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Day #17 - Secret

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Kelly didn't know why he was nervous. It wasn't like anything would change, he knew Nick wouldn't be cross with him, or disgusted with him, or any other bad emotion…but he was still nervous, and Nick knew it. He couldn't hide anything from his partner.

The fact that he was pacing up and down the decking of his cabin, and had been for at least ten minutes was probably also a giveaway, if he was honest with himself.

"Kels, are you going t…"

"I have to tell you something." Kelly interrupted, coming to a stop in front of where Nick had been sitting.

Nick couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. It had been completely obvious for a few days that Kelly needed to tell him something, but he had been content to wait to find out what it was. He would never push someone to reveal a secret before they were ready for it, it never did anyone any good, and he was nothing if not patient.

"So I've been reading up about sexuality for a while now…" Kelly said, sinking down in the chair next to Nick and taking his hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of it, waiting to see if Nick would have something to say about that.

Bolstered by Nick's calm demeanour and lack of shock or any words contrary to him continuing the conversation, he continued. "And I think I've found a term that works for me."

Nick smiled at his partner again widely, so very pleased that it was not anything bad that Kelly wanted to share.

Kelly took a deep breath. "I'm demisexual."

"Okay." Nick said, not wanting to stop Kelly's flow by asking questions.

"Do you know what that means?"

Nick shook his head, squeezing Kelly's hand. "Will you tell me?"

"Yes!" Kelly said, smiling himself and relaxing his shoulders now that he knew Nick wasn't going to stop him. He didn't even know why he had been worried, but anxiety over a big life choice was hardly surprising, even if he knew Nick loved him and wanted the best for him. "It's…it basically means that I'm not sexually attracted to someone unless I know them really well, unless there's a large emotional connection there. I guess it's why it didn't work out with my wife, it was too superficial…and it's why it works out so well with you, because I know you down to your bones."

"Gross." Nick said, chuckling.

"Shut up. I guess it's why it took me so long to realise I loved you, why it took me so long to notice how fucking hot you were…because I just couldn't see it until you were it for me." He leant forward and kissed Nick softly. "Which is what I wanted to tell you."

Nick leant in again and kissed Kelly in the same soft way. "Thank you for telling me."

Kelly shrugged. "I had to, I didn't want there to be any secrets between us."

Nick smiled at Kelly, and vowed to himself get to the point where there were no secrets he was hiding from Kelly either…he just needed to find the courage, like his boyfriend had, to do so.