Namjoon’s smile fell instantly as the director turned the camera away from him and Yoongi, turning around in their seat to review the footage quickly before they arrived in case they had to reshoot the introduction before going...wherever they were going. They still hadn’t been told.
Closing his eyes felt blissful as Namjoon leaned his head back and fixed his headphones back onto his ears, letting the harsh tones of the Yeezus album lull him into a peaceful not quite sleep. Tired was an understatement at this point.
They’d been in LA for less than two weeks and hadn’t gotten a minute to adjust to the timezone since arriving. If they weren’t shooting for the reality TV show, they were writing and recording, or often re-writing and re-recording. A handful of hours of sleep a night was a lot for the seven of them.
The lack of sleep and pressure to always be working was something he did know was going to be there when he signed up for this. Begged for this. But the reality, like it so often is, was much harder to swallow. The pressure often too much, too suffocating, to relieve and breathe through.
That’s where his hyung made things worse but also better. Having a driving force, an annoying opinionated driving force, like Yoongi next to him 24/7 was a motivator. They’d spent the first three years living together arguing, cooling off as more members were added and as they got to know each other. Yoongi, when not voicing his opinion, was silently judging and probably analysing how he could do every leader role better than Namjoon at any given moment.
Because Namjoon wasn’t doing well under pressure. At least once a week he shuddered specifically over the online hip-hop interview, how he completely lost his cool and wasn’t able to focus and answer simple questions and criticisms that had been thrown at them by a fellow rapper. He was lucky for Yoongi in that instance, he knew he was, but it still felt like he failed as a leader.
He was chosen because he was smart and able to communicate well, apparently, but in that appearance he stumbled and his confident persona dropped, unable to keep up the facade. They were signed up for that interview to give them credit in the Korean rap scene- sending Yoongi and him made sense as they had been in said rap scene before Bangtan. They had even heard these criticisms before with fellow underground rappers. Bangtang wasn’t supposed to be so far from this underground world, something that was important for him and Yoongi to establish. They were struggling artists who slaved over their work for almost no money- it felt similar to when they weren’t signed to a label if Namjoon was honest. Being a trainee and debuting felt exactly the same as when he was practicing and writing his verses, begging for time at an open mic night or maybe even a gig.
But B-Free was quick to tell Namjoon that was not the case- they were not the same and that made Namjoon lesser in this hip hop hierarchy. And not only that, but being an idol, according to B-Free revealed his questionable masculinity and his sexuality, further making him the target to ridicule and feel less than those around him. He remembered the way he instantly started to sweat when B-Free mentioned make up and being gay. There was no way he could know, right?
Namjoon had been hiding that aspect of his life for years at that point and was able to tuck it away during his underground days. No one questioned tough rappers.
Well, no one but Yoongi. Again, Yoongi’s quiet judgement was able to take Namjoon a part, dissect him to his core. Again, Yoongi was the leader and was able to quietly pat Namjoon and tell him it was okay, that they’d get through this gay-rapper-idol business together.
Namjoon physically cringes in the van, flashes of B-Free’s words hitting him and how he had just shut down. He let the argument control him instead of controlling the argument.
Yoongi stepped up where he shouldn’t have had to, defending them in a calm manner which made him not the winner or loser, but still let him off scot free nonetheless. Yoongi never gave up control of situations, even when he wasn’t speaking. He was a better leader than Namjoon who often wanted nothing to do with control as he seemed to only make things worse. He wasn’t actually a good leader and he was terrified equally of having control and not having control, both possibilities having the ability to lead to him being found out for the imposter he was.
Yoongi grunted next him him in the van and Namjoon cracked an eye open to. His head was stretched back, similar to Namjoon’s position, listening to music with his eyes closed. His pale neck was on display too- his large Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.
He was wearing a t-shirt that they’d been given this morning with his name on it. The t-shirt didn’t dip down much past the bottom of his throat, but Namjoon knew in the week they’d been there the hickey he’d left on the base of Yoongi’s throat was faded. He’d seen him getting changed and getting ready in the morning.
They couldn’t be together often- it was risky after all. That and he sometimes couldn’t stand Yoongi. It’s how the whole situation began in the first place- him and Yoongi letting off steam. And it continued. Usually, when either Namjoon or Yoongi were being pissy in the studio or, one memorable time, alone at the dorm, a good orgasm did wonders for their working relationship. Or at least, that’s how Namjoon justified it.
“Fuck,” Namjoon groaned as Yoongi ground down on him where they were balancing parcasiously in the studio chair. Namjoon leaned forward and sucked on his neck, making Yoongi let out a soft moan and throw his head back. When he threw his head back, his weight shifted and Namjoon’s hands around Yoongi’s waist quickly shifted to holding him to his chest by his ass. Yoongi softly moaned again. Namjoon’s large hands completely engulfed Yoongi’s tiny ass, squeezing the flesh hard.
Let me hear you , Namjoon wanted to direct him, but he bit harder on Yoongi to stave off the instinct to tell Yoongi what to do, especially while doing this. He knew that wouldn’t end well. Not that they’d discussed it. Or anything about this arrangement really.
Namjoon started to thrust up into Yoongi. They both let out tandem breathy groans, further encouraging Namjoon to repeat. He had his eyes closed and concentrated on the sensation in his dick and the growing pressure in his stomach and on Yoongi’s sounds. Yoongi let him thrust up, holding himself above Namjoon for a bit before thrusting back down in time with Namjoon’s thrusts up.
“F-fuck,” Namjoon stuttered as he let go of Yoongi’s ass with one hand and laced it through Yoongi’s hair instead, pulling his head to Namjoon’s, wanting to kiss some more. They never kissed enough.
The kiss was messy, having met each other practically tongue first, and Yoongi wasn’t able to hold back a lot of his sounds. Namjoon held Yoongi’s head to his, not letting him move back or away and wondered if Yoongi would challenge him on this. Yoongi’s brow furrowed but he didn’t comment, just continued to breathe hotly into Namjoon’s mouth.
Yoongi’s thrusts became messy, his moans becoming breath-y “ah ah ah’s” as Namjoon tried to speed up his thrusts and Namjoon felt he’d lose function because of those sounds and come on the spot. Namjoon held his embarrassing sounds inside, knowing they’d be high pitched and not masculine. Yoongi lost time with Namjoon, making him squeeze Yoongi’s ass and pull them together in time, not letting Yoongi control his own pace. Yoongi let out a loud moan, body stiff and thrusting hard once before going quiet, leaning down and in on himself as he let out a deep breath and bit into Namjoon’s throat as he came in his pants.
Namjoon thrust up a few more times, feeling Yoongi twitch against him. He wanted to hold Yoongi against him, overstimulation making it intense as Yoongi draped over him unable to make his body move especially with Namjoon’s hands holding him down. He wanted to take control and make Yoongi take it, but he didn’t think Yoongi would be as into that as Namjoon so he let him go, shoving a hand down his pants to quickly jerk himself off. They did this so infrequently, they both came way too quickly. Luckily both of them were in the same boat so Namjoon didn’t feel too bad about coming after five minutes of dry humping followed by pulling his dick about 2.5 times. At least he lasted longer than Yoongi this time.
Yoongi lifted a bit to accommodate his hand between their bodies, but when Namjoon finally came, silently, Yoongi dropped back down to lean on him. They both panted coming down from their orgasms. Namjoon thought it over and created a 6th tally mark in his mind.
This wasn’t the furthest they’d gone. They’d both given each other blowjobs on separate occasions because Namjoon had come in his pants while blowing Yoongi in the third encounter and Yoongi had rubbed off on Namjoon’s thigh after blowing him in the fourth encounter. So dry humping wasn’t the furthest they’d gone, but Namjoon felt a bit electric because it was the only time he’d ever taken control. He’d grabbed Yoongi’s head and ass, directing his movements in the heat of the moment.
Namjoon felt a zing of arousal shoot through his dick, making him twitch in the aftershock, thinking about how he’d moved Yoongi’s hip at a pace he wanted, a pace he set, and how Yoongi had just let him take complete control, limp in his hands while feeling overwhelming pleasure that was given by Namjoon. Namjoon had set the pace to get him off, it was Namjoon who he was rubbing off against. He was the center and giver of pleasure that had Yoongi coming hard, in his pants even.
“What were we fighting about?” Yoongi yawned, stretching up after going limp in Namjoon’s arms and lap for a few minutes to recover. Namjoon swallowed as a strip of skin was exposed from Yoongi’s arms stretching above his head. He mentally told himself to calm down- they’d both just come and no one else would want to immediately go another round. How many times had Yoongi reminded him that “porn was not real life”?
“Uh, you wanted to completely scrap Working Title, I wanted to have Taehyung come in and record the hooks and mess around a bit more with the mixing,” Namjoon explained as Yoongi leaned back in Namjoon’s lap to grab a handful of tissues from the desk.
“I didn’t say scrap it,” Yoongi scoffed, stuffing his hand with tissues down his sweats to clean up. “I said we should just set it aside because we’d already been working on that one for weeks and it’s not getting any better.”
Namjoon sighed in defeat as Yoongi climbed out of his lap, stretching his legs and rubbing his knees to get circulation back in them, having gone stiff squished on either side of Namjoon’s hips in the small office chair.
Yoongi cleared his throat and looked out the window, tilting his head in the opposite direction of Namjoon’s gaze. Namjoon quickly looked up at the ceiling, his ears turning red at being caught staring at his friend-cum-fuckbuddie.
Namjoon didn’t move, not wanting to draw attention to himself. He turned up his music to hopefully lose himself in some Kanye before he had to be On again for the camera.
Yoongi definitely smelled like fish, his clothes having absorbed the smell of the kitchen while he worked there for a couple of hours. Namjoon didn’t smell much better after using harsh chemicals to clean the bathrooms in the hotel.
Luckily they got food, the ahjumma taking care of them when he guessed they looked appropriately pathetic. Now they had time to kill as they had to wait for the director and manager to review the footage, making sure they weren’t missing anything before they packed up at the hotel for the day. As if they didn’t get four hours of footage of them cleaning hotel rooms and kitchens. As if he and Yoongi didn’t have their fair share of shit underpaying job experiences already in life, they had to prove on camera that they knew how to wash dishes and clean toilets.
“Namjoon-ah, “ Yoongi groaned, stretching up as he jogged up from behind Namjoon where they were leaving the restaurant. He held out the masterkey Candy has entrusted Namjoon with. “You forgot this.”
“Oh, thanks hyung. What-,” Namjoon started, reaching out to grab the key before Yoongi swiped it back.
“We have time to kill right?” Yoongi said, looking down at the key in his hand. He didn’t wait for an answer. “We could, theoretically, go to a room that you’d already cleaned and hang out there until they texted us.”
Namjoon stared at Yoongi. “Hyung,” he said slowly, thinking over how bad an idea this was and staring at the key. Working constantly with cameras and managers and legions of people meant that the job had a lot of hurry up and wait. The waiting bit was never comfortable or in their homes, leading to a lot of boredom and loneliness. But also using this key could lead to a lot of angry managers...
“I want a real shower, preferably one that doesn’t run out of hot water. And isn’t one I know all the band members have peed in,” Yoongi sighed, holding firm onto the key.
“You know the hotel guests have all peed in these showers, right? At least we know where Taehyung’s been and what he’s ingested,” Namjoon pointed out offhandedly, not looking away from the key. Yoongi just groaned in response.
“C’mon, Namjoon-ah,” Yoongi whined. “Think of what we could do in a hotel room for a couple of hours.”
Namjoon finally raised his eyes to Yoongi’s. They hadn’t had privacy or time to mess around in weeks. He hadn’t even had his studio with a computer to jack off while they were in California. They had been working with producers and studios here and it would feel wrong to jerk off in them, even when he was alone. Even the showers had largely been shared to conserve the hot water in the apartment that was not meant for seven young men plus their massive team. Yoongi’s eyebrows were raised, as if he understood he’d already won.
“A couple hours of uninterrupted sleep,” Yoongi said slowly. Namjoon felt his face slowly fall. “It sounds erotic, doesn’t it?” he smirked knowingly.
“Hyung- what-” Namjoon frowned, his neck and face blooming red and hot in a matter of seconds. Why did he have to be forever horny?
Yoongi must have picked up on his screwed up and red face as understanding flashed across his expression, his mouth opening a touch to show the bottom of his top two teeth.
“Oh, Namjoon-ah, I… um, I mean, yes?” Yoongi shrugged, making his consent sound like a question. Namjoon frowned and shook his head, grabbing the key.
“No, we can sleep, hyung. Let’s go,” Namjoon said, turning around and leading Yoongi to the elevator bank. He looked around to make sure the director and manager weren’t looking for them. He spotted them across the lobby, watching the footage together and talking in hushed tones. Namjoon didn’t know how much footage they got, but he hoped it was enough and he wouldn’t have to clean another room. He knew they still had all the b-roll to get as well.
“Namjoon-ah, wait up,” Yoongi said, lengthening his strides to stand next to Namjoon in front of the elevator bank. He put a hand on Namjoon’s arm, looking up at him. Namjoon stayed facing the elevators watching the number go down. “We can do that, too. I’d like to! We haven’t in awhile, a release would be great right about now,” he said softly, placing a hand softly on Namjoon’s elbow. He said all of this so easily, Namjoon didn’t know what to think. Yoongi was so stubborn and set in his ways, but he also had a sneaky way of looking out for his boys. Self-loathing had already started to bubble up and Namjoon felt powerless to stop it.
“No, it’s fine hyung. Let’s just relax- you’re right,” Namjoon spoke softly. The elevator in front of them dinged and the doors opened. Yoongi sighed and unnecessarily pulled Namjoon by his arm into the elevator before turning toward him.
“Namjoon, look at me,” Yoongi said firmly. The elevator doors slid shut. “I want to, please trust me when I am saying something.”
Namjoon turned his head quickly to look at Yoongi and blinked. Yoongi nodded and leaned up, placing a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder for balance, to kiss him. It was firm but chaste- an appeal to stop and trust his hyung. Namjoon felt his shoulders drop and tension leave them a little. He was forever horny, but maybe Yoongi could be horny sometimes too. He felt the self-loathing suddenly stop bubbling as he looked down at Yoongi for a minute, the elevator dinging as it went down each floor. Namjoon finally nodded.
“Okay, yeah, maybe let’s shower first?” Namjoon asked as Yoongi dropped back down to his feet and signature slouch. His hand slipped off Namjoon’s shoulder.
“Yes, please! I need to get the fish out of my hair,” Yoongi nodded, turning back towards the front. The elevator doors dinged and opened again, back to the floor Namjoon had been cleaning earlier.
Namjoon didn’t mind the fish smell, would probably be ready to fuck in the middle of a hot tub full of fish head soup if it was Yoongi with him. God, he really was too horny.
They walked down the hall silently, Namjoon checking to make sure Candy wasn’t around before picking a room he’d cleaned at random. Room 306. He took three steps into the room before his stomach fell through his ass, stopping abruptly causing Yoongi to run into his back. There were people in the room. They were definitely going to get caught out now. They were never going to be allowed out of their manager’s sight again. His brain stopped functioning. Namjoon didn’t look up from the two sets of socked feet at the end of the bed. His brain was providing no information or ideas, just a constant loop of “ shit shit shit shit. ”
“Hey?” Yoongi grumbled from behind him, pushing past to step further into the room. Yoongi abruptly paused directly in front of Namjoon, obviously seeing that they weren’t alone. He heard the door slam shut to the room. It was almost comical. Namjoon grabbing a fistful of Yoongi’s shirt, both needing to hold onto his hyung for comfort and to begin to drag him backwards to the door.
“I’m so sor-” Namjoon began as his brain came back online, already tripping over his feet as he tried to quickly back out of the room and dragging Yoongi with him on instinct when he looked up and cut himself off, the sentence dying in his throat. Yoongi’s shirt was stretched back as he was rooted in his original spot, Namjoon pulling his shirt not registering as all brain function was stalling out.
Sitting on the bed, both their backs resting against the headboard, was what looked like a slightly older Yoongi and Namjoon. At least, he thought they looked similar. They both looked...less severe. Softer.
The Namjoon on the bed looked like him but calm, more mature. He wasn’t wearing any black but instead dressed in soft earth tones. His face was clean of makeup, but his eyebrows still looked dark and defined. He had definitely filled out in his body. He no longer had skinny shoulders and gangly limbs. His pecs and shoulders looked firm. His thighs and legs definitely filled out, stretching the fabric of his loose, but still fitted, pants in the thighs as they pressed against the bed. Namjoon caught himself staring at this man on the bed and felt his face heat up.
“Do you remember this, hyung?” the older looking Namjoon asked softly to the older looking Yoongi next to him. Both of them didn’t look away from their other selves. Namjoon wondered what they were thinking.
“Namjoon-ah,” Yoongi suddenly said from in front of him after a moment of silence. “Are there cameras in the room?”
Yoongi looked back at Namjoon, who admittedly took a minute to process what Yoongi was saying, his mind moving slowly trying to process the situation.
“What? You think this is planned?” He asked dumbly, his voice dropping low in confusion. Yoongi rolled his eyes before looking around the room, ostensibly for a hidden camera, while staying firmly rooted in his spot in front of Namjoon. Namjoon didn’t release his shirt from his fist.
“This isn’t a prank,” the older looking Namjoon said from the bed, leaning forward finally. “We’re you from the future.”
Namjoon squinted at the man on the bed, his brain still not processing. 404 Error. Yoongi made a noise of disbelief next to him. The other Namjoon had said it very matter-a-fact like time travel was akin to taking a flight. What the fuck?
“Look, come here,” the Yoongi on the bed said, pointing directly in front of himself. “We’ve lived this already, we know what you’re thinking, and we need to get through this bit quickly as we don’t have much time.” Namjoon stared down at that Yoongi’s hands. They were long and thin like his Yoongi’s. And Namjoon knew Yoongi’s hands. Intimately. His eyes traveled up his arm, again less thin although still quite slight, and up to his face. His hair was styled lighter, less choppy and thick. His eyes seemed softer, along with his face. His jaw was still defined, but somewhat rounder and less cut. Namjoon could spot a bit of facial hair under his chin. The Yoongi next to him was hot, of course, but the Yoongi on the bed was confident in a way that made Namjoon begin to sweat a bit on the back of his neck. Or maybe that was just the stress of the situation.
Either way, it was Yoongi. The same nose, the same eyes, the same smile. All of it the same- Namjoon would know. Namjoon could be anywhere and be able to spot any section of Yoongi’s anatomy. Hell, he’d even done it with his eyes closed before. He made eye contact with the Yoongi on the bed, who had begun to smirk, and quickly averted his gaze.
He accidentally looked back at this Yoongi’s hands. They were Yoongi’s hands. He knew those.
“Yeah, Yoongi- you think this is some sort of prank. It’s not,” Namjoon on the bed said. “And I’m not thinking much of anything.” The other Namjoon smirked as well, looking straight at Namjoon.
“Who are you?” Yoongi pushed, ever the strong chihuahua. Namjoon could see his frown, his face completely guarded, arms crossed in front of his chest. Namjoon moved his hand from gripping Yoongi’s shirt to slipping onto his shoulder, wanting to stay close.
“We’re you from 2019. You two have been hooking up since just before your debut,” future Yoongi said, looking unwaveringly at his younger self. His demeanor was ever cool and calm. Namjoon felt, for the second time in five minutes, like his stomach dropped out through his ass. His Yoongi’s face was not revealing anything, hard and closed off and not dropping future Yoongi’s gaze.
“You’ve only hooked up… six times? In the last year or so that you’ve been hooking up,” future Namjoon offered, his face much less severe as he lifted his eyebrows slightly.
Namjoon was convinced. Maybe he was going about this dumbly, but he trusted Yoongi anywhere and anytime, especially with these secrets. He didn’t even tell Seokjin or Hoseok these things. The reason they’d only hooked up a handful of times was because they both wanted complete privacy which was hard to come by in the band.
Yoongi was still squinting, not believing the two.
“You both came in here to hook up while you waited for the director and your manager to call you to go back to the dorm for dinner before recording this evening,” future Yoongi said, leaning back against the headboard and seeming bored. Namjoon recognized that- it was a patented Min Yoongi move to pretend to be above the situation when he truly cared deeply.
“I feel like anyone would know that,” Yoongi said, his tone a false calm he gets when he’s trying to control are argument and not concede that someone has upset him. How could Yoongi not see the mirrored behavior?
“You’ve been wanting to try anal for the last few months but don’t know how to ask him,” future Yoongi said with way too much confidence for someone who was talking about their past self. He smirked at Yoongi smugly.
Namjoon’s mind short circuited.
“Oh, and you have a thing for Namjoon’s big dick,” future Yoongi added. Check mate. Future Namjoon’s ears turned a bright red, similar to Namjoon’s current ears. This situation was entirely too much.
But also, Namjoon felt a jolt of arousal. He curiously looked down at his dick as if it would give him answers. You’re into them talking about how much they love your big dick and how much they want you to fuck them with it , but they’re not talking to you about it, just talking about it to each other, his dick explained. Namjoon nodded internally. That checked out- he already had a laundry list of kinks, adding another one wasn’t new.
Namjoon glanced at Yoongi out of the corner of his eye, not wanting to confront everything that was being laid out for inspection. They’d spent at least a year at this point ignoring some of these things, or at least avoided directly confronting them. They’d never had a conversation about having sex. For Namjoon, that was 70% on purpose, 30% nervousness. But Yoongi, he wasn’t scared of anything, especially a social situation that required him to be blunt. He had complete control, by design, over every situation he’d ever been in ever- he wasn’t talking about these things 100% on purpose. It was statistics. Yoongi wasn’t looking at anyone but his future self, not wanting to be the one to break eye contact first.
“But, wait, how?” Namjoon broke out, his brain still short circuiting and turning into a mess of wires- nervousness, unease, embarrassment, disbelief, and the ever present horniness muddled together into one lump of sparking brain-wires. He turned back to the two on the bed.
“This is just a possibility in the future if you have the resources,” future Namjoon shrugged.
If you had the resources. Did that mean they were rich? Namjoon wondered.
“And before you ask, no, we will not be telling you anything that happens,” future Namjoon smiled. Namjoon frowned at that. So many things happened in ten minutes, his brain was at least twenty minutes behind. He had no control over the situation and felt the concealed frantic energy start to manifest in his jaw, clenching noticeable to even him.
“Maybe it’s time to talk?” Future Namjoon suggested gently. Future Yoongi nodded and rolled off the bed.
“C’mon, gremlin,” future Yoongi said and grabbed Yoongi by the shoulders to pull him into the bathroom without looking directly at him. It looked rough, but Namjoon could tell that future Yoongi was being quite soft with his past self.
Yoongi hesitated and watched his future self walk into the bathroom. Future Yoongi walked there without looking to see if Yoongi was following. It looked like Yoongi didn’t know if he was going to follow or not, his face frowning. After a tense minute, Yoongi slowly followed.
Namjoon watched them go, unease bubbling in his stomach. He didn’t look away until future Yoongi shut the bathroom door. He looked back at the bed, his future self openly staring at him. He felt his ears burn again. It hit him that his future self would know all the gross things he’d thought. He was embarrassed at the things he thought most of the time, and he didn’t even share those things with others. The idea that there was someone outside of himself, sort of at least, that knew about these thoughts made him feel a dark shame.
“Namjoon-ah,” his future self said softly. “Come here, yeah?” He patted the bed next to him where future Yoongi was sitting earlier. “Let’s talk.”
Namjoon was extremely aware of how he was sitting next to his future self. It was surreal. They were both sitting criss cross facing each other. Namjoon stared into his lap, not knowing what to say. His older self laughed softly to himself before clearing his throat.
“I know how this conversation goes already, but I don’t know what to say,” he said softly. “Although I don’t remember the specifics at all. I remember the gist of it. The lessons were really from afterwards.”
“What happens after this?” Namjoon asked, looking up at his future self.
“Do you think I can tell you anything about the future? No matter how immediate?” Future Namjoon pointed out, gentling his words with a small smile. “No, the gist of the conversation was something along the lines of ‘stop being so hard on yourself’ and ‘trust Yoongi and tell him what you want.’” Future Namjoon nodded along to his words, reviewing the truth.
Namjoon found those sentiments quite trite if he was being honest with himself. Maybe they were less trite because they were spoken by someone who had obviously been in his literal exact shoes, but still they were trite nonetheless.
“Sure,” Namjoon shrugged and rolled his eyes. A future him back from the future to tell him to… be kind to himself? That seemed like such a waste- Namjoon was too nice to himself if anything. He was walking embarrassment- it was amazing he’d gotten this far. He felt like an imposter on the precipice of being caught. The fact that he’d made it this far was more of a kindness than he probably afforded in the cosmos.
“No, I’m serious,” future Namjoon defended. He lifted a hand and it hovered over Namjoon’s shoulder before moving away and back into future Namjoon’s lap. “You need to stop being so hard on yourself as a leader. Share the burden, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Letting the others help you isn’t failing.” He spoke clearly and passionately, looking Namjoon in the eye unwaveringly. He lifted his hand again, this time placing it directly on Namjoon’s thigh. Namjoon never felt like he was able to do that, speaking clearly and act with intention. He felt so awkward in his body, never used it to initiate contact with others smoothly. His words, even when scripted, felt vague and his message felt jumbled coming out of his mouth. His actions, even with the boys, often stuttered and didn’t land.
“You’re a good leader and communicator, but that doesn’t mean you’re the only good leader and communicator. There are others in the group who are happy to help you, want to help you,” he continued. “Stop beating yourself up when you do need help. It’s human. It’s good.”
“Okay, I get it,” Namjoon answered, looking down. The only word he could think was “bullshit” because he couldn’t fathom a world where he deserved those things. Even if this Namjoon really was him, he obviously had a personality change or had never thought the same thoughts as him .
“No, I know you don’t,” future Namjoon argued, but there was no fight in his voice. “You’ll figure it out slowly, but I hope me telling you that makes it a bit easier to figure out. Easier than I had it maybe.”
Namjoon sighed and looked up at his future self. He looked frustrated but was trying to hide it, his jaw clenched a bit. But trying to hide something from yourself, while not impossible, was hard. Especially if it was your younger self. Namjoon could see the tensing jaw further, the shifting eyes, the constant small movements. Future Namjoon was antsy and a touch agitated. Namjoon himself was getting agitated. He didn’t know what to think of it. He did know he wasn’t a fan of this person telling Namjoon how to feel, how to react, how to classify failure in this extremely unique situation. He also didn’t enjoy feeling like he was being called a kid.
“I know, I know,” future Namjoon nodded, seeing Namjoon’s own frustration mirrored back. “Whatever I say will mean nothing right now, but that’s okay. Just keep it in mind- you have a support system. Mom, Dad, even Kyungmin. But especially the other boys. Yoongi in particular.”
Future Namjoon nodded along with his words, looking down at their laps and squeezing Namjoon’s thigh with the hand he still had on him. Namjoon didn’t know how to reciprocate the physical touch, if he even wanted to or just felt like he should want to in the situation.
“You need to talk with Yoongi in particular. Trust him,” future Namjoon repeated, looking meaningfully into Namjoon’s eyes. Namjoon let out a breath, not wanting to fight over this anymore. He wanted to stop contemplating his shortcomings, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. He wanted to stop obsessing over whatever was going on between him and Yoongi, but that wasn’t going to happen either.
He knew his future self wouldn’t answer any of these questions, but he was consumed with questions. What would happen between him and Yoongi? Would anyone find out? Would his parents find out? How was the military? Where was he placed? Did they ever win first place on a music show with any of there songs on the next album? Would they get to create another full album? Would Namjoon get to release his own music ever? Would he get time to create his own music while sharing that tiny studio with the other boys? Would he be happy when his music was released? Would he feel proud?
“Are you happy?” Namjoon finally settled on. Future Namjoon considered this question for a minute, looking all over Namjoon’s face as he contemplated the question. Surely he knew that question was coming- he’d lived it before. Namjoon was annoyed at how dramatic his future self was being.
“Yes, mostly. But I think I’ve decided to be at peace, or at least strive to be. And that doesn’t mean I’m happy 24/7, but it means I’m content even if I’m not happy,” future Namjoon finally answered. “Remember to ground yourself, I will say that.”
Namjoon deflated. That just sounded like an evasion more than anything else.
Suddenly the bathroom door cracked open to reveal future Yoongi popping his head out.
“Are you guys done in here?” He asked, eyebrows lifted but otherwise his face was blank. Namjoon hadn’t heard any shouting but that didn’t necessarily mean anything- Yoongi was a master at masking emotion.
“Yeah, we’re done,” future Namjoon answered, scooting over in the bed to press himself against the headboard once again, but this time on the opposite side to Namjoon on the large bed. Future Yoongi slid into the bed beside Namjoon, his back pressed against the headboard, directly in front of Namjoon.
Yoongi followed behind his future self slowly but didn’t make it very far into the room.
Future Yoongi smiled, finally a big smile with his top gums showing, quickly looking over at future Namjoon. His smile morphed into a smirk and he looked back at Namjoon and Yoongi who was still hovering behind Namjoon off the bed. He patted the space in front of him on the bed and nodded at Yoongi still standing. ”You two were going to fuck around, right?”
Namjoon felt his ears burn for the third time in less than 45 minutes. This encounter had been nothing but undressing him and his insecurities, making him feel a bit powerless. He wanted a modicum control back somehow but had no clue how to get it or ask for it.
Those two knew what they were going to do, why did these things have to be constantly pointed out? The previous year of pointedly not addressing things had been going fine as far as Namjoon was concerned. The guilt and shame was just natural, right?
Namjoon stared at his lap until he felt a hand on his leg. It was future Yoongi. He nodded encouragingly when Namjoon made eye contact.
Future Namjoon laughed somewhat awkwardly and rubbed his neck as he looked at Yoongi who was still standing behind Namjoon. “Mind if we join?”
Namjoon isn’t sure how it happened, but in the space of fifteen minutes future Yoongi somehow ended up on top of Namjoon, straddling his thighs as he leaned back with one arm for balance, one hand around Yoongi’s waist to hold him close. Future Yoongi bit into his mouth, aggressive as always to get what he wants.
Namjoon was a sucker for any Yoongi, truly.
He felt Yoongi’s hand tug at his hair, the tug going straight to his dick. Future Yoongi’s firm thrust down into his lap was also going straight to his dick, already getting hard after a couple of minutes of making out. He tightened his hand in the back of future Yoongi’s shirt, pulling him firmer to Namjoon, straightening out one leg to get leverage so he could thrust up.
Future Yoongi sucked Namjoon’s tongue into his mouth, letting out a harsh breath when Namjoon finally took over and pushed future Yoongi’s tongue back, making room for his own. The sound zinged through Namjoon, making his next thrust falter and his hand on future Yoongi’s back pull him closer, thrusting again in an aborted motion. Future Yoongi whimpered, breaking apart from their kiss to bury his head in Namjoon’s neck. He bit Namjoon’s neck, making Namjoon’s eyes close and focus on the hot feelings in his neck and his dick as future Yoongi sucked a bruise just below his ear, letting Namjoon continue to thrust up once more before gasping again and panting into Namjoon’s ear.
They were both in their t-shirts and boxers, having shed their jeans a minute ago to get more comfortable on the bed. Namjoon loved doing this with Yoongi, any Yoongi. His body seemed to fit perfectly, legs spread on either side of Namjoon’s hips. He felt less self conscious with this Yoongi, this Yoongi that must know Namjoon and had stuck with him through the years. Even if maybe that Namjoon still didn’t really feel like him. He felt safe and almost taken care of under this Yoongi.
Little pulses of heat went up Namjoon’s body from his dick as he thrust up into future Yoongi. He was a bit sweaty, the material of his boxers feeling a touch restrictive, but he didn’t want to pause this and stop the pleasure. He felt on edge already as future Yoongi panted into his neck, obviously desperate with the hard thrusts Namjoon was giving him. Namjoon knew he could come if he kept this up, squeezing Yoongi closer to him with his head on the small of his back.
“Look at them,” future Yoongi encouraged Namjoon, lightly pushing his face towards the other side of the bed. Namjoon slowed their thrusts down to measured, hard pushes so he could concentrate on the sight in front of him. The clenching in his stomach lessened, pulling him back from the edge a bit.
Namjoon cracked opened his eyes and had to pause while future Yoongi took over all their movements. Future Namjoon had Yoongi pinned to the bed, Yoongi’s hands above his head and tied to the headboard slats with what looked like Yoongi’s belt. Future Namjoon wasn’t being gentle as he bit across Yoongi’s neck and bare chest, the t-shirt he had been wearing bunched up around his elbows. Yoongi’s eyes screwed shut, as future Namjoon pushed Yoongi’s legs apart to fit himself between them. Future Namjoon seemed to know Namjoon was watching, as he lifted his head to make eye contact. He smirked a bit, obviously knowing how in shock Namjoon felt, and then leaned back down into Yoongi’s neck.
“Be loud for him, baby,” future Namjoon instructed, skimming his hands down Yoongi’s body and onto his inner thighs to grip them and pull them up to his chest so future Namjoon could thrust hard into Yoongi, the only thing between them their respective briefs.
“Ah!” Yoongi let out, pulling hard against the restraints. His hands didn’t budge and Namjoon held onto his thighs, not letting him squirm away from the pressure. Yoongi’s loud noises turned into gurgles as he struggled to gain control back from future Namjoon.
Namjoon was incredibly turned on by the sight, all of it going straight to his dick as future Yoongi kept up the slow, hard thrusts creating an intense pressure against his dick which was still trapped in his pants.
Yoongi was just taking what future Namjoon gave him, not able to fight for any control. Namjoon wanted that confidence, that rush of giving Yoongi pleasure and being the sole provider of that pleasure. He didn’t know how to ask for that, how Yoongi would feel about him taking over. Sure it was okay if older, more mature, wiser him did these things. Namjoon mentally put another tally in the This Namjoon Can’t Actually Be ME column.
Namjoon envisioned briefly himself trying to thrust smoothly into Yoongi, only for him to lose his balance, thrusting Yoongi up into the headboard and causing Yoongi to get a swift and painful concussion. Namjoon shook away the intrusive thought, just barely stopping himself from humming out loud to distract himself from the negativity in his brain.
“Do you want to join them?” Future Yoongi asked, running the hand that had pushed Namjoon’s head in their direction through his hair. Namjoon looked back at future Yoongi, all thoughts stopping in his head. Future Yoongi smiled at him. “I know Joon has something in mind.”
Namjoon nodded and surged up to kiss future Yoongi again, mostly making the kiss land on his mouth. Future Yoongi was insanely confident, yet calm, and it made Namjoon feel taken care of in a way he didn’t know he wanted. He felt like this version of Yoongi wanted to look out for him, make sure to put Namjoon at ease during this unfolding mayhem. He didn’t know if he felt the same about the other Namjoon.
“Let’s go then,” future Yoongi encouraged, pulling away from their kiss. He climbed off of Namjoon’s lap and pulled his hand to drag them over to the other pair. Future Namjoon looked up and eased off of Yoongi briefly to give Future Yoongi a deep kiss, grabbing his hair and tugged future Yoongi into him.
Namjoon could see their tongues and heard future Yoongi let out a breath softly before future Namjoon pushed him slightly back. He made eye contact with Namjoon and smiled, jerking his head back.
“C’mere,” future Namjoon encouraged. “I’m going to teach you how to prep Yoongi,” he said plainly, as if Namjoon didn’t feel like his insides were going to shake a part at the mention of topping Yoongi. The sentence, the idea itself, went straight to Namjoon’s dick like a rush of heat making him clench his stomach.
But also a sour feeling ruined the arousal. He was supposed to be the leader and to know what to do. He was constantly ten steps behind. This other, better, future, cool, sauve Namjoon was much better than him. It was like having the imaginary, perfect you that you compared yourself to in your head, the you that actually studied for that exam and aced it and the you that went to the gym constantly and maintained their perfect body, manifest into a real person. A side by side comparison for Yoongi, for himself.
Namjoon looked down at Yoongi, stilled tied up to the headboard, legs wrapped around future Namjoon’s hips. He was panting, eyes closed, his bare chest heaving. Namjoon nodded at future Namjoon.
“It’ll be okay,” future Namjoon leaned forward and whispered to Namjoon, a hand hovering over Namjoon’s shoulder before it brushed down his back.
“Yoongi, can you grab the lube?” future Namjoon asked, not taking his eyes away from Namjoon. As future Yoongi knee walked off the bed, future Namjoon reached a hand back, grabbing onto Namjoon and pulling him forward more. He shuffled back, letting Yoongi’s legs drop, positioning Namjoon between himself and Yoongi. “How’s that feel?” He asked, smoothing his hands down Namjoon’s sides, over his hips, down his outer thighs before going back up, pushing under his shirt to lightly brush up and around his body. On a pass, he repositioned Yoongi’s legs to drape over Namjoon’s spread thighs.
Namjoon pushed down the negatively and tried to focus on Yoongi under him, moving his hands to tentatively touch his stomach and drag up his body to his collarbones, brushing his nipples and making Yoongi softly gasp on his way up. Maybe he could do this. Yoongi’s eyes moved quickly around the room, from Namjoon’s hands, to Namjoon’s face, to future Namjoon’s hands moving around Namjoon’s body, to future Yoongi grabbing lube from god knows where behind them.
“You okay?” Namjoon double checked with Yoongi. A thought shot across his brain and stubbornly refused to leave- maybe he interrupted Yoongi with this Namjoon 2.0. He was really enjoying himself earlier with future Namjoon- the broader, more filled out, more mature, more confident Namjoon. Yoongi nodded, and tugged at his hands again.
“C’mere,” he asked instead, lifting his chin up in invitation. His eye contact with intense and sure. Namjoon quickly braced his hands on either side of Yoongi and leaned down, pushing Yoongi’s legs more out and up, brushing his mouth against Yoongi’s, suddenly feeling a bit shy. He was going to finger Yoongi. They hadn’t done this yet. He didn’t know if Yoongi had ever done this. Yoongi whined and lifted his head up to push into Namjoon’s mouth, pushing his tongue already into Namjoon’s mouth.
He felt a bit more at ease almost instantly. Yoongi wanted him, too. They’d been doing this for awhile. They knew each other. Namjoon knew this Yoongi. This Yoongi wanted him before today, before seeing this Improved Non-Beta-Testing Version Namjoon.
Namjoon let his body sag against Yoongi, his weight resting on the smaller man, his hands running up and down Yoongi’s sides. He felt future Namjoon shuffle in closer, running a hand up Namjoon’s back as he slowly leaned over him. Future Namjoon breathed on Namjoon’s neck, giving him open mouth kisses on the back of his neck as he slowly thrust into Namjoon’s ass.
Namjoon, who felt wholly unprepared for this having barely experienced blow jobs and dry humping, was overwhelmed as future Namjoon’s thrust into his ass. That, while completely enjoyable and inordinately good itself, also pushed him into Yoongi’s hips. There was so much attention and touch, Namjoon felt himself let out an embarrassing, high pitched “ah!” as future Namjoon repeated the rough motion. Namjoon panted into Yoongi’s mouth, no longer able to concentrate on their kiss. After having rapidly come down from the edge just a few minutes before, his body was thrust back into the pleasure quickly.
Future Namjoon continued to thrust into Namjoon, holding him down with one hand on his shoulder and one on his hip. Namjoon kept letting out choked noises as the heat built. He tried to keep the loud high noises to himself, but ended up still letting out grunts. Suddenly, he felt a hand card through his hair and slightly pull him up, his body unable to move as future Namjoon continued to hold him down. He opened his eyes to see Yoongi in front of him, and future Yoongi laid down next to him, holding his head up by his hair.
The hair pulling added another layer to the sensations building, but seeing Yoongi in front of him made Namjoon lose his breath. Yoongi had his eyes shut tight, mouth open and his head was turned into his bicep. He was struggling to breathe, either from sensation overload or from Namjoon being pressed down into him. He was let out small breaths, his body twitching under Namjoon with each thrust down. After a particularly hard thrust from future Namjoon, Yoongi threw his head back and let out a high pitched noise, his body tensing under them.
Namjoon felt so good, so overwhelmed and hot. He also felt a bit in the way. Was he making Yoongi feel good? He wasn’t really doing anything but laying between Future Namjoon, the actual person making Yoongi feel good, and Yoongi. He didn’t want to stop, his body twitching and unable to stop letting out pathetic noises, but he couldn’t help but feel unnecessary.
“I’m close, I’m close,” he warned sounding out of breath, body twitching under Namjoon and getting impossibly more tense until future Namjoon stopped thrusting and pulled Namjoon up and off Yoongi. Future Yoongi dropped his hand from Namjoon’s hair to push it through Yoongi’s and softly kissed his cheek.
“Shh,” future Yoongi encouraged, petting Yoongi softly. Slowly, his body unclenched and the tension left him. Yoongi panted, his chest heaving as he blinked open his eyes to look up at future Yoongi.
Future Namjoon leaned over Namjoon again, hooking his chin on his shoulder, and brushed his hands over Yoongi’s chest. “You’re doing very well, babe,” future Namjoon encouraged. Namjoon felt stiff, the only one not basically cooing at Yoongi. Surely Yoongi wouldn’t want this? Tough, in control Yoongi wouldn’t want to be praised like this? If they tried to praise him like this for anything he’d clam up and scowl. Yoongi’s eyes were huge now, staring at future Namjoon as he continued to praise him.
“Let’s get you out of these clothes, yeah?” Future Namjoon prompted, speaking to Yoongi while he pet his chest, but also patting Namjoon on the side with his free hand. Future Namjoon leaned back, pulling Namjoon’s shirt up and off before tugging on his boxers.
Namjoon almost fell back onto future Namjoon as he scrambled to get his boxers off. Future Yoongi just smiled and leaned up to grab onto his shoulder, stopping him from flailing. As he righted himself and slowly took off his boxers past his knees, future Yoongi turned back towards Yoongi and started to push his boxers down. Namjoon reached forward to pull them off too.
Namjoon felt shy looking down at a completely naked Yoongi. He felt exposed as well with no shirt or boxers on. He pushed away the urge to cover up and look away, maintain their privacy and stop this incredibly explicit intimacy. Did Yoongi ever really like this intimacy? With Namjoon?
“You doing okay?” Namjoon asked once he was done, looking up into Yoongi’s face. He almost chickened out of asking, not wanting to hear his voice in the charged silence and embarrass himself. Would they kick him out if he said the wrong thing?
Yoongi’s eyes were still huge and he nodded. Namjoon couldn’t believe he has Yoongi’s bare thighs over his own spread bare thighs. He could see Yoongi’s dick, balls, taint, asshole, everything. Yoongi squirmed a bit and got more comfortable, Namjoon’s hard dick brushing his balls. Namjoon held back from choking on his own spit but just barely.
“Yeah, I’m, uh, great,” he said clearing his throat. “How are you?” He asked, checking in with Namjoon as well. Namjoon nodded back.
“Yeah, good good,” he smiled, feeling a bit ridiculous now as they were both naked, about to have sex maybe? and with their future selves to have an orgy? Did it count as an orgy? Namjoon didn’t have time or mental bandwidth to contemplate the terminology.
“I’m glad you two are communicating during sex,” future Namjoon said from behind Namjoon again. Namjoon felt his own dick, now uncovered and slightly wet, drag up his ass and back as future Namjoon got snug up behind him again.
Namjoon didn’t get time to roll his eyes or feel insecure at future Namjoon’s comment before future Namjoon’s hands ran down his arms to grab his hands, smoothing them out on Yoongi’s inner thighs.
“Let’s get started with prep, yeah? Your dick is quite big, Yoongi is quite small, it’s just a necessary step,” future Namjoon said into Namjoon’s neck, hot breath spreading down and across his chest. Future Namjoon left one of Namjoon’s hands on Yoongi’s thigh and reach next to them to grab the small bottle of lube. He came back and grabbed Namjoon’s right hand to squeeze a dollop on his fingers, but he fumbled trying to handle the slippery bottle one handed and ended up dropping the small bottle on Yoongi’s thigh with a thwap . A bit of lube leaked out of the end onto Yoongi’s upper thigh, making him flinch at the cold viscous liquid. Future Namjoon jolted behind Namjoon, quickly wiping Yoongi’s thigh with the comforter.
“You want to make sure the lube covers all of your fingers,” future Yoongi encouraged without missing a beat, grabbing the bottle himself, pouring and spreading the lube around Namjoon’s hand. It was very wet- dripping down his hand and a bit on his wrist. He looked up and made eye contact with Namjoon and squeezed his fingers. Namjoon felt heat gather in his hips and pelvis again as future Yoongi basically jerked off his fingers. It was a lot.
When his fingers were covered in lube, future Namjoon grabbed his hand and moved it back to Yoongi’s body. “You want to get him used to you touching him here so he’s not so tense,” future Namjoon encouraged, having Namjoon’s fingers push down on Yoongi’s taint and down over his hole to spread the wetness. Yoongi above let out a gasp, his body jumping a bit and tensing under Namjoon’s fingers.
“Shh,” future Yoongi cooed again, quickly wiping off the excess lube on his hand on the duvet before smoothing his hand over Yoongi’s hair again. “You’re doing so well,” he encouraged, making Yoongi’s body relax. Namjoon continued to slowly pet around his hole and massage his taint, feeling his chin jut in concentration.
“Once he’s a bit more relaxed, you can start to push a finger in slowly,” future Namjoon instructed, fitting his hand over Namjoon’s to manipulate it to have one finger out, before slowly pushing it into Yoongi, just down to the first knuckle. Yoongi let out a breath slowly, future Yoongi still whispering encouragements to him and petting his head. Namjoon could tell that Yoongi was trying to not tense up, but naturally his body tightened around Namjoon’s finger.
“Slowly thrust in, trying to get a bit more in each thrust,” future Namjoon said, directing Namjoon’s movements at first with his hand on Namjoon’s hand and wrist, slowly taking Namjoon’s finger out about a centimeter before pushing back in, just past the first knuckle this time. “There you go,” he mumbled, kissing Namjoon’s neck in praise. He felt his ears heat up at the praise and intimacy. Namjoon took over after a minute of slowly thrusting into Yoongi, speeding up a bit as Yoongi’s thighs twitched on either side of him. Future Namjoon gave him another neck kiss in approval at that and squeeze his waist with the arm wrapped around his middle.
Namjoon looked up from his finger disappearing into Yoongi to watch Yoongi’s face. He was staring at Namjoon’s hand, not able to see the fingers but able to see the motion of his hand going back and forth, in and out. Namjoon experimented going a bit further, his finger completely going inside Yoongi, and his hyung let out a rumbled moan, his eyes shutting at the sensation.
“Want to add another one?” Future Namjoon asked into Namjoon’s neck. Future Yoongi moved a hand over Yoongi to reach Namjoon’s thigh and gave him an encouraging squeeze. Namjoon nodded and moved his middle finger up next to his index finger, pulling his index finger almost all the way out before adding the middle finger. Yoongi grunted softly, feet flexing on either side of Namjoon as he got used to the new sensation. Future Yoongi leaned over and kissed across Yoongi’s collarbone, nipping softly at the skin on his neck so not to leave a mark.
Namjoon started over with the slow thrusts, slowly getting deeper inside Yoongi. He was so warm and wet inside and Namjoon’s dick twitched with the thought. He was a bit sweaty already with future Namjoon behind him, hard dick right up against his back, future Yoongi touching his leg and laid right beside him, and Yoongi under him. So many noises, so many hands, so many dicks all around Namjoon, he felt his balls tighten under him. Future Namjoon’s hand was so close to his dick, just an inch up and he could be brushing up against him.
“You can go a bit harder babe,” future Namjoon said, nudging his hand into Yoongi further and quicker. Yoongi let out a choked sound and opened his eyes and made eye contact with Namjoon. “Go in and curl your fingers,” future Namjoon instructed further, thrusting his hips lightly as if in demonstration against Namjoon’s back. Namjoon felt his ears burn a bit with the sensation, suddenly picturing future Namjoon fucking him while he fucked Yoongi, before nodding to show he’d heard future Namjoon and also to clear his head. He had to focus on Yoongi.
He thrust in firmly and when fully inside Yoongi, curled his fingers slightly, causing Yoongi to squeak and tense around his fingers, legs jerking on either side. Namjoon paused, looking up at future Yoongi who was murmuring in Yoongi’s ear and petting down his chest again, not paying attention to Namjoon.
“Keep going, keep going,” future Namjoon said, pushing again against his back, distracting Namjoon momentarily. He nodded again, thrusting his fingers and curling them as before, keeping up with this new rhythm. Yoongi’s eyes were squeezed shut and he kept letting out these small, choked noises.
Future Namjoon took his hand off Namjoon’s, still slightly wet with the excess lube, and grabbed Yoongi’s dick, stroking him. Yoongi made a distressed noise, his body shuddering and feet flexing. “Don’t hold back, babe,” he encouraged Yoongi.
Namjoon lined up a third finger unprompted, slowly pushing in again. Future Namjoon was still slowly, softly pulling Yoongi’s dick. At the third finger and the simultaneous pull from future Namjoon, Yoongi bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut. He quickly released his lip so he could pant into his bicep, constantly twitching and moving as if he didn’t know what to do or how to handle the multiple sensations.
“You’re doing so well, babe, but I need to hear you,” Future Namjoon continued, giving Yoongi two good firm pulls, causing Yoongi’s body to tense and had him letting out a quick, “Ah! Ah! Ah!” as future Namjoon and Namjoon continued to touch him.
When Yoongi started to shudder and tense more, his thighs clenching almost trying to come together if not for the two Namjoon’s between his legs, future Namjoon let go of his dick and squeezed Namjoon’s hip.
“I think that’s good,” he decided. Namjoon looked back at him briefly before nodding and pulling his hand out of Yoongi.
“You ready, babe?” Namjoon heard future Yoongi ask Yoongi, petting his chest still. Yoongi panted, his arms still tied up, his dick almost red now, his body coming down a bit but still twitching and shuddering. Yoongi blinked his eyes open at future Yoongi and nodded. He looked up at Namjoon and they made eye contact before he smiled slightly, encouraging Namjoon.
“What’s next?” Namjoon asked, looking back at future Namjoon. He reached back over for the lube, squeezing out another dollop, this time into his hand which he then proceeded to spread all over Namjoon’s dick. Luckily this time he didn’t drop the bottle. Namjoon’s body jerked, shocked at the full sensation on his dick after so long. After future Namjoon finished spreading the lube all over his dick, he wiped his hand on the duvet and slapped Namjoon’s ass lightly.
Namjoon looked down and made eye contact with Yoongi, raising an eyebrow to check in one last time. He thought over several different sentence and questions, wondering what the right thing to say was in this situation but decided to be quiet. Yoongi nodded and future Yoongi leaned over to give him a kiss. Namjoon felt future Namjoon lean over his shoulder again, turning his head to bury it in Namjoon’s neck.
“You’re fine, you know? Just always check in with Yoongi,” future Namjoon encouraged before biting softly on Namjoon’s lower neck. “Okay, so you don’t want to ram in there, yeah? I’ll guide you.”
Future Namjoon, already snug up behind Namjoon, scooted impossibly closer, pushing Namjoon’s legs out wider to accommodate him. Namjoon could feel his dick hot and hard between his ass cheeks, a bit of wetness smearing from the top of his dick onto Namjoon’s butt. Future Namjoon grabbed a hold of Namjoon’s hips with one hand and Namjoon’s dick with the other.
“Let’s go slow,” future Namjoon instructed, his hips pushing forward and doing all the work. Once Namjoon’s dick with up against Yoongi’s tight hole, they paused for a minute before future Namjoon started again, slowly pushing Namjoon’s dick into Yoongi.
It was hot, it was tight, it was every cliche Namjoon had ever heard any porn actor say, as that was the only vocabulary he had to describe the experience of finally fucking Yoongi. Namjoon looked back up at Yoongi to see him staring down at where future Namjoon grabbed onto Namjoon’s hip, holding his breath as future Namjoon slowly pushed Namjoon’s dick further into him.
Namjoon himself was holding his breath, leaning back against future Namjoon, letting him control the situation completely. Once he was fully in Yoongi, future Namjoon paused, letting Yoongi get slightly adjusted, before grinding softly into Namjoon’s ass, in turn making Namjoon grind his dick inside Yoongi. Namjoon let out an embarrassingly loud noise as Yoongi clenched slightly around him. Namjoon let his head fall back against future Namjoon’s shoulder, letting the hot and tight feeling of Yoongi around him and future Namjoon crowding around him completely consume him for a minute, the heat in his pelvis rapidly building and making him want to thrust into Yoongi more. Future Namjoon’s hold on his hips tightened, not letting him move, which made Namjoon let out another embarrassing mewl.
“Look at what you’re doing to him,” Namjoon heard future Namjoon say to Yoongi. “How does he feel, babe?” Future Namjoon asked, pulling Namjoon slowly out a bit before pushing him back in slowly. Namjoon’s hands flew to future Namjoon’s hold on his hip and future Namjoon’s hip where all the control was coming from.
Namjoon let out a breathless “tight” as he moaned, no blood in his brain to stimulate anything complicated or poetic about the feeling. He was in no way going to last long. Future Namjoon continued to slowly control his thrusts, making them measured and even and torturous. Namjoon could hear himself making high, broken sounds, but he wasn’t the only one. He could hear Yoongi moaning at the slow, deep thrusts. Namjoon lifted his head just enough to be able to look down at the scene below him.
Yoongi was no longer looking down at where Namjoon was thrusting into him, but instead had his eyes closed again and was panting quietly between moans. His arms were tense, pulling slightly against the restraint, which made Namjoon’s stomach clench. Yoongi couldn’t touch, couldn’t move. Namjoon, or well future Namjoon, was in control.
Future Yoongi’s eyes, as opposed to Yoongi’s, danced all around the scene: taking in Yoongi’s face and tense body, legs up and around Namjoon’s thighs; Namjoon’s lax and shuddering body sandwiched between Yoongi and future Namjoon, overwhelmed with the feeling of fucking; and finally at future Namjoon who was in control. Namjoon could feel his hard dick grinding with each thrust into Namjoon’s ass, his strong and thick thighs clenched on either side of Namjoon’s legs, and his large hands spread over Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s hips to control their speed.
“This is so fucking hot,” future Yoongi grunted, pushing a hand that was in Yoongi’s hair down to his own dick. Future Namjoon’s hand shot from Namjoon’s hip to future Yoongi’s hand.
“Not yet, babe,” future Namjoon instructed, shaking his head. Future Yoongi groaned and rolled his eyes but complied. Yoongi’s eyes flew open to watch the exchange and Namjoon made eye contact with Yoongi, holding onto his gaze.
That was so fucking hot, Namjoon thought. Future Namjoon was controlling everyone in this situation- Namjoon, Yoongi, and even future Yoongi. He wasn’t even touching future Yoongi, but he still was in charge of his pleasure. Namjoon wanted to shoot off the earth.
It looked like Yoongi felt similarly, as his legs flexed, thighs jumped, and he let out whine. He pulled at his restraints and his hips stuttered, making his cock jump on his stomach where it had left a couple of sputters of precum. Future Namjoon grabbed back onto Namjoon, not letting him thrust sloppily into Yoongi like he wanted.
“Just a bit longer babe,” future Namjoon said, thrusting particularly hard against Namjoon and Yoongi. “Enjoy it for a bit longer, yeah?” It wasn’t clear to Namjoon if he was speaking to Yoongi or future Yoongi, but they both nodded regardless.
Future Namjoon increased the pace of the thrusts, making Namjoon let out a panicked whine. He was getting alarmly close alarmingly fast and it seemed like no one else in this equation was anywhere as far gone as him.
“Not yet, Namjoon,” future Namjoon encouraged, his hand leaving Namjoon’s hip to press down on the space just above Namjoon’s dick. It was like he was pressing into Namjoon’s bladder and it didn’t help his need to come at all, only pushing Namjoon closer to the edge. “Clench here, yeah?” future Namjoon instructed, grabbing his hips to slow the thrusts again and then pull him out of Yoongi completely.
Namjoon clenched down, as if he was stopping himself in the middle of a pee, and felt the need to come recede in his body. “Good job, babe,” future Namjoon encouraged, reaching down and gripping just under the head with his thumb and first two fingers, squeezing his dick. “This is also helpful to stop an orgasm.”
Namjoon nodded and watched his body, feeling the impending orgasm recede and his body relax. “Jerk him off,” future Namjoon instructed future Yoongi, nodding towards Yoongi’s dick which was turning red at the tip as Future Namjoon guided Namjoon back into Yoongi and started to slowly and firmly thrust again. Namjoon closed his eyes and leaned his head back on future Namjoon’s shoulder, trying desperately not to come quickly as the need rapidly built back up in his stomach, clenching down again and then trying to relax completely. The sound of Namjoon’s hips slapping the back of Yoongi’s thighs and his ass was obscene, especially coupled with Yoongi’s high pitched “ah’s” that he let out with each hard thrust and slap. Future Yoongi nodded and reached across to hold his hand in front of Namjoon. Future Namjoon tapped his hip and Namjoon blinked his eyes open to see future Yoongi’s hand hovering in front of him.
“Spit,” future Namjoon said, kissing along Namjoon’s neck, biting softly. Namjoon whined and nodded, leaning forward to spit into future Yoongi’s hand. “Very good, babe,” future Namjoon praised, stroking Namjoon’s lower stomach.
Future Yoongi reached down and immediately started working Yoongi’s dick, stroking at a quick pace, not holding back. Yoongi let out a hurt noise, a high pitched whimper, and jerked against Namjoon. Namjoon felt himself rush towards the edge with the new combination of noises and let his eyes close and dropped his head back.
Future Namjoon’s dick was still grinding into his ass still and Namjoon felt his ass clench at the thought of future Namjoon fucking into him.
“Is that what you want?” Future Namjoon asked, his hand holding Yoongi’s hip lifting and gripping one of Namjoon’s ass cheeks. He squeezed the flesh before moving it aside to more firmly press his dick in, Namjoon’s hole clenching and his throat let out a high whine at the thought of him fucking into him.
“Are you close?” Future Yoongi asked and Namjoon nodded before cracking open his eyes to see future Yoongi was speaking to Yoongi, not him, and was now hovering over the man. “Don’t hold back, he likes to hear you,” future Yoongi encouraged, not letting off of Yoongi’s dick. Yoongi jerked hard against Namjoon and let out a desperate, high moan.
The thrusts were getting slightly erratic now, with both Namjoon and Yoongi shuddering and twitching against each other and future Namjoon unable to stop them anymore to keep their movements smooth. The sounds in the room were so loud , from Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s hips slapping together, to the noises they were making, to the bedsprings starting to squeak as the headboard hit against the wall repeatedly. Namjoon was desperately clenching his pelvic muscles, wanting to delay the orgasm as much as he could, but he couldn’t make himself slow down.
“C’mon baby, just come for us, yeah? You’ve been so good for Yoongi, for me,” future Namjoon encouraged, moaning and biting hard into Namjoon’s neck at the end of the sentences, thrusting between Namjoon’s cheeks.
Namjoon felt his entire body tense, a broken “Ah!” leaving his mouth as he felt himself start to come. His body was shuddering and tense, but future Namjoon continued to thrust behind him, pushing and pulling him in and out of Yoongi.
After a full minute, he felt a sharp pain travel up his dick as he continued to be thrust in and out of Yoongi, despite his softening cock. He whimpered, curling in on himself, and future Namjoon gently grabbed his hips with both hands, pulling him fully out of Yoongi, pushing him further up Yoongi’s body. Yoongi made an upset noise as Namjoon’s cock being pulled out. Future Yoongi leaned back to Yoongi’s side as Namjoon took his place hovering over Yoongi. Yoongi leaned his head up, and Namjoon instinctively leaned down to kiss him, both sloppy with saliva. Yoongi broke off the kiss to let out a sharp cry, throwing his head back on the bed. Namjoon felt him jerk under his body. Namjoon looked over his shoulder to see future Namjoon slowly fucking into Yoongi.
“It’s okay,” future Namjoon encouraged, putting a hand on Namjoon’s hips to lower him so he was snug on top of Yoongi’s hips, his still hard cock humping up against his hip. Namjoon’s dick sent pulses of hurt overstimulation up his body as Yoongi’s body and hard dick thrust against his, but Namjoon didn’t move away. Not that he could with future Namjoon’s hand holding Namjoon down, holding him in place with a hand on his lower back.
Yoongi’s face stayed contorted in pleasure with his eyes squeezed shut, letting out a loud “Ah!” with every hard thrust from future Namjoon. His dick was leaking precum, smearing it on Namjoon’s hip and his own softening dick, mixing with the sweat collecting on their bodies.
Future Yoongi, unable to jerk Yoongi anymore, leaned close and ran his hand through Yoongi’s hair and whispered into his ear. “You did so well for Namjoon, took him like a pro he couldn’t help but come.” Yoongi whimpered at the words, shuddering under Namjoon. Future Yoongi briefly looked away from Yoongi’s scrunched face to look over Namjoon’s shoulder at future Namjoon, who was still thrusting even and hard into Yoongi. Future Yoongi smirked.
“Wanna know what will fuck up Namjoon even more, baby,” future Yoongi asked, looking back at Yoongi. Yoongi gulped and shakily nodded his head, obviously overwhelmed with all that was happening in him, over him, beside him. “Call him hyung. Can you do that for me?”
Yoongi gasped and nodded again, trying to take in a breath only to let it out sharply as future Namjoon hammered into him. He tried again and as he let out the sharp breath with the hard thrust, he managed a weak “Hyung,” that sounded more like a moan.
Future Namjoon groaned loudly and the thrusts became faster and harder, as Yoongi continued to let out “hyung’s” in time with the thrusts and the slapping noise of future Namjoon’s thighs and balls hitting Yoongi’s ass. It was becoming intense and hot, sweat and condensation of the hot breaths being exchanged adding another level of overwhelming sensation.
Yoongi’s body suddenly tensed and contracted, like he was trying to curl in on himself but couldn’t with Namjoon’s weight on top of him and future Namjoon pressing even more weight into him. His mouth opened wide, no sound coming out, as Namjoon felt the first spurt of come shoot and smear on his stomach and hip, future Namjoon still thrusting into Yoongi hard and rocking their bodies.
Yoongi let out a high pitched moan, his body shuddering. It lasted what felt like several seconds, the wetness collecting on his stomach and smooshing into Namjoon’s stomach, hips, pubic hair. Yoongi started to shy away from all touch and future Namjoon slowed his thrusts until he was barely rocking and grinding into Yoongi. He leaned down and kissed Namjoon’s upper back in between his shoulders.
“You two did such a good job,” he said into Namjoon’s shoulder. Namjoon buried his face in Yoongi’s neck, not sure what else to do but feeling suddenly exhausted and sweaty and just messy.
“You both were so good,” future Yoongi agreed, kissing the other side of Yoongi’s neck. Namjoon suddenly felt Yoongi’s shoulder relax, the man letting out a relieved huff, as future Yoongi released him from the belt.
Future Namjoon lifted himself off Namjoon’s back, pulling Namjoon’s hips up and straightening Yoongi’s legs, his knees and hips giving distinct cracks . He gently dropped Yoongi’s legs and Namjoon slowly lowered himself back down, not having the energy to move, not even lifting his head out of Yoongi’s neck.
Namjoon didn’t know how much time had passed, just trying to catch his breath and take comfort in Yoongi, before he heard the distinct sound of kissing. Like lots of spit and tongue kissing.
Future Namjoon is straddling future Yoongi, one hand holding one of future Yoongi’s above his head, the other holding his face where he wants it. Future Yoongi is already whimpering and squeezing the duvet with his free hand,
Future Namjoon separates from future Yoongi, a string of spit stretching between them until they’re half a foot apart where it breaks.
“You were so good, too, right babe?” future Namjoon comments, staring directly at future Yoongi, who nods in response. Future Yoongi whimpers as future Namjoon grinds into his hips. “You’re not going to last long,” he comments, see future Yoongi’s desperate face and whimpers.
“I’m going to last long enough if I remember correctly,” future Yoongi huffed, a touch of playfulness entering his tone as he bucked his hips up into future Namjoon. He rolled his eyes in response.
“What do you want tonight? What should we show them?” future Namjoon asked, raising an eyebrow and nodding at Namjoon and Yoongi, who were both watching unashamedly. Future Yoongi didn’t look away from future Namjoon.
“Nothing too extreme for them, yeah? Don’t want to scare the children,” he answered, smiling again. Future Namjoon groaned loudly.
“Please don’t call them children, I just fucked them,” future Namjoon said, leaning down to capture future Yoongi’s other hand and push it above his head to join their other intertwined hands. “And we’re about to fuck in front of them.”
“Yah, you know that’s going to barely happen,” future Yoongi smirked. “ Hyung ,” he gasped in an obviously fake, loud moan. Future Namjoon turned red but then leaned back and let go of future Yoongi’s hands.
“Flip over,” he directed, shoving at future Yoongi’s hip. He did as instructed, flipping over onto his stomach. Future Namjoon quickly shoved his boxers down just under his ass, giving it a hard slap. “Not too scary, yeah? Just hot.”
“Sure, hyung,” future Yoongi said, raising onto his elbows and looking over his shoulder. Future Namjoon let out a soft tut and pushed future Yoongi back onto the bed, grabbing his hands and placing them on his lower back, holding them there with one hand.
“Namjoon-ah,” future Namjoon said, suddenly looking over at the two collasped boys. “Hand me that belt.” He nodded quickly, grabbing the belt in front of his face, next to Yoongi’s head, and handed it to future Namjoon.
He wasted no time, restraining future Yoongi’s wrists together behind his back.
“Talk about this more with each other later, but I’ll let you know that Yoongi is really into being held down,” future Namjoon said quickly, not looking up from future Yoongi as he finished buckling off the belt. Namjoon felt Yoongi shift a bit under him, huffing out a breath but not moving to out from under Namjoon’s dead weight.
Future Namjoon reached down to quickly push Yoongi’s boxers off the rest of the way, grabbed the lube and slicked up his fingers again. He didn’t waste time before pushing two fingers into Yoongi right away. Namjoon idly wondered when the extensive prep wouldn’t be necessary anymore.
“Okay, okay,” future Yoongi said after he had pumped his fingers for only a minute. Namjoon felt like surely that wasn’t enough and didn’t align with the earlier instruction, but future Namjoon just took his fingers out and wiped the excess lube on his dick before squirting another dollop of lube straight onto his dick and spreading it generously. It all seemed much more rushed and hurried than the previous round, the tension thick.
Future Namjoon lined himself up and pushed in, slowing the speed back down as he worked his way into future Yoongi slowly. Future Yoongi’s shoulders sagged, his entire body relaxing as future Namjoon’s dick worked its way into him. He let out a loud breath as future Namjoon’s hips hit his ass, ending it in a whine as future Namjoon let a light slap hit his ass.
“C’mon babe, work back,” future Namjoon instructed, holding as still as possible as future Yoongi shifted and shoved back as much as he was able with his hands behind his back. Future Yoongi whined and made almost ten cut off, disappointing thrusts back with barely any movement before future Namjoon gave him a considerably harder slap, future Yoongi’s ass jiggling against his hips. Future Yoongi paused his thrusts and let the tension drop out of his body again, shoulders sagging and back bowing leaving his ass in the air.
Future Namjoon slapped the same spot hard again before quickly picking up the pace. He put a hand on future Yoongi’s lower back and another on his hip, holding him down and ass up as he rammed quickly into him. His ass jiggled and light slapping noises sounded with each of future Namjoon’s thrusts. Future Yoongi let out quick whines with each thrust, almost an echo to Yoongi’s sounds from earlier.
Namjoon felt aware of Yoongi under him, both of them silently watching the scene play out in front of him. Namjoon felt the beginnings of arousal start to heat up in his stomach but his dick twitched painfully against Yoongi’s hip. He knew Yoongi felt his dick move and felt his face heat up, not at the extremely explicit sex their future selves were watching in person, but at Yoongi knowing he was aroused by it. A touch of shame, a fear of vulnerability clouded his mind, almost making Namjoon get off Yoongi.
They just made a hot picture- two men fucking each other hard right in front of him and grade-A audio. It was like watching the best porn ever but without any niggling thoughts about if the actors really were enjoying themselves or if it was just for the money. They truly were losing themselves in each other, unexpected whines and moans loudly echoing. Bodies tensing and shuddering to get closer and further from the overwhelming sensations, sensations Namjoon had just experienced.
And the biggest part of it all- it was Namjoon and Yoongi. Fantasies he had, which only he knew he wanted to experience were being enacted right in front of him. Because he was coming up and directing the porn- him from the future at least. And the casting with himself and one of the hottest men on the planet: Yoongi.
But Yoongi must know that that was part of it. Not only was he extremely aroused by these two men fucking (no shocker there) but that these two men were them . If fucking him didn’t give it away, he really liked the idea of them together and continuing this arrangement. He wanted Yoongi specifically. And he didn’t know how he felt about letting Yoongi know that, letting this potential hurt surface.
“I’m not going to be able to go another round until later, Namjoon-ah,” Yoongi huffed a bit of a laugh and patted his hip softly, not taking his eyes away from the other two. Namjoon felt the shame dissipate a bit, his vulnerability reciprocated, and tension he didn’t know had stiffened his body released.
“Fuck,” future Namjoon let out softly, still hammering future Yoongi into the mattress but now at a slower yet firmer rate. There were multiple trails of sweat going down the side of his face, going down his neck and his torso. Namjoon didn’t understand the stamina, feeling exhausted from just being pushed along earlier.
The two of them were getting desperate, high keening noises heard from future Yoongi and future Namjoon letting his head fall back, throat exposed, as he kept his thrusts firm and even. Future Yoongi’s body jerked, future Namjoon held his hips secure as he seemed to try to squirm away, his face screwing up.
Future Yoongi went still and suddenly quiet but his mouth was wide open. He finally released some tension in his body, shuddering and groaning loud and low. His body was still jerking and shuddering as future Namjoon thrust a few more times, stopping deep inside him and letting out his own low groan as he came inside future Yoongi.
Future Namjoon let futre Yoongi go lax and collapse on the bed, still panting and body twitching a bit. He ran his hands down his back slowly and let future Yoongi’s hands out of the restraints. His arms immediately fell to either side of his body as he regained his breath, eyes shut as he came down. Future Namjoon leaned down to kiss his back between his shoulder blades, gently rubbing over future Yoongi’s arms and shoulders to revive the circulation.
Namjoon didn’t know why even now, with people he should trust irrevocably, he still felt a bit awkward and out of place.
Namjoon felt simultaneously sleepy and wide awake, still half on top of Yoongi. He stared at the older versions of them, future Yoongi smiling softly at future Namjoon, both still panting. Yoongi had never in his life softly smiled at Namjoon. Maybe their future wasn’t set. There was no way that could be in their future.
Future Namjoon quickly kissed future Yoongi before sitting up and making eye contact with Namjoon, jerking his head off to the side. “C’mon.”
Namjoon nodded and got off of Yoongi, not looking at him or kissing him as he got up. His body felt tense and getting up took effort, his muscles wobbly and already a bit sore. Future Namjoon watched his stretch his legs as he stood up and laughed lightly at him, shaking his head.
“Start pilates, kid,” he suggested. They walked over to the mini bar and future Namjoon grabbed the two water bottles sitting there.
“We can’t-” Namjoon started, afraid of getting in trouble for using the expensive mini bar items, having been told by the managers in the past not to use them if they could help it. Future Namjoon just looked up and smiled at him before bending down to grab future Yoongi’s discarded jeans and pulled a wallet out of the back pocket, throwing a few bills on the counter. Namjoon nodded and felt his ears burn.
They were different.
“After intense sex, check in with each other,” future Namjoon began, walking back to the bed to climb back on in between future Yoongi and Yoongi. He handed them each a water bottle. He placed a hand on both of their chests, obviously wanting to touch them in some way, be close to them. Namjoon stood naked at the end of the bed. He didn’t know where he fit on the bed.
“Or just always check in with each other,” Future Yoongi suggested as he repositioned himself to sit up on the bed, back resting on the headboard. A couple of joints cracked as he moved. Yoongi copied his movements to have his back against the headboard and scooted over closer to the side, patting the space he’d created between future Namjoon and himself. Namjoon ducked his head and shyly crawled back onto the bed, feeling his soft dick swing as he ungracefully got back up. He turned to rest his back between the two. Future Namjoon threw an arm around him, squeezing him close for a brief minute.
“Yeah, I mean, trust each other. Actually talk to each other,” future Namjoon agreed, sitting forward to look at Namjoon and Yoongi as he spoke. “Namjoon, trust Yoongi, trust yourself. Being a leader doesn’t mean knowing what to do by yourself. You will need help.”
Namjoon looked away from his older self and back a Yoongi briefly. They made eye contact and held it, just for a minute, before Namjoon looked down at his lap. He didn’t need a reminder that he was less than this future Namjoon.
“God, you have so much to learn,” future Namjoon said softly, shaking his head. Namjoon stopped himself from rolling his eyes but felt his jaw clench and jut out. He was less than, immature, couldn’t have a hope of surviving. Future Yoongi sighed and patted future Namjoon’s thigh.
“I don’t want to say everything will be okay and easy, but it’s okay if you don’t know what to do or you’re not in complete control, both of you. Look for help,” future Yoongi continued in his slow, measured voice. “Lean on each other.”
Namjoon felt like the message was still trite, still felt like he was awkward, still didn’t think he was doing a great job with the whole leader thing. But maybe he felt a bit less like all of those things, felt his jaw unclench, as Yoongi passed the water bottle to him and rubbed his bare thigh.