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Chocoboys

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  You thought of it nearly every time you saw one of the boys, with the exception of Gladio. The other three however, unless they had recently been out bumbling through the rain, would always bring the thought to the forefront of your mind. 

 

  They looked like Chocobos.

 

  Their hair looked like feathers, with how it was both soft looking and sticking up at odd angles. In your opinion, the boys used way too much hair gel every day for absolutely no reason. Although, you had to admit you didn’t really mind how much they spent on hair products, because the fact that they looked like Chocobos eighty percent of the time was absolutely fantastic. It gave you an excuse to call them each a chocobo. Prompto was an exception in that he always got the nickname of ‘Chocobo’ every day of the year. Sometimes you would joke about it, saying him and his Chocobo looked like twins when they stood next to each other. It helped that they were both blond. 

 

  It wasn’t just the colors of course, Noct’s hair really only matched one out of every thousand chocobo or so, you weren’t sure of the exact numbers. You did know that black feathered Chocobo were rare and essentially one of a kind, just like the prince. Prompto’s blond locks essentially camouflaged him in a group of chocos though. Ignis’ sort of matched some of the Chocobos, but his hair wasn’t as vibrant as Prompto’s.

 

  It was the spikes in their hair. They weren’t really spikes of course, and somehow their hair remained softer than a cat’s fur, but the similar look of the boys hair and the chocobo’s feathers was uncanny. You were at least ninety percent sure it wasn’t just you that noticed it, but nobody else said anything. 

 

  Aside from the immense amusement you get from comparing the boys to chocobos, you also get quite a laugh when they don’t. There is only one time when you can find the boys without their chocobo feathers on their heads: when it rains. Or just when it’s wet for any particular reason, like when they decided to go galavanting through a river, or clambering through the sewers. Either way, it doesn’t happen as much as you’d like. 

 

  When it does happen, it’s like an early birthday present. Not only are the boys usually complaining about the mishap of their hair, but it’s quite a view. Not to say the ten pounds of product in their hair takes away from their sometimes suffocatingly good looks, but let’s just say the lack of it doesn’t exactly take away from their absolutely unfair perfection. You would never explicitly say you prefer the boys with their hair product-free but, you would never explicitly say you prefer their hair looking like chocobo feathers either.

 

  Between you and yourself though, they’re hot no matter what. It’s so unfair. It should be impossible to look good every day. Personally, you halfway think they sold their souls or something. Also, who looks better as they age? It’s like walking around with male models who are always shoot-ready. At least it makes for great social media posts. 

 

  Pictures of you probably make up about ten percent of your accounts while you spam pictures of the pretty boys you spend your days with. The boys sometimes ask why you have so many pictures and videos of them on your accounts. You never answer them. You can’t help it if they’re prettier than you, or the fact the boys gather a few hundred followers daily while you only attract about two every other month. You like to poke fun when some of the comments are particularly rude regarding how close you appear to be with the boys. One of your favorite pastimes is taking pictures of the boys and face swapping them with chocobos for your own amusement.

 

  You may or may not have a folder on your phone dedicated entirely to pictures pointing out similarities between the boys and chocobos. There also may or may not be a thousand or more pictures in said folder. Of course, nobody can prove anything. It’s not like you put a complicated password on your phone that you change weekly to make sure the discovery of the supposed folder never happened.

 

  Okay, maybe you did. In your defense though, it gets really boring when the boys aren’t around, and there’s only so much fanfiction somebody can read before they get bored. Plus it’s just a lot of fun finding new ways to compare the boys to giant birds. Prompto and Noctis are like little chicks and Ignis is the momma bird. You also have to outdo Gladio when you compete to see who can point out the most number of similarities between the chocobos and the three beautiful birdy lookalikes. 

 

  It may not seem like it, but Gladio gives you a run for your money most days. You can’t help it if you're too nice to say Ignis is like an angry momma choco when someone threatens the boys. Or if you have never thought about how Noct is like a Chocobo in the fact they can both sleep absolutely anywhere, anytime of day. You kicked yourself for that one, it was a win in Glady’s favor for sure. He wins a lot, but you win quite a bit too.

 

  The boys like to challenge you sometimes though and even Ignis joins in. Sometimes you try not to rise to the challenge when you know you'll lose but, ‘you lose every battle you don't fight’ after all. That is to say, you literally cannot say no. It's hard to win when the boys join in, because they're not afraid to point out similarities they noticed between themselves and the chocobos or even similarities between you and Chocobos. Like how you'll eat literally anything offered to you, or how you'll chase off anyone with questionable intent who gets too close to the boys. 

 

  Ignis wins essentially every competition he participates in and when he loses, he's somehow able to make it seem like he won anyway. On the rare occasion you do win against Iggy, it still feels like a loss somehow. Then when Prompto wins, usually when Gladio and Ignis neglect to participate, you and Noctis end up singing the Chocobo song with him cause if you didn't Prompto would end up singing it nonstop until it's time to sleep.

 

  Of course, it's the worst when Noctis wins because he doesn't shut up about it until he loses. He's not obnoxious about it or anything, it's just side comments and reminders in between conversations or battles. It gets really annoying when he warps next to you in the middle of a battle to say you get knocked down almost as much as you lose. You can proudly say you've ‘ accidentally ’ tripped Noct in the middle of a battle on several occasions.

 

  At the end of the day though, whether it's against one of the boys or all of them, whether you win or lose, you usually have new ideas for your comparison pictures; Because comparing the boys to chocobos is really all you need.