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Crush

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If anyone ever catch him in this position, he’d be dead. Well, no. He’s not sure he even wants to be caught death with this position. But still, here he is. Laying on his roommate’s bed, snuggling his face onto his roommate’s pillow, absorbing his roommate’s scent into his memory as much as he can inhale. God. At least he’s still fully clothed. Ray could still at least save some of his dignity.

Of course, he’s not that stupid. He’s been reading too much shitty romance novels to know that certain scene where the protagonist was caught ‘fantasizing’—among doing certain things—on their crush bed. And yeah, he’s been learning from those shitty romance novels that he should definitely stay fully clothed if he wants to do this. Not that he should be doing this in the first place.

But oh– Sue him! He’s very sexually desperate right now, and this roommate of his is just so, so fucking fantasy material. Dreamy alpha and all that shit.

Never, in all his 20 years old of life, that Ray ever thought he’d be crushing on an alpha. Because all the alpha kids in his school and the neighborhood he’s growing up with were all arrogant jerks who like picking fights to show off their dominance. Yes, he’s one of those nerdy omega kids who got bullied for a while, until he finally learned to fight in middle school. No one ever dared to mess with him again after he landed five alpha at once to hospital in seventh grade, and his equally rebellious mom never been prouder of him.

Still, the fact of the story remains: He dislikes alpha. He knows there’s a bunch of other polite alpha out there. But he just has had this negative view on alpha from early age that he loses interest in ever dating any of them.

That’s why, when his best-friend Emma introduced him to this super cute alpha searching for a roommate at the beginning of his college first year, he never, ever expected to be falling in love with the guy.

But the thing is, Norman is totally different from any of other alpha he’d met before—yes, even the polite ones. Norman isn’t only kind and respectful to anyone, but the guy is also cute, caring, and most of all, has a distinct witty sense of humor—God knows he’s weak for smart people. That, also the added fact that the guy is super pretty. Yes, “pretty,” you read that right. Ray never thought he’d describe any alpha as “pretty” but Norman definitely is. The guy’s an exotic mix of handsome and adorable—and fuck, Ray bets Norman could make money out of being a fancy high-end brands model if he wants.

Yes, Ray knows that he is weak for pretty people. He is weak for smart, witty people. And he’s definitely weak for the combination of both with added super nice personality and also such a sweet, sweet alluring scent. Fuck. He didn’t even believe that the guy was an alpha at first because he has this super, super sweet scent. It smells like an awesome mix of cinnamon and citrus. It also makes his knees going weak and his mouth goes dry every time Norman having a rut and Ray could smell his scent so palpable in the air of their whole apartment rooms for all week.

Just like last week, for example. Which is why Ray is currently drowning himself on his roommate’s sheets and pillows like a weirdo. Because Norman just finished his rut week two days ago and everything still smell distinctly of him. Also because Ray found that apparently himself is a pathetic coward when it comes to love matters.

Well, uh, okay. In his defense, there’s this cool alpha girl who always hanging out with Norman. Her name is Barbara, and everyone on campus know her because she’s one of the popular girls. Although Ray doesn’t know this girl quite well, appearance wise, Barbara is gorgeous. He won’t deny that. Also rich. Also probably very fun to talk to because many people like her. Unlike his own lame, nerdy self.

Ray could only cringe at his dumb crush. Stupid heart. There’s no way a cool alpha like Norman would fall for him.

God, please just let earth swallows him already.

Okay, no. He knows his mom and Emma will at least miss him. But at least, please, let him just get to enjoy his actually very much inappropriate fantasy here.

Ray inhales a deep breath again from Norman’s pillow, and he could feel his toes curling. Waves of pleasures enter his body even without him doing anything yet. His mind comes up with various imagines of what Norman could do to him. Or what he could do to turn the adorable alpha into a mess. Honestly, he isn’t that picky.

Fuck. Ran can feel his pants getting wet. His fingers tremble. His heart races. He knows he’s been saying all his life that he never interested—and never going to—to any alpha. But Norman is just a very special exception, okay?!

As the scent continues to assault his nostrils, his mind keeps up with supplying him various inappropriate images—each keep getting more explicit that the other.

He’s imagining many things—

Fuck. Too many things.

He imagines how Norman would run his fingers softly on his sides, leaving marks onto his body and making him whimper as those long fingers entering him, opening him, teasing him. He also imagines how he would scratch that milky white skin, tugging on those white strands until the other whines before pulling the guy into a punishing, passionate kiss. All the while riding the guy to his heart content until Norman cries so sweetly.

Oh, fuck. Ray digs his knees deeper into the bed. His boxers definitely drenched in slick now. Everything’s so sweet, so perfect, the only thing that could possibly ruin this moment is—

“Um, Ray…?”

Fuck. He starts hallucinating weird things now. Why won’t his mind just shut up and comply with his desperate desires?!

“What are you doing on my—”

…Wait.

Fucking. Waitaminute.

Ray immediately bolts up with such a speed like he’s never ever before.

Norman is there, here, in his fucking flesh at the doorway as he stares at Ray with unreadable expression. Norman’s face flushed a bit, and those red tints are such an adorable contrast to his white skin. But his brain can barely register that thing as he feels his own face also flushes hot.

“I-I’m just—”

Just what?

Okay. Technically, he’s still fully clothed. He could pull out a lie such as him helping Norman tidying up his bedsheet of some shit. But— Did Norman see his desperate expression along with his questionable position just now? Because if he did, then Ray’s definitely—

“A-are you doing what I think you’re doing?”

Fucked. Now.

Ray takes his words back. God please let earth swallows him whole now.

Chapter Text

Norman is in love. And he’s a mess.

Okay. Wait. Let’s start from the very beginning.

Ever since grade school, there’s a little secret that Norman hides from everyone—except a few close people who really know him well. The thing is, he dislikes omega. Okay, that may sound absurd. Since he’s an alpha, and practically every popular media ever always describes an alpha as this insatiable barbarian creature who likes to chase after any available omega and would jump at any first defenseless omega they could see.

Okay, that’s obviously over the top. Real-life alpha aren’t like that—although sometimes the ‘insatiable’ part could be more true than he would’ve liked.

But Norman is different. Kind of. And he isn’t sure whether that’s a fact he can even be proud about, considering any alpha who behaves mildly always ended up became the brunt of mocking by the kids at school.

And that’s practically what had happened to him.

The thing is, there’s this evil omega girl who was his classmate in fifth grade who always, always accused him of many things. Her failing a grade? That’s because Norman was too selfish and not letting her work on their group project, she said. Her getting less than an A at a test? That’s because Norman sat next to her and intimidated into giving answer so she could focus on the test—as if he’d need to resort to that kind of cheap trick to get a perfect score. Her uniform got ruined somehow? Apparently, that’s also supposed because of him. And apparently the teachers freaking believed her—well, most of his teachers were an omega, so he kind of understands where they came from. But still. Wasn’t it practically a discrimination?! Just because he’s an alpha, it doesn’t mean he’d take advantage of any defenseless omega—and that evil girl was certainly far from being defenseless.

Omega are evil, he decided from the early age. Well, actually it’s just that one girl—he has some decent omega cousins too. But you know what they say: Childhood memories always makes an impact. That’s why he decides since long ago that he’d never, ever date an omega. That’s also why he always tried to stay far away from those omega fangirls who kept flirting at him in high school.

And that is practically why he couldn’t believe himself when Emma, one of his first few friends in college, talked to him into rooming with her omega childhood friend, he found himself somehow agreeing. Probably has to do with the fact that the beta girl can be pretty persuasive when she wants to, but still.

“Believe me, Ray is different,” is what Emma had said when the girl waved off his concern back then. She’s one of the few people who knows how he feels towards omega, despite him only knowing her for a few months. She just got this weird power to get into people’s personal spaces and make them tell her their deepest secrets. In short: She’s terrifying. But she’s one of his most supportive friends so far, so Norman isn’t going to complain.

“Different how?” he asked back then. But Emma only gave him some vague typical answers.

For the first two months, he and Ray somehow had gotten along fine. The omega is decent. Ray respects his personal space and doesn’t have qualms with taking turn doing the dishes and taking out the trash. All in all, the guy’s just a decent roommate. Although he still didn’t really get what Emma said about Ray being so different back then.

Okay. He’s actually more than a little grateful for the fact that Ray never make any indication of wanting to get into his pants—which is usually the intention of most beta and omega who ever interact with him outside of classes. Well…that feeling of grateful didn’t last long. Because that gratefulness actually changes into frustration just in the span of some few months later.

Here’s the story.

One day, he sprained his legs on their apartment’s stairs. Don’t ask him how. He was tired, alright?! He had pulled off a full nighter the other night, and then the apartment elevator decided that it just didn’t want to work the moment he finally went home after a rather grueling midterm test. He’s frustrated. Tired. Couldn’t concentrated. And someone just had to put a banana peel in the stairs—he doesn’t know who was it until this day, but if he ever knows he’d curse that person to hell and back.

So he then arrived at their apartment door, limping, cursing grumpily, only to be greeted by his omega roommate’s ‘what the fuck happened to you’ face. And of course, the smart him, out of spite grunted: “Can’t you help me or something instead of just sitting pretty there?!”

Ray blinked dumbly for a moment—or that’s what happened in his memory, because Ray blinking is rather cute, but the other probably only rolled his eyes or something—before his roommate approached him and then freaking. Swept. Him. Up. His. Feet.

Yes. Instead of lending a hand to help him walk up their stairs to his room, Ray chose the romance movie cliché route and swept him up in his arms.

“You’re hopeless and this is faster,” the dark-haired said back then.

And no, Norman isn’t going to complaint. But it makes him experiencing feelingsTM and his heart’s definitely very not ready for that.

Ray took care of him for the whole week: From driving him to hospital, to cooking him meals, and even literally giving a breakfast in bed. And Norman……wanted to cry, honestly. Really, he’d never knew his always-dresses-emo roommate could be this sweet. Also strong. Because most omega aren’t really the physical guy type, and finding one who is just kind of fascinating. Also there’s just something about being carried by an omega that made him feeling lightheaded—but like, in a very good way.

Norman never planned to fall in love. And he definitely never expected to fall in love with an omega. But he couldn’t help but pay attention to his roommate more after that. (He couldn’t help, okay?! Ray is just that fascinating! Not that he planned to or even wanted to! No!—or so what he keeps telling himself)

He found out that Ray likes to read. Really, from quantum physics to historical coming-of-age fiction, his roommate spends so much of his time reading and Norman’s sure that Ray probably has read a piece of every book genre ever exist by this point. He also found out that Ray likes his coffee black, without sugar or milk or anything. (“It’s just cheaper. Also faster to make, anyway. My family struggled with some financials up until a few years ago, and I’m just used to make everything works with tight budget,” the dark-haired explained.)

The more he pays attention to his roommate, the more Norman finds himself noticing the little unimportant details that he’s not even sure himself why he bothers paying attention to (“That’s because you’re whipped,” Emma’s annoying voice in his head whispers). Like how Ray never used emoji when texting. Or how Ray always named his contacts after their real names—no nickname whatsoever, he even named his mom’s contact with her real name. Or how Ray likes savory snacks more than sweets. Or how Ray often falls asleep on the sofa with whatever book he’s reading covering his face.

Okay, Norman admits it. He’s in love with his roommate. He’s in love with Ray—and pathetically desperately so.

Here comes the second problem: What should he do now?!

Look, the thing is, he’s never really fell in love before. Sure, he’s rather popular and has dated a few people back in high school. But those were always them confessing to him first and him giving them a chance, mostly. Some of them were cute, most of them were decent—except that boastful big mouthed alpha guy that he dumped after just a week. But never he had to be the one making the first move. And frankly, he has no idea how to do it.

None of the online article is helpful. Most of them looks like it’s written by a school girl and only telling the 101 ways of how an alpha could show their dominance to seduce their omega. Which sounds rather stupid and definitely Norman’s not about to do. Besides, Ray looks like the type who wouldn’t appreciate that kind of traditional flirting.

So he resorted to the next available source: Emma. Being his Ray’s long-time best-friend and all, it’s only logical for him to turn to her for this kind of things, right?

…Except Emma is no ordinary girl. So Norman probably should’ve expected the non-ordinary answer.

“Send him memes,” Emma told him with an ‘I know the best’ tone.

“Uhh…send him what?”

“Send him memes,” the beta girl repeated patiently. “Meme is—”

“I know what meme is!” Norman cut. Because as much as not very updated with the trends he is, he’s not that uncultured enough to not know what a meme is, thank you very much.

“Okay, now listen. The more sad and ironic, the better. But none of those early 2000s ones. Also—”

For a second, Norman stared dumbly, wondering if his friend was really serious or only messing with him. Probably the latter. But as Emma went on and on about how she could buy him some “History of Memes” and “The 101 Ways to Make Memes for Dummies” books, he figured that Emma was totally serious about it.

Feeling desperate, he finally resorts to cheap romance movie cliché. No, not the ones with scenes of dumbTM alpha flexing their muscles in front omega locker rooms, no. What he means is the PG-rated ones with stupidly cute preteens doing stupidly sweet things for their crushes.

So, the mission began.

For a whole month, Norman dedicated himself into being close with Ray. From striking conversation with Ray at the most random times, to making coffees for the other in the mornings, to subtly leaning his body on Ray’s when they’re sitting on the sofa side-by-side.

But Norman swears, Ray must be dumb! Well, at least on romantic matters. Because really, he would expect the omega to either flirting back or telling him off already by this point—if turns out Ray isn’t interested in him, but that’s the worst scenario. But no! He gets no reaction whatsoever. Ray still keeps being oblivious to Norman not-so-subtly being touchy with him.

Norman is desperate. And he’s also at the end of his wits now. So, what’s the solution? Using another cliché, of course. That is: Trying to make his crush jealous.

After the disaster love advice that was Emma, Norman decided to seek other people for help. Luckily, he’s got a few close friends too here that aren’t befriending him solely because of his popular status. And his next pick of help aid is Barbara, the naturally flirty and equally popular alpha girl who’s been one of his loyal friends since high school days.

“Are you sure you wanna spending the night being wasted with us, baby? How’s your little crush back home?” Barbara teases him at one of her yet another spectacular parties.

“Leave the lover boy’s alone, Barb.” Cislo snorts.

Meanwhile Norman sighs, putting down the glass of beer he’s been swirling on his hand in the past minute. He has a half-mind to get wasted drunk. But also doesn’t trust himself not to blabber embarrassing things to Ray if he decided to do so. Of course, there’s always the option to crash at one of his friends’ place—probably either Vincent’s or Cislo’s. But he’d got an early morning lecture the next day, so that’s probably isn’t the wisest option.

“Seriously,” Cislo starts, swinging his arm around his shoulder, “If you’re not gonna enjoy it, just feel free to leave already, Man. I mean, who are you trying to kid here? You’ve never really the party type since high school, haha. Barb will cry, but we all know you’d rather spending your time with that omega.” Cislo grins teasingly.

Norman pouts. He doesn’t like being teased that much. And there’s the fact that if he’s going back home, he’d be reminded again of how his crush keeps being oblivious to his attempts. But well……spending another night just mindlessly talking with Ray doesn’t sound bad. Especially since they’re both a bit too busy these past weeks and haven’t had the time to really talk with each other in almost a week.

When he arrived back at the apartment, it’s oddly quiet. No Ray who’s usually reading in the living room sofa with the TV on, or even some music from Ray’s room.

“Ray…?” he calls out.

Norman tries to check Ray’s room, but his roommate isn’t there either. Maybe Ray is going somewhere with Emma?

‘…Ah, just my luck, then,’ Norman muses disappointedly.

Finding nothing to do anymore, he decides to just hit the bed early.

But to his surprise, the moment he opens the door to his own room……

“Um, Ray…? W-what are you doing on my bed…?”

……Wow, he’d never expected that one of those silly clichés could actually happen in real-life.