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worth doing slowly

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When Destiny thinks about it, it's all covered in a golden haze. She doesn't even know exactly when it happened. Those few months were the good times, and they roll together in her brain, happy and warm and almost indistinguishable.

It was late; so late that it didn't feel like any time at all. Moves was busy but the world outside was quiet and still, the city holding its breath. She'd been drinking but she wasn't drunk. Maybe she was buzzed, just a little, just enough that everything felt good. That was the secret, in the good days. Back then so little was cold and calculated and she ever hardly felt she was using people. She felt good, and she smiled at them and touched them and they felt good, and their good time was her good time, and hers was theirs, an endless feedback loop. Sure it was work, sure it was money, but it was real.

And of course it was real with Ramona too. She didn't have to fake the shiver of excitement when Ramona pushed her bra straps down her shoulders, didn't have to act her sigh of pleasure when she laid her head back into Ramona's cleavage, eyes closed, and Ramona ran her hands down Destiny's torso and plucked teasingly at the band of her panties. That was the best thing about Ramona; she could tell you all the rules and all the tricks, but in the moment you just felt it, went with it, and knew she'd steer you right.

They did it for the clients, of course; they wouldn't have played it that way if the only people they were turning on were themselves. But it never felt anything but natural to Destiny that she should be turned on, that she should melt for Ramona's hands on her.

(She doesn't know why they never did it again. She's pretty sure she started seeing Johnny right after that night, but Johnny wouldn't have given a shit. Might have smiled like a dope and asked if he could watch, but she could have dealt with that. She wouldn't even have had to say yes. But she could never figure out how to ask him, or tell him, or whatever. And somehow she couldn't, with Ramona, if she hadn't even told him. So she guesses that's why.)

Maybe they'd gone in hot and heavy that night. Maybe the client had been attractive, that magic combination of good looking and not a dick; that did happen sometimes. Maybe it had just been one of those times when everything felt a little better than usual.

Whatever it was, they were alone in one of the upstairs rooms, throwing their clothes back on, casual, laughing. And Ramona lifted Destiny's hair from where it was caught under a strap and let it fall to brush her mostly bare shoulders, and Destiny felt a stab of want so pure it startled her. She turned around into Ramona's arms, and whatever Ramona saw on her face she must have liked it, because she leaned down and kissed her, very softly. Destiny made a strangled noise and tried to deepen the kiss, but Ramona smiled into her mouth and pulled back.

“Not the place, baby."

And Destiny wasn't drunk that night, she wasn't, but there must have been something driving her on because she didn't come to her senses. All she did was tangle her fingers through Ramona's and say, “Take me somewhere better then.”

The cab ride didn't break the spell either. The city was deserted around them, a collection of lights in the dark. They didn't speak, but Ramona had her hand on Destiny's thigh, her fingertips just sliding under the edge of her skirt, and Destiny laid her head on Ramona's shoulder and closed her eyes and breathed her in.

They stumbled through Ramona's apartment without turning the lights on. As soon as they were in the bedroom, Destiny scrambled out of her clothes, shoes first. She wasn't thinking about making it hot; she wasn't even thinking about making it different to how she did it in the club. She just – she had to be naked, right away. She hesitated a minute when she saw that Ramona was sitting on the bed, still in her dress, but Ramona just smirked at her.

“You keep going.”

She dropped her things in a heap and climbed into Ramona's lap, and this time Ramona kissed her properly, nothing held back. Her lips were impossibly soft. Destiny kissed her over and over again, licking into her mouth, pulling back to tug her lower lip between her teeth and suck on it, stopping to gasp and tilt her head back when Ramona curled her fingers into her hair and pulled on it, just at the base of her skull.

“Sweet thing,” Ramona murmured, mouthing her way down the side of Destiny's neck. Her hands were on Destiny's hips now, almost burning against her chilled skin as they pulled her in tighter. Ramona kissed her collarbone, her hands sliding under Destiny's ass, urging her to sit up more. She could feel herself flushing as Ramona nuzzled between her breasts, then ran her tongue delicately over her left nipple. She kissed it as it hardened, then closed her teeth around it gently, with an interrogative 'Hmm?' that seemed to vibrate through Destiny's whole body.

“Y-yeah,” she said shakily. “Not too hard.”

Ramona smiled and firmed up the bite until Destiny gasped, then began to work her breasts over thoroughly, alternating small bites and sucking kisses. Destiny planted her hands on Ramona's shoulders and held on, eyes closed, hardly noticing how she was rocking her hips forward. Ramona's fingers dug into her ass, wonderfully strong and steadying. After a minute, Ramona made another of those interrogative noises, and when Destiny looked down at her she gave her a wicked grin.

“Hold on tight.”

And then she wrapped one arm around Destiny's shoulders and one around her thighs and stood straight up with her, turning round to dump her on the bed. Destiny gave a yelp and half a giggle as she landed, kicking out playfully. Ramona caught her by the ankle and pressed a kiss to her instep, then crawled between her legs and put her mouth right where Destiny wanted it most.

At first she just pressed her lips over Destiny's clit as she ran her hands slowly up her thighs; when she pulled her open with both thumbs and swiped her tongue the length of her cunt, Destiny wasn't ready for it, and bucked hard. Ramona raised her head.

“Easy. Just take it.”

(Years later, they're in Ramona's kitchen, having another screaming match over Dawn. And Destiny opens her mouth and then closes it sharply, because the next words out of it were going to be, "Are you fucking her?" And it doesn't matter, God, is that ever not the point, and she has no idea why it nearly exploded out of her like that. So she breathes deep, and squeezes her eyes shut for just a minute, and they make it up until the next damn stupid thing Dawn does.)

Destiny nodded and closed her eyes, fisting one hand into the sheets and the other into her mouth as Ramona went to work again. And she was a goddamn tease, in this as in all things, but it was good, so good. Her tongue was firm and deliberate against Destiny's clit, working her up to the peak and the easing her back a couple of times. The third time, Ramona pulled back again, and then shoved her tongue into Destiny's cunt, fucking her with it as she vibrated a thumb against her clit, and Destiny came from the surprise as much as anything, clenching over and over against that maddening, delicious, not-quite-solid-enough friction.

She took a couple of long, deep breaths before she opened her eyes, coming down slowly. Ramona was watching her, her expression warm and smug and something else Destiny couldn't quite place.

“You good?”

It felt like a loaded question. Destiny sat up quickly, closing the distance between them so she could kiss the taste of herself out of Ramona's mouth and tug on the hem of her skirt.

“Not done yet,” she muttered in between kisses. Ramona only smiled, but she shifted to let Destiny pull the dress off and wrap her arms around her to undo her bra.

“'s harder from this angle,” she complained into Ramona's collarbone, but she got the thing off, and fuck, touching Ramona's breasts like this almost wasn't like sex at all, it was closer to pure awe. “You're beautiful,” she said, pushing one up against her mouth and kissing down over the slope. Ramona chuckled softly.

“We're all beautiful, baby.”

Destiny didn't answer, just slid her other hand into Ramona's panties and found her clit with one finger, and Ramona's breath hitched just a little and suddenly it was sex and Destiny was hungry all over again. She pushed Ramona down, pulled her panties off and knelt between her legs, leaning forward to kiss her stomach as she pressed two fingers inside her.

(When she thinks about Ramona - which she does, more than she should - she remembers this moment overlayed with that first time on the roof, when Ramona wrapped her in her furs and pulled her in close. Being hyperaware of her skin, her breathing, her scent; fresh sweat and the last, sweet, lingering dry down of her perfume. Being enfolded in her warmth. Taken in.)

She stayed there for just a minute, curling and uncurling her fingers, then she took Ramona's wrist and dragged it slowly across her body towards her cunt.

“Let me see you?”

Ramona nodded, eyes closed, and as she touched herself Destiny rocked into her, barely pulling out, just giving her a slow, steady rhythm as she watched her face, her breasts, her moving hand. When Ramona finally tightened around her with a moan, Destiny felt like her whole world tightened too, to just her two fingers and Ramona pulsing around them, hot and strong and all-encompassing. It took her a long moment before she could pull out.

Ramona settled back against the pillows.

“It's late. God, it's so late. Might even be morning.” Her voice sounded half asleep already.

Destiny suddenly wasn't sure what to do, and sat back on her heels. Ramona opened her eyes, and quirked an eyebrow at her.

“Hey, you want me to – ?”

Ramona shook her head and pulled her back down, dragging the sheets up to cover them.

“Stay.” She draped an arm over Destiny's stomach, and pressed her nose into her shoulder. “Of course stay.” Destiny didn't notice when she fell asleep.

~

The next day, she borrowed a pair of shorts and a hoodie and some sneakers that were only slightly too big, and she kissed Ramona goodbye on the corner of her mouth, warm and fond.

“This was great,” she said, “We should probably do it again sometime.”

“Probably,” Ramona agreed, curling her arm around Destiny's shoulder for just a minute and squeezing before letting her go.

(They never did.)