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The Camelopard's Taradiddle

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Will Graham thanked the salesgirl as he was handed a plastic tray of his five coffee orders and given a flirtatious wink after, which completely confused the vet. He picked his own cup (with help from the salesgirl by asking her which was the double expresso), he gives a whole hundred bill and waits for his change. 

He drinks his coffee as he waits, then puts it back in its place in the tray when coffee drips down his wrist. He licks his palm and quickly wipes it down his apron when the girl comes back with his change and an eleven digit number scribbled below 'Kacey' on the receipt. 

Will just gives her a tight lipped smile and scurries away, completely forgetting to drop a few coins or a bill in the tip jar. He almost turned around to apologize to her when he hears a 'hurmph' from behind him, but remembers he needs to beat the five minute break for today or he has to buy coffee for the whole week. Today was testing grounds. 

"Hey, Will!"

Will should have cringed and ran like hell if not for the awfully familiar voice. He turns around and is met with the adorable scene of Margot Verger jogging towards him with her snot-nosed pug, Wagner. 

Margot Verger is a young woman often seen in the socialite news' negative side, fresh break up from a famous boyfriend. Mason Verger is her very supportive brother, downside is he's always on the otherside of the world, a thousand miles off from comforting his beloved sister. So to see Margot that morning with a tired smile to compete Will's-- nonetheless smiling, is refreshing. And if Will was Margot, he's be feeling therapeutic with Wagner, walking around the city like a normal average person. 

When her probably leather boots' heelsounds came to a halt, a few feet from Will, Wagner came to bark up at Will enthusiastically. And the veterinarian couldn't help but imagine Wagner in a deep Cockney accent saying "'Ey mate, nice to see ya 'gain. She's been doin' well, my girl, should see her when she gives em treats to me. You, I know ye like her, better lay off her, boyo." And Will couldn't help but smile down at Wagner, and the macho dog grumbles when he does his smile and keeps to himself dejectedly, sitting beside Will's right foot. 

"How are you, Margot?" Will asks. 

"I'm doing good, my break up with Mr. X hadn't left me too much bad gossips in my wake, but that shouldn't keep me from moving on, right?"


"How about you? How's the shop? The team? Bev?" Then her eyes flash in remembrance, her smile curling coyly, "Oh! How about that 'tall foreign-looking man' with the daschund?"

Will instantly became flustered, "Where'd you read that? The weekly Socialite tabloid?"

Margot laughs throatily, neck bared, giving Will a full glance of a dog tag chained on her neck, even though a casual way to conceal it behind her cardigan, the dog tag contrasting from her imeldific clothing. He had a split second to read the name. 

"No, a little bird told me." She tells him. 

He smiles exasperatedly, "I don't think our shop has a Twitter account."

She knows that he knows she was talking about Bev. She chuckles, looking down at Wagner, pulling him off when he starts sniffing the seam of Will's pantleg. 

"I'm sorry, Wagner, if I smell like crap." Will says to the dog. This time to Margot, "Fun day back in the clinic. Had to give a rottweiler her flu shot."

Margot nods, smiling as she listened to Will. "I shouldn't keep you from your job then; pets to save, clients to fall in love with."

Will sweated, "You did not just say that. Please don't tell me you just said that."

She departed with Will with an evil laugh. Wagner falling behind her, barking at people who gave her a wierd look. 

Will only smiles, shaking his head and chuckling to himself. 


Will pushed the glass door open slipping in, both hands occupied with the coffee tray. 

Jimmy and Brian greeted him with an almost twin-like "Hey Will!" then glared at each other. 

Will glances around and notices that the clinic lack costumers in the waiting area as he placed the tray on the front desk. "Mrs. Y got her cat to stop spraying?"

Brian snorts "Yeah, Jack came in just in time and screwed a cork in it."

"Bri, that's disgusting." Jimmy tells him. 

"Figuratively, that's what happened." He replies, matter-of-factly. 

"So Jack's in?" Will asks, taking his own cup from the tray, moving inside the hall. 

"Yeah! That's whose the cappu for!" Jimmy calls. "Bev's with a really cute blonde in Room 4!"

Will nods, going straight to Jack's office, own coffee in hand. He knocks on the opened door. "Hey Jack, what were you telling me about the conference up in Maine?"

Jack beckons him in, even though he was on the phone. "...Yes, the incarnations and the lilies..."

Will sits on the plastic chair in front Jack's desk, coffee clutched in his hand. He takes two or three sips, gathering that Bella's birthday must be arounf the corner since Jack is already making preparations. 

"Great, thank you very much." Then he puts the phone down on its reciever. He nods at Will and notes the presence of Will's cup of coffee in his hands, "Where's mine?"

There was a knock behind Will and in comes Jimmy with a cup of regular coffee. "Someone forgot." And he pointedly glances at Will. Then quickly leaves, closing the door behind him. 

Jack clears his throat, "Will, I don't want you to go to that vet conference in Maine."

This shocked his employee. 

"You can go if you want to, you can. But I have an alternative to offer. An international convention in Brussels." He raises a mini magazine with Will's name inscribed on it. 

"You--what?" Will took the magazine from his hands and flipped it open. 

"Apparently, Will, your blog about the clinic, not only helped our business to bloom, but also been recognized in Europe as well. So I really would like you to pack and leave for Brussels on Wednesday. And we'll see you after about a week."

"But, the clinic--" He argued. 

"Can function without your greenthumb, go." Jack tells him, a smile on his face. 

"Thanks, I guess."

Jack waves him off dismissively. 


After Will and Bev's shift, Bev had to drag a reluctant Will to alot of clothing stores, taking the news of Will's momentary absence for Brussels as an alibi to change his clothes. 

"I don't need--" He tries. 

Bev cut him off sharply, "No, you should change your old-man clothes because any time a girl--or guy-- walks through the door and instantly takes a liking in you, you'll keep in mind to make me the maid-of-honour." She ends with a flamboyant gesture to herself. 

Will chuckles, then asks, "And what gave you the notion that I would like to settle around a white picket fence?"

She rolls her eyes, shoving a sweater into his already-full arms. "I beg to differ, for one thing it'd be a vast backyard with 12 dogs barking at you, jumping on your leg while your wife kisses you on the cheek and you make sweet, sweet love in the shower room." She pauses midway from pulling out an Aztec printed shirt, "Or," she purrs, "You'd probably like your tall foreign looking man? Which reminds me!" She twirls around to a rack across the room, "you would look good in a trench coat too! I remember this friend of mine who used to fanatisize about a trench coat wearing character in TV." She hands him a purple trench coat.

"Why purple?!" Will questions quizzically, being pushed to the direction of the fitting rooms. 

"If you're not taking it, I will!" Bev opened the door to a vacant stall and pushes Will in, closing it quickly before he can retort. 


In the end of their shopping spree, Will bought three shirts, a pair of quite skinny pants, a necktie and beige heels. Which is clearly stupefying for one Will Graham. 


"Bev?" Will called after he packed that Tuesday afternoon, now cooking for his dogs and himself some spaghetti bolognese or a relatively close version of it. 

His cellphone in between his oven-mitt covered hand and his ear, his other hand stirring the tomato sauce from sticking to the bottom of the pan with a wooden ladle he didn't know he owned. 

"Kindly remind me why there's a pair of of shoes in one my the bags?"

"What?" Came her phone-voice, sounding incredulous. "I got a poncho and pair of Jimmy Choo shoes." She tells him as if she had no time for his bullshit, though in truth, she always made time for all of Will's crap. "Jimmy Choo, Will! D'you know how expensive that is?! I barely have enough napkins to keep me sane for the rest of the month!"

He scoffs, ladle still mixing. "Why don't you and Jim stop your Scavenger Hunt? Bri probably has a year's supply of napkin in his dresser." He reminds her, remembering the fact that both Bev and Jimmy keep slipping in a napkin inside Brian's bag before he leaves, an ongoing prank that happens once or twice in a week. 

"That isn't the problem!" She shrieks, "I bought something useless, something I would never wear!"

The ladel stops stirring momentarily, "Then sell it to Bella. You could probably rake in enough from her to live for a month with a couple of falafels." Will hears Bev's phone being put down, probably on the front desk, and then two muffled voices, he stirs while he listens "Hey, Mrs. Crawford! May I interest you on buying my Jimmy Choo's?" "Oh, those are really pretty, when did you buy it?" "When Will and I were too drunk to even keep hold of our minds. Which was yesterday." "I'll be honoured to take them from you.." Then the phone is picked up once more. "And that is how you sell to a nice woman."

"Doesn't solve my problem." Will says. Suddenly Applesauce is jumping up his leg, most likely yapping about "Feed me" or something along those lines. "I read it's Burberry. And I don't know exactly what a burberry is."

"It's a brand, dufus."

"Oh yeah? I couldn't tell." He mock-dumbly replies. 

Bev mocks him, "You so need to read the fashion magazines Bella brings in the clinic."

"When I get back from Brusselsprouts." Applesauce leaves but she's replaced by Will's new addition to his pack, a Border Colie he named 'Joe' because Joe adores Sloppy Joe. And Joe is whining right now, reporting that the other dogs were already waiting. 

"I'm not even going to correct you." Bev tells him. 

"I'm fully aware of my error, dear Spellcheck. Anyway," Will then says, "about my Burberry's. What do I do with them?"

"See if your feet fits, because mine is fairly smaller than your size-- My shoe size is--" 

Will cursed like he just mistaken the soda can into the plastic segregation bin. All the whining and barking dogs grew quiet. Joe lowered his front legs in humiliation as Winston came to rebuke him. The veterinarian quickly turned the stove off and craned his neck down the steaming tomato sauce, "Bev, can you hear me?" He shivers when bubbles appeared on the top. 

Instead, he moves to his room where the shopping bags of what the bought were. He opened the Burberry bag and pulls out both left and right shoe. He sits on the floor and puts them on. He huffs, laughing at himself then heaves himself up when his landline rang in the hallway. 


"I'll have to breach patient-doctor confidentiality and ask Wagner if Margot is my size."

"No need to do that," he says warily, "The shoes fit me, and I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"That they're really comfortable."

"Gross." Bev screams at Jimmy, who was probably doing Pictionary with Bella and Bev understood wrongly.  "Oh-kay, Jim just sprayed cat pee on the store windows. Asshole's colorblind of blue and yellow. Anyhow, what happened to your phone?" She asks, back to their main conversation in hand. 

"It swam in the tomato sauce."

"And what shall we do with your Burberry's?" She asks so politely, completely avoiding the cellphone sauce, probably keeping a mental note not to join Will when he offers spaghetti. 

"I'm taking it with me to Brussels. 

"Oh great!" Bev says enthusiastically. "You can come over and borrow my cousin Joseph's drag queen wig."

"Not what I meant, I'll find someone in the convention who would like to take the Burberry."

Bev laughs, then again, it was too low to be a woman's voice. 

"Who's that?" 

"Jack. I just put you on loudspeaker. And Bella's really praising your heroic act of considering other alternate choices for your heels."

Will ignores the brusque guffaws erupting from the other line and ends the call. 


The airport in Brussels is really good, if his femininity is to be the judge: really clean bathrooms. And friendly staff. And a really pretty teller who exchanged his monetaries. 


Will had to punch his face to put his glasses on. "H-hey, Doctor Lecter." His nose hurt. "What a surprise to see you in the same airport." What a surprise indeed, 'surprise, your nose just broke'. Will grumbles under his breath as he held his nose. 

Hannibal's eyes were wide in shock, which made look him comical to Will. "Let's take you to the hospital, Will."

The vet had wanted to ask to wait so he can tend to his luggage but remembers that it was going to be taken to his hotel room. So with Dr. Lecter he goes. 


And apparently, Dr. Lecter is staying in the hotel across Will's. 

"Let's have breakfast together, Will." Hannibal tells him. The tone he says it in sounded like a suggestion, even with the easy-going smile Will's swooning over. And it's not like Will would turn him down. 


"Good night then."

"Good night."


Bev groaned as she answered her landline at three in the morning, "Why?" She whined into the phone, she doesn't even care who is so unresponsible to call in an ungodly hour. "It is a frigging Saturday. Mamma needs her pretty sleep."

"Bev, I think I'm gay."

She rubs her eyes off sleeep. "And I'm Pocahontast, get to the point."

"Dr. Lecter's here in Brussels! We met in the airport."

She had to double-take and sees it was an international number. "Will? You're calling from your hotel?"


"What time is it?"

"9 AM."

She groans, laying her head on her kitchentop. "Take pity on the six hours time difference. I thought you were a barman in calling from Bri's phone so I can pick him up while I'm in my pajamas." She blinks and sees her coffeemaker starting to hum to life. "I'll give you my undividen attention after 20 minutes. Call me then." She puts it down and pulls out the batteries and she goes back to her warm bed and sleeps for more than what she bargained for

And Will couldn't correct her 'undividen' since she left him for a bed.