This is my second Voxman fanfic and a translation as well, the original one is written in Spanish and you can find it on my profile under the same name.
Warning: I got the idea from the short ‘Boxmore informercial’ you need to watch it first to understand, you can easily find it on youtube.
Am I getting puffy?
“… So, what are you waiting for? Come on down to Boxmore!”
“I don't know what you guys think, but for me it's a much bigger success than our old commercial.” Exclaimed Raymond, who had been responsible of editing the video once more.
“Raymond! Why did you cut my jingle again?” Shannon shouted furiously.
“I look so puffy! Am I getting puffy? Tell me the truth.” Lord Boxman said, afraid to see himself in that new commercial. The first time he had worried about looking rounder than he already was; but this time he really got scared.
“No. Of course not daddy!” His son Darrell tried to comfort him.
The boxbots kept arguing about the new commercial, while Boxman left the room, heading for the bathroom. Once there, he got rid of all his clothes and climbed the weight. He checked the result, only to realize that in fact, he had gained weight since the last time he had weighed.
And how not to? If, since Professor Venomous had moved to Boxmore, he spoiled him and his robots as much as they wanted. Constantly, Venomous took him to dinner in elegant places or ordered delicious food at home. In addition, it was normal to surprise him with chocolates, pastries and other sweets. It was simply impossible not to gain weight with so much attention.
Boxman approached the mirror, watching his round figure on it. Literally, his body was an almost perfect circle, and now that he noticed it, his face also looked more filled. But even so, Venomous would still love him, right? He had always been robust and the professor had fallen in love with him, there was no reason to be alarmed.
After having rationalized the situation in his mind, the villain went to his partner's laboratory; finding him pigeonholed in an experiment.
“Hi professor. What are you working on?”
“Boxman, not now please. I’m extremely busy and need concentration.” Venomous refused, without even turning to see him.
Boxman didn’t like that answer, but it wasn’t the first time that happened, so he went to his office to unleash another attack on the plaza and thus distract from his thoughts.
The attack was a fiasco as usual, this time he had sent Shannon, who got along better with Venomous's minion; at least compared to Darrell. But they had failed and returned defeated to Boxman's office.
“Can’t you never do anything right?” Boxman shouted in disappointment.
“Sorry daddy, if it wasn't because Fink tried to take all the credit, this time we would have done it.”
“What are you saying? You were the one who got in my way!” Fink replied totally angry.
“Just stop it and leave my office immediately, I have a lot to do.” The man kicked them out before they started a fight right there.
“Much to do, of course, he just sit in that chair without doing anything, while we do all the hard work. There's no doubt why he has that balloon body!” Fink murmured before leaving, but Boxman listened perfectly.
“Balloon body?” He repeated worriedly. “Don't listen to her, Boxy baby; it's just kid’s nonsense.” He tried to comfort himself, but the insecurity was already stuck in his mind since he saw himself in the commercial.
At dinner time, Boxman ordered food from his favorite restaurant, using Venomous credit card, but no matter how much he looked for him and tried to communicate with him; the man didn’t appear anywhere. Fink wasn’t very helpful, since she told Boxman that she had no idea where her boss was, so he had to resign himself to dinner alone with their children.
At bedtime, he had just gotten in the blankets when Venomous finally showed up. Turning on the bathroom light to brush his teeth and put on his pajamas, minutes later he took his place in bed, next to Boxman.
“Where were you Professor Venomous? Have you had dinner yet?”
“I was... busy in my laboratory. I have no appetite today.”
“Oh, I see...” Boxman smiled mischievously and placed his hand near Venomous's crotch. “Would you like another kind of dinner?”
“Boxman, not now.” Venomous pushed his hand away and turned his back, covering himself completely with the blanket. “I have a terrible migraine, I just want to rest.”
“I understand. Good night Professor…”
Boxman wouldn’t have given so much importance to Venomous’ rejection, if it hadn’t been because in the next couple of days, the situation didn’t change: He locked himself up all day in his laboratory, until late at night, he almost didn’t talk to Boxman, he was in a bad mood and didn't want to touch him at all; not even a little kiss on the cheek for three full days.
“You wanted to see me, father?” Raymond asked as he entered Boxman's office on the fourth day.
“Yes. Yes! Listen Raymond, I need you to help daddy lose weight with exercises.”
“I beg you pardon?”
“You are a sports robot! You have to help me lose weight, I think Professor Venomous doesn't love me anymore because I'm so fat.”
“Oh, but that's not true ... you're not that fat, just strong and robust.”
“You don't have to flatter me to please me, Raymond!" He rebuked him for his obvious attempt of adulation. "Now come on, I need to lose weight as soon as possible.”
The robot wasn’t very convinced of that idea, because his father wasn’t the kind of person who used to do physical activity, but he wanted to help him and who knows? Maybe it turned out that he was a good athlete after all.
After Boxman changed to a more appropriate clothing, with his sweatshirt, his pants, sports shoes and even a band on his head; father and son went to the field behind the factory.
“Well, what will we do now?”
“It seems to me father, that one of the activities that burn calories the most is riding a bicycle. So, I brought this one with me” Raymond said, handing the bike to his creator. “You just have to go around the field, so we will check your resistance.”
“Bicycle huh? I can do that!”
Boxman laughed maniacally, then mounted the vehicle; however, when he climbed both feet to the pedals, he lost his balance and fell sideways.
“Don't you know how to ride a bike?”
“Of course I know!” He shouted angrily as he stood up and climbed on the bike again, which he evidently didn’t know how to use.
On this occasion, Boxman began pedaling awkwardly, the bicycle crank was reeling from one side to the other and soon he fell again.
"Fine, I don't know how to ride a bike." But I don't have time to learn, I need to get rid of this quickly!" He almost begged, as he bounced his belly with his hands. “Next activity!”
“Okay.” Raymond sighed in resignation.
Next, the robot placed some cones on the field.
“What is this for?”
“It's the finish line, now you're going to run, so you have to go around the field and return to this point. Think you can do it?”
“It's a piece of cake!” Again, Boxman laughed with energy, going to the starting line, in position to start running.
“On your mark… ready… NOW!”
Raymond blew his whistle and Boxman quickly started. He ran to everything his thin legs allowed, began to feel agitated and to sweat a lot; but he wouldn’t give up, he had to lose weight soon, or he would lose the love of his adored Professor Venomous. His legs began to ache and he felt that he was short of breath, he was breathing hard and sweat was already running down his forehead; finally he succumbed to fatigue and fell down.
“And… well… how… did… I… do… Ray-mond?” He consulted with his son, while trying to catch his breath.
"You ran a couple of meters...”1 The robot replied dryly, rolling his eyes at his father's pathetic physical condition.
Boxman couldn’t believe it, turned to look toward the starting line, only to realize that in fact, he had run a short distance, although for him it had felt as if he had run a kilometer. Disappointed in himself, he dropped onto his back.
“It can’t be!” He shouted angrily
“Don't be so hard on yourself father.” Raymond picked him up and gave him a bottle of water, which Boxman drank in one swallow.
“Let's go for the next activity!” He ordered at a not very convinced Raymond.
The robot placed an exercise mat on the floor and pressing a button on his arm, a moving music coming from him started to play.
"Now we will practice aerobics. It will be easy since you don't have to move from this place. Just do what I do.”
“I’ll do this! You'll see professor, in a short time I will have the body of an Adonis!”
Raymond began to make movements, according to the rhythm of the music: jumps, lifting arms and legs, knee and elbow flexion, somersaults, stooping and getting up; among other exercises. He had started slowly, but still, Boxman wasn’t able to keep up. He ended up more exhausted than ever, and quite beaten, since he fell several times when he lost his balance.
Just when Boxman was doing tantrums, having failed to do any of the activities that his son tried to teach him, Shannon was passing by the field and headed towards them.
“And now, what happened to him?”
“He says he wants to lose weight, but to be honest, his physical condition is very bad. He couldn’t perform even the simplest activities.” Raymond told his sister in a whisper, so his father wouldn't hear him.
“Leave it to me!” Shannon hit her metal chest in a proud gesture and turned to their father, who continued grumbling alone. "Hey daddy, what would you think if I tell you, you can lose weight while eating?"
“What?!” Boxman stopped his tantrum immediately, to pay full attention to his daughter. “What do you mean?”
“All you have to do is a diet. There are many types, but the important thing is to take care of what you eat.” The robot explained. Although she didn’t need to do any diet, because the robots couldn’t get fat, she had read lots of beauty magazines “I can help you create a diet plan, which will make you slim in the blink of an eye.”
“Is that true Shannon? It was to be expected of my favorite daughter! Let's go inside and you can tell me more about it.”
Boxman took his daughter, hugging her by the waist, while Raymond frowned and stuck out his tongue, preparing to store all the implements they used for the failed exercises.
“I bet you twenty-five dollars that he won't make it.” He told one of his replicas, who was passing by and they both started laughing out loud, mockingly.
“It’s done! What do you think, daddy?” Proud of her work, Shannon handed Boxman the diet plan he had to follow to lose weight.
“Are you sure about this Shannon?” Asked Boxman, incredulously and alarmed, since she was basically telling him that he had to starve himself.
“Of course! It’s what all beauty magazines suggest. You can drink a lot of water if you feel you are hungry.” The robot smiled at him and patted his shoulder, leaving him alone in the kitchen.
Boxman wasn’t very convinced, however he thought that if it was his daughter recommendation, it had to be true. So, from that moment, he decided that he would follow that diet strictly. As it was time for lunch, he could start immediately, and just in time, since his morning physical effort made him very hungry.
But to his bad fortune, that diet didn’t allow him to eat enough to satisfy his appetite. Basically, he had to eat lettuce and tomato salad, and a glass of water. So, after devouring his plate quickly, his stomach continued to roar in despair.
“Come on Boxy, you can stand this, do it for your relationship with PV.” He told himself, and decided that if he couldn't eat, it would be best to take a nap to fool his stomach.
The villain managed to sleep for a full hour, but the growl of his stomach woke him up. He then remembered what his daughter told him, so he rushed to the kitchen and drank a full bottle of water, in order to calm his hunger. Although it didn’t work too well.
He locked himself in his office, dying of rage, since hunger caused him to be in a bad mood. Every time someone came in, he ended up yelling at them furiously and throwing them out of there. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone, not even attacking the plaza would improve his mood at that time. Boxman stared at the clock on the wall, counting the minutes for dinner time.
After what seemed like an eternity, it was finally time to eat. But to his misfortune, the plan Shannon had given him indicated that for dinner, he should have a simple soup. Which Boxman ate quickly, without satisfying his hunger even a little.
“How is the diet going, daddy?” His daughter asked, smiling at him.
“Excellent! Everything is going great. I already feel much lighter.” Boxman declared, then laughed like crazy, and it was that hunger already had him in that state.
Both raised their thumb and smiled at each other. Shannon retired to her room with her brothers, and Boxman went to the refrigerator, to get a bottle of water, while he watched all the other delicious things they had stored there and that he wasn’t allowed to eat. The man drank the full bottle of water and decided that he’d go to bed early.
Once again, he managed to fall asleep quickly, but as he had drunk so much liquid, he had to get up to go to the bathroom, a few hours later. He found that Venomous had not yet returned and that made him feel quite sad.
As he washed his hands, he observed himself in the mirror above the sink, and began speaking to himself:
“Today I did a lot of exercise and diet, maybe I’m already losing weight. He told himself, watching his round face, looking for some change.”
The only one who answered him was his stomach, roaring fiercely from hunger.
“I am so hungry!” He complained, stroking his belly. “I guess, since it's already midnight, it counts as a new day and I can go to eat breakfast.”
With a renewed mood at his bright observation, Boxman made his way to the kitchen. He checked the sheet Shannon gave him, verifying that he was only entitled to drink a cup of unsweetened coffee with a toast without butter.
“WHAT?!” He shouted angrily, then proceeded to prepare his breakfast.
Boxman ate the toast in one bite and drank his coffee quickly, feeling a terrible burning in his stomach and hunger getting worse. He felt very angry and couldn't make his belly stop growling. So finally, he gave up, tore the sheet on which his diet plan was written and attacked the refrigerator; starting to eat everything he found, as if there was no tomorrow.
“Boxboss?” Fink's voice called him, and he turned, finding her at the kitchen door.
“Hi, Fink. What brings you here?” He questioned nervously, trying to hide the evidence of his food binge, although he had his whole face smeared with meringue, since he was cramming himself with a piece of cake, he had saved the day before.
“I came for a glass of water…” The girl replied, raising one of her eyebrows, judging him with her eyes. “What are you doing?”
“I'm doing nothing.”
“You have cream all over your face.”
“Okay...” He sighed “Shannon put me on a diet, since I want to lose weight, but to be honest I couldn't stand it. I was too hungry.”
“Why do you want to lose weight?”
“I'm afraid PV doesn’t like me anymore, because I'm getting too fat. Or what other reason would there be for him to have been avoiding me all these days? He doesn't even sleep next to me anymore!” He whined.
“Oh yes, it must be that...” Fink coughed uncomfortably “If you can't make a diet, you could try working out.”
“I tried with Raymond’s help, but it was a failure. I can't ride a bike, run or do aerobics.”
“In that case, I think I have just the perfect activity. See you in the morning at your office, Boxbu... Boxman!”
The next day, Fink showed up at Lord Boxman's office, in the morning. He was already there, sitting behind his desk and waiting for the girl; eager to know what her idea was.
“Well Fink? What do you have planned for me?”
“We’ll attack the plaza!”
“You couldn’t work out because is lame and boring, but attacking the plaza is a very fun physical activity. What do you think about my idea?”
“You may be right…” He said thoughtfully “Let's do it!!!”
Boxman positioned himself in the middle of the room next to Fink, and pressed the button on his remote control; both were surrounded by one of his boxes, which quickly took them to the plaza.
“Prepare for your destruction fools!” They shouted in unison, when the box opened in front of Gar's bodega. Immediately, they started shooting like crazy with their laser beam guns.
“Oh no! it’s Fink and… Lord Boxman?” KO shouted, somewhat confused.
“What is he doing here?” Rad added, who didn't understand anything either.
“We'll kick his ass anyway. Come on!” Enid urged them, and the three went out to fight the villains.
As predictable, the three heroes defeated the villains after their battle. Boxman was a powerful man, but he couldn't against all three, even with Fink's help. In addition, he was quite rusty when it came to fighting; since he always sent his robots.
Boxman and Fink returned to Boxmore, defeated and hurt. For the girl it was something normal, but the man felt really discouraged.
“I guess, this is not for me. Thank you anyway kid, it was fun.” Boxman lightly stroked Fink's head and headed for his room, deeply upset in himself.
Boxman entered the bathroom of his room once more and looked his reflection in the mirror with disappointment. He was sure that now there would be no way he could recover his beloved professor. He already counted on Venomous leaving him for a better villain.
Sighing, he sat on his bed, about to release the cry at the thought of separating from Venomous; whom he loved as he hadn’t loved anyone in his life, and with whom he had shared the best moments. Then, the room door slammed open.
“Boxman! Are you here?” It was Venomous, who was carrying a huge bouquet of green and purple roses; in addition to a large box of chocolates.
“There you are...” Venomous approached Boxman, planting a loud, wet kiss on his lips, then handed him the gifts “I want you to get ready. Tonight I will take you to dinner at a very elegant restaurant.”
“I want to compensate you, I've been very busy these days and we haven't spent too much time together. But I have already finished my research, and I promise that I won’t leave you alone anymore, I hope you can forgive me.”
“So, you weren’t avoiding me for being so fat?” Boxman asked, totally confused, without understanding what was happening.
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“I’ve gained weight lately, and I thought you didn’t love me anymore because of that. I tried to exercise and diet, even attacking the plaza on my own; to be able to lose weight. But nothing worked and I thought I had already lost you.”
“That’s nosense Boxy! I love you, no matter how much you weigh or how you look.” Venomous sat on the bed beside him, and wrapped him in his arms, stroking his round belly. “I adore that there is so much of you to love, besides, you are soft and warm. Not to mention, how sexy you are, I’d like to eat you all whole.”
Venomous looked at him with lasciviousness, trapping his lips with his own, to kiss him with more depth and passion, while his hands caressed everything they could, from the soft body of his lover.
“You're delicious Boxy, I'd be a fool if I let you go.”
“Oh, Professor Venomous!” Boxman didn’t fit in himself with happiness, and he felt totally stupid, having misunderstood the situation.
Almost crying with joy, Boxman hugged Venomous tightly, and filled his face with short kisses.
“Don’t think that kind of nonsense again. Now go to get dressed. We’ll go to dinner, then you can eat the chocolates that I brought you, they are of very good quality.” Venomous winked at him. “And at night, it’ll be my turn to take my dessert.” He added after pinching one of his cheeks affectionately. And when Boxman got up, he also slapped his butt, to which Boxman just laughed.
Lord Boxman hurriedly put on his best elegant suit, excited for the reconciliation, which he knew would end very well. He put on his shirt, which was very tight, but he didn't care. Although when he tried to put on his pants, he had more problems. He stuck his stomach as much as he could, and after much struggle, he managed to get into the garment. To his bad luck, when he tried to take a step, his pants ripped, leaving his butt exposed.
"Hmm, PV, I think I have a little problem ..."
1 Sorry, in most of the world we use meters instead of feet, so I left it that way.
Thanks for reading! I hope you have enjoyed this story as much as I did when I wrote it. People liked my original version, I’ll be glad if it’s the same for the translation.
If you liked it, I invite you to go to my profile, where I have more Ok KO translations.
Besides, if you’re a fan of Cartoons, you may want to read my Samurai Jack x Johnny Bravo crossover, called “Jack Last journey” which you can also find on my profile.