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Jack should have known better. Things were never easy or uncomplicated with the Doctor – or without him, come to think of it.

Which was probably why Jack suddenly found himself stuck in London in the middle of the 1980s without any clues how the hell he was supposed to get back to the Doctor. If it wasn't bad enough already, the fashion was just atrocious! For the life of him Jack couldn't decide which was worse, the shoulder paddings or the bright neon colours – or the combination of them both.

Well. Fashion wasn't really the thing Jack should be worried about. Apparently, the 1980's Earth was still a bit outdated when it came to sexuality. They kept on saying they didn't want to be infected with "gay plague", whatever that was. Honestly, Jack had only flirted a bit with the nice-looking young man at the bar, and suddenly things have taken a turn for the worse. He hadn't even tried to kiss the guy, and still they had locked him up for causing a disturbance. Sometimes Jack couldn't understand what was it the Doctor saw on Earth and its inhabitants.

Wait. That almost felt like… but it was also wrong somehow. It was the Doctor, or someone like him because Jack knew how it felt like when the Time Lord was nearby. Jack didn't have to wait for long – a petite woman with dark hair and blue eyes showed up, eyeing the cell critically. There was something… off about her, although Jack couldn't pinpoint what it was. Then their eyes met, and Jack knew instantly.

"You!" Jack hissed under his breath, all the memories of the Year That Never Was assaulting his mind. No. No way. This couldn't be happening to him, not again. Of all the people to show up when Jack was currently locked up, the Master really wasn't his first choice. The female regeneration was a bit surprising, but apparently the Time Lords couldn't really choose how they ended up looking once the cycle was on.

The Master smiled, just a little bit, but it was enough to put Jack on the edge. What was she playing at? Was this all a plan of hers? Jack was about to start demanding answers when a police officer arrived at the cell block. And then things definitely took a turn Jack could never have guessed.

"Oh thank god officer, there you are! Please help me, I need to get my boyfriend away from here!" The Master pleaded, batting his (Her? Their?) eyelashes and playing the part of the concerned girlfriend all too well. This was just weird, since last time Jack checked him and The Master weren't exactly on friendly terms. The Master was probably planning something sinuous, and if Jack was behind the bars he couldn't do anything to stop it. So it was better for everyone if Jack just played along with whatever The Master was doing, and hoped for the best.

A few embarrassing moments and shameless flirting (courtesy of The Master) later Jack found himself out of the cell with The Master on tow. Before Jack could ask for an explanation, The Master all but dragged Jack to the nearest café and ushered him to the table farthest from the door. Beverages and food appeared on the table, and the waiting game started.

Jack took his time to observe The Master – he wasn't sure what was going on, but he wasn't going to end up tied to some evil machination of The Master's choice.

"So, want to tell me what's going on Master?" Jack drawled lazily, pretending he had no care in the world. The more nonchalant he would appear, the more it would irritate the Master.

"Missy."

Jack blinked. Since when the Time Lords have changed their names with their regenerations?

Master… Missy rolled her eyes, looking Jack as if he were nothing but an insect.

"I can't believe I really have to explain this to you of all people. Missy, short from the Mistress. Can't really be called the Master with a body like this, now can I?" Missy purred.

Okay, Missy had a good point, and apparently Jack had spent too much time on Earth to realise what was in front of him. That still didn't explain why Missy had released Jack from the cell in the first place.

An explanation soon followed, and after hearing what Missy had in her mind Jack was amused and confused equally as much.

"So, let me get this straight. You need my help to convince UNIT that there's going to be an attack on the Tower of London by another alien, for reasons you're not telling me? And why exactly would I help you?" Jack asked, baffled. Since when Missy had needed any help?

Missy looked at him angrily, hissing something unintelligent under her breath. Jack raised his eyebrow and patiently waited if the Time Lady would actually answer him. Turned out Jack didn't have to wait for long.

"Because this planet is so backwards and outdated, they are not taking me seriously because of my current gender representation. There you have it, out in the open. Now, could we actually do something instead of blabbing?" Missy grudgingly admitted.

Oh. Well, that was something new. Who would have thought Missy would suddenly find herself in a situation where she was quite heavily underestimated based purely on something she had no control of? Maybe it would teach Missy some modesty.

And Jack would suddenly stop being immortal. Yeah right.

A familiar sound from outside made both Jack and Missy perk up considerably. It sounded like the TARDIS, but not quite. Only one way to find out, so the most unlikely pair in the known universe stepped outside to investigate.

Not the Doctor they were looking for, even if Jack had quite liked his previous encounter with the younger version of his Doctor. Still wearing the stupid piece of celery in his lapels, Jack noted amusedly. Even if Jack would have wanted to go and meet the younger Doctor, it wasn't possible. Not only did Jack not know if he had already met with the previous regeneration or not, he really didn't want to explain Missy's role in everything.

"He was so painfully naïve back then. Then again, he still is. Now, could we…?" Missy had already started moving in the opposite direction, making as much distance between herself and the other Time Lord as she could without looking suspicious. Jack sighed mournfully before turning on his heels and following Missy. It was going to be a long day.