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Baby's back

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This is a translation, if you know Spanish, you can look for the original version on my profile.

This was my very first Voxman fanfic, I wrote it a couple of weeks before the show’s finale. Chronologically it’s located pre-Big Reveal.

Please be aware that my English is not super good, therefore I appreciate any correction on my mistakes.

Hope you like it!

 


 

Baby’s back

 

“Already back, Darrell?” Lord Boxman asked to the head of his robot, which had just landed on his desk. He had sent him to attack the plaza just ten minutes ago and he was already been defeated.

“I'm sorry, daddy. I promise I won’t disappoint you next time.” Begged Darrell's head.

“No, you won’t...” Boxman pressed a button and the head exploded, then a hatch in his office opened and a new Darrell appeared.

“Return to your obligations.” He ordered, then letting out a long sigh.

“As you wish, daddy!” Darrell cheerfully left his father's office.

Professor Venomous had witnessed all this, since he was sitting next to Boxman in his office, monitoring the attack that day.

“Is there something wrong, Boxman?” Asked Venomous, showing some concern. It wasn’t normal for Boxman not to enjoy one of their attacks; losing, was part of the fun after all.

“No, it's nothing.”  Boxman shrugged and left the office, heading down to supervise the manufacturing of robots at the plant.

“What's wrong with the Boxbutt, Boss?” Fink questioned. She also accompanied them, since she didn’t participated in the attack. She didn’t care much about her ‘stepfather/boss’, but she was also curious to find out what happened with him.

“I don't know, Fink, I don't know.” Venomous accepted thoughtfully “We should do something to improve his mood though, but what could it be?”

“The best way to find out is, if we snoop in his things.” The minion suggested, mischievously.

“Excellent idea, Fink!”

“To Boxman’s laboratory!!!” The two declared in unison, smiling wickedly.

Both went to the place, where Boxman gave life to his creations to destroy the plaza. They began to search every corner, looking for something that would give them an indication of how to make him feel better, whatever it was that was happening to him.

“Hey, boss! What is this?” Fink found inside the drawers, some kind of blueprints, which she handed to the professor.

“Hmmm, I'm not sure ...” The professor thoughtfully analyzed the blueprints, until he found something that seemed very familiar. “It can’t be! So, this is what he did with that...”

“What is it? What did you found, boss?”

“Oh, it's nothing.” Venomous rolled up the blueprints and placed them under his arm. “Come on Fink, we won't find anything useful here. I think it’ll be better to resort to the old methods.”

“Will we torture him until he smiles?”

“Oh heavens, no! Fink, as Boxman often says: ‘we are villains, not monsters’.”

The girl showed her tongue childishly and withdrew to go playing one of her videos game1, while Venomous headed to his own laboratory, where he quickly started working. Then, he would prepare a delicious dinner for Boxman and will talk to him. With some luck, he would find what it was that had him so discouraged and if not, he knew what he could do, to put Boxman in a good mood again.


Unlike the strange mutant foods or charred Boxman’s dishes, Venomous was a pretty decent cook2. So, by the evening, he had a good dinner ready, which they would enjoy by candlelight. He also took care of giving Ernesto enough money, to take the rest of the robots and Fink out; that way they could be alone.

In the evening, Boxman entered the dining room with the purpose of making a sandwich or a bowl of cereal for dinner, but what was his surprise when he found the table set, with a candleholder, candles lit and an elaborate and warm dinner.

“What is all this?”

“Oh Boxman! You’re just in time to dine.”

“Professor ...” The shorter man couldn’t ask his question, since Venomous took him by the hand to lead him to the table, pushed the chair away to help him sit down, always smiling at him gallantly.

“I figured we could have a dinner just for the two of us, don't worry, I sent the kids to the arcade. So there will be no one to interrupt us.”

“Oh ...” Boxman blushed and more by seeing how terribly handsome Venomous looked bathed the candlelight.

Venomous proceeded to serve a dish for his partner and one for him.

“I hope you like it, it's the first time I've cooked since I moved to Boxmore.”

He sat down and began to eat in silence. Lord Boxman imitated him, getting surprised at how well the food prepared by the professor tasted. Is there something that he do wrong? He wondered.

“Boxy,” Venomous broke the silence, putting his silverware aside to place a hand on the back of his neck, as he looked away. “actually, there is something I want to ask you.”

“Tell me! Professor.” That had taken him by surprise and he ended up dropping his fork, so he rushed to the floor to pick it up.

Venomous hurried, crouching in front of him, and there on the floor, he took both of Boxman's hands in his; staring at him.

“Is there something wrong, Boxy? You are not yourself lately.”

“Oh ...” Boxman's racing heart and the nervousness of having Venomous so close and taking his hands, didn't help him at all. “Nothing happens to me! Why do you ask?” Laughed nervously.

“I've noticed you’re feeling down lately, Boxman.”

“Well, it's true ...” He sighed. “I don't know. Attacking the plaza has not been as fun as usual. I feel that every day is the same as the previous one.”

“In that case, I think I have the solution to your problem.” Venomous stood up and helped Boxman to do the same, instructing him to take a seat.

From the pocket of his lab coat that was hanging on the wall, Venomous took out a small, dark purple box, and from the kitchen countertop, he took the blueprints he had found in Boxman's laboratory. Kneeling in front of him, he proceeded to hand over the papers.

“This is ...” Boxman was astonished, much more, when he watched as Venomous opened the box, showing its content. “Professor…”

“Boxy, would you like to build another child with me?” Venomous gave him the cutest smile that his sharp features allowed him; handing him a new bio-chip, like the one he gave Boxman the first time.

“Yes! Yes! Yes, I do!” Boxman, who couldn't feel happier at that moment, rushed to hug Venomous, reaching him up in his arms to begin spinning around childishly, while carrying him. “Oh, Professor Venomous, you make me the happiest villain in the universe!”

Satisfied with the result of his proposal, Venomous crossed his arms over Boxman's shoulders, to hug him and whisper in his ear:

“This is going to be a lot of fun. I can’t wait!” Finally, both villains shared an accomplice look and kissed softly.


 

“What is what daddy and the professor are doing? They haven’t left that stupid laboratory and we haven’t attacked the plaza in days.” Shannon complained.

“I don't know, but some days ago Boxbu... Boxman, was acting weird and now this happens. I think it's suspicious...”

“Do you think that they are working on improvements for us?” Darrell added excitedly.

“It could be! After all, the latest modifications our stepfather made us, were not very efficient in destroying those foolish heroes.” Raymond concluded thoughtfully.

“I'm Jethro...”

Meanwhile, in the laboratory, Boxman and Professor Venomous were very concentrated building their new robot. They were extremely excited, since they knew that this new addition to their family would bring them much joy; but more than anything, they were enthusiastic by the fact that this time, they were doing it together.

“It's almost complete! We just have to place the chip.”

“Professor, the last time your chip was so powerful, that those fools in the plaza ended up killing my baby. Do you think that this time we could make it a little less lethal?” Boxman had thought about repairing their last time’s mistake, since losing the baby at KO’s hands, had not been a pleasant experience.

“I get it. Beating those pathetic heroes would be good for a change, but not at the cost of destroying our son.”

“Oh, professor...” Moved and also flushed, hearing that Venomous already called their creation ‘son’, Boxman hugged him tightly.

“I’ll have to make modifications and also some tests; but it’ll be ready in a couple of days. In the meantime, I think it's time to introduce the children to their new brother.”

The laboratory door finally opened, revealing a smokescreen from which both evil scientists emerged.

“Children!” Boxman called them, and quickly all of his robots and Fink reported in front of them.

“We have a surprise for you.” Venomous announced.

“Gifts?”

“New improvements?”

“Super lethal weapons?”

“Vacations”

“I am Jethro.”

“None of that.” Boxman then uncovered the bulge in his arms and lifted it in the air, to show them.

“Say hello to your new brother: Boxman Junior!” Both parents announced in unison.

“Version two” Boxman added, winking.

“WHAT?!” While the rest of their siblings were glad to see again, the baby they had lost time ago. Both Darrell and Fink shouted in displease.

Darrell from the first time disliked the baby, since his father announced him as his favorite son and the competition was strong between siblings. He didn’t want to go through that again, although both Boxman and himself had already learned their lesson.

For his part, Fink simply hated having to share Professor Venomous. It had been quite difficult for her to accept that her boss loved Boxman and that now he and the rest of the robots were going to be part of their family. But from that, to having a son of both, there was an abysmal difference. She was afraid of being left aside for focusing all their attention on their new son. Also, knowing her boss, she was sure that this robot was going to be much more powerful than the others and she hated to admit it; more powerful than herself.

“Darrell, Fink, you don't have to be jealous. Boxman Junior will help you attack the plaza. You’ll see that it’ll be much more fun.” Venomous assured them.

“We are not jealous!” The two shouted, pouting and ran each by their side.

“Oh don't mind them, professor, they’ll give up in no time.” Boxman had experience with Darrell's tantrums, and although the last time, the whole situation hadn’t been so beneficial, they had already solved the biggest problems they had; he knew there was nothing to worry about.

The baby was the great novelty for the family, especially for Lord Boxman and Professor Venomous, who had always raised their children/minions in solitary. Venomous didn't want to admit it, but he was excited by the idea of co-paternity and Boxman; had already expressed enough, how happy it made him seeing his son again and that this time, his two parents were present to raise him.

But as long as the bio-chip was not implanted, Boxman Junior was only a quiet and peaceful baby, with the same needs as those made of flesh and blood. So at the first night of being activated, the trouble began:

Boxman had left the baby in his crib, but when they were deeply asleep, he woke up and began to cry, and his weeping, was even more annoying than that of an organic baby.

“The baby is awake, Boxman.” Venomous complained, still half asleep.

“Boxy, you have to go check what happens.” But the man next to him, slept peacefully, showing no signs of waking up. Apparently Boxman was a heavy sleeper. So with resignation, Venomous stretched and went to the cradle.

“What should I do? Now that I think about it, I had never taken care of a baby.” The professor had no idea what to do. When he found Fink, she no longer needed as much care as a newborn. Venomous took the baby in his arms and began to lull him awkwardly, hissing with his tongue, in an unsuccessful eagerness to calm him.

“Come on, come on, shut up at once.”

But the baby didn’t stop crying, it even seemed that his weeping became louder by time.

“Do you want to eat? Are you hungry?” He asked, but the baby didn't answer, since he still couldn't speak.

“What's up, boss? Why does that silly robot keep making noise?” Fink's sense of hearing was much more developed than that of others, so from her room she heard the baby's whining and went to his boss's room. The anger of the afternoon had already passed and she thought it was better if she tried to help the professor. Going against his wishes, it had never been a clever decision anyway.

“Fink, this ‘silly robot’ is my son, don't forget it.” He rebuked her, paternally. “Can you help me? I think he's hungry, please go get his bottle, while I try to make him calm down, will you?”

Reluctantly, Fink went to the kitchen, where she filled a bottle with the oil that the other robots use to drink. She didn't think that ridiculous robot could drink milk, as she would have done. She returned quickly with her boss and handed him the bottle.

“I didn't know what to put on it, so I used the oil the other robots drink.”

“That'll do.”

Venomous offered the bottle to the baby, who accepted it without complications and began drinking.

“When he's quiet, he can be pretty cute.” Venomous said, smiling sweetly.

“Yes he is...” Fink had been absorbed, watching the baby feeding, and after all he didn't seem so ugly to her, now that he had stopped crying. “NO! I mean… I better go to bed.” She retracted what she said, when she realized her mistake and ran on all fours to go faster, feeling her face burning in embarrassment.

“That Fink…” Venomous laughed to himself. After the baby finished his bottle, he was asleep again, so he left him in his crib and very tired, but relieved; he lay down again.

Just a couple of hours after that, the baby began to cry once more, waking him.

“Boxman, Boxman! It's your turn!” He tried to wake up his partner, but although this time he even shook him, Boxman just turned around and kept sleeping.

“I can’t believe it!”

Venomous went to the crib, and lifted the baby in his arms again, trying to lull him. But then he felt something wet and realized that he had dirtied his diaper.

“Ugh! Just what I needed!” If Venomous had no idea on how to care for a baby, changing diapers was a territory totally unknown for him. He took the baby to the bathroom, where they had already arranged a changing table. It had all the implements, but he didn't know where to start.

“Daddy? I mean, professor?” That night, Darrell had not struck eye out of the jealousy that he was feeling by the arrival of his new brother. He was thinking about how he could compete against him and win his father' sympathy. But then he heard the noise in the bathroom and went to check out what was happening, finding the professor in his predicament.

“Darrell!”

“What happens? If he broke down, we can always reboot him.” Darrell suggested maliciously, knowing that Boxman Junior had only one body and rebooting him would not work.

“I'm going to... pretend I didn't hear that. Look, apparently I have to change his diaper, but I don't know how to do it. Do you have any idea?”

“Hmmm.” The robot thought about it for a moment, he didn't want to help that hateful baby, but he couldn't leave his stepfather in trouble either. “Leave it to Lord Cowboy Darrell!”

The robot took out his cowboy hat and put it on, pulled the professor aside and skillfully changed the baby's diaper, delivering him cleanly and quietly to Venomous.

“Well! I’m impressed and proud of you Darrell.” The professor congratulated him genuinely.

“Are you... proud?” Darrell's eye began to tear, his smile widened and he hugged the professor tightly. “Thank you, Daddy.”

The teenage robot, returned to his room extremely happy, forgetting his jealousy; and Venomous laughed slightly as he watched him go. Although he had been with Lord Boxman for some time, that episode made him realize that not only the new baby was his son, all the other robots were too.

Finally, the baby had fallen asleep and so did Venomous, everything that had just happened made him forget his anger towards Boxman, so he curled up beside him, hugging him and falling asleep. He was much more tired than he was when he went to sleep the first time.

Faster than he wished, the sun began to peek over the horizon, announcing the beginning of the day, and although they didn't usually get up so early; again the baby's crying made Venomous wake up.

Angry, he rose with resignation. He knew there was no point in trying to wake Boxman up, so tired and with pronounced bags under his eyes; he went once again to the baby's crib.

This time, the little robot had vomited, although to his luck, they were just gears and bolts of a greenish color. It wouldn't be hard to clean, but he worried that the baby was sick.

“Is this normal?” The professor held the robot in his arms and he threw up on him. “Agh!”

“Professor? What happens?” Fortunately, this time Boxman had woken up with the baby's crying, so, rubbing his eyes, after a good night' sleep, he got up to check out his son.

“Boxman! It was time already!” He demanded annoyed, as the baby vomited on him once again, so his anger became a concern. “The baby is sick! I don’t know what's happening!”

“Oh no! My beautiful baby!” Boxman snatched the robot and checked it. “Didn’t you fed him common oil, did you?”  He looked at Venomous accusatively.

“I... uh...”

“P.V...”

“Okay, okay! The baby was crying, I didn't know what to do, I told Fink to bring me his bottle. I…” Venomous spoke quickly, feeling guilt and concern equally. “I don't know how to do this, Boxy.” He admitted defeated, sitting on the floor.

“Oh professor!” Boxman approached him and gave him a loud, wet kiss on the forehead. “Don't worry, the amazing Lord Boxman will teach you!” He declared proudly, “But for now, leave everything in my hands and go back to bed, it seems you've had a difficult night.”

Shocked and surprised, Venomous watched as a pink aura with sparks of light spread around Boxman. He could be quite impulsive and even childish at times, but when he proposed it, he was also an ‘alpha male’, responsible and who could be trusted. Boxman left the room with the baby and Venomous, went back to bed.

After having rested more or less well, Venomous woke up, had his breakfast and went to his laboratory to start working on the bio-chip, which would transform Boxman Junior, from a tender and helpless baby, to a fighting machine; able to defeat the heroes. The faster he finished, the faster he would recover his good night's sleep.

Also, during that day, Boxman took care to show Venomous the basics on how to care for a robot baby: how to lull it, the oil that he should use for his bottle, how to change his diaper and make him fall asleep. The professor paid close attention and hoped he had learned well, otherwise he would have many problems again.

That night, the same torture of the previous one was repeated: no matter how much the baby cried, Boxman was simply like a stone, didn’t move an inch and nothing could wake him up. So it was Venomous's turn, to get up and take care of him again. He thought it was a good opportunity to put into practice what he had learned during the day, however, Boxman Junior was not going to make it so easy that time:

When he got to the crib, he found that the baby was nowhere. Alarmed, he bent down to look for him under the crib and all corners of the room, but he couldn't find him. He noticed that the door was open, so he decided to go looking for him, he couldn't be far away, after all he was just a baby.

“Boxman Junior, where are you?” He called in a whisper, but without getting any answer.

He walked down the hall and found that the door to Darrell and Fink's room was ajar. He was a little scared, since he knew that they weren’t very pleased with their new brother. It seemed that they had decided to forget about the previous night and during the day they continued making derogatory comments towards the baby. Trying to get his attention and Boxman's, so they wouldn't spend time with the little robot, and expressing their dissatisfaction with the situation.

So Venomous got a little worried, with the idea that the baby had entered the room of those two and they were having a hard time. Slowly, he approached and leaned out the door, only to find a situation he had not imagined in a million years:

“Of course not! He loves me more, we are robot brothers after all.” Darrell, who was arguing with Fink, held the baby in his arms.

“Why would he love a pathetic robot like you?” Fink snatched the little one “Obviously he prefers me, I'm more powerful and I could teach him the best methods to defeat that mommy's boy and his pathetic friends.”

“Oh, please! What could you teach him? They always kick your ass.” Darrell stuck his tongue out while he snatched the baby again, who started laughing.

“Look who's talking! You’re the one who disappoints our bosses the most, do you intend to teach the baby how to be a loser?” Fink laughed mockingly, taking Boxman Junior away once more.

“Enough!” When Darrell tried to take the baby back, Fink didn’t let him go and they both began to pull him, each to their side; making the baby cry.

“Look what you did!”

“I? It was you who didn’t leave him alone, obviously he prefers to be with his older brother. You don't even call ‘daddy’ to our daddies.

“I'm Jethro…”

Darrell tried to calm the baby and when Fink was about to continue arguing, Venomous decided it was time to intervene.

“Children!”

“Boss!”

“Daddy! I mean Professor! The baby came through our door and we were just trying to...”

“Give him to me…” He commanded Darrell, frowning with a severe expression on his face.

The robot did as instructed and when Venomous had the baby in his arms, he softened his countenance, looking at the two children who acted as scolded puppies.

“It's great that you love your brother so much, I was already worrying. Congratulations on being so mature!” Darrell and Fink were dumbfounded, since they were ready to get a good reprimand. The professor could be very scary if he wanted to. “Now, I want you to go back to sleep, I'll take care of the child.”

Fink and Darrell obeyed him, without having understood very well what had just happened. Venomous returned to his room as well. Apparently Boxman's classes had borne fruit, as he had made the baby fall asleep quickly. He placed him in his crib, watching him for a minute before returning to bed. And although he thought that he’d sleep well that night, it was not so, since the baby woke him several more times that night.

The next day, despite the obvious tiredness and headache that afflicted him, Venomous was able to finish the bio-chip, which would give Boxman Junior the ability to attack the plaza along with his siblings. Of course, that meant he’d stop being just a quiet baby, to become one of the villains.

“Is it finally done? Excellent! Now we just have to put it on and he’ll be ready for battle.” Boxman cackled like a maniac, as he pushed the baby's hair away, to reveal the slot where he would place the chip.

“Wait!” Venomous grabbed his arm to stop him.

“What's the matter, professor?”

“I was thinking…” Venomous averted his gaze, while a slight blush colored his cheeks “Perhaps we should wait a few more days. Don't you agree?”

“What do you mean?” Boxman looked at him mischievously, suspecting what he was going to say.

“I mean…” The professor laughed nervously. “You know, children grow up so fast, maybe we should leave him just the way he is for a while. Don't you think it’s a good idea?”

“Are you sure? With the bad nights you've been through…”

“I know! But, it's part of the fun right?”

“Very true! Then, we’ll wait for you to be ready.” Boxman placed his hand on Venomous's and pulled him so that he bent down and could give him a brief kiss on the lips. “And don’t worry, from now on we’ll take turns to take care of him during the nights”

“What are you saying? When you sleep you are like a dead man.”

“Ah, that…”Boxman shrugged. “I was just pretending.”

The idea of having a son of the two, seemed splendid to Lord Boxman, he knew that creating a new robot to attack the plaza was the perfect cure for the monotony he felt lately. But seeing how Venomous managed to take care of the baby had been a fun show for him.

“BOXMAN!” Venomous was more than angry, but Boxman didn’t mind his temper as he knew from that moment on, they’ll enjoy their family together and many days of fun awaited them at Boxmore.

 

The End.

 


 

1 This isn’t a typo, in the show all of them say ‘videos game’ instead of ‘video games’, I understand it’s some kind of inside joke for the crew

2 I wrote this several weeks before Ian’s Q&A Twitter session, therefore back then we didn’t know that PV didn’t cook at all.

I apologize about my translating mistakes. Hopefully that didn’t prevent you from enjoying the story. Since I watched Boxman Jr.’s death on ‘You’re in control’ I always wanted him to be rebuilt, as he canonically was Voxman’ son even when Ian hasn’t confirmed that they were a romantic couple. So I thought on giving him a second chance to exist and be loved by both of his dads.

If you like cartoons, I have another translation of a Samurai Jack x Johnny Bravo crossover, that you can find on my profile, I’m sure you’ll find it fun. Also I’ll try to keep translating my other OK KO works.