I let out a sharp breath as a feather like contraption caressed my bare skin up and down my torso. The room was cool from the centralized AC but my skin was burning hot I felt like I was gonna spontaneously combust any time soon.
Somewhere in the room, I could imagine a certain blue eyed, brown haired man smirking to the heavens (or hell, from my perspective of course) at my obvious discomfort and need for release. Making an attempt to distract myself no matter how challenging it seemed, my mind drifted back to the events that led me to where I am now.
About 24 hours ago
"Just here is fine, Naima," I tell my friend and she cuts off the engine before looking over towards a few houses ahead.
"You are so fucking screwed, Y/N," Naima tells me with a smirk. "Sebastian will be so furious when he sees that video."
She moves to hug me and I return it. "Ugh, don't remind me. Why did I ever--"
"Just go home to your man, whatever happens tomorrow happens...call me ok?"
I nod and squeeze her for a hug one last time before extricating myself from her and get out of the car. Each step I took felt heavy, knowing what happened during the concert. It was barely innocent but I couldn't help myself.
Don't get me wrong, I fell in love with Seb not because he was this big movie star. Hell, I didn’t even know who he was until after the third date. I almost wanted to punch him in the face for keeping that away from me. But when he explained himself, I could almost feel his longing for normalcy and I just caved in and forgave him. I would never forget that day, it was when he first kissed me.
As we got to know each other, I told him all about my love for the Backstreet Boys. How their music became my escape from the stresses of moving to one foster home to another. It was literally what saved my life. I thought of cutting my wrists but then Larger Than Life played on the radio and I suddenly found myself throwing the blade and danced around in my room until my feet hurt. Sebastian understood this, having gone through a bout of depression himself. That's why when they announced that they were going on tour, Seb was quick to buy me a ticket and surprised me with it.
What I didn't realize that I was in for a surprise myself during the concert as well.
The concert began innocently enough. I nearly lost it when the Boys came out, everyone looked so good, their age complimenting them. I screamed my lungs out to every song like I was sixteen again and though those years were some of the worst in my life, knowing that their music was what helped me get through them made the songs even more meaningful. I was thoroughly enjoying myself with my best friend Naima until the set came to All I Have to Give. The Boys' schtick was to pick five girls from the crowd to serenade complete with flowers throughout the entire routine of the song. From the videos I've seen, nearly everyone got extremely flirty and playful, especially AJ who has made no secret to the world that he was now a single man once again after his 2nd divorce. A tiny tingle of nerves started building when he picked me from the crowd, immediately thinking about Sebastian and his possessiveness.
Then again, we've both done a great job of keeping our relationship almost out of the public eye. Almost, because we both have slipped unceremoniously, posting at the same time after I agreed to make us official. Given his history of exes, we were thoroughly scrubbed by his publicist and manager about keeping our relationship to ourselves and to the closest family and most trusted friends only moving forward. Majority of his fans were sweet and understanding about it, but we couldn't do anything anymore about the picture of us kissing below the boardwalk in Coney Island and he could only ask for them to stop sharing it any further in social media. After that incident, we had been very careful about our activities especially if it required for both of us to be together out in public. Over the last few years, we perfected the art of timing our appearances so that we were never photographed together or have me identified as being with him. I think this is where he developed his possessive streak, one that I always tried to avoid. He wouldn't 'punish' me per se, but he'd rather take his frustrations with me in bed, if you know what I mean. Don't get me wrong, Sebastian is probably the best, most attentive lover I've had, but he has the tendency to push me to my extremes. It's okay every once in a while, but I would much rather have equal footing with him during sex.
The tingle of nerves slowly grew to a shaking bundle by the time the 2nd verse to the song came where AJ's part was. He started dancing around me while I was seated and began grinding on my sides before handing me a one-stemmed rose before planting a feather like kiss on my lips. The crowd roared at this while I went white in the face. I started panicking as soon as I got back to Naima's side.
"It's alright," she kept reassuring me but by the time the concert ended, I could hear whispers about how some people have recognized me as Sebastian Stan's girlfriend. I was almost in the verge of tears by the time we got in the car. I wanted to punch myself for being so reckless. Sebastian would probably want to break up with me once he sees those videos.
I tiptoed quietly into our shared room and let out a little breath of relief upon seeing him sound asleep, snoring softly. I quickly got dressed for bed and snaked my arms around him from behind, his warmth and steady breathing lulling me to sleep in minutes despite me dreading what would happen later in the day.
A lone tear escapes my eye but Sebastian doesn't see as I was blindfolded aside from having my hands tied on both ends of the bed. It wasn't tight but it would be if I tried to tug on them. But that wasn't why I was in the verge of tears. The teasing has pushed me farther than ever before and I couldn't bear the pain any more. I had to bite my lip hard to stifle the onslaught of tears that were coming. I must have been biting too hard because I then heard Seb groan, dropping the flogger on the floor and crawled to the bed in front of me.
"Fuck baby, stop biting your lip, you're gonna hurt yourself," he grunts out, his own frustration becoming more obvious. His fingers start caressing my thighs, purposefully avoiding the place I want him to touch me the most. The act makes me whimper and shudder, my body jerking with every feather-like touch and driving me even crazier.
I let out another breathy shudder when the tip of his index finger accidentally (who knows at this point with the bastard) grazes the tip of my clit. "S-s-seb, please--I c-an't...please touch me, I need you baby, please..." I stuttered out brokenly, the only thing my mind can focus on is the need for release. I was growing delirious by each passing second he doesn't do anything.
"You didn't seem to need me when that washed up boy bander was grinding all over you," Sebastian stated matter of factly. Oh god, how long will he keep this up? He must be so painfully rock hard by now as it seemed he'd been teasing me and getting me all wound up for almost an hour now. "Even letting him steal a kiss? Who the fuck does he think he is?!" he growls out before harshly pushing not just two but three fingers at the same time at my quivering heat. My body arches sharply off the bed at the intrusion while a groan that was equal parts in pain and pleasure escapes my lips.
"Fuck, Seb," I gasp out loud. "More," I command. He makes a clicking sound and begins to move his fingers in an agonizingly turtle-like pace. I try to move my hips to spur him on but he murmurs 'nuh-uh' and holds me down to prevent me from moving any further.
"You don't get to tell me what to do, Y/N," he says lowly with a hint of threat. "What you can do is answer my question."
I nod vigorously. His fingers start moving a little quicker but it wasn't enough, still not enough. I needed more. I was gonna explode.
"Tell me," Sebastian begins. "Who do you belong to?"
It was right after the question he decides to curl up his middle finger, grazing my spot and making me jerk violently against his restraints. "Not the answer I was looking for, sweetheart. Use your fucking words...who the fuck do you belong to?!"
He does it again and I could swear I saw stars right at the moment. "Oh god, you, Sebastian, YOU!"
"Good girl," he pumps a couple more times before pulling out, nearly making me scream at the loss. I then hear the rustle of fabric before he grazes his length on my bare leg. "Feel how hard you make me? God, Y/N, I've been hard for as long as you've been naked now but I have to teach you a lesson."
"Seb, baby, please..I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have let that happen...I shouldn't have--mmnngghh!"
He muffles my words by crushing his lips on mine, I was sure there'd be bruises afterwards. He kisses me with such possessiveness and feral need that I couldn't find it in me to deny him my own mouth. I immediately open up to him. He was all tongue and teeth and fuck if that didn't turn me on even further. He was groaning against my lips and the neediness in each pass didn't escape my ears. He then breaks off to hover his lips over my ear.
"I thought I'd ruined you for every man, but apparently I need to do it again," he grunts before sucking on my earlobe. His left hand snakes down to my core once again, pushing the same three fingers but this time moving them at a nearly inhuman speed. I push my head back further into the pillow and breathe out a satisfied 'yes' while Sebastian alternated on sucking and kissing my pulse point. I could feel my stomach tightening once again and began chasing the release I had been so desperate for for about an hour now. Just as I felt it reaching the edge, he pulls out his fingers again, this time making me growl in frustration. Before I could even protest, he slams his rock hard erection inside me, the suddenness of the action, making us both groan out loud against each other's skins--he on my neck and me over his shoulder.
"Oh god, fuck, Y/N baby, still so tight..a-and warm...slick, mmmnnnhhh…," he moans out while he steadies himself inside me. He then takes off my blindfold, allowing me to see him. The sight that greeted me took my breath away--Sebastian looked just as wrecked as I was, not a single strand of hair in place, the veins in his forehead jutting out in restraint all culminating in his darkened, blown eyes as he regarded me with wild, unadulterated lust.
"You're mine only, understand?"
"Yes, yes, only yours, baby...now please move," I pleaded. His gaze softens a bit before he rises above me slightly and begins pumping in and out of me in a punishing speed. I lock my ankles at the dip of his back, letting him push deeper into me with each thrust. I loosen my hold of him a little and began thrusting my hips upwards to meet him thrust by thrust. Soon enough, the only sounds in the room were our grunts and moans, interspersed with our skin slapping against each others'. Sebastian drops his head on the crook of my neck and with a painful groan he tells me, "M'not gonna fuck--ing last, baby girl, tell me--oh shit--you're close, please."
The way he sounded so pleadingly desperate only pushed me to the edge of my own impending orgasm. I didn't know what I said to him in response, but just after a few more strokes, we both came together at the same time, our bodies jerking violently against each other. I could feel ropes and ropes of his cum mix with my own release, causing me to scream his name out loud before passing out due to exhaustion and the intensity of the shared orgasm Seb and I shared.
I woke up hours later, sometime around 2 in the morning feeling sore and thoroughly spent by the previous hour's activities. Sebastian was sleeping soundly beside me and I took the opportunity to slip out of bed and clean up. Careful not to wake him, I tiptoed to the en suite and turned on the lamp by the vanity mirror. I gasped at the woman looking back at me. Disheveled hair, lips slightly swollen and a few strategically placed love marks on my neck, I was a picture of someone who got totally fucked properly. My legs and arms were beginning to feel sore and although I didn't mind them, tears started falling from my eyes anyway, recalling the reason why Seb had done this to me. He should be throwing me out, not fucking me like I'm some goddess that he thinks I am. I let another man kiss me, in public, for the whole world to see. What does that make me?
Putting on the first shirt I could get my hands on, (Sebastian's, who else, what about that) I crouched to the floor and let the tears flow.
Within minutes, a pair of strong arms were gently lifting me off the floor and out of the bathroom. I fought not to wrap my arms around his neck, but he wouldn't let me. As soon as our bodies touched, I cried harder in his arms while he rocked me gingerly after laying the both of us back in the bed.
"Hey, sshhh….it's alright, I'm sorry if I hurt you...you know I never meant to...I'm sorry...," Sebastian kept repeating this for I don't know how long. I continued to cry myself to exhaustion, and through it he just held me close. I could feel his fear that I might pull away the second he loosens his hold on me and so despite the stinging guilt, I let him.
We both fell asleep in that position until late in the morning. It was Sebastian who awoke first this time, causing me to wake up as well. I felt so drained despite the sleep and yet I knew I couldn't sleep any more.
"Hi," Seb greets me softly before we both lied down on our sides facing each other. "How are you feeling?"
I could feel the onset of tears once more but Sebastian shakes his head. "Don't do that," he commands. "It was my fault, I pushed you too hard last night. I got so blinded by my jealousy that I didn't realize I was hurting you already. You should be the one mad at me."
"But I let a man kiss me in front of thousands of people," I protest, but my voice sounded weak and hoarse. "I don't deserve your forgiveness," I say sadly.
"Y/N, I know you'd never cheat on me, ever. I shouldn't have let my possessiveness and selfishness get the best of me. I saw how uncomfortable you got after he kissed you. You froze and I could see the terror in your eyes, but I ignored those. So please, I'm asking you not to blame yourself and forgive me for being such a class A dumbass."
I look at him with watery eyes and slowly nodded. "I'm sorry too. Your people would be so furious."
"Fuck my manager and publicist, let them work for the money I pay them with," Sebastian says nonchalantly before leaning forward to kiss me again.