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"First" date

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Ignorantia juris neminem excusat

Must be completed and returned to Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes no more than twenty-four hours following incident.

Case ID: #394 Status:  Restricted
Date of report: 25 May 2005 Date and time of incident: 24 May 2005, 19:47


Location of incident: Level Nine, Ministry of Magic, Whitehall, London
Parties involved: Auror H. J. Potter, Unspeakable D. L. Malfoy


Type of incident
☐ Accidental Magic
🗹 Charmed Relics
☐ Floo / Portkey / Apparition Incident
☐ Hexes / Jinx
☐ Magical Creature Attack
☐ Non-magical injury or near-miss
☐ Potions / Poisonings
☐ Unforgivable Curses
☐ Other
Action taken
🗹 Referred to Unspeakables
🗹 Referred to DMLE
🗹 Emergency Transport to St Mungo's
☐ No further action required
☐ Other, describe below:


Provide a brief description of the incident, if necessary use additional pages:

Following inappropriate workplace altercation of unknown reasons, parties activated a heretofore unknown charm on unidentified relic within the Reality Chamber. Concussive blast resulted in temporary unconsciousness of both parties, and destruction of relic. Unconsciousness lasted approximately thirty minutes. Upon resuscitation both parties suffered complete amnesia being unaware of themselves, each other, and their lives to date. Status of magical cores unknown: cores may have been drained by blast, or parties simply can’t remember that they are wizards.

Update: 25 May 2005 23:12
Both parties have left St Mungo's against medical advice. Current location unknown. Request DMLE instigate full missing persons search.

Update: 02 June 2005 15:35
Unspeakables have succeeded in reconstruction of unidentified relic. Full testing regime successful. Request DMLE increase search efforts.

Lessons Learned

Don’t leave the pair of them alone together!


Signed Hermione J. Granger-Weasley

“I don’t usually do this,” Harry said, spreading his legs wider so that Draco slotted between them neatly.

“What’s that?” Draco asked, between the trail of kisses he was leaving down Harry’s stubbled chin. “Bottom?” He pushed a little firmer on Harry’s hole with his thumb, “Could’ve fooled me, you’re a natural.”

“No, yes-” he cut himself off with a groan as Draco’s thumb popped through the ring of tight muscle. “On a first date.”

Draco lifted himself from where he’d been teasing Harry’s left nipple, “Oh darling, that wasn’t our first date.”

“Buuu-” Harry’s argument descended into another moan as Draco pushed a finger in to join his thumb.

“It takes more than half a glass of pinot grigio to count as a date.”

Harry cast his mind back, that’s really all it was, they’d known each less than two hours. They’d seen each other across the bar, ordered a round, and left before either of them had finished. It felt stupid to say it felt like fate, or that they felt like they’d known each other their whole lives, but it did.

He just wasn’t going to say it out loud.

“Ready?” Draco’s question pulled him back into the moment.

He nodded, “Oh fuck, yes.”

Draco pulled his fingers free and wiped them roughly on the duvet, he ripped the foil packet open and rolled the condom on. “To first dates.”

Harry hiked his legs around Draco’s waist, crossing his ankles, “To first dates,” he agreed.

Draco set a punishing pace, which Harry met with every thrust. “Not gonna last, you feel so good.” He shifted his weight slightly so he could free a hand to wrap around Harry’s cock.

Harry hissed with pleasure, and after just three pumps with a twist at the end he came, thick white ropes splashing between them. That was all it took to push Draco tumbling over the edge with a satisfied gasp.

He got up, knotting the condom and wrapping it in a tissue as he dropped it in the bin in the corner of the room. He flopped back on top of the duvet and turned to Harry, “We’re doing that again,” he said, cocksure.

Harry returned his grin, “I’ll need twenty minutes.”

“Half an-”

A preternatural crack interrupted him. “Aah! What are you doing?” The ginger man who had just appeared in the bedroom squawked and covered his eyes.

“Boyfriend?” Draco asked reluctantly.

“No!” Harry and the ginger man said in unison.

Draco sat up and reached for his trousers, “Oh, husband.”

“Best mate.”

“Never seen him before in my life.” The pair of them said simultaneously.

“Are you decent yet?” The ginger asked, hand still firmly clamped over his eyes. “Need to get you home to your actual husband sometime tonight. You too ferret.” He pulled a glass and copper contraption full of red sand from his pocket and threw it on the floor with enough force to smash.

“What the hell Weasel?” Draco shouted, “Get the hell out of our bedroom!”

Ron just smiled and stepped back into the hallway, “You’re welcome, ferret.”