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Heartache

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The Titans all stood together watching the Amazonians take Donna Troy’s casket out of the hearse.

The air surrounding the group was thick with grief.

Dawn felt as though if she took a breath that was even a millisecond quicker, she would choke on the wave of intoxicating emotion.

She was holding Donna’s lasso in her hand, with her remark from less than a week ago echoing in her mind.

Man, I need to get one of these things.”

She could still hear Donna chuckling as clear as if she was standing right beside Dawn at that very moment.

When the blonde Amazonian approached her, she almost didn’t want to give up Donna’s lasso. She was clutching it, and Dick had to approach her and almost rip it from her grasp. She watched as Dick handed the Amazonian the last remaining piece of her best friend.

A silent tear slid down her cheek as she stood next to Hank, her anger toward him melting away as she watched the casket of her best friend, of the woman she thought of as a sister, was gently placed on a cart and rolled over the empty warehouse lot that was slick with that morning’s rainfall.

Her heart ached as memories of her best friend catching the tower that would have killed her and the helpless civilians (who were collateral damage from the CADMUS controlled Gar and Conner) played over and over in her mind.

Donna Troy had been fatally electrocuted, and not a minute passed by that Dawn didn’t blame herself for it.

She squeezed her eyes shut, weakly attempting to keep more tears from streaming down her face.

She felt Hank rest his hand on her back, gently rubbing rhythmic and comforting circles back and forth, the same way she had once comforted him when he had been distraught.

He pulled her into a close side hug that she didn’t (or couldn’t) refuse, and he pressed a kiss onto the top of her head.

“It’s not your fault,” He gently murmured. She shook her head in response, pulling away from him.

Her eyes fell on Jason Todd, who sat on his motorcycle across the lot.

His eyes met hers, and she tried to give him a gentle smile, as if she were inviting him to join her and the rest of the group. She hoped he would put the fact that the other Titans had betrayed him aside for the day meant to honor the fallen warrior, but her heart sunk as he nodded his head in response, not daring to move closer to the group.

She wanted him next to her, because she knew what it was like to hurt like that. She knew he was probably hurting not just from the betrayal, but from losing Donna. Despite not knowing her for that long, the younger Titans grieved just as much as the original group. 

She watched as the Amazonians placed the obsidian casket inside of the cargo plane that would take it to the Themysciran burial grounds.

She tried to ignore the rumble of Jason’s motorcycle’s engine as Rachel got into the cargo plane that took off into the sky that glowed a golden color against the pale, grey clouds that threatened the depressing afternoon with another wave of rain.

————————-

She stood over her bed in her room, staring at the briefcase that contained her Dove suit.

Tears were dripping off of the tip of her nose and landing on the hard, silver plastic.

What Hank had said had shattered her heart into a million pieces.

He had the audacity to leave her, to go off and do drugs, to break her fucking heart, and then waltz in here and ask her for another chance.

She used his own words against him.

She spat “You said, ‘Maybe the world is better without Hank and Dawn.’ And maybe that’s how it should be.” at him as if it were poison on her tongue.

She didn’t know if she wanted to be Dove anymore.

She was lost and confused on if she still cared enough to join Hank on the field as his balancing factor when he fucked everything up - when he fucked her up - like he always did.

She sat alone in her grief-stricken delusions until she heard her bedroom door creak open.

“Hank-” She snapped. “If you don’t leave me the fuck alone I will rip your spine out.”

“Good thing I’m not Hank.” Jason said, quietly entering the room.

He awkwardly hung in the doorway, not wanting to get too close but not wanting to be too far away.

He noted how bad of shape Dawn looked.

Her usually neat, white hair was falling out of its lazily pulled back position. It hung in her face, which looked hollow and pale.

She looked as though she hadn’t stopped crying since the funeral, the skin around her eyes was red and puffy.

He also noticed the box containing her Dove suit was at her feet, and she wouldn’t look up at him.

She firmly kept her eyes on the box.

“Jason…?” She murmured. “You’re here?”

He nodded. He edged closer to her, and he sat next to her on the bed. He rested his hand on her shoulder, and she gently moved closer to him.

“I saw how distraught you looked at the….” He paused. “The…. y’know.” She sniffled.

“That’s my boy.” She said, giving him a teary smile. “Always caring for others.”

“Don’t tell anyone,” He replied. “I’m only here to check on the only person who gives a shit about me.”

A tear slipped down her cheek. He rubbed her back gently, and she pulled him into a hug.

When Jason wrapped his arms around her, the walls she had built up came crashing down.

She sobbed into his shoulder, much like he had done after Conner had rescued him from falling.

”It’s not your fault.” He said, trying to calm Dawn down. It broke his heart to see the woman who always looked calm, cool, and collected look like a mother who just lost her child.

S-she died protecting me.” Dawn stammered between choked gasps.

”You were in danger,” He replied. “I would have done the same.”

Her eyes met his, and she put her hand on his cheek, a smile pushing itself across her lips that were now wet with her tears.

He took her hand, and gently rubbed his thumb in comforting circles.

”Donna was like your sister. It’s going to be hard moving past it, but you will. You’re the strongest person I know.”

She smiled as he sat there quietly, letting the older woman grieve her friend, being the good son she deserved.