young Jedi, now jaded but anxiously awaiting more information, “You, my dear, were destined to bring balance to the galaxy. You, Ben Solo, and your son. This prophecy—the prophecy of the “True Dyad”—is about you.”

Rey’s body goes numb as her mind continues to spin. Everything is swirling before her: she and Ben are destined lovers. Destined warriors. She, Ben, and her baby have an important job to do. Somehow. In some way. And she has no idea where to even start. If it’s her baby who will lead them together, how will they ever make it?

Rey lets out a small gasp.

“Is that why Ben and I have been able to see each other?” she whispers, “Or is that just because we’re a dyad. But, why couldn’t I see him for so long? What happened?”

Calyn overhears and replies, “Well, I may have some answers to that. But…I…Your baby…your baby…let’s see…How do I…Excuse me, dear, it’s been a while since I translated these messages to words for someone.”

“Messages?”

“Yes. You see, my powers give me messages that I must interpret. One such message showed the prophecy. It’s a legend as old as time, and one I know very well. So that was easy to see. I saw it immediately. I saw you. I saw Ben. I saw your souls split, and his linger on the other side as the third soul was created. I saw the prophecy come to life right inside my mind. It was clear as day.”

Rey’s face scrunches. “Okay…so, what are the unclear messages?”

Calyn shakes her head. “No, it’s not unclear. It’s…just strange, and there are a lot of messages in my mind at once right now. I don’t know how to best go about saying all of it and making sense of what I saw.”

The sun is sprouting rays into the room. The rain is done drizzling, and the bread on the stove is getting cold. Time is ticking. Time is running out.

“Try me,” Rey says, keeping her tone even, “Please.”

Calyn shrugs. “Okay. Well, when I said I’d never seen something like this, I meant…your baby. He…is growing at a rapid rate. A very rapid rate.”

Rey’s stomach twists and her heart rate quickens and grows heavier. “What do you mean?”

Calyn places the book to her side and shakes her head with another shrug. “I don’t know what happened. I just know he’s getting bigger rapidly. How far along would you say you are? When did you find out you were pregnant?”

Rey thinks back. Tatooine…that was six or seven weeks after Exogal…it’s been a few months since then. “Well, I saw Ben recently, and he said I only looked about four months along. That was only a couple weeks ago, but I feel a lot bigger—”

“Did you say you saw him?” Calyn asks, her eyes popping out above her goggles.

Rey nods. “Yeah, we see each other sometimes. Usually in dreams. Well, Maz told me they weren’t dreams, and I know they’re not. They’re just meeting places for Ben and I to be together when my soul is flying into unconsciousness, or something like that. He and I had a lovely time there last night.” She blushes. “But there have been times where I’ve seen him in real life too. We’ve kissed. Last time, he held me. He healed Little Fish and me—”

“Ah,” Calyn says. Rey looks at her, confused. “Okay, it’s all making sense now. Okay, so here’s how I see it.” Rey scoots up into a sitting position and watches as the old woman continues. “When Ben revived you on Exogal, he healed you and placed part of his soul in you. That piece of him and you created your son. Then, when he healed you and your son recently, he sent more of his soul’s energy to him. Another soul wasn’t born, of course, but his energy gave the baby strength and Force beyond its normal capacity. Your baby is growing rapidly now. He grows more rapidly by the day.”

Rey’s stomach drops. Her body grows cold and her mouth goes dry. “Ben…I’ll never make it.”

“No, don’t say that. We don’t even really know what we’re up against yet, dear. Right now, I want you to gather your strength and take courage. Believe you’ll be with him and listen to your feelings. Let them guide you, and let your baby give you answers. He’s been helping you all along.”

Rey cocks her head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s like what I was getting at before. Your baby has been bringing you and Ben closer together every day. The bigger he gets, the thinner the barrier between you and Ben becomes. If you go to the right place at the right time, you’ll see him, and you can bring him back.”

Rey beams, and color returns to her face. “Oh good, now where do I find him?”

Calyn stands up and starts walking toward the kitchen. Rey’s brows furrow. Before she can say anything, the woman speaks, “We need to eat. Come. Take the wires off. I was going to do something with them, but I’ll do it later. Come to the table. Let’s eat.”

So, that’s what they do. Rey sits at the table and graciously receives nearly half a loaf of expertly made cinnamon bread. She sinks her teeth in and lets herself get lost in its taste. It’s soft, warm, and incredibly delicious. For now, her worries can wait. This moment is hers with the bread.

Calyn laughs as she watches Rey’s bliss. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

“MM-HHMM” Rey mumbles through a full mouth and closed eyes.

Smiling, Calyn says, ““You know, the ancient texts also mention that your coming together will be the ultimate sealing of the Dyad.” Rey opens her eyes and swallows. “To restore balance to the entire galaxy will bond you together for eternity.” 

Rey ponders this for a moment. “So, it’s kind of a wedding ceremony?” she asks.

Calyn bursts out laughing. “Yes, I suppose it is a wedding ceremony of sorts. The best, purest kind. A bond that can never be broken.” Rey’s cheeks flush and a smile appears on her face as she thinks of being Ben’s bride. She imagines coming together and bringing balance to everything. Then, when everything is calm again, she’ll pick flowers. She’ll braid them in her hair, and she’ll find him. He’ll be looking at her like no one has ever looked at anyone. Like no one has ever been so beautiful. Like no one else even exists. How he always looks at her, but with even more admiration in his eyes, because he’ll know. They’ll look at each other and know: they’re in this forever. They’ll be each other’s forever. Truly one.

“Well,” she says, still smiling and looking away, “I’ve been apart from Ben my entire life…and as soon as we found each other, he was taken from me…” her smile fades for a moment, but then she meets Calyn’s eyes and, with her smile returning, says, “so knowing that coming together this next time will mean forever is the best news anyone has ever given me.” Her smile is so deep and dimpled, so pure and sincere, that Calyn can’t help but smile back. Rey continues, “So thank you so much…for telling me that…” Rey’s words catch in her throat. Tears fall along her cheek. Why am I crying? An image of Ben flashes across her mind. He’s in a black ceremonial wedding suit. He’s looking back at her, smiling, and holding out his hand. She blinks the tears away and revels in the giddiness. “I’m sorry,” she says to Calyn, wiping her cheeks, “I feel so silly.”

“Don’t,” the old woman says, fanning the idea away with her hand. “You’re in love,” she says, “Enjoy it. You’re one of the lucky ones who actually gets a true soul mate.”

Rey sniffs and nods, wiping tears away as more come spilling down her cheek. The old woman grabs a napkin from the center of her table and hands it to Rey. Rey thanks her, still crying, and holds it to her face.

Rey can’t see anything but Ben.

“Ben…I’ll come for you. I can’t wait.” She smiles, laughing through her tears as her shoulders tremor. “I can’t wait.”

Calyn smiles and surreptitiously passes Rey the remainder of the bread. Rey spots it and thanks her. She nods, “Of course. Now, eat up. There’s a lot more I need to tell you, and we don’t have a lot of time.”

Notes:

Sorry for the delay, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and are ready for the next one. :D I'm going to post chapter 23 this week as well (hopefully that helps make up for the delay). I was originally going to put all the information from Calyn in this one chapter, but it was too much. So, chapter 23 will have a lot more information on what's going on and what Rey needs to do. I'm excited for it!

Chapter Text

 

“You have many questions, yes? Let’s start there.”

Rey swallows her last bite of bread and brushes the crumbs from her fingers. Where do I start? Should I ask about the baby or about what’s going on with Ben in the World Between Worlds? Now that I can ask questions, I don’t know where to start. “I guess I should start with the most important one…” Rey says, more to herself than Calyn. She stares off and searches inside herself. Most important question… She sits up and takes a deep breath in. Most important. Okay, that’s easy.

She exhales. “Okay. How do I find him?”

Calyn’s eyes aren’t on her. She’s wiping the crumbs off her table and brushing them into a napkin scrunched up in her tiny palm. She sighs. “It isn’t that simple.” She hops off her seat and heads to the trash.

“What do you mean?” Rey asks as the old woman dumps crumbs into a small bin next to her oven. “I mean, I know it isn’t simple or else I would have found him already, right? But…” her voice trails off. I guess I don’t know…she muses…I don’t know what any of this entails. I don’t know what it will take to get to Ben…or what will happen when we try to touch again, or how I can pull him to me—save him from the static world oppressing him. What does someone even do in this type of situation? Has anyone ever dwelled between life and death?

Calyn turns around and shuffles back to the table. “Dyads haven’t been common, so every instance brings new information into uncharted territory,” she says, gesturing for Rey to follow her back to the couch. They head over, and when she lies back down on the couch, ready for Calyn to reattach the wires, the older woman just shakes her head. “No, it’s okay. We can get to that if we have time—it’s to check your baby. Anyway, what I was saying is that Dyads are all different and so rare. No one even knows what has happened between them. Then again, none have been destined for such greatness, or have known such love….” Calyn idly sweeps the wires off the couch and hops on in their place. “But with you, Rey…” She turns to her and smiles, “I think your soul mate’s love for you created a baby—your heart and soul entwined so seamlessly with his—and this baby is instrumental in you finding each other.” 

“So…are you saying that Ben and I will find each other?” Rey moves forward, “Did you see it? Can you see us together?”

The woman just sighs once more and says, “I don’t want to promise anything or declare anything as truth. I’m just saying that’s what I think.”

Rey smiles so hard that it strains her cheeks, “But you have more knowledge about this than anyone in the galaxy! You’re saying there’s hope!” Deep lines crumple down Calyn’s forehead, but she nods.  

“Yes, I suppose I do, and suppose I am.”

“And you saw it, didn’t you? You saw us together.” At this, Calyn just looks away. Something’s fixed in her eyes. Pain. Hesitance. Fear. Something that makes her too scared to answer. Rey’s face falls. “What is it?”

“No, it’s nothing. There’s just…I’ve seen many things. I just can’t know which is right—which will occur, and which won’t. I can’t tell you anything. I’m far too afraid. I could mislead you, whether the news is good or bad.”

Rey studies Calyn’s expression as she takes in every word. This woman has seen many things. I wonder what she saw… She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter what you saw. All I need to do is move forward. Nothing will stop me—even if the odds are low, I will find him.” She didn’t mean to, but she says this with loud, stressed tones that reverberate against the cramped cottage walls. Her fingers had dug into her palms. Flushing, she says, “Sorry, I just…I can’t afford not to find him. I can’t think…I—” she shakes her head, tears forming in her eyes.

Rey’s staring off into a future she doesn’t want to see. A life without Ben. A life without her other half. It isn’t right…It can never be right. It can’t be. Just before the tears in her eyes start to fall—just before the darkness threatening her grows even more sinister—she gets pulled back into reality by soft hands cupping her face. She looks down and sees Calyn smiling at her, a deep sense of serenity in her marble-blue eyes.

Calyn’s brows fall onto her eyes, and she fixes Rey with a serious gaze—one she imagines her mother would have given her when teaching her something important. Something she should never forget. “Force dyads can never be broken. Don’t give up, and I’m sure you’ll find each other. It’s like feeling around for someone in the dark. You know they’re there. You just have to figure out how to find each other.”

Rey’s sad smile curls up. “I will never give up on him. Even if I have to search my entire life, I will never give up. It’s not an option for me. Ever.”

Calyn smiles. “I know.” Rey smiles, her cheeks dimpling and chest feeling lighter. Nothing will get between us, she reaches towards Ben through the Force, sending the message with strength from the innermost core of her heart. I will never let anything happen to you. And when this is all over, I will never leave your side. I promise.

She breathes out every bad feeling—every thought that tries to get in her way, trying to send hopeless signals to her heart, discouraging her in any way they can. They have no power here. She looks to Calyn. “Where is the World Between Worlds?”

**

The air is so still Ben isn’t sure if he’s still able to breathe. Then he hears it. It’s faint, but it’s there.

It’s stalking him.

Why…are you stalking me? Ben looks around carefully, barely turning his head as he scans the area.

When he saved Rey and Little Fish, he faded back into this room. This strange white auditorium. A place where the stars can be seen overhead but time is held captive between its jelly-like walls. A dead place, almost man-made, holding the eyes of a monster—one that lurks both in shadows and plain sight.

Then when it swallowed him up when he was still weak, he centered himself in the Force. He reached for Rey, and it was like his soul disappeared and went to her. He opened his eyes and woke to a bright sunny day on that beach he and Rey always see in their shared dreams. A place he wished they could be forever. And when the day was done, he had to slip back into his body again. A body trapped in this dead, white, nearly-man-made room.

“Come for me already! If you’re going to attack me, why don’t you try!” Ben yells to it, running towards the slight ripple he feels in the Force. He has to stay focused. He has a plan. He has to see it through because the awful truth is staring him right in the face every second he wastes in this place.

He has to kill this thing, or he can never escape.

The familiar roaring begins its familiar call. A corner of Ben’s mouth turns up.

“Now I’ve got you.”

**

“Why are you so sure he’s in the World Between Worlds?” Calyn asks. Her arms are crossed now. One of her legs, as equally scrawny as her arms, is crossed on top of the other, and she’s looking at Rey with a curious expression.

“Maz told me,” Rey says.

“Ah,” Calyn says, nodding, her head bobbing beneath her hair.

“And it makes sense with how I feel. I know he’s not gone. I see him, and I can feel his heart beating in mine…I just don’t know how he got there.” The image of him on Exogal flashes across her mind. She can see it as clearly as she sees Calyn in front of her now. Her mind drifts back to it, whether she wants it to or not. That dreadful moment. Ben disappearing. The feeling of grief that overtook her when she saw only his clothes lying on the ground before her. In that moment, she was so devastated. And angry. They were supposed to be together. Why would this happen? They just defeated Palpatine. This is what they worked towards. The life she’d live with Ben sparked in her mind’s eye when she first sensed him—and saw him—when he reached Exogal. As soon as she knew it was him—the real, true him—she saw it. The life she wanted. The life she craved.

The one with him.

Now, she knows it wasn’t as simple as that. The life she saw hadn’t fled from her grasp. She can get the life she wants with Ben. And if somehow this opening closes, she will never give up on him. She will never stop searching. No matter what. Even if she has to live her entire existence scouring the galaxy for the gateway to their worlds, or a moment when their worlds might open up again, that’s what she would do. She’d search, and she’d fight. She’d never give up.

She will never give up. It’s not an option for her. He’s the life she wants to live. The air she wants to breathe. The touch she wants to feel against her skin. Ben is as much a part of her as she is. Their story would never be over. It’s barely begun now.

When they finally do reach each other, their life will start exactly where they want it to. Together.

“Ben is out there. I can feel it,” Rey says, motivation fueling through her like fire in her veins. “He gave me part of his life force, but he shouldn’t have died. I mean, if he died, I would too, right? We’re a Dyad. And I know he didn’t really die. I’ve seen him, and Maz told me that I really have been seeing him—meeting with him in a corner of the galaxy where our consciences meet. But…how did all this happen? And why? I don’t understand.”

“You’re right that you cannot live without one another,” Calyn says, still nodding, “Dyads cannot be severed. Death may have tried to cheat, but it hasn’t won. Not yet, at least.” She shoots sad eyes at Rey. “Don’t give up on this endeavor if you want to live. There will not be another chance.”

Rey’s blood runs cold. Did she—

“I feel your heart, young Rey. You are a stubborn one. Passionate and brave. Those are good qualities, but you also need to understand the facts and not believe in second chances this time.” She uncrosses her leg and scoots herself closer to Rey, her long braid hanging off the couch. She’s only a foot or two from Rey’s face when she continues speaking. “You must go to him before your baby is born.”

Rey frowns. “Why? Why does that matter? I mean, I’ve felt that, but I figured it was just a feeling.”

Trust your feelings. They are your most powerful tools against what you have to fight against.” She sits back and sighs. “And I’m not quite sure what you’re up against…but…” she perks up and looks over toward her room. “Dear, I…I think you have something that could help me.”

“Wha—”

“Please fetch me your bag. I think there’s something inside of it that we’ll need. Something key to all of this.”

“Okay…” Rey says, both confused and excited. She takes a second to get to her feet, and when she does, she has to steady herself. Her baby really is getting huge. She hurries to the room and does as she’s told. Once she picks up the bag and brings it to Calyn, the old woman’s expression contorts into one of fear. “What is it?” Rey asks. She watches as Calyn reaches into the bag and pulls out the book Rey found on the man that tried to kill her.

“Where did you get this?” she asks breathlessly.

Rey shakes her head. “I just took it from a man who was after me. He tried to kill me. He had incredible strength. There was definitely something off about him…”

Calyn nods slowly, her expression still dark. “Yes. Yes. Yes. Very off, I’m sure. This is an ancient Sith text. Very few of these exist, and they are hard to read. Only those who know the language of the Sith can learn of its contents...”

“Then, how did he—"

“…or know someone who does…someone who can discern the book for them.” Tentatively, Calyn places a hand on the cover.

“But all the Sith are dead. They died with Palpatine.”

Calyn shakes her head as her eyes flutter closed. “Not all who understand are Sith. There is another force. A dark, horrible legend. I never knew if it were true, but—” Calyn’s mouth stops moving, but her eyes wildly chase information beneath her closed lids.

Rey takes a step back and stumbles back farther on a patch of uneven ground. When she’s steadied, she looks back to Calyn and sees the woman’s body shaking too, her eyes still looking like they’re rapidly chasing a million invisible bugs.

Then. They stop. Slowly, she opens her eyes and looks at Rey, her body shaking. She’s searching the air for the arm of the couch, but her mind is somewhere else entirely. Rey rushes to her and helps her to the couch. Calyn sits, but she’s still staring straight ahead.

“Rey,” she says, her voice small, “Did the man you got this book use skill to fight you?”

“Um…I don’t know…he didn’t seem too skilled, I guess. He was just incredibly strong.”

Calyn just nods at this, but not the type of nod she was doing all day. This was a nod like her head was hinged, moving up and down like a slowly malfunctioning droid. The room is quieter now than ever before. No rain on the window. No faint walking or talking outside. No talking or walking inside. Just quiet. And air thick with fear.

“What is it?” Rey finally asks. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s only one explanation for all of this.” She holds out the book and places it on the cluttered table beside them. “It’s not a pretty situation you’re stuck in…” She sighs and looks over to Rey, life coming back to her eyes, “nor will it be easy moving forward, but…it is possible to get Ben from the World Between Worlds…”

Rey smiles, her heart flipping and stomach knotting simultaneously. She now has relief. Relief that Ben can, in fact, be found and rest safely with her again settles in her body, but it is followed by the fear of what is actually going on, and whatever else is gnawing at her already fragile situation.

Calyn strokes her braid and exhales. “What I saw was horrific, to say the very least. But…both fortunately and unfortunately, it showed me the missing pieces to this situation.” Her hand stops and falls down to her lap. She casts her gaze down and continues. “I had a theory. It wasn’t a likely theory, but it was a theory I had when you stepped in my door, and I suppose a bit before that, too. I-I didn’t think it was actually what was happening…but…now I see that it is what I feared. Ben is in the World between Worlds.” Rey’s heart continues to pound as she waits for the other shoe to drop. “But…he’s not alone.”

Her heart nearly stops, the pounding now just an echo spiraling down her body. “What?”

Calyn lets out a breath. “There was a story once told long ago. A tale of a great darkness that broke away from the Force. No one knows why it broke away, other than that it simply wanted to. It is the negative of the Force. It broke away and lived in its cracks, fed the Dark Side, and kept the galaxy in a state of unbalance and unrest. Disarray. For millennia, it thrived on others’ misfortunes. It fed off evil and anguish. No one could see it, but it was ever-present, whispering in the ears of the prideful—those lusting for power and strength of an insidious matter. It would one day cause such great ruin that the entire galaxy may fall into darkness. In pain. Sorrow, and suffering…” she sighs and looks at Rey, “And although no one could see it on this plane, it was said it could be seen between worlds. In the place that it dwells. Its home. A place between the living and the dead.”

The blood is draining from Rey’s face. She feels sick.

“It’s a ghost-like figure of storms—or rather, a storm-like figure of ghosts—filled with cries of suffering and agony, with the sounds of what it greatly desires and what it feeds off of: death and destruction. Its sole purpose—its only thought—is to keep the galaxy in distress. Its strength and abilities are unknown. We just know it’s a being like nothing anyone has ever seen or known. One with no physical body. One that is not easily defeated—”

“How can such a thing be stopped?” Rey interjects. Her eyes are glistening, and pain is straining her belly and back. “Is it…” her voice is weak, “Is it hurting Ben?” She can barely get the question out before tears roll off her cheeks. She stays strong enough to listen, but the thought that Ben is held captive by such a creature makes her feel like she’s going to vomit.  

Calyn puts a hand on Rey’s knee and says, “That’s precisely what the prophecy and stories speak of. A Dyad like nothing the galaxy, or time, has ever known. Two beings so perfectly connected…destined to balance the Force.”

“How are we supposed to do that?” Rey asks, anger and fear bubbling up her body. She wipes her face and tucks loose strands of hair behind her ears as she waits for a response. She can tell Calyn is carefully calculating a response, but she wishes she’d calculate faster.

Finally, she begins. “Being a Dyad kept you and Ben alive. Some other factors helped as well, such as the conception of your baby, who further strengthened your bond. It’s hard to know, though, if your baby helped then or if his help was reserved for now. As I mentioned before, the bigger your baby gets, the thinner the worlds between you will get. However,” Calyn winces, “Well, actually…let me tell you something else first. I want to explain the situation a little better for you first. It’s important you and Ben know as much about this creature as possible. Unfortunately, even I don’t know much about it.

“What I do know is this: This creature is the source keeping you two apart, but it can’t live where mortals live, and it doesn’t belong to any underworld either. It’s more of a feeling, the shadow of the Force. The complete antithesis. It will be destroyed when the Force is balanced again. It can’t do its own dirty work, so it gets others to do the dirty work for them.” Calyn looks at Rey with raised eyebrows and then shifts her gaze to the book.

Then Rey sees it. Visions blast into her view. She sees the men coming after her. The one who tried to kill her—the one who almost did. She sees some kind of fog whispering into his ears and filling his body with strength. The sight of the monster makes Rey even sicker. But then she sees something else.

It’s her. She’s lying on the ground after getting knocked out. The man is about to finish the job when a giant burst of air pulses him far away. He flies out of view and gets hurled into a place Rey can’t see. What she does see, though, faintly in the sky: Ben. She mouths his name as she watches him cry out for her. He’s transparent in the wind—hidden in the plane he’s trapped in—but he’s there. He saved her.

The vision stops and Rey gasps. “Ben saved me. He’s the one who led the man away. The one with the book…” The love she feels for him in this moment is blooming. She feels his warmth inside her, and it gives her peace. Every time he saves her, she falls even more desperately in love with him.

Her short burst of happiness abruptly comes to an end as she slowly regains her sense of awareness and remembers where she is. Of what is happening. What Calyn is telling her.

Calyn smiles at her and says, “He did save you. Many times.”

Yes. He did,” Rey whispers, the words snagging in her throat. She swallows and tries to push down a lump forming in her throat, to no avail. The two sit in silence for a moment, neither knowing how to move forward, yet both knowing they have to.

Calyn breaks the silence. “This all makes sense. You and your family are destined to bring balance to the Force and the galaxy, and this is the shadow of the Force. The creature that brings disruption and sparks the unrest in the Force. It gets power from the Sith, and any evil being or creature. The only way for the Force to be balanced is if this monster is destroyed.”

“But I still don’t understand how it can even be destroyed.”

“It can’t,” Calyn says. Rey looks at her with absolutely no expression.

She blinks. “What?”

Calyn bends toward Rey and tells her the most important information she needs to know right now. “It can’t be killed. It can only be stopped. You and Ben have to reach each other where the worlds meet, and when you do, and when you pull him to our side, it will be destroyed.”

Rey relaxes. “What a relief,” she says, “I thought we’d have to fight a terrifying beast or something.” Calyn winces. Rey’s smile disappears. “What?”

“I don’t know what you will fight along the way, but I do know that Ben is running out of time. He has been fighting this monster for months, and he only has so much strength. And…he has to have enough strength to fight it so he can make for his escape.”

“But how can he escape?”

“There’s an opening,” Calyn says, hopping off the couch. She leans over to pick Rey’s bag up for her. Tying it up for her, she says, “He will have to get through to an opening at the top of our world and right outside the creature’s. It’s not another “in-between” state. It’s a small space where the creature can’t follow him and where you can’t go. It’s more of an entryway between worlds.” She pushes Rey’s bag into her arms and looks her in the eye. “You have to meet him up there. He has to wait there for you as you make your ascent.”

“My ascent?” Rey asks as Calyn helps her to her feet.

“Yes, you will have to get to him. He will help you with that. You just have to get to the planet where the entryway is…and…” she stops. Her face is grave. Her shoulders drop. “I despise the fact that I have to be the bearer of incredibly bad news, but I have to be. I’m…” she sighs, “This is the news I didn’t want to give you earlier. I wanted to give you all the other information you needed first…”

“What is it?” Rey can’t take any of this anymore. Her heart may stop altogether if she has to wait for any more surprises.

She sighs again and starts, “As you get closer to your due date, the opening to worlds will be thinner and thinner. Like I mentioned earlier, this is key to bringing him back to our world. Although, you could have technically brought him back earlier. You just wouldn’t have been in tune enough to go through the process like you’ve been able to do so far. Anyway…you’re running out of time.” She sighs again and bites the bullet. “If you don’t meet in time, and your baby comes before you meet, the threads between worlds will tear, and the state of the galaxy could tear along with it. And you and Ben can never reunite again.”

The world around Rey goes dark. She feels like she’s breathing through an old machine ventilator, and her chest is tightening like she’s made of bolts and rubber bands. “But how do I get there? How do I destroy it? What do I do?!” She tried as hard as she could to fight back the tears at various points of her conversation with Calyn, but now she’s hit her breaking point. There’s no more holding back.

Tears flow in sheets down her face, gushing like a running faucet. Her body shakes, and her baby kicks madly inside her, which just makes her cry more. “Baby…I-I need to get Da—” sobs flow from her. She tries to catch her breath but holding it in only increases how hard she cries when she breathes again. Each sob after she attempts to hold it in grows louder than the last.

Finally, Calyn comes over and takes hold of Rey’s arms. “You can do this, Rey. And you have to. For you and your family, as well as the entire galaxy. We’re all depending on you now. The Force will never be balanced if you two don’t get to each other in time.”

These words strike Rey like a hot arrow into her chest and through her gut. She has to be strong. For Her. For Ben. For Little Fish. For everyone.

She closes her mind and centers herself on Ben. She sees him. He’s in the vineyard with her on their dream island. They’re laughing and chasing each other around, popping various fruits into their mouths and laughing with heads thrown back in carefree bliss.

Now he’s holding her on the beach, his fingers looped in her hair. She watches the sun set as he whispers her name into her ear. His breath is warm against her skin.

Her chest trembles as more sobs threaten to break through, but she just tries harder.

She thinks of him healing her and their baby. The way he looked at her like when she came to, and the way he lit up when he felt the baby for the first time that night.

And she thinks about how at this very moment, Ben must be giving his all, too. Against that monstrous creature that threatens to take away everything she’s ever wanted in her life.

Power flows through her. She can feel it rush within her, through her, and around her. She no longer feels sad, scared, or angry. She feels peace, strength, and confidence.

 “I have to leave,” she says, catching her breath. “You’re right. Time is running out, and it’s up to me now.”

“I believe in you, Rey. You’re stronger than you even know.” She reaches up and kisses Rey on the cheek, and then pats it like a grandmother would. “Go. Find Ben Solo on Exogal. I assure you he’s waiting there for you.”

Rey is walking to the door when the name snags her in place. Turning around, she sees Calyn’s sky-like eyes looking up at her. “Did you say ‘Exogal’?”

The woman blinks. “Oh, yes. I’m sorry. I thought I told you that. It must have gotten lost in the shuffle…Yes, you must go to Exogal.”

Rey’s mouth hangs open. “I don’t even know where it is! I had the Wayfinder last time!”

“And this time you have your baby,” Calyn says, scooting Rey towards the door, “Hurry along, dear! Ben is waiting!”

Chapter Text

 

Ben throws himself at the monstrous creature. He sweeps the Force through the air and heaves it directly into the creature. He half expects it to open up and devour the ball of energy like a snack before a hearty meal. But it doesn’t. It shrivels and swells like a worm in hot water. A parasite under a light. One of Ben’s eyebrows rises.

He steps closer to the fog monster, slowly at first, but then more confidently as he realizes he has more power over it than it does over him now. It’s writhing and letting out eerie squeals like a boiling kettle. He narrows his eyes. “Why does this affect you so much?” The creature tumbles over itself, constantly moving like a massive waving flag. “It’s just energy from the Force. It would hurt anyone, but nothing fazed you before…” It continues wailing. Ben’s eyes stay glued to its body. “Why are you so affected by the Force?”

Finally, the monster is done licking its wounds. It lunges forward while it’s still only a head taller than Ben, but he darts away. He runs as fast as he can in the opposite direction. What do I do now? How am I supposed to get out of this place? All I can do is wound this thing. He looks over his shoulder and his stomach drops. It’s rising. Growing. Soon, it’s the same healthy demon that it was before. Terrible and churning.

His eyes dart forward again. There’s nowhere to go in this eerie, hollow lair. It’s all wide-open, white-tiled nothingness with a strange crypt below, and a thick membrane wall keeping them from everywhere else. From the stars and mysteries of this dimension. The membrane that had something behind it. Something Ben almost saw.

There. That’s where I should go.

He skids to a brief stop, turns slightly to the right, and then bolts towards the section of the membrane just above the tombs he’d been imprisoned in.

Something was behind that wall. I saw it. It was blurry from where I was positioned before…

“I’ll be able to see it now,” Ben assures himself breathlessly as he continues his run to the membrane. He’s almost there when he hears the rumbling of the fog-like demon he can’t seem to shake. This odd beast that lives all alone in the in-between, ready to devour its first meal in centuries. Maybe more.

It’s hurtling towards him, but he’s so close.

He picks up the pace. The blurry edge of the mysterious object is finally in view. In two more strides, Ben is there. He smacks his hands against the membrane and peers beyond its thick, rubbery film. What he sees makes him gasp.

The object he almost saw when he first got here. The one he so desperately wanted to see just a moment ago. The one he’d hoped would provide answers.

It’s a chain.

Thoughts flood his mind, new information and theories stretching through it like veins full of newfound blood and life.

“Does that mean—”

The sound of hundreds of tree branches snapping at once cracks through the air. Ben jumps back and watches the membrane, searching for any tear or break in the skin. The sound continues, growing more chaotic—splitting branches and the crash of glass. But nothing happens. He inspects the membrane, eyeing it and touching it, but nothing is wrong with it. Nothing happened.

Then another sound breaks through the noise. One that is even less invited.

Before Ben can turn around and face his devil, a face appears on the other side of the membrane. The sight makes Ben’s skin crawl. He leans forward, sweat pilling against his skin. It’s a man. A rough-looking man with a sinister smile, and hair like splayed feathers. Whatever peace Ben was holding inside of him this whole time is immediately pinched out like a dying flame. He wants to kill this man. And the man knows it. The man smiles.

“I’ll tell her you say ‘hi’,” Zeth says with a wink, and then vanishes into thin air.

Something inside of Ben snaps. He lets out a piercing cry of rage and hits the membrane over and over again. He kicks and strikes, yelling and screaming. Crimson flames could be burning through his skin right now and he wouldn’t notice past the erupting fury pooling from his veins. His cries are molten daggers in the dispensed air within this monochromatic torture chamber. In this nowhere world he’s trapped inside.

As if this weren’t enough, an ice-hot strike of pain hisses up his back. He hits the floor. Agony strains his body, both inside and out—the fear and sorrow of Rey and their son being in danger, and the agony of his body almost split in two. It’s so excruciating—hollowing—he can’t even scream. He can’t make a sound.

Death was nothing like this.

**

“AAAAHHH!” Rey howls. “Owww…what was that?” She rubs her lower back and looks to her right, unwittingly expecting BB-8 to be by her side. She sits back in her seat, letting her head rest against it. With the pain now gone, Rey’s focus is on the moment. On being alone.

She sighs. “I miss you, BB-8. You helped me through a lot of this. It’s hard having you gone.” Her mind trails off, and she hears nothing. She wishes she heard something. Of course, Ben’s voice would be her first choice, but right now she just wishes she had someone to talk to. To hear her and be there for her.

A sudden jolt against her ribs reminds her she’s not alone. Rey smiles. “Aw. I’m sorry, Little Fish. I didn’t mean anything by it. I just wish I had someone here to help me is all…I can’t hear you…” Reality settles into Rey’s mind. The reality of her quest and the gravity of it all, and on her way to Exogal. “How is my baby going to guide me to Exogal...” Rey whispers. She shakes her head and starts powering up the ship. With each flicked switch, her anxiety increases. “We’re running out of time. How do I feel my baby’s guidance? How do I do this?” She lets out a strained grumble. She’s about to scream when Calyn’s voice enters her mind: Trust your feelings.

She sighs. Securing her safety belts, she puts a hand on an acceleration lever. “Well, here it goes.” She pushes on it and lifts off the ground. With one more push of a lever, she’s soaring through the sky. She looks down at the grassy planet below and smiles. What a beautiful place. Maybe I can bring Ben here to pay a visit to Calyn when everything is said and done. She turns her head and beholds the stars before her. They’re gulping her up into the galaxy, ready to take her somewhere new. “One planet down,” she says.

Entering orbit, Rey tries to center herself and reach out to her baby. “Please. Help me,” she whispers, a hand now placed on her stomach. “Help me find him.” A familiar warmth touches her fingertips, like tiny sparks kissing her before flying away. She looks down. Her stomach feels different. Her baby isn’t moving, but she senses he’s alive. She feels his Force. It’s never been clearer. He’s in there. And he’s using the Force. She smiles and whispers, “Bring me to him. Show me where to go.”

Rey doesn’t know what she was expecting, but she didn’t see a vision or any type of map when her connection with her baby fizzles back to normal. Her mouth scrunches into a frown, and she’s about to try again when something enters her mind. That same spark. A matching set, from her fingertips to her mind.

She waits and she waits. Nothing’s happening. I don’t feel or see anything.

After a few more minutes of waiting in confusion, Rey decides to keep moving forward, even if she may be going in the wrong direction. As she does, surprisingly, the tension in her muscles disappears. Relaxing back in her seat, she lets out a breath. She feels peace, and a surprising surge of strength. Then she hears something.

At first, she thinks it’s her baby. Then it gets louder. “You can’t reach her! You’ll never get to them! I won’t let you!”

She gasps. “Ben?” She looks around but doesn’t see any sign of him. No vision. No apparition. Nothing. She doesn’t even feel any distress within herself, other than the newly formed anxiety of hearing him speak. Was he speaking to that monster? That shadow of the Force? The one Calyn told me about?

She reaches out to him. Ben! I’m coming! I—"AAAAH!” The same searing pain burns through her. It pulses up her back and gnaws at her stomach. As she sweats and tries her best to resist writhing in pain while piloting her ship, she reaches out again. Ben. Where are you?

**

“Don’t touch them! If you touch them, I’ll kill you!” Ben yells through the membrane. He’s still on the ground and the fog-like monster isn’t giving up. It’s no use shouting past the barrier anyway. The man is gone.

Another flash of pain runs down Ben’s back. He grits his teeth and pushes himself off the floor and against the membrane. The monster pushes him against it again.

What am I going to do? Ben pleads to himself.

A familiar wind ripples through him. Time nearly stops.

Ben, that thing you’re up against—the thing that’s holding you captive. It’s the shadow of the Force

“Rey, you’re okay!” he beams, a smile appearing on his face, despite the fact that he’s in spitting distance from a monster from another world. He wipes his sweat with the back of his hand and calls back to her again. “Wait, what? The shadow?”

Yes! It’s the complete opposite of the Force. It lives in unbalance—in the cracks between worlds—and feeds off others’ misfortunes and woes. It wants to destroy us, because we will be its downfall. We will bring balance to the Force, and it will cease to exist. Use the Force against it as much as you can, Ben, and you should be okay. If it’s the opposite and can’t live with the Force, then use the Force against it.

“Thank you, my love, and, oh, Rey! Rey, please watch out for Zeth. I tried to get to him, but I couldn’t. He’s going to try to kill you for good this time. Please.”

Zeth? O-Of course, Ben. We’re in this together.

When her voice disappears, he shifts his eyes back on the monster. Pieces to the puzzle Ben has been lost within start falling together. He’s in the World Between Worlds. This demon is the shadow of the Force. I’m in between worlds with a creature who can’t live with the Force… his eyes grow wide and he stares into the maw of the beast. That’s why those balled-up energy beams materialize from the Force and into my hands. They’re actual pieces of the Force.

In his mind, Ben thanks Rey a million times and then pushes his thoughts to her with the message: Soon. We’ll be together soon. Then, looking into the mouth, belly, and entirety of the beast—right into its depths—he starts moving his hands. He swivels them around each other, gathering energy from the Force.

Just as he’s about to launch his attack, the creature pins him to the membrane wall, picks him up in the air, and then smashes him against it once more. A thousand weights lie on his chest—all whirring and cracking. The creature pushes him and pushes him until he’s almost through the barrier altogether.

That’s it.

One more puzzle piece nestles into place.

Ben slowly rolls his wrists and starts pushing his hands together, fighting through the raging storm as the funneling monster whirs all around him—everywhere but behind him. When his hands meet, he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and then, opening his eyes, he pushes with every ounce of energy he has left inside him at the demon. The tangible energy from the Force is beautiful to behold. And powerful. He watches as it spreads like a silvery beam from his hands.

He looks over his shoulder and pushes one of his hands towards the barrier from behind. With one hand out at the beast and the other behind his back, Ben floods the lair with Force power. There’s no way he’s doing this alone. He can feel it. Right now, he has the help of all the Jedi before him.

Be with me

Everything goes bright and then crashes fill the air. Together the sensations create brilliant, vibrant drums cascading light around him like honey from a sun.

Then it all goes away.

Ben hits the floor with a loud smack. He groans in pain and then immediately realizes something’s off. Not off, but different. The air is quiet, and clean. The ground beneath feels cool and gritty. His jaw drops, and as he rises to his feet, he can’t look away from what he sees just a few feet away. A sight for eyes as sore and weary as his.

It’s the monster. Trapped like a bug beneath a glass.

Ben’s broken through the barrier.

He’s finally free.

Chapter Text

Everything is calm now. Within a span of two minutes, things went from pain to confusion, to distress, then to excitement, and then it all vanished completely, leaving Rey to just sit in her ship, her eyes glued to the palm of her hand. She stares at it. Nothing’s on it, but just moments ago, she swears there was.

She softly rubs her fingers together as if feeling water spilling over them. “I felt his hand,” she says, still staring at it, her voice cutting into the empty air. “He feels…closer than ever before.” Her mind bounds to what happened just seconds before. It all happened so fast. She was struck with such excruciating pain, like someone kicking her lower back, and then it sounded an alarm inside of her that made all the muscles in her body tighten. Then, it left as swiftly as it came, and as she caught her breath, she felt a strange pull, as if someone were tugging her in a direction she didn’t know she needed to go.

Then she felt it. He needed help. She got a glimpse of him fighting that monster. It was horrifying to see for herself. She listened to Calyn talk about it, and she imagined what it might look and be like, but none of that prepared her for what she saw. None of what she imagined came close to what the creature actually looked like. And felt like. Even though she was somewhere else entirely—in a completely different plane of living—that short glimpse of the thing sent shocks of horror and sorrow all through her body. It was like peering into a nightmare.

And next to it was Ben.

Her heart beat a million times a minute, and it took breaking through the paralysis of fear to reach out and help Ben. She snapped herself out of the trance, slowly, like pulling her arms out of thick, heavy goo. All she knew to do after that was to reach out her hand and try to help in some way. That’s when she heard it. “Be with me,” he said. So she did. She pushed herself over to him through the Force and reached her hand out to grab his. When she did, she felt him. The real him. She felt power and fire and knew she wasn’t the only one there to help him. But she knew it was up to her to pull him closer. To pull him through.

She grabbed hold of his hand, shut her eyes, and pulled as hard as she could.

Then it was gone. The powerful fire. The touch of Ben’s skin. All of it.

She doesn’t even have time to figure this all out—how all of this happened, and what exactly did happen. She just has to get to him.

She pushes onto the accelerator and steers closer to Exogal. She feels it now. She knows exactly where to go. The barrier’s getting thin. She, her baby, and Ben are almost reunited, and the power between them is strong. Our bond…

A power like life itself.

Rey takes a sharp turn sideways and rattles her ship. She looks out at the stars. Each one of them shines so brightly.  She never stopped and looked at the galaxy like this before. It looks different. The stars dimple the sky and form clusters around planets. They guide the way through light and pictures. They really are beautiful.

Her thoughts are interrupted by her baby flopping in her belly. She smiles. “We’re almost there, Little Fish. Exogal’s close. I can feel it.” She keeps moving, picking up the speed even more now. I don’t think this ship can take any more speed. Still, she tries. Panic floods her mind and tightens her chest. What if I don’t make it in time?” she whispers. Planets jet past her. She’s almost there. The air is cold around her and nervous chills spread pimples across her skin. Some of them aren’t from fear—some are from excitement. Ben, I’m almost there. I can’t wait! What’s going to happen? What are we going to do?

She lets the light inside her and revels in the joy she’s about to feel. The joy of reunion and togetherness at long last. But one thing still bothers her. It’s a feeling—a thought—she can’t shake: Why do I feel I have to get to him so soon if I already pulled him to our side?

“It doesn’t make any sense…this feeling…danger. I know he’s not safe. But why? I don’t understand…”

Her voice trails off as the mists around her gobble her whole. They’re thick and uninviting, but they lead her to the place she wished she never had to see again, but it’s the planet she needs to go to save the man she loves.

Exogal.

Its atmosphere is as eerie and bone-chilling as she remembers. The way it shudders in the darkness, and the feeling she gets as she draws closer to its depths. Everything about this place sends ghostly spiders crawling up her spine.

She flicks the necessary switches to bring her down. Everything’s ready. Now all she has to do is land. Her hand trembles as she pulls that last lever to dive all the way in. To descend to the place she lost the other half of her soul.

Now she’s here to find him again. To bring him home.

Rey eyes the slick platform she left on the last time she was here. She can make out every crack on its surface when the pain hits her again. This time it’s at full force.

It feels like every muscle inside her body is pulling and yanking inside her, like reins on a tauntaun. Her back is tense, and the pain is fierce. She braces herself as she lands the ship.

Thankfully, she lands in one piece.

She’s finally here.

*

The place Ben finds around him is nothing like the caverns he’s frequented over the last few months, but it’s nothing like the real world either. It’s a small dome, spongy to the touch, without any light or life other than Ben and the chain hanging in the middle of the room.

Is this…part of the real galaxy, where Rey is finding me…or is this the one I just left behind? Or somewhere else?

Ben scans the room. It’s a lot darker than he thought it’d be. The light must have only been coming from the auditorium he just left behind, and must stay there locked in a pocket of space. The light on the other side isn’t showing. Nothing’s showing at all. Nothing but the chain, and the opening it’s falling into on the floor.

He walks to it—to the large chain twisting down into a seemingly bottomless pit below. The opening itself looks like a mirror into another world, or a small pond belching out shocks of light between bouts of pure darkness. He makes a face as he creeps closer.

“This chain looks so familiar,” he says, his voice echoing wildly against the odd chasm encasing him, “I’ve seen it somewhere before.” With the next flash of light comes a memory:

He’s out of breath. His heart is racing. Sweat trickles down his neck. But he doesn’t care. He has to get to her. He jumps.

The memory passes like a fleeting dream, and Ben is wide awake. “It was here,” he says, “This chain leads down to Exogal.” Rey. Before he can think of anything else, he reaches out to her.

Rey. I know where I am. I’m on Exogal.

His eyes stay closed as he searches for her. Then her face materializes in his mind. Rey, I know where I am! I’m on Exogal.

Her face lights up as she hears his voice. Ben? Her hand claps on her mouth and she lets out a silent sob. Ben. I was so worried I’d be too late.

No, I’m right here! Please come to me.

His body feels so warm as he sees her in his mind like this. She’s so beautiful, and she’s carrying the life of their baby. Tears soak her cheeks as she both cries and smiles. He’s about to speak to her again when she wipes her cheeks, nodding, and says, I’m on Exogal, too. Where are you?

His heart soars. “This is it,” he whispers to himself, “It’s finally happening. She’s here. We’ll be together at last.”

I’m at the top of this chain. I’ll meet you over here. It’s close to where I disappeared.

Rey laughs as new tears stream down her face. Okay, but you’re going to have to meet me at the bottom. I’m about to burst over here. I—her face strains and her hands fall to the tops of her thighs. She bends forward slightly, her face scrunching up. She starts letting out small cries of pain.

Rey? Are you all right? What—is it the baby? I’m coming—

Rey looks to her right, as if someone called her by name.

Ben’s stomach drops.

A face falls into view. A person.

A man.

Zeth.

Rey staggers back, one hand against her lower back. Zeth lunges towards her with otherworldly strength Ben knows isn’t his alone. The vile creature he just escaped from is the puppeteer, lending its strength to a person easily swayed by its power.

The man twists and throws his arm out like a weapon and hits Rey in the back of the head. She falls to her knees.

“NO!” Ben screams. He opens his eyes and lunges for the chain. He jumps to grab hold of it and then lets himself fall down as quickly as he can without plunging to a more permanent death. As he is about to pass through to the world he’s been searching for, his feet hit something hard and he crumples to the ground. His head shoots up and he looks around. Nothing’s changed. He went nowhere. He looks below him and sees himself sitting on the opening. “No. No. NO! NO!!!” He punches the opening over and over again, but nothing works. He jumps back up onto the chain and plunges himself down onto the opening, but it’s no use. It just inflicts more pain onto his already sore legs.

The entrance between worlds is rock solid. It looks completely translucent, but it’s locked from his side.

Only someone alive can bring him to the side of the living.

“Rey,” he breathes, and then concentrates.

Rey!

*

The man comes at her again. She holds out her hand and pushes against him with the Force, sending him flying to the other side of the room. She grunts as the jolt of pain rises in her back, stretches to her stomach, and gets increasingly worse by the second. On top of that, her face burns, and her breaths feel shallow.

It’s starting to calm down when she hears Ben’s voice.

Rey! I’m stuck—I can’t get out this way! I think only you can get me. You’re on the side of the living. I can’t pass through the barrier. I think the only way I can come back is if you come and get me yourself.

Rey examines the chain, just barely in view, and eyes it all the way into the foggy sky. She shakes her head. “I can’t climb that while I’m pregnant….”

“Shame, isn’t it?” A man’s voice that isn’t Ben’s rings in Rey’s ears. It’s the man from before.

“You,” she says, gritting her teeth.

“Zeth, actually. You know, you should really take a rest for a while. I don’t want to hurt a pregnant woman—”

“You left me to die after beating me on Geonosis!”

He purses his lips and nods. “Well, I guess that’s true, but you’re much more pregnant now. That would just be cruel.” Rey scowls at him, but he continues with a smile, “You can fight me as much as you want, but I think it’s only a fair fight if you wait until your baby’s born first.”

Rey narrows her eyes. “Why do you want that? And what makes you think I’d fight after giving birth? My baby would be helpless with no one to care for him, and my body would be in no better condition than it’s in now.” She walks closer to him, but he backs away.

“Yeah, but I won’t hurt a baby.”

“You’re a disgusting human being who left a pregnant woman out to die,” Rey spits, “I don’t want to find out where your moral boundaries are.”

He smiles, revealing murky, crooked teeth. “Well, I hope you don’t mind if I take a little rest then. I think you should, too. I want to fight at both of our bests.” Rey’s confusion is clear on her face, and she doesn’t know what to do next.

What are you up to? Why don’t you want me to fight?

Another pain shoots through Rey’s abdomen, causing a sudden jolt of pain that sends Rey back down to her knees. She yells, and the whole arena shakes. The same feelings flood her as before—pain from her back to her stomach, pulling at her abdomen, and heat rising in her face as her body curls inward.

“It looks like the baby’s ready, so why don’t you—”

“RAAAH!” Rey pushes the Force at the man, sending him away like before. He falls and skids along the floor on his back, but he gets up without hesitation.

Fear pricks up her spine.

“I know you’re his little lackey,” Rey shouts to the man, slowly making her way to the chain, as conspicuous as possible. “The only power you have is from that creature on the other side. It’s only using you.”

The man laughs, bellowing against the cold stones covering the empty planet.

“You think you’re going to intimidate me?”

“I don’t need to do anything. I’m not afraid of you.”

He scoffs. “Yeah, well, you can try your best at whatever it is you want to do, but I think I’m going to rest a bit. I’m going to kill you anyway, so wouldn’t you want your son to be born first? Ya know, so he can live when you’re dead?”  

Rey’s face goes pale. Why does he want me to give birth so badly? “How do you know it’s a boy?” she asks.

“You said so yourself, darlin’,” he says, walking closer to her as he eyes her up and down. Her stomach lurches.

“I said ‘he’, but I didn’t say I knew.”

“Look, you can’t play mind games with me, d—”

Mind games.

Rey closes her eyes and reaches into the man’s mind. It’s surprisingly easy (yet, at the same time, not shocking). She searches, finding anywhere that brings her where she needs to be. She finds it, and so much information rushes into her mind at once. All the information she needs.

Her heart nearly stops when she processes it all. When she finds out what she somehow knew all along, making sense of the feelings she knew were more than just feelings. That final piece fell into her lap, and now it all makes sense.

I have to get to Ben before the baby is born, or it’ll be too late. Our baby is tied to our prophecy and destiny. He’s part of both of us. If he comes out of me, causing part of Ben’s soul to be outside of me, Ben will die. He’ll be stuck between worlds, or maybe somewhere else entirely, forever. I won’t have a second chance. I have to reach him now.

She opens her eyes and fixes them on the chain. Fear mounts inside her. I have to climb that thing. Pregnant. And in pain.

“What did you just do?” Zeth asks, wiping a hand in the air in front of her face. He’s close enough now where he could try to hit her if he wanted to.

She can’t let him know she knows anything, but she has to get to Ben. Now.

“I was…trying to figure out what to do next. I…I just don’t get why you want to fight me after I have a baby. It doesn’t make sense.” Slowly, her feet shuffle backward.

Zeth looks at her incredulously as he walks toward her. She picks up her pace walking backward and he walks toward her. “You know something,” he says. She freezes, but then keeps shuffling. “I saw that,” he says. Rey pushes down any and all fear bubbling inside her.

“Y-You…you must be tired after your journey. I think you’re right. I think we should rest a bit and then fight after I give birth. I had a change of heart when I was…uh…thinking earlier.”

Something in the air has changed. There’s an unspoken shift between them. Zeth squints his eyes at her, his body as stiff and lanky as a reed.

I can’t play these games anymore. I don’t have time.

“Zeth, I know you’re being enticed by that evil creature. But if the connection between Ben and I is severed, I don’t know if you’ll even be alive anymore. Why don’t you just play it safe and leave here now? You don’t need your millions, or power, or whatever else that thing promised you. Just leave with your life and count yourself lucky. Because if you don’t, I’ll have no choice but to fight you, and that won’t go well for you.”

Zeth guffaws, his whole body shaking as he laughs. Rey doesn’t care what he has to say next. She has to go.

She turns around and bolts toward the chain. She jumps over obstacles and pulls columns down behind her with the Force and races there as fast as she can, hoping the trail she leaves behind her will keep Zeth at bay, at least until she brings Ben over from the other side. Time is running out. The fear of losing Ben is souring her stomach and fogging her senses, but she keeps running. She has to make it to him. She won’t allow anything else to happen. Nothing can stop this. For her entire life, she was alone. She grew up without any friends on Jakku. She always tried, but it was a rough everyone-for-themselves type of world. She never knew what it felt like to be loved or to fall in love. Until she met Ben. Then everything changed. All those feelings of love, friendship, and belonging were there all along—they were just in a net above her head, waiting to be broken down to fall on top of her. When she and Ben fell in love and knew they would never be alone again, that net fell on top of both of them. Together, they found love, friendship, and belonging. Together, they were enough. Together, they were home.

She’s not going to give that up for a life of loneliness and regret. This is her chance at the life she’s always wanted. This is her chance to be with the other half of her soul. Nothing will stand in her way. If anything tries, she’ll knock it down and carry on.

She’s finally just paces away from the chain. She can almost feel it beneath her fingertips. Flutters of excitement and relief power through her. Ben, I’m here! She reaches for the chain.

Then the pain hits her again. It’s stronger this time. She can’t move. All she can do is tremble and scream in agony. She falls to the base of the chain, but she grabs onto it with one arm. She tries to lift herself up but struggles to move an inch.

After a minute, the pain resigns, and she’s able to stand up again. Sweat is now covering her forehead, but she lifts her body onto the second link in the chain. I’m coming up. Ben, please help me. I need help coming up. Please.

Another blast of pain erupts from her body, but this time it’s her leg. It’s been shot by something. By someone. Her body wobbles on the chain before sliding back to the ground. Zeth is coming at her with a blaster. Panic rises in her throat. Something else hits her legs, but it doesn’t hurt. It’s just wet.

She gasps.

Ben, I think my water just broke.

Chapter 26

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Rey’s able to hold Zeth off by pushing him back with the Force again, but he seems to be getting more resistant—stronger, somehow. She breathes heavily and turns to the chain. The pain is returning, and it’s even greater now. She has an intense need to cry, but she knows she has no choice but to climb. She can hear Zeth move behind her, so she braces through the pain and takes it one link at a time.

She puts her foot inside one of the links and tries to pull herself up at the same time. The weight of her belly combined with the pains that come and go with immense strength are almost too much to bear. But she keeps going. Then she hears something. A large boom. Then another. And another. A gust of wind flows through the cathedral. Something’s here.

*

Ben watches Rey through the clear barrier. Her face is red, and she looks to be in excruciating pain. He puts his hand on the thick wall between them, begging the Force between them to let him come to her aid. Frantically, he takes a step back and puts out his hands so that he’s hovering over the barrier and looking directly at Rey, with outstretched arms. He starts pulling, using the Force to help her guide up, at least taking the edge off her ascent. She starts climbing with greater ease, which makes him breathe a little easier.

His mind stays focused until something flickers out of the corner of his eye. He looks to his right and gapes at the horror behind the barrier to the other world—to where the fog-like monster reigns. It’s moving wildly, forcing its image upon him, as if taunting him somehow. Ben looks at it, confused. What...is going on—

BEN! Rey cries out. Ben looks back towards her but sees her image clear in his mind—clearer than he could by watching her from above.

What is it? What’s wrong? He asks, his heart pounding in his ears.

Ben, there are creatures! They’re coming out of the ground. I don’t know what they are.

What? Ben utters. He’s about to search his mind to see what she’s talking about when he sees lifeless bodies—corpses— rise from the depths below. They’re moving—shuddering in the air—and taunting Rey, ready to attack. He looks at the creature behind the glass. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HER?!” he screams, but as he does, he senses her distress. He looks below and sees her making headway, but her hand has slipped. “Oh no.” He puts his hands back out and helps her up.

Ben, I don’t know if I can make it, she says through struggling breaths. I can’t… she lets out a scream of pain and her hand starts to slip again. He watches her from above. And he watches in fear as the ghost-like creatures and Zeth all start closing in on her.

“Wait,” he says. He looks over to the fog-like creature. It’s twirling around and hissing at him. He narrows his eyes. “ You have no power outside the World Between Worlds.” It hisses and squeals at him. He keeps his resolve. “All you can do is influence people…and maybe move some objects harmlessly…but you have no power. The force binds you.” It whirls and hisses madly. Ben smirks. “Nice try.”

*

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” she screams. For the first time since Geonosis, Rey shoots lightning from her fingertips and casts away the corpses flying her way. Her labor pains are getting worse, and as they do, her rage brews like a vicious, out-of-control fire.

Rey! Ben calls to her. She sees his face in his mind, just like she did when they reached each other on Exogal for the first time. On that horrible day a few months back. Rey, he says again, these creatures aren’t real. They’re just lifeless corpses the anti-Force creature is sending at you. It’s pulling out all the stops to keep you from reaching me. You can do this! Keep going! They can’t hurt you! All they can do is distract you. You can do this!

She’s high enough to see him clearly now. She can make out his expression and the shape of his body against the glass-like opening. Excitement bubbles inside her. This is it! It’s finally going to happen.

She can see Ben’s expression sour. Fear’s in his eyes, and he’s shouting something. Before she can turn to look, a blaster grazes her arm.

Being able to see Ben’s expression makes the fall even harder. Her hands slide off the chain, and her body soon follows. Tumbling through the air, she watches as Ben’s face grows farther and farther away. Be with me. She cries to him. Be with me. Please.

Time slows, but all Rey can think about is Ben and the life she longs to share with him. The life she may never have. The life she wanted. The fear that he’ll be trapped in that corner between worlds makes her stomach twist. His fate will be worse than hers if she fails.

Disorientation clogs her senses as she flips backward in the air. She squints her eyes shut and, one more time, calls out to Ben and to any Jedi who will hear her plea. Be with me.

Her eyes remain shut tight as she waits for the inevitable.

She continues falling for a while, and the hope inside her starts to sink into the bottom of her stomach. Ben, I—

Her body jerks in the air. Her eyes open and she sees that she’s upside down. She’d stopped falling and, instead, is getting pushed upward. When she’s right-side up again, she looks to Ben, whose hands are outstretched, his face in a state of shock. She looks to her side and spots the chain. She grabs hold of it and wedges her feet inside one of the links. That’s when she notices her stomach. Her eyes bulge. She looks back up to Ben, who looks equally surprised. Her stomach is glowing and vibrating slightly. They share a look of excitement and awe as they look from her belly to each other. Their baby is a Force user like no one they’ve ever heard of or seen. Ben reached out to her as she fell, slowing her descent, but their baby caught their fall and pushed her to safety. Together, all three of the new Solo family, worked to keep each other safe and bring each other home.

After the glow falls away, Rey’s body feels more drained than ever, and the stabbing pain in the lower half of her body gets worse. It pierces her from her lower back and stomach up. Her body is hot and her arms are weak, but she doesn’t give up. She pulls herself up on each link of the chain, slowly creeping her way to Ben. Both his hands are stretched out to her now, pulling her through the Force. She recognizes his strained look of concentration and effort as he pulls her up to him. Her arms are even weaker than before as the pain overtakes her, but Ben’s efforts aren’t in vain. His pull through the Force helps her up and keeps her going. They look into each other’s eyes as she makes it closer. She’s so close when she hears the screams of Zeth beneath her. He’s crawling up the chain faster than humanly possible. Between him and the beasts flooding the cathedral, Rey finds a new sense of danger than just her own physical limitations.

She looks back up, struggling and straining to do so, her arms shaking as she climbs. Ben is watching her. She sees him mouthing her name, his arms pulling even harder now. A hand grabs her ankle. One of her hands slips. Zeth’s eyes are yellow and wild, and his mouth is oozing something dark as he laughs. “You’ll never make it now!” he growls at her. He lifts his other hand to grab at her stomach, but she uses her loose hand to grab his face with the Force. “You will never come between me and my family again.” With that, she lets out every ounce of anger inside her, fueled by her pain and anguish, and thrusts him off the chain.

She watches as he plummets to the ground, swift and angry, his face still seething as he spirals to the ground. He hits it with a thud. Rey half-expects the beasts to disappear too, but they don’t. That’s not how this anti-Force creature works. The only thing that will destroy it is her reunion with Ben, meeting between worlds and balancing the Force.

She looks up and realizes she’s in arm’s length of reaching him. He’s in the middle of a small ring at the top of this odd, eerie world. It’s like a puddle that shows his reflection, not hers, as smoke and fog obscure anything else from view. They meet eye contact through the barrier, and for a moment, she forgets her pain. She forgets her sore muscles. She forgets her aching back and the cramps yanking beneath her skin. All she sees is the man she loves. The one she’s worked so hard to find. The one she’s yearned to bring back home.

The strain on his face has faded and is now softened, and calm. She smiles at him, and although a storm is raging around them, they don’t see it. They don’t feel it. Her eyes are stuck in his gaze. He smiles at her and mouths “I love you.” She inhales sharply and smiles, tears forming in her eyes. Slowly, she reaches her hand up to meet his. As she does, Ben smiles and does the same, reaching down to touch her through the strange barrier between worlds. Their hands stretch out to meet, and for a moment, Rey’s brought back to that hut on Ahch-To, when they touched hands for the first time. They had been so scared and excited that day, but when their fingers finally touched, all hesitation was gone. All fear fell away. In that moment, they knew they were not alone. In that moment, they knew that being together was their road map home.  

Now, Rey smiles as she pierces the barrier—the barrier that kept them apart this whole time—and reaches to finally bring him home. She keeps her eyes on Ben, who doesn’t look away from her as he grabs hold of her hand and, with a face filling with emotion, pulls her closer to him. She reaches her other hand up, and he takes that one too. Rey watches Ben as he pulls her up. She passes through the barrier and into a new world. Her smile broadens as he brings her through. But as soon as her feet pass through the barrier, and she’s left her world behind, everything around them goes black.

Rey can’t see Ben or herself. Or anything.

Ben’s no longer in that odd room between their world and the one he escaped from, and Rey is no longer on Exogal. They appear to be nowhere at all.

Rey looks around once. Then twice. Nothing.

But when she turns around one more time, that’s when she sees him. Ben. He’s standing there in a dark shirt resembling the one he had on when he died. The one she grew to love and remember him by. And just a split second after she sees him, he sees her too. When he does, his eyes fill with tears and his lip starts to quiver. “It’s you,” he says, his voice shaky.

A lump forms in Rey’s throat, and she finds it hard to speak. Tears fall down her cheeks. “It’s me,” she says, “Just me.” She laughs shakily, and as he remembers the same thing she does, he quietly laughs too, tears spilling down his face. They remember the first time they saw each other through the Force. When all he could see was her, and all she could see was him. They couldn’t see each other’s surroundings. Only them. Just them.

Rey’s body trembles and tears fall even harder down her face. “I thought I’d never see you again,” she whispers.

Ben moves closer to her and sweeps her up into his arms. He holds her as tightly as he can, pressing her against him and holding her like he hadn’t seen her in an entire lifetime.

That’s what it felt like to them.

They searched for each other their entire lives, without even realizing it. Their souls were always yearning for each other, desperately wanting to reattach and become one again. Then they found each other and were ripped apart once more.

So, a lifetime is how long it’s been, and Ben never wants to let her go again.

They’re finally together, and nothing—and no one—can ever take that away from them again.

Rey grabs hold of him and holds him as tightly as she can. Her muscles may still be sore, but she doesn’t notice. She just knows she made it. Ben’s finally with her. They’re home.

She lies her head on his shoulder and lets herself sob. He holds her close, his hand on the back of her head, and then he lifts her face to his and kisses her. If there was a world around them to melt, it would. Rey has never felt more alive than she does in this moment. She kisses him back and lets herself go. She’s his. Completely, wholly, truly his.

They’re together, shrouded in darkness, in a moment. One that holds nothing but them. And they could never be happier. Ben’s lips leave hers only to kiss all over her face and then land on her forehead and back to her lips again. Rey gives him one last kiss before falling back into his arms, with her face pressed against his chest.

“I’ve missed you so much,” she cries.

Ben’s body trembles as he tries to compose himself enough to speak. Finally, realizing he can’t stop the tears, he whispers, “I’ve missed you too. So much.”

Then they hold each other. Nothing that ever happened is relevant anymore. Nothing behind them or ahead even passes through their minds.

And for a moment, it’s just the two of them. Rey of Jakku. Ben Solo, the son of Han and Leia. Two souls meant to be one. Two people from vastly different worlds and backgrounds, completely different lives, with identical hearts. Identical souls. Forever born to be one.

And finally, for the first time in both of their lives, all is well.

Then the space around them—wherever in space and time they may be—starts to shake. Their bodies quake along with it, but they just hold each other tighter, refusing to let anything else separate them from each other again. The darkness crumbles into light, and they watch it all fold like fabric to the space beneath their feet. In its place is a brightness that envelopes them in warmth and light. It forms a blurred dome around them. It’s hard to see it, but Rey spots a small opening amidst the light. It looks like a small tear leading to somewhere more concrete. She peers over to it, then lifts her head from Ben’s chest. Squinting, she takes a step forward. Ben reflexively grabs hold of her hand.

She looks at him with a dimpled smile and says, “Don’t worry, Ben. I’ll never let go.” She squeezes his hand in hers and keeps walking, leading him along to the small tear in the universe they seem to have created.

Once they make it to the opening, Rey touches it with her hand. When she does, the light around them sparks and falls around them like broken crystals. As they fall away, Rey and Ben watch a world form around them. A familiar scent fills Rey’s nose as she and Ben watch a blue sky form above their heads.

As the crystals float away and everything around them becomes clear, Rey gasps. She feels Ben bristle and knows he’s thinking the same thing. For a few seconds, neither of them moves. They just scan their new surroundings.

Rey takes a step forward. “Ben,” she says, her voice hitching in her throat. “This—”

“I know…” he says. He takes his eyes off the planet around them and looks at her. They both smile, emotion welling in both of them.

“It’s…our world.” They look out at the vast landscape in front of them. The familiar scent of ocean air floods their noses and kisses their skin. The sand against the deep blue of the water, right next to the field of flowers expanding to the horizon. “We…we made this, Ben.” She looks at him with both confusion and excitement. “Ben. We made this. How did that happen?”

Ben shakes his head and laughs—the kind of laugh that comes out when you’re both so happy and so emotional, and relieved and excited, all at the same time. When everything in life is so overwhelmingly beautiful, after a long journey of things being very, very hard.

They walk into the world of their own creation and marvel at the beauty they made together.

“All those nights we reached each other…” she says, “Every time we met here. Every time we explored part of it…We must have…”

“We must have created more of it,” he finishes. They turn to each other, still in overwhelming amounts of shock and excitement.

“How did we do that?” Rey asks again.

“We…we didn’t have a place to meet when we were apart,” Ben says, looking off in thought, “Since we’re a dyad and can’t be separated, our stubborn souls must have found a way to bring us together. So—”

“We made our own place to meet,” Rey says softly, “So…we created a new world.” She looks at him and repeats, “We created our own world.” Ben laughs in disbelief, his hand clasping his face.

“I can’t believe it…this is incredible,” he says, looking out into the sky, “It makes sense, though. At first, when I saw you, I met you on Tatooine. Our world started to form. At one point we saw each other in darkness, but then after a while, we came here.”

Rey laughs and starts running towards the field they ran through just a few nights ago, her hand never letting go of his. He runs after her, laughing as she says, “That’s why it all felt so real! It was real the whole time! We were here! WE WERE HERE!” she shouts. She throws her arms up in the air and spins. When she wobbles and curls forward in pain. She lets out a cry, and her hands form fists at her sides. Ben rushes to catch her.

“I think you forgot that you’re pregnant, my dear,” he says with a concerned smile. She smiles back, pain evident on her face, but she’s too happy to pay any mind to it. “Let’s get you on a nice, soft patch of grass,” he says. “Preferably in the shade.” He winks at her and holds her elbows as they walk together to somewhere she can lie down.

When they finally reach a good place with some shade, Ben helps her take a seat on a bed of flowers. Rey watches him. He’s looking at her fondly as he sits down next to her. She rests her head on his shoulder until her breathing calms and the pain has fully passed. When it does, she reaches up and kisses him on the lips.

“I love you, Ben Solo.” She looks up at him and takes in every detail of his face. His warm eyes, his long black hair. The way his smile lights up his whole face. Every part of him is a masterpiece to her.

He smiles bashfully as he runs his hands along her cheek. He plays with a strand of her hair, twisting it around his finger, and then looks down into her eyes.

“And I love you. Enough to create an entire world just to see you.”

Her cheeks flush. She lets out a small laugh as her body fills with the warmth of happiness she never could have imagined. “What a coincidence,” she says, reaching up to kiss him again, “I was going to say the exact same thing.”

 

Notes:

I titled the wonderful picture at the end "The Reunion." The lovely artist who brought my vision to life in this piece of art is @QookyQuiche, who can be found on Tumblr here: at https://quiche-draws.tumblr.com/.

I loved writing this chapter. This is what we've all been waiting for, and I hope you all liked the result. <3 I'm excited for the rest of the chapters from here on out, too. We're in the homestretch now. :)

Chapter Text

 

Only one more moment goes by before Rey’s face twists in pain. She falls back onto her elbows in the grass, sweat pilling along her hairline. The whole lower half of her body feels like a tightening cord ready to snap. “Ben,” she whimpers, “I don’t know if I can do this.” Her breathing’s heavy as she wonders if anything has ever caused her more physical anguish than this. Ben watches in horror as the pain inside her visibly intensifies. She yells into the air, and her hands ball into fists in the ground beside her. The soil moves between her fingers as she grabs hold of anything she can—anything that can help dull this pain.

Ben moves in closer, everything in his face and demeanor reflects how scared and lost he feels. Rey can tell he wants to touch her but is too afraid of hurting her. Finally, he just touches her cheek, looks into her eyes and says, “You can do this. You can do anything. I’ve seen it.” His deep voice soothes her. She looks up to meet him, and her heart bursts. Warmth floods through her. Despite the pain, her heart is full, and she can’t stop the fluttering in her chest. I can’t believe I’m really with Ben. We made it. She smiles and nods her head.

“Thank you,” she says.

He takes hold of her hand, but his eyes never leave hers. “I’m here for you. If we can create a world together, we can deliver our baby.” His mouth flickers up into a smile. Her face lights up. They look into each other’s eyes as if they’d disappear if they looked away. He searches her face like he’s never seen it before and is struck by its beauty. Her face warms, but her breaths get shallower, sharper. The pain burns and twists inside her even harder now. The hand that’s in his grips onto him, and her other hand pulls into the grass again. Ben holds onto her hand as she squeezes it, happy to help in some way, and puts his other arm around her shoulders. She grimaces and shuts her eyes. She yells out into the sky. It echoes before getting swallowed up by the raging sea.

“He’s coming, Ben,” Rey says between sharp breaths, “The baby’s coming.” She starts sobbing and holds his hand even tighter.

Ben swallows and says, “O-Okay…do you want me to hold your hand, or…do I—should I get the baby?”

Rey can’t help but smile at how cute he’s being, but her pain soon consumes her, and she realizes she has no idea what he should do either. “Uh…um, I think you need to get the baby.” She points toward her legs before falling back down onto her elbows.

**

Ben nods and scoots over to her legs, his heart pounding thunderously in his chest and red flushing his cheeks. He situates himself between her legs and puts his hands on her thighs. He now notices she’s wearing a dress. It’s long and silky and falls off her shoulders. It looks like the one she wore in one of their dreams together—the dreams that were actually here. He hadn’t realized their clothes were different until now.

“Ben,” Rey says between sobs. “I can feel him. Please help me.” Panic floods through him. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. Now he’s starting to sweat. His skin is hot to the touch. He takes a deep breath and helps her scoot her dress above her hips. His face flushes even more, and his eyes dart up to her face. Her eyes are squeezed shut and her whole body is tight with pain. He looks back down and starts breathing heavily. I hope I don’t mess this up. I don’t know what to do.

Something touches him. It feels like a set of hands on his shoulders. His eyebrows furrow, and he looks behind him. When he sees her, his mouth gapes open. A light glows softly around her but then disappears like the crystals that disappeared around this world. At first, Ben thinks his eyes are playing tricks on him, but then she speaks. “You can do this, Ben. I know it’s scary, but you’re not alone.” She smiles. “Let me help you.”

Years upon years of regret, love, and sorrow flood through him.

“Mom,” he whispers, a lump forming in his throat and tears filling his eyes. “I’m so sorry for everyt—”

Leia shushes him and leans in to hug him. He wraps his arms around her like he’s five years old again. He holds onto her tight. He lets himself cry into her shoulder. “I love you, Mom. I wish I could change everything.” He continues to cry and she rubs his back, like she did when he was little.

She leans back so she can look into his eyes. “All that matters is that you’re here now, and that you and Rey found each other.” Her hand cups his cheeks. “I always knew you’d come back.”

The love and sorrow he’s felt for and about his mom for well over a decade finally bursts through the box he’d hidden inside of himself. He sobs and holds her again. She puts her arms around him again and holds him against her. “I’ve missed you so much,” he says into her shoulder, “And I’m so scared. I don’t know how to deliver the baby. Mom—"

Leia leans back and puts both her hands on his shoulders and looks him right in the eyes. “That’s why I’m here,” she says, her lips curling into a smile.

Rey cries out for help and Ben turns around, Leia now at his side. He tries to ready his hands to catch the baby, and Leia just laughs and shakes her head. “I think you should go up by Rey’s side and help her through this. I’ll do this part.” Ben follows his mother’s orders and crawls over to Rey’s side. He kisses her head and strokes her hair. He moves the hairs that have stuck against her skin and tucks them behind her ear.

With her eyes still closed, Rey asks, “Ben, why are you up here? You need to be down there for the baby to come.”

He scoots closer to her and helps her place her head on his lap. He adjusts her so that he can hold onto her body and hold her hands if needed. He leans down and whispers in her ear, “My mom is here.”

“What?” Rey immediately opens her eyes and sits up. The tears she had for pain now turn to ones of joy as she sees her mentor smiling up at her, kneeling in preparation for her grandchild to be born. “How are you—AAAAHHHHHH!” Rey falls back down onto Ben’s lap and cries in pain. He takes hold of her hands, and she squeezes them.

“You can do this, my love. Just think of how we will hold our baby after this. In just a few moments, this will all be over, and we can be together as a family. Now, without a care in the world.” He kisses her forehead from above and feels her nod beneath it. She screams again as Leia tells her to push.

“Push a little harder, Rey. You can do this,” Leia says. Rey’s face contorts in even more pain as she pushes. Leia dips down and says. “The baby’s almost here! Push!”

Then, ringing out between the leaves of the trees and the warmth of the air, come the beautiful cries of their baby, sounding from Leia’s arms. Rey’s breaths slow as she opens her eyes. They watch as Ben’s mom carefully holds the baby up for them to see. The little boy curled up before them is small, chubby, and so full of life. His pudgy fists flail in the air as he cries. He’s slightly pink all over—everywhere except the little tuft of hair on his head that matches his father’s.

When Ben sees his son, it’s as if a new chamber of his heart has opened. He’s never felt this kind of love before. It’s a different kind of love. It’s new and it’s beautiful and it fills him with warmth that feels like a pool dripped from the stars. He loves Rey with all his heart, but now he’s made room for more. Tears fall down his face and his body shakes. He looks down and sees that she’s crying too, and she’s holding her arms out to receive her baby.

Leia comes over. She’s wiped the baby off with a cloth she had wrapped around her waist. She swaddles him in a blanket made from a piece she’d ripped off the cloth. It’s soft and warm, and it makes him feel safe. He’s still crying when Leia hands him to Rey. Rey wraps her arms around her son and holds him against her. Ben immediately puts his arms around both of them.  They cry and laugh and marvel at the beautiful boy they created together. Rey looks up at Ben and just smiles. She’s looking at him with eyes that say more than words can express, and he knows exactly what they’re saying. He smiles back at her and marvels at her beauty and strength. She’s just gone through Hell and back. She fought and climbed that chain while pregnant and about to give birth, and then she pushed their baby out of her body and brought him into this life with them. He holds her face in one of his hands and kisses her.

“I love you,” he whispers, his eyes set on hers. “So much. You’re strong, and you’re brave, and you’re the most beautiful person who has ever lived, or who ever will.”

Her eyes never leave his, and a smile stretches across her face—a smile that shows both her teeth and her dimples. “I love you, too, Ben. Thank you for everything. And thank you for being by my side.” She reaches up to kiss him again, and then they both look at their healthy baby boy.

They watch every little move and sound he makes and refuse to take their eyes off of him until they hear Leia’s voice. “I have to go,” she says. Their eyes shoot up.

“Mom, you just got here. How am—”

Leia sits down next to him and puts her arms around him. “I’ll come whenever you need me. I’m always here for you. Just call for me.”

“Then, can’t you stay?” he asks.

She leans back and looks at him with a smile. “I can, but I don’t think I should right now. This moment is for the two of you.” She points to them. Ben shakes his head.

“No, Mom, please stay. I just got you back, I can’t lose you again.” His dark eyes are glassy as he watches his mother. She gives him a small smile and puts her hand back up to his cheek.

“Oh, sweetheart, you will never lose me. And I’ll come back. Wherever you are, I can find you. Just call out to me through the Force.”

Ben frowns. “But I didn’t call you this time.”

Leia raises an eyebrow. “You most certainly did.” She laughs, which makes Ben smile. Rey leans against his chest and looks up at Leia.

“Leia…can I ask what happened to you? I felt you die…but I was told your body didn’t disappear until we were on Exogal…”

Leia looks to Ben, who has a curious look on his face. “Do you know?”

His brows furrow. “I…I felt you with me.”

She nods. “I stayed with you. I held onto you until I knew you’d be okay.” The other two continue watching her, waiting. She continues, “I wanted to make sure you’d get to Rey. I knew you’d be okay if you were together. I reached out to you, and you felt me. My body died but my spirit held onto you.” She pats his hand. “Then when you died, I held onto you again. However, I soon realized that wasn’t my job.” Rey and Ben both watch her, visibly confused. She chuckles. “Okay, let me explain. When I died, I held onto you to give you strength and so you could feel my love. Then, when you died—or at least when your body and spirit left and were about to die—I saw your future. I saw how things were going to be and that you and Rey were (and are) a Dyad in the Force. If one of you dies, the other one does too. But…your bond can defy the limitations of the galaxy. Part of me was scared you’d both die, but most of me knew you’d be okay and that you’d find a way. I quickly learned a lot more than I did while alive. It’s an interesting thing, being one with the Force.”

Ben opens his mouth. “So, you saw all that? Did you know it was a prophecy that Rey and I were to find each other and bring balance to the Force?”

“I didn’t know of the prophecy until after I let go of you and became one with the Force. When I passed, before letting my spirit leave completely, all I knew was that I needed to keep my spirit with you until you found Rey. You needed the love and support. There were a lot of Jedi helping Rey when she fought Palpatine after you fell. But I was able to lend you my strength, which is how you managed to climb up to Rey right before you gave your life for her. I gave you the love only a mother could give. But, I didn’t know about the prophecy until I fully passed. Even then, I didn’t know what fate would actually occur. I had hope, though. I knew you’d find a way.”

The air around them is quiet, but the ocean tumbles nearby. The quiet crash against the sand echoes in the breeze.

Rey is the first to speak. “So, how did Ben make it to the World Between Worlds? Did you guide him there, on Exogal?”

Leia shakes her head. “All I did was touch his heart and lend him strength. I stood by him until the end. What kept him alive and in the World Between Worlds was your baby.”

All three of them look to the little boy swaddled in Rey’s arms. “Our baby kept us connected,” Rey says, smiling and watching as her baby curls his hand around her finger. “He saved us from death.”

Leia nods. “It seems you have a pretty strong family. A bond that can never be broken.” Leia smiles at Ben. “Which is why I can go now, until you need me again.”

Ben shakes his head again, “Mom, we want to be able to see you without needing you.”

She nods. “Well, wanting to see me can sometimes be needing me too.”

Ben smiles. “Thank you, Mom. For everything.”

Tears fall down Rey’s face. “Thank you, Leia. We love you so much.” She reaches out an arm, and Leia bends down to hug her. Ben puts his arms around her too.

“I love you all too,” she says, bending down to kiss her grandson and rub his little head. They all hold onto each other a little bit longer, until Leia fades away.

The air is quieter now, but instead of feeling sorrow, Rey and Ben smile at each other. They know that Leia will never leave them. She, Han, Luke, and anyone else who has gone on before them, whether in the Force or not, can be with them. No one’s ever really gone.

 

Chapter Text

Rey kisses her baby on the head and smiles as he coos and squeaks the way only newborns do. She and Ben both “aww” in unison and watch as their baby opens his eyes to his new life. Ben holds his son’s hand while Rey lightly bounces him in her arms.

“What do you think we should name him?” she asks. He thinks for a moment and then peers over at her. “You already have a name picked out, don’t you?”

She laughs. “Well, maybe. It depends on what you think. And I want you to think of one you like too.” She brushes through her baby’s hair, gently combing up a curl through her fingers.

“Well…I was thinking we could name him after my father,” he says, looking away, guilt and sorrow casting a shadow on his face.

Rey gives him a sad smile and puts her hand on his cheek. He looks at her and she says, “I was thinking the same thing.” He nods and looks down at his hands, wringing them and fidgeting. “Your father would be proud of you, you know. I know you can’t take back what you did, but I know he’s proud of you, wherever he may be. And I’m sure he’s with us too, and that we’ll see him again.” A tear trails down his face as he swallows down a sob.

“Do you really think so?” he asks, still looking down.

Rey kisses him on the cheek and turns his face toward hers. “I know so.” He smiles and leans down to kiss her, which she happily receives. “I was also thinking that his middle name could be after you. A little Ben. He even looks like one.” Her tired eyes shine at him.

He smiles. “I would be honored,” he says. His dark eyes meet hers, and it makes her melt inside. When she looks at him, warmth covers her like a sweater, and she feels like nothing could ever make her cold again.

“So, I suppose this means Little Fish is going to be Han Benjamin Solo,” she says with a laugh, blinking away tears. “And I think I’ll call him Little Ben. He used to feel like a little fish, but now all I can see when I look at him is you.”

Ben’s the one blinking back tears now, and it reminds her of when they first kissed. His eyes are still wet with tears, but his smile makes his whole body bright. “I love it,” he says, his voice catching in his throat. “It suits him already.” His smile turns to little Ben, and he puts his hand on the baby’s head. “And it reminds me of our journey together. All three of us. How far we’ve all come.”

Rey rests her head on his shoulder, her dimpled smile tucked tenderly on her face. “I agree. We have a special little family with a precious baby boy.” They stare in wonder at this little human they created together. A child they made with their love, in the most curious, miraculous way. Ben saved more than Rey that day on Exogal. He saved all of them—Rey, little Ben, and any future children they will have together. He began the creation of their family and created a path for the life he and Rey always dreamed of. Now they can enjoy it together. This incredible road they’re stepping foot on. This new, very beautiful adventure.

“Can I hold him?” he asks.

“Oh! Yes, sorry,” she says, laughing. “Here you go.” She leans over the baby as she passes him to Ben. “Here’s Daddy. I’m sure you’ll grow up to be just as strong, handsome, and passionate as he is.”

Ben smiles and looks at her tenderly before taking his son in his arms. Tears threaten his eyes once more as he looks down at this tiny person that looks so much like him, and like the woman he loves enough to die a million times for. He’s so small in Ben’s hands, and his eyes are so light in contrast to his curly black hair. His arms are pudgy, and he can barely keep his eyes open long enough to see his father. But Ben knows. He knows that his son feels their bond and knows who he is. He leans down and kisses him, and Rey smiles contently at the sight of them. She’s never loved a pair as much as she loves them. And it hits her. This is the family that’s been ahead of her this whole time. Just like Maz told her years ago—the belonging she was seeking was not behind her. It was ahead. Now here it is—in these two. This sweet man who sacrificed so much for her, time and time again, even before he shed his darkness.

Snoke had taken advantage of him as a young man. He abused him and led him to believe no one loved or cared about him and that he had no choice but to turn to the dark. Afraid and feeling betrayed by his uncle, Ben followed. Always in fear of this master, he fell deeper into the darkness. But then he met Rey, and she helped him heal all the pain and loneliness that plagued him for so long. Then he saved her from his master, despite the fear that he may lose his life if he failed.

Although his journey out of the darkness was far from perfect, he found his way out with Rey as his beacon. When he let the darkness go, it was as if Kylo Ren was exorcised from his body, and he came running to her. Together, they stood. Together they fell. Then he let himself die to save her. Now, after waiting so long to find each other, they’re finally here, together.

She continues to watch them, her eyes slowly closing. She could bask in the light of this for as long as she lives.

But she’s soooo exhausted.

“Ben, I think I’m going to lie down. I’m so tired.”  

**

As he watches Rey fall asleep in the shade of a nearby tree, Ben’s heart is full. That smile she gives him when their eyes meet always squeezes his heart and stretches his capacity for further happiness, in ways he never knew it could. He can’t believe how happy he is. He can’t believe Rey is his, and his forever. He never knew his heart could feel like this. For as long as he can remember, he was an outcast. His parents, although they loved him, always seemed a little afraid of him. Then when he thought Luke believed in him, he betrayed him. His heart was broken, and something in him snapped. After that, something possessed him like an overwhelming disease. The hole Snoke promised to fill just got bigger. After a while, he was convinced he’d always be alone and that he wasn’t worthy of anyone loving him. He was a monster. That’s what he always believed anyway.

Then he met Rey, and she slowly coaxed him out of the darkness and took away his pain. She assured him he wasn’t alone, and in her eyes he saw that truth. In her touch, he found the belonging he craved. Together, they’d never be alone.

He will never be able to undo all the things he did when that darkness consumed him, but with Rey by his side he knows he’s safe and that the darkness can never touch him again. When he saw his father, just after Rey admitted she wanted to take his hand, as Ben, he felt the darkness leave him. It was like Kylo Ren was something evil controlling his heart. When he broke through that darkness, he was able to throw that part of him away. He was able to be the man he always wanted to be but always thought he couldn’t reach.

Now, Rey is here with him, and he is loved, fully and flawlessly. Together, they can heal.

He holds his baby in his arms and looks at every individual feature on his little face. He’s so fragile, and when he opens his eyes, he looks up at Ben with such pure innocence. Light exudes from him in a way Ben’s never seen before. His whole life is ahead on an open road Ben can help pave. He chokes down a sob and kisses his son on the forehead. “I promise I won’t fail you,” he whispers. “You’ll never be alone.” The baby looks up at him and studies his mouth as it moves. After a few seconds, he gurgles and smiles. Ben lets out a small, choked laugh. A tear trails down his face. “I’ll always protect you,” he whispers and holds his baby carefully to his chest.

He looks over at Rey and sees her steady breathing, the wind softly ruffling the delicate dress clinging to her body. He smiles to himself as an idea forms in his mind.

**

Rey is roused into consciousness by the warm air grazing her skin. Her eyes flutter open, and for the first time in her life, she doesn’t wake to an instant pang of fear—fear of surviving another day, or of losing a lifetime with Ben. Feelings that have clogged her chest since childhood. It’s as if finding Ben decongested her of that anxiety. She smiles and realizes she can finally let herself be still. Let herself be happy.

She sits up and hears the rustling of the chiffon and silk dress that hangs off her body. I’ve never worn anything so beautiful in my life. She runs her hands along the fabric and thinks about how little Rey on Jakku, working as a child for Unkar Plutt, would be wide-eyed with glee at the sight of this dress. It would have cost more than she could have earned in half a lifetime back on Jakku. She couldn’t afford something so beautiful to ever be on her radar. She fondly muses that this is just one more thing she’s grateful for today.

She basks in the sun kissing her exposed shoulders. Smiling, she looks up to see Ben, but he isn’t there. What is there, though, is a small house. It’s made of dusky wood and smooth stone. It’s compact and cozy and looks professionally made. It appears big enough for a room or two, but that’s about it. It’s very charming, and Rey loves it, but it definitely wasn’t there when she fell asleep.

She frowns and gets to her feet. “Ben?” She calls out before wincing in pain. She has to remind herself that she just gave birth and won’t be able to move around as she’d like for now. She puts her hands on her thighs and lets herself breathe. Then she stands up straight and is about to call for Ben again when she hears something coming from the little house. She narrows her eyes and then spots Ben appearing from the doorway. He smiles when he catches her gaze.

“How was your nap?” he asks, racing over to her.

“It was good,” she says, attempting a small smile.

“What’s wrong?” he asks softly, placing his hands tenderly on her arms. He looks down at her with concerned eyes. She offers him a reassuring smile, but she knows her face is still pinched.

“I’m okay, just in pain from giving birth.” She blushes, but he shakes his head and takes her hands in his.

“Don’t be embarrassed. You just fought off a powerful enemy, crawled up a chain between worlds after breaking your water, and gave birth to our healthy baby boy. It’s understandable that you’re in pain.” He kisses her on both cheeks and places one of his hands on her lower back. “Here, let me try something. Let’s sit.”

A sudden twinge of fear pierces Rey’s chest. “Where’s the baby?” she asks, her face growing pale.

“He’s okay. I made him a bed and placed him in it after he fell asleep.” He helps Rey to the ground as she takes in this information.

“But…how…wait. How did you make a bed, and where did this house come from?” she asks, gesturing to the cottage just a few paces in front of them. He laughs.

“Yeah, it seems crazy, doesn’t it? It actually kind of is. I’ve been waiting for you to wake up so I can talk to you about it.” Rey instantly smiles at how excited Ben is to talk, his expressions and gestures big and ecstatic. Although she’s genuinely eager to hear what he has to say, he could be talking about absolutely anything right now and she would adore it. “So…it turns out we can create things here. Like, anything. I guess it shouldn’t have been so shocking to me, since we made this world together, but it was still really surprising. So, when little Ben was fast asleep, I was going to get a surprise ready for you—something I could have made on my own anyway—which I did end up doing—but then I realized I had nowhere to rest him where I felt he’d be safe. Then…I got this feeling, and I thought to try to make a cradle for him. So, I tried it. I looked out into the field right here, and I focused. I thought of exactly what I wanted to make. I tried and tried, and at first nothing happened. I was going to give up, but I had that same feeling nagging at me, so I kept trying. Lo and behold, I was able to make a cradle.”

Rey gives him a curious look. “Okay…so you were able to create a cradle…and a house?” Her mouth curves into a smile.

“Yes,” he laughs, “but it was really, really difficult. I have a feeling I’m not meant to create things in this world by myself. But, together,” he takes her hand and kisses it, “I’m sure we can make this place even more beautiful and our very own.” She smiles and lets him help her sit down on the grass.

She lies down and lets out a loud breath she didn’t realize she was holding in. “Yeah,” she says, stretching. Halfway through her stretch she makes another pained face. Ben lies down next to her and eyes her with concern.

“Here. May I?” he asks, hovering his hand over her belly.

“Um…I don’t know, Ben. The last time you healed me…well, you know what happened. I don’t want to risk anything happening like that again.” She says this, and she means it, but she would also love to stop hurting and she’s pretty positive nothing can harm them here.

“I think we’ll be safe here, and regardless, I think we can make an exception just this once. I’ve never felt better, so I don’t think it will harm me at all. And then no more Force healing, unless absolutely necessary.” He winks at her, and a familiar fluttering fills her body.

“Okay, give it a go then,” she says with a wide smile. He gives her one last look with the stare that makes her tremble from the inside out and then puts his hand against her stomach. He closes his eyes, and as he breathes, Rey can feel the pain slowly melt away. All the places she’d been hurt while fighting Zeth, the soreness in her muscles, and all the agony from childbirth vanishes, and she feels better than she ever has before.

She opens her eyes to see Ben smiling down at her, still alive and still completely fine. She puts a hand on her chest. “Oh good. You’re all right.”

He laughs and crawls above over her body to give her a kiss. His body hovers over her and her heart races wildly. She sits up partway to meet him. His lips are soft against hers, and one of his hands touches her bare shoulder, sending shivers through her body. She keeps kissing him, leaning in and letting herself get swept away in him.

He kisses one last time again, then leans back. “Come with me,” he whispers.

She opens her eyes and gives him her hands. He swoops her off the ground and into his arms like she weighs nothing at all. She giggles and puts her arms around his neck. “Where are you taking me?”

“Somewhere I hope makes you very happy,” he says, and she watches how his full lips flicker up ever so slightly.

“I’m with you, so I’m already happy,” she says. He looks at her and touches the tip of his nose to hers.

“Well then I hope this makes you even happier.” After he walks a little longer, he places her feet on the ground and says, “Okay, now cover your eyes.”

“Okay,” she says, giggling again. He leads her along by the small of her back. His hand is so large it almost covers her entire lower back.

“I-uh-I wasn’t exactly sure what you’d want, but I thought you may like the surprise, so I did my best with my limited knowledge on this subject. I hope you like it.” Ben’s arm is shaking slightly, and Rey can that he’s nervous.

“I’m 100% sure I’ll love it, Ben. Now stop being so cryptic!” she says with a laugh. “I’m too excited!”

“Okay,” he says, amused, “Well, you don’t have to wait anymore. We’re here.” He puts his hands on her shoulders from behind, and she uncovers her eyes with a gasp.

“Ben…” she breathes. Her eyes glisten at the sight before her. Gorgeous red roses and pink blossoms are bloomed in a path at her feet, leading to a breathtaking arch made with swirls of white, pink, and red.

“I thought we may have a proper wedding,” he says, red the color of the roses at their feet dust his cheeks.

“Ben…”

He looks at her, worry paling his face. “Oh! Unless you don’t want to—”

“Of course I want to, silly!” she laughs and lightly hits him on the arm.

She laughs, his facing turning even more crimson. He looks down at her and then gets down on one knee. “Will you do me the honor of being my bride, Rey?”

Her heart dances in her chest, and inside her, balloons and firecrackers dart around in a frenzy, popping and snapping as she tries to clear her head enough to speak. “Of course.” She smiles down at him, her eyes nearly closing because she’s smiling so hard.

His shoulders relax, and a smile erupts on his face. He throws his arms around her and says, “Then let’s do this.” Rey hugs him back and then watches him leap over to the end of the path. “Oh! I almost forgot!” he says, reaching behind one of the legs of the arch. When he reappears, Rey sees a bouquet of the same colors as the flowers he’s arranged on the arch. Her heart melts, and she wonders if her heart will suffer any long-term damage from going from pounding to melting every few seconds. She trembles giddily as Ben hands her the bouquet. As he races back over to the arch, she admires the flowers in her hands.

She can tell he put this together with great care. Each flower is arranged in a precise location and careful ratio with the other flowers, and they’re arranged to be swirling in one clockwise swoop. He’s tied the stems with white ribbons, and she doesn’t think she’s ever been so happy to receive something in her entire life.  

She looks up at him and nods slightly, motioning that she’s ready to go. He nods back, smiling ear to ear, so she steps onto the path of flowers, never taking her eyes off of him. If moments could make music, this would create a symphony. She can hear it in every footstep. In every whistle of the breeze in the leaves. In every crash of waves in the distant sea. In every breath flowing from their lungs.

Most of all, she can hear it through the way he looks at her. It may not be a sound or even a motion, but the way he looks at her is filled with such pure love and serenity that Rey’s convinced they could bottle it up and create an elixir of life.

Finally, she’s standing right before him, and he’s looking down at her with those same eyes, and it’s making her weak. If he hadn’t healed her already, he’d have to heal her now. She doesn’t realize she’s been smiling until she feels the tightness of her cheeks growing sore as she looks up at him. He holds out his hands, and she places the bouquet down gently at her feet before putting her hands inside his.

She loves the way his fingers curl beneath hers, and the sea air comes rushing in as he starts to speak. “Rey, I fell in love with you instantly. I had never seen someone so fiercely beautiful, strong, and brave. Right away, I sensed a strong connection between us, but I never could have guessed what was in store for us.” His face gets blurry in Rey’s eyes as she sniffs and blinks back tears. He continues, his voice trembling as tears threaten his eyes. “You saved me, Rey.” It comes out as a whisper, but he’s looking right at her and she can feel how deeply he means it, and she knows he’s not just talking about saving him between worlds.

“You saved me from myself. You saved me from the darkness—from the pain that was eating me alive. I felt so alone my whole life, and then you came along and brought in more life than an entire army. In your eyes, and in your touch, I saw that I’d never have to be alone again. I saw that it was possible for someone to love me—for someone to truly care about me and believe in me. I saw someone who I wanted to love and protect, even though I knew full well you didn’t need protecting.” They laugh shakily and hold each other’s hands even tighter.

“Rey,” he whispers, “I love you, and I vow to always be by your side and to give you the best of me. I will strive to live every day in a way that will make you proud. And,” he says with a smile, “because of our love and bond, I learned I could cry more than I ever knew possible.”

She laughs. While wiping away tears, she says, “Sorry about that. I hope you don’t regret it.”

He shakes his head. “I could never regret anything I’ve gotten from loving you.”. This makes even more emotion well within her, and she tries her best to stop it from flowing, but she can’t, and really, she doesn’t even want to. Because she knows she can feel anything, in any way, in front of Ben and he won’t mind. He loves all of her. He accepts all of her. And she feels the same about him. And tears are falling from his eyes too.

“And finally, I want you to know that you’ve opened a new part of me. You’ve shown me feelings I never knew I had inside. I never knew I could feel so loved. So very much not alone.” He leans down, kisses her nose, and says, “I love you for that, and I love you for having our Little Fish, and I love you for absolutely everything else. I love you for simply existing. And I’m honored you even looked my way. You captured me with your very first glance.” Rey crumples into him and lets herself cry. Waves upon waves of overwhelming emotions pulse within her chest and pour out of her like a waterfall. Can you die from happiness? From being so utterly loved, and as Ben put it, so very much not alone.

He puts his arms around her and holds her as she cries into his chest. She can feel each of his breaths as she buries her face in his shirt. He holds her like he’s the shelter from the storm she’s been running away from her entire life. And the more she thinks about it, the truer it becomes.

Finally, she leans back and looks up at him. They both have tear-soaked cheeks and bright smiles, and she can tell he’s feeling the same love she is, like they swallowed the key for happiness and broke it in two. “Ben, I always knew you were there—the real you, buried inside your heart. When you were shrouded in darkness, I knew you were inside. When you made the choice to shed that mask and come find me—to come save me after all the time that passed—I was so happy,” she breaks off into sobs, and he holds her again. “I was so afraid I would never be with you. I was so happy that you left the darkness to come to me in the light, and I can’t even begin to describe the overpowering happiness I felt when you came to me on Exogal that first time. I knew that whatever else happened after that, you’d always be with me and I’d never be alone. There we were—finding each other just as we were always destined to.”

“I’m so sorry, Rey. For making you wait so long. I—”

She cuts him off, looking up into his eyes, cupping his face in her hands. “Ben, it’s okay. We found each other at last. That’s all that matters.”

“I’m so ashamed—” he breaks off, his throat tightening.

“Ben, you are so strong. You were abused and tormented, but you still found the way out.”

He leans down and kisses her, his arms wrapped tightly around her. When he pulls away, he whispers, “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

 She smiles up at him and kisses him on the lips. “I helped some, but ultimately it was up to you. And just so you know, Ben Solo has always been in my heart, just as much as in your own. Kylo Ren was just getting in the way.”

He cries quietly onto her shoulder and holds her close against him. Every painful thought and feeling he’s ever held inside him in a tight knot unravels and leaves his body with each word Rey speaks. As she wraps her arms around him, she continues her vows and whispers in his ear. “I promise to always love you and our little Ben. I will give you all of me. And you will never be alone. Do you hear that, Ben Solo?” she pulls away and meets his eyes, smiling. “You will never be alone again.”

“Neither will you,” he says, and they hold each other just as tightly as they did when he pulled her up into this new life—this new world—of their own making.

They stay like this for a while, until finally, both of their breathing evens out and the warm air dries the last of the tears stained on their cheeks. Ben tips Rey’s chin up so their eyes lock.

“Will you, Rey of Jakku, take me, Ben Solo, as your husband?” he says. Rey smiles, dimples etched onto her cheeks.

“I do,” she says, and as she does, she sees the love and emotion surge in Ben’s eyes. “And do you, Ben Solo, take me, Rey of Jakku, as your wife?”

“I do,” he says, though it comes out as a broken whisper.

She smiles and stands up on her tiptoes. “Then you may now kiss me and make me Mrs. Ben Solo, and I will be yours. Forever”

He laughs and swoops her up into him, lifting her feet off the ground so he is her foundation, anchoring her to their new life. He kisses her even more deeply, and his hands press her body so close into his she can feel every muscle of his arms against her body. Her hands find their way up his back, and she holds onto him like letting go would cause her to fall into space.

Then slowly, they lean back and look into each other’s eyes. Neither one of them says a word, but they know exactly how the other person is feeling. Then, Ben puts her back onto the ground and offers her his arm. “Would you like to take a walk with me, Mrs. Solo? I heard the ocean is lovely this time of the year.”

Rey laughs giddily and nods, taking his arm. “Why, I would love to Mr. Solo. But we must be quick, as our little one will be awake soon.”

**

Rey and Ben spend the rest of the afternoon holding their baby, taking care of him, and laughing and smiling with each other. As the sun turns into a hazy orange against the horizon and the moons above start to rise, Rey places her sleeping baby in the beautiful stone cradle Ben made for him and then meets her new husband outside their new home. She sees him lying in the grass, his hands behind his head, watching the moons and looking into the stars. She walks over and lies by his side. He reaches one of his arms out and pulls her in closer. Resting her head against his chest, she looks out into the sea of stars above.

She’s never seen anything like it. At least seven different hues of blues and purples wash through a field of pitch blackness. Droplets of white trickle the darkness, forming clusters of moons and stars as far as the eye can see. Not one other planet is in sight.

She sits up to get a slightly closer look. The air at night here is almost soft to the touch, and the sounds are even more breathtaking. Rey hears chirps of bugs she’s never heard before, and the ocean sounds even louder than it had while the sun was in the middle of the sky. She exhales loudly and says, “What a day!” She flops onto her back, and Ben laughs.

“Are we even sure this was only one day?” he says with a smile, turning to lie on his side to face her.

“Good point,” she says. She looks up at him, and her heart stops beating for a moment. His hair is falling in black waves towards the hand he has propping his head up with. It looks as dark as the sky above, but the stars shine behind him like a glowing landscape of flowers. Her eyes trace up his jawline, and she memorizes every inch of his face before working down to the rest of him.

He’s wearing a light brown tunic, which she’s surprised she hadn’t noticed earlier that day, and his pants are dark and blend into the shadows around them. She turns red when she spots Ben studying her as well. His eyes linger on her mouth before looking back up into her eyes. She feels magnetized to his gaze, and she can’t stop her heart from racing as he leans in closer.

 “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he says, “How did I get so lucky?” She manages to blush even more but doesn’t look away. She’s hypnotized by him in every way, and she never wants to break the spell he’s cast upon her. He leans down to kiss her shoulder. The moment she feels his lips on her skin, her body goes warm. A shock breaks through her bloodstream and plunges into her chest. He slowly kisses up her shoulder and into her neck. The longer he lets his lips linger on her skin, his breaths sending warm chills up her back, the more quickly her heart races.

Finally, he lifts his lips to meet hers, but before he kisses her, he looks into her eyes. The way he looks at her is intoxicating. She’s never seen such yearning there before. Such desperation. As if she is the answer to life’s toughest questions.

The wind blows through her hair, and tiny flower petals float along with it. Her heart pumps wildly as invisible feathers dance across her skin.

“Ben,” she whispers, her breaths growing deeper. She runs her fingers through his hair and traces them down his neck, and then his back. He leans over her, and she finds herself steadily falling back onto the grass. He’s now canopied above her, with an arm and leg on either side of her. She watches him breathlessly as he makes his way to her lips.

Gently, he kisses her. The moment she tastes him, the world around them spins away. She kisses him more and more, like she’s been starving for him her entire life. He runs his tongue inside her mouth, and she loves the way it tastes. She holds onto his biceps as he continues to kiss her hungrily. She loves the way it feels to have him run his hands up her arms so their fingers lace together when they reach the end. He pulls her closer as they kiss, and she loves how close they are. She revels in the bliss of feeling his heart beating against hers. She wants to bury her soul into his and mend their two halves back together.

He slips his hands across her skin and she forgets to breathe. Her chest flutters up and down as her breaths return, tripping over one another as they escape her lips. Every sense in her body heightens, and everything she feels amplifies. Then she lets herself go. Every inhibition she’s ever had melts away. They are bound together, married before the universe.

As they lie together on the grass of their new world, they finally become one. They are the king and queen of this new galaxy. Maybe what Ben saw those years ago was a glimpse at what they could become together, because no matter where they went or what path they took, they’d find each other and become one. They’d always have to stand together, or they’d spend their whole lives chasing each other, feeling incomplete until they finally grabbed hold of each other and never let go.

As Ben holds her, she feels their soul weaving itself back together, reuniting, with the two of them coming together as one body.

Beams of light bloom around them. Rey feels each one, catching them in the spaces where Ben’s body and hers meet. Where their skin is locked in place, refusing to let go. She wraps her arms around him as they feel the moonlight soaking into their skin. Everything around them stops turning. Time stands still, and they leave everything behind. This moment is theirs and theirs alone.

It’s just them. No one else can enter their little bubble where time ceases to exist, and she is enchanted by his every movement. She thanks every star in the sky that he is hers—that her soul was split before the beginning of everything, and that half of it fell into his body and half of it fell into hers.

Rey opens her eyes and sees the moons and stars blanketing them, holding them together in this secret world. Everything starts turning around them again, and Rey tumbles Ben to the ground and sits on top of him. She kisses up his neck and feels his chest beneath her fingertips. She looks down at him with life soaked into her eyes. He’s invigorated, excited. The love he feels for her in this moment bursts through him like wildfire. She falls on him and they kiss again, so passionately it feels like the whole universe would stop moving all over again.

I’m forever yours.

“Rey,” Ben whispers, barely taking his lips away from hers, “I love you.”

She kisses him again, tasting him one more time, letting it flow through her like they’ve never kissed before. When she stops, she whispers, “I love you too. I am forever yours.” She watches as a smile takes over his face, and hers gives it a good rival.

“I’m forever yours, Rey Solo,” he says.

“I like the sound of that,” she says.

“I do too,” he says. Rey lets herself roll to his side, and they laugh, so drunk with life and utterly enraptured by each other. Everything they ever wanted is now theirs. How could they not be? On their sides, they lock their fingers together and look into each other’s eyes. He smiles at her and gives her the look he’s been giving her since they reunited—like nothing in the world matters but her. He unlocks his hand from hers and gathers her into his arms. He kisses her on the head and doesn’t let her go, and she wouldn’t want it any other way.

They don’t know what lies ahead, but as they hold onto each other so desperately, so yearningly and happily, they don’t care one bit. They know that together, they can do anything.

Chapter 29

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

One year later

 

Rey twirls her son in the air, laughing and basking in the sunlight. The warmth soaks through her skin, and it makes her lighter somehow. Maybe that’s the laughter. She does it a lot these days.

She stops spinning and pulls him close. He giggles and plays with her hair as she holds him. She stands there and holds her baby—a now very wiggly, very curious one-year-old—and wonders how it’s possible to love someone so little so very much?

“I think I got it this time,” Ben’s voice floats through the air and Rey turns to see her husband wiping his hands on a cloth before tossing it over a fence post. She smiles and her eyes flicker down to the little garden they made together, and the fence they built around it to ensure their little one wouldn’t stomp all over their growing fruits and vegetables.

“You got it last time,” she says with a teasing lift of her brow. She loves Ben’s cooking, but he’s immensely critical of himself. She’s determined to help him understand that he doesn’t need to be perfect, whether it’s his cooking or anything else. She will never be cruel or unfair to him, and no matter how imperfect either of them is, they love each other perfectly. And that’s enough to fill in the cracks of their imperfections.

She watches him set up a picnic on the ground near their house. He’s lying out a red blanket and getting ready to place two plates and one bowl on top of it. Yes, they have a table, but they enjoy picnicking outside more. So, they tend to picnic more often than not. Little Fish wiggles, and Rey knows her cue to set him down. She smiles as Ben’s eyes light up when their son runs over to him. They both decided they wanted to call him Little Fish just a little while longer. It suits him.

Over the last year, Rey has watched Ben’s face grow brighter and his body more relaxed. He smiles with the same carefree spark as their son, he laughs with his whole body whenever she does something silly, and he invites her to impromptu dances at least once a day. He’s more excited about life and about learning skills and trying harder, each and every day. She’s never seen someone so content with their life before, and she often forgets he was ever any other way.

He’s grown a lot, and she’s so proud of him. 

“Yes, well, I really got it this time. I think,” he says as he lays out the utensils. “I’m excited for you to try it.”

She still smiling at him adoringly when he looks up and catches her gaze. He chuckles softly. “What?” he says, smiling. She shakes her head, trying to suppress her giddy smile but her dimples give her away.

“I just love you,” she says. He smiles and reaches his hands up, beckoning her closer. Her smile widens again, and she plops herself down on his lap. His arms wrap around her like a gate that could keep her safe from absolutely anything. She turns to kiss him on the cheek but he catches her on the mouth first. “You’re sneaky,” she says, touching her nose to his.

“Thank you,” he says with a playful smirk and then gives her another quick kiss. “And I love you too.”

She laughs and slides off his lap. “Oh, Ben. You’re my favorite person. You and your miniature over there,” she says and then calls out to her son, “Baby, come here!”

Once she gets Little Fish settled enough to eat, they are able to dig into the fish Ben caught that morning. “Do we even know what this is?” Rey says as she inspects the charred blue meat. She plops it in her mouth and savors the salty flavor.

“I don’t think we do,” he says, putting a piece in his mouth, “But we’ve been enjoying it and it hasn’t killed us, so I’m assuming we can keep eating it.” Rey laughs and then remembers a time back on Yavin 4—the rebel base—when she and Finn tried to cook something, and it went terribly wrong. Ben catches her wistful smile. “What are you thinking about over there?”

“I was just thinking about a time where Finn and I wanted to try to cook something that was more substantial than our rations. Everyone told us it wasn’t worth scrounging the forest for something and that nothing was edible in there anyway. Well, we found a small lake. An enormous fish was inside, and naturally, I thought it would be delicious—” she breaks off into a laugh.

“And I’m assuming it wasn’t,” Ben finishes, smiling at her delight.

Her laughter grows louder. “It was AWFUL!” She’s still laughing when she remembers what happened next that day. She and all her friends spent the evening making portions and drinking as much water and juice as they could to get the awful taste out of their mouths. They laughed about the great memory it would make and how they learned their lesson not to go out looking for new food sources while on that planet.

Her smile fades. My friends... The faces of all the friends she made back then stay etched in her mind, especially Finn, Poe, Chewy, and BB-8. An ache kneads through her stomach, and suddenly she can’t eat another bite. It doesn’t take long for Ben to piece her frown to her thoughts. He places a hand on her knee, and she sees it from the corner of her eye. She puts her hand on top of his and looks up at him with her best smile. “It’s okay, though. I’m fine.” She half-means it, and Ben half-believes it.

“Rey,” he says, reaching over and tucking a stray lock behind her ear, “You can tell me anything, and you can ask me anything. What’s really on your mind?”

She looks over at Little Fish. He’s chasing some kind of insect floating through the air, his chubby arms outstretched as he toddles after it. His walking is surprisingly good for his age, and Ben and Rey often mention it to each other with pride. She smiles as he looks at her. “Mama!” he says, teetering over to her. Rey thinks her heart might squeeze its way right out of her chest.

“Hi, buddy!” she says, holding her arms out. He walks close enough where he knows his mom will catch him and just flops toward her. She wraps her arms around him and holds him for as long as he lets her and lets go when he starts to wiggle. He looks over to Ben and smiles gleefully, his cheeks etched with dimples just like his mother’s.

“Da!” he says and waddles over to his dad. Ben picks him up and kisses him on the cheek.

“Love you, little guy,” he says and gives him a squeeze before letting him resume frolicking in the field. Rey watches him leave, his little feet cushioned by grass as soft as blankets of wool. He’s carefree and comfortable beneath a sun that only gives them warm, pleasant days. Not too hot, not too cold. Just right. Still, Rey can’t help but wonder what else it can bring him.

She sighs and opens her mouth to speak when the breeze rushes through her hair, grazing against her skin, and she remembers the day she first came here. In that dream that wasn’t a dream. When she thought Ben might be gone forever, but he was always there, and they made this world to meet in between life and death. She remembers being pregnant and playing games with Ben in the orchard when she fell asleep at Calyn’s. She remembers him brushing his fingers through her hair and feeling the warmth of his body on hers, his scent enveloping her and reminding her of the way his shirt smelled when she’d fall asleep waiting for him. She thinks about coming here, getting married, and being with Ben all this time. This whole year has been amazing. It’s been a complete utopia for all three of them, even when some days were hard. When they had to figure out what to do, and they had to tackle demons within themselves and each other. But they always came out stronger, more in love, and ready to face life even more. Even those times weren’t too difficult, though. They were never mad at each other. The hard days were just about healing and learning, but they always did it together, and they were always okay.

This last year contained more happiness than Rey ever thought she could have in her life—it was more than she ever knew was possible. Yet, Rey knew that no matter how wonderful it was, it wasn’t complete. Or at least, it wouldn’t be forever. She looks at her baby as he circles his way back to her, and then she looks to her husband. “Ben, I love it here. It’s beautiful in so many ways. I’m so grateful to be in this world with you and Little Fish, and I love the life we’ve built together. This time together has allowed us to build such a strong foundation as a family, and I’ve been happier here than I ever knew was possible…but we can’t give him the life he deserves here, no matter how wonderful it is.”

Ben nods, his arms are folded and he’s staring at the grass. She scoots over to him and places her hands in his. “I love it here,” she says again, “but I think we need to go live our life in our former galaxy now. Little Fish needs people other than us in his life. He needs to grow and learn in ways we can’t teach him or give him here. And I miss my friends, and I miss exploring.” Her voice trails off, and she notices the fear in his expression. She places a hand on his cheek and looks up into his eyes. “I know you’re afraid,” she whispers, “but I’m here for you, and my friends back home will accept you. Poe and Finn already have. And if anyone ever does have a problem with you, they’ll have to take it up with me.”

His eyes glisten with tears and she reaches up to kiss his lips. He wraps his arms around her and puts his head on her shoulder. “Thank you…but that’s not all of it…”

She rubs his back and whispers, “I know. I know it will be hard to confront your past, but I’ll always be with you. I’ll always be here to hold your hand and face it all with you.”

He nods and looks at her, their noses almost touching, his arms still wrapped around her. The corners of his mouth turn up slightly. “Thank you, Rey.” He kisses her forehead before placing his against it. “I love you.”

She smiles and wraps her arms around him too. “I love you too.”

They stay in each other’s arms and watch their baby hysterically laughing at birds squawking as they flap by. Why is hearing a baby laugh the purest, most enchanting thing in the world?

Ben leans back and looks into Rey’s eyes. Even though they’ve been together almost every minute of every day for the last year, each time Ben looks at her like this, Rey’s face goes hot and her heart flutters around like the bugs Little Fish loves to catch. He raises his hand to softly caress her cheek, his thumb lingering on her jawline. She sits there like putty in his hands as he searches her face with such loving adoration her heart could explode.

“I will be happy as long as I’m with you,” he says.

She smiles and leans her face into the palm of his hand. “I feel the same way.”

He gives her a soft kiss on the lips and says, “We can go anywhere in the galaxy you’d like. Name it and there we’ll go.” She giggles, heart still bursting, and he whispers as he continues, “But you have to promise me that you and I will take a trip back here as often as we can. I want to spend nights bathed in the light of our moon. I want to hold you close and remember this time and make new memories of the way you smile when we play, and the way you move when you swim. I want to experience this life with you, too.” He curls his fingers around hers and waits for her response, his dark eyes casting a spell upon her once again.

“You’ve got yourself a deal. I would love that exact same thing.”

He smiles. “Hmm. It’s like we’re soul mates or something.”

She laughs out loud and thinks about how she adores when he’s playful. “Yes! Almost like we’re connected somehow.” He laughs and their fingers intertwine.

“Hmm…perhaps we should look into that.”

She lets out a low laugh that comes out as more of a hum. “Perhaps.”

**

 “So, how do you think we get out of here?” Rey asks, balancing Little Fish against her hip. She’s looking around at the spot they first appeared at a year ago—a place just a few steps from their house—and she sees nothing. No indication of their ability to go between worlds.

“I have an idea,” Ben calls out from inside the front doorway of their house. He’s lugging two bags filled to the brim as he makes his way over to her. She sighs and looks back to the empty spot of land and air, completely clueless. The familiar crash of waves fills her ears. She tenses at the sound. She looks over to the water and studies its familiar pattern of rolling onto the pale sand. Tears fill her eyes, but she sniffs them back and reminds herself they’ll be back soon. Their special world will never go away.

Ben reaches her and nods his head toward the space she’s been staring at. “I don’t think we need to do it here, but I think we can make something work. It came to me, and it’s simple, but I think it’s the answer.”

Rey raises a brow. “Are we…going to make it appear or something?”

Ben’s shoulders slowly rise in a shrug. “It’s been working for us so far.”

Rey laughs. “Ben, I don’t know about this.”

“Well, I think it’s a little more complicated than making something appear. I don’t know. Maybe just…think about it. See what comes to you.” He looks at her hopefully, and she sighs, handing their squirming baby to him. She exhales again and closes her eyes.

That familiar rush of waves is even louder now. It floods through her head, and the warmth of the sun above burns brightly into her. She senses the wind along with it all. She feels the soil beneath her feet and thinks of the softness of the sand, and how every time she sunk her toes into it, it felt like she was weightless—like the sand was swallowing her troubles and leaving her completely void of any negative emotion.

Then she thinks of Jakku. Of Tatooine. She sees the hot sand of those planets and remembers all of it—the good memories and the bad. She remembers the hard work she had to accomplish at such a young age—having to learn to fend for herself and use the powers she felt flowing through her to protect herself, and anyone else who was in trouble. She remembers Tatooine—being afraid she’d never see Ben again. She remembers falling asleep against his shirt, yearning for anything with his scent. Anything with his touch. Anything at all that came from him.

She remembers the planets that guided her to him, one desolate and two lush with trees. She remembers all the brave women who helped her in her time of need.

She remembers love. She remembers fear. She remembers safety. She remembers unsurety.

She feels everything, and yet she isn’t overwhelmed.

But she’s filled with something. The Force is strong here, and she knows feeling all these elements and memories can help her. She and Ben can use the Force in ways they could never imagine. Here’s hoping another one manifests itself now.

She opens her eyes and looks to Ben with a nod. She nods back and gives her a slightly serious look. “Okay,” he says, “What do you think we should focus on?”

“Well…I’m not exactly sure…I think if we think of where we want to be, and we do it together…and we use the Force in this way, we can go anywhere.” She looks up at him and sees that he knows this too. “So maybe we should go back to Exogal. I need to get Alor’s ship back to her.” Ben smiles warmly, creases forming around his eyes as he looks at the woman he so hopelessly adores.

He runs his hand along her back, “As you wish, my love. You have a good heart.” This makes her blush.

“Okay,” she giggles, “Let’s think really hard, and let’s maybe imagine going to Alor’s ship.”

“Er…I don’t know what Alor’s ship looks like.”

“Oh yeah,” she laughs, “Okay, maybe the base of the chain then.” He smiles.

“Okay, works for me.”

Rey scoops her son back into her arms, and Ben grabs the bags. They close their eyes and think of the base of the chain. Rey opens herself up to the Force the same way she did moments ago. She feels the life and elements rush through her veins, and she can even feel it work through Ben as well.

Suddenly, a large crash breaks through the air, ringing in their ears. A light pierces their surroundings along with it, and it’s so blinding it hurts to even keep their eyes open, and even with their eyes closed its brightness comes seeping through.

Finally, it all passes, and things go back to normal. Relatively. They both blink repeatedly until no more spots scatter across their field of vision. Then they see it.

A small portal has opened up before them, as if the tear that once let them in has now come unraveled again, ready for them to slip through. Rey smiles over to Ben and says, “You ready?”

He nods. “I’m ready.”

Then they take their next steps forward. Into the other worlds. Into the rest of their lives.

**

Their journey through the portal was smooth sailing. As soon as they walked through, they found themselves at the base of the chain Rey had to climb to get to Ben, and then it was just a quick walk to Alor’s ship. Once they got inside, Rey took the pilot’s seat while Ben held Little Fish.

“Are you sure you remember how to get there?” Ben asks. Rey shoots him a teasing look with one eyebrow raised and one hand on the accelerator.

“Yes, Sir Benjamin Solo, I believe I do.” Her mouth quirks up into a smile.

He laughs. “All right, all right. Show us the way.” He gestures like he’s allowing royalty to pass through, and she takes a tiny bow.

“Thank you, sir, I shall.” She winks.

She turns on the engine and readies the steering, the two of them still smiling ear to ear. “Okay. Geonosis, here we come.”

It’s a smooth ride to the red planet, and once they get there, Rey knows exactly where to go. When she flies over the Falcon, Ben perks up. “Is that our ship?”

“Yup! And that’s what we’re taking with us as we leave.” Worry floods through her as she remembers the droids she left here. “I hope BB-8 and IQ-39 have been okay this whole time.”

“I’m sure everything’s all right,” Ben soothes. Rey can tell he wants to put his hand on her, but he’s holding their baby securely in his arms.

“Yeah...” She trails off when she spots Alor’s shop. “There! That’s her shop. Wow…it seems so long ago now...” She tilts her head to one side as she readies the ship for landing. “There’s another ship here.”

“Maybe she’s working on it, or she bought a new one?” Ben asks as he makes faces at Little Fish, who was starting to get antsy.

She shakes her head. “No…she couldn’t afford that, and no one here leaves an entire ship for repair.” The ship lands without issue, and before they have the chance to get out, Alor is walking toward them. At the sight of the woman below, something hits Rey. Something flows through her—something good and surreal—and she finds herself shaking as she opens the ship. She can’t place the exact feeling. She just knows she’s feeling so much right now—so much good. Such liberation. Such pure happiness. Being back here—back where things were so hard for her not so long ago—has brought with it a rush of feelings, all layered with joy and a strong sense of relief. She’s here on Geonosis, and she’s not crying herself to sleep. She’s not worried whether or not she will ever feel Ben’s lips on hers again. She isn’t afraid for her life or her baby’s. No one is trying to take her family from her. It’s a good day on Geonosis this time. Everything is surreal. Everything feels good. And Rey squeezes Ben’s hand just a little bit tighter, and she looks at him with tears in her eyes. “Ben, we really did it, didn’t we?”

He smiles and leans over to give her a hug, Little Fish in his right arm and now the center of the snuggle. Rey laughs giddily as she wipes away tears. She looks up at Ben and he kisses her. “We did it,” he says, “but mostly you.” She smiles and looks away bashfully, but he continues softly. “You went through so much for us and you never stopped fighting. You are the heart of this family. I love you so much.” Rey fights back tears as she smiles up at him.

“I love you too. Now let’s get off this thing before I start full-on sobbing.”

They are all smiles as they step foot on the ruddy sand. Alor runs over to Rey and throws her arms around her. “I can’t believe you came back!” she says, and then her eyes find Ben. Rey watches as the realization washes over the older woman’s face. She studies Ben for a few moments before looking back at Rey and asking, “So…is this him?’

Rey nods. “It is. We found each other, at long last.” Her eyes flicker to her husband, and he smiles.

Alor makes a face and says, “Well, I can see why you went through all that trouble.” Ben’s face goes nearly as red as the sand and Rey laughs. Then Alor’s eyes rest on Little Fish, and her eyes instantly rise in delight the way many do upon seeing a pudgy baby. “You look just like your parents, and maybe even more handsome than your father.”

Ben’s face stays red, but he speaks nonetheless. “He’s definitely more handsome than me, and I love the dimples he got from his mom.” He looks back at Rey and she can’t help but smile. Alor watches the two of them exchange glances.

“I’m glad you found each other,” Alor says, smiling warmly at Rey, “You went through so much. You look so happy now.”

“I am,” Rey says, “It’s a feeling I’m still getting used to sometimes.”

The old woman grabs Rey’s hand in both of hers and pats it fondly. “Well, dear, I’m happy to hear it. And…I got a little surprise for you. I was going to be a ‘thank you’ gift for bringing my ship back. A ship for a ship.”

Rey’s eyes nearly bulge out of her head. “You fixed the Falcon?”

Alor nods. “I sure did.”

“That’s great!” Rey claps. Can I see it?

“Gran—where are—oh.” A young woman comes out from the shop. Rey has to blink to make sure she’s seeing things correctly. This girl looks just like Alor, but about forty years younger. Exact build, hair (other than the color), clothes—everything. Then it clicks. The ship. The girl.

“Your granddaughter,” Rey whispers and looks between the two of them. “I’m sorry, how rude of me. I’m Rey, and this is Ben, and little Ben—but we call him Little Fish, long story—and you’re…Era? Right?” She reaches her hand out, and the girl shakes it.

“That’s right. And I knew you were Rey the moment you landed my ship.” She points to it and smiles. “That was our project—Gran and me. I love that ship. We always talked about taking it out into the galaxy together.” She looks off into the sky as if imagining herself piercing through the clouds.

“Well, it’s all yours. Thank you so much for letting us borrow it,” Rey says, and then looks to Alor. “Really. Thank you. We never would have found each other if you hadn’t let us borrow it.”

“And on top of that, you fixed the Falcon,” Ben says, in near disbelief. “Wow. Thank you.”

“Tank oo!” Little Fish chirps, and they all either laugh or say “aww.”

Era stays at the shop as Alor leads them to the Falcon. On their way, Rey asks how the droids did.

“Oh, they had a good ol’ time,” Alor says, “They helped me out in the shop quite a bit. At first, I thought IQ-39 would be more of a help—with his arms and all—but BB-8 turned out to be more of the help, to my surprise at the time. Now that he’s been around me so much, I’m ashamed I ever thought anything different.” When they get to the Falcon and hear the familiar sound of the door opening and releasing, the ramp stretches out onto the ground and a familiar whistling makes its way into Rey’s ears.

“BB-8!” She calls out, and her droid friend rolls down the ramp, chirping wildly. She practically laughs in excitement as she skids to the ground to put her arms around her friend. She rubs his head, adjusts his antenna, and gives him a hug. “Oh, BB-8. I’m so sorry I left you here for so long.” She releases him when he starts letting out a string of beeps.

Her dimpled smile appears. “I’m glad you had a good time,” she tells the droid, “And I’m glad you’re happy Ben is here, too. And Little Fish.” She looks to her little family, her heart skipping when Ben smiles down at her.

“I hope you all have safe travels,” Alor says, placing a hand on Rey’s shoulder as the young Jedi gets to her feet. “And I hope you come back and visit someday.” Emotion swells in Rey’s chest as she looks at the woman who helped her in so many ways. She was instrumental in their reunion, and Rey will never forget that.

“Of course we’ll see you,” she says, fighting back tears. She gives the woman a hug. “Thank you. For everything.”

“Any time,” the woman says with a smile, her arm around Rey. “I’m happy for you.” With that, they all finish their goodbyes and head into the Falcon, Alor watching from the blood-red sand Rey will never forget. With one last wave, Rey pushes the button to bring the ramp back up and smiles down at her until the door completely shuts. She stays there processing things for a while before she snaps back to the present and realizes Ben isn’t by her side. She looks around and takes off down one of the corridors. “Ben?”

“Down here!” he calls out from a completely different direction. Rey stops and turns around.

“Can you say something again? I don’t know where you are,” she says, walking in the direction his voice called out from.

“I’m in the cockpit!” he calls out.

Oh. Rey smiles. I know exactly where that is. “K, coming!” She races down the familiar pathways, exhilaration booming through her at lightspeed.

When she gets there, she stops. Everything is still. Little Fish’s quiet babbling on the chair and Rey’s pounding heart are the only sounds reaching her eardrums. She holds onto the side of the doorway and silently watches.

Ben moves his hand across the dash, lingering on the controls as he looks down at the seat he put their son in. He smiles and crouches down. “That’s where I used to sit,” he says, and Rey’s breath snags in her throat. “I like seeing you in it now. I look forward to more Father-son time in this ship.”

Rey walks forward and puts her hand on Ben’s back, rubbing circles between his shoulder blades and down his spine. “Well, I think you should be the captain of this ship,” she says, kissing him when he turns to look at her. “Now, take us to our future. I’ll sit with Little Fish in the co-pilot seat.”

Ben’s eyes search hers, and she can see the emotion behind them. She nods and he lights up in a smile, his face brightening and his eyes dewy with the start of tears.

After another moment or two of looking at each other with eyes both ready to move forward and scared to never look back, Ben takes his seat and readies the Falcon. “To Ajan Kloss,” she says.

“To Ajan Kloss,” he repeats, flicking switches and staring through the windshield. Rey watches him, her arms around her baby and her mind fixed on the moment.

She thinks of what’s waiting for her on Ajan Kloss and smiles even wider. If it was that emotional seeing Alor after all this time, Rey looks forward to what’s to come. When she is reunited with her friends.

**

When they land the ship on Ajan Kloss, Rey thinks of how excited everyone will be to see the Falcon. They’ll all know immediately. They might as well have had a “JUST MARRIED” sign pinned on the top of the ship. No one could miss this hunk of beautiful junk anywhere. But as they land, Rey’s face falls. “Where is everyone?” she asks, her voice small. Nausea settles in her stomach. “What if they thought I died? What if they left?” she looks to Ben, who’s pushing the final lever for their landing.

As the ship quiets, he puts his hand on her shoulder. “There are other people here because I saw other ships just beyond those trees.” He points to their left, but Rey still frowns. “And I don’t think any of your friends think you died. Finn is Force sensitive, right? You said he felt when you died the first time, right? So, he’d know if it happened again.” He offers her a small smile before adding, “And if it makes you feel any better, they probably all think that I’m dead.” He lifts his hands slightly and mimes ‘Surprise!’

She laughs and shoves him lightly. “Ha-ha! Okay, let’s go,” she says, and the two of them leave the Falcon smiling, hand-in-hand.

It takes some walking around and yelling before another voice meets their calls. “Finn?! Finn, is that you?!”

“Rey?! POE, IT’S REY!”

A distant “What?!” comes from the same direction. Rey laughs and bites her thumb.

“OVER HERE, GUYS!” She waves her arms in big motions until she sees them dodge through the trees. The moment she sees them, she breaks out in tears. She has to clap a hand on her mouth to somewhat contain the sobs as she makes her way to them. They rush over to her and instantly put their arms around her as she cries. As they hold her, she realizes how much she’s missed them. These brothers that came to her from the stars. They will always be a part of her family.

When they break away from their hug, Rey sniffs and wipes her face with the back of her hand. Although her face is still puffy and wet from tears, a smile spreads across her face as she motions to Ben. “Here he is!” she says, part-laughing, part-crying. Ben walks over and puts an arm around her. His other hand is holding their baby’s hand. Little Fish is looking up at these two new humans with cautious eyes.

The two men don’t know what to stare at in disbelief first: Ben, or their baby. Finally, Poe says, “Hey! You brought him back! Welcome to the family, Ben!” He throws an arm around him and pats him on the back. “I like the new look.” He gestures towards Ben’s light tunic and overall good-guy wear.

“Oh…thanks…” Ben mumbles awkwardly.

Rey can tell he doesn’t know what to say or do, so she just rubs his arm and says, “I like his new look too.” He looks at her with a grateful smile and with such kind eyes that she remembers just how much she loves this new look on him—the one he wears beyond clothing. The one in his softened eyes and carefree smiles.

BB-8 comes rolling out, distracting Poe momentarily. “AY!” he says, crouching to get to his buddy. Finn walks over to Ben and holds out a hand. Ben takes it, and they shake. Finn’s mouth turns up into a smile before moving forward into a hug and patting the other man on the back.

“Welcome to the family, Ben. We’ve been excited to finally meet you.”

Ben awkwardly leans forward and pats Finn’s back. Rey can tell Ben’s heart must be pounding, and she can’t help but love how endearing it is. But she also knows how much this must mean to him. He was so terrified of being rejected by them. Now he sees that he really can be forgiven in this old galaxy of theirs. He can step foot on these planets with people who will care about him. People who will love him and enjoy his company almost as much as Rey does. People who will give him the chance to show them who Ben Solo really is, and who will help give him the new beginning he so desperately craves.

People like Finn and Poe.

Ben’s eyes burn with tears, and he struggles to compose himself. After another moment, he swallows and says, “Thank you.” Finn leans back and gives him another pat on the shoulder.

“Of course. You’re one of us now,” Finn says, “and there’s someone else who’s been waiting to see you.” He points in the direction they came from and starts heading that way. Ben’s shoulders relax and Rey’s heart somehow swells even more. As they follow him, Finn catches Rey’s teary eyes. He nods with a smile when she mouths ‘Thank you.’

After a few minutes of walking, Finn shouts out, “Hey, Chewie, they’re here!”

Ben freezes.

Their lovable wookie companion comes out of a small house situated near a common gathering place they all must use pretty regularly, as seats are scattered and some dishes are still sitting on the ground and on tables.

When Chewie sees Ben, he stops. No one says anything, but the air around them is sweet, and Ben’s face says it all. His eyes are lit up like he’s seeing someone he thought he’d never see again—someone he loved and cherished his whole life. Someone who was an uncle to him.

All of which was the case.

Ben takes a slow step forward, his eyes not parting from the wookie’s as he walks. They look into each other’s eyes, faces unmoving but minds racing. It’s like a lifetime of memories is playing between them. Every laugh, every cry, every time Ben turned to him for guidance and belonging. To know he was enough. And at the end of it all, the two are left remembering just how much they love each other. Tears well in Ben’s eyes. “Chewie.” The furry companion shouts and they run to each other. The wookie catches Ben in an embrace. The two hug and cry, Ben is sobbing into his fur. “I’m sorry,” he says between sobs. Chewie lets out the words he has needed to hear from him for years.

I forgive you.

Rey smiles as they continue to hug. Ben looks so cute being held by his friend. For the first time, he isn’t the tallest person there. Next to the 7 or 8-ft wookie, he looks almost like a kid again.

After they part, they laugh and smile and start swapping stories. Rey comes over with Little Fish, and Chewie roars with delight. In his native Shyriiwook, he tells Rey how much Little Fish looks like Ben did when he was little. She beams at this and asks for details.

Finn and Poe join in, and for the rest of the evening the five of them laugh and tell each other stories and watch Little Fish explore the forest, discovering new animals to chase. At the end of it all, Little Fish falls asleep in Rey’s arms, and they all sleepily sit in front of a fire.

“So, what’s next for you guys?” Finn asks through the crackling fire. Rey’s head is on Ben’s shoulder as she shrugs.

“I guess we don’t really know.”

“Do you know where you’re going to live?” Poe asks, “You’re more than welcome to stay here with us!”

Rey and Ben look at each other, thoughts moving between them. He takes her hand in his and smiles.

“Thanks, guys, but…I think we’re going to start our life somewhere more familiar. Somewhere our family can grow.”

“We’ll miss you guys,” Poe says. Rey looks back to her friends, a soft smile lingering on her lips.

“We’ll miss you guys too, but we won’t be very far away.”

“And we’ll visit often,” Ben adds, which makes everyone smile.

“Yes, and you guys have to promise to visit too!” she says.

“You’ve got it!” Poe says at the same time Finn says, “Of course!”

Rey giggles, and Poe and Finn start talking.

Next to the glow of the fire, and beneath the canopy of trees, Rey looks down at her sleeping little boy. Love flows through her as she watches his little chest rise and fall. She lightly brushes hair from his face and leans down to kiss him on the cheek.

Tomorrow we’ll find our new home, Little Fish, she says in her head as she watches his little mouth twitch up in his sleep. She smiles and kisses him again. And we will give you the best life any child could ever wish for. A childhood you will love.

Notes:

I hope you all loved this chapter! I loved writing the reunion between Ben and Chewie. <3

On a couple fun side notes: While I worked on this chapter, I listened to “Come to Me” by the Goo Goo Dolls a bunch. I super recommend giving it a listen because it’s so sweet and very fitting for them (especially in this chapter). Also, side note, I have also been exposed to the song “StarCrossed” by MissThis and am in love with it! It was written about Rey and Ben, and it’s so beautiful. <3 Check it out if you’d like!

Lastly, this lovely picture was done by @QookyQuiche <3

Chapter 30

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Tatooine is warm, and the sun and heat are familiar enough for Rey to feel at home. It wouldn’t matter where they were though. Life is bright and so full of hope and beauty for the young Solo family.

They’d be happy anywhere.

Rey looks over to Ben and Little Fish and waves her hand to beckon them to come more quickly. “Hurry! I think I found the place!” They’d been searching for a new home for a few days. Nothing seemed to fit for them, but while Ben and Little Fish were napping, Rey found a place she was ecstatic about. “We’re almost there,” she squeals.

The three of them trudge through the sand as they climb up one last dune. Their one-year-old refused to be held, which left him nearly sinking half the time—and he would have at least twice if his father weren’t holding him up by both hands. Rey skids down the other side of the dune and point her hands toward a hut. “Ta-da!” she says. Ben smiles.

“It looks lovely,” he says. Rey’s arms flop to her sides.

“You said that about the last three places.”

“Yes, and they’ve all been lovely.”

Rey rolls her eyes, but a smile is wide on her face. “Well, wait until you see the inside.”

They duck inside the small hut and welcome the cool escape from the heat of the suns. Ben closes his eyes and lets himself cool down. Rey may be used to the heat, but he sure isn’t. He hears their baby’s little feet pattering on the floor, and he opens his eyes. When he does, his mouth gapes open. “Rey…this is our house!”

The simple two-room hut, tucked in an empty spot on Tatooine, had a large kitchen with a circular table in the middle, and a sink and stove at the back wall, and a small hallway that held both bedrooms and a bathroom. Laid out exactly like their hut on the planet they created together.

She laughs and runs over to him. “I know!”

He flounders for words as she wraps her arms around his waist. “Ho-how?”

She shrugs and lets her face lie against his chest. She closes her eyes and ignores the heat creeping in through the open door. She doesn’t care how hot it is—she’ll never stop wanting to be held by him. “I just think we found the right place,” she says dreamily, swaying side to side, “It’s a simple design. We just had to search until we found it.”

She keeps swaying until a few seconds pass without his reply. She looks up at him and sees his hand over his mouth and tears in his eyes. “This is where we’re starting our life,” he says through shuddered breaths, “This is where we’re going to raise Little Fish. Where we will watch him grow and make friends…” His face falls in his hands and Rey rubs his back as he cries. Tears start spilling down her face as she comes to grips with it all too. They’re in this home that looks almost identical to their old one. In a house that looks like the one they created on their own little utopian world. Now it’s here, as if the galaxy sent this little gift to them as a “welcome home” present to start their new life.

“I was so scared,” he says, wiping his face, “I was so worried our life would be so different once we came back.” Rey holds his face with one of her hands and wipes his tears with the other.

She smiles. “I told you it would all be okay,” she says and kisses him on the lips.

He laughs softly and says, “You did.” He wraps his arms around her and kisses her deeply. They take in this moment with every touch of their lips. With every taste. With every sound.

When they finish kissing, Ben holds Rey close and looks into her eyes. “I’m glad we came here. Thank you.”

She reaches up and kisses him again before burying her face in his chest. When he puts his arms around her, she looks up at him and says, “Thank you for trusting me.”

Ben smiles and kisses her on the top of the head. “Of course.” They’re only holding each other for another half-second before Little Fish comes over to join in on the hug. They laugh and gush at how cute he is as they pick him up and place him between them.

“Well, Little Fish, this is our new home,” Ben says, bouncing him slightly.

“What do you think?” Rey says, rubbing her baby’s back. He sits there and watches both his parents. His eyes have darkened since he was first born, and now they’re about as dark as Rey’s, but not quite as dark as Ben’s. He searches their faces before smiling.

“Ya!” he squeals, his arms springing in the air. Rey and Ben look at each other with a shared shrug, and a smile of disbelief that their baby actually somewhat answered.

“I think he approves,” Ben says with a laugh, waving at Little Fish as he toddles around their new home.

“Yeah,” Rey says thoughtfully as she watches her baby take in this house that looks so much like their old one, “I definitely think he approves.”

 

**

 

Forty years later

 

The suns are almost ready to set when everyone scatters from their houses and begin getting everything ready. A woman is setting up a tent next to one that looks to be only half-done. “Eddie and Vil, you need to get over here and finish your tent! The guests are arriving soon!”

A little boy with sandy brown hair and freckles over his nose lets out a loud sigh and says, “It’s too higghhh! And they won’t be here for like an hour!”

The mother stops and gives her son a stern look any parent would recognize. “Vil, we don’t know when they’ll be here, but Grandma and Grandpa will be here soon, and it especially needs to look good when they get here. So get your brother to help you with the high parts and hurry up.”

The boy sighs. “Okay, but then I’m going to go play ball with Kim and Teb.”

His mom smiles, “Okay, it’s a deal.” Then she resumes her own preparations for the weekend festivities.

Slowly, everything starts to come together. There are about twenty adults and almost as many kids, and more families will be there soon. By now, the fire has been lit, streamers have been set up, and a lavish feast has been set out on a long table, decorated by some of the younger children.

Finally, a little girl with black pigtails stops skipping in place when she sees the guests of honor. “Grandma!” She goes running toward Rey at full speed. She jumps on her the moment she gets into reaching distance, and Rey puts her arms around her.

“Hello, dear,” she says and kisses her granddaughter on the cheek.

“Millie!” Ben says as he appears from behind Rey. “We miss you!”

“I know! I miss you too! It’s been foreevveeer,” she says, smiling and showing two gaps where teeth used to be.

“Ohhh,” Rey and Ben say in unison and look at each other in surprise for Millie’s benefit.

“Say, did you lose another tooth?” Rey asks. Millie beams, her cheeks dimpling.

“Yup!”

“Did you show Grandma and Grandpa what you kids made?” an adult calls out to the girl.

A man putting a blanket down near one of the tents calls out, “Did Millie get you too soon?”

Rey takes her granddaughter’s hand and says, “Nah. We got here early. We just couldn’t wait to see all of you.” She squeezes Millie’s cheek , causing the girl to giggle.

“I see she’s lost a tooth since we saw you guys a couple days ago, Han,” Ben says, making his way over to his son. “Here, let me help you with that.” He takes one side of the blanket Han’s putting down and straightens it out.

“Dad, this is for you guys. You shouldn’t have to do any of the work.”

Ben picks up another blanket. “I’d hardly call putting blankets on the ground work,” he says. Han laughs. 

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right," he says as they place the last blanket on the ground. He grew up to look just like his father, but with some of Rey's features, like the way she smiles and the shape and color of her eyes.

When everything is ready, they sit around to eat. All of Ben and Rey’s favorite dishes are on the table. Four different types of custard, six different types of meat, and rolls made from two of the families. There are also a lot of unidentifiable dishes Rey assumes Millie and Lori were at the helm of making. 

“Grandma, Grandma! Watch what Millie and I figured out how to do!” A blond girl says with a smile, tugging at Rey’s shawl. 

“All right, Lori, sweetheart. I’ll come see. Just one moment.” She starts getting out of her seat when a familiar voice cuts in from behind.

“I hope I’m not late.”

Poe.

Rey throws her arms around her old friend. “Oh, I thought you wouldn’t show! Finn got here a few hours ago.”

“Yeah, well, Finn's never as fashionably late as me,” he teases.

“Well, I’m sure living nearby gives him a slight disadvantage to that fashion show,” she says.

They look at one of the table guests, who looks to have both types of rolls stuffed in his mouth, along with one or two types of custard. He meets eye contact with them as he swallows his food.

“Poe!” Finn shouts, moving around the table and running over to give his old friend a hug and pat on the back. “We have to catch up!”

“We just saw each other a month ago, Finn,” he laughs. Finn cocks a brow, and Poe nods. “Yeah, I have a lot to talk about too.” They start talking and walk back over to the table.

While Poe is scooping up his food, Rey feels a warm set of hands rest on her shoulders. All unease, no matter how small, leaves her body. His presence is a balm to her soul that will never run out. No matter how many days, months, or years pass by, she will never tire of feeling his touch, or the way it still turns her body to jelly.

“Ben,” she says, touching his hand as she twists around to look at him. “What are you up to?” She looks up at the man she loves, and to this day, her body goes a little weak every time she looks at him. He’s smiling down at her with the same smile she fell in love with over four decades earlier.

He leans down and kisses her. Touching his lips to her ear, he whispers, “Let’s go watch the suns set together.” Rey smiles, the lines around her eyes wrinkling. She nods and tries to quietly sneak away from their party, with him guiding her by the hand on the way out. The fortunate part of gatherings as big as this one is that, regardless of who or what anyone is celebrating, it's big and loud enough to slip away undetected.

They make it up a hill and take a seat together. They look out at all the people below and marvel at the site. All the beautiful family that came from them, and the wonderful friends they’ve kept and made over the years. The lights, the food, the fire—everything. It’s all so enchanting.

Rey rests her head on Ben’s shoulder, and he puts his arm around her. “Look at what our love created,” she says. They continue to watch the party below. Some of their grandchildren and their friends are climbing around, chasing one another. Han and Alice are chatting and laughing away, probably swapping embarrassing stories about their parents from growing up.

 “We’ve had a good life,” she says.

Ben smiles. “We have. And it’s not over yet.”

She looks up at him with a big smile that dimples her cheeks as she runs her hands through his hair. It’s still as long as it used to be, but now it’s peppered with gray. She thinks she loves it now more than ever. Her eyes flicker to his, and she smiles. Despite the forty years that have passed since they first came to Tatooine, whenever she looks into his eyes, she still sees the man she first fell in love with back on Ahch-To. The one she risked everything to bring back to her, after he did the same thing for her just a few months before. In her eyes, he is always the man who carried their son on his shoulder off the Millennium Falcon and onto the sands of Tatooine after leaving their perfect world. A world they’ve visited many times throughout their life, but one that proved to be less perfect than the world they gained by leaving.

“Happy anniversary, Ben,” she says, a tear falling down her cheek. “I’m so glad I found you.”

Ben wipes her tear away with his thumb and gently holds her face in his hands. He looks into her eyes, and she can see he’s fighting back tears of his own as he speaks. “Rey, I don’t know what my life would have turned into had I never found you. My whole life would have continued with an emptiness in my chest and a piece of me missing. I was miserable for as long as I could remember, and I always thought I’d feel that way. But then I found you. I fell in love with you immediately, and I fought for you. You turned my heart and put it into yours. I loved you more than I had ever loved anyone. And tonight, I love you even more than I did then, and tomorrow I’ll love you even more than that.” He turns his head and kisses her lips. “Every day I love you more, and I can’t wait to keep living every day with you. Happy anniversary.” They kiss again, and they hold each other and laugh and cry and revel in the joy their lives have brought them.

Then the suns drizzle an orange glow onto their laps, and they know it’s time to watch the horizon. The reddening suns cast long shadows on the view below, and their hearts fill even more. They watch as their children and their children’s children dance and laugh below, and all they can think about is how beautiful life became as soon as they fell in love.

Together, they smile and revel in the happiness they created. The happiness that occurred after so much hardship. Once Rey reached Ben between worlds all those years ago, they never had to part again. So, no matter what life threw at them, they were always okay. As long as they were together, they could do anything.

Now, they watch the suns set around them as the laughter of their children and their children’s children fill the air. As they hold each other close and bathe in the warmth of the waking twilight, they know they’re both thinking the very same thing:

As long as they’re together, they’re home.

Notes:

And that's a wrap! Thank you to everyone who has shared this journey with me, whether from the very beginning or just recently (and to any future readers :) ). It's been a fun, crazy journey and I've loved every minute of it. Writing this fic provided me with the closure I needed after TROS, and I'm glad I was able to share it with all of you. <3

Thanks so much again! Let me know in the comments what your favorite part of the story was. <3 I love you all! Thank you for a wonderful journey.

(The art in this chapter was done by @lauvamp-art)