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Deer In The Headlights

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deer in the headlights

He had really not expected that messenger bag to be that heavy and robust enough to hurt his face. Nor did he realise that he looked like a creep in his casual goth attire at eleven at night. It was his daily attire, for God’s sake. Black ripped jeans, black graffiti t-shirt and black with red highlight hoodie. Oh, and his black gloves because it’s darn cold in November. 

All he had done was say hi.

He stared at the snowflakes swirling down from the frozen sky, his eye and nose throbbing pretty badly. He knew he looked like a scene, lying eagle spread on the light dusting of snow on the parking lot. The cold was comforting. He would live the rest of his life like an art installation here. The falling snow was a relief to the pepper spray that managed to get on his face despite his fast reflex. 

Yeah, he just tried to be a gentleman like his mum had taught him to be. He had seen that keychain fall out, he waited for a moment for her to react but she remained oblivious. He picked it up and tried to return her then and there but damn, for a small-ish girl, she was rather fast. 

He rushed to get her, she was already in the parking lot. A guy in hoodie running is bad. But he didn’t realise, stalking after a woman in a hoodie is even more sinister. 

What would mum say?

What would dad say?

Poe would laugh at his face for sure.

That’s it. He is not going home tonight.

But then Poe might call his mum and that’s a shit show he doesn’t need the front row seats to. 

The snow falling on him has accepted him as their own. He is one with the snow now. This is where he lives, this is where he dies. 

Oh, that tab in his head that plays songs at random moments has started up again. 

‘Hello, darkness, my old friend.

I’ve come to talk to you again…’


Ah, the pretty freckled, messy hair in three buns warrior goddess is speaking to him. Should he speak? Should he forget? He clenched his fists and realised he still had that keychain in his hand. Woe is him. Why did he have to have a crush on a girl he just met two hours ago? But then again, isn’t that what crush is all about. 

“I SAID--”

“Your keychain,” he said, holding out Han Solo with his Millennium Falcon Racing Car keychain. “They fell out of your bag. I was just returning them.” He didn’t meet her eyes as he said that. His day was already done. 

He will have the rest of the mini almond covered chocolates, play Owl City on loud and… Oh, hadn’t he planned to become one with the snow?

Damn his prior commitments. 

She gasped. 

She’ll feel bad now and will say sorry, shake his hand some more sorry and be on her merry way. At least, his dad’s miniature will be around to give her company. What a lucky inanimate object. His pops has still got it in him to woo twenty years old. 

What if she’s not twenty?

Meh, who cares now. 

She took the keychain and stared at it. Then back to him and then the keychain and then back to him. All the while, her face reddening slowly. 

It was quite a feat. Reddening face on such a cold day. But then again, blood rushes to the face to warm it. Or something like that. He just can't remember right now. 

"I am so sorry. I just thought--"

"That's alright. It was my bad. It's okay. You go home safely now," he replied, still not making a move to get up. 


Ben had closed his eyes. He did not want to see her walk away. 

"Let me help you up?" That angelic voice spoke again. 

Ben opened his eyes to find that sweet face peer at him with nervousness. 

"I am really sorry. I was just very spooked."

Ben just nodded at her still staring at her. She stretched her arm out to him and nodded at him. 

He grabbed her hand that was engulfed in his huge hand. Damn, she's tiny compared to him. His little feisty raccoon. 

Hey! He's not supposed to melt! He's ice! He's cold! He's irritating and freezing. He's one with-- he shouldn't have had those glasses of whiskey. 

He is a human; he can't become one with the snow. He'll die. And she's being nice. 

But maybe he is snow. Because God knows he's melting.

She looked tiny but she was strong. It was a bit of struggle- the parking lot was slippery, his body was aching from the cold (traitorous snow buddies!), the unpleasant tingling in his frosty appendages. Somehow, he managed to get on his feet. 

“I am really really sorry.”

“Please don’t apologise. I...forgot that--”

“You are a savior! Can I please make it up to you?” She implored with her Bambi eyes. He didn’t know that was possible in real life. She had such a beautiful face- big eyes, cute nose, those freckles (those freckles). He could go on and on but staring in reply to a question was not done. Benjamin Organa Solo will have to reply.


Wow, so articulate. So intelligent. 


He pointed his finger towards himself. “Are you sure you are asking me?” 

He knew who he is, how he looks like (he’s the owner of the aforementioned face, y’all). It did not hurt to ask about it again. 

“Yes! Shall I get you breakfast tomorrow? I really want to make it up to you.”

She looked so cute as she said that. He never stood a chance at that request. 

“Sure,” he said with a quirk of his mouth. 

She smiled as her face got red. 

It was called a lopsided smile, he later realised as he fished for his mobile to call an Uber. 

It was called a blush, he later realised as she dropped him home in her car. 

They had exchanged numbers. 

He smiled his best smile at her as she still fussed over his bruise and apologised over and over again. Said, she was carrying a spare carburetor in her messenger bag for her car. 

But hey, first love hits you hard. 

They had a moment when she held his bare hands. He, purposefully, removed his gloves to unlock her door. She touched his hand as he offered his to help her out of the car. She wanted to make sure he went straight to his house safely.   

They waved their goodbyes and he kept watching till her car was out of his sight.

Ben happily went up to the door of his apartment that he shared with his childhood friend, Poe and banged the door open. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold it the--Oh my god! What happened to you? Why is that cheek of yours so blue?! Why are you so wet?! Were you making snow angels or something? What happened to you?” Poe rapid fired his questions at Ben. 

Ben smiled a big smile, not really caring about the hurt signals his cheek is sending him. “I got asked out by a girl.”

“Oh my god! My baby is all grown up!”

“See you tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait.”

“Good night. Take care. And sorry again.”

“No apologies. And good night. Sleep tight.”



Ben’s heart stopped for a moment. He actually had to search for the heart emoji to reply back to her. But it was worth it.