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Hedgehog-Eas Corpus

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NOTE: The conversations in this fanfic will all be in caps.

Sonic and Tails enter the stage. The audience was cheering as they arrived. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" Sonic says. "May we have your attention please!" Tails said as the audiences cheered ceased. Sonic announces, "We are going to do something a little bit different today on Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"Not to worry, we're still the same cartoon. But only today's episode will be in black and white!" Tails tells the audience. "That's correct little buddy! You won't hear us talking either because the theme of this episode is going to be that of a Silent Film!" Sonic said.

"Right, so if we do talk, you won't hear us. Instead you'll see captions of the words we say!" Tails says. Sonic concludes, "So, we all hope you enjoy this way past cool episode!" Sonic said as the audience clapped and cheered. "Before we go, "Sonic says, "Here's a fun fact. Did you know that our cartoon Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog was originally going to air on NBC Saturday Mornings in 1992? Not only that, Battletoads was going to air after our show!" Tails said, "Then our show got rejected because for some reason, NBC didn't want to do cartoons anymore. Can you imagine if that had come to be? That would be irony after they showed those Mario cartoons on that channel."

"That's enough idle chit chat for now!" said Sonic. "And now the moment you've been waiting for! Here is the start of our episode!" Tails said.

 

The scenes of the exterior of Robotnik's Fortress were shown in black and white. Jaunty 1920's style piano music plays. A caption reads, "HEDGEHOG-EAS CORPUS!" Inside Robotnik's Fortress it shows Dr. Robotnik having a child's like tantrum. Jumping up and down and screaming. A caption reads, "OOOOOHHH! THAT BLASTED HEDGEHOG! WHY! WHY! WHY!" Scampering into Robotnik's main room, the bungling Scratch and Grounder enter as they were pushing and shoving each other.

"NO WAY TIN BREATH! ROBOTNIK WANTS ME TO CHECK ON HIM!"

"DOES NOT! HE REALLY WANTS ME TO SHOW HIS CONCERN!"

Robotnik stomps his foot and screams silently. Scratch and Grounder then submit to him.

"THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY I CAN ELIMINATE AND DEFEAT SONIC!"

Scratch and Grounder shrug at each other until they look out the window and sees a graveyard. Robotnik looks out at the graveyard too. Then turns to insult Scratch and Grounder.

"THESE DEAD PEOPLE BURIED IN THAT GRAVEYARD WOULD BE BETTER HELP TO ME THAN YOU METALLIC MORONS!"

Getting an idea, a light bulb shines over Robotnik's head. Scratch and Grounder's lips move and the captions read,

"ARE YOU THINKING WHAT WE'RE THINKING YOUR WONDERFULNESS! HA HA HA HA!"

Robotnik then shouts, "THIS WAS MY IDEA! NOT YOURS! WHO SAYS YOU GET ALL THE CREDIT FOR IT?!"

Grounder's lips move as he asked the caption reads, "WHAT IS YOUR PLAN TODAY?"

Standing confidently, Robotnik talks for a bit. "WE SHALL BRING THE DEAD BACK TO LIFE!"

"HOW'RE YOU GOING TO DO THAT?" Scratch asked. Robotnik goes over to a phone and talks into it, "HELLO! GIVE ME WES WEASLEY!"
Within seconds..

 

"KNOCK KNOCK!"

 

Scratch and Grounder go to answer it and there was Wes Weasley who walks in and shakes Robotnik's head as he is talking configuratively. Robotnik and Wes Weasley then engage in conversation.

"HIYA PAL! WES WEASLEY AT YOUR SERVICE! WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR TODAY?"

"I WANT SOMETHING THAT CAN BRING BACK THE DEAD!"

Looking around in his suitcase, Wes Weasley pulls out a bottle entitled, "MIRACLE LIFE". Robotnik's Scratch's, and Grounder's eyes light up in delight.

Robotnik pays Wes Weasley then he says,

"ALL YOU NEED TO DO IT DIG UP SOME BODIES, THEN SPRINKLE SOME OF THIS ON THEM!"

"IT'S A DEAL! SCRATCH! GROUNDER!"

Wes Weasley leaves and Scratch and Grounder then stand at attention. Robotnik calls out for his Dumb Bots.

"YES YOUR MEASLEYNESS!"

"GO TO THE GRAVEYARD AND DIG UP SOME BODIES! THEN USE THIS STUFF WES WEASLEY GAVE US!"

"WE WILL OBEY YOU, DR. ROBOTNIK! HA! HA! HA! HA!"

"OFF TO THE GRAVEYARD WE GO, COME ON, SCRATCH!"

Scratch and Grounder both salute Robotnik as they run off to the graveyard. Robotnik wrings his hands in excitement.

"JUST YOU WAIT, HEDGEHOG! MY ARMY OF THE DEAD WILL PUT AN END TO YOUR HEROICS! AH! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!"

 

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The piano music now plays a faster tune. Sonic and Tails were running around. It was night time. Sonic and Tails both talk in silence as they captions appear after.

"IT SURE IS COOL NOT TO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ROBUTTNIK FOR A WHILE, HEY TAILS!"

"THESE PAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN BLISSFUL FOR US, SONIC!"

"YOU BET LITTLE BRO! ROBOTNIK HAS BEEN UNDER THE RADAR FOR A WHILE!"

"LET'S HOPE HE STAYS UNDER A LOW PROFILE FOREVER!"

"IF ONLY THAT WERE TRUE!"

Their running comes to a stop as they see Scratch and Grounder bumble around the graveyard. Sonic and Tails decide to investigate.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY ARE UP TO SONIC?"

"WE CAN ONLY KNOW IT'S NOT GOOD, TAILS!"

Scratch and Grounder find a grave to dig up. Scratch had the bottle of Miracle Life in one hand and a shovel in the other. Grounder had a lantern.

"OKAY GROUNDER. YOU GO AHEAD AND DIG"

"WHY DO I HAVE TO DO ALL THE WORK!"

"I'M OLDER THAT'S WHY!"

Scratch and Grounder are now digging a grave. Sonic and Tails come up with a plan.

"ALL WE NEED TO DO IS SCARE THEM AWAY, TAILS!"

"GREAT IDEA!"

Tails was about to sneeze. Scratch and Grounder have only dug a foot into the dirt. Tails couldn't help himself so he lets out a huge sneeze. Thus scaring Scratch and Grounder away as they were running around in a terrorized frenzy.

The piano music is playing a spooky tune. "WAY PAST COOL TAILS! THE MORE WE SCARE THEM THE BETTER!"

Scratch and Grounder stop running to catch their breaths. Scratch was mad that Grounder was crying.

"GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF YOU BIG BABY!"

"BUT SCRATCH THIS GRAVEYARD IS SCARY!"

Grounder finds himself being grabbed by Scratch backwards. Now they were trying to look for another grave to dig up.

Sonic and Tails were lurking around the graveyard yards away from Scratch and Grounder.

Scratch was now digging the grave. Grounder felt jealous.

"WHY CAN'T I DIG THE GRAVE, SCRATCH?"

"I DON'T TRUST YOU! IT'S BETTER IF I DO IT! I'M DR. ROBOTNIK'S MOST TRUSTWORTHY ROBOT!"

Sonic is now disguised as a night watchman. He uses his speed to run up to the Dumb 'Bots.

"EXCUSE ME! WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS TO BE DIGGING THIS GRAVES?"

"OUR BOSS WANTS US TO CREATE AN ARMY OF THE DEAD TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! ISN'T THAT RIGHT GROUNDER!"

"YES, EXACTLY AND CORRECT, SCRATCH-A-MUNDO!"

Sonic calls out in silence. "WELL I WOULD NOT WANT TO DIG HERE THIS TIME OF NIGHT."

Scratch and Grounder ask.

"WHY NOT?"

Sonic answers, "THIS IS THE TIME WHERE GHOSTS APPEAR!"

Tails has a white sheet over himself and pretends to be a ghost. Scratch and Grounder don't believe Sonic's story until they trip over Tails in the white sheet. Scratch and Grounder see the 'ghost' and scream in horrific fear. Scratch and Grounder find themselves running around the cemetary until they run out of the open gate.

Sonic and Tails scramble to close the gate so Scratch and Grounder could not go back inside. Sonic and Tails high five each other. Now the Dumb Bots were at a walled fence leading to the graveyard.

 

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The piano song starts playing a Honky Tonk style song.

 

Showered and overwhelmed with fear. Grounder was crying that he didn't want to go back into the graveyard. Trying like hell to be brave Scratch tells Grounder they need to go back inside.

"DO WE HAVE TO? I DON'T WANNA SEE ANYMORE SCARY GHOSTS!"

"WHO CARES ABOUT GHOSTS! THAT WON'T STOP US FROM CARRYING OUT ROBOTNIK'S PLAN! NOW GIVE ME A BOOST!"

Attempting to climb over the walled fence it takes Scratch and Grounder about ten minutes to climb over. They end up beating up on one another.

"YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!"

"NO YOU DO! I'M BETTER!"

"NO YOU DO! I'M MORE EFFICIENT!"

"NO YOU DO! YOU'RE THE BIGGEST SCREW UP IN ALL OF MOBIUS!"

"NO YOU ARE!"

After arguing and fighting. Grounder uses his many gadgets to lift Scratch into the graveyard and throw him inside. Scratch turns and makes a look of disgust. Grounder then flies over the walled fence and makes his way back into the graveyard. Sonic and Tails see everything and were very displeased.

"DUDE! THOSE TWO JUST DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP!"

"DON'T WORRY LITTLE BRO! WE'LL SCARE THEM AWAY YET!"

Scratch and Grounder were now digging another grave. Grounder looks at all the tombstones. Their lantern is placed on a turtle.

"THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE BURIED HERE NAMED RIP!"

Scratch yells. Digging at the grave.

"THAT STANDS FOR REST OF PEACE OR SOMETHING YOU BOLT BRAIN!"

Sonic and Tails watch. Scratch and Grounder notice their lantern was gone.

"WHERE'S THAT LIGHT THINGIE HAVE YOU SEEN IT GROUNDER?"

"THINK IT MIGHT'VE......"

Scratch and Grounder see the turtle walk away with the lantern and jump into the air and scream again. Scratch grabs the lantern and sees it was a turtle that had it.

"WHEW! THAT WHERE THE LIGHT WAS. THOUGHT IT WAS ANOTHER GHOST!"

"THIS PLACE IS STILL CREEPY AND KOOKY, SCRATCH!."

Bugs were flying around where Scratch and Grounder were digging. They swat them away with no luck. Scratch kills one of the bugs by clapping.

Sonic and Tails then did a clapping sound from afar that had Scratch and Grounder looking with suspicious fear.

"DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING?"

"I DID!"

Sonic and Tails clap their hands again.

"THERE IT IS AGAIN!"

"HOLD ME!"

Scratch and Grounder hold each other shaking in fright. Getting mad Scratch pushes Grounder onto the grass.

"DON'T GET SO COZY BUSTER!"

Grounder retaliates by kicking Scratch in the crotch.

"HA! THERE!"

Scratch grabs Grounder by the neck.

"WHY I OUGHTA....."

Sonic and Tails clap their hands again. Sonic lets out a howling sound.

"THERE IT IS AGAIN!"

"WHAT'LL WE DO!"

Clapping their hands that has Scratch and Grounder tremble. Sonic gets out some 'chattering teeth' to scare away the Dumb Bots.

"THIS'LL KEEP THEM AWAY!"

"WAY PAST COOL IDEA YOU HAVE SONIC!"

The chattering teeth slowly come to Scratch's and Grounder's direction. One of them pinches Scratch in the ankle.

"GROUNDER! DID YOU DO THAT?"

"I DIDN'T TOUCH YOU SCRATCH!"

"IF YOU DIDN'T WHO DID?"

"I DUNNO!"

 

The piano tune now plays mysterious music.

 

Slowly turning around, Scratch and Grounder see the chattering teeth they end up being chased around the graveyard by the chattering teeth. Running around screaming for help, Scratch and Grounder unknowingly poor the 'Miracle Life' all over the graves thus making the dead come back to life in zombie form.

Scratch and Grounder watch the dead emerge from their graves. The dead corpses frighten the living bejesus out of the two bumbling fools. Running out of the graveyard Scratch and Grounder leave by running into the walled fence leaving Scratch and Grounder sized holes. Sonic and Tails decide to talk to the zombies.

"YO ZOMBIES! I AM YOUR LEADER! HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU DO TO!"

The zombies all look at Sonic then accept him as their boss. Tails shows them a picture of Dr. Robotnik.

"WE WANT YOU TO CHASE THIS DUDE OUT OF TOWN!"

"THINK YOU CAN DO THAT?"

The zombies agree then march their way to Robotnik's Fortress. The zombies are now headed their way to Robotnik's fortress. As soon as Robotnik sees him he is pleased. Assuming Scratch and Grounder had followed through with their plan.

"YES! FINALLY! IT HAS HAPPENED THE DEAD HAVE RISEN! NOW I CAN DO WHAT I DREAMED ABOUT ALL THESE YEARS......NO MORE HEDGEHOG!"

Scratch and Grounder were running toward the front door of Robotnik's Fortress. Robotnik noticed they were scared.

"SCRATCH! GROUNDER! I KNEW YOU'D...."

"HI ROBOTNIK! BYE ROBOTNIK!"

"THAT'S STRANGE! WONDER WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT!"

Robotnik was soon to find out once he sees the zombies were coming for him.

"WHAT IN THE..... NO! NO! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ORDERS FROM ME!"

The zombies chant...

"GET ROBOTNIK! BY ORDER OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!"

Robotnik was astounded that the zombies took orders from Sonic.

"HOW DID THIS.....I CAN'T EVEN......."

The zombies carry off Robotnik, Scratch and Grounder and carry them off. Scratch and Grounder were pleading with apologies.

"SORRY ABOUT THIS YOUR BIG EGONESS!"

"WE TRIED OUR BEST!"

"I....HATE......THAT......HEDGEHOG!"

Sonic and Tails stood by as they watched the zombies. The piano tune changes to victorious style music.

"WE SAVED THE DAY AGAIN! DIDN'T WE TAILS!"

"WAY PAST SONIC!"

Later on, Sonic and Tails put the zombies back in their graves. The effects of the Miracle Life began to ware off.

"WHAT'S NEXT FOR US NOW, SONIC!"

"IT'S LIKE WE ALWAYS SAY! A HERO'S WORK IS NEVER DONE!"

Sonic begins to speed away as Tails faithfully follows getting ready to fly.

"WE ARE......UP.....OVER.....AND GONE!"

"WAIT FOR ME, SONIC!"

Running away from the graveyard, Sonic and Tails run into the moon setting in the sky.

The piano tune now plays the final notes to The Entertainer.

A black screen with a white caption with a box around it reads, "FIN!"

Then it reads, "FILMED IN HOLLYWOOD USA".