Jimin stares at the worn-out paper of receipt he’s been holding for what seems like an hour, fingers fidgeting and breath a bit shaky as tears dared to exit his eyes. Written with his neat handwriting the silliest words one man could ever write.
“ December 13, 2019
If by the year 2029, best of friends Jimin and Jungkook fails to get married or at least be in a relationship, then they are ought to meet at SNU's Christmas Concert and marry each other immediately the day after.
Note: If this works out, please get reminded that maybe after all these years, you two are the ones meant for each other.
Park Jimin & Jeon Jungkook”
But what life gives you is unexpected and uncertain. That’s why Jimin finds himself alone and best friend-less for the past nine or ten years, who knows.
It was freshman year of college, when Jimin moves in to a dorm minutes away from the university because Jimin can’t afford to take public transportation every day and stay on the road for at least 2 hours because of the transportation crisis the mass has to suffer from because of the negligence of the shitty government who couldn’t care less about its people.
He was met by a shy, timid boy, fixing his bags, who barely gave Jimin a smile when he opened the door of their tight but manageable room. He still gives him a greeting then proceeded to fix his things as well.
It took a week for Jimin to gain a barely audible “good morning” from his roommate, one morning when he woke up to pee and his roommate is already making breakfast in the tiny space of their “kitchen”. Jimin didn’t have classes that day.
“I’m Jimin, by the way.” Jimin flashes a smile to his roommate, before he situates himself back to his bed and continue his slumber. He was already falling asleep when he heard him talk or mumble something like “Jungkook”, but Jimin was too drowsed in slumber to care.
Another week has passed, the dorm is still quiet as ever. In other news, university is quite fine. Jimin’s not having a hard time with his schedule so far and his professors are not as terror as he was told and as he expected them to be. Quite frankly, it was also the day he learned that his roommate, Jungkook, is an architecture major. He wouldn’t know if he didn’t see him making his first plate in the garden at the back of Jimin’s class building.
“Can I see your hand?” Jimin hears a voice talk behind him, discarding his earphones, and looking up to see Jungkook standing with eyes wide and faint shade of pink on his cheeks, nibbling on his lower lip.
“Can I see your hand?” Jungkook gestures at the sketchpad he’s holding and Jimin is confused but complied to Jungkook’s odd request.
“Do you mind if I draw it? Our professor asked us to draw something very random.”
“And that is my hand?” Jimin raised a brow, and Jungkook’s face flushed red. He closed his eyes, feeling a lot more embarrassed and Jimin grins at him. “I’m messing with you. It’s okay.” Jimin chuckles, thrusting his hand forward and Jungkook just cleared his throat. Jimin swears he can hear Jungkook’s heartbeat, and it’s beating loud and fast.
And that’s probably the first time they exchanged more than ten words to each other.
Since the little can-I-draw-your-hand encounter, Jimin noticed how Jungkook became less tensed or surprised when a word is spoken inside their room. And they also have had few dinners together, taking turns on who’s cooking. Jimin learned Jungkook’s best dish to cook is ramyeon and he also makes one of the tastiest mandus that Jimin has ever had.
When they see each other on campus, Jimin would be internally surprised when Jungkook would initiate a greeting, in which is a gesture he appreciates. He also has learned in his head, based on the conversations they have had, that Jungkook is an introvert, hence the limited interactions with other people. He’s quiet most of the time and he focuses a lot on everything he does, as to what Jimin has observed. But despite the complete opposite in their personalities, Jimin has learned to respect each other’s spaces.
It was a week before August ends when an awfully handsome guy suddenly sat across Jimin in the library while he studies for a quiz.
“You’re Jimin, right? Jungkook’s roommate?” Jimin, confused but now obnoxiously blushing, slowly nods his head and the man before him grins widely.
“Perfect! I’m Kim Taehyung, Jungkook’s blockmate slash friend, his birthday is on Friday and we wanted to surprise him. You are invited by the way, but we need you to do something for us, is that okay? He told us you don’t have classes on Fridays, unless you already have plans?” Jimin’s brain suddenly gets overloaded with information he didn’t know he had to intake.
First, Jungkook’s birthday is in two days. Second, he gets to be a part of the birthday surprise. Third, Jungkook tells his other friends about Jimin? Fourth, Jungkook knows his schedule? Fifth, Jungkook tells his other friends about Jimin? , no more fifth thought, the thought of Jungkook telling his other friends about Jimin is stuck on replay like a broken record in Jimin’s brain.
“Do you have plans?” Taehyung snaps him out of his thoughts, and he blinks in response, trying to come back to his senses. “No, I- uhm, I’m free for that day.” He said, brows still knitting, and Taehyung’s boxy grin grows even wider.
“Great! We need you to distract him, ask him to come with you or whatever, while we set up in your dorm. Oh, can you please leave your key under the mat or something? Oh, and lastly, pretend you forgot his birthday, that’s what we’ll do starting tomorrow.” Taehyung explains and Jimin’s brain yet stopped to process the information given to him.
He didn’t have to pretend, because if it wasn’t for Taehyung talking to him, he wouldn't know it would be Jungkook’s birthday in two days.
The dorm was quiet, as Jimin burns holes to their ceiling still thinking about the perfect excuse to get Jungkook out of the dorm. Yes, it is already Jungkook’s birthday. And yes, he might have earned few bags under his eyes since he hasn’t had much proper sleep yet because he has been thinking about the same question since the night before. He might have taken a few naps in between but he’d immediately open his eyes and gets haunted by Taehyung's words and then finds difficulty in going back to sleep.
He hears shuffling on the bed beside him but he ignores it.
“You’re up early.” Jungkook comments with his deep, sleepy voice and Jimin ignores the beat of his heart when he heard it. “Can’t sleep?” Jungkook asks, standing up from his bed and lazily dragged his feet to their bathroom. When he walked out, Jimin just nods, giving him an answer to his previous question. Within minutes, he hears the even breathing of his roommate as Jungkook falls back to sleep.
Jimin sighs and attempts, key word attempt, to sleep as well.
But after hours of pretending to, now annoyed more than sleepy, he opened his eyes and decided to make breakfast. Maybe his brain needs fuel to start functioning again and give him his answer because he only had few hours left to do his little mission.
While Jimin was waiting for the bread to toast, Jungkook greets him with a good morning and a smile. Hair disheveled and voice still sleepy. Jimin itched to greet him a happy birthday but he stopped himself and simply gave a smile in return.
They were eating their breakfast in silence and Jimin curses at himself when Jungkook noticed his uneasiness.
“Everything okay?” Jungkook looks at Jimin, concern filling his eyes, and Jimin feels shit for doing that. “Yes, no. I mean, yes. Everything’s okay. I just need a little help. I think. If that’s okay with you.” Jimin frowns, staring down at his coffee.
“Sure, what is it?” Jungkook then asks calmly. “Uhm, I need help with my history homework. We need to look for primary and secondary sources in a museum, and I’m clueless with what that meant. Can you guide me in a museum or something? Only if you don’t have plans for today.” Which is not a lie. Jimin actually have that homework but it wasn’t due in two weeks.
“Sure. I have a lot of time to spare.” Jungkook simply smiles at him and Jimin suddenly feels triumphant but gets distracted with Jungkook's very very beautiful smile.
Just before they left in the afternoon, Jimin shoots Taehyung a text telling him they’re already leaving the dorm and he has left the keys under the mat.
“Here, this one’s a primary source.” Jungkook points at a clay pot made by an indigenous tribe that was used for the early civilization’s activity in everyday life. Jimin snaps a photo and they continue to roam around the national museum.
“A secondary source could be a biography. They have short biographies of the national artists in the next room, you can use that.” Jungkook tells Jimin, in which he simply nods in reply. Jungkook has been a great help. He explains some of the artworks he has knowledge about and he tries his best to answer some of Jimin’s questions. When they both get enchanted by a piece, they’d both stop and read the description provided and they would discuss and share their own opinions.
Today, Jimin learned that Jungkook really has the love for art. Other than his magical hands that draws the wonders on his plates that Jimin sees he creates in some nights; he goes beyond what one piece has to offer. From technical beauty down to its meaning, Jungkook appreciates every bit of it.
Jimin thinks this day is a blessing in disguise because today he learned a lot more about Jungkook, more than distracting him as his friends prepare a small surprise for him. Jimin almost forgot that the surprise was the main reason they’re in the national museum together in the first place.
Jimin has completed his requirements and they were nearing the end of the museum when his phone buzzed and Taehyung has told him they were almost finished with their decorations.
“Do you still need anything else? We can go back to the dorms now.” Jungkook speaks. “No! I mean- we can-uhm, we can grab some late lunch? If that’s alright?” Jungkook’s doe eyes goes wide with Jimin’s energy and he awkwardly laughed at him.
“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked him, brows knitted but a smile played on his lips. “Yes, sorry. I mean for scaring you.” Jimin waves him off, pink tinting his chubby cheeks.
They were waiting in line to get their orders when Jungkook revealed to Jimin that today is his birthday.
“I have a secret to tell you.” Jungkook whispers behind him, warm breath tickling Jimin’s nape. He just hums in response. “Today is my birthday.” Jimin doesn’t know how to react, does he lie or just reveal it to Jungkook that he knows because one thing that Jimin is bad at is, of course, at lying.
It took him minutes, when they were already enjoying their sandwiches when Jimin then revealed to Jungkook that he knew it was his birthday today.
“Let me explain, okay? Please don’t get mad.” Rather than surprised, Jungkook is amused at Jimin’s revelation and so he let him explain.
“I feel bad for lying to you, to be honest. Earlier today when you saw me awake, I haven’t had any sleep because I was too busy thinking about a perfect excuse to get you out of the dorm.” Jimin starts, blood rushing to his cheeks, feeling more and more embarrassed at seconds pass by. He can’t even look at Jungkook straight in the eyes instead he made a staring competition with his drink.
“Though, today wasn’t a full lie. I really did need help for my assignment and I’m still going to ask you, nevertheless. And don’t be mad at me, please. I learned a lot from you today.” Jimin pouts.
“It’s just that, your friends are preparing a little surprise for you right now, that's why I’ve been buying your time.” Jimin then hides his face to his hands and he hears Jungkook laugh. He’s laughing.
“No, Jiminie. It’s okay, I’m not mad.” Jungkook reaches for his hands, removing it gently. Deeper pink tints his skin when Jungkook calls him that. “I kind of figured it out because they have been ignoring me. And I saw you leave the key under the mat, I knew.” Jungkook chuckles, squeezing Jimin’s hand.
“Please don’t tell them I told you. Please, they have been putting their efforts so much since the past few days. Please act all surprised later. Please.” Jimin pleads and Jungkook continued to laugh at him.
But he did what he was told. Later that day, when they went back to the dorm and the three of Jungkook’s friends were there, he did act surprised. When Jungkook’s friends were hugging him and Jimin stands at the back, smiling at them, he shoots Jimin a wink.
That day, they had their first secret.
It didn’t take that long for them to unfold more pages of each other. They’d have breakfast and reveal more about each other’s lives. In the campus, now knowing each other’s schedule by heart, they’d have lunch together and talk some more. And in the evening, whoever gets home first would cook dinner and talk even more. They’d still share a bit more of information just before they go to sleep and repeat everything. They’d help each other out with their homework, Jimin would model for Jungkook’s photography minor and Jungkook would help Jimin review using the neat flashcards he made. Jimin also now gets to hangout with Jungkook and his three other friends – Taehyung, Hoseok, and Namjoon.
It was the night before Jimin’s birthday, he was preparing for his Microbiology finals the whole day, and Jungkook was out as well to finish a plate. When it was time for him to sleep, and Jungkook is still not yet back, he sighs and gets drunk in slumber.
Few hours later, he feels a hand lightly shaking his arm. He groans but it didn’t stop. When he slowly opened his eyes, scratching it with his fist, he meets Jungkook’s face.
“Happy birthday.” Jungkook whispers, smiling to him. Jungkook then slowly thrusted his hand holding a cupcake with a little-too-big candle on top to Jimin’s face. “I lost track of time and all of the cake shops were already closed. Sorry.” Jungkook shyly chuckles and Jimin bolts to sit on his bed.
“You just got home?” Jimin asked, worried.
“Well, yeah. But that’s not the point. Blow your candle.” Jungkook shakes Jimin’s worries off. “Don’t forget to make a wish.” Jungkook says excitedly and Jimin just rolled his eyes.
Little did Jungkook know, Jimin wished for him to be his best friend forever.
Rule number one, never fall in love with your best friend. Rule number two, follow rule number one.
And with Jimin ignoring the rule, he ended up breaking not only his friendship with Jungkook, but their fight also affected his relationship with Taehyung, Hoseok, and Namjoon. After all these years, Jimin almost tried to gain them back, almost. But he has lost all of his courage to do so because up to this day, he still gets confused with the actual reason why he and Jungkook fought in the first place. Was it really because Jungkook will leave for good and he didn’t tell Jimin? Or was it because Jimin broke rule number one?
They dread the weeks during midterms and finals. One, because both of them are so busy and neither of them shared any words to each other, or even looked at each other because they were reviewing. And two, the reshuffling of schedules made it hard for them to actually see each other in the dorm awake or present. They’d either get home to each other sleeping or one is out to comply to an academic requirement.
But when summer came and since both of them are from the same hometown, they decided to go home at the same time. Saying their goodbyes at the train station, for the first time after almost a year of being together, they felt like they were back to their old stranger-to-each-other selves.
When it ended, and they met at the train station again, ready to face another academic year, Jungkook learned that Jimin has gotten a boyfriend, and he didn’t know why that same night, he couldn’t sleep at the thought of another man sharing a space with him in Jimin’s mind.
Nothing much changed between them, or so they convince themselves. Sometimes they’d fall into a tensed awkward silence but neither of them would dare to talk about it. So they just brush it off and get on with their Jimin & Jungkook duo selves.
It wasn’t until one night, when Jungkook was making his finals plate when Jimin came home after being gone for almost the whole day, crying and wanting to be cuddled.
“He said he can’t handle long distance relationship.” Jimin speaks quietly and Jungkook runs a hand through Jimin’s hair. “Then he’s not worth it.” His comment was harsh and probably was half biased but Jimin didn’t deserve to cry.
“You can still talk to him, after a few days though. See if he can still change his mind. But if he gives the same answer, I think you can let it go.” But of course, he’s still Jimin’s best friend, and he still needs to give a rational answer to his best friend’s need.
“Yeah, I can do that.” Jimin sniffed, head leaning closer to his chest.
A month later, Jimin has completely got rid of his now ex-boyfriend, and whenever he gets reminded by the tears he spent on the guy, he gags for being too shallow. Jimin just finished his last class and was craving for Jungkook’s ramyeon. He already sent his best friend a text but still hasn’t received a reply so he assumed he was still in class. But what waits for him when he opened their room’s door is Jungkook having a hot makeout session with Mingyu, who Jimin recalls is one of Jungkook’s blockmate.
The two were flushed, and mostly embarrassed for being caught but Jimin had a stifled laugh wanting to leave his mouth the whole night.
Jungkook still cooked ramyeon, despite Jimin’s suggestion to leave the dorm so they can continue their steamy activity but Jungkook insisted. Mingyu apologized but Jimin just laughed at him. They ate their ramyeon in silence, and Jimin would catch himself laughing at the tensed atmosphere and the two would just look at him, even more embarrassed. When Mingyu left, Jimin teased Jungkook the whole night in which he just gained a few middle fingers from his best friend.
Jungkook is the type to invest so much when he likes someone. He would do anything and everything for you because he’s sweet like that. On some days, Jimin would find it ridiculous when Taehyung reveals it to him that Jungkook would take a few more hours in class to finish Mingyu’s plates. Sometimes he would hear Jungkook arriving late at night because of his dates and would still have tasks to do for a course, and still, he’d be the one to make Mingyu’s as well.
One night, when Jimin was up to study for an exam that he’s taking in the afternoon of the next day, it was already half past twelve when Jungkook came home. He merely said hi, as he readies to finish his review. Jungkook has gained a lot more bags under his eyes and he was less lively recently. When Jimin turned to watch Jungkook’s actions, he realized he’ll still be up to finish two plates that he paused doing one night because Mingyu barged in to their dorm, high from marijuana, wanting Jungkook’s touch.
Knowing Jungkook’s schedule and he has classes in seven hours, Jimin sighed and choose to speak.
“I think you should rest even for a few minutes.” He says, standing up from his chair, putting back his notes to his backpack one by one. “’m fine.” Jungkook replies.
“Look at you, Kook. You barely have color on your skin. Go get some sleep.” Jimin didn’t mean to be annoying, really.
“I said I’m fine, Jimin. This is due later; I can’t afford to get some sleep .” His voice raises, mocking Jimin’s tone. Offended, Jimin rolled his eyes and angrily pushed his chair, creating a loud thud. He was just concerned. He stomps his way to his bed, not sparing Jungkook another glance. He hears his best friend groan a ‘fuck’.
That was the first time he slept with a heavy heart because of his best friend.
The dorm was too silent that it’s deafening. Jimin has chosen to do everything in other places but their room. He eats outside, reviews in a library, he makes use of his time doing other things and go back to the dorm when he knows Jungkook’s already asleep. It’s been two weeks since their argument but Jimin is growing tired thinking about it so most likely he will eventually just let it go, he wouldn’t care if Jungkook would talk to him or not.
Sleepy and tired, he struggled to unlock their door. He was greeted by the familiar smell of ramyeon as he sees Jungkook shuffling in the small space of their kitchen, he rolls his eyes internally, as much as he doesn't want to see the lovebirds tonight because he's just not really in the mood, he was surprised to see the area empty but Jungkook. There were two bowls of ramyeon waiting at the table and Jimin feels his stomach grumble but he ignores it and just drags himself to his bed.
"Hey." He hears Jungkook call and he doesn't know if he's hearing it right. He slowly peaks at his side and Jungkook stands there, hands in his sweats' pockets, looking down at his feet.
"I figured out you were reviewing all day and maybe you haven't had proper dinner so I made us some ramyeon if you'd like–," Jimin, without another heartbeat, flings his arm around Jungkook, hiding his face to the crook of his best friend's neck. He smells so good, Jimin missed this.
"I'm sorry for being dumb." Jimin feels Jungkook wrap his arms around his waist, squeezing him.
"I'm sorry for pushing your buttons." Jimin mumbles to Jungkook's neck. "I miss you, Jimin. I love you. Let's not fight again." Jungkook runs a hand to Jimin's back in which the smaller just nods in response.
They eat their midnight snack catching up on each other as if they haven't seen each other for months. Jungkook has also revealed that he and Mingyu has broken up, even if they didn't actually have an actual official label.
Jungkook then asks Jimin if he wants to watch Coco and Jimin agreed only to the request of cuddling Jungkook. Minutes later they find themselves bundled up on Jungkook's single bed, and halfway through the movie, slumber spares Jimin a visit and within seconds he's asleep.
He didn’t know if he was just drunk with sleep or he actually felt lips press on to his forehead that comes with a whisper of goodnight.
Jimin didn't know Jungkook and Mingyu's relationship had so much impact to the former as few days have already passed and Jungkook's suddenly whining to Jimin how he can't seem to move on.
"We're blockmates, it's so awkward." Jungkook pouts and Jimin just rolls his eyes, thank god his best friend didn't see him since he was facing his back.
Jimin doesn't know why there's a bitter taste at the tip of his tongue whenever Jungkook and Mingyu's relationship gets brought up. It's also kind of unfair since Jungkook has always been there for him when he was in the same situation just a month ago.
"Just don't look at his way, be with Tae at all times." Jimin finishes fixing his bed and then moves to the kitchen to prepare their lunch. "I already bought tickets for the university's Christmas concert." Jungkook drags himself to the kitchen as well, still pouting.
"Sell it, I don't know." Jimin rolls his eyes at him, this time he makes sure Jungkook sees it. "Yeah, I'll probably just do that." Then he sighs.
But later on that same day, Jimin finds himself with Jungkook, on the floors of their dorm, nursing their second bottle of soju. The outside blares a muffled noise of bands playing but they couldn't care less when Jungkook decided that they should just stay in and drink the night away.
They used the cash they got from selling the tickets to buy alcohol. Jimin didn't like the idea of drinking within the school premises but who cares now, at least two out of five people in that concert is probably already high.
"Jiminie, I think–I think we should make a pact." Jungkook hiccups. Jungkook is a light drinker, he gets drunk with a bottle of a light alcohol, what more of a hard liquor. On the other hand, Jimin is the complete opposite, learning a lot at such a young age from his favorite uncle really has its perks, now that they're in college.
"I think you should stop drinking now." Jimin lays on the floor, kicking a bag of chips.
"N-no. No, Minie. We should make a pact. Wait, I'll–I'll get a piece of paper and pen." Jungkook stumbles to get up and then rummages through his study table. He sees the receipt of their alcohol grocery and grabs a pen from the pocket of his backpack.
"You're being ridiculous." Jimin says as Jungkook hands him the pen and paper. "I'm not, I'm completely aware we're doing this. C'mon, Jimin, maybe–maybe after all these heartbreaks, maybe it's us who we really deserve." Jungkook has his doe eyes wide, staring hopefully at Jimin.
Pacts are ridiculous, who even invented it? It's a band-aid solution for mending a broken heart.
"Jimin, please. I know that we'll have each other for the rest of our lives." Jungkook then crawls to his side, clinging his arms to Jimin.
"Fine, if you forget about this in the morning, you'll be alone in this dorm for the rest of our stay in this university." Jimin threatens but Jungkook just kissed his cheek, promising he won't.
"I'll tell you what to write. Put the date today first." Jungkook commands and Jimin does as he was told, rolling his eyes.
"Make it dramatic, okay? Say if ten years from now, none of us have been married or be in a relationship, we will attend the Christmas concert and get married immediately—wait no! Not immediately, a day after." Jungkook proudly tells Jimin. Little did Jungkook know, Jimin put his own words at the end of the letter,
If this works out, please get reminded that maybe after all these years, you two are the ones meant for each other.
Then Jimin puts the word witnesses and their names and asked Jungkook to sign on top of his name.
Jimin didn't know how or when it exactly went down. Their third year came by swiftly even if it's their busiest year. They even had the chance to travel together when they got a week-long break with Jungkook surprising him for a Tokyo trip.
“You’re insane!” Jimin exclaimed when Jungkook broke the news to him. “No, I’m not!” Jungkook excitedly gets on Jimin’s bed, showing him their tickets.
“I am not going to Tokyo with you!” Jimin moves away from his best friend but Jungkook just laughs at him. “Yes, you are! And you need to pack your things now. We’re leaving in 8 hours.” Jimin feels like he’s going to explode right then and there.
Of course, he ended up finding himself on a plane with Jungkook that night. He would be lying if he says he didn’t enjoy their three-day trip because he sure as hell did. He even spent most likely all of what’s left in his savings account for the limited-edition Nightmare Before Christmas snow globe displayed in one of the pop-up stores in Tokyo Disneyland.
“Jungkookie, I don’t know what I did to deserve this. I love you so much.” Jimin pouts, hugging Jungkook tight. “We deserve it, Minie. One last hurrah, we’re leaving uni and probably get on another plane to – I don’t know – Paris? Whatever you’d like.” Jungkook squeezes back, kissing the top of Jimin’s head. Just before they leave Tokyo, coming back from using the bathroom, he saw Jungkook buy a ring in one of the shops in the airport but Jungkook looked like he didn’t want to be seen in the store so Jimin never brought up the subject.
That same night when they got back to their dorm and Jungkook’s already fast asleep on his bed, Jimin, for the first time, denied his way deeper feelings for Jungkook, because he knows the moment he denied it, is the moment he admits to himself that he’s falling in, and he’s falling in to it deep.
Or maybe, the trip was like a farewell, because It went downhill after that. Jimin tries to compare what’s happening to a situation he’s been in his whole life. Jungkook is like a toy, the toy he loves the most. He plays with it everyday and then all of a sudden it just disappeared, completely clueless that the day before was already the last day he’ll play with the toy. That’s what and how Jimin felt.
Jimin learned Jungkook’s college department did some reshuffling with the students so he gained new blockmates. And if Jimin can put into words how to describe those people, he’ll simply say they are the worst. They drink every day, probably smoke pot too. And Jungkook, oh god his angel Jungkook, picked up those habits and Jimin didn’t know that it would be as painful as a heartbreak for him to see his best friend crash.
He knows Jungkook can manage himself, but he didn’t know why Jungkook did it. Was he not enough of a good emotional support? What did Jimin do? What did he not do? Was he suffocating Jungkook with their shared space? Was he being too clingy and affectionate?
There was one night when he was nursing a drunk Jungkook dropped off at their dorm by “one” of his new friends, he didn’t know he was already shedding tears.
“Jungkook, please.” He didn’t know if he was crying because Jungkook’s weight was all on him or he was crying merely because of Jungkook. He misses him so much; he misses them so much. Maybe he’s fed up, getting tired of doing the same thing with Jungkook over and over again; it feels like it’s already a routine for Jimin to aid his drunken and probably high best friend.
“For fucks sake, stand up!” He shouts and Jungkook stirs from his state. “You’re so careless! And so dumb! This is not you! Wake up!” Jimin cries, hitting his best friend’s arm.
“I’m so tired, Jungkook. I am not your caregiver! You are not my responsibility.” Jimin continues but Jungkook just groans. Jimin shuts his eyes hard, fist tightening that his knuckles went white. Even with the words he said, he still aided Jungkook that night. He went to sleep crying and praying for his best friend.
In the dawn, Jimin feels his bed dip, and then an arm is wrapped around his waist.
“I’m sorry.” He hears Jungkook whisper. “I’m so sorry, Jimin. From now on, I will stop. I didn’t know why I did it, no more excuses. I know you’re already disappointed with me but please forgive me.” He hears Jungkook sniff and within seconds, hot tears trickle down Jimin’s eyes. He tried to speak but only sobs came out of his mouth and Jungkook pulls him closer.
“I’m sorry for causing you pain, I’m the worst best friend ever.” Jungkook cries to his neck and Jimin’s eyes remained closed but continued to shed tears.
“Let’s just get some rest now, okay? We’ll talk later.” Jimin’s voice breaks at the end of his sentence. “Okay.” Jungkook sniffed again, burying his face to Jimin’s back.
Who’s Jimin kidding, he knows he can never ever get mad at Jungkook. His Jungkook.
Fourth year is a rollercoaster ride. They were busier than ever but on weekends, they made sure to spend time together in a café; doing their thesis. In some instances, when they get reminded by Jungkook’s nightmare, a term they coined for that event in his life, they’d quickly change the subject and completely pretend it didn’t happen. It’s something that created a big impact on Jimin, and of course on Jungkook, that’s why as much as possible they didn’t want to get reminded by the infamous history.
One last month and they’re leaving college, just like that. Sometimes Jimin would just sit on a bench in campus, recalling his first memories of the place. A lot has happened in the past four years, may it be good or bad. Jimin doesn’t know how he made through after everything that has happened but he’s proud of himself for surviving so.
They were in a dinner one night, having a casual get together with their friends on a Friday night, Jimin and Jungkook sitting right beside each other, while the three of their friends sat across. They were talking about their internship experiences and the attention now goes to Jungkook.
“Oh Kook, have you found an apartment?” Taehyung asks as he eats his pasta. Jimin didn’t know if he hears it right and so he squints his eyes, slowly looking at Jungkook.
“Apartment for what?” Jimin asks, he didn’t know if he was asking the whole group or just Jungkook.
“He got accepted for a job in Australia. It’s a very well-known company and they wanted Jungkook to design their new building.” Jimin’s ears ring in octaves and he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels hot and his hands got sweaty.
“How long will you stay there?” Jimin, clearly pertaining to Jungkook, continues to ask but the latter remains quiet and unbothered while eating his food. “I think he’s staying there for good. Wait, didn’t he tell you?” Taehyung now gets on to the tone of Jimin’s questions.
“No, he did not.” Jimin, brows knitted, stares at Jungkook’s eyes, burning holes there. “I haven’t? I thought I already did.” Jungkook then speaks, avoiding his gaze. He looked and sounded too awkward, as if he just wants to drop the subject and move one to the next person who will tell their story.
“No, you didn’t tell me you’re leaving for good. ” Jimin emphasizes. “When are you even leaving?”
“Two weeks? ‘M not sure. I’m not counting.” Jungkook just shrugs and Jimin has never wanted to strangle him so bad.
When everyone noticed the sudden tension, they changed the topic quickly but Jimin still stared annoyed at Jungkook. Jimin mutters a “you’re unbelievable” under his breath and Jungkook just snorted, which is also the reason why Jimin felt even angrier.
“You’re leaving the country for good? For good?!” Jimin asks, as soon as they got back to their dorm. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Jimin is confused, angry, sad and everything bad.
“I forgot, okay? I don’t know. I didn’t know I haven’t told you.” Jungkook sure as hell looked like he wanted to just drop the topic and get some sleep but Jimin is stubborn and a whole lot upset.
“Jungkook, are you hearing yourself? You are leaving !” Jimin exclaims. He discards his jacket , he’s throwing his hands to the air, emphasizing each of his words.
“I don’t know where I’m more upset, the fact that you didn’t tell me or the fact that you are leaving for good. Oh my god, you’re leaving in two weeks.” Jimin is frantic, he’s pacing back and forth at the small space between their beds and Jungkook is slowly getting frustrated and tired as well.
“Don’t be too dramatic, Jimin. This is a job; this is my life now. I can’t believe you’re not being supportive about this.” Jungkook gets up to get a glass of water.
“Jungkook, you’re being ridiculous! Of course, I’m in all way of supporting you. You deserve this! But you are leaving the country for good ! You are leaving me for good!” And there goes Jimin’s actual reason. Jungkook almost choked on his water.
Was Jimin selfish? Does he have the right to say this or even feel this way? Jimin gives up and lets his heart do the talking. His best friend is leaving for good to achieve his dreams, why does he have to be in this dilemma?
“ You are being ridiculous! Why is it such a big deal that I’m leaving? We’re not even together!” Jimin stops, mouth hanging open. There was a long deafening silence in the room before Jimin gathered up the remaining words left in his mouth.
“Right. You are right.” Jimin forces a smile, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.
He feels daggers shoot right through his heart; it feels like someone’s tightening a rope around his neck. He wanted to melt, he wanted to explode, he wanted to disappear. It feels like the blood slowly empties his veins, leaving him cold and unwanted. It hurts even more coming from Jungkook's mouth. They are not even together, why is this such a big deal to him?
He shakily picks up his jacket, walking out of the dorm. Their shoulders brush past each other and Jimin hears Jungkook call his name but he was already out of the door, crying his heart out, running away from the building.
Why did Jungkook say that? Did he look at Jimin that way? Of all things, why them being together was the first thing that Jungkook thought of?
All these questions remained unanswered 'til the death of time as that was the last time he ever saw Jungkook.
The next day when he went back to the dorm, Jungkook was out. Jimin would be most likely asleep, tired from crying, when Jungkook gets back, if he did. Even on the day of Jungkook’s departure, in which Jimin never knew the exact day when, he never saw him again. He just knew when one night he went home after his thesis defense, he finds Jungkook’s side of the bed empty and cold. That night, even if Jimin was sure he was going to graduate with latin honors, he cried himself to sleep shedding more tears than the nights before.
Jimin wakes up from an alarm ringing throughout his apartment complex. He lazily checked his phone and sees the date.
Thursday, 13 December
He sits from his bed and a piece of paper fell out of his chest; he has slept holding their pact .
After all these years, he's still in the denial stage, that the pact was stupid and useless. But deep inside him never even forgot it existed. It's like everyday he's reminded of their deal, even though he's a hundred percent sure Jungkook has forgotten about it and not in the way he just forgot but forcefully got rid of stupid idea.
Jimin stares at his laptop as he eats his breakfast. Bold letters of Christmas concert from his alma mater displays on the screen he has been staring at for the past thirty minutes. He contemplates if he actually attends the concert and attempt to see Jungkook there even if he knows Jungkook will never be there. There's nothing to lose anymore since he has already lost his best friend many years ago. He created this deal in his head that if he can still get a ticket from a senior he knew who organized the event, then he was meant to attend the concert. Just minutes after he convinces himself with this thought, his phone buzzes.
got u sum tix, minie. It’s just gen ad tho, is that fine?
More than enough, hyung. Thank you!
ok, I’ll c u later
And so, he’s attending.
Jimin came hours later than the actual start of the event. Few bands have performed but the band he was anticipating hasn’t, so he thinks he’s just right in time. He then roams around the campus and realize it hasn’t changed that much from where he left it off. His feet drag him to the back of the building where he learned Jungkook was an architecture major, he smiles at the memory.
He buys his time with eating and catching up on the familiar faces he walked past to on campus. He pitied himself for being alone, and of course for being the dumbest and most stubborn person in the world. What if he went back to their room when Jungkook called him? What if he didn’t push Jungkook’s buttons? What if he didn’t make it all about him that night when they fought? If Jimin could go back in time, knowing they would end up like this, he would; and he would get things right again. But it just happens in fairytales and in movies. It already happened and there’s no way he can repaint their history again. He has already scarred it.
He sighs, shaking his head and pushes back the tears that have formed on the corners of his eyes. He walked back to the growing crowd in front of the stage, and his favorite band is already playing. And then it comes to the one song that reminds him why he’s here.
I want to lay down by the fire with you
Where souls are glowing, ever warmer too
Your love surrounds me like a lullaby
Singing softly, you are mine oh mine
Jimin closes his eyes, and before he could even know it, he’s crying, yet again. He shakes his head in disbelief and disappointment. Everything could’ve been different if he was more careful, if he didn’t become too self-centered. He made everything about him that he lost all of his friends, even his best friend, in a blink of an eye. He sniffed, and then sighed, standing in the middle at the end of the crowd, sobbing to himself quietly.
Moon has never glowed this color
Hearts have never been this close
He suddenly feels a hand hold his, and a familiar warmth and smell surrounded him. If his mind is just making all of these up, he reminds himself that needs to run because, of course, who holds a stranger's hand in a concert. That's creepy.
I’ve never been more certain
I will love you ‘til we’re old
“I missed you.” And so he hears the ever so familiar voice. Jimin thinks if this is just a dream, he’s willing to wake up, but if this is real, then god must be playing a trick on him. Nevertheless, he gets pulled into a hug, and right then and there, he’s back in Jungkook’s arms.
Maybe the night holds a little hope for us dear
Maybe we might want to settle down, just be near
Stay together here
And then in a snap of a finger, it's like someone tipped a glass over the edge of a table, hitting the hard ground and breaking into tiniest pieces. Jimin cries hard to Jungkook’s chest, thousands of sorry’s being thrown at each other. Jungkook’s here, he’s here. He didn’t forget about the pact.
We follow the pull of fate, into this moment
We follow the pull of fate, into this moment
“You deserved to know but my pride got in the way. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like it’s your fault because it’s not.” Jungkook cried to him and Jimin’s heart felt like it’s slowly getting ripped. “I’m so sorry, Jimin. You didn’t deserve someone like me. I put you through so much back then, I don't think I even have the right to hold you again.”
“No, Jungkook. Don’t say that. You are my best friend. I love you so much it hurts.” Jimin choked on his words. “I’m sorry if I suffocated you with my words and actions. I just – I was so afraid of losing you because – because I was so in love with you.” Jimin takes his chance to finally admit his feelings because this might be the end of everything they had.
“I didn’t know I’d lose you either way. I’m sorry, you deserved to know.” Jimin pulls away from the hug, still crying. He wipes his tears away only to be replaced with a new one.
“Jimin…” Jungkook trails, making Jimin look up at him. “I didn’t – I didn’t tell you I was leaving because I didn’t want to spend our remaining days together with you fearing the day of my departure. I didn’t want to get too attached, even if I have already miserably failed at that because I already knew I was falling in love with you. I was so mad at myself, Jimin. I didn’t expect that we'd spend my last two weeks here avoiding each other. And that broke my heart, Minie . I got on that plane crying my heart out.” Jungkook’s bottom lip shakes, trying his best not to let out a sob but fails.
“But please don’t feel guilty. I broke my own heart because of my poor decisions.” Jungkook pushes away Jimin’s hair, and Jimin goes to wipe the tears away from Jungkook’s cheeks.
“Park Jimin, I hope I’m not too late for our pact.” Jungkook sniffs, staring at Jimin with hopeful eyes.
Does love end or it just gets paused? How can, after all these years, your heart still beat to the same name? Do you blame time or yourself? Is it really worth it to waste time on? But the thing is, only you can answer that. Love doesn't come to people's lives in the same figure and you can't really blame how love stays within them. It's the same yet so different.
“No, you’re not late. You’re never late.” Jimin smiles at him. And Jungkook’s mouth breaks into a grin, he missed his beautiful smile so much.
Without wasting another heartbeat, Jungkook leans down to kiss Jimin. And just like that, the answer to the question that’s been hanging around their heads finally gets answered. The fireworks glowed above them. The kiss was a bit sloppy, but it was all they ever wanted. Jungkook pulls away and Jimin almost whined, unsatisfied with the length of period their lips have been together but Jungkook just chuckles at him. Then he sees him pull out something from his pocket.
“Park Jimin, will you marry me?” Jungkook flashes him the ring Jimin saw Jungkook bought one night just before they leave Tokyo. He still had it after all these years. Jimin nods, smiling and pulling Jungkook into another kiss.
If this works out, please get reminded that maybe after all these years, you two are the ones meant for each other.