Chapter 1: Paulkins for @ready-to-mcfucking-die
“Fuckin’ murder me,” Emma mutters as she walks down the windy streets of Hatchetfield.
Her boss gave her a coffee list for EVERYBODY going to the office meeting today. It would take two runs to bring all the coffees to the office.
She sighed and walked up to the counter.
“You ready for a 13 coffee order?” She asked dryly to the barista.
He gulped and nodded, taking out his notepad.
She listed the drinks and by the time she got to the bottom, his face was bright red. He turned around to start making the array of drinks.
Emma spilt the money onto the counter and leaned against the wall. She realized the barista kept staring at her, his blush growing. She smirked, maybe it wasn’t too bad she was here.
Once the first 6 were made, she made a noise to get his attention.
“I’m going to bring this to the office and be back for the second batch,” She notified him.
“Why don’t I make the rest and bring them to wherever you’re going. I’m on break soon anyways,”
By now, his face was brighter than a tomato and he seemed ready to pass out on the floor right then and there. But Emma shrugged.
“Paul,” Emma smiled and mentally remembered that name.
Once the order was officially finished, Paul hoisted his bag over his shoulder and held the coffee’s.
The two walked out of the cafe in awkward silence. Emma wanted to make a move to make the man more flustered but it was hard to with the coffees in their hands.
So she waited. Made small talk. Until they got to the office.
Paul insisted on bringing them up to the meeting and passing them out.
“May I thank you?”
“Weird question but o- mph,”
Emma’s lips connected with Paul’s making him squeak and melt into the smaller woman’s touch.
“Thank me again,” Paul had a dumb loopy grin on his face.
“Will do, beanstalk,”
Chapter 2: Embrely/Grunt for @youneedjesus01
Emberly was impressed. For their one year anniversary, Grunt took her to an empty field with a picnic and painting station set up.
“This is- This is beautiful,”
“Like you,” Grunt giggled and booped his girlfriend’s nose. “Let’s sit down?”
Embrely nodded and let Grant take her hand to the blanket set down. Her eyes went wide at the array of food laid out in front of her.
“You deserve the world, darling, I wanted to give you the best first year anniversary,”
Emberly blushed at Grunt’s flirting and looked over at the paint.
“Could I paint you?”
“Of course, darling,”
Embrely squealed happily and started to sketch her boyfriend. He was making weird faces when she looked up and flexing his muscles, making her smile even wider.
“You got paint on your face,” Grunt said, dipping his finger in the pink paint and putting it on Embrely’s cheek.
Embrely gasped but she soon smirked. “You’re going to regret that,”
She took the yellow paint and did the same, but all over his shirt.
“Oh, this is WAR,”
The two ran around the field, throwing paint on each other, laughing like never before. This was true happiness.
“Not on the food, you heathen!”
Embrely smiled. “SURRENDER!”
Grunt soon gasped as she poured the paint all over his hair.
“I said surrender!” Embrely yelled back.
“I surrender, I surrender!” Grunt put his hands up and dropped his paint bucket.
“I am the ultimate winner!”
Grunt smiled and went over to Embrely and kissed her softly. They were all covered in paint but in that moment, they didn’t care.
Chapter 3: Jazzalil for @bi-gstupid
Sometimes she liked being a princess.
Other times she loathed it.
These were one of the times Jemilla hated being an heir to the royal line of Laments.
She was in a stuffy ballroom with a too loud orchestra, in a too tight corset.
Jemilla sighed and walked to the food table. She wanted to be attached to this table for all eternity.
But her lonesome didn’t last for long as Prince Pyro, the same prince he was supposed to be courting, strode over to her.
“Princess Lament,” He curtly bowed.
Jemilla held her tongue and curtseyed. Fucking Princes…
The small talk hurt her physically. When he left to go make a speech on stage, Jemilla closed her eyes and wished to be somewhere else.
But again, she was not alone for long as someone joined her at the table.
And unlike Prince Pyro- this woman was breathtaking.
She had her golden locks tied up in a bun, extenuating her light brown eyes. Her dress was as simple as a ballroom gown could get; an olive shade with sparkles and designs on the skirt.
“Greetings,” Jemilla could barely speak, her words breathy. “You are-”
“Princess Zazzalil Pyro, at your royal service,” She bowed but soon stood up and giggled. “You’re the one marrying my brother, aren’t you? No offense, of course, but he is the worst prince to be wed to,”
“I agree,” Jemilla laughed before realizing her mistake. “I apologise-”
“No, no, don’t, I like you,” Zazzy smiled. “Not stuck up like the rest of these royal pains in the arse,”
Jemilla laughed. This was the most fun she had in… ever, really.
“Why don’t we take a leave from this shitshow and chat in my room?”
Jemilla let Zazzalil take her hand and lead her up the grand staircase. A few hallways later and curt nods to staff, Jemilla was pushed against a wall.
“Is this okay?” Zazzalil asked.
“I know you don’t want to marry my brother,” Zazzalil muttered as she began to take off her dress and corset, leaving her in just her coverall clothes.
“Why don’t we elope instead?” Zazzalil asked, peppering small kisses on Jem’s face.
Jemilla nodded feverently. “I would love to,”
With a smirk and a nod, Zazzalil led Jemilla to the bed.
Chapter 4: Potseed for @craphole-is-lord
Deb hated their birthday with a passion. They hated this time of year, period.
Since their parents left them on the streets at age 13, they hadn’t been able to spend Christmas or their birthday like they wanted. So they grew to hate the holiday time.
Deb had a home. Deb had a family.
After 4 years of living paycheck to paycheck in a rusty old apartment with a man who used them- they had a good bed and a good hug to come home to at the end of the day.
It made them kind of emotional.
So when their birthday came around, they didn’t tell them. Their new parents were aware, from the adoption papers, but they did not want to make a big deal about this. They had given them so much already and it would be too selfish of them to ask for any more.
But when they came home from a Christmas party with Alice, they didn’t expect to be scared by a huge chorus of “SURPRISE” from their new friends and family.
Their parents, Ted and Paul, Uncle Bill, Auntie Em, Uncle Henry, Aunt Char; all of them were there.
“Alice what is this-”
“A surprise party, Starlight,” Alice took their hand. “It’s all for you,”
Deb cried more than the day Ted and Paul adopted them.
Chapter 5: Chai Coffee for @sweetsmalldog
Chai coffee doesn't have an official relationship tag so that's why it's not there, sorry Sam
Bill looked at Ted and Paul with a quizzical look on his face. They sat on the floor back to back
“What are they doing?” Bill whispered to Charlotte.
“They got in a fight,”
“Then why are they holding hands?”
“They get sad when they fight,” Charlotte shrugged and went back to her work.
“Wait wait- are they dating yet?”
Charlotte shook her head.
“Unbelievable,” Bill threw up his hands.
He stared at the not so couple- couple before smirking and turning to Charlotte.
“Wanna play a prank?”
These words sparked the Closet Disaster (depending on who you ask).
“Hey Ted, come here!” Charlotte called over, giving him a wink in the process.
Ted’s pansexual ass quickly left Paul’s side and followed Charlotte into the closet. Charlotte came back a few minutes later and gave Bill the signal.
“Paul, I need help with this, could you help?”
Paul begrudgingly got up and got led to the storage closet.
“Bill what are you doin-”
The door closed before Paul finish his sentence.
He turned around to see Ted, only illuminated by the little ceiling light.
“Hi,” Paul shuffled around nervously.
“Do you have any clue why we are locked in this closet?”
Paul shrugged and went to knock on the door.
“Bill? Charlotte? Anyone?”
No one answered.
“I- uh- I need to pee,”
“Do you really?” Charlotte asked.
“Let us out!” Ted screamed.
“Not ‘till you kiss!” Bill yelled before kicking the door.
Paul looked at Ted and then to the floor. He couldn’t face his crush.
“Come here,” Ted said. “Let’s get this over with,”
Paul bit his lip and went on his tippy toes to kiss the man. It was perfect.
None of them wanted to stop. They kept making out, to the point where Paul was slammed against the wall.
“They’re doing way more than kissing,”
“Gross,” Bill whispered. “Let’s go,”
“You have a daughter, Bill, you’ve done worse!”
The very couple couple couldn’t see his reaction but after that, they had the closet to themselves.
Chapter 6: Tootsie/Mega-girl for @friedrosemary
Mega-girl and her boss Junior decided that the office was too stuffy to be sitting around all day.
So the two friends strolled down to the farmers market down the street.
As the two walked, Mega- girl stopped at almost every stand. She was thrilled with all the booths, selling tiny trinkets, candles, jewelry, succulents, vegetables!
“‘Scuse me ma’am- sir!”
Mega-girl looked over to the shout to see a short and stout (like a teapot) man with blonde hair and soft blue eyes waving at them.
“Interest’d in ma flowers ma’am?”
He spoke in a soft southern accent that made Mega-girl flustered by the first syllable.
Junior, who sensed this, pushed her towards the table.
“Yes we are,” Junior smirked. “She loves flowers,”
“I do,” She whispered, embarrassed to even be in this man’s presence.
“Our lilies are on sale- buy two get one free,”
“I’ll take two white lilies then,”
“You know, ma’am, those mean blooming romance,”
Mega- girl blushed at that and grabbed the two dollars needed to pay him. He made a noise of complaint.
“It’s on the house ma’am,”
“Call me Mega-girl,”
“Then you may call me Tootsie,”
Mega-girl smiled. Quite a strange name, but what was normal these days?
“This might be a little forward,” Tootise started.
Junior pat her on the back and pointed to another booth. She waved him goodbye and turned to the flustered man.
“Go out with me?” Mega-girl finished his sentence.
“Yes, I would like that,”
Chapter 7: Bill/Paul for @charlie-bean
After hours of convincing and running around the house, Alice was finally sitting contently on the couch watching Frozen.
Bill loved his little girl, don’t get him wrong, but it was hectic.
So he tiptoed away from watching Alice and went to his phone. He dialed up Paul, his cute hot next door neighbor.
“Hey, I know it’s Christmas Eve but could you come over, Alice wants you,”
“I can drop by,”
He did more than ‘drop by’ alright.
As soon as he walked through the door, he was bulldozed down by Alice.
“UNCLE PAUL, UNCLE PAUL!” She chanted.
“Daddy?” Oh no. “Could Uncle Paul and I watch Frozen?”
“You should be asking Uncle Paul that,” Bill said, breathing a sigh of relief that the request wasn’t too much.
“Of course I will,” Paul said through gritted teeth.
The whole reason why Bill didn’t like Paul at first was because he didn’t like musicals. But Alice could get him to watch any musical, which amused Bill to no end.
Not even through the first song, Alice passed out on the couch.
“I’m sorry- let me bring her in so you can go home,”
“I was thinking I could stay- if- if that’s not a hassle,”
“I would like that,”
Bill tucked Alice in as quick as he could but being careful to not wake her, he wanted to spend as much time with Paul until he went home.
But as soon as he got situated on the couch, Bill was scooped into a hug.
They were cuddling- holy mother of fuck- Bill and his hot neighbor Paul were cuddling!
But their was still a problem at hand.
Being wrapped in Paul’s arms was heavenly, but every time he looked at Paul, he had the great urge to make out with him right then and there.
“Bill?” Paul asked.
Bill’s face heated up as he realized he was staring at Paul way longer than normal.
“Paul, I-” Bill couldn’t find the words.
He traced Paul’s flushed jawline with his thumb.
“Can I- uh-” Bill stuttered.
Paul didn’t even nod, he swooped in for a kiss.
He ended up staying the night.
Chapter 8: Curtwen for Tyler (I ain't writing down your long @)
Owen was NOT happy. He had to work on Christmas. And he had to wear a stuffy suit.
The worst part; the absolute cherry on top; Agent Curt Mega.
Not only was he obnoxious, he was hotter than the sun!
And he had to spend Christmas with this doofus.
Maybe it won't be all that bag, he reasoned. It could be fun.
After the mission, which he almost tore his suit over, they got to the hotel and…
There was only one bed.
"Fuck me," Owen mumbled.
Curt seemed to flush but Owen passed that off as him being embarrassed about the situation they were in.
"I'll sleep on the floor-"
"Nonsense. We are, both, uh, men and we can share the bed,"
Owen shrugged. "If you insist,"
He left to get ready for his fate of lying in bed with his hot partner for a whole night.
A surge of confidence ran through him as he realized 'holy shit he was going to be sleeping with Curt Mega' and he stomped into the main space of the room and kissed Curt.
"Do it again," Curt whispered.
Owen didn't need to be told twice
Chapter 9: Tedgens for @debthestoner
Henry sighed and dropped his bag onto the floor. He was utterly exhausted.
“Long day at work?”
Henry jumped and turned around to see Ted standing behind him.
“Oh, hi dear,” Henry all but slumped onto Ted’s taller frame. “I’m tired,”
“I have something that will cheer you up,” Ted said with a smile.
Ted went onto his phone for a second before turning on a song. Henry didn’t recognize it but it was fairly nice.
“May I have this dance, kind sir?”
Henry laughed softly and took Ted’s hand. To the music they swayed around their kitchen. Henry put his head onto Ted’s shoulder and his partner hummed along to the song.
“This is for practice,” Ted whispered.
Ted reached into his pocket and before Henry knew what was going on, he pulled out a ring.
“YES!” Henry squealed, jumping up and down.
“You didn’t even let me ask you,” Ted said. “I had this whole dramatic speech prepared and it was elegant and gracef-”
“Just say it or I’ll change my mind,” His sarcastic nature couldn’t even wipe away his wide grin.
“Fuck it, come here you,”
Ted kissed Henry quickly before slipping the ring onto Henry’s finger.