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anthem for the broken [yandere outlast works]

Chapter Text

"THIS IS THE ANTHEM FOR YOU SINNERS"

 

 

Welcome to this fucked up booklet of your favourite yandere babes. x

 

So, if you're new, welcome! This isn't a new booklet whatsoever; the previous was deleted due to unfortunate events. But I'm glad you're here!

If you were here during the Bleeding Rain booklet/era, welcome back. Glad to see you! I'm back, baby.

If you're new, guess what you can do in this book?? That's right; you can request things. Woohoo.

So, same rules still apply, but since there might be some new people here, I will repeat the rules.

 

- These will be in Modern AU, and for some reason all of the characters are rich bastards.

 I like writing about rich yanderes. :3c You can pretend they have good mf jobs or something. We already know Jeremy has got that Bread though.

If you want a specific AU when requesting, lemme know. 

 

- I will write anything except for pedophilia. That shit is nasty bruh.

Want a chapter where you and your yandere babe are parents? Fine by me! I will write that if asked, but no creepy stuff towards children. Nastyyyyy.

- By anything, I mean...

Fluff, angst, smut, guro, kinkshots, oneshots, etc

 

- This book is full of Yanderes. 'Yandere' carries a whole book of things with it.

There will be mentions of murder, gore, death, etc in this booklet. Don't like? Click away. Here's some puppies for ya. 

 

- There are multiple ships in here for variety, and because I want more excuses to write for Val.

...I love her okay???

 

- If you want to request a chapter, it doesn't have to be about every single ship. You can request for just a specific character.

;) 

 

These are the ships/characters [none of them will sink like the titanic, I assure you] that I will be including in this cursed book.

Not in order ;

 

- Miles/Reader

- Waylon/Reader

- Blake/Lynn/Reader

- Waylon/Eddie/Reader

- Eddie/Reader

- Eddie/Val/Reader

- Val/Reader [with her heretics, obviously]

- Marta/Reader

- Trager/Reader

- Jeremy/Reader

- Chris/Reader

 

Variety is always good to have. ;)

 

- Friendly criticism is welcomed. 

Feel free to comment or chat with me as well. Love hearing from you guys!

 

So this is Bleeding Rain Pt 2. Or Season 2. whatever you wanna call it.

 

Let's get back into business babyyyy!

-Maddy

 

Chapter Text

 

This is the list I have so far; of chapters I remembered and chapters going to be written. If I forgot anything, let me know so I can quickly write that shit down and get it done. 

 

We got this. 

Chapter Text

Miles/You ;

- What is this horrid letter??

- He found it by digging through your mail :3c

- He's so disgusted by the words in it he throws it away.

- ...Temporarily.

- It was actually so funny he wanted to show people how bad it was. 

- He called up the Walrider to read it.

- ...The Walrider ate it.

- Oops.

- He doesn't tell you about it.

 

Blake/You/Lynn ;

 

- Lynn would know of its existence first.

- She'd go to pick up some mail from her mailbox, as well as yours.

- She stole your key.

- She got the usual. Newspaper, coupons, bills. 

- You got just one letter. It was white, and held closed by a heart sticker.

- Lynn snorted to herself, and hurried home to show Blake.

- Blake and Lynn both agreed the person who sent it was stupid, and would be disposed of.

- The sender didn't leave a return address, so they had an issue.

- They'd do whatever they have to, though.

- They wouldn't tell you about it.

- They find this to be a challenge of who loves you more.

- You were treated to a lot of things that night...

 

 

Waylon/You ; 

 

- You had it in your possession the night he took you. 

- He's been waiting to read it for when he needed a good laugh.

- Nobody could love you as much as he could...that letter was a disgrace compared to his affections.

- The fucker used poetry.

- Poe?? Is that you??

- Not even Eddie would send something this...irrelevant.

- Whoever wrote it sprayed it in Axe, or something.

- It smelled horrible.

- Within seconds of smelling it, he knew the sender was a pre-pubescent individual.

-  He told you about it, because he'd feel guilty if you didn't see something hilarious.

- You found it sweet but didn't say anything.

 

 

 

Blake/You ; 

- If anything, it reminds him of Jessica and Lynn sending notes towards each other.

- The envelope was decorated with rose stickers and little French words.

- 'je t'aime'? Really?

- He didn't know you and this supposed 'secret lover' were in a French drama.

- ...Whoever wrote it had horrid grammar and it was obvious they used Google translate.

- Ce le vie, sender.

- Blake would try and find finger prints.

- He did!

- And he didn't want to tell you who sent it because you'd die of embarrassment.

- One word; Neckbeard. 

- Got it? Good.

- Embarrassing, right??

- Blake thought so too.

  

 

 

Val/You/Eddie ; 

- This turns into an interrogation. 

- Who the hell did they leave alive???

- They look for anything that could leave to your supposed secret admirer.

- They do get swamped by the smell of a tacky perfume on the letter, though.

- It soaked the paper, too...

- So they looked endlessly for that same scent, and would look out for people who sprayed it onto their person.

- Every person they find was approached by either Val or Eddie [depending on the gender/sex] and they have their names written down.

- They take this shit seriously, yo.

- But they don't tell you about it. They don't give any hints that something is wrong.

- They pay the demented doctor down the road to deal with it.

- They don't wanna look at the sore losers who sent you such a disgusting confession.

 

Waylon/You/Eddie ; 

- It got thrown tf out lmfao.

- Eddie took one look, found it to be the most vulgar thing on earth and he threw it out.

- Waylon recovered it and wanted to see who it was from.

- The dumbass left a name. Can you believe that?

- Waylon prepared himself for a blood bath; he had knives, gloves...you name it.

- He waits a couple of days to find them and their residence.

- One night, he decides it's time.

- ...Only to find Eddie already there.

- Cleaning up the body parts.

- Eddie just gave Waylon a look of questioning, like "what are you doing here?"

- "Hah...do you...want help with that?" He plays it off. 

- You found Waylon reading it before he threw it out indefinitely, and asked what it was.

"Horribly written fanfiction." 

Aight. 

 

Blake/You/Val ; 

- Val found it first.

- [SCREAMING COMMENCES]

- DISGUSTING

- When you and Blake walked into the living room, you see the letter pinched between her pointer finger and her thumb.

- And her head facing the opposite direction, as if looking at it would send her straight to hell.

- ...She's going there anyway, but fuck it.

- When Blake takes it from her to read it, she puts her hands over your eyes so you don't have to look at the pink letter.

- She's such a drama queen.

- You know of its existence now, anyway.

- But she won't let you touch it.

- And Blake hid it so you can't find it.

- They think of a plan.

- "News - Flawless Couple Slay Secret Admirer Who Sent Letter To Their Spouse"

- That's would have been on the news, anyway.

- It wasn't.

 

 

Val/You ; 

- It's very obvious who sent it.

- ...There's mud on it.

- Val had found it under one of the Heretic's pillows while cleaning the house.

- Instant curiosity.

- She sits on the bed and reads it. 

- The handwriting looks like chicken scratch.

- But it was cute. 

- Suddenly, a Heretic walks in, mud trailing behind and occupying the now-clean floor. Again.

- He sees his leader sitting on his bed. Cool.

- ...With the letter he wrote.

- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- She sees him and lets out a laugh.

- She helps him write it in nicer format and give it to you.

- ;)

 

Marta/You ; 

- She smells the horrid perfume that's sprayed onto the letter and she cringes

Into the fire it goes

- She had to light incense on her pickaxe just to recover her nostrils

- Poor gorl ;(

- Yeah, no

- The fire made the smell worse

- The living room is off limits, sorry

- You don't know of it

- Only the disgusting smell of burnt lilac :/ 

 

Eddie/You ; 

- Uh, no. No love letters, that aren't by him, on his watch!

- He's not gonna stand for it.

- He's not gonna sit for it either.

- The person who wrote it left their name, so your Husband is off to deal with them.

- He takes every knife he has to fight them.

- He couldn't carry them all, so he took a purse he bought for you.

- Imagine a huge man with a pink purse full of knives.

- Can't imagine that?

That's fine; I made an image of it for you. 

- When he comes back, it's all bloody so he washes it for you before you notice.

- The note was crumbled and thrown into a ditch. 

- Buh bye.

 

Trager/You ; 

- He's angrily sitting on the couch, drinking a martini as he reads it.

- As he reads, he gets more angry.

- They have the same exact thoughts as he does.

- But he recognizes the handwriting.

- ...It's his.

- "Did...did I send this when I was drunk??" He whispers under his breath.

- He lets out a groan and facepalms; his martini spilling out behind him.

- "God, I'm an idiot."

- "Yeah, you kinda are!" You scream out from the kitchen, and cackle when he lets out a yell. 

 

Jeremy/You ; 

- The fucker would order the FBI to come and inspect it.

- He puts on gloves first before touching it.

- Disgusting germs.

- Do you know what 'swatting' is?

- It's basically where you send the FBI to a streamers house as a 'joke'.

- That's what he does to this little admirer of his when he finds them.

- By the way? Swatting is gross. Don't support that shit pls. 

- You know nothing except for the swarm of the FBI in your living room. :/ 

 

Chris/You ; 

- He...may have read to the second paragraph and he ripped it by accident.

- His nails ripped right through.

- Oops.

- Poor Chris.

- At least he doesn't have to read it anymore.

- Thank the lord.

 

Chapter Text

I. It is VERY likely the author does not condone violent behaviour, as written in their works.

 

Believe it or not, a writer will most certainly write the most goriest of things, and not condone anything that occurs in their works of fiction.

So before you hate on someone because "omg why write for an ABUSIVE character??"

 It is fiction.

Look at Stephen King. He writes the weirdest shit possible. Including that very disturbing scene between the protagonists. If you have read IT, then you know exactly what I am talking about.

If you have not, please ask someone or read it yourself. It is super fucked up, and I will never write anything CLOSE to it. 

Of course, it sounds odd, but that doesn't mean he condones it. He probably did not appreciate it when John W. Gacy cosplayed as Pennywise and took it too far.

....Bad joke? Bad joke.

 

 

II. A REAL LIFE YANDERE IS NEVER A GOOD THING WHATSOEVER.

Okay, first, I am not here to shame you if you fantasize or write about being in a yandere relationship.

That would be immensely hypocritical, and yes, it is a little wholesome to think about someones affections going so far for you, that they kill.

While trying to write for my "types of yanderes" chapter, I found the pro or cons list of having a yandere s/o.

And guys....the fucker actually wanted a relationship with a yandere individual. 

Now, please note this isn't meant to be shameful or anything like that. I really do not care if you write, or fantasize, or do anything with yanderes, okay?? You do you. If you wanna talk to me about how hot this Yandere is, go for it! I'm all for it if it's gonna make you Squeal To The Heavens. I will literally list of reasons as to why they love you.

But wanting to date a psychopathic murderer in real life?? That is Fucked Up Bro.

 

You'll get hurt. Your family will get hurt. Your friends will get hurt. Your mental health will get all wonky. You will regret your choices real quick.

 

Oh! and FEELING like a Yandere isn't good either!

Do you remember the Japanese woman who stabbed a guy because she 'loved him'??

THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE DEFENDING HER IS REVOLTING.

 

This behaviour should never be accepted.

If you or someone you know is feeling like this, get help. You deserve to feel normal and to not want to massacre people.

 

Done. You're done reading this shitstorm. Congratulationnnnnnssssss!

 

TL;DR;

writing, dreaming of, etc  of yanderes = ok

actually justifying a real life yandere, defending them, exposing yandere behaviour, wanting a real life yandere relationship = WHAT

 

I'm going back to writing some more chapters now, but keep these in mind if you're uneasy about these fics, hm?

Lov u, drink water, go to bed, eat some cheetos xo 

 

-Priesty 

Chapter Text

PROTAGONISTS

 

Miles

- The most intense out of the 3 protagonists.

- He'd closet you.

- Your friend wanted to meet you during the weekend, but for some reason they were wiped off the face of the earth.

- Your father was supposed to call you. If so, why is his number labelled "invalid"?

- He'll go farther than that.

- He will spread rumours about you. Getting people to look down upon you.

- It's so nobody takes you away from him.

- This, of course, makes you confused, and gloomy. Who the hell spreads lies?

- He hates seeing you upset. As much as he likes to joke around and not let others affect him, he doesn't like when your eyes hold pain in them.

- He'll be your guardian angel. Here to save you.

- But he turns into the Devil real quick when he drugs you, and ties you up in his basement.

- Have fun trying to get out of that basement.

- He will not trust you unless you throw yourself at his feet and convince him.

Even then, he'd keep an eye on you.

- Break his trust, and it will be a lot harder next time.

- But don't let this fool you; he does love you.

- When you get sick, he calls the doctor down the road [that he cannot stand, my god] and gets him to check you out.

- He soon does these checkups himself when he realizes that the doctor brings bigass scissors with him.

- "...You don't need those to check their temperature! What??"

- He won't go too hard on you during punishments if you show tears.

- You learn how to fake cry real fast.

- Once you gain his full trust [and you're officially just as mentally ill as he is], you will be couple goals.

- ...if you include murder.

- Bonnie and Clyde.

- I guess Harley Quinn and Joker too?? Minus the abuse if you do something incorrectly. 

 

Waylon

 

 

- The softest out of the trio.

- He'd be delusional. 

- If you do something nice for him, he'll assume it's because you're madly in love with him.

- Did you just...buy him a coffee? Only lovers do that!

- Oh, he loves you too!

- Did you just compliment his outfit?

- Oh, what'd he do to have you pick his outfits for him every day of his life!

- He wears, and does things, that you like. 

- It's so you have things to relate to, and you'll choose him.

- Only him.

- It takes him 2 months to gain the courage to steal you away.

- You were a snowflake surrounded by flame. He had to take you.

- That's what he would say. But he's not a poet. And now is not the time for poetry!

- You'd wake up, chained to a chair, and he'd be in your lap crying his ass off.

- He just ruined your friendship because he was selfish.

- He'd kill for you, but he wouldn't get himself dirty??

- He'd ask for tips from the Groom.

- He's an amateur. But he gets the job done.

- He doesn't tell you about his new murdering career.

- He doesn't want to ruin your relationship even more.

- I can see him always being persuasive, and gas lighting.

- He's not physical.

- Takes a couple of months for you to really click, but all of those false claims were so worth it.

- He'd still treat you like glass, and he melts when he's able to snuggle up to you without feeling the cold metal of chains around you.

 

Blake/Lynn

[these can be seen as separate, since they're similar in method, but can be seen as a pairing too :3c]

 

- WAYLON, LYNN AND BLAKE ARE TRIPLETS.

- VERY SIMILAR in terms of methods.

- They are just as motherfucking soft. Can see it now.

- Just with more violence.

- They'd be delusional, yes, but they wouldn't be self-loathing.

- They wouldn't see kidnapping you, and murdering your loved ones, as ruining anything.

- No. This was a chance to strengthen it. 

- This is a chance to show you they are worth it.

- They can protect you. They will.

- If you've had an abusive ex, or family member, they will most certainly use that to further their point. 

- Using the head of mentioned abusive person, for support.

- If Blake could kick over a tall, intimidating woman...

- And if Lynn could insult and threaten scary cultists....

- and recover someone from multiple...

- they can, most certainly, be the best lover[s] for you.

- That's not the best part! Oh, no. Not at all.

- They want to win your love. They want you to love them like they love you.

- They want to reform you. They feel nothing! No emotion. Nothing. Nothing could hurt them, except losing you.

- They want you to be the same, so no one could hurt you.

- They wouldn't dream of hurting you. Ever.

- ...Contradictions much, Blake and Lynn?

- You wouldn't have to kill for them, per se.

- But seeing you kill for them would get them aroused.

- They keep this a secret.

- It took a 4 months, and multiple torture sessions that you had to spectate, but you were now molded into a better, stronger you.

- They turn into Jello when you whisper into their ears about how much you appreciate them and their intentions.

 


ANTAGONISTS

 

Val

- This woman will adore, and worship, the fuck out of you, and everything you do.

- She might have a shrine of you in her closet.

- ...she DOES have a shrine of you in her closet. Fuck, man. She's good.

- It's full of pictures, clothes, your lost journal??

- She's obsessive. No doubt.

- But she's not intense. Not ever. Only sexually, is when she's intense.

- Everything about you is like a drug. No part of you is unloved in any way whatsoever.

- She's that person who always had an aura of elegance and tranquility.

- She'd follow you everywhere you went, making sure you were safe, and so no one would go near you without consequences. 

- But she befriends you. Of course, this is a tactic of trying to get closer, and learn more about you.

- If you tell her of any insecurities, she'll be comforting and reassuring when face to face.

- But in the comfort of her own home, she only has one thought.

How could you, someone who rivals a god in beauty and everything, have insecurities?

That will change real soon.

- A calm walk back to your house after a long day turns sour when you feel a prick in your neck, and your world go black.

- You wake up...Is that Val?? 

- Why are you in her basement, and why is she looking like she's a kid in a candy store whenever she looks at you?

- She calmly explains herself. Like murder is normal when in conversations.

- Actions speak louder than words.

- Her voice is soft, and full of adoration, but the thought of people suffering because she had this infatuation with you was sick. 

- If you struggle too much, become too aggressive, or just overall become too much to handle, she will drug you.

- You become useless. Your limbs become basically nothing.

- You're mindwashed and it's like a dream come true for her. 

- You didn't need to be drugged anymore. You were hers, and she was yours.

- If you ever questioned her about why she took you, she'd put a pillow on her lap, make you lie your head on it, and calmly explain it to you.

"Nobody can love you. Not like I do."

 

Eddie

 

- This dude looks like he just stepped out of the 50s.

- He is an actual gentleman. But do not let that fool you.

- He is one of the intense antagonists.

- You are basically walking on eggshells until you learn how to interact with him without making him furious.

- Struggle too much? He'll insult you to no end.

- Insult him back? He'll calmly take out his knife and cut until you're begging for him to stop.

- He can be very sadistic with you, and many others.

- Other than that, he is head over heels with you.

- You recall seeing him in Murkoff when visiting a friend.

- His head was against his glass; the pants that rushed out of his mouth fogging up the transparent solid.

- You weren't fresh meat to him. The other inmates thought of you as such, but not him. Oh no. 

- Murkoff released him once they created the "yandere insurance" bullshit. That was a mistake.

- With the help of Jackoff [Murkoff lel] they tracked you, and helped him with the stuff he would need.

- You're forced to wear old timey dresses. He'll allow you to wear makeup [the old stuff], but he prefers when you don't.

- Once you're conditioned to his liking [some hints of your old personality still remain, which he loves], you're both the couple of the...last 6 centuries.

- An old phonograph will loudly play some Frank Sinatra records as you dance the night away.

- The bloodied corpses, dressed in formal attire made by Eddie, are held up by Murkoff staff as you and Eddie get married.

- You don't let anyone ruin your moments together.

- While people are screaming in the back, horrified by your gory and intimidating appearances, you kiss while blood sprays the both of you.

- How romantic!

 

Trager

[I love the fuck out of this musical, bro]

 

- This asshole is your doctor. Can you believe it?

- Quite literally and legally. Why was he legal??

- This gave him access to your medications, and your health. It was like Murkoff was just giving you to him.

- He found you interesting at first, but that grew into a wholeass obsession after your 4th visit.

- He wanted to explore your innards and how they work, but keep you alive, you know?

- He can't give you surgery or x-rays if there's nothing wrong with you. The other medical experts will say it's a waste of resources.

- Into his basement with you.

- At first he finds your body interesting. Then that turns into 'adoration'.

- You beg him for your medication. You need it!

- He gives you medication. Sure, no questions asked.

- Except it's not your medication. It's something totally different.

- It makes you drowsy, and easier to handle.

- He'll especially give you pain meds after a rough cutting session.

- You, eventually, go through withdrawal when you're completely conditioned. 

- He sees no reasons to keep medicating you when you're fine.

"Buddy, I can't exactly give you meds when you're a-okay. Maybe later?"

- You're dependent on him.

- He's Loving It 

- BADA BAH BAH BAHHHH

 

Marta/Chris

- Possessive as fuck bro.

- I paired these two together, mainly because they are very similar with their methods.

- They will manipulate your mental state.

- First, people you love will suddenly disappear.

- In your state of panic and sadness, they will manipulate the fuck out of you.

- "Hey...it's okay! Maybe staying with me would be safe? They're getting awfully close to you..."

- They're such good friends, you cannot say no!

- At first you decline. You don't wanna be a burden!

- Are you kidding? Nonsense.

- But it was a trap. This shit always turns out to be trap...

- You're surrounded by your loved ones.

- They're dead. Throats slashed and heads torn off.

- Holes in their chests too...

- They may sound like total assholes but they aren't intense. 

- They treat you like a normal human being. If you don't count the chains.

- "Hey, what do you wanna eat? Yes, I know, you can't feed yourself. Who said you were going to~?"

- They let you accept your fate. Yeah, you're not gonna leave.

- Your dead loved ones are proof of what happens when you attempt to leave.

- Might as well chill.

 

Jeremy

- Much like Trager, he found you interesting.

- He found you intelligent, and a bit of a smartass. He liked that.

- He also liked when you stroked his ego.

- His company is one of the best? Yeahhh, say that again...

- He'd help with anything financial to start. He couldn't barge right in and become suspicious.

- Student loans? Paid off.

- Dying family member? Wow, they just had life saving surgery! And it was all paid for.

- Rent too much this month? How about you don't pay it for the next 5 years.

Next, visiting his place. Have some dinner with him! To celebrate friendship.

- You didn't expect to be drugged.

- I feel like, once you're in his grasp, he'd threaten to use the Wernicke treatment on you if you were aggressive.

- He'd force you to look at one of the patients.  Their skin, cracked, disproportionate, bloody. Their minds so scrambled they could rival eggs.

- Do you want that to happen to you, dearest?

- He'd pay people to help with your conditioning.

- An expert hypnotist, maybe?

- Once you're to his liking, he will spoil the shit out of you.

Chapter Text

Miles 

 

- takes advantage of this. 100 fucking percent

- will put all the things you need on the top shelf 

- eternal screaming

- but then he won't be able to reach the things either

- because he pushes them all the way back and doesn't think he'll need them, he only does it to you and with your stuff

- so now he's gonna call Walrider to reach the fucking cookies at the back of the cupboard

- thanks asshole

- will call you cute little nicknames

- "hey shorty"

- you're too short to slap him :/

 

Waylon/Blake/Lynn

 

- you're. so. CUTE

- grabs things for you, regardless if you can reach them or not

- PIGGYBACK RIDES

- gives you their sweaters to wear 

- the sweaters go down to your knees/lower thighs

- dresses. that's what they are

- they take pictures. constantly. you are their lock screen and background 

- yeah, strike a pose. stunning

- "how's the weather down there"

- laughs at your anger mwahahahahaha

- compares you to bunnies/ducklings/small cute animals

- and you compare them to the giant from jack and the beanstalk

- ...touche

 


 

Val 

 

- the pet names don't stop, she adds new ones to her pet name vocab. don't @ me

- she melts when you wear her robes bc they're too long and you trip over them

- never lets you wear anything else. she is in a constant state of "must witness [name] in my robes so i can obsess over them 24/7"

- LOVES PICKING YOU UP. ALL THE TIME. 

- THE HERETICS DO TOO OH MY 

- sees this as an opportunity to raise the Protective Stakes

- too small = too cute and will be tainted by this disgusting world

- has someone insulted you for being too short? they're dead now. sorry i don't make the rules

- only she can talk about your height. only her :3c

 

Eddie 

 

- you are his short wife. 100%

- you know that feeling when there's a shirt or pants you really like but they don't have your size?

- not an issue with your husbando over here. he can easily resize them or recreate the thing you like

- he gets even more protective because you're small and you can be squashed quite easily

- he has to be careful with his hugs

- you're a tough cookie but he insists 

- he calls you his "little darling" and honestly? yes

- if your height bothers you he won't mention it again. ever.

- he'll bend down to your size if he's too tall

- he doesn't want you to have neck pain!

 

Marta/Chris

 

- they're both tall assholes so they are very gentle with you

- and they understand that you go through some annoying stuff too

- they bash their head against doorways, you trip over your pants if they're too long

- the struggles, man

- you suffer together

- they're soft with you but harsh to others

- you're treated like porcelain

- ...until you bite. yeah no you're violent porcelain

- if someone makes fun of your height or if they do anything to make you upset they suddenly go missing

- you see them again with no legs

- HAH karma

- they swear they didn't do it but you could've sworn you saw a pair of legs in the freezer

- who knows

 

Trager

 

- ASSHOLE ALERT! ASSHOLE ALERT!!!!!!! 

- he tries to cut your fingers but DOESN'T?

- "sorry i can't cut carrots with these scissors. these are for fingers only."

- EXCUSE ME ASSHOLE?

- HE USES A KNIFE INSTEAD...SMH

- he nails your fucking shirt to a wall if he needs to talk to you

- he'll be casually speaking to you and you're dangling above the floor with your arms crossed

- you slip out of your shirt and make a run for it

- FUCKER

- you can go into places that he can't

- LMFAO BYE

- he will make fun of your height but if you get upset he'll comfort you with a finger bouquet

- aw <3

- then he'll call you 'kiddo' and you throw the bouquet at him lmao

 

Jeremy

 

- automatically assumes you can't drive

- "you can't even reach the steering wheel. let's switch."

- fuck. NO.

- you pull up the seat. there you go. you're fine

- this porche got NOTHING on you

- sometimes his security laughs at you but he sets them straight

- buys you custom clothes

- he has to help you when you're in the deep end of his pool....

- UGH

- he once bought you a mermaid blanket but it covered your whole body except for your legs

- finding nemo part 2 

Chapter Text

Miles

- His voice is low yet it makes the eardrums vibrate

- He comes out during the afternoon when the sun hits his favourite rock perfectly

- Have fun leaving this asshole

- He can hear you when you try and leave

- He'll hiss the fuck out of you until you sit back down or calm down

- He lets you touch his tail uwu 

- But if you make any threatening gestures he will slap the shit out of you with it

- and sassily go back into the water and wait until you've smartened up

- asshole!!! 

- Sings to you if you can't sleep

- He has no intentions of eating you. God no

- But he WILL eat someone in front of you. He has no shame

- Will sunbathe with you on his stomach

- He will get a you-shaped suntan but he doesn't care

- he has bis babe on his stomach!! wow!!!

- Tries to find Trager so he can fight him for cutting off his fingers

- He can only hope 

- He catches food for you, but does not understand that you can't eat raw fish

- Unless it was sashami grade but he doesn't know what that is 

- Hates when other sirens are around his territory, and will not leave his little cave with you alone inside of it

- No one knows of your existence. It better stay that way

 


Waylon

- His voice is soft so he only really attracts people who are paying attention

- He comes out in the morning, just when the sun is coming over the water, so he attracts of a lot of joggers and dog walkers

- He's a lot softer with you, but will still use his hissing to an extent

- He will eat humans but get disgusted if he's too dirty

- He'll offer you some but you faint.

- ...he cuddles you till you get up uwu

- He doesn't like leaving his little cavern when you're inside of it

- And he especially will not leave when you're asleep. That makes you vulnerable

- He hunts near his cavern and that's it, no farther than that

- Used to sunbathe only twice a week, he spends his time with you now

- The only sun he gets is when he hunts

- Is open to trying human food uwu 

- You once gave him an orange to help with vitamin D

- He loved it


Blake/Lynn

- They live in underwater caverns near the middle of the ocean, but they goes to hunt near beaches and stuff like that

- Their volume depends on their location

- If they're near the public they will be quiet

- If they're in a secluded area, like a private beach, they will be loud

- They move around when they hunt so they don't lead people to their caverns

- Hates hunting because that means leaving you alone

- Very territorial but will let their trusted allies near their little homes

- Slaps the fuck out of people with their tails

- Blake hates sand. It's disgusting. Lynn however rolls around in it like a worm in mud

- If one of their victims had a bag full of stuff on them they give it to you

- Sometimes the bag is full of food or just something to keep you busy

- He hates fish and would NOT give it to you to eat. Lynn will attempt to make certain fish edible for you :/ 

- Blake would bring one home to let you admire it, though

- Sometimes they'll bring back a dog or something

- But then they get jealous and they bring it back to land

 


Eddie

- This mofo is in a lake. How comforting 

- This asshole gets into a lot of fights to defend you and his territory

- Hell, he fights whatever he can get his hands on

- To attract people he sits on his fave rock and hums to old tunes from the 1800s

- he makes things out of seashells. Creative

- seashell knives. seashell...um...frisbees?

- He's got scars and tears in his tail 

- Does he care? No

- He stitches himself up and shit

- He's good with needles and thread

- You can't leave.

- He wants babies SO BADLY but because of your species...

- It's not possible

- He can kidnap a baby, though

- But you urge him not to

- BEG him, even

- Don't bring an innocent infant into this

- Okay! He can steal eggs instead

- NO

- He likes to pat you with his tail, doesn't matter where 

- But it's slimy, and in some cases, bloody and overall gross

- He invades your mind all the time

- His mind powers are gross

- Think of another man or woman? No, bye, not allowed

- He might just....squeeze you too hard next time you cuddle

- If you're bad he  forces you underwater

- He takes you out of the cave and wraps himself around you so you can't move.

- Before you drown he rushes back to his cave and lets you breathe.

- Next time you wanna scratch back at him or threaten to leave?

- He'll grip your hand, neck, hair, anything he can get his hands on

- "Don't try me, darling."


Val

- Oh you're so lucky! Her and her heretics live IN A LAKE RIGHT BY YOUR HOUSE SO YOU INTERNALLY SUFFER

You curse the heretics cause Val doesn't leave you alone lmao

- They do everything for her. GAH

- SHE PETS YOU....AND CARESSES YOU...WITH HER TAIL....

- sometimes it's used as a blanket 

- or a hand to slap someone with

- She charms people but has no intention of touching them

- Cute, graceful touches are for your eyes and body only

- She digs her claws right in as soon as they're close enough

- The rare occasions she has to leave, heretics are with you

- Oh no. There's a rumour of murderous mermaids in the lake by town you live in...

- So no one goes by anymore, and now they're all hungry

- So they use you as bait.

- They sit you on a rock in the day time, so you're able to get some vitamin D

- Oh, you thought they left you alone?? God no. Val is watching from beneath the water lmao 

- and the heretics are swimming around the rock, waiting 

- You take a nap on it cause 1, it's warm, and 2, you're  gonna be here a while looool

- Of course, people think you're a victim and they try to get you away from the angry mermaids

- At the last second they're dragged underneath the water

- and all recovered loot goes to you 

- Punishments are scary

- They drag you underneath the water, heretics hold you down as Asshole Cult Mom swims around you, with a smug smirk on her face

- When you surrender she holds out her arms and makes you swim into them

- If you're too weak the heretics help you

- Then she rushes to the surface

"Not gonna attempt that again, are you, my love?"

- no.


Trager

 

He sits in an old lake by a hospital

You were kidnapped by one smart asshole cause he hypnotizes people to grab medical equipment for him

- He also scares the shit out of people who come out so they get sent back in

- One tip; you better have health insurance cause he's gonna make you use it all up

- He uses humans and sirens as his subjects

- If you displease him he will threaten to use you as a victim of biology lessons 

- you could probably graduate as a doctor now from the shit he's shown you and told you 

- He cut off a finger of yours

- He insulted your lack of defense. Why are your nails so short??

- Now that's even MORE of a reason to keep you safe!

- He talks shit about priests even though he doesn't even know what those are

- "Uh, do you even know what a priest is, Trager?"

- "Of course I do, toots. Bald guys who drink a guys blood and eat a dude."

- facepalm

- he says what he's doing is more innocent than their supposed "cannibalism"

- HAH

- if you miss listening to music he'll play a violin for you that he....bought

- SPOILER; HE CAN'T PLAY FOR SHIT. HE NEVER LEARNED

- FOOTAGE OF HIM PLAYING THE VIOLIN TO SERENADE YOU

- AHAAAAA

- touch his tail nicely and he'll embrace you w/ it. scratch it and he'll yeet you to Mexico

- his stupid goggle things cover his eyes so you don't suffer

- he's nice with you until you attempt to hurt him or insult his beautiful violin playing

- or if you try to leave of course

- once you're trustworthy you swim together

- and taunt the doctor he hates lmfao


Chris

- He's a thicc siren boye.

- He doesn't sing; it's not his thing. He roars instead.

- He doesn't swim very fast so you can feel free to swim away, but he lives very far away from shore :/

- A shark is more likely to see you as a snack before you even touch land

- so you're stuck with him. fun!

- but he won't make your stay boring. oh not at all

- the locals call him a sea pig

- and they laugh till he turns over their fucking fishing boat

- then that's when he laughs and uses their bones are toothpicks

- he offers you some but you decline

- no thank you I'm jus gonna go cry in the corner bye!!!!

- luckily, those fishing boats have good stuff on them for you

- he doesn't know what a "brush" is but he thinks you can use it

- don't tell him it's to brush your hair bc he'll try and help you

- he'll be rough without realizing till patches of your hair come out

- oops

- :(

- there's also FOOD

- yum

- you feast while he's asleep

- he leaves you a piece of human meat but you throw it away 

- and you tell him you ate it + it was good so you don't get ripped to bits

- he's pleased! so next human he gets he lets you have them

- you regret your decisions. 

 


Marta

- our Favourite Goth Religious Woman lives underneath a waterfall

- no one can hear the screams due to the rushing waves 

- oh dear

- the water is so rough you can't go underneath without being pushed down

- but hey free shower if you manage to stay out of the core of the waterfall

- but also rip cause it's gonna be hard to leave

- she can sure as hell swim up the waterfall and scare the fuck out of people 

- her scales are torn so she needs reassurance that she's pretty

- if it comes from you she no longer has insecurities 

- her darling thinks she's beautiful regardless of her scars?? how lovely!

- she abandoned her weapon and grew out her claws

- kinky

- there's a skeleton in the corner of her little cave and she refuses to tell you about it

- surprisingly, the egotistical priest down the road went missing a couple of months ago...

- if you ask she just grins and stays silent

- EVIL

- she plays a harp and is able to attract people over

- how sweet

- she takes you for a swim every morning and it would've been nice if she wasn't murderous and if the water wasn't as cold as ice

- sometimes she screams into the night and scares the shit out of people

- she's called a Banshee but that doesn't stop her from getting food

- stupid humans and their curiosity

- oh no not you. she's glad your curiosity got the best of you


Jeremy

- this asshole, no doubt, has paid someone to pretty him up

- his scales are the colour of the city at night

- black and yellow. those colours are now on your shit list

- he doesn't sing or make noise to attract people. no. he sits there with his forehead bare

- JUST KIDDING, but he does sit and look pretty 

- he has guards surrounding his stupid ass cave. and in no way is his cave small

- it's equal half land and water. 

- you can't leave. his guards are fast and very, VERY attentive

- you know how colourful fish are usually very venomous? yeah, even though he's dark, that rule applies to him

- his nails just scream "DEADLY!!"

- DUDE!! FILE THEM!!!!

- he has an enemy down the coast so he can't go anywhere

- and that means he's stuck with you...AWESOME

- aren't you lucky???!!!!

- no.

- he has his guards make...human sushi for you. how nice

- if you don't eat what he 'made', he shoves it down your throat

- don't drink any water? well, sorry, he'll hold your neck and squeeze till you agree to ingest some good ol H20

- this dumb fuck will make you drink water as you drown. he's the type

- he's petty and will slap someone with his tail if he's pissed off. or if someone pisses you off.

- his tail is rated E for Everyone

Chapter Text

When Miles thinks of something breathtaking, he usually thinks about his fucked up adventures in the hell known as Murkoff. His breath was always taken away, whether it was the gore or the fat fuck who always chased him down the never ending hallways.

But that word had a new definition once he thought he saw Shirley Temple walk into the café he was currently sitting in. He had to take another look at the Shirley Temple imposter. There stands you, ordering your usual as you huff and push back your hair. At first, Miles questioned why it was wet until the clap of thunder from outside scared the actual shit out of him. He hears a laugh come from you and he feels a little embarrassed. Who the fuck gets frightened by thunder?

 

"Thunder scared ya? Same here. It can be too loud sometimes." He hears you say to him as you look at him with amusement, and he takes back his statement. Adults can totally be scared of thunder.

"Hah, yeah." Miles shrugs, "but I've heard worse." 

 

This piques your interest, because once you snag your drink you sit in the chair across from him after you motion to it ["All yours, my friend"]. "Like what?"

"My bosses nagging," he jokes, but you laugh and he feels his ego inflate like someone was inflating a balloon. "I've been there. Can agree it's a lot worse than thunder." You agree with his little joke, and he can feel himself already becoming comfortable with you. Eventually, you talk until the thunderstorm ends, and the sun makes its finale to call it a day until the next morning. Miles gives you his number so you can stay in contact.

 

He doesn't wanna lose you yet.

 


After a few friendly outings with you, Miles can already feel himself become attracted. Your personality was like a drug. He needed more. And more. And more.

But what really put the candle on the cake was when he lent you his sweater after someone spilled their beverage on you. He had 'coincidentally' [he wanted to see what you were doing so the bastard tracked you down] ran into you during a fight with your now ex-friend. She poured her coffee onto your head and it trailed down onto your white shirt. He quickly came into action after she stomped away, her heels created loud thuds against the cement, and put his black sweater on you. It easily reached mid thigh, but then suddenly some violent thoughts invaded his head. 

He questioned himself. He really wanted to show your ex-friend a piece of her own treatment, but why? Why did he automatically think that violence was the answer? Comforting you was the second thought on his mind.

But the pout on your face, the obvious disappointment in your eyes, and the sight of his sweater obviously dwarfing you gave him strong urges. You were precious! Like Bambi!

But didn't his mother die?? Shit. Oops. Anyway, he did nothing. He just asked about your wellbeing and guided you back to his apartment. Ironically, dark clouds began to crowd the sky, and god knows you didn't need to be drenched after what just occurred.

 


 

It took some thought. It really did. But Miles decided that you didn't need friends. Not after what happened with your ex-friend. You were so hurt. So fragile. 

So he had to think of a plan once you fell asleep on his couch. You were exhausted, and it's not like he's gonna leave you to mope alone! God no. The thought hadn't crossed his mind even once. So as you sit in a dreamless slumber, he lets his mind go off.

You were a lovely person, so it was easy to attract people to you. But so was he. He was the popular journalist who helped a man that went by "Waylon" expose a company. He's a local hero. So that's when he decided his plan.

People seemed to take his words so seriously. 

 

So what would a few rumours do?

 


 

"Oh Miles, I'm ruined!" You blow your nose into one of the many tissues Miles had offered you. He had you stuffed into his side, and would let you sob into his chest [He's no doubt going to lick the wet spots when you're not looking].

"What makes you say that, [Name]? They're just rumours," he's smug on the inside of his thoughts, but on the outside he's exposing a concerned face. People really do take him seriously. "Everyone knows not to take them too hard."

"But everyone has! My workplace is just hell right now. I can't walk outside without feeling judged." Your throat is tight and you can't see straight at this point. Miles just hums in acknowledgment as you rant so you know he's listening. He's carding his fingers through your hair, and he swears he cannot stop. "Who do you think spread them?" Miles ignorantly questions, as if he didn't spread them himself. "Oh, who knows. But I think I'm betting on Marilyn." Your voice is full of hurt once you blurt your ex-friends name, and he feels slight guilt.

"Really? How sour. Hopefully it all dies down soon."

 

But really, the only thing dying down will be your ex-friend.

 


 

Your life is completely in shambles at the moment.

 

Your 'friend' had called you just days ago, asking if you had wanted to hang out a city away. Seeing it as a break from all the pettiness and gossip, you agreed. But the day she was supposed to pick you up, she didn't communicate. 

She didn't answer your calls, or your texts. So you angrily watched Netflix all day.

 

Miles was surprisingly quiet.

 


 

Now it's getting fucked up.

 

Your dad had supposedly heard of the rumours, and he called you to ask if you needed to talk. You were getting close to the climax of the story until your father interrupted you and told you he'd call you back.

"Hold on dearest, I'm hearing a suspicious noise. I'll be back," the familiar beeps of phone that was hung up ring in your ear. Sigh.

So you wait.

And wait.

But he never called back. You tried calling, but his voicemail automatically came up.

 

Miles is now one with the shadows; he's still quiet. Where is your guardian angel when you need him most? 

 


You actually miss him.

 

It's been a week since the incident with your father. Miles has been silent. He hasn't answered your calls. You can't find him anywhere. His site has been dry. And his boss said he's been silent with him as well. Miles had been there for you, and now he's gone. 

 

Someone was out to get you.

 

You miss the nicknames. You miss being called Shirley Temple whenever he'd assist you with your hair. You miss his sweaters and the cologne that would invade your senses once you put mentioned sweaters on.

 

As you sit in your residence, sad and alone, Miles prepares his basement for your arrival. Chains, a bed, threatening weapons...check.

 

He waits till you're asleep. The syringe in his hand is filled to the brim with a sedative and he's ready for what he's about to do.


Once you wake up in an odd position with nothing but an oversized sweater, binds and blindfold on, you realize that this month really sucks ass.

 

You freak out, but once the familiar smell of Miles' cologne assaults your nose, you feel safe, and a little annoyed, knowing Miles is near. You can trust him, can't you?

"Real funny, smartass. I get it. We haven't seen each other for a while. No need to pull a prank like this." You add a little laugh to the end, but it's cut off once the sound of foot steps invades the room.

"Oh, this isn't a prank." His voice sounds...off. Demented, even. "What do you mean? Miles, this...this really is not funny." You pull at the binds, beginning to feel panicked.

"This isn't meant to be funny, [Name]," you hear something slap onto something metallic, "what's funny is how much your little friend squirmed. She was like a maggot inside of carrion, really."

Cold sweat began to pour down your forehead, "What the fuck do you mean? What's going on-?"

 

Within a couple of seconds, the blindfold is ripped off, and you see Miles with a crazed look in his eye, and dried blood on his face. "Get comfy; you're gonna learn some things." He grins at you, and picks up a balisong* from what seems to be a metal tray. 

 

He plays around with it with expertise, and before you know it, the blade is exposed and coated in red essence. He looks at it with adoration and amusement, "And to think this bad boy made  little Marilyn screech like a banshee to the heavens."

 

Oh no.

 


You don't know how long it's been [you guess a year, who needs calendars anyway?], but all you know is that Miles is your lifeline, and you're his.

All you wear is his clothes. All you eat is his food. All you smell of is Miles' cologne. And while this asshole ruined your life, you couldn't help but love him anyway. Probably because of the torture you've experienced, but meh. 

You can't lie; he has been incredibly dedicated to you. He's even learned how to help style curly hair so he can help you. And he cries with you during humid days. So romantic!

 

And although his clothes are to die for, this bastard thinks it's an excuse for intercourse. You can't wear a shirt without him howling. 

Fucking buzzkill.


"Heyyy Shirley Temple," Miles teases as he waltzes into living room with hair ties, snacks and beverages for your movie night. "I'm back."  The nickname makes you roll your eyes, but you like it. It's only Miles' thing, though. He made that clear.

 

Just ask the doctor down the road. 

 

"Oh, the horrorrrrr." You sarcastically drawl. "Back to where you came, demon." "Okay, wow, harsh. I surrender to thy Temple of Shirleys." He's got a playful grin while he prepares a brush and hair ties to braid your hair for the night.

 

"I really hate you, you know that?" You joke, but he puts a hand to  his chest. "You wound me." "Like I wounded that girl last month?" You raise a brow, and he laughs at the memory. "Yeah. Did you really need to throw her off the bridge for asking me where the nearest store was?"

"Uhhh, duh. She had the eyes of a whore, you know." You sounded jealous, and Miles could sense it immediately. "Now you sound like the Groom, lil [Name] Temple." 

 

"Don't you mean [Name] Upshur?" His jeans instantly tent by his crotch, and you feel like you regret your decision. He throws the brush and hair ties behind him, "Fuck it, no braiding tonight."

"Why not?"

"I need something to pull, don't I?"

 

 

Touche.

 

 

Chapter Text

You have created chat room: Assholery Co.

You have added Miles, Waylon, 8+ people

 

Miles: wtf

Miles: why are we the asshole co.???

You: uhhh cause you kidnapped me n killed my friends and family????

Miles; uhh you call that assholery? you know what's assholery? eating my fucking s'more and playing Call Me Maybe to block my panicked screams out

Trager: "panicked"

Miles: I AM VERY PANICKED WHEN I DON'T GET MY S'MORE, RICHARD

Trager: k

Miles; you know what ELSE is assholery? Val making a s'more but not giving it to me. misleading

Val: I gave it to [Name]. You left the poor thing s'moreless goddammit

Miles: oH that's fine. 

Val: Indeed. Used the last marshmallow too <3

Miles: pardon fucking me?

Val: Oh, no one is fucking you, darling

Miles: [1 attached image]

You: lmaooooooo

You: btw thanks for the s'more Val it was rlly good

Val: <3

Miles: I'll have you know that Richard fucks me daily

Trager: PARDON

Miles: *with me

Trager: Better. No homo

Miles: no homo huh? no fucking homo? last time you cut a dudes dick off you didn't say "no homo"

Waylon: Even Eddie does that and like...it's bro code

Eddie: Did someone call for me?

Trager: Yes, in fact I did! Waylon and Miles enjoy screwing with me

Eddie: Oh! Much like [Name]'s ex, right? They were on my table just hours ago.

You: WHAT?

Miles: lmaooooo nice Eddie

You: [1 attached image]

Eddie: Haha, why is that cat so displeased? And where did the hands come from?

Trager: Oh Eddie, you innocent bastard

Trager: ....Eddie?

Val: He was genuinely curious and you crushed him.

Miles: SO MEAN TRAGER

Waylon: ;(

Blake: what's with the memes and the shame

Lynn: yah, I second that

Miles: Trager here is being a dickweed

You: no, you ALL are being dickweeds

Waylon: How????

You: I dunno...kidnapping me.......um........killing my family and friends....spreading RUMOURS.....

Miles: hey man. listen. i'm sorry i spread a rumour about you not liking gogurt. fuck off already

You: I LOVE GOGURT....YOU SPOILED IT FOR ME

Val: Oh dear

Trager: I'm mean but Miles ruins gogurt. What a sinner

Val: I agree

Miles: val you started a fucking cult to spite god and you're calling ME a sinner?

Val: Well my cult wasn't about spoiling gogurt, now was it

Blake: she has a point there, Miles

Miles: wow. I feel attacked

Miles: okay brb gonna go grab a snack

Waylon: Gogurt, I assume?

You: :(

Val: I'll buy all the gogurt for you. Don't worry <3

You: At least you care :')

Val: That's what I said to myself as I ripped the heart from your friends' chests, dear

You: I retract my statement

Miles: OKAY WHO TOUCHED MY FUCKING GRANOLA BAR?

Trager: it was so good! you have good taste

Miles: RICHARD GIVE IT BACK PLEASE

Miles: GUYS HELP HE'S BLASTING SOME SORT OF BOYBAND NOW??? I CAN HEAR HIM

Trager: One Direction isn't just some boyband you imbecile

Blake: wowwwww

Lynn: really, finger chopper? really???

Waylon: yo why hasn't [Name] texted

Miles: well I'm looking into Val's place cause for some reason she stole them from me

Waylon: okayyyy....

Miles: omg she looks like a furious mother lmfao

Waylon: in what way???

Miles: she's covering [Name]'s ears

Trager: VAL STOP SHIELDING MY [NAME] FROM TALENT

Miles: he turned it off. thank god

Val: never. fucking never

Miles: :O she never swears

Blake: blessed day

Val: Since the topic of assholery was the main conversation here, we should talk about Miles being all possessive over here

Miles: Sorry but my execution of Yandereness was better than urs

Val: have you not read the Yandere Pamphlet

You: THERE'S A PAMPHLET?

Val: Yes! Cute little thing.  Lots of pictures. 

Eddie: Vulgar...pictures.

You: aww hi. did you get over the cat

Eddie: No.

You: oh :(

Miles: did you get under the cat?

Trager: buddy. i'm the only one who should make puns here

Marta: I just got in here and already I'm done with you children.

Miles: :O

Marta: Except [Name]. They're the only child I can appreciate.

Val: Not even me?

Marta: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.

Val: I see.

Marta: You can see with all the mud over your face?

Val: Yes. Can you hear with all of Knoth's bullshit coming out of your ears?

Miles: I CAN FEEL THE BURN FROM HERE

Eddie: Like you felt the asylum burning?

Miles: touche, mr gluskin

Waylon: VERY touche

Trager: so touche it's touche part 2

You: I can feel Marta's pain. y'all r children

Miles: MURDEROUS children.

You:....yes

 


 

Miles: YO VAL

Val: hmmm?

Miles: what the fuck did you use in [Name]'s hair. that shit smells delicious and their hair is so SMOOTH

Val: ...don't tell me you eat shampoo now?

Miles: haha very funny. now tell me your secrets

Val: I use only the best, duh

Miles: what brand

Val: Salon brand c:

Miles: K but what brand...

Val: ...Just go to a salon and buy their shampoo???

Miles: IT'S THAT EASY???

Val: Yes! I go to that fancy one near the outskirts.

Val: I use it on [Name] and I. Now you know why everyone is envious of our hair.

Miles: so THAT'S why your hair feels great

Val: ...have you been touching my hair??

Miles: thanks gotta go bye

Miles has left the chat

Val: .....he is one strange man, isn't he?

 


 

Miles: alright, so how is [Name]'s visit to Disney so far??

Chris: noit goohd

Miles: why's that Chris???

Eddie: Well, first off one of the characters looked at them funny and they screamed...

Miles: WHICH CHARACTER?

Eddie: What???

Miles: EDDIE....WHICH CHARACTER WAS IT?

Eddie; Well, he had black hair, red shirt....and huge biceps...

Miles: GASTON? OH FUCK YEAH I'D SCREAM TOO HE'S SHADY

Eddie: How is he 'shady', Miles?

Miles: how the FUCK does he eat 4 dozen eggs? won't he get an overdose?? and how do the shells crack in him?? is he a SNAKE???

Eddie: I believe you are overthinking this...

Miles: I wasn't able to go!!

Waylon: I still don't understand why you, Chris, Val and Marta were able to go :(

Eddie: 2 words...seduction and intimidation.

Waylon: oh. makes sense

Marta: I am surrounded by children, do not listen to him.

Miles: lmfao what's going on

Marta: [Name] has a balloon. Val is cooing over [Name] and their mouse balloon. Eddie has just seen Snow White and is now asking for her autograph and for the dwarves to pay him a visit. Chris is chasing after that 'Gaston' character.

Waylon: WHATTTT

Miles: THIS IS TOO GOOD LMFAOOOOO

Marta: Give us a moment. Too much is going on.

Blake: marta is a tired mama looooool

Lynn; tru dat

Jeremy: Do NOT listen to Eddie. I bought them tickets.

Trager: nah rofl you got tricked by Val and Chris

Jeremy: I don't like when my lamborghini gets threatened, okay? Have you seen their nails??

Trager: sure, rich boy

Marta: So much has happened.

Miles: UPDATE US

Marta: Val has brought [Name] an ice cream in the shape of a mouse. Gaston is suspiciously missing, and Eddie is carrying a garden gnome convinced it's a dwarf. I don't think I should tell him the truth.

Miles: brb laughing 2 hard. oh lord

 


 

"Eddie..." you sigh, mentally facepalming at the sight of Eddie threatening the garden gnome with a glare and an angry finger pointed. "Eddie," you said a little louder, yet he continued the assault against the gnome.

"I don't think he can take his darling seriously when they have a mouse balloon and an iced treat, sweetie." Val says with a playful tint to her voice. She pats your head lightly, "Let me take care of this."

"Here we go." Marta takes in a breath, to prepare for the shitstorm about to occur. "Eddie, dear, that is a glass garden accessory. Snow White lied to you." Val breaks it to the psychopathic groom with her hands together. Eddie stops the torment. With a glance to the gnome, he shakes it, only to hear nothing and see nothing. Just shiny, pristine glass against the shining sun. 

"Oh. My apologies." He throws it behind him, and ignores the pained scream of a teenager in the background; the gnome no doubt hit someone. "It seems I have someone to visit this evening."

"All fine and dandy. Let's go, hm?" Val pulls on the grooms arm to drag him towards you, so you can bond.

 

Marta exhales a breath, happy that Eddie didn't go ballistic like he usually did when someone defied him. She feels a tap on her shoulder, and see's Chris with bloodied hands, and a churro.

"Vant ohne?" He asks with an attempted smile. "....Mmh." She grunts, but takes it anyway.

 

Disney is truly magical, isn't it?

 

...Not to the teenager who is now in the hospital due to gnome-induced injuries, though.

Oops. 

Chapter Text

Hanahaki Disease - Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病 (Japanese); 하나하키병 (Korean); 花吐病 (Chinese)) is a fictional disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim's romantic feelings for their love also disappear. [Hanahaki Disease - Fanlore]


[Protagonists]

Miles - 
Peony - Prosperity & Romance


- I have a feeling Miles would be great socially. He's just a natural charmer, you know?
- Once he falls, he falls hard.
- He doesn't believe in removing his petals. They're apart of him.
- He, also, does not want his love of you to be taken away.
- When you don't reciprocate his feelings, he takes a violent approach, and kidnaps you.
- He doesn't wanna die. You won't be the cause of his death.
- Stockholm syndrome is what he has his mind on. Surely it would work? So the cursed roots in his lungs halt their constant assault?
- The floral killers in his system know better.
- If Walrider ever entered his body, he'd be in a constant state of suffering. He can't die. 
- He'll take bloodied petals and gift them to you.
- Don't let him catch you throwing them out.
- He will constantly hack and cough till the cows come home.

[Reciprocate]

Yes - 


- Hold his hand, because he has a lot of flowers to choke out.
- He wants to keep them all, for some reason.
- He's happy he won't have to deal with his flowers anymore.
- But he's happier knowing you love him back.

No -

- Anger. That's all he can feel.
- Traumatic is an understatement once you see him choke to death on the most gorgeous flowers you've ever seen.
- Beauty is a killer.



Waylon -
Lilly of the Valley - Happiness & Purity 

- He's a generally happy guy.
- Especially with you.
- He understands that if he does get his flowers removed, his chance at forever adoring you will be crushed.
- But if you don't reciprocate his emotions, he will pass away into floral nothingness. 
- I feel like he'd kidnap you out of panic. He doesn't want to die.
- But he doesn't want to lose you either. 
- Fully depends on the delusion that you'll fall for him due to pity, or you'll find his softness to be attractive.
- Bloody bouquets. Goody!
- He wants comfort from you. It's painful.
- Every waking minute is torture.

[Reciprocate]

Yes - 


- Happy boy!
- You wanna get hugged? This is how you get hugged. 
- Hold him as he chokes, okay?
- You'll have fresh flowers when he's done. Woohoo.

No -

- [Crying intensifies] 
- No, seriously...he will cry his eyes out.
- And his lungs.
- ...Too soon?


Blake -
Lisianthus - Gratitude & Everlasting Bond

- Blake would 100% cherish the bond the both of you have.
- He'd dread the things growing in his lungs, but he wouldn't make you worry.
- He wonders if you have them, too.
- He panics whenever you show interest in others that aren't him.
- He'll die. Why can't you see that?
- He didn't tell you. He can't blame you for what you don't know.
- But it eventually gets to the point where he takes you.
- He'll try to be a gentleman, but it's hard when it hurts to breathe.

[Reciprocate]

Yes - 


- Thank God!
- He's so happy!
- And so are his lungs!
- ...Jeeesus, you might wanna...help him.
- Get a bucket. Fast.

No - 

- Disbelief.
- You leave before you see the horrendous downfall of Blake Langermann. 
- His lungs look like a garden once an autopsy is done. 

Lynn -
Bird of Paradise - Joy 

- She desires happiness for the both of you.
- At first, it was in a friendly, platonic way. 
- But now it's romantic.
- Life without you? Craziness.
- You brought her the joy she needed.
- So when she felt like she could cough up a storm, she knew it was time for both of you to connect in a deeper way.
- She was planning to confess at a party.
- Until you started bonding with people there.
- She took you home. And taped you to a chair. Fun!

[Reciprocate]

Yes -

- Time to partyyyyy!
- ...After she gets the pests out of her body.
- But expect a lot of affection. 
- Wipe the blood away from her lips, first.


No - 

- Anger and disbelief in a beloved cocktail = Lynn going bonkers.
- Accepts her death, sadly.
- She can survive cultists but not this. 

[Antagonists]

Eddie -
Array of Roses :
Orange - Desire
Red - Adoration
Lavender - Love at First Sight
Blue - Unobtainable 
Black - Change Or Death


- Your husband here is special!
- At first, the roses in his lungs bloomed lavender; a colour as gorgeous as the dawn.
- As you got closer - why wouldn't you, he's such a gentleman, so rare these days - they begin to shift into orange.
- Getting closer together is such a must! But once you drift away, they turn blue.
- Impossible.
- His death comes, with every moment.
- He has an outburst, and he takes you away.
- As you spend time in the room destined for you, they gradient into a lovely red.

[Reciprocate]

Yes -

- Both decisions result in them going black.
- But, for this one, they turn black as a result of this new life change.
- He won't let you touch his disordered self! This is not what his beloved should be worrying about.
- Let himself deal with the hacking and heaving while you get dressed for dinner, hm?


No - 

- Get away from him; his anger is at a peak.
- You could relate him to a fire cracker.
- Frightening, but slowly fades into nothing.
- You're free.


Val -
Sunflower - Loyalty & Adoration

- This woman would be so devoted to you, you have no idea.
- The flowers in her lungs surely prove that.
- She won't let other people take you, or hurt you, so she uses them as bait.
- She tortures...passively.
- How? By letting your 'potential' love interests develop Hanahaki, and then...
- ...stealing you away!
- They die! And it's all so amusing to her.
- Until she realizes she may die, too.
- If you don't feel what she feels, she is doomed.

[Reciprocate]

Yes - 

- You won't know the results of the outcome until an hour later.
- You don't need to see her when she's at her lowest.
- But once she's outside of the restroom she takes you in for a smooch.
- Romance at its finest!

No - 

- ...What?
- She'll accept it. She'll be pained.
- And dead. But it's okay.
- Just hold her as she fades away,
- and promise her the world. 
- She'll be gone from it, anyway.
- False promises mean nothing to the dead. 

Trager -
Gladiolus - Infatuation 

- [I laugh at this asshole] We meet again, Doctor Trager.
- He is a doctor. Well. Kinda.
- I can see him try to remove the petals himself. He doesn't deserve this kind of pain. He especially doesn't deserve to feel it for someone else.
- But it hurts when he tries. And all the vodka in the world will not give him the courage.
- He wonders why he likes you so much. 
- But he thinks about it.
- You're likeable. You get his jokes. And you don't touch his yogurt in the fridge.
- Spouse material, am I right?
- He asks if you want to be an experiment, and because you've been mindfucked by aliens, you agree.
- Surprise. You're locked to a dentist's chair...????
- He steals teeth. I knew it. I warned you. You got yourself into this mess. Nice job.

[Reciprocate]

Yes -

- He will absolutely allow you to take his yogurt from the fridge, now.
- You both study Hanahaki.
- If you're just as fucked up as he is, you'll do biology experiments.
- [OverWatch Moira voice] MOIRA BY YOUR SIDE
- If you get that, I love you. You, me, Wendy's. Let's go. 



No -

- You know how he tries to fight Miles?? He's gonna do that to you. 
- And steal your TEETH.
- Stay away from his scissors,
- and wait.
- Use the elevator and squish him.
- Free flowers! For the Groom downstairs. So you can tempt him and escape. 
- [Laughter from Miles in the distance] 

Chris -
Hydrangea - Understanding

He loves your understanding towards him.
- He has to contain the Walrider.
- He needs to protect the people.
- You accept his murderous tendencies, and that's what he appreciates most.
- Not many would look at a bloodied big guy like him and think "yeah, I get it".
- He leaves you be, until it occurs to him that Walrider could get you too.
- But you aren't beheaded. Lord, no.
- Much worse.
- Contained in a room with glass doors.

[Reciprocate]

Yes -


- Contain the Walrider together!
- That is your destiny. 
- The thing holding his mouth apart assists him with removing the petals from his lungs.
- Get him out when you're both done.

No - 

- You'll both die if you let him get to you.
- You're both hosts. He'll die by floral fury, but you.
- You can't become a host.
- He'll show his devotion to you by pulling an Alice in Wonderland and taking your head.
- Run.

Marta -
Iris - Wisdom & Trust

- A woman of wisdom; it's rare she finds people she likes.
- But once you bond, she trusts you completely.
- She hopes it is vice versa.
- She prefers you over Knoth any day.
- In a world full of darkness and annoyance [Val is a perv and she's tired of it, for real], you are her light.
- She loves flowers but she'd rather they leave her lungs alone.
- Life isn't pleasant. It doesn't listen to her silent pleas to leave her be.

[Reciprocate]

Yes -
- Excellent!
- Now hold her hand.
- She is...like...really tall. But she likes hugs, so.
- Your face? In her chest? More likely than you think.

No -

- Silence.
- An angry silence.
- ...Is...is that her cross...??
- Run!
- Until she falls over from exhaustion annnnd passes out.


Jeremy -
Hyacinth - Playfulness 

- Jeremy is a playful man.
- He likes to joke around.
- But seeing as he's a business man and everyone he works with is serious as fuck, he doesn't have that pleasure.
- Once you start working under him, he sees he can joke with you.
- In a job like his, you need humour to survive.
- You get promoted.
- Twice.
- In one month.
- Who the fuck is funding this?
- And only when you feel a prick in your neck one afternoon while you sit at your desk, you realize Jeremy is a dickhead.
- So is Richard. The guy who drugged you for Jeremy.
- This wasn't revealed, but apparently Jeremy has flowers growing in his lungs and he'd appreciate it if you loved him so they'd go away.
- ...Do you get paid, though?

[Reciprocate]

Yes - 


- You, my friend, are going to be treated like royalty. 
- He'll give you a bouquet of the flowers Richard had to dig out of his lungs.
- Aren't you lucky??


No -


- [I grip your shoulder] My friend, you will not like this outcome
- But you die. Like. I'm not even kidding, he fucking annihilates you 
- BUT you're used for research so Jeremy can be saved.
- Don't get me wrong, but it'd hurt more if you loved someone else rather than if you died.
- He dies too. But still. The thought counts.
- [His doesn't.]

Chapter Text


 

Most :

Pet name central; your real name is hardly used.

 

Most Likely :

50/50 regarding your real name and pet names. 

 

Neutral :

Not that common, but they're used.

 

Least Likely :

Rare, but they exist.

Least :

Hardly ever used, you'd be lucky if they were.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

"Why did you think leaving without my consent was a good idea, my darling?"

 

Both you, and your supposed spouse sit upon your bed, as he massages your scalp with the intent to relax you after today's events. 

 

What he's referring to is what occurred just mere hours ago - an attempt to save your sanity. He was busy stitching up some fabrics to add to your collection of clothes that reminded you of the 1920s, as if you needed to add any more to your growing amount.

 

The sewing machine was loud. Loud enough to disguise the window breaking. Loud enough to disguise your pained grunts after stepping into broken glass. You were out, until you were not.

Just a mere steps away, a trap blending into the garden snaps around your ankle. Your scream was one of the few things that was louder than the sewing machine, and as soon as your pained screech began, the machine stopped.

 

Heat surrounds your poor foot, and you come to realize that blood is beginning to flood the dirt, and coat the trap. Every second became more menacing as they passed.

 

The back door opened, and you had wondered if that was the last sound you were going to hear before your death.

 

You didn't die, no, but the torture session that took place made you crave the sweet release of your soul. You swear he used every knife in his knife drawer across your flesh.

 

"I..." you gulped. Eddie hums to show he's listening, and he stays quiet until you continue. "I miss the air." you inhale through your nose, "Crisp. Refreshing. It tells me I'm free," you look down into your lap, trying to keep the tears in.

"But I know that every minute I spend in here, I will never be free."

 

Eddie sighs, and grabs your pajama top. He motions for you to lift your arms up. As he prepares your top, he gives you a smile of sympathy. "I can understand that, darling. The air outside is desirable. Especially for someone in this circumstance. I used to be like that..."

 

He pulls the top down onto you - its warm softness embraces your skin, even the lashes and the bruises - and he puts a finger under your chin. "But let me make a promise to you. As soon as you become situated, we will go anywhere you like." 

"Anywhere?" 

You can see he becomes happy once he sees the surprise in your expression. "Anywhere, darling. The fields, the beach..." he trails off, letting you imagine the rest.

 

You bite your lip, knowing how long that will take. Can you speed up Stockholm syndrome? Is there meds for that?

 

Eddie sees your uncertainty. He takes your uneasy hands into his. "You can come with me into the gardens, dear. To start. Is that to your liking?"

 

It's fine. For now.

 

You smile - and it's genuine, when did you last smile so genuinely? - and nod. 

 

"A start." 

 

Chapter Text

me, who has Borderline:

 

Why in the absolute shit are you relating us to psychopathic/sociopathic murderers. Please shut up. Oh my god. I came across this tryna look for ideas and my brain cells are collapsing. I am so confused because idk if this is OFFENSIVE to me or just idiotic?

 

Like...part of me is like "yeah it's unhealthy" but???? brooo nice gatekeeping. wow. I can romanticize yandere behaviours. anybody can. you don't need BPD. BPD is not special or VIP. oh my FUCK 

 

what guilt am I supposedly 'feeling'? I...please explain @ OP because...like...?????

 

But dw guys I HAVE BPD so I can...have a Yanderecore blog??

 

I'm still tackling 3+ chapters but feel free to discuss this w/ me...I don't consider you abliest if you make a yanderecore blog wtf? ummm

 

if you have NO clue what BPD is, i got you dawg

sure, a yandere can have BPD or symptoms, but they can also mainly have psychopathy/sociopathy, so idk what drugs OP are on,

not only that but it's similar to sociopathy.

you guys can do the math while i'm behind my screen, going