He ran his fingers along his features, his eyes could have dug holes in his face if that was a thing. Seungyoun knows he isn't so good with words, but he knows well that the boy laying next to him is the only person who can make his heart pound this way just by simply locking his eyes, sleeping.
Seungyoun knows well, the labels forced them into the 'best friends' zone, yet he wished that this term included casually kissing Hangyul's face and telling him he looks beautiful whenever he felt like it. But he knows that it's not possible to do that without stepping past the friendship line, which scares him to hell.
The past two years were just a phase where he kept repeating to himself that it's fine to find your best friend attractive without being- you know, GAY. The other part of him made him feel the bitterness in his tongue whenever he brought this argument against himself, finding it quite ironic since he was claiming to be an ally, a supportive straight guy who accepts the LGBTAQ+ community. While in the other hand, he is having a total mental breakdown whenever he thinks about the fact that he is attracted to a guy.
Another argument he made was that he might just got affected by the fact that Hangyul came out recently. He has to admit, it changed the way he looked at him- and of course, it's not because that he just finally got an actual chance officially or anything.
Seungyoun knows, he have been an asshole for having such thoughts when he keeps smiling to his friend and telling him there's nothing to be ashamed of or to feel bad about, for being gay.
But it's finally the last three months where he got his sanity and decided to accept the fact that he is attracted to his 'male' best friend, Hangyul. It's not like it have changed anything in particular, but he feels much lighter after acknowledging the fact that he is attracted to men, and maybe he would label his sexuality further later.
All what keeps coming in his mind lately, is that he wants to kiss Hangyul, so badly. Especially at this moment, sleeping peacefully between his arms.
It's just funny to think about how Hangyul fell asleep after the gaming they have been doing the whole night. It took him just five seconds to fall asleep right after telling Seungyoun that he is still fully awake, and ready for their 12th round. He ended up curling in Seungyoun's bed, snuggling up the blankets, beside his best friend who saw that coming and was preparing to sleep already.
Hangyul is so into cuddling, and it's not like Seungyoun have any complaints, just waking up like this, with him in his arms, is so worth it to be honest.
He felt his heart clenching, them cuddling warmly like that made him picture themselves dating. Except the fact that they are not, and might never be.
"Are you done tracing my beautiful face? I know I am so attractive, yet it's so creepy you straight ass"
Seungyoun mini-panicked, but he managed to cover it up with a smirk.
"Having your gay ass holding onto me the whole night might have transferred some of the gayness to my body"
Hangyul finally opened his eyes and let out a laugh, his front teeth showing and they looked extra pretty now, Seungyoun noted.
Hangyul tried to playfully escape from Seungyoun's embrace, but it just made hold him more firmly. Hangyul, acting like he gave up, stopped struggling and held on his waist, just to make his best friend celebrate his victory for a short while.
He might blame it on his brain that hasn't gained full consciousness yet, because he knows that pecking his straight best friend on the lips isn't a well-planned strategy to win against him.
Well, it might not have been that bad of a strategy after all, since his best friend decided to give him his peck back, followed by many after, and he doesn't know how many exactly, he stopped counting at five.
Seungyoun doesn't know if he actually can kiss his so-called best friend, but that now he started, he doesn't seem to know how to stop. Hangyul plump lips were addicting for sure, he doesn't seem to get enough from pecking, licking and biting them, if anything, they made him even more desperate. He was holding Hangyul into his arms so tight that they might get knocked off oxygen in anytime now, yet he didn't care and he kept kissing him so hard, knowing that they are going breathless already.
Hangyul was the one who broke the kiss first, Seungyoun looked frightened, as if he was afraid that he just lived the dream of his life, and it was coming to end too soon.
The younger let go of Seungyoun's broad shoulders he was holding onto, just to cup his face, caressing his cheek gently, and Seungyoun finally got to calm from his short panic state. But who can blame him? He was new to all these sensations, and as if Hangyul understood him so well, he flashed him a reassuring smile.
"I am not going anywhere, we just need to breath to keep making out without accidentally dying"
And the following seconds felt like an eternity, they were looking into each others eyes, few chuckles escaping their mouths, no words exchanged but it felt like everything was just said.
Seungyoun was getting too impatient and started to lean in but he got a little flustered at how desperate he looked, Hangyul would have laughed his lungs out, but at this particular moment, it turned him on even more.
Hangyul sealed their lips again, this time he was taking the lead, kissing Seungyoun's lips as if he was longing for them so long, and after a while the kiss was getting deeper. Hangyul opened his mouth, giving Seungyoun the chance to slide his tongue in, and Seungyoun swears, this is what heaven actually feels like. His tongue was exploring every single inch of his mouth, brushing their tongues against each other in between. The younger seemed to enjoy it, judging by the moan that escaped from him, and it made Seungyoun stop, pulling back in surprise.
"Did you just-"
"Do you have to point it out so loud? I mean I am embarrassed enough already"
"You shouldn't be. If this is what you wanna hear, it made my heart escape a beat, I really mean it"
Hangyul felt his face heat up more, if that was even possible.
"Seungyoun, I think we should probably stop, I feel like I am using you, I am just kissing you for my own good"
"In using me, you mean as a prostitute?" Seungyoun said sarcastically, and his maybe-not-best-friend-anymore, laughed so hard that his eyes got filled with tears.
"No, no- that's- not what I meant" he said between his laughters.
"Then what, mr. very very bad boy" the older asked, getting really curious at this point.
"I like you hyung, and this kiss is a big deal to me, I feel it's wrong to kiss you just to please my own feelings"
Seungyoun was taken aback upon this sudden statement, it took him much effort to regulate his breath, yet he felt breathless and weak. Hangyul got worried that he might just have messed up everything. He knows they reached the point of no return, yet he had to do it right.
"I know that you are straight Seungyoun, I am not trying to push anything against you now, and you don't have to reciprocate my feelings, so don't feel bad about it please"
Seungyoun sensed the slight hurt in his tone, and maybe after all, Hangyul felt as hopeless as he did the whole time.
"Well I thought you would be smarter than me at least, aka the straight guy who just made out with you until his lips got numb, and is now cuddling with you in his bed." He couldn't but reply sarcastically at his 'friend'.
"Stop making fun of my two last brain cells, they are trying their best"
The older couldn't help but to kiss his pouty lips, and he almost went for a round two of kissing Hangyul until breathless but he held himself back.
"I guess I have absorbed all the gayness you radiated for the past two years, you have successfully made the guy who almost believed that being straight is in his DNA, to being so deep in love with the most handsome and attractive guy ever, Lee Hangyul" he was smiling so brightly, as if he couldn't help but to smile, so whipped.
"Then it's my pleasure to claim all the credit and in addition I would like to offer taking responsibility for being so hot by giving you the chance to be my boyfriend" Hangyul said while running his fingers through Seungyoun's hair, putting the other arm around his neck.
The latter responded by kissing him again, which led eventually to another round of making out. Yet this time they were more patient, the kisses were more gentle, slower, yet filled with passion. Now that they know they were in love with each other, the world felt like it was theirs.