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And if I were you, I wouldn't love me neither

Chapter Text

Standing in the shower with one of his hands pressed to the glass wall he’s still able to feel the weight of all that cargo on his shoulders. Sometimes it seems like he’s never going to get used to it.

The water clears up more the longer he stays there, motionless. He closes his eyes, but still sees all the new people, faces, falling apart into pixels of their holograms as nobody comes out to meet him in person.

Yet this is what they call a reunion.

And then there’s Higgs.

Coming up from behind every time so Sam manages only to notice a mixture of golden and red sparkles in the corner of his eye, but not to avoid the grip or clap or really any other type of touch that Higgs tends to bewilder him with.

Sam reckons the bastard does that just to put him on edge because he knows about Sam’s phobia. He judges by that look in Higgs’ eyes when he takes his mask off. He definitely knows.

A part of Sam wants Higgs to stop and stay away as far as possible. But another part wants to beat him up bare-handed. Then he thinks, maybe not exactly to beat up, he probably won’t be able to stop himself once he starts and he still has a promise to keep to Fragile. But to make Higgs feel uncomfortable, scared, miserable, yes, that’s it. Bastard deserves that.

Sam is already lying in his bed having troubles falling asleep when he hears it. The footsteps. Intending to be light and quiet but fail all the same. He’s got to know that sound too good by now.

It’s not the first time he appears in his private room. Sam’s body strains as he feels the unwanted presence, but he keeps his eyes closed and tries not to give himself away with his rapid breathing.

Suddenly he notes that the footsteps start approaching and yet he flinches as Higgs bends over him and clenches his shoulders. He drags Sam onto the floor, leaving his shackles attached to the bed.

His face is too close and he looks him right in the eyes when says

“You haven’t thought I would leave you for long, have you?”