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Sinking In

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It’s just too hot, she can’t sleep, the hotel has a pool and somehow it makes perfect sense to go for a swim at three in the morning. The moon is almost full and gives enough light. The hotel itself is dark. Everybody’s sleeping and it’s quiet. Melinda loves that time of day for exactly that reason. But when she gets outside, she hears the sound of splashing water. She presses her lips together and grabs her towel tighter. That better be an alligator because she’d rather fight a reptile than deal with another annoying – Phil.

It’s Phil. Wearing a washed out, green t-shirt and black trunks, he’s swimming through the length of the pool with elegant movements. He’s fast, too. Soon he’ll turn and see her.

Smiling, she places her towel on one of the chairs and kicks of her shoes, before she walks up to the edge of the pool. She reaches it just in time to watch Phil make a u-turn under water, before he pushes onto the surface and starts swimming towards her. He’s so focused on his task, he still hasn’t noticed her. She doesn’t mind. She loves watching him like this. He has great arms and legs. He has a great back, too. Such a shame that it’s covered up by this green, very clingy, very wet t-shirt.

She swallows. Of course she knows why he’s wearing it. The scar. She’s almost sure that the time on the bus when he showed it to her was the first time he had shown it to anybody aside his doctors. He trusted her then. She wonders if he trusts her as much now. She doubts it. Sure, he said he’s glad to have her back and she believes him. But she also can’t forget the expression on his face when he told her to either follow his orders or leave.

Anyway, she’s back now and she won’t leave again. Five more arm’s lengths and he’ll reach her end of the pool.

“I almost forgot how much you loved swimming,” she says.

“Melinda!” He changes his movement and stands up in the pool. The water is deep enough to swim, but when he stands it doesn’t reach his shoulders.

She smiles. “Don’t stop on my behalf.”

He runs a hand over his forehead, brushing back the wet hair. Oh, she wants to do that too. And she wants to kiss him. And take that shirt off him. She wants to kiss his scar. She wanted that since he showed it to her.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks.

“Too hot.”

He grins. “You could come in. Water’s wonderful.” There’s a drop of water on his throat she wants to kiss away.

But she’s his friend and his colleague. And he loves Audrey. He sure wouldn’t appreciate her kissing him. So instead she pulls her tank top out of her jeans.

“What are you doing?” he asks, sounding a little squeaky. Is he blushing?

“Following your advice.” With a smirk she lets go of the top and unbuttons the pants.

“But I never …” he stutters and crosses his arms when she lifts up her shirt and; “You’re wearing a swimsuit,” he says.

Of course she is. “Skinny dipping never tempted me.” She drops the top on the floor and quickly slips out of her pants. Then she sits down on the edge and swings her legs into the water, before she slips into it with a swift move.

Smiling brightly, he’s looking at her. His arms loosely resting on the water surface.

“What?” she asks and takes a step in his direction. Thanks to the water that step carries her much closer to him that it would outside.

“I’m so happy you’re back,” he says and moves towards her.

She smiles, too. When he reaches out his hand, she takes it and allows him to pull her closer until they’re just an arm’s length apart.

His expression sobers. “I’m sorry I shot you. I’m sorry I pushed you away.” His voice is soft and warm. He’s asking for forgiveness and he has it. It feels like he’s asking for more.

She takes a breath. “Please …”

“Please what?” He squeezes her hand and she doesn’t have the strength to pull away. If it’d be her choice, they’d kiss now. And he’d love her back. But this is reality and she doesn’t want to misinterpret.

“What do you want from me?” she asks.

He tilts his head. “I trust you most, you know that, right?”

No, she didn’t. But she believes him now. Her heart is racing.

He nods. There’s more. She knows there’s more. He smiles again.

“Did you really never go skinny dipping?” he asks with a slight frown.

She snorts. “Asks the man wearing a shirt in a pool.” She wants to kiss the crinkle between his eyebrows above his nose.

He presses his lips together and she wants to kiss him even more. They’re still holding hands, but it’s not enough. She wants more. She needs more. But he’ll say no, so what’s the point? And this isn’t about her or even about them. It’s about him and his shirt. She wishes she could make him feel good. Feel loved. She loves him. She wishes she could give him peace but that’s probably something they both won’t find for a while.

“You’re hiding your scar,” she says.

“It’s ugly.”

No, it’s not. He’s alive. The scar is a reminder of what he survived.

“Take off your shirt,” she says. His body healed. He’s healed. She must believe it. She can’t lose him again.

His eyes widen and he squeezes her hand again. He takes a deep breath. “What do you want from me?”

Oh gosh. Everything. All of him. “What are you willing to give?”

He pulls her closer by her hand while he cradles her face with his left. His thumb caresses her cheek, spreading the water he brings to her skin. Their gazes connect. He has such beautiful eyes.

Such a pity that it’s too dark for her to see what color they have tonight. They look dark grey. It takes him forever to bend down to her. She opens her lips and tilts her chin. She wants him closer. She lifts her right hand out of the water and places on his shoulder. His shirt feels wet and cool under her palm. He’s so very close now. Her eyes flutter shut and his lips finally grace hers. He pulls away too fast, so she follows his movements with a soft moan, lifting herself up on her tiptoes. Her left hand tightens around his and the fingertips of her right dig into his shoulder. When she nibbles on his bottom lip, he groans. His hand moves from her cheek to her nape.

He lets go of her hand and she wants to protest, but he grabs her hip and pulls her against him, which is just so much better. His body is warm. He deepens the kiss. She loves his taste. Their legs grace against each other. She wants to wrap herself around him. She wants to have him inside her. Her left hand clenches around the fabric of his shirt, pulling it away from his body.

He breaks away from her mouth but holds her close otherwise, leaning his forehead against hers. “Just to be clear, I love you,” he says softly.

Her heart skips a beat and she leans back to look at him. He blinks. She should say something, she knows, but talking was never her forte and he said he loves her. He wouldn’t lie about that. Not to her. He really loves her.

His lips thin and he looks away. “You don’t feel the same,” he says and nods. His hold on her already loosens. “That’s okay, I can -”

“I love you so much,” she says. She held the words back for so long it feels strange to set them free.

He looks at her again and takes a shaky breath. “Then what?”

Audrey. “Are you sure you want me?” she asks. “Not somebody else?” She’ll take his love in any form, she’d just like to prepare herself if he wants to leave her behind.

“Since the late eighties,” he says. “I want you since then.”


“I’m sure,” he adds. He looks confident. And she believes him. She kisses him and he smiles against her lips. It’s perfect. The hot summer night above them, the water surrounding them. The moon. Everything’s perfect. Romantic and cheesy, too. But with him, she needs it. She wants all of it. She presses her body against his. He hardens against her hip and she rubs herself against him. She wants him. She wanted him for so long.

Again, he breaks their kiss. “One thing, though,” he breathes against her mouth.

She presses her lips against his quickly. “Yes?”

“Please don’t ask me to take off clothes in public spaces? Because whenever you do I just want to comply and then take off all your clothes too and –“ He pulls in a sharp breath. “Gosh, as soon as we’re somewhere more private I want to peel you out of that swimsuit and kiss you everywhere.”

“I see.”

“It would be very inappropriate.”


“And now that we’re kinda maybe a couple I’m not sure I could resist.”

She needs to see his face again. “Kinda maybe?” she asks.

He sighs. “We haven’t talked about this yet and I don’t want to push you to commit if you’re not-”

“But you want commitment?”

“I’m in this. Whatever you want, wherever you want to take this, I’m in.”

“Definitely a couple, then.” Going for a swim tonight was obviously the best idea she had haver had in her life. The two of them, a couple. She loves that. Then she smiles. “Now take off your shirt.”

His growl makes everything worth it. “I’m so close to just press you against that wall and fuck you right here.”

Oh gosh, yes. She wants that. His cock twitches against her and she rubs her hips against his, making him groan again. She wants him to fill her up and to feel him everywhere, but she also wants him naked. She has something to prove. So she takes a leap back. He opens his mouth, but when she slides the straps of her swimsuit over her shoulders, the only sound he produces is a strangled groan.

“We could get caught,” he mumbles.

She slips out of the straps. “We’re in the middle of nowhere and the five people that actually are here are sleeping for at least two more hours.” She’s not sure if he can hear her. He doesn’t react to her words at all. He just stares at her, when she slides the swimsuit down and exposes her breasts. The water feels good against her bare skin. Maybe she likes skinny dipping after all. Thanks to her flexibility she manages to get out of the swimsuit without dunking herself or simply falling over. It’s a struggle, especially when his face is such a distraction, but she manages to keep her grace.

When she throws the swimsuit out of the water and hits the ground outside the pool with a wet thud, Phil straightens up.

“Melinda.” He swallows hard. His gaze wanders over her and she just stands there, tilting her head.

“What about condoms,” he asks. He’s right. As soon as they’ll touch, they probably won’t stop before she had him inside her. They really should move this elsewhere. It would be the smart thing to do. But it’s not what she wants. If he’ll let her have him here, she’ll take him.

“Pill,” she says. “And I’m clean.”

“Come here to me,” he rasps. He’s breathless. His whole body is tense and he’s wearing to many clothes.

“Take off your shirt,” she tells him again.

This time he obeys. Like she did before, he throws the item over the edge of the pool to the ground.

“Trunks too,” she adds. He struggles a little more than she did, but he manages. Then he’s naked and she wishes they’d have more light. He’s beautiful.

She moves towards him. “I want to kiss you.”

“Yes,” he breathes and reaches out his arms. Again she takes his hand. Both his hands, this time. She pulls him towards her, but doesn’t allow their bodies to touch. She needs to do something.

“Hold still, “ she whispers.

He closes his eyes and swallows again. She kisses his throat first, making him tremble. She loves him so much. When she lets go of his hands, he just holds his arms in place. He’s wonderful. She glides her hands over his chest, enjoying the contrast of water to skin and chest hair. He feels fantastic. She traces the lines of his scar. She’s so grateful he’s alive. She won’t let him slip away again.

“It’s not ugly,” she says.

He opens his eyes. “Please,” he whispers.

She can feel his heart beat quick and steady against her palm. “It’s not ugly,” she repeats, looking in his eyes. “I love you.” Saying it now feels natural. What follows feels natural, too. They kiss. They touch. She loves him so much. His hands glide over her body, her arms, her shoulders, her breasts, her hips. Her ass. She reaches between their bodies and wraps her hand around his cock. He feels good against her palm. He lifts her up by her hips before he cups her ass.

She wraps her legs around him and he glides into her. It’s easy. It’s light. The water helps. She feels almost weightless. She thought she’d be more desperate, but she’s not desperate at all. He loves her. He says so as he pushes into her. He kisses her temple, her cheek, her mouth. Her shoulder. She remembers his earlier words. If he wants to make them come true, she’ll gladly let him. After that she’d do some exploring with her lips as well. And her hands. Gosh, she can’t get enough of touching him!

They rock against each other slowly. He feels so very good. She feels full and warm and loved. She feels loved. Her body tingles.

“Harder,” she breathes. Maybe she’s a little bit desperate. She bucks her hips against his and he gasps. She kisses him. They have to be quiet, after all. He thrusts up into her harder, using his knees for leverage. She loves the angle they have. He hits all the right spots. Her nipples rub against his chest and she can easily reach his mouth to kiss him. She could kiss him forever.

Rolling her head back, she comes, biting her lip to keep herself from screaming. He presses his mouth against her throat and comes too. She can’t see him, because her eyes fell close without her doing, but she feels him tense and them relax, before he spurts his seed inside her. Next time she will watch. She wants to see his face in ecstasy. Next time they’ll need much more light.

They hold position just for a little while longer, kissing, touching. It’s lovely.

“What now?” he asks.

“My room,” she says. It’s closer. It makes perfect sense. He smiles and kisses her again.