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That Damn test.

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“Language Dean.”

Cas teases softly,

But before I could respond Cas pulls me into a heart melting kiss,

And all thoughts of retort leave me mind.



" You were placed into the little category."


The feeling of free falling, 

Loss for breath like the air was sucked out of my lungs,

Vision clouding over like tunnels,

Grasping for support to stop the fall but finding none. 


The sun danced through the living room window, 

As the sound of hands rummaging through cabinets drifted from the kitchen.

"What was that little one?"

The sound of that soothing voice, gently luring my head back above water, banishing all my fears like gentle waves dancing on my soul.

The low volume of the cartoon playing on the tv, melted in with the busy noises drifting from the kitchen. The bright flashes of color distracted my eyes, while my mind continued to wander.



Don't run up the stairs you'll kill yourself!!”


The slip of my foot on the steps, the sudden feeling of fear was overwhelmed by the feeling of absolute relief. The relief however vanished when my hand caught the railing without my permission.


The sound of Cas humming to himself overpowered the surrounding noise, like my ears were tuned into the sound of that deep baritone voice.



You're alright Dean.

You're doing such a good job for me Bee,

I’m so proud of you.”


Warmth surrounded me like the sun was embracing me and melting away all my sins, Causing me to feel true peace for the first time in my life.


And that scared me.


The smell of roasted chicken filled the air, wafting around the open space and filling my nose with the promise of dinner.


















The feeling of my body acting without my permission, limbs flopping around and a searing pain in my head as my mind was split in two, killing itself and wiping away any happiness I have ever felt. My body was on fire and my mind was a war zone.


I was going to die.


The living room was basked in a blanket of warmth and home, as Cas glided across the tile kitchen floor like an angel in the clouds.


“I'll be little for you.”


The words left my mouth like lead scraping on my vocal cords and ripping at my tongue. The feeling once they left however was revolutionary, I was floating high above the trauma and watched in awe as it crumbled and vanished under Cas's blue gaze.


The sound of a timer being set rang through the house like a chorus of church bells. My body shifted on the couch, sock covered feet tucking under sweatpant clad legs.


“I think that your very brave for trusting me with your little Dean.


And I can't express how grateful I am to be able to have this opportunity with you.”


And just like a Damn, all my resolve broke and with it the water flowed out washing over me and cleansing my soul with a warm electric current of hope.


Glass plates were being stacked on top of each other, as the Man in the kitchen rushed to get dinner ready for the soon arriving guests.


“What are you saying?

That I'm Old Dean?"



You said that yourself.”


The light swirling feeling of happiness danced in my gut, as the ease of our banter settled over the kitchen.


This was the moment I realized I was a lost on Cas.


There was silence for a split second before the sound of footfall drew near to my spaced out form.


"He fell,


Not only for the fight of good,

But for love."


This was the moment I realized that I wasn't lost,

But the moment I realized that I was found.


Found by a man with a soul just as broken as my own.

Found by a man that felt that he had nothing to lose and everything to give.


We were just two broken souls,

Who were no longer lost and wandering alone in the woods.


Just two broken halves,

Who found shelter in each other.


The sound of Cas singing loudly finally cut through the veil of sentimental feelings and flashbacks.


I shook my head with a whip of blonde hair and blinked the haze away from green eyes, until they finally settled on a blue gaze and wide gummy smile.


"Happy birthday to you."

The low vibrato swept over the room,

As Cas approached me with light steps and soft eyes.


The realization of what was happening hit me like the snap back of a rubber band. 


I sat up quickly,

Tanned palms pushing against plush cushions,

As I shook my head quickly in protest.



Hey no-"


"Happy birthdaaaayyy."



I whined out, 

Hands pushing at the tan coat labels.


"I thought we promised no singing."


Cas only smiled wider,

Eyes crinkling at the corners,

As he continued singing the ridiculous tune,

Causing me to pout and sink back into the couches light cushions.


"Happy birthday dear Deaaannn."


I huffed and rolled my eyes hoping that my bratty attitude was hiding the fact that I was melting like candle wax on the inside.


The couch dipped under the weight of Cas's knee,

As he leaned his forehead to rest against my own.

Blue sunk down into green as Cas rested one hand on my thigh and the other on the soft skin of my cheek.


"Happy birthday to you."

The soft hum of words was spoken against my plush bottom lip,

His breath melding with my own,

As his smile pulled my own lips up at the ends.


The air was tight with tension as neither of us moved or looked away from the other.


"You a dork Daddy."


The sweet sound of my little voice immediately distinguished all tension in the room as Cas grinned down at me before attacking my check with kisses.


I giggled loudly,

Head falling backwards as shaky hands tired to pat away the intruder who's lips were smacking all over my face and neck.








Cas laughed in reply and instead of stopping decided to deliver a thousand more kisses on my already kissed out face.


Giggles rang in the air like bells,

As Cas tickled and kissed all over my face until I had no more fight or breath left in me.




I gulped in a lungful of air,

As I weekly patted Cas's ruffled black hair,

That resembled the fluffed out wings of a happy crow.



No more.

White flag,

M tappin out."


Cas backed away instantly,

Giving a shaky laugh,

And wild eyed Stare.


"I win."


I rolled my eyes with a huff.




 Good job old man."


I pushed myself to sit up only for Cas's hand to pull me back down below him.


I whined and pouted up at Cas, 

With my best puppy dog eyes.


"You're a mean man Casitel."


Cas pretended to be hurt by this,

As one hand came up to grasp at his suit covered heart.


"Ouch my feelings Dean."


I smiled despite myself.


Cas leaned back off the couch and rose to his feet with a wide smile and grace of a man up to no good.


I narrowed my eyes,

And tilted my head to the side,

As I watched Cas watch me.


"So I'm guessing because I'm such a "meanie"  that means you don't want any pie?"



My legs admittedly scrambled to stand.


"Why didn't you just start with that?"


I was off the couch in a blink of an eye,

Leaving Cas alone in the living room.

My feet smacked against the floor as Cas's voice traveled after me.


"Dean you better leave some for the guests!

 Everyone should be arriving soon!"


I huffed out a frustrated groan as I tried to open the pie lid,

But the sweat of my palms made opening it a living nightmare.


I watched with wide hopeful eyes as Cas strode into the kitchen,

Bare feet lightly smacking against the tiled floor.


Cas shot me a smug smile as he quickly and efficiently peeled the plastic top off the pie.


I never thought this would be my life.


I watched with a dopey smile as Cas carefully cut out a piece of pie for me.


That I would ever have someone like Cas.


Cas turned the tap on and gently rubbed the crumbs off the silver blade.


Someone to wipe away my tears,

Someone to cut my pies.

Someone to laugh with me,

And Someone to comfort me through the good and bad times.


Can gently places the small slice of Apple pie on a star wars plastic plate,

So careful,

Like this was a task asked by God himself.


And to think this all started because a stick up the ass cop, a government required test and a bad trip to a dive bar.


Cas slides the pie across the counter before looking up to meet my eyes.



He asks smile shy but eyes all knowing.


And to think that I meet this fallen angel of a man at the worst time of my life.


I don't answer Cas,

Instead I pull him into a warm embrace,

My head burrowing into the crook of his neck,

As my hands clench at the bunched material at the back of his coat.


I hate to say this,


Cas pressed a smile into the top of my sandy hair,

His large warm hands running soothing circles into the bend of my back,

As his lightly kisses promises of forever onto the top of my head.


But I'm so grateful for that damn test.


~The end~