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A Gift

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Everything is perfectly still and quiet in the room. There isn’t a single clock ticking or a fan buzzing - everything is calm and one could think no one is there. However, there’s a barely-there rustling in the blankets on the bottom bunk of the bed. The only light illuminating the room is the desk lamp placed on the floor, sinking the room into a deep orange light that spreads across the floor and the higher it gets the more it fades into black. Just the palest reflection of it reaches the bed where two frames are pressed tightly together. A blanket is tightly pulled over the two frames, mending them together even more despite their arms holding each other tightly enough.

After hours of silence, there are voices and rustling in the living room and the kitchen and Yunho reacts to them first. His arms wrap more tightly around San who is soundly asleep on top of him, Yunho’s chest being his favorite pillow. He knows at this very moment nothing and no one could tear the smaller man away from him - he wouldn’t let it. He doubted anyone would even try but he knew how fragile such idyllic moments are in their lives. In counted hours they can be pulled to another city, another country, into the studio or a meeting room to continue pushing forward for the sake of their dreams and aspirations.

A loud bang in the kitchen nearly shakes the whole dorm and the voices afterward vibrate through the still air. The sleeping blond moves as well but only to snuggle closer to Yunho and the latter can just quietly admire him. He runs his long fingers through the still ash-blond hair that will probably gain a new color rather soon. His fingertips just barely glide over the sharp features of the man. What a blessing it is to see his face every day, to be able to look at it this close and appreciate the smallest detail - from beauty marks to smile lines. It is a gift to be able to kiss the rounded nose and cute cheeks, the full lips, and the precious dimples and tell their owner how beautiful he is. At least for a few hours when there were just of them together he believed in those words.

With one arm Yunho still holds San close, having an almost childlike fear he could suddenly disappear, while his other hand continues to gently pat the seemingly sleepy man’s head. Nothing feels more perfect or right than this very moment and it is almost scary as one person could contain, could be everything Yunho has ever needed and would ever need. No wonder there is always this fear of losing him, of drifting apart at the back of his head as what would he do then.

Lips gently pressing against the middle of his chest pull him out of his thoughts and he looks down. Two barely open, deep mocha brown eyes look up at him from the messy blond curtain of hair. There is a barely-there, cat-like smile on San’s lips before he presses another kiss against Yunho’s skin and as if it would even be possible snuggles even closer.

“Hello,” he says in a deep, sleepy voice actually looking like a cat that is barely awake. “Do we need to get up?” he murmurs and pulls the blanket over himself a bit more, locking both of them in the blanket cocoon more tightly.

“Not for a while,” Yunho replies and he can almost feel San smiling. The latter moves up a bit, changing his pillow from Yunho’s chest to his shoulders, sneaking a kiss on Yunho’s neck in the process. He throws his leg more over Yunho under the blanket, completely wrapping around him and the closer he gets the closer Yunho wants to hold him. Even if closer is not possible he wants and needs more.

Despite a whine from the still sleepy blond Yunho rolls them over and while the smaller blond is still confused kisses him. The confusion disappears soon as San lets out a soft yet deep moan into the lip lock. His arms wrap around Yunho’s broad shoulders and he pulls him closer for the nth time. It is, was and always be a completely magical feeling for Yunho to have San just for himself like this.

He breaks away from the kiss just to look down at the now flushed cheeks, pated and shiny lips, half shut yet sparkling eyes. Oh, the expressions he has seen on these features just because of his actions - no one could ever imagine and in a very selfish way, in a very hopeful way, he hoped no one ever would. A sudden tap on the tip of his nose calls him back to reality.

“How come that when we are alone you are more in your head than at any other time?” San asks for the not the first time and Yunho still doesn’t know the answer to that. Maybe the always jolly golden retriever persona is left behind the door of their room and with San he could be himself. Maybe he felt a bit insecure about what the future would bring to them. Perhaps, how relaxed San is around him especially in private makes him more alert as he needs to protect the man he now has in his arms.

“I will tell you when I will know the answer,” Yunho smiles down at the man and receives a kiss in response.

“Okay. We have a lot of time to find that out,” San smiles and Yunho can only physically smile back. It is the only logical response that makes the smaller man giggle and reach his hands to Yunho's face. “The cutest bear cub,” San adds, his hands now cupping Yunho’s cheeks and squishing them gently. The nickname he heard once in a while snapped something in Yunho’s head and he almost hits his head on the top bunk as he sits up.

“Right! I have something for you,” he says seemingly out of nowhere and almost graciously gets his tall frame off the other man, out from under the blanket and out of the bed. Despite his naked state, as their afternoon didn’t start with a need to nap - not at all, he walks across the orange-lit room to the closet. He has nothing to be shy about as they have seen each other naked countless times. Even more for as many countless times they have touched, kissed, tasted and explored each other to the point they had no secrets, not a single thing the other doesn’t know.

He digs through the bags until he finds a rather large gift back hidden at the back. With it, in hand, he turns back to San. The latter has sat up, the blanket pooling around his middle, revealing the marks scattered over his torso here and there. If anyone will see them Yunho will be in a lot of trouble but he doesn’t really care. Now if someone saw all of the marks on San’s thighs the trouble Yunho would be in could be astronomical but they always manage to work around them.

He stares at the artwork before him - the perfectly defined lines of muscles carved in the lightly tan skin and completed with slowly fading traces of Yunho’s mouth and teeth - before he walks back to the bed. “This is for you,” he says as he hands the bag to the confused blond, partially getting back under the blanket next to San.

“For what?” he asks a bit confused and looks at Yunho with the most gorgeous sparkling eyes.

“When new schedules will start the manager won’t let us sleep together again so…” Yunho says and as he sees the up till now bright expression on San’s face fall he wishes he would have worded it differently. “I saw this and thought it could be of use,” he adds and encourages San to look into the bag. As he does his face lights up again and he scrambles to get the bag off the gift inside of it.

“Yunho…” he stares at the rather big, cream white teddy bear with a sunflower-pattern bowtie around its neck. It has a friendly smile sown on his features and large, amber-brown eyes looking right at the blond. From the sidelines, Yunho sees how San’s expression changes again - he bites his lower lip and his eyes sparkle differently in the orange light which is a queue for Yunho to move.

He scoots closer to San until their thighs touch under the blanket. His arms go around the man’s small waist, pulling him close and partially against Yunho’s chest as he rests his chin on the blond’s shoulder. “If you can’t hug me to sleep I think this could be the second-best thing,” he explains and presses a kiss against San’s neck. “What do you think?”

“I love it,” San nods and turns to Yunho. Without a single word, they move closer to share yet another kiss. “And I love you,” he adds between smile filled kisses.

The teddy is gently placed on the top bunk as the two on the lower one get wrapped up in each other once again. Quiet words of love and admiration are exchanged once more between gentle touches and heated kisses. While a substitute is not needed Yunho is determined to provide all the love he can to the man he can surely call his everything - his roommate, his soulmate, his one and only.