"Ochako-chan, do you know how pretty and nice you are?" Izuku coos, nuzzling his cheek up against her as he attempts to climb onto her lap like an overgrown child.
Uraraka giggles. "I do, but tell me more anyway, Deku-kun."
"Fucking hell." Katsuki groans in the distance. "I'd capped his drink at fucking three so who the fuck—?!" He’d had only leave Izuku alone for ten minutes and the next thing he knows Izuku snuggling up to Uraraka and half of their classmates already.
"It's our long waited reunion." Mina bumps his shoulder playfully. "Leave him alone, killjoy."
"He gets stupid when he's drunk," Katsuki seethes in his seat as he watches Izuku croon love notes into Uraraka's throat. He’d never met a worst lightweight then Deku, who become some kind of demented affectionate monster.
"You're just the best and so lovely! A great hero too!" Izuku insists, tilting so far into her arms that she nearly fall over if Iida wasn't there to hold the two of them up. He sighs happily in his makeshift cocoon of extra limbs. "I'm so lucky that we're friends."
Uraraka smiles and pats his cheek affectionately. "Me too."
Katsuki never understood how Izuku can stay coherent, formulate near perfect sentences, when he's drunk but is reduced to the mental capacity of a needy hapless child. It's the biggest fucking joke ever.
"Let's get some water in you," Iida says, trying to pry him from Uraraka's person, but he refuses to budge.
Izuku lights up at the sound of his voice. "Tenya-kun!" he says excitedly, and leans pass Uraraka's shoulder to shove his face right up to Iida. "You're amazing too! So smart and capable, the best class rep we ever had!"
Iida's lips twitches. "I see."
"You guys are the best friend! The absolute bestest," he cries out, lips wobbling precariously as he makes the effort to bury them in a big hug. "I don't deserve any of you!"
"Here come the fucking the deluge of tears now," Katsuki murmurs under his breath as Mina laughs hysterically next to him.
"Drunk Deku is the best Deku," she hums, and then because she's such a bitch, she hollers at the group. "I love you, Deku-kun!"
Izuku, who was trying to drown his friends in his tears, stops and looks back at them. All bright eyes and a beatific smile on his face. "I love you too, Mina! You're just as beautiful as the stars! Kirishima-kun really hit the jackpot with you!"
Mina flashes him a thumb up and a grin, before turning back to Katsuki. "Seriously, best Deku ever," she says gleefully. "My ego is so fed right now."
"Fuck you," Katsuki grumbles, gripping the edge of the wooden table until he can hear it slightly give away under his palm.
Tororoki gets up from his seat and approaches the group cautiously. "Midoriya, you should let them go now," he comments. "I think they might need some air to breathe."
"Shouto-kun," Izuku says, dropping his so-call bestest friends for a new face. "I didn't forget you either!" He launches himself at Todoroki, clinging to his front and gushes feverishly, "You're so handsome and smell so good! 12/10, would walk into the sun for you—"
"Yea, okay, that's enough." Katsuki rises from his seat and stomps over to Izuku as Mina's annoying cackles follow him.
Todoroki's dumb face doesn't even change at all under a flood of Izuku's praise, but there's an ever so slightly twitch in the corner of his mouth. "You're drunk, Midoriya," he says fondly, but doesn't pull away from Izuku's grabby hands.
He reaches out, seizes Izuku by the back of his shirt, and hauls him away from Todoroki fucking Shouto and every fucking waste of space in this room. He places him in a corner away from the crowd while everyone else pretend they're not enjoying another drunk Deku's episode.
Izuku blinks, a little dazed but then a smile blooms across his face in recognition. "Kacchan! Where have you been? I miss you so, so much!" Face flushed, eyes bright, and his mouth an
"Yea?" Katsuki says dryly. "I just couldn't tell by the way you attached yourself and confessed your undying love to half the people in this room."
Izuku pouts, swaying forward slightly. "But I love you the bestest!" he claims. "To the moon and back! As deep as the ocean! And to the far edge of the universe!"
"Poetic," Katsuki deadpans.
Izuku sulks. "I mean every word!" he insists, pressing closer to Katsuki. As though dropping a secret in his ears, but Izuku’s volume remains the same, he not-whispers, "Don't tell anyone because I don't want to be mean or anything, but you're my absolute favorite, Kacchan."
Katsuki drags his hand down his face as a chorus of laughter from behind them echoes through the room.
"You're so embarrassing," he says, feeling the heat rises from the pit of his stomach.
"Love is not embarrassing!" Izuku declares in an offended huff. "It's beautiful and sweet and heartwarming so take it back!"
"No," he asserts. Plain. Simple. Unmovable.
But then—Izuku's eyes glisten, shoulders hunch over, and his lips wobble. Katsuki stares at him in horror as Izuku starts to cry. "Take it back, take it back now!" He pummels Katsuki's chest. There's no trace of his OFA behind his fists, but fuck do they hurt anyway.
Katsuki catches Izuku's fists in his palm. Exasperated, tired, and fucking whipped that he is, he says, "Fine, fine, I take it back. It's not embarrassing, okay?"
"Really?" Izuku sniffs, all wet eyes and hopeful smile. "Then gimme a kiss so I know you mean it."
"God, you're so fucking annoying," Katsuki grumbles.
"Kiss! Kiss! I want my kiss, Kacchan," he whines, tugging at Katsuki's hands like a needy child.
Katsuki's flushes because he knows there are eyes on them. Fucking too many eyes as they watch Katsuki get publicly ridicule by his own fucking boyfriend. God, fucking Deku. "Not right now," he mumbles. "At home, alright?"
Izuku's eyes narrow, determination set in those green eyes, and he breaks from Katsuki's hold to push up and kisses Katsuki for himself. Slobby, yearning and so full of love. Kacchan, Kaccchan, Kacchan, the kiss says. Begs. Whines insistently.
It's overwhelming and fuck is Katsuki hungry for it.
His hand wraps around Izuku's back to drag him closer in by the nape till their chest to chest and there's no room for anybody else. He kisses back like a starving beast, pawing at every inch of Izuku's body. He wants to ravage, to feast, to, to—he slips a hand under Izuku's shirt.
"W-wait, stop, stop!" Izuku reels back and shoves Katsuki off of him. Face red with shame, he wails, nearly inconsolable, "Don't touch me! I have a boyfriend!"
And finally his last thread of sanity snaps. "I'm your boyfriend, stupid!" Katsuki snarls, because drunk Deku is the absolute fucking worst for blue-balling him. "And you kissed me first!"