"So, like, are you actually gay?" Connor asked Jude nervously as he picked the corner of the sleeping bag he was currently sitting on top of.
Jude looked up at the roof of the tent. He could see the shadows of bugs gathered on top thanks to the flashlight he was holding. It was dark outside, and they were technically meant to be asleep, but instead he and Connor were sitting on top of their sleeping bags, talking in their pyjamas.
"Uh, I don't really know. I might be?"
"How do you, um, how do you find out?"
"I- I don't know?" Jude stuttered. "Kiss a boy maybe? See if I like it?"
Connor looked up. "Wouldn't you have to kiss a girl too to compare it?"
Jude was startled by the sudden shift from staring at Connor's hair, to now staring at his face. His eyes couldn't help be drawn to the cut on his eyebrow.
"I don't know." He repeated. "I guess I just want to know if I like kissing boys. Girls don't matter so much right now."
They both looked down at their legs, fiddling with loose pieces of thread on their pyjamas. Jude couldn't stand not knowing where he stood with Connor. Were they still best friends? Was Connor freaked out by the fact that he might be gay? He was about to ask when-
"I'll kiss you. You know, if you want?"
"What?!" Jude couldn't believe what he was hearing. That is not what he expected Connor to say. What does he say back? Does he want to or-
"Okay." Jude breathed. Well, he guessed his heart made the decision for him.
They sat looking at each other for a moment longer, Jude still glancing at the bruise on Connor's face, until it was getting closer and closer and he was distracted by Connor's lips on his.
The butterflies Jude had been feeling since Connor offered to kiss him increased dramatically as he awkwardly placed his hands on Connors knees to balance himself as he kissed back. He wasn't entirely sure where Connor's hands were until they appeared on either side of his face, holding him in place.
'Not like I was actually going anywhere.' Jude thought.
Connor pulled back, flushed, hands still cupping Jude's face. Well he certainly knew how he felt but what about Jude?
"Um, so, do you- are you?" Jude panicked at Connor's question he had been too busy analysing every aspect of the kiss to figure out what it meant. Well he had a pretty good idea, but, you know.
"Do you, do you want to try again?" Connor whispered. Seeing the dumbstruck look on Jude's face. He could have smiled if he didn't think it would ruin the moment.
"Uh yeah. Please." Jude leaned in first this time, and let himself enjoy it. He took note of his feelings, how it felt to have Connor's lips against his, how it felt to have Connor's thumb stroking his cheek.
When they pulled away this time, they both had an answer they were looking for, even if Connor hadn't told Jude he was looking as well. They allowed themselves to smile and laugh while continuing to hold each other close.
"Do you have an answer?" Connor asked, more confident this time that Jude did.
"I think so, yeah." Jude smiled. Then he paused and looked at Connor's face, how happy he looked. "Do- do you?"
Connor didn't even need to ask Jude what he had discovered. He could see it written across his best friend's face. He also wasn't surprised that Jude had realised that he'd had questions of his own.
"Yeah." Connor laughed lightly, before turning serious. "You know you can't tell anyone about this. Not yet anyway. My dad will kill me."
Jude looked at Connor's wound.
"Yeah." He whispered defiantly. He didn't want Connor to get hurt anymore. "Of course."
"Good. Um. We should probably get some sleep."
"Uh, yeah that might be a good idea."
They were still looking at each other a minute later.
"Do you wanna, um, share my sleeping bag?" Connor asked. "It unzips to make a double cover. We can put yours on the bottom?"
Jude smiled at his possible boyfriend but still one hundred percent, absolute best friend.
"Yeah. I'd like that."